CTHULU

SEATILE
SEATILE POST-INTELLIGENCER
BILL WHITE
REVIEW NEGATIVE (F/A-F)
SEPTEMBER 12, 2008
B&W PHOTO
PAGE 1 OF 1

Wannabe horror
flick is nothing
but a disaster
8Y BIU WHITE
Sprdlll (0 lhr p.J

H.P. Lovecraft has a history of mistreat·

ment in the cinema. Films based on his Sl(r
ries have been passable ("Oil', 10llSter,
Diel"), mediocre ("Dagon"), and outright
terrible ("'The Unnamable"), but nothing
comes near the abomination of"Cthulhu:
which not only desecrates Lovecraft, bUt
film craft. R1CENT RIllASlSC
Let's st:aJl with the screenplay by Grant MIchael, left. and Ruuell struggle with their feelings. bigotry and apoQllyptl( chaos
Cogswell, the Belltown Writer in Residence while RllSsell visits his Oregon coast hometown fo, his mother's funeral.
at Richard Hugo House. Granted, many
horror films dOll't make sense until the end·
ing, but they at least provide a few scares MOVIE REVIEW grotesque effe<:r. AI. the memorial {or Rus·
along the W<l y. seU's mother, the orange is more intense
TIlis shambling mess - which pre· CTHULHU than the pained expressions of me mourn­
miered last ye.ar at the Seanle IntemanOD' ers.
-a1 Film FeStival- offers nothing but a lesson DIRECTOR; Dan Gilda~
The cast is rank, and director Dan Gil­
in how not to make a movie, CAST: J.w>r CollIe, Scon Green, Cora Buono,
dark does nOlhing to conceal theiI short·
Jason Conle plays RusseU, a college Roben f'adilta, Tori Spelling
comings, onen lecring the crunera roll from
professor who !"Crums to his hometown for RUNNING TIME; 109 minutes
a 5laticposirion While theygo through their
his mother's funeral to discover his family lines.
might be behind a series of cbild kidnap­ RATING; NOlliltE<d
When he at last drifts to the end of his
pings. WHERE: Metro
rail', and this linle 10wn on the OregoD
A victim of small·w....'n homophobia, GRADE: F
coast has gone as crazy as one of Stephen
his outsider starus increases when he is $W. King's New England villages, Gildark repre·
pC'Cled of being a close cousin (0 The Crea· sen~ the apocalyptic chaos wid! a montage
ture from the Black Lagoon. of ringing telephones.
His old friend Michael likes him, would have been bener left undeveloped. WIth the town in partic, iUld itS resi·
though, and they even hiwesex, but the af· A bar scene is illuminated by nothing but dentS in flight, r wonder who W<lS making
terglow is ruined by Michael's proclama· pinball machines and a light bulb. tlle calls.
lion that "I can't JUSt change my.Jife and be Wese it DO[ for the occasional ray of
a gay guy." ­ lighl through a 'vindow, we would be look· BlU WIIite is • Seattle-b~d art:l and
Sean Kirby's cinematography is fine in ing al a dark screen. When Kirby bothers to enr.ttail1lt1ent wriler. He can b<! ,eached at
the daylight. The interior sho~, however, light a scene, he favors colored filters 10 BwIll5l0holman.com