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Birth Companion Guide

The secret to being a confident birth companion
By Juliet Eccleston and Lee Turner Creators of the Psychology of Giving Birth Programme www.birthdownload.com

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What is a Birth Companion?

Historically, women would have given birth surrounded by female family members who have given birth before and were able to coach and guide mum to a calm and gentle birth. It would have been an empowering experience for mum, where she was able to feel completely in control of her experience and would have felt safe, relaxed and joyous. A lot of this has been lost in how women give birth today, rather than being seen as a goddess in their birthing temple, they are often seen as medical references on the labor ward conveyor belt. Birth Companions can make a real difference to the birth experience. With just a few simple tips and tricks, you will be able to play a big part in making the mum you are supporting feel empowered, in control and to enable you both to actually enjoy your birth day. In short, a birth companion is someone present at the birth whose primary focus is A) To ensure that the birth preferences are referred to by medical staff B) To ensure that mum feels safe and is relaxed C) To listen to mums needs and enable whatever it is she requires D) To prompt mum to enable her to work with her body and baby E) Give mum the space to go within and focus on giving birth A) Birth Preferences Birth preferences are an excellent way to ensure you are both clear on how you would prefer the birth to pan out. Its not a plan of exactly what will happen, but more a list of preferences which you have discussed, so you dont need to discuss them whilst mum is in labor. It can cover many different scenarios in case things change on the day, for example, preferences for if the birth is at home, or if it moves to hospital, or if intervention is required. Once you are clear about the birth preferences, it is important that the Birth Companion walks the attending medical staff through them. If things have changed during pregnancy or labor which means that some cannot be covered, then check with the medical staff as to whether there are any alternatives, for example, it may be that mum needs a Caesarean, but it may be that she could still have her favourite relaxing music playing. More information on Birth Preferences can be found in our downloadable antenatal programme called The Psychology of Giving Birth Programme. B) Helping Mum Feel Safe And Relaxed If mum doesnt feel safe then fear could creep in. When a woman experiences fear in labor, in many cases labor slows down or stops. This is due to the body believing that it is an unsafe location or time to deliver the baby and it will delay labor until mum feels safe again. Make sure mum is completely happy with where she is giving birth and that it is where she feels most relaxed. Remove anything from the environment or conversation which may bring in fear, for example if you are at home, place a sign on the door so you dont get any unwanted visitors, leave the answer phone on and make sure attending medical staff are not having discussions where mum is in earshot. If you are in hospital, often lots of equipment being in a room can instil fear; check beforehand whether equipment can be removed, whether you can just have one attending midwife at any point and even whether some of the monitoring really needs to happen. Having your progress checked during labor can cause anxiety, so make sure you are clear beforehand about what mum wants (and put it in your birth preferences). To increase her feeling of relaxation make sure you know what it is that makes her relaxed and arrange for these to be available during labor. For example this could be relaxing music, certain aromas, the feeling of a comfortable blanket or certain picture from somewhere she links to relaxation. Find out what these things are and create her a temple a goddess would enjoy giving birth in!

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In the early stage of labor, you could also incorporate laughter by buying some favourite humorous DVDs. This is a great way to increase relaxation. C) Giving Her What She Asks For

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During labor, mum will be experiencing the Mount Everest of bodily achievements. Along the way, she may feel thirsty and want water, she may want to change positions, she may need food for energy and she may need to sleep. Her body will be telling her what she needs and its important that it is listened too. In some cases, attending staff may not appreciate the importance of what mum needs or in some cases may feel that it is not appropriate. For example, in some cases medical staff have not allowed a mum to sleep as this would mean that labor would slow down for a while and therefore she would not deliver in the timescales they had assumed. Nobody knows the impact that this intervention would have on birth, so you will need to be the voice of mum and trust in her body. D) Prompting Mum This is an often under-rated element to the role of the Birth Companion, however can make a huge difference. To effectively prompt mum to keep her relaxed or increase relaxation, you need to know what she needs to hear. This can be excerpts from downloads she has been listening too, affirmations she has been using, breathing prompts or just telling her just how amazing she is. There was a case at The Farm (documented in Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth) in America where a mums labor had stalled for a while and for a few hours her labor didnt progress at all. Then, the birth companion just whispered to her Youre amazing, she asked him to say it again so he said Youre amazing, soon enough labor was progressing and the birth companion and midwives in attendance were all chanting Youre amazing together. See, you just never know the impact of a few words

For breathing prompts, the main thing to make sure of is that her breathing is steady and controlled. If you believe it is out of control, then prompt her to breath out for longer than she is breathing in. This will stabilise the amount of oxygen she is taking in and allow her breathing to return to normal. It is also a good idea to prompt mum to take her time, often it feels as though there is a need to rush giving birth, but it will be much more gentle and calm if mums works with her body and takes her time. This is especially important just as the babys head is about to emerge. Mum will feel the urge to push at this point and if she rushes, then there is a much more likely chance of tearing. Taking her time will allow her skin to stretch and due to the pressure of the baby on her skin for a long period of time, there will be no feeling in that area. Prompting mum to bear down or breath the baby down only when she is experiencing the urge is also useful as this will focus her attention on working with her body. The idea of bearing down or breathing the baby down is to avoid unnecessary forced pushing, often the word pushing is associated to a feeling of being tense, and tensing the muscles or forcing the baby out could result in mum tearing. Bearing down, in comparison, is a way of controlling the energy to gently allow baby to be born. To be blunt, its the difference between working with your bodys natural expulsive reflex to do a poo (yes, I just wrote poo!), compared to forcing it out. Next time you are on the toilet try it and you will understand. Another time to prompt is if mum has drunk a lot of fluids and hasnt been to the toilet in a while. Theres not much room for baby to be delivered if her bladder is full and having a brief

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walk to the toilet may help speed up the process, as well as enable her to reconsider what position feels best as she returns. E) The Space To Go Within

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Giving birth takes a lot of focus and concentration. Imagine trying to throw a ball to hit a target whilst having lots of people distracting you with their conversations, questions or noises it would make it quite difficult. For mum to be able to listen to her body and work with it, it is likely that she will need the environment to be a certain way. Often mums like the lights to be dimmed, for people to have their conversations outside the room and to not be interrupted with constant checking. This means that you will be the main person speaking with any medical staff that want to discuss the birth. Naturally you will have your birth preferences to go by initially, but as they ask more questions you may find yourself intimidated by not know as much medical information as them. A good way to deal with challenges from medical staff, which you are unsure as to how to deal with, is to use BRAN. Benefits Risks Alternatives Nothing So, you can ask, what are the benefits of what you are suggesting? What are the risks associated with it? What alternatives are there? What happens if we do nothing? Often this last question can be also worded like What would happen if you left us for an hour and then came back? This can be extremely useful if labor has slowed down and if mum needs a nap, some food or to have a walk about.

Summary So, by simply visualizing how it may have been for our ancestors and thinking about how you could make mum feel the same way, you will already have a huge impact on the birth. Birth is an amazing journey for the Birth Companion as well as mum, cherish every moment of the journey, enjoy feeling in control of whats happening around you and look forward to telling baby all about how amazing it was so they can pass on a positive birth experience to the next generation.

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Enabling calm and gentle births

www.birthdownload.com

The Psychology of Giving Birth Programme

The Birth Companion Guide that you have just read forms part of a fully downloadable antenatal programme called The Psychology of Giving Birth created by Juliet Eccleston. The programme comprises of 6 documents and 7 audio files that builds on the resources you already have and is unlike any other antenatal course you will go on. The programme focuses only on the psychology of birth and not the biology of birth so it is a perfect complement to any other antenatal courses you may be attending. It takes you on a journey of a one to one session with Juliet, exactly as if you were sat in her consulting room. It will utilise resources and skills you already have and enable you to shape and mould these to help you on your birth day. Rather than prescribe what you should relax to and what you should visualise, it gives you the skills to understand your mind and body and create visualisations and relaxation triggers which work for you and the unique journey you are on. At the end of the programme, you will:

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Have a clear view of what you want your birth experience to be like Understand what triggers enable you to relax and how you can maximise on these for during labor Have discovered visualizations, which work for you Understand how to control any anxiety you have during labor Know how to reduce the risk of tearing Know how to work with your contractions and minimise any discomfort Have a birth companion who understands the journey you will be on and is completely prepared and in control Have learned how to listen to your body and why those messages are so important Have reduced the risk of intervention Be looking forward to your birth day.

For a more detailed description of what is included in the programme and how it can help you achieve the birth you want visit our website and be sure to watch the video introduction: The Psychology of Giving Birth Programme See the feedback we have had from one of our past mums:

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Enabling calm and gentle births

www.birthdownload.com

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About Juliet Eccleston

Juliet is trained in Hypnotherapy, Psychotherapy NLP and EFT. In addition, she has also been a HypnoBirthing Practitioner. She does one on one sessions, runs regular courses and workshops and works with organisations both locally and across the UK. Juliet has a high profile both locally within the community and nationally. She is an author and has appeared on radio interviews as well as the national press. She frequently coaches other therapists and mentors new students. Juliet has an excellent success rate with clients, ranging from enabling an addictive eater to stop hiding food around the house and eating in the middle of the night, to increasing the confidence of a well known musician. She has removed countless phobias and fears, not to mention enabled so many babies to be born into a wonderfully calm environment. Having also worked as a project manager for a number of years, Juliet has a unique collaboration of skills which enables her to not only work well with individual clients, but also with groups, organisations and management teams experiencing change. Juliet has worked on many large change programmes, including the launch of Egg, Britannia Building Society Customer Experience Programme, Abbey Customer Experience Programme and BBC TV Licensing Programme. Juliet is sensitive to peoples needs and is known for her relaxed yet focussed working style and enjoys bringing high energy, fun and much laughter to her workshops. Helping the local community is important to Juliet and she supports the Birth Trauma Association, which supports all women who have had a traumatic birth experience.

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