/

Я . М . Вовшин
И . И . П анова

АНГЛИЙСКИЙ С УЛЫБКОЙ

The Fun o f H andling

Tricky T hings in English
УДК sir.' in o:>,vГ))
S I 3 А н гл .м2
HOI

С ер ия (H iKHitiuti ч / f) W /о<)ц

Вовшин Я. М. , Панова П .И .
BO I А н гл и й ск и й с у л ы б к ой . - T h e Fun o f H a n d lin g
T rick y T h i n g s in English: Справ, пособие. —
Мн.: П арадокс, 2001. 176 с.: ил. («Э р удит»).

I S B N 985 -4 5 1 091 3.

С б о рн и к сод ерж и т увлекательный юмористическим

язы ковой материал для правильного восприятия слож ­
ных и неоднозначных построении английском речи.
Пособие н занимательном ф орм е развивает навыки
творческого м ыш ления, обеспечивает самоконтроль при
решении лингвистических задач тестов.
Построенное по принципу интеллектуальной игры,
пособие ок аж ет неоценимую помощь всем, кто хотел бы
овладеть тонкостями английской разговорной речи.

УДК 802.0(035.5)
БВК 81.2 Лнгл.я2

© Вовшин Я .М ., Панова И И., 2001

© Оформление и разработка серии
ISBN 985 451 091 3 «Парадокс», 2001
INTRODUCTION

Tricky Things — Handle With Care

There is a s t o r y a b o u t a s c ho o l b o y w h o w a s in t h e habit of
f l y i n g <■! h a v e w e n t » i n s t e a d of «I have g one ». O n e d a y his
ItlC h e r ordered him to sta y after school and to w rite
■>l have gon e » t h r e e h u n d r e d t i m e s on t h e blac kb o a rd .
T h e b o y faithfully c o m p l e t e d his task and then left t h e
f o l l o w i n g n o t e for h i s t e a c h e r :

•■Dear T e a c h e r — I h a v e finished m y w o r k , a n d I h a v e w e n t
home*.
W i t c h o u t for bad h a bi t s in u s i n g y o u r Engl is h. S u c h h ab it s
i r e n o t e a s y to b r e a k . T h i s is w h a t m a k e s E n g l i s h s o
l a s c i n a t i n g a s t u d y t o n a t i v e s a nd to for ei gner s alike.
M o s t people s e e m to learn a foreign l a n g u a g e m o re effectively
If g r a m m a t i c a l r eg u l ar i ti es are f ocused on. F or s o m e s t u d e n t s
i n c r e a s i n g t he ir v o c a b u l a r y m a y be at l east as i m p o r t a n t as
grammar. S y s t e m a t i c p r a c t i s i n g of skills in t h e u s a g e of
e s s en t i a l g r a m m a r a nd v o c a b u l a r y is p a r t i c ul a rl y i m p o r t a n t
al tire initial a nd i n t e r m e d i a t e s t a g e s of l a n g u a g e ac qui si ti o n .
H o w e v e r f or ei gn l e a r n e r s of E n g l i s h a s w el l a s n a t i v e
s p e a k e r s also n ee d t o e n c o u n t e r a c er t a i n a m o u n t of «irre­
gular» n a t ur a l l a n g u a g e . W i t h o u t c o n t r a s t i n g g r a m m a t i c a l
r e g u l a r i t i e s a g a i n s t t h e d i v e r s i t y of u n s t r u c t u r e d in p ut ,
implications, verbal and syntactical ambiguities, t he m ec h an i s m
of a c q u i r i n g En g l is h m a y not o p e r a t e effectively.
The p u r p o s e of P a r t I of t h e book is to s h o w a s t u d e n t h o w
In improve his k n o w l e d g e of En g l is h t h r o u g h t h e an al ysi s of
a certain n u m b e r of l a n g u a g e s u b t l e t i e s t h a t s h o u l d be
handl ed with car e. T h e s e include special difficulties for a
Ru s s ia n learner of En gl i sh in the u s a g e of pr e po si ti on s, t e ns e

3
iiiн I \ nil i 11 >i ni . 11и 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 l( I ii ,,igc of wh ic h is h a m p e r e d b y j
a »111It •i i n i p al 11 •111111 у nl . s o m e of 1lie i n in I lie m o t h e r l o n g u e . ]

Vi iy o l l m foreign l ea rn e rs ge l alone wi th th e w o r d s t h a t !
look alike ( c o n ti n ua l / c o n t i n u o u s ; e c o n o m i c / e c o n o m i c a l ) ]
a n d t h e y n ee d a kind of c o n t e x t u a l o p p os i t i o n for t h e i r ]
a d e q u a t e consolidation!

O n e of the m o s t v ul ne r ab l e a r e a s w i t h foreign s t u d e n t s o f 1
E ng l is h is p h r as a l verbs. T h e y r e q u i r e a c e r t a i n a m o u n t of 1
m e m o r y work. And finally t h e r e is a c er t a in v o c a bu l a r y and
c e r t a i n s yn t a c t i c a l s t r u c t u r e s t h a t a re hard for b ot h foreign ;
l e a r n e r s a nd n a tive s p e a k e r s of Engl ish to handle. T h e y a re ]
p r i ma r il y p a r t s of s e n t e n c e s t h a t ar e g r a m m a t i c a l l y di s u ni te d
w i t h t h e m i s u s e or o m i s s i o n of c o n n e c t o r s or a p u n in th e
l a n g u a g e A special se ct io n ( S e c t i o n III. H u m o u r T h r o u g h
la r i n g) is d e v o t e d to g r a m m a t i c a l i r r egul ar it ies , p o l y s e m y of
w o r d s, s t r u c t u r a l h o m o n y m y of s e n t e n c e s , etc., t h a t a l t e r the
m e a n i n g of a s e n t e n c e or u t t e r a n c e , m a k i n g it a m b i g u o u s
a n d t h u s c r e a t i n g a h u m o r o u s effect.

To t his end we h av e c ol lect ed a n u m b e r of j o k e s m o s t l y

from British and A m e r i c a n s o u r c e s i n c l u d i n g q u o t a t i o n s from
b o o k s of f a mo us w r i t e r s, p h i lo so ph er s , politicians.

W e a r e fully a w a r e of t-he fact t ha t to deal w i t h h u m o u r is a

d a n g e r o u s b u si ne s s.

W e all h ave s u c h different id ea s of w h a t is funny. W h a t is

f un ny to an E n g l i s h m a n is of ten n ot f un n y to a Ru ss ia n.
W h a t is f u n n y to o n e E n g l i s h m a n m a y n o t be f un ny to
a n o t h e r . And n o t h i n g is m o r e e x a s p e r a t i n g to a r e a d e r t han
' h u m o u r ' which he c a n n o t u n d e r s t a n d . It s t r i k e s him a s ei ther
an i m p e r t i n e n c e o r an insult to his int el ligence.

N e v e r t h e l e s s , w e h ave s t e p p e d on t h a t u n s t a b l e path b e c a us e
t h e j ok e s a r e m e a n t n ot m e r e l y for t h e s a k e of fun or
e n t e r t a i n m e n t bu t for a s e r i o u s linguist ic in ve s ti ga t io n . The
s e c t i o n c o n t a i n i n g n e c e s s a r y t h eo r et ic a l d a t a will m a k e it
possible for t h e s t u d e n t to a p p r o a c h h u m o u r from a linguistic
point a nd t h u s help him to a c q u i r e th e skills of c o m p r e h e n d i n g
I lit mo; ! c o m p l e x int ell ectual feat a cc e ss i bl e to all h u m a n s ,
Ни' u s e oi l a n g u a g e .
I lur , the IirsI pari of the book deals with t e s t i n g t h e s t u d e n t s ’
i Oiripctence oi I he s y s t e m arid s t r u c t u r e of the l a n g u a g e .
Pfifl II P e r f o r m a n c e is pr imar il y m e a n t to help t he s t u d e n t s
.и q u i r e skills of u s i n g the Engl is h l a n g u a g e as a m e a n s ol
t iHiminiiication. It c o n s i s t s of t h r e e s e c ti on s , e ac h a i m e d to
it vclop o n e ol 1he skills: talking, reading, writing. The sections
I f f I nt er r el at ed and s e r v e o n e and the s a m e p ur po s e: to
i i t e h the s t u d e n t s to c o m m u t i i c a l e wi t h e ac h other. T h u s ,
t e M n g is ba se d on d i s c u s s i n g p i c t u r e s i l l us tr at i n g j o k e s like
t h o s e hi P a r t I. T he s t o r i e s in S e c t i o n R e a d i n g are also
nit ,nil t s Create a di s cu ss io n: all of t h e m deal wi t h p r o b l e m s
p i t ■■r u l i n g an i n t e r e s t to m o st people e spe cia ll y t h e y o u n g .
Set lion III deals with w r it in g activity, namely, wr it ing a Precis
Ifld E s s a y - Wr i ti n g. T he ability to w r i t e a good precis is an
i n d i c a t o r of good a nd c o r r e c t r eadi ng, for t h e e s s e n c e of a
precis is a s u m m a r y of t h e ma in c o n t e n t s — a r g u m e n t s ,
■T i lr me nt s, c on s id e ra t io n s of s e p a r a t e p a s s a g e s and t h e piece
| i a whole. In this w a y t h e s t u d e n t will learn to de epl y
p e n e i r a t q into t h e m a i n idea of a piece of l ite ra tur e, the
a u t h o r s s t a n d p o i n t s a n d vi ews.
A l the same time it is a s t e p further on the road to that
c o m p l e t e independence iri his w ritin g which comes, finally,
With essay-writing.

I)etailed i n s t r u c t i o n s of h o w t o wr it e a good e s s a y a re given

in t h e s a m e sec ti on .
A s t u d e n t will ge t t h e m o s t o u t of t his book if he a p p r o a c h e s
it not as a c a s u al r e a d er b u t as an a ct iv e th in ke r. H e will
find it an i n v i g o r a t i n g e x p e r i e n c e in m e n t a l g y m n a s t i c s a nd
will g e t k n o w l e d g e a n d p le a s u r e from it at t he s a m e t ime.
A uthors
Part L COMPETENCE

Section 1. Vocabulary and Sentence Structure

T e s t y o u r pr of ici ency in Engl i sh. T e s t yourself. C o m p l e t e
t h e t a s k s t h a t follow. G i v e y ou rs e lf one credit for e v e r y l
a n s w e r . Is y o u r s c o r e l ow ( 5 0 p e r c e n t or less), fair ( 5 0 to
70), credible ( 7 0 to 85), or e xc el le nt ( 8 5 to 100)? W h a t e v e r
y o u r sc o re , d o n ’t worry'. It will be v e ry m u c h b e t t e r a t t h e j
e nd of t hi s book t h a n it is at t h e b e gi nn i ng . In a n y c a s e you
c an u s e t his b oo k to y o u r a d v a n t a g e . D o n ’t s k i p or skim.
G o ahead!

A. Word Choice
А -I. The w or ds in this g a m e look simp le e n o u g h , but
wa t c h out. They are f re qu en tl y m is us e d beca use of
th e si m i la r it y in t he ir appea ra nc e. In each of the
f o ll o w i n g s e n t e n c e s c ho os e the correct word enclo se d
in brackets.
1. You s h o u l d s p e a k t o s o m e o n e else ( b e s i d e / b e s i d e s )
H el e n .

2. H e w o r k s on ( a l t e r n a t e / a l t e r n a t i v e ) days: M o n d a y ,
T u es d a y , Friday.
3. T h e c o u n t r y is in a p r ob le ma ti c ( e c o n o m i c / e c o n o m i c a l )
state.
4. P l e a s e k^ep ( q u i e t / q u i t e ) .
5. You s houl d g o t h r o u g h t h e official ( c a n a l s / c h a n n e l s )
if you w a n t the a d m i n i s t r a t i o n to help.
6. H e p a r tl y w a l k e d but ( m o s t / m o s t l y ) ran to t h e s t a ti on
t o be on t i m e for the train.
7. T h e sign « ( c o n t i n u a l / c o n t i n u o u s ) p e rf or ma nc e» m e a n s

6
 I I'mI there is a shor t p a u se b e t w e e n t h e end of one s h o w i n g
nl Iht' film and t h e b e g i n n i n g of t h e next.
H Mis c h a n c e s look ( b a d / b a d l y ) .
'I 11ii>v ( a c c e p t e d / e x c e p t e d ) t he in vi t a ti on w i th joy.
II) Mini's a m i s t a k e he ( m o s t / a l m o s t ) a l w a y s m a k e s
II l b seems, to h a v e b ut a ( g e n e r a l / g e n e r o u s ) idea of
tlii’ s ub je ct
ГЬе ( i m m i n e n t / e m i n e n t ) D o c t o r J o n e s c u re d he r of
h er s ic k ne s s.
I i I h i m , now a s c h o o l t e a c h e r , w a s ( f o r m e r l y / f o r m a l l y )
a typi st.
I hey d a n c e d in a ( s p e c i o u s / s p a c i o u s ) hall.
Hi The j u r y believed t h e w i t n e s s b e c a u s e his s t o r y s o u n d e d
so ( c r e d i b l e / c r e d u l o u s ) .
in T h e y had ( a v e r s e / a d v e r s e ) whnds t h r o u g h o u t the
v oy a ge .
J e s s e J a m e s w a s a ( n o t e d / n o t o r i o u s ) cr imi nal .
T he s e r m o n w a s a good ( s t i m u l u s / s t i m u l a n t ) to noble
acti on.
I(i 1 lis a r g u m e n t s o u n d e d ( p l a u s i b l e / p l o s i v e ) , b ut it w a s
untrue.
4). Did J o a n ’s m a r r i a g e ( p r o c e e d / p r e c e d e ) or follow her
g r a d u a t i o n from U n iv e r s i t y ?
’I The v/ it ne ss for t he ( p e r s e c u t i o n / p r o s e c u t i o n ) did
no t t u r n u p in co ur t.
D i ct a t o r s a r e g en er al ly ( c o n t e m p t i b l e / c o n t e m p t u o u s )
of t h e i r p e o p l e ’s w is h es .
'H All t h e c r i t i c s a c c l a i m e d t h e ( e x c e p t i o n a b l e / e x ­
c e p t i o n a l ) mer i t of t h e y o u n g p a i n t e r ’s l a n d sc a pe s .
4 Col lect i ng s t a m p s in his spar e ti me w a s his ( a v o c a t i o n /
vocation).
I a l w a y s ( r i s e / r a i s e ) at s e v en o ’clock.
Л-ll. The c on fu sio n of the words below arises because
of t he ir no tio n a l s y n o n i m i t y . There are m a n y such
words in English. This ro und of the g a m e is very
m u c h like tha t of А-I. In e a c h of th e f o l l o w i n g
s e n t e n c e s selec t the correct word out of th os e in
brackets.
1. I m e t him q u i t e ( o c c a s i o n a l l y / b y c h a n c e ) w h e n I w as
h u r r y i n g to s e e m y friend off.
2. W h a t s e e m e d child’s ( p l a y / g a m e ) at first t u r n e d out
to be a s e r i o u s and e ve n d a n g e r o u s job.
3. H e liked his n e w ( w o r k / j o b ) . The ( w o r k / j o b ) was
hard, b u t it w a s i nt er es ti ng .
4. H e ( r e f u s e d . / r e j e c t e d ) a b i g s u m of m o n e y offered to
h i m for his pi ct ur es .
5. P a s s p o r t s a re u sual ly (c h e c k e d / controlled) at t h e
customs.
6. A n o t h e r piece of e v ide nc e w a s ( o f f e r e d / s u g g e s t e d ) .
7. Sir F r a n k W i t t l e ( d i s c o v e r e d / i n v e n t e d ) t h e e n gi ne .
8. N o o n e k n o w s (the c a u s e / the reason) of hi s
disappearance.
9. T h e y w e r e ( a m u s e d / e n j o y e d ) by t h e c ir c us cl own.
10. N o t h i n g c a n g r o w in t h e p o o r ( s o i l / g r o u n d ) .
11. You m a y c o u n t on him ( t o d a m a g e / t o s p o i l ) t h e fun.
12. The most of the child’s identity w as soon ( d i s p l a y e d / re­
vealed) .
13. As far as I c an se e you h a v e n o b o d y to ( b l a m e / c o n ­
d e m n ) for w h a t h a s h a p p e n e d b u t yourself.
14. T h e y w e r e ( t e l l i n g / t a l k i n g ) t h e i r h e a d s off.
15. T h e train w a s ( d e l a y e d / d e t a i n e d ) b y h e a v y snowfalls.
16. A c o m m i s s i o n arrived to ( e x a m i n e / i n s p e c t ) t he newly-
built hospital.
17. S h e is a n u n b a l a n c e d w o m a n and often loses her
(tem per/m ood).
IH, П ш chil dr en t o o k an i m m e d i a t e ( a f f e c t i o n / f a n c y ) to
I heir n e w t e a c h e r .
HI, Ha rd w o r k will not ( d o / m a k e ) you a n y ha rm.
Ю. S h e g a v e to h e r friends w h a t s h e ( r e f u s e d / d e n i e d )
to he r family.
ЙI They ( a d o p t e d / a c c e p t e d ) t h e i nv i ta ti on w it h joy.
\
SHe ( d i v i d e d / s h a r e d ) h e r lunch w i t h me.
M y wo rk is ( m o s t l y / a l m o s t ) finished, it will be all
finished in fifteen m i n u t e s .
Arc you g o i n g t o s p e a k to a n y b o d y ( b e s i d e s / e x c e p t )
him?

25 He s e e m s to h a v e but a ( g e n e r a l f c o m m o n ) idea of
the subject.

’Ii W h e r e did y ou ( l e a r n / s t u d y ) to s p e a k E n g l i s h so
well?
27 By s o m e ( l u c k y / h a p p y ) c h a n c e s h e c a u g h t s i g h t of
him in t h e c r ow d .
28. T h e r e w a s n o t h i n g ( m o r e / e l s e ) left for t h e m b u t wai t.
29. T h e a m b u l a n c e will arri ve w it hi n t e n m i n u t e s to t a k e
t h e ( s i c k / i l l ) m a n to t h e hospital.
30. H t h e r e is a ( v a c a n t / e m p t y ) s e a t in t h e box y ou m a y
t a k e it.
31. P u t on s o m e t h i n g w a r m . You are ( t r e m b l i n g / s h a k ­
i n g ) w i t h cold.
32. Absence of m o ne y made things extremely ( a w k w a r d / c l u m ­
s y ) for him,
33. All t h e r el at io ns ( e x c e p t / b e s i d e s ) t h e y o u n g e r son
w e r e p r e s e n t at t h e family re un ion .

34. Is s h e ( y e t / s t i l l ) w a i t i n g for him in t h e hall?

35. H e t o o k g r e a t (e ffo rts/ pains) t o s u c c e e d in his
business.

9
36. T h e boy w a s told by his m o t h e r n o t to ( l e n d / b o r r o w )
m o n e y from his p l a y m a t e s .
37. T h e child w a s t a u g h t to (solve/decide) his o wn
p r ob le ms .
38. M a y I ( o f f e r / s u g g e s t ) you a c u p of te a ?
39. T h e s o u p t a s t e s ( w e l l / g o o d ) .
40. Looking t h rough the old magazi nes I ( c a m e a c r o s s / m e t )
an e x t r e m e l y i n t e r e s t i n g article on t h e topic.
41. The b e au t if u l p i c tu r e ( d r e w / a t t r a c t e d ) o u r a t t e n t i o n .
42. It h a s j u s t b ee n ( a n n o u n c e d / d e c l a r e d ) t h a t the m a t c h
will be played on M o n d a y . .
43. Th ey ( p e r s u a d e d / c o n v i n c e d ) m e to act a s I w a s
told.
44 . T h e r e w a s n o b o d y in t h e r o o m but s h e d i d n ’t feel
( l o n e l y / a l o n e ) , m o r e o v e r , she e njoyed it.
45 . J u d g i n g from the p r e p a r a t i o n s a nd g en e ra l e x c i t e m e n t
t h e family w a s ( w a i t i n g f o r / e x p e c t i n g ) g u e s t s .
4 6 . T h e r e is a sma ll ( o p p o r t u n i t y / p o s s i b i l i t y ) оГ s u c c es s .
47. T h e y ( e l e c t / s e l e c t ) m o s t l y m e n to t h e s e n a t e .
4 8 . H o w c an o n e ( h i d e / c o n c e a l ) b ehi nd a legal law?
49. D o n ’t ( h e s i t a t e / d o u b t ) to call m e up a n y ti me.
50. The~city is ( f a m o u s / n o t o r i o u s ) for its m u s e u m s .

B. Prepositions
В -I. In each of th e s e n t e n c e s b e l o w pr e po s iti on s are
e ith er wro ng, r e d u n d e n t or m is s in g. See if you can
spot the errors a nd correct the m.
1. Explain m e t h is rule a ga in, please.
2. He c a m e o v e r a nd a s k e d m e a light.
3. S h e is c o n v i n c e d in his brilliance.

10
 Slit' is s u r p r i se d b y his r e s i g na t io n v e r y m u c h .
i l e a s e r emi nd to m e of p o s t i n g t h e letters.
M y a r g u m e n t s d i d n ’t inf luence on him in t h e least.

I low did t h e y s u c c e e d o v e r c o m i n g all t h e o b s t a c l e s t h a t

had a ri se n?

W h a t a r e Oxf or d a nd C a m b r i d g e f a mo u s of?
I low often do y ou c o n s u l t w i t h t h e dict i o na ry ?
К). I have m e n t i o n e d a b o u t it to t h e boss.
II 1 h at e m a k i n g s p e e c h e s on public m e e t i n g s .
W h a t h av e y ou b e e n d o i n g from last S u n d a y ?
13. A light w a s c o m i n g a c r o s s t h e w i n do w .
W h a t is t h e s a r c o p h a g u s m a d e from?
15. I t hi n k I ’ll p u t t h e d e s k before t h e w ind ow ,
lb, I live half of a mile from here.
17 S h e g o t m a r r i ed w it h a builder.
18. Pl e a se , listen his r e m a r k s a tt e nt iv e ly .
19. S h e is v e r y kind w i t h me .
20, It all d e p e n d s w h a t m o n e y is m e a n t for.
21, H e had a fear a n d r e s p e c t for his father.
22, J i m m y is identical t o his b r ot he r .
23. M y j ob is s i mi la r w i t h y ou r s .
24. He w a s e x a m i n e d b y t h e draft board a nd fit t o service.
25, T h e sai l or w a s in s e a r c h for a d v e n t u r e .
К II, P r e p o s it i o n s in fif tee n out of t h e f o ll o w i n g
t w e n t y - l i v e s e n t e n c e s are wrong. See if y o u can find
th em and correct the mistakes.
1. D o n ’t lit a n g r y w it h his silence.
2. Yon s hould n e v e r give advice to t h o s e w h o n e v e r ask
a b o u t it.
3. T h e taxi arri ved at th e a irport on time.
4. W h o do y ou s a y is good in a r g u i n g ?
5. I t ’s a pity y o u d i d n ’t c o m e to m y h o u s e at m y bi rthday.
6. H e is still wi t h t h e s a m e Uni ve rsi ty .
7. H e did it on his o w n a c c o u n t .
8. W h a t kind of job had you on min d?
9. C o n c e i t e d people often t ry to look s u p e r i o r to o t he rs .
10. Do t h e y still live in the s a m e s t r e e t ?
11. P le a se , d o n ’t p a y a t t e n t i o n on m y wor ds .
12. E v e r y b o d y felt s t r a n g e l y a t t r a c t e d to her.
13. W h a t h a v e you d on e wit h y o u r hair?
14. H e had a p r o fo u n d in t e r es t in a nd a wi de k n o w l e d g e of
books.
15. A s h or t r e s t w ou l d do to y ou a lot оГ good.
16. P e a c e is pr ef e ra bl e t h a n war .
17. T h e idea o r ig i na t e d w i t h Edison.
18. D o n ’t be a n g r y at e ac h other.
19. C a e s a r w a s a c o n t e m p o r a r y wi th B r u t u s .
20. He suffefed from the heat but n e v e r t h e l e s s s t a y e d long
in t h e s u n .
21. S h e said y e s on his proposal.
22. W h e n all w e r e d r es s e d for th e o c c asi on, t h e p a r t y w as
called off.

12
’i D o n 't forget yo u o w e to m e fifteen c e n ts .

1 1 W h a t p r o b l e m s a r e a t t h e f o r e f r o n t in y o u r j o b a t p r e s e n t ?

!R Го a p p r e c i a t e it y o u m u s t s e e it b y y o u r s e l f .

( . T ense and Voice Forms

( (s Are you r ea dy for yo ur test in the, correct usa ge
ol verbs at va rio u s points of ten se and voi ce in w h ic h
the action of a verb m a y take place ? The s e n t e n c e s
below have w r o n g t e n s e a nd voice forms. Spot the
e r r o r s a nd make the n e c e ss a r y c or rec tio ns.
I I k n o w her for a l on g ti me.
II I h av e a c a r t h i n g s w o u l d be fine.
I w as r i ng i n g t h e bell six ti mes.
I T h e taxi s hould arrive at 8. 30, b u t it d i d n ’t t u r n up.
i h a v e n ' t s e e n him at four o ’clock.
This p r o p e r t y is b e l o n g i n g t o me .
7, He said he s ho ul d be g r at ef ul if I will help him.
В I l ave y ou to w o r k so late?

9 He w a s n ’t e x a c t l y a s t r a n g e r — I h a v e m e t him o nc e
before.
10. M y u n cl e s u g g e s t e d m e t o g e t a job in a bank.
I t ’s t h r e e m o n t h s s in ce I have s e e n him last.
I wi sh w e d i d n ’t ask him to o u r party.
13. He m i g h t c o m e if it did n ot rain.

M. For a long time t he y cured this disease wi th ou t a n y result.

15 A w i s e s t a t e s m a n buil ds u p o n t h e p a s t b u t n o t o v e r ­
t u r n i n g it.
Iti. V e r y few p eo pl e h ave s w a m t he En gl i s h C h a n n e l .
I h ave n e v e r drove s u c h a c o m f o r t a bl e car.

13
18. I n e v e r t h o u g h t he will h a v e t h e n e r ve to do it.
19. 1 a m s u r e he wou ld h a v e d o n e it if he had th e t ime.
20. H e w a s d i sc ove re d to e m b e z z l e te n t h o u s a n d dollars.

21. It h a s a l w a y s been m y de sir e t o h a ve s e e n you.

22. P e r h a p s he wo ul d tell t h e t r u t h if y ou a s k him.
23. I a m afraid I h av e b it te n m o r e t h a n I c o ul dWh ew .
24. H i t l e r h a s s t a r t e d W o r l d W a r II in 1939.
25. I shall e a t t h e j u i cy s t e a k b y t h e t i m e t h e d e s s e r t is
brought.

C -II. F i f t e e n o u t of t h e f o l l o w i n g t w e n t y - f i v e
s e n t e n c e s a r e g r a m m a t i c a l l y w r o n g . F i n d w h i c h of
the sentences are incorrect a n d m ake the necessary
alterations.
; 1. S h e is died in a c ar -c rash.
2. S h e lost h e r m o n e y a n d I w a s n ’t s u r p r i s e d t h a t s h e had
d o n e so.
3. H e h a s p la ye d t h e violin e v e r y d a y from t h e a g e of five.
4. H e w a s u se d to eat out e v er y day, bu t n o w he c a n ’t afford it.
5. H e d e m a n d s t h a t t he job be d o n e at once.
6. He h a s n ’t e a t e n for days, bu t he looked s t r o n g a nd healthy.
7. H a s t h e r a ce p o s t p o n e d ?
8. T h e d i s c o v e ry has b e e n m a d e in t h e s i x t e e n t h c e n t u r y .
9. W i l l j o u fee s p e a k i n g to t h e b o s s t o d a y ?
10. T h e j u d g e i nsisted t h a t t h e w i t n e s s tell t h e t r u t h .
11. H e s p o k e to m e as if he h a d been deaf.
12. I d ec la re t h e m e e t i n g closed.
13. Is it possibl e t h a t the r a i lw a ys will i m p r o v e ?

14
; i I've boon i n t e r e s t e d in s p a c e t r a v e l e v e r s in ce I had read
a book a b o u t it.
I ■ T o mo r r ow J e a n a nd Ken will h a v e b ee n m a r r i e d t w e n t y
years.
H a ve y ou to g e t up e ar l y e v e r y m o r n i n g ?
i S h e is w o r k i n g late t hi s w e e k .
I s t a y e d while t he m e e t i n g lasted.
1 The figures ar e w r o n g . You d o n ’t s e e m to e x a m i n e t h e m .
’<) B e i n g a m a n of fixed v i ew s, he r ef us ed t o listen to o ur
arguments.
T he play w a s silly so Linda w a s boring.
N o b o dy w a s w a t c h i n g me , w e r e t h e y ?
I hear d h im w e n t d o w n t h e st airs.
'I I le h u r t himself.
'!i I look f or war d to h e a r from you.

I), S y n t a c t i c a l C o m p o s i t i o n
l)-l. Here is a list of s e n t e n c e s the c o m p o s i t i o n of
which is g r a m m a t i c a l l y w r o n g w i t h n at iv e speakers.
Itcwrite ea ch s e n t e n c e so as to buil d it i n to a clear
and logical unit.
I . I w a n t a c h e c k b oo k to p r e s e n t to m y b oy friend t h a t folds
in t h e middle.
W a t c h i n g a m y s t e r y d r a m a on m y t el e vi si on s e t, t he
m u r d e r e d m a n lay c r u m p l e d on t h e sidewal k.
b Whil e t aking, a s h o w e r , t h e t e l e p h o n e rang.

I E lect ed, m a n y r e f o r m s will be i n t r od u ce d .

b A f a m o u s biologist, w h o had u n s u c c e s s f u l l y tried to t e a c h
a m o n k e y t o p la y ball, a nd w h o d ec id e d as a l as t r es u lt to
leave t h e little a n i ma l alone in a r o o m w i t h a ba t a nd a
ball. H e cl osed t h e door, w a i t e d a m o m e n t , a nd t h e n, v er y

15
 q u i e t l y , s t o o p e d and p ee re d t h r o u g h t h e keyhole. H e
lou nd h i ms e l f s t a r i n g i nto an i n t e n t b r o w n eye. T h e
m o n k e y w a s no less c u ri o u s t h a n he.
T he w o r s t t h i n g a b o u t h is tor y e v e r y t i me it r e p e a t s itself
t h e price g o e s up.
7. To insure a long life, observed Dr. Adolf Lorenz, be mode ra te
in all t h i n g s , b u t d o n ’t m i s s a n y t hi n g .
8. A picnic is w h e n peopl e e at h a m a nd e g g a nd m o s q u i t o
sandwiches.
9. W a n t e d — a m a n to w o r k on a P e n n s y l v a n i a D u t c h farm,
to t a k e c a r e o f c h i c k e n s , c o w s a n d pigs w h o c an s p e a k
German.
10. S h e w o r e a d r e s s t h a t t h e s t r i p e s m a d e h er look like a
st i c k of C h r i s t m a s c a nd y .
11. S h e a s k e d h e r b r o t h e r could s h e b o rr o w his car.
12 S p e e d i n g at 6 0 miles, t w o p e d e s t r i a n s w e r e hit by t h e
car.
13. W a n t e d — a b oy to del iver t e l e g r a m s t h a t ca n ride on a
bicycle.
14. T h e y d a r e n o t s p e a k for t h e fallen a nd t h e w e a k , a fear
w h i c h m a k e s t h e m slaves.
15. H e t estified t h a t t h e b u s had r u n into him a nd t h r o w n
him d o w n in t h e c o u r t h ous e .

D-II. Ten ou t of the following fifteen sentences are

sy nt ac tic a lly wrong, so th e ir m e a n i n g is obscure.
Correct thos e of the following sen tences t h a t are
wrong.
«
1. T h e difference b e t w e e n t h e r ig ht w o r d and t he a l m o s t
right w or d , said M a r k T wa in, is t h e difference b e t w e e n the
l i g h t n i n g a nd t he l i g h t n i n g bug.
2. H e w a s a b oy s c o u t , said Bob H a w k , until he w a s 16, a nd
t h e n b e c o m i n g a h u nt e r.

16
 I l l i i n k y o u h a v e n ’t s e e n m y w i f e .

i I h r .1 1 1 к -ripr m a n , said C o n f uc i u s, is kind to his friends

rind just to his e n e m i e s .
!i A t o r n a d o is w h e r e a whirl wind b l o w s u n d e r a funnel
•.Imped cloud.
11 He w a s so e x h a u s t e d t h a t he w e n t to sleep.
1 M a n y of us, said A l e x a n d e r W o o l c o t t , s p e n d half o ur
l ime w i s h i n g for t h i n g s w e could h a v e if w e d i d n ’t spend
half o u r t i m e w i s h i n g .
N I l o w e v e r m u c h a d v i ce w e give him, he still d o e s e xa ct ly
w h at he w a n t s .
‘I Si n c e k n o w i n g t h e a n s w e r , w h y d i d n ’t you s p e a k up?
10 If w e n e e d w h a t it is p l e n t y оГ ti me.
II G l i t t e r i n g in t h e s u n , the a i r s h i p looked like a silver
bird.
I ' T he P r i n c e s s m e t t h e P r e s i d e n t w e a r i n g a red dr ess.
I к I l o w w e r e a c h e d I s t a nb u l w a s by train.
PI. H a v i n g b ee n built for o n e family, t h e h o u s e had to bo
r e mo d el l e d into t w o a p a r t m e n t s .
lb. W h o m e t u s w a s t h e a m b a s s a d o r .

Section 2. Phrasal Verbs

A. I l l u s t r a t i v e C o n t e x t s
Л c o n s id e r a b l e n u m b e r of En g li s h verbs have a vast
s p e c t r u m of m e a n i n g s w h e n t h e y t a k e d i f f e r e n t
pre pos iti ons . S t u d y the e x a m p le s b e l o w carefully.

lo do
The d e p a r t m e n t w a s d o ne a w a y with t w o y e a r s ago. (The
d e p a r t m e n t w a s a bo l is h ed t w o y e a rs ago) .

17
T he d i n i n g r o o m n e e d s d o i n g over. ( The d i n i n g r oom n e e d s
decorating).

A g oo d e m p l o y e r a l wa ys does wel l by good w o r k m e n . ( H e

is t r e a t e d well by his w o r k m e n ) .
Old M r s . G r e e n ha s been d o i n g f o r h i m si nce his wife died.
( S h e h a s been p e r f o r m i n g d o m e s t i c s e r v ic e s for him).
Pl ea se do up t h e s e b oo k s a nd p o s t t h e m to M r . R o g e r s .
( Pl e as e , r e s to r e t h e s e books and p o s t t h e m ) .
I co u l d d o w i t h a c u p оГ t ea. (A c u p of te a will be all r i ght ) .
W e shall have to d o w i t ho u t a holiday t hi s s u m m e r . (We
shall h a v e to m a n a g e w i t h o u t a holiday).

to m ake
A balloon s e e m e d to be m a k i n g f o r an Airforce s t a t io n . (It
s e e m e d to be tr av e ll in g t o w a r d s a n Ai rforce s t a t i on ) .
He could ma k e out t h r e e m e n a t t h e d i s t a n c e . ( H e could
d i s t i n gu i s h t h r e e m e n at t h e d i s t a n c e) .
I coul d not m a k e o u t w h a t he said. (I c oul d n ot u n d e r s t a n d ) .
Pl e a s e , m a k e ou t a fresh copy. ( P l e a s e , w r i t e a n o t h e r o ne ).
W h a t a re t h e q u a li t i e s that ma k e up H a m l e t ’s c h a r a c t e r ?
( W h a t ar e t h e q u a l it ie s t h a t form H a m l e t ’s c h a r a c t e r ? )
W h y d o n ’t you m a k e it up? ( W h y d o n ’t y ou p u t an e n d to
this m i s u n d e r s t a n d i n g w i t h her ?)
T he b a s e m e n t h a s b ee n m a d e o v e r into a w o r k s h o p . (It has
been c h a n g e d into a w o r k s h o p ) .
Sh e s p e n d s h ou rs m a k i n g up in front of t h e mirror. ( S h e
s p e n d s h o u r s u s i n g c o s m e ti c s) .
I m u s t m a k e - u p for the t i me I lost this m o r n i ng . (I m u s t
c o m p e n s a t e t h e t i me I lost this m o r n i n g ) .

to g o
H e is g o i n g out w i t h t hat Polish girl n ow. ( H e is of ten s e e n
w i t h t h e girl in public).

18
(in about y o ur o w n bu sin ess ! (Deal wi th y o u r o w n affairs),
IJ® г-, g o i n g a f t e r t h a t p r e t t y girl r a i l e d S a r a h . ( H e is t r y i n g
In W in her affection).
IIи■V W&M oi e a c h o t h e r furiously. ( T h e y r u s h e d a t e ac h
other).
Hi nt 's a good rule to g o by. ( T h a t is t h e rule to be g ui de d
by)
ll all g o e s d o w n in his n o t e b o o k . (It is w r i t t e n in his n o t e ­
book ).
I hut e x pl a n a t i o n w o n ’t g o d o w n well w i th m e . (It w o n ’t be
a cc e p t e d or a p p r o v e d by me ) .

( h e pistol d i d n' t g o off. ( T h e pistol did n ot e xpl ode, fire).

The g o o d s w e n t o f f q u i ck l y . ( T h e y w e r e g o t rid of by sale).
W h a t ’s g o i n g on t h e r e ? ( W h a t ’s t a k i n g place t h e re ? ).
L e t ’s g o on to t h e n e x t i tem on t h e a g e n d a . ( L e t ’s p ro ce e d
lo the n e x t i te m) .
lit> on w i t h y o u r w or k . ( C o n t i n u e y o u r w or k) .
f he firm will g o u n de r u n l e s s b u s i n e s s i mp r ov e s. ( Th e firm
will b e c o m e b a n k r u p t u n l e s s b u s i n e s s i m p r o v e s ) .
1'hese n e w c u r t a i n s d o n ’t g o w e l l with t h e rug. ( Th e c u r t a i n s
d o n ’t m a t c h t he rug).

lo g iv e

Don’t g i v e a w a y m y s e c r et . ( D o n ’t reveal m y s e c r e t to
anybody).
T he rebels w e r e forced to g i v e in. ( T h e y w e r e forced to
s u r r en de r , s ub m i t) .
P l e a s e , g i v e in y o u r e x a m i n a t i o n pa pe rs . ( P l e a s e , h and over
y o u r pa pe r s) .

O u r food suppl i es b e g a n to g i v e out. ( O u r food s up pl i e s

c a m e to an end).

19
T he n e w c o m e r g a v e himself out to be th e son o f .C h a rl e s .
( H e a n n o u n c e d h ims el f to be C h a r l e s ' son).
F u r t h e r s t r u g g l e w a s u s e l es s , so I g a v e up. ( S o I a b a n d o n e d
t h e a t t e m p t to s t r u g g l e a n y l onger).

T he child is incorrigible, e v e n t h e t e a c h e r s have g i v e n h i m

up. ( E v e n t he t e a c h e r s have deci ded he c a n n o t be r ef o r me d) .

to get
T he door w a s locked and I. c o u l d n ’t g e t out. (I c o u l d n ’t
leave t h e r oom) .
H o w is he g e t t i n g on in his n e w j ob? ( W h a t ’s his p r o g r e s s
in t he n e w job?).
Get on with y o u r w o r k . ( C o n t i n u e y o u r w o r k) .
H e is difficult to g e t o n wi th. (It is difficult to be on good
t e r m s wi th him).
T o m w'as p un i sh e d, b u t J i m g o t o f f lightly. ( J i m e s c a p e d
punishment).
I c a n ’t g e t t h e lid of f . (I c a n ’t r e m o v e t he lid).
H e ha s n o w g o t o v e r his illness. ( H e ha s r e c o v er ed ) .
I see w h a t you are g e t t i n g at. (I se e w h a t you m e a n to
say).
I w a n t to g e t t h r o u g h t h i s a r t i c l e a s q u i c k l y a s p o s s i b l e .
(I w a n t to finish it a s s o o n a s possible).
She g o t t hrough h e r e x a m s in J u n e . ( S h e s u c c e e d e d in
p a s s i n g her e x a m s ) .
T h ey soon got t h e fire under . ( T h e y s o o n cont r ol led t h e
fire): -e
D o n ’t let this w r e t c h e d w e a t h e r ge t you d o w n . ( D o n ' t let
t he w e a t h e r d e p r e s s you).
T h e y g o t o f f i m m e d i a t e l y after b re ak fa st . ( T h e y s t a r t e d (set
off) s t r a i g h t af ter b r e a kf a st ) .

20
I»» keep
II' kepi On offeri ng rne c i g a r e t t e s . ( H e c o n t i n u e d offering
ми' i ignrolt es).
I'll ,i ,r keep off the g r a s s . ( P l e a s e , do not wa lk on it).

lie Miipi a w a y from 1he party. ( H e did not c o m e to t h e

pifty)
I {tiler my e ss ay t he t e a c h e r w r ot e , «Good work! Keep it
up'- ( C o n t i n u e m a k i n g an effort).
I f 1 ran so fast, I c o u l d n ’t keep up with him. (I c o u l d n ’t
r e m ai n beside him, c a t c h lip wi th him).
A big not i ce on t h e d oo r said, «Keep out». ( Do not e n t e r ) .
I In boy w a s kept in a f t e r school. ( H e w a s m a d e to r e ma i n
ifU'i l e s so ns as a p u n i s h m e n t ) .

to c a r r y
P c o p B listened to his advice a n d carried it out. (They followed,
I m p l e m e n t e d his advi ce).
I lliiuk w e c a n c a r r y on w i t h o u t y o u r help. ( W e can c o n t i n u e
Without y o u r help).
I lie a u d i e n c e w a s c o m p l e t e l y car ri ed a w a y by the wo nd er f ul
soloist. ( Th e a u d i e n c e b e c a m e q u i t e e n th u s i a s t i c , w a s g r ea t ly
i m pr e ss e d) .
I'he a c c i d e n t ca r r i ed m e back to m y sc ho ol d ay s . (It t o o k m e
back in t h e m e m o r y to m y s c ho ol d ay s ) .
I o m ca rr ied off all th e school prizes. ( H e wo n all t h e prizes).
he g o v e r n m e n t failed t o c a r r y t h r o u g h t h e bill on
h o u s i n g . (It failed lo p a s s t h e bill, to help it t h r o u g h t h e
difficulties).

Iо c a l l
I lc w a s a s k e d to cal l at the s ta t io n . ( H e w a s asked to c o m e
to the s t a t io n ).

21
H e c a l l e d out to m e , but I did no t h e a r him. ( H e appe al e d to
m e b u t I d i d n ’t h e a r him).
I c a l l e d on Ge org e y e s t e r d a y . (I paid him a s h o r t visit).
S h e will call you up t o m o r r o w . ( S h e will t e l e p h o n e you).

It b e g a n to rain and t h e y called off the ma tc h. (They cancelled

the match).

T h e o c ca s i o n cal ls f or p r o m p t action. ( The occasion d e m a n d s

a p r o m p t a ct ion) .

to set
Alison will s e t out at eight o ’clock. ( S h e will s t a r t he r j o u r n e y
at e i g h t ) .
J i m a n d I set o f f early in t h e m o r n i n g . ( W e will leave early
in t h e m o r n i n g ) .
J a n s e n s et up a n e w world r ecord. ( H e m a d e a n e w world
r ec or d) .
T h e y are g o i n g to set up a n o t h e r c o m m i t t e e . ( T h e y will
e s t ab l i sh a n o t h e r c o m m i t t e e ) .
H e h a s s e t up a book-seller. ( H e w e n t into b u s i n e s s as b o o k ­
seller).

I s e t his s u c c e s s d o w n to h ar d w o r k. (I a t t r i b u t e his s u c c e s s
to h a r d w o r k) .
T h e y r a i ny w e a t h e r ha s s et in. ( T h e ra in y w e a t h e r ha s
s t a r t e d a nd s e e m s likely to c o n t i n u e ) .

to put
H e is n o t itj t he habit of p ut ti ng t h i ng s off. ( H e d o e s n ’t
p o s t p o n e t h i n g s to a l at er t i m e ) .
Sh e put on a g r e y c o a t and a hat. ( S h e d r e s s e d herself in
those things).

Will y ou put out t he light, please. (Will you s w i t c h off t h e

light, please).
Mir pu b l is h e rs put out fifty n e w t e x t b o o k s last year . ( Th e
p u b l i sh e rs p r o d u c e d fifty n e w t e x t b o o k s ) .
I w a nt to be p u t through to t he hotel. (I w a n t you to place
■iк 1 1 1 t e l e p h o n e c o n v e r s a t i o n ) .
I ( 1 1 1 ГI put this a nd t h a t t ogether. (I c a n ’t uni te this and
ili.il t o g e t h e r ) .
I h r у vc p u t up t h e r e n t from 2 5 0 to 2 55 . ( T h e y h av e raised
(he rent).

I l r w a s l u c ky to p u t up at a r e a s o n ab l e hotel. ( H e m a n a g e d
to '.ettle in a fairly c h e a p hotel).
Next y e a r t h e y will put on «King Lear». ( T h e y are g o i n g to
stage «King Lear»).
I l ear ned to p ut up with his bad t e m p e r . (I l ear ned to s t a n d
Ins bad t e m p e r ) .

It. P r a c t i c e

In this test as you are g o i n g th r ou gh each s e n t e n c e

c hec k if y o u ’ve got the phrasal verbs practised above
firmly f ix e d in your min d. C o n su lt Part A of this
s e ct i o n or t h e key for reference.
1 He c o m p l a i n s t h a t he has b ee n badl y done. .. .
2 I find it e x h a u s t i n g h a v i n g t h e h o u s e done. . . .

3. S h e h a s b e e n d o i n g ... he r last s u m m e r ’s hat.

I. I t h i nk w e c an do ... t w o .extra staff m e m b e r s today.
I) 1 le w o n ’t e m p l o y a hous ekeeper ; he prefers to do ... himself,
li T h a t ’s a p r a c t i c e t h a t s houl d be d o n e ... wi th.
7. He c a n ’t do ... the s e rv ic e s of a s e c r e t a r y .
S. I lost m y l e c tu r e n o t e s and I had to m a k e ... a new' set.

'* I c a n ’t m a k e ... w h a t y o u ’ve w r i t t e n .

10. H o w c a n y ou m a k e ... all t h e l e c t u r e s you mi ss ed.

I I. You c a n ’t m a k e ... a p e r s o na l it y in o n e day.

23
12. W h e n it g o t d a r k we m a d e ... h o m e .

13 T he y q ua rr el e v e r y m o r n i n g and m a k e it ... in the e vening.

14. M y d a u g h t e r often m a k e s ... a nd I c a n ’t s t op it.

15. H e ’s g o n e ... a new' job in a foreign firm.

16. I t ’s n ot a l w a y s n i ce to go ... a p p e a r a n c e s .
17. T h e n e w t e a c h e r d o e s n ’t go ...well wi th his pupils.
18. H e ’ll go ... in h i s t o r y as a g r e a t s t a t e s m a n .
19. T h e y wrere g o i n g ... t he j ob for all t h e y w e r e wmrth,
m a k i n g t h e u t m o s t possi bl e effort lo do t h e wo r k.
20. This new' mo de l w o n ’t g o ... well.
21. T h i n g s are g o i n g .. m u c h as usual.
22. T he g u n w e n t ... by a cc ide nt .
23. How' m u c h l o n g e r will t hi s h ot w e a t h e r go ... ?
24. I m u s t go ... s e t t l i n g o u r finances.
25. Do you t h i nk this ha t g o e s ... t h e c o a t?
26. I a m s ur e t h e s e i n c en ti ve s will go ...with the m a n a g e m e n t .
27. Is y o u r s on stil! g o i n g ... w i t h S t ell a?

28. S t o p g o i n g ... e v e r y b o d y ' s b u s i ne s s.

29. H e r p a t i e n c e g a v e . . at last.
30. I c a n ’t sol ve t h i s p uz zl e. I give ... .
31. T he d o c t o r s h a v e gi ve n hi m ..., t h e y s a y t h e y c a n n o t
c u r e him.
32. He has g iv e n ... to m y a r g u m e n t s .

33. His a qpe nt g a v e hi m ... .

34. T he s t u d e n t s w'ere told to give t h e i r e s s a y s ... by t h e
■end of t h e l ess on.
35. It w'as gi ven ... t h a t M r . Hall w o u l d be t h e chief s p e a k e r .
36. W e w'ere a dvi sed to ge t ... h o m e a s soon as possible.
 Don' t w o r r y a b o u t us, w e ’ll get. ... s o m e h o w .
IH I hive d a n g e r o u s c r i m i n a l s h a v e g o t ......... prison.
S9 I he n e w m a n a g e r is e a s y to g e t ............

II) He n e v e r g o t ... his financial losses.

11 As soon as I g e t ... m y w o r k i ’ll join you.
I ‘ M’s e a s y for m e to g e t ... w h a t y ou m e a n .
I l VVIiat platform does the* 10. 35. train from M o s c o w ge t ?
II He got ... wi th a light s e n t e n c e .
i I low is he g o i n g ... t h e s e days.
lo I he p r e s e n t s t a t e of t h i n g s g e t s m e ... .
I/ file revolt w a s s o on g ot ... .
If i t h i n k he k ep t ......... t h e m e e t i n g on p u r p o s e .
Ш Keep ... t he floor. I h a v e just finished s c r u b b i n g it.
0 H e ha s j u s t b e g u n a diary. I w o n d e r h o w l o n g lie will
'I keep it ... .
I le k e p t ... m a k i n g t h e s a m e m i st a ke .
We k e e p Ti m ........... t h e r o om b e c a u s e B e t t y lias gol
m e a sl e s.
M o s t p eo pl e s p e n d t h e i r lives t r y i n g to k e e p their
neighbours.
Three chi l dr en w e r e k ep t ... y e s t e r d a y a f t e r n o o n b e c a u s e
I h e y had m i s b e h a v e d d u r i n g t h e m u s i c lesson.
5!) i fe w a s c ar r ie d ... by her c h a r m .
iili in so far a n y i n q u i r y is a s e c r e t o ne , it n a t u r a l l y limit
all t h o s e e n g a g e d in c a r r y i n g it ... .
5/ H a v i n g m a d e a p r o m is e , you m u s t c a r r y it ...

58. R is ing c o s t s m a d e it har d to c a r r y ... t h e b u s i n e s s .

!>'.) Let m e c a r r y y ou ... to t he d a y s w h e n w e first met .
III) He carri ed ... t h e c o n t e s t v e r y cleverly.
61 . I i n f o r m e d h i m t h a t his i n s t r u c t i o n s c o u l d n o t be
c a r r i e d ... .
62. I’ve n e v e r s e t my s el f ... a s p e a k e r .
63. G o to t h e d e n t i s t before t h e d e c a y of t h e t e e t h g e t s ...
64. H e s w a m a c r o s s t h e Engli sh C h a n n e l a n d set ... a n e w
world record.
65. C h e s w i c k W o m e n ' s Aid C o m m i t t e e is g o i n g to be set ...
66. I set m y ' s u c c e s s ... to a m e r e c h a n c e .
67. T h e y ’ve s e t ... on a j o u r n e y r o u n d t h e world.
68. I called y ou ... five t i m e s y e s t e r d a y . W e r e you out ?
69. I t ' s too late to go to t h e p i c t ur e s. W h y d o n ’t w e call the
wTiole t h i n g ... ?
70. W e called ... t o him b ut he l ook no n o t i c e of us.
7 1 . 1 called ... t h e post-office on m y w a y to w o r k .
72. You m u s t t a k e s u c h s t e p s as s e e m called ... .
73 You m u s t p u t ... y o u r d o u b t s a n d fears.
74. H e r m o d e s t y is all pu t ... .
75. T h e police p ut him ... a s e v e r e e x a m i n a t i o n .
76. W e c a n n o t p u t y ou ... for t h e w e e k - e n d .
77. T h e r e ar e m a n y i n c o n v e n i e n c e s t h a t h a v e to be p u t ........
w’hen you are c a m p i n g .
78. T he H e a l t h D e p a r t m e n t ha s p u t ... a w a r n i n g a ga ins t
d a n g e ro u s drugs.
79. I j u s t p u t m y t h o u g h t s ... before t a k i n g t h e floor.

80. S h e tfied to p u t m e ... wi th v a g u e p r o m i s e s .

Read (lie nex t paragraphs. If there is a n y t h i n g you
do not u n d e r s t a n d , e it h e r use a good d i c ti o n a r y or
go to your te a c h e r for hetp.

TO END UP WITH
E v e r y t h i n g s e e m s to be g o i n g up t h e s e days. Pr i ce s arc
going up, a nd t h a t m a k e s t h e c os t of living g o up. Th o s e
people w h o s e w a g e s a n d s alar ies g o up a re f or tu n a te ; t hey
i .in m a n a g e , p e r h a p s , to k e e p up wi th ri si ng c os ts .
P o p u l a t i o n s a re g o i n g up, too, a n d if t h e wor ld b e c o m e s
n v n c r o w d e d , t h e re m a y be mo re w ar s. Then, w h e n the atomic
b o m b s drop, e v e r y t h i n g will g o u p in s m o k e a n d d u st , a nd it
will be all u p wi t h civilization.
We m u s t n ot give u p hope, h o w e v e r . Let u s c h e e r up, and
not look onl y on t h e d a r k side. E v e n t h o u g h t r o u b l e s pile up,
good f o rt u n e will t u r n u p o c ca s iona ll y. S e r v a n t s m a y leave
so I hat w e h av e to w a s h u p a ft er o u r m e a l s , b ut w e m a y
Kill, w h e n t h e wmrk is d o n e , be able t o p u t o u r feet up for a
lew m i n u t e s .
We m a y , w h e n w e g o o u t in t h e car, find t h e r o a d s up, or so
bad t h a t o u r t y r e s g o flat a n d h av e to be p u m p e d up. Yel,
whe n w e g e t h o m e , w e m a y p e r h a p s enjoy, if w e sit u p late, a"
wonderful b r o a d c a s t of a n o p e ra from M i l a n or R o m e . T h i n g s
do look u p s o m e t i m e s .
Life is full of u p s a nd dov/ns, W e m a y feel d e p r e s s e d a nd fed
Up now, but good luck will t u r n up again soon. So, o n c e again,
c h e e r up.
«O x f o r d P r o g r e s s i v e E n gl i sh
F o r A d u l t L e a r n e r s » by S. H o r n b y

Section 3. Humour Through Erring

A. Humour: A L in g u istic Approach
The p r ev i o u s c h a p t e r s deal wi th g r a m m a t i c a l r eg ul a ri tie s, or
r a t h e r i r re gu l ar i ti es t h a t coul d help t h e l e a r n e r of Engl is h
to b r u s h u p his g r a m m a r a n d his v o c a b u l a r y a s well as
m e m o r i z e t h e m o s t f r eq u e n t l y u se d p hr as al ver bs.
In t h i s c h a p t e r w e will t r y to s h o w h o w g r a m m a t i c a l
i rr eg u l ar it ie s, p o l y s e m y of w o r d s , s t r u c t u r a l h o m o n y m y of
s e n t e n c e s , e t c a lt er t h e m e a n i n g of a s e n t e n c e or u t t e r a n c e ,
m a k i n g it a m b i g u o u s a n d t h u s c r e a l i n g a h u m o r o u s effect.
H u m o u r m u s t s u r e l y h ave s o m e u n d e r l y i n g f u n d a m e n t a l
p r i nc i pl e s. T h e y c o n s i s t s of specific linguistic p h e n o m e n a
t h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t b e i n g t h e a b s e n c e of o n e - t o - o n e
c o r r e s p o n d e n c e b e t w e e n form and m e a ni n g. - T ha t is t h e main
s o u r c e of a m b i g u i t y , t he m o s t g en er al l a n g u a g e p h e n o m e n o n
u n d e r l y i n g t h e m a j o r i t y of linguistically based jok es. The
a m b i g u i t y of a s e n t e n c e a ll ows o n e lo i n t e r p re t it in a s e n s e
different from t h a t w h i c h w a s originally m e a n t t h u s c r e a t i n g
a h u m o r o u s effect.
S o o u r a im t h e n is to t r y to explain the h u m o r o u s effect of
a joke from the linguistic point of view.
To t hi s e n d w e will first of all t ry to gi ve a s h o r t s u m m a r y of
the st r uct ur al and transformational approach to the funct ioni ng
of a l a n g u a g e w hi c h will help you to follow o u r e x p l a n a t i o n s
a nd a r g u m e n t s .

1. T w o K i n d s of M e a n i n g s
Fi r s t of all r e g a r d i n g t h e s e n t e n c e w e need to d is t in g ui sh
s h a r p l y at least t w o kinds of m e a n i n g s in its overall m e a n i n g :
t h e lexical m e a n i n g s of s e p a ra t e w o r d s and s tr uc t ur al m e a n i n g
of t h e wh o l e s e n t e n c e .
Fo r e x a m p l e , we m a y k n o w th e m e a n i n g of t he following
w o rd s : ‘the.’, ‘t r a i n s ’ a nd ‘s e a l s ’ . B u t we d o n ’t g e t a s e n t e n c e
m e a n i n g from t h e s e w o r d s until we h av e a r r a n g e d t h e m in
som e pattern.
( 1) H e t r ai n s t h e s e a ls '.
If w e a r r a n g e t h e m in different p a t t e r n s , w e g e t a different
meaning.

* These and many other examples are borrower] from books on linguistics
by N. Chomsky, Ch. Filmore, Ch. Fries, P Roberts, K. Pike, E. Keenan,
E. Nida, etc.

28
О
( ’) I le s eals the trains.
I h r wo rd s ‘t r a i n s ’ and ‘s e a l s ’ are different in m e a n i n g b e ca u se
I hr у o c c u r d i f f e r e n t l y in t h e p a t t e r n s . W e a r e abl e to
u n d e r s t a n d w h a t t h e s e n t e n c e s m e a n chiefly b e c a u s e w e are
I b le to r ec o g n iz e Ibe p a t t e r n .
NbW, l e t ’s c o n si d er an e x a m p l e of h o w a h u m o r o u s si tu at io n
I I i i r a t e d due to t h e a m b i g u i t y of t he s e n t e n c e p a t t e rn .
I ;) — But you said s h e s a n g beautifully
— No, I d i d n ’t.
— W h a t did you say?
•— I said s he w a s a beautiful s inge r.

Im m ediate C o n stitu en ts (IC )

I hr IC an a ly si s m a k e s it possibl e to e xp l ic at e the s y n t a c t i c
I I и с I u re of a s e n t e n c e . N o w , s u p p o s e you s a w a headline
With I hes e words:
I I) Army Demands Change
I his s e n t e n c e ha s t w o possible m e a n i n g s . It ca n m e a n ( 4 i )
Mi ll t h e a r m y w a n t s , to h av e a c h a n g e or ( 4 ii) t ha t th e
d e m a n d s of th e a r m y have c h a n g e d . T h e t ro u b l e is t hal
d e m a n d s ’ c a n be e i t h e r a v e rb o r a n ou n and in this s e n t e n c e
I h r s y n t a c t i c s t r u c t u r e is a m b i g u o u s , wh i ch m a y be s h o w n
by t h e IC analysis.
( li) Army (demands change)
i i n) (Army demands) change

I ,el ’s h a v e a n o t h e r e x a m p l e to s e e h o w t h e IC a n a l ys is
m a k e s c l e ar the s y n t a c t i c s t r u c t u r e of a s e n t e n c e .
(!>) T h e police s hot ( t he m a n in t h e red cap).
(8) T h e poli ce-((shot th e m a n ) in the right h an d )
N o w s e e h o w s uc h a m b i g u i t y is reflected in a joke.
(7) N e v e r hit a m a n wit h g la s se s .
(7i) N e v e r hit (a m a n with g l a s se s ).
( N e v e r hit a m a n w e a r i n g g la ss es ) .
(7ii) N e v e r (hit a m a n ) w i t h gl as ses .
( N e v e r hit a m a n u s i n g g l a s se s ).
Let us c o n s i d e r a n o t h e r c ase, o ne oi C h o m s k y ’s m o s t f a mo u s
e x a m p l e s , t h e p h r a s e ‘flying p l a n e s ’ (in a s e n t e n c e s u c h as
‘F l y i n g p l a ne s c a n be d a n g e r o u s ) wh i c h is a m b i g u o u s for
m u c h t h e s a m e r e a s on a s in t h e p r e v i o u s e x a m p l e s : u n d e r
o n e i n t e r p r e t a t i o n ‘flying p l a n e s ' is rel ated to a s e n t e n c e in
wh ic h ‘p l a n e s is t h e s u b j e c t of ‘fly’ or ‘a re flying’, u n d e r the
o t h e r it is r el at ed to a s e n t e n c e in w h i c h ‘p l a n e s ’ is the
o b j e ct of ‘fly’ ( C f .: P l a n e s fly vs. J o h n flies p la n e s ).
Cf. ( 8) a n d ( 9 ) w h e r e t h e s e n t e n c e is « di s am b i g u a t e d » .
( 8) ( Fl y i n g ( ( p l a n e s ) ( a re d a n g e r o u s ) )
( 9) ( ( F l y i n g p l an e s ) (is d a n g e r o u s )
H e r e is a classical e x a m p l e h o w c o m p l i c a t i o n s c a n pile u p* .
(10) p r e t t y little g i r l s ’ school
T he ar e five possible m e a n i n g s in this c o ns t r u c t i o n , d e p e n d i n g
on w h a t t h e I C ’s are. H e r e ar e t h e five. In b r a c k e t s w e give
t h e i r t r a n s f o r m a t i o n a l a nal ysi s.
1. p r e t t y ( (little ( g i r l s ’ s c h o o l ) )
(a gi r ls ’ s chool t h a t is p r e t t y a nd little)
2. p r e t t y little ( g i r l s ’ s c ho o l )
( a gi r ls ’ s chool t h a t is r a t h e r s ma ll )
3. p r e t t y ((little g i r l s ’) s ch o o l )
(a p r e t t y s chool for little girls)
4. ( ( p r e t t y (little gi r ls ’)) school
(a school for girls w h o a r e p r e t t y a nd little)

5. ( ( p r e t t y little) gi r l s’) school

(a school Tor girls w h o a r e r a t h e r s m a l l )
M o r e often t h a n n ot t h e h u m o r o u s s i t u a t i o n is c r e a t e d by
t h e a m b i g u i t y of t h e s e n t e n c e s t r u c t u r e t o g e t h e r w i t h the
p o l y s e m y of a w o r d or w or ds .

* The example is borrowed from: P. Roberts Patterns of English.

< 0 Glitter t h e foll owi ng e x a m p l e t a k e n from t h e book «Angel
F i v e me r i b by J. Pr iest ly.
I I 1) «... It ca n wai t».
« W h a t c an ? »
«London c an. All of it».
licMilcs the m e a n i n g of ‘c a n ’ a s a m o d a l v e r b it h a s also the
PI t i l l i n g of a n o u n — ‘a c o n t a i n e r for r e f u s e ’. H e n c e , ‘w h a t
J i l l 1 a c q u i r e s t w o r ea d in g s: ‘W h a t c a n w a i t ? ’ a n d ‘W h a t
kind ol c a n ' . T h e a n s w e r h a s also a d o u bl e m e a n i n g : ‘London
f i n w a i t ’ a n d ‘L on d o n is a c a n ’.

3. Surface Structure and Deep Structure

-Still, lo gain a d e e p e r insight into t he p e c u l i a r i t i e s of l a ng ua ge
Mi iu l lire it is n e c e s s a r y to d i s c r i m i n a t e b e t w e e n t h e sur fa ce
ntPuelure a nd t h e d e e p s t r u c t u r e of a s e n t e n c e . C o ns i d e r
I he lol lowing s e n t e n c e s .
( I d) ( S h e ( m a d e ( h i m (a good h u s b a n d ) ) ) )
(ID ( S h e ( m a d e ( hi m (a good w i f e )) ))
An is s h o w n b y t h e IC a n a l ys i s t he s u r f a c e s t r u c t u r e of t h e
two s e n t e n c e s is t h e s a m e , b u t w e i n t u it i v e ly feel t h a t thei r
m e a n i n g is different. T h a t is t o say, t h e y h a v e different d ee p
i l r u e t u r e s t h a t c a n be m a d e explicit b y a t r a n s f o r m a t i o n a l
Analysis.
(L.’i) S h e m a d e a g oo d h u s b a n d o u t of him.
(131) S h e m a d e he rse lf a go od wife for him.
l e i ’s c o n s i d e r a n o t h e r e x a m p l e .
(II) J o h n found a b oo k on B r o a d w a y .
John m a y h a v e found a book w h o s e s u b j e c t m a t t e r is t he
| (fti ons s t r e e t n a m e d B r o a d w a y , or it m a y be t h a t on this
Itrcvl he found t h e book. B u t n o w c o n s i d e r t h e t w o related
ir n t c n c e s w h e re th e surface s tru c tu re corresponds to the
ilcrp s t r u c t u r e .

31
( H i ) J o h n found a br a ce l et on B r o a d wa y .
(14ii) J o h n found a book on linguistics.
T h e y a re u n a m b i g u o u s . T h e e x a m p l e s ol a m b i g u i t y w e h a v d
c o n s i d e r e d are on the s e n t e n c e level.' B u t a l re a dy at thei
p h r a s e level a m b i g u i t y c a n be o b s e r v e d qu i te often. Consider!
t h e p h ra s e.
(15) Irish l a m b s t e w . *
T h e w o r d c o m b i n a t i o n ‘l a mb s t e w ’ is a l r e ad y a m b i g u o u s . J

s t e w m a d e from a lamb
Lamb stew
s t e w m a d e for a lamb

(15i ) (Irish l a m b ) s t e w — m a d e from Irish lamb.

(15ii) Irish ( l a m b s t e w ) — l a mb s t e w m a d e in t h e Irish
manner.

T h e t w o di fferent m e a n i n g in th e following d i al og ue are

d u e t o t h e different d e e p s t r u c t u r e s .
(16) He: W a n t to call y ou a taxi?
She: Yes.
He: Y o u ' re a taxi.

T h e d e e p s t r u c t u r e of t h e q u e s t i o n is e it h e r
‘Do y ou w a n t m e to call a taxi for y o u ? ’ or ‘Do y ou w a nt
m e to call y o u by t h e n a m e ‘t a x i ’?

4. W ord Order
E x a m p l e s (1), ( 2) s h o w t h e i m p o r t a n c e of r e c o g n i z i n g thi
s e n t e n c e p a t t e r n . It is q u i t e obvious t h a t th e s e n t e n c e p a t t e n
is cl osel y r el at ed to t h e w o r d order. C o n s i d e r t h e following
phrases:
(17) a b u s s t a t i o n (a s t a t i o n for b u s e s )
(18) a s t a t i o n b u s (a b u s for t h e s t a t i o n — a r ai lway b

32
I I'D a p o c k e t w a t c h (a w a t c h kept in t h e p oc k e t )
I-Ml) ;i w a t c h p o c k e t (a p o c k e t for a w a t c h )
l*n llic s e n t e n c e level t h e o r d e r of w o r d s ca n c h a n g e the
tin'Fiiling of a s e n t e n c e .
IL'I ) J o h n b r o u g h t t h e bac on h o me .
I'.'") J o h n b r o u g h t h o m e t h e b ac on.
I In' m e a n i n g of ( 2 2 ) m a y be the s a m e as ( 21 ) b ut it c an be
iih.ii i n t e r p r e t e d a s (22i).
(221) J o h n had an i m p o r t a n t s u c c e s s .
Nn\v sec h o w t h e h u m o r o u s effect is c r e a t e d by th e c h a n g e
ol word order.

IJJ) — D o n ’t you w a n t to s e e J o h n t h r o u g h ?
— N o t until I se e t h r o u g h him
l I n see J o h n t h r o u g h ’ — to help him to t h e end.
' I n se e t h r o u g h J o h n ’ — to s e e w h a t kind of m a n J o h n is.
I l r i e is an ill ustr at ion of t h e l a t t e r m e a n i n g .
( VI ) He is a g r e a t o b s e r v e r and he looks g u i te t h r o u g h t h e
d ee d s of m e n .
W. S h a k e s p e a r e , Julius Caesar. A c t /. Sc. 2.
I lie wor d o r d e r of modi f ie rs is often t h e s o u r c e of a m b i g u i t y .
II ,i r ea de r d o e s n ’t a s s o c i a t e y o u r modi fi ers wi th t h e w o r d s
vnii m e a n t t h e m to modify, t h e r es u l t m a y be a n y t h i n g from
ti laugh at y o u r e x p e n s e t o c o m p l e t e m i s u n d e r s t a n d i n g . The
мини t h i n g to b e a r is t h a t a r e a d e r c a n n o t h e a r t h e w r i t e r ’s
intimation p a t t e r n , w h i c h often is e n o u g h to s h o w a l ist ener
Which w o r d s g o w it h wrhich. Fo r e x am pl e :
(i) T h e r e is a m a n in t h e c a r from K an sa s.

. Sentence (i) m a y be u n d e r s t o o d e i t h e r ‘t h e m a n is from

K a n s a s ’ or ‘t h e c a r is from K a n s a s ’.

I I ( ii) The re is a m a n from K a n s a s in t h e car.

I to 1474 33
5. S u p r a s e g m e n t a l S t r u c t u r e M I *з Я
As is well k n o w n t h e difference of s e n t e n c e s t r u c t u r e wi
be eliminated in oral s peech by stress, tone, j unc tur e s, pauses —
in s h o r t e v e r y t h i n g t h a t is k n o w n as p r os o d ic s e n t e n c e
s t r u c t u r e . In w r i t t e n l a n g u a g e t h e r e is a p o s s i b i l i t y of
a mb i gu i t y . C o n s i d e r t h e following.

(25) F o r t y odd people.

(25i) ( F o r t y o dd ) p eopl e — F o r t y a nd s o m e m o r e people.
(25ii) F o r t y ( odd p eo p l e ) — F o r t y s t r a n g e people.
( 26 ) S h e n a m e d Ch a rl ie t h e p r e si de nt.
D u e to t h e dif fer ence in j u n c t u r e ‘p r e s i d e n t ’ c an be an object
c o m p l e m e n t t h e n th e s e n t e n c e m e a n s ‘S h e a p p o in t e d Charlie
to be p r e s i d e n t ’. B u t if ‘p r e s i d e n t ’ is a n o p p o s i t i ve (the!
j u n c t u r e w o u l d be different) t h e n it m e a n s t h a t Charl ie is
t h e p r e s i d e n t a n d s h e n a m e d h i m in c o n n e c t i o n w i t h
s o m e t h i n g else.
e.g. S h e ' n a m e d ' Ch a rl ie t h e ^p r esi de nt
S h e ' n a m e d ^ C ha rl ie | t h e . p r e s i d e n t
Be r na r d S h a w w a s a m a s t e r of c r e a t i n g h u m o r o u s situation;
by m a k i n g u s e of s u p r a s e g m e n t a l s t r u c t u r e of w o r d s oi
s e n t e n c e s . Suffice it t o m e n t i o n t h e n a m e of o ne of his
c h a r a c t e r s ‘L i s i s t r a t a ’ w h i c h could be u n d e r s t o o d as ‘Lis
s e e s s t r a i g h t e r ’ o r ‘is a t ra it or '.
H e r e is a j o k e b a s e d on t h e s u p r a s e g m e n t a l s t r u c t u r e of tli'
sentence.
( 27 ) — ' S a y y o u Move m e . ' ' S a y it 1 Fo r' h e a v e n ’s xsake.
" s a y 4 ' it!
— It.
In t h e I a s i " s e n t e n c e to m a k e t h e s e n t e n c e m o r e e m p h a t i c at
t h e w o r d s a r e s t r e s s e d . So ‘it ’ i ns t e a d of r e p r e s e n t i n g th'
s e n t e n c e ‘y o u love m e ’ b e c o m e s a n o u n a nd t h e full m e a ni n
of t h e p h r a s e ‘s a y i t ’ a c t ua l l y m e a n s ‘s a y t h e w o rd i f .

34
I. Referential M eaning
f l i r difference of m e a n i n g of a s e n t e n c e c a n be also d u e to
I be dill e r e n c e in t h e ref er ent ial m e a n i n g of s o m e of its part.
We have a lr eady o b se r ve d it in (27). N o w, let u s h av e a n o t h e r
? HHinple.

(УН) ГЬе d o c t o r c o n s i d e r e d him h eal thy.

The 11 .iu sf or ma tio na l a n a l y s i s g i v e s s e n t e n c e
(20) I he d o c t o r c o n s i d e r e d t h a t he w a s h ea l t hy .
Bill even n o w t h e s e n t e n c e h a s t w o re ad in gs :
(201) The d o c t o r c o n s i d e r e d t h a t he h i ms e lf w a s h eal thy.
(ЗУИ) The d o c t o r co n s id e re d t h a t s o m e b o d y el se w a s heal thy.
The difference in r ef er ent ial m e a n i n g is s o m e t i m e s n ot so
Hbvluiis, b ut a t h o r o u g h a n a l y s i s c a n e x pl ic a te t h e different
(Dennings of s u c h a s e n t e n c e .
(10) J o h n and H a r r y w e n t to Cl ev e l an d.
(301) J o h n a n d H a r r y e a c h w e n t to Cl evel and.
(l)Uli) J o h n a nd H a r r y w e n t to C l e v e la n d t o g e t h e r .
The lollowing j o ke is d u e to t h e a m b i g u i t y of t h e referenti al
(Denning of t h e w o r d ‘i t ’.
(31) — I’m h a v i n g t r o u b l e w i t h m y b r ea t h i n g .
— U s e s o m e t h i n g to s t o p it.
fill' advice m a y m e a n : ‘U s e s o m e t h i n g to s t o p t h e t r o u b l e ’
Of ‘Use s o m e t h i n g to s t o p the b r e a t i n g ’.

7. I*» csupposition, Im plication

Up I ill n ow w e h a v e d i s c u s s e d t h e role of t h e lexical m e a n i n g
wl words and t h e s t r u c t u r a l m e a n i n g of g r a m m a t i c a l i t e m s
m| lln M iitence for c o m p r e h e n d i n g its full m e a n i n g . Linguistic
h im . ligat ions h a v e p roved, h o w e v e r , t h a t in o r d e r to fully
tliidrr land the m e a n i n g of a s e n t e n c e , it is n o t onl y n e c e s s a r y
In lumw t h e m e a n i n g of t h e w o r d s , t h e p h r a s e s t r u c t u r e of
lllr r n t e n c e a nd its p a t t e r n s , b u t it is also n e c e s s a r y to t a ke
into ac c oun t the possible presu ppo sitio ns the s e n ten o
implies.

In o t h e r w o r d s to u n d e r s t a n d t h e m e a n i n g of a s e n t e n c e !
is n e c e s s a r y to ta k e i n t a . a c c o u n t n ot only t h e u t t e r a n c e o i
s e n t e n c e , but also t h e c o n t e x t in w h i c h it is u t t e r e d .
T h e c o n t e x t of an u t t e r a n c e i n c l u d e s t h o s e i ndi vi dual !
p a r t i c i p a n t s , involved in th e s p e e c h act, as well as tl|
p h y s i c a l a n d c u l t u r a l s e t t i n g of t h e spe"ech a ct : M o t
specifically t h e c o n t e x t of an u t t e r e n c e c o n s i s t s of, at lea^
t h e s p e a ke r , the a d d r e s s e r (s), if any, t h e a ud ie nc e, if any, tlf
physical e n v i r o n m e n t of t h e u t t e r a n c e , and t h e «cul tural
environment,
«... t h e p r e s u p p o s i t i o n s of a s e n t e n c e a re t h o s e c o n d i t i o!
t h a t t h e wor ld m u s t m e e t in o r d e r for t h e s e n t e n c e to maH
literal s e n s e . T h u s , if s o m e s u c h co nd i ti on is not me t, i<
s o m e s e n t e n c e S, t h e n e i t h e r S m a k e s no s e n s e at all о
else it is u n d e r s t o o d in s o m e nonli t er al w a y, for e x a m p l e i
a j oke or m e t a p h o r » . ( E d w a r d L. K e e n a n . T wo k i n d s 0
s u p p o s i t i o n in n a t u r a l l a n g u a g e s . « S t u d i e s in L i n g u i s t
S e m a n t i c s » . N . Y . 1 97 1, p. 45. )
A n a t u r a l s e n t e n c e is a c c o m p a n i e d b y a g r e a t n u m b e r j
p r e s u p p o s i t i o n s b u t t h e o n e p r o p e r for t h e o c c a s i o n ]
ge ne ra lly co n n e c te d w ith the e x tra lin g u is tic situatio]
C o n s i d e r t h e following e x a mp l e .
(32) W h e n did y ou c o m e h o m e last n i g ht ?
T h e q u e s t i o n p r e s u p p o s e s t h a t t h e m a n a d d r e s s e d w a s n ’t I
h om e.
In a definite s i tu a ti on , s a y at a trial, s u c h a p r e s u p p o s i t i o n »
of g r e a t i m p o r t a n c e , for it m a y leave t h e a c c u s e d w i t h o J
his alibi
A n o t h e r i m p o r t a n t p h e n o m e n o n to el uci date t h e real m e a n i j i
of a s e n t e n c e is its possible i mpl ic at ions . S o w h e r e a s i l l
p r e s u p p o s i t i o n is derived pr imar il y from t h e m e a n i n g of ’In
s e n t e n c e itself t h e i mpl icat ion is s o m e t h i n g t h a t is d u e »
the situation, the background, the general atm osphere
s o m e t i m e s c o n t r a d i c t o r y to t h e m e a n i n g of t h e s e n t e n c e j

36
I H . .(gain t u r n to J . P r i e s t l e y ' s « Angel P a v e m e n t » a n d one
•it it . c h a r a c t e r s M i s s V e r e v e r . « W h a t s h e a c t ua l l y said w a s
liiiimless e n o u g h , but h e r t o n e of voice, he r e x p r e s s i o n , he r
•.mill . h e r g l a n c e , all t h e s e s u g g e s t e d 1hat h e r w o r d s had
•hhiic devilish i nn e r m e a n i n g (p. 102).

I (insider t he following e x a m p l e : s u p p o s e a friend a s k s you

II vm.i h a v e s e e n a n y t h i n g of y o u r n e w n e i g h b o u r s , a n d you
Htlswci <•Yes, w e called on t h e m — o nc e*. You h a v e n ’t been
ipillly of a n y t h i n g t h a t co uld be called s la nd e r , b u t h av e
t c i l . i m l y implied t h a t y o u d o n ’t t h i nk m u c h of t h e m : and
n"in friend will u n d o u b t e d l y infer t h a t t h a t ’s w h a t you me a n .
Ii lie c o m e s b ac k w it h t he r e m a r k «I s a w t h e m b ot h cold
eiibei o n e d a y last w e e k » , y o u c an t u r n y o u r kind a t t e n t i o n
|u s o m e o t h e r friends — w i t h o u t e v e r s a y i n g a n a s t y w or d ,
n! c o u r se .
Now, l e t ’s s e e h o w p r e s u p p o s i t i o n a n d i m p l i c a t i o n a r e
H p l u i l ('d to p r o d u c e a h u m o r o u s effect.
(,M) W h a t t h is c o u n t r y n e e d s is a m a n w h o c a n be right
and P r e s i d e n t at t h e s a m e ti me.
| * r c M i p p o s i t i o n : I t ’s i mp o s si bl e for a m a n to be at t h e
mime l ime r i gh t and P r e s i d e n t .
I I n e is a q u o t a t i o n , d e a l i n g w i t h t h e s a m e idea:
(,И) «I had r a t h e r be r ig ht , t h a n be P r e s i d e n t »
H e n r y Clay, Re mar k, 1939.
C,(insider t h e e x a m p l e w h e r e t h e p r e s u p p o s i t i o n is a c c o m p a ­
nied by an impl icat ion.
(ill.) — W a s it v e r y c r o w d e d at t h e c a b a r e t last n i g h t ?
— N o t u n d e r m y t able.
I*t (•supposition: S o m e p e ople w e r e u n d e r m y table.
Implication: M a n y pe opl e w e r e d r u n k.
8. P o l y s e m y , h o m o n y m y , m e t o n y m y , m e t a p h o r
zeugm a, paraphrase
W e h a v e a l re a dy c on s i de r ed e x a m p l e s w h e r e t h e polyse
o r h o m o n y m y of w o r d s a n d a m b i g u i t y of s e n t e n c e s t r u c t u r
d ou bl e t h e m e a n i n g of t h e s e n t e n c e . Bu t v e r y often tl
h o m o n y m y of a w o rd is q u i t e e n o u g h to m a k e t h e s e n t e n
a m b i g u o u s or c r e a t e a h u m o r o u s si tuat ion.
(36) She: N o w t h a t w e a re e n g a g e d , dear , y o u ’ll give me
ring, w o n ' t y o u ?
He: Yes, dear, cer tai nl y. W h a t ’s y o u r p h o n e n u m b
d a r l i ng ?
H om on ym y: r i n g — 1) a ci rcul ar object. 2) a p h o n e cal|
(37) S o m e fellows believe in d r e a m s until t h e y m a r r y о
(Metaphor)
(38) T o s a v e face — k ee p l o we r half sh u t .
M e to ny m y: k e e p y o u r m o u t h s h u t.
T h e s a m e idea: «False face m u s t hide wrha t t he false he
d o t h k no w» .
W. S h a k e s p e a r e , M a c b e t h . A c t I, Sc.
(39) Cu stomer: I w o u l d like a book, please.
Bookseller: S o m e t h i n g light?
Customer: T h a t d o e s n ’t m a t t e r . 1 h av e m y c a r wt
me. ( P o l y s e m y ) .
(40) Herbert: A r t h u r h a s n ’t been o u t o ne ni ght for thr
weeks.
Flora: H a s he t u r n e d ov er a n e w leaf?
Herbert: No, h e ’s t u r n ed over a n e w car. ( Pa r ap hr a
(41) « W e dr i nk o n e a n o t h e r heal th and spoil o u r owq
(Zeugma)
Jerome K. Sero
Idle T h o u g h t s o f an Idl e F e l l '
H o m o n y m y of -ing f or ms a r e s o m e t i m e s t h e s o u r c e
ambiguitv.
Н?) a s l e e p i n g dog.
I I D a s l e e p i n g car.
I hr d e e p s t r u c t u r e of t h e s e p h r a s e s are
( I'.li) T he d o g is sl e ep in g .
I I h) The c a r is for sl eepi ng.
In ( T.’) ‘s l e e p i n g ’ is a par ti ci pl e, in ( 4 3 ) , a g e r u n d .
In written l a n g u a g e t his dist in c ti on is not q u i t e o b v io u s and
I In c n t e n c e a c q u i r e s a d ou bl e r eading.
Ill) Th e chi ldren w e r e w a t c h i n g a s w i m m i n g m a t c h .
(110 The children w e re w a t c h i n g a m a tc h w hich w a s
ни mimi ng .
I I In) I h e chil dr en w e r e w a t c h i n g a m a t c h for s w i m m i n g .
In oral s p e e c h t h e t w o w o r d s wo u l d be s t r e s s e d differently
tiitil t he re w o u l d be no a m b i g u i t y .
(Tli) The 'children w e r e ' w a t c h i n g a ' s w i m m i n g '''match.
( T in ) T he 'children w e r e ' w a t c h i n g a ^ s w i m m i n g m a t c h .
The s u p r a s e g m e n t a l s t r u c t u r e of an u t t e r a n c e ( s t r e s s , t o ne ,
|iи u l 1 1 re) m a k e s t h e m e a n i n g of a s e n t e n c e c l e a r a n d it is
very s e l d o m t h a t t'he s e n t e n c e r e m a i n s a m b i g u o u s . B u t
h o m o n y m y of - i n g f or ms a re often t h e s o u r c e of h u m o u r .
('1li) G u e s t : Look her e, t h e rain is s i m p l y p o u r i n g t h r o u g h
llii' mo f of m y b e d r o o m .
Iiun mer Hotel Proprietor: A b s o l u t e l y a c c o r d i n g t o o u r
p n i s p e ct us , sir. R u n n i n g w a t e r in e v e r y ro om.
(I) ' r u n n i n g 4 v a t e r ( t h e rain is p o u r i n g )
(,M ^running |water,
' l i m n i n g ’ in ( 1) is a par ti ci pl e, in ( 2) a g e r u n d .

(ill) — H o w do you like b a t h i n g b e a u t i e s ?

— C a n ’t tell. I n e v e r b a t h e d any.
tloinonymy: 1) to like b e a u t i e s w h o a r e b a t h i n g . 2 ) t o like
In ba th e b ea ut ie s.
39
E x a m p l e s of a m b i g u i t y gi ven h e r e ( n o d o ub t , t he ir n u m b e r
c an be i n c r e a s e d indefinitely) a r e e asi ly e xpla ine d if w e t a k a
into a c c o u n t t h e n a t u r e of a living l a n g u a g e . To i ll us t r a te itJ
l e t ’s c o m p a r e t h e l a n g u a g e of, s ay, m a t h e m a t i c s w i t h then
E ng l is h l a n g u a g e .

t h r e e.
L ( 1) h a s a s in gl e m e a n i n g w h e r e a s L ( 2) has at l east t w o
more meanings:

H e n c e for t he English l a n g u a g e a s t r a n g e s e n t e n c e like (47]

is q u i te possible.
( 47 ) T he R o m a n s built t his w a y t hi s w a y t his way.
T h e m e a n i n g of ( 4 7 ) can b e m a d e c l e a r e r by m e a n s <>l
s y n o n y m s of ‘t hi s w a y ’.
(47i ) T h e R o m a n s built t his r o a d in t h i s di r ecti on in s u c h a
manner.
O n t h e o t h e r hand, q u i t e a n o r d i n a r y s e n t e n c e like (48]
a p p e a r s to h a v e t h r e e m e a n i n g s .
(48) H e m e t he r at t h e bed w i t h flowers.
T h e s e n t e n c e c a n be i n t e r p r e t e d a s follows.
(48i) H e had flowers w h e n he m e t h e r at t h e bed.
(48ii) H e m e t he r at th e bed w h i c h w a s full of flowers.

(48iii) S h e had flowers w h e n he m e t h e r a t t h e bed.

N o w , to s u m up. W e fully reali ze t h a t t h e s o u r c e s of sucl
j o k e s c an be e i t h e r a c h a n c e m i s t a k e or a b l u nd e r of tIM
sp ea ke r . As S a m u e l But ler p u t s it: «The m o s t perfect h u m o J
a n d irony is g e n e r a l l y q u i t e u n c o n s c i o u s » . ( S. Butler, IJ I
a n d Hab it .) O n t h e one ha nd , t h e n at i v e s p e a k e r is t r a i n e
In m a k e full u s e of all possible v a r i a t i o n s t h e l a n g u a g e offers
linn I int. on t he o t h er hand, it is n ot believed t hat all variations
, 1 1 г c o nt r ol l e d — it will n e v e r be pos s ible to predi ct all t h a t
a m a n m i g h t s a y before he s a y s it. H e n c e , possibl e e rrors.

Iliil il is also t r u e t h a t t h e n a t i ve h e a r e r h a s been t r a i n e d to

i i i m p r o h e n d all possible v a r ia t io n s , so, at a n y r ate, a s e co n d
l e nd i n g of a p h r a s e o r s e n t e n c e will be p e r c ei v e d b y him as
vvdl a s t h e first one.

A s e n t e n c e h a v i n g a doubt ful or d ou b l e m e a n i n g is equivocal,

t O'uuder t h e following.
1,11 lie brother: O w w w w ! O w w w w w w w !
I b t i l i e r : Pet e! Did y o u h u r t D a n n y ?
l* H e ( t o F a t h e r ) : G e e , D a d , I n e v e r e v e n t o u c h e d h i m.
I d o n ’t k n o w w h y h e ’s c rying.
(To hims elf ): Well, I d i d n ’t t o u c h — I j u s t t o u c h e d t he
Imseball bat. I d o n ’t k n o w t h a t he is c r y i n g b e c a u s e t h e bat
h a p p e n e d to b u m p i nt o his h e ad . D a d d i d n ’t t h i n k m e to
y ile ss.

E q ui voc at i on is t h e d e li b e r a t e u s e of a m b i g u o u s l a n g u a g e in
Die hope t h a t t h e h e a r e r will m a k e o n e i n t e r p r e t a t i o n and
pl neeed a c c o r d i n g l y whi le t h e s p e a k e r hol ds a n o t h e r o n e in
i c . e r v e , e i t h e r to s o o t h e his c o n s c i e n c e or to help hidden
cuhI го I o v e r f u t u r e e v e n t s .
Now, t h e e r r o r in s p e e c h could be m a d e on p u r p o s e , for t h e
sake of a c h i e v i n g a h u m o r o u s effect. B u t in e i t h e r c a s e , w e
deal w it h e r r i n g a nd from this point of v i e w t hi s c h a p t e r
i an be l ooked u p o n as an i nt eg ra l p a r t оГ t h e book.

A linguistic a n a l y s i s of a j o k e will n o t on ly m a k e it possi bl e

lia I lie s t u d e n t s to c o m p r e h e n d its h u m o u r but will also
h e lp him to p e n e t r a t e into t h e d e p t h s of t h e Engl i sh L a n g u a g e
and w a y of f un ct i o ni n g.

'ш, I lie few e x a m p l e s gi ven h er e a r e pr i ma ri ly m e a n t to

fel1 1 1 и ilate t h e s t u d e n t s ’ m i n d s r a t h e r t h a n to b u r d e n t hei r
memor y. T h e y also aim to help to a c q u i r e t h e skills n e c e s s a r y
In c o m p r e h e n d a r e a s o n a b l y c o m p l e x a r g u m e n t .
C o m p r e h e n d i n g s u c h a r g u m e n t s is, of c our se , only p ar t of]
t h e bat tle. T h e n e x t t a s k is to gain i nsi ght into w h a t m a k e s
a good a r g u m e n t in l a n g u a g e so t h a t one can construct]
s u c h a r g u m e n t s oneself.

T he m a i n a i m of t his c h a p t e r is to help s t u d e n t s achiev«

t h e s e obj ec ti ve s. W e h op e t h a t it will be a useful tool for al
t h o s e w h o ar e s e r i o us l y i n t e r e s t e d in l e a r n i n g a b o u t th<
m o s t c o m p l e x i nt e lle ct u a l feat a cc e ss i b l e to щ\ h u m a n s , the
u s e of l a n g u a g e .
As a gu id e to t h e s t u d e n t s ’ i nve st ig a ti ons w e will recommencfl
t h e m t h e following q u o t a ti o n : « I ma gi na ti on w a s given m
m a n to c o m p e n s a t e him for w h a t he is not, a s e n s e of humoui]
to c on s o le him for w h a t he is. So keep smiling». ( A n o n y ­
mous )
As W . T h a c k e r a y p u t s it «А good laugh is s u n s h i n e in .
ho us e ». ( W . Thackeray, A d v e n t u r e s of P h il ip . )
The. j o k e s in t hi s collection are linguistically based, t h a t >■
t h e y a re limited to t h o s e wh i c h m a y s e rv e as i ll us tr at io n s i>
v a r i o u s lingui st ic p h e n o m e n a indi cat ed in P a r t A.
T h e m a t e r i a l h a s been d r a w n from h u m o r o u s s o u r ce s , T
t h e m o s t pa r t Bri tish a nd A m e r i c a n , including q u o t a t i o n
Ггот b o o k s of f a m o u s w r i t e r s , phi l o so ph er s, politicians.
T h e a r r a n g e m e n t of t h e ma te r ia l is ar b i tr ar y, si nce it is fi
t h e r e a d e r to d e t e r m i n e t h e linguistic f o un d a ti on underlyi n
t he joke.
II. E n g l i s h H u m o u r a t W o r k
II I. Smile: T h in g s Mary Get Wor se More S l o w l y

P. кplain w h e r e i n lies the h u m or ou s effect of th e joke.

II) No m a t t e r w h a t peopl e m a y s a y I’ll a l w a y s believe
t h a t m a r r i a g e is n o t a wor d, it is a s e n t e n c e .

* * *
I ') Those w h o will n ot r eason,
Peri sh in t h e act.
Th o se w h o will n o t act,
Perish for t h a t r eas on.

IP — H o w l o n g h a s y o u r last cook b ee n w it h y o u ?
— S h e w a s n e v e r w it h us, s h e w a s a g a i n s t u s from
(lie s t a rt .
( 4) — I e x p e c t a lot of dirty w o r k w h e n I s t a r t m y n
business.
— T r e a c h e r y , eh?
— No, I’m o p e n i n g a l aundr y.

( 5) — D o e s y o u r m o t h e r do h e r o w n w a s h i n g ?
— Yes , all e x c e p t h e r back.

(6 ) - Eliza, — said a friend of t h e family to t h e ol<j

w a s h e r w o m a n , — h av e y ou s e e n M i s s E d i t h ’s fiance?
—- No, m a ’a m, — a n s w e r e d t h e lat ter , — it a i n ’t bee
in t h e w a s h yet.

( 7) — P e t e r , e a t u p y o u r g r e e n s . T h e y ar e v e r y good И
g r o w i n g children.
—* Bu t, M u m , w h o w a n t s to g r o w chi ldren?

( 8) —j I c oul d m a r r y a n y b o d y I please.
— So, w h y d o n ’t y ou ?
— I h a v e n ’t p leas ed a n y b o d y yet.

( 9) — Q u i t e a lot of girls d o n ’t w a n t t o g e t mar riej

nowadays.
— H o w do you kno w, J a m e s ?
— B e c a u s e I’ve a s k e d t h e m .

(10) — W a i t e r , w h a t do you call this?

— I t ’s b e a n s o up , sir.
— I d o n ’t c ar e w h a t i t ’s been. W h a t is it n o w ?

44
 ^ **R
ill) — Did t h e d o c t o r d i a g n o s e y o u r c a s e ?
— Yes.
— H o w l o ng did it t a k e ?
— A b o u t a m i n u t e a nd t h r e e q u a r t e r s . I had on an old
suit.

* :|: :|c
I!'.’) — T h e d o c t o r said he 'd h av e m e on m y feet in a
fortnight.
— And did he?
— S u r e , I ’ve had to sell m y car.

* * *
(1,1) She: I cook a nd cook, a nd w h a t do I g e t ? N ot hi ng !
He: Y o u ’re lucky, m y d e a r, I g e t i ndiges tion.
* * Ф
|M ) — W ai t e r , h a ve you s m o k e d s a u s a g e ?
— No, b ut I ’ve s m o k e d c i g a r e t t e s .

* * *
I l,h) He: Be careful w i t h t his m o u n t a i n d e w . I t ’s p r e t t y
strong.
She: O h , d o n ’t m a k e a m o u n t a i n o u t of a mole-hill,
please.

* * *
(Hi) — R e a l ly , — M r . H o r t o n s a i d t o h is n e w t y p i s t , —
I d o n ’t t h i n k y o u h a v e t h e s l i g h t e s t i d e a w h a t
punctuation means.
— Oh, indeed, I have, — s he replied. — I’m here e v er y
m o r n i n g at five m i n u t e s to nine.

* * *
(I/) A s e a m a n a p p r e n t i c e b o u g h t a d i c t i o n a r y of naval
l e r m s . A f t e r l e a f i n g t h r o u g h it for s o m e t i m e he
rem arked with d isap p o in tm en t. «W hat a short
d i c t i o n a r y of n aval w or ds : I c ou l d not find h e r e a singl e
wor d of t h o s e s o m u c h u se d by t h e Ca p ta i n» .

45

.
 sfc :} s , ,,

(18) — H a v e you r ead t h e P e n g u i n book of q u o t a t i o n s ?

— I n e v e r realized P e n g u i n had t h a t m u c h to say.

* * *
(19) — W h e r e w e r e y ou bo rn?
— A me ri ca .
— W h i c h part?
— All of me , of c o u r s e .

* * *
(20) Office Boy ( n e r vo u s l y) : P le ase , sir, I t h i n k y o u ' r e
w a n t e d on t he p h one .
Employer: You think! W h a t ’s t h e good of t h i n k i n g ’^
Office Boy: Well, sir, t h e voice at t h e o t h e r e n d said.
«Hello, is t h a t you, y o u old idiot?»

* * *
(21) S o m e fellows beli eve in d r e a m s until t h e y m a r r y one.

* * *
(22) A p o e t is one w h o e i t h e r p u t s fire into his v e r s e s or
p u t s his v e r s e s i n t o t h e fire.

* * *
(23) — W h a t did y ou h e a r a t t h e O p e r a yesterday?
— All s o r t s of t h i n g s : S m i t h is g o i n g b a n k r u p t ,
M r s . B r ow n ha s d ye d hair, t h e W h i t e s a r e h a v i n g a
divorce.
* * *
(24) — W h a t is mi n d ? N o m a t t e r .
ь — W h a t is m a t t e r ? N e v e r mind.

* * *
(25) A bird in t h e h a n d is ba d t abl e m a n n e r s .

* * *
(26) — Do y o u k n o w w h y w e call o u r l a n g u a g e t h e mothelj
tongue?
— B e c a u s e F a t h e r n e v e r g e t s a c h a n c e to u s e it.
 Jjc *
(2/) A l c o h o l is a l i q u i d g o o d for preserving almost
everything except secrets.

* * *
I JHI 'Гeacher: J o h n n y , to w h a t class of th e a ni ma l Kingdom
do 1 be lo ng ?
John ny : I d o n ’t k n o w , t e a c h e r , pa s a y s y o u ’re an old
hen and m a s a y s y o u ’re a cat.

* * *
Щ |) - H o w did you g e t h e r e ? — a s k e d th e hospi tal d bc to r
of his p a ti e n t.
— Flu, — replied t h e si ck m a n.

* * *
(,ID) — W h a t ' s t h e difference b e t w e e n an act ive v e r b and a
p as sive v e r b ?
— An a ct i v e v er b s h o w s a c ti on a n d a p a s s i ve ver b
s h o w s pas si on.

* * *
( l i t ) — H o w did you find t h e s t e a k , sir?
— I j u s t m o v e d t h e p o t a t o a n d t h e r e it w a s .

* * *
P'2) Kate arrival: So sorry, Mrs.Knight, I’m so dreadfully late.
M r s . K nigh t ( w h o h a s b ee n h o l d i n g u p a d i n n e r ­
party): I t ’s q u i t e all right , M i s s B r o w n , y ou could
n e v e r be t oo late.

* * *
(H i) Teacher: Bobbie, w h o w a s A n n e Bol ei n?*
Bobbie: A n n e Bolein w a s a flat iron.
Teacher: W h a t on e a r t h do y ou m e a n ?
B o b b i e : Well, it s a y s h er e in t h e h is tor y book: «Henry,
h a v i n g d isposed of C a t h e r i n e , p r e ss e d his s ui t wi th
A nn e Bolein».

t: paeni bo: li:n| — s e c o n d wife of Ki ng H e n r y VIII.

47
(34) Soprano: Did you n ot ic e h o w m y voice filled t h e hatj
last n i g h t ?
Co ntralto: Yes, dear; in fact, I n ot ic e d s e ve r al peopKj
l e a v i n g to m a k e r o om for it.

(35) H ot e l keeper: H e r e ar e a f ew v i e w s of o u r hotel lofl

y ou t o t a k e wit h you, Sir.
Guest: T h a n k s a lot, b u t I h av e m y o w n v i e w s of you^
hotel.

* *
(36) W illie: I h a v e an awful t o o t h a c h e .
Tom mie: I’d h a v e it t a k e n o u t if it w a s mine.
W ill ie : If it w a s y o u rs , I w ou ld , too.

(37) T ea che r ( l o ok i ng o v e r T e d d y ’s h o m e w o r k) : I d o n ’‘
s e e h o w it is possible for a s ingle p e r s o n to m a k e
m a n y mistakes.
T e d d y ( pr ou dl y) : It i s n ’t a s in gl e p e r so n , t e a c h e r . My
f a t h e r h el pe d me.

(38) Teacher: W h e n w a s R o m e built?

Percy: A t night.
Teacher: W h o told y ou t h a t ?
Percy: You said R o m e w a s n ’t built in a day.

(39) — Sir, I h av e all t h e g e m s of E n g l is h l it er at ur e in rr

library.
— Yes, a n d I n o t ic e t h a t t h e y a r e u n c u t g e m s .

* * *
(40) T h e r e w a s a q u e u e a t t h e t e l e p h o n e booth. T he ma
inside h a d b ee n t h e r e half an hour . H e held t h e receiv
b u t his l ip s w e r e n ot m ov i n g . At last o n e qf It
i m p a t i e n t c r ow d p u s h e d open t h e door;

48
-

— E x c u s e m e , b u t are you s p e a k i n g to a n y b o dy ?
— Yes, — w a s t h e a n s w e r . — To m y wife.

* * *
(II) — It is a f u n n y t hi ng , b u t e v e r y t i m e I d a n c e wi t h you
t h e d a n c e s s e e m v e r y shor t.
— T h e y are. M y fiance is l ea de r of t h e o r ch e s t r a .

* * *
( I'.') — M e w it hi n all, all wi thi n me .
— A r e you p r e g n a n t ?

:{c * *
( h ’i) — M a r r i a g e is a lottery!
— Yes, b u t y ou c a n ’t t e a r u p y o u r t ic k et if y ou lose.
r
* * *
( I I) — W h a t s hould I t a k e w h e n I ’m r un d o w n , D o c t or ?
— T h e n u m b e r of t h e car, of c o u r s e .

* * *
Mb) At t h e C a n t e e n .
— Veni, vidi, vomiti.
>k
( III) At t h e p a r t y t h e c o nv e r s a t i o n h ad t u r n e d to A - bo mb s
a nd H - b o m b s .
— D e a r me, — said t he h o s t e s s at last. — W h a t a
d e p r e s s i n g s ub je c t.
— We ll , — m u r m u r e d .the pr of es so r, — at least l e t ’s
h o p e t h e s u b j e c t will n e v e r be d r op p ed .

* * *
(■I/) P h y s i c a l Exam in er: A n y s c a r s o n y o u ?
Recruit: No, b ut I g o t s o m e c i g a r e t t e s in m y c oa t
p o ck e t.
* * *
MS) Bill: M y wife d o e s n ’t u n d e r s t a n d me ; d o e s y o u r s ?
Jim: I d o n ’t t h i n k so; I h av e n e v e r h e a rd h e r m e n t i o n
your name.

49

.
 ■Jf. *

(49) D a d ( s t e r n e y ) : W h e r e w e r e you last n i g ht ?

Son: O h , j u s t r id in g a r o u n d w i t h s o m e of t he boys.
Dad: Well, t e l l ’e m not t o leave t he ir hai rpins in t h e
c a r n ex t t i me .

(50) W h a t t hi s wo rl d n e e d s is l ess p e r m a n e n t w a v e s a nd
m o r e p e r m a n e n t wives.

* * *
( 51 ) — Do y o u h a v e a facult y for m a k i n g love?
— No, w e h a v e a s t u d e n t body.

* * *
(52) 1 scream and you scream.
A nd w e all s c r e a m .
F o r ic e- cr ea m.

( 53 ) T h e y o u n g l ady w e n t i nt o a p h o t o g r a p h e r ’s s t u d i o and
p r o d u c i n g a s mal l s n a p of h e r boyfriend in t h e M a r i n e
uni f or m, said, «1 w a n t t hi s e nl ar ged».
— Ce rt ai nl y, M i s s , — said t h e a s s i s t a n t , — a nd wo u ld
y o u like it m o u n t e d ?
— O h , y e s / p l e a s e , — said he y o u n g lady, — h e ’ll look]
nice on a horse.

( 54 ) A flying c a d e t w a s a sked: « H o w is y o u r flying t r a i n in g ? j

O n e of t h o s e trial — a nd — e r r or t hi n g s ? »
— J u s t t h e opposite. First c a m e t he error, t h e n t he trial.

( 5 5) Af t er r e c e i v i n g a n o t h e r r e p r i m a n d from his s e r g e a n t
P r i v a t e H i g g i n s r e m a r k e d t o his friend:
— T h a t s e r g e a n t of m i n e o u g h t t o be h un g .
— N o t h u n g , Fr e d’, — his l ea rn ed friend c o r r e c t ed , — |
h a n g ed .
— H u n g , I say; h a n g i n g is t o o g oo d for him.

50
 гЦ lie 1j; » ■ ' • •
(ftl >) — Let m e s e e -if t h e fuel t a n k is e m p t y , — said t h e
d r ive r s t r i k i n g a m a t c h .

(57) Mother: S t o p u s i n g t h o s e bad w o r ds .

Son: S h a k e s p e a r e u s e s t h e m .
Mother: Well, d o n ’t pl ay wi t h him a n y mor e.
* * *
I iH) — W h a t do you t hi nk is a go od s p e e c h ?
— Well, a good s p e e c h is like a g i r l ’s skirt: it m u s t be
l ong e n o u g h to c o v e r t h e m a t t e r a n d s h o rt e n o u g h to
be i n t e r es ti n g.

* * *
l vi) — I s a n g t h e p a r t in 1985, — said s he. — It b r o u g h t
t h e h o u s e down!
— P i t y you w e r e n ’t bur ied u n d e r t h e rubble, — he
muttered.

MM) — H o w do y o u spell r ai n?
— R-a-n-e.
— T h a t ’s t h e w o r s t spell of rain w e ’v e ha d in a l o ng
t ime.

* *
( h i ) A n e w boy c o m e s to school.
— W h a t is y o u r n a m e ? — a s k s t h e t e a c he r .
— M y n a m e is Wi ll iam H o p k i n s , — a n s w e r s t h e boy.
— A l w a y s s a y ‘S i r ’ w h e n you s p e a k t o a t e a c h e r .
— E x c u s e me , — s a y s the boy, — m y n a m e is Sir
William H o p k i ns .

* * *
| h . ’) A t e a c h e r w a s t e l li ng his pupils a b o u t t h e different
s e a s o n s of t h e year. H e as ke d:
— Children, w h o k n o w s w h a t is t h e bes t t im e to g a t h e r
fruit?

51
 Little J i m a n s w e r e d : ■
— W h e n t h e r e is no d o g in th e g a r de n .

* *
(63) Guest: D o e s t h e w a t e r a l w a y s c o m e t h r o u g h t h e rooj
he re ?
Hotel Proprietor: No. sir, no t a lw ay s , only w h e n it
rains. , .
*■
* :f: *
( 64 ) Little S t e v e h a s a rabbit w h o s e n a m e is B u n n y .
S t e v e plays w i t h Bunriy e v e r y d a y af t er school. On
d ay bis m o t h e r s e e s h e r little boy w i t h t h e rabbit in
his h a nd . H e gi ve s t h e poor rabbi t an a n g r y s h a k e and
says: « H o w m u c h is t w o plus t w o ? » o r « H o w m u c h i
t h r e e plus t h r e e ? » . « S te v e, m y boy», s a y s his m o t h e r
« W h y do y ou t r e a t y o u r poor little B u n n y so b a dl y'
— Well, — s a y s S t ev e , — o ur t e a c h e r s a y s rabbi
m u l ti p ly v e r y q ui ckly, b u t this d u m m y c a n ’t e ve n add

* * *
( 65 ) — W h o w a s t he first m a n ? — as k e d a C h ic a go t eacher
— W a s h i n g t o n , — a y o u n g Ame ri ca n a n s w er e d at one
— No, — said t he t e a ch er , — A d a m w a s the first m a "
— Oh, well, I t h in k you are right, — replied t h e boy,
b ut I did n o t t h i n k of foreigners.

* * *
( 66 ) A G e n e r a l w a s d i sp l e a s e d w it h a b a tt a l i o n he ha
r evi ewe d .
— I d o n ’t e x p e c t to s e e y ou p r o m o t e d n e x t year
M a j or , — h e said to t h e c o m m a n d e r of t he battalio
— W h y , Y o u r E x c e l l e n c y , — t h e M a j o r repli
p r om pt l y . — You look s o v i g or o us in t h e best of heaill

* * *
( 67) A soldier s e n t o v e r s e a s w r o t e to his p a r e nt s :
— I c a n ’t tell you w h e r e I a m s t a t i o n e d n o w bu t I с
tell you t h o u g h I’m g o i n g to a s k t h e first native;
m e e t if he i s n ’t a s h a m e d of his a n c e s t o r s w h o invent
g u n po wd e r.

52
(liS) Mary; W h a t m a k e s you think t h e t e a c h e r has n e v e r
s e e n a h o u se , J o h n n y ?
J oh nn y: B e c a u s e I d r e w o n e t o da y, a n d s he a sk e d m e
w h a t it was!

* * *
(69) — T he d a y will c o m e , — said a y o u n g s ci e nt is t to a
g r o u p of f ar me rs, — w h e n I shall have e n o u g h fertilizer
in m y p o c k e t for a w h o l e field.
— And th e w h o l e c r op in t h e o t h e r p o ck e t, — said an
old farmer.

C/0) — I a m a l w a y s v e r y careful, — said M r s . R o b i n s o n . —

to s e n d t h e c hi ldr en ou t of t h e h o u s e before I h av e a
quarrel with m y husband.
— Bl es s t h e little d e a r s , — said M r s . J o n e s , — t h e y
look so h e al th y , s p e n d i n g so m u c h t i me in t h e open
air.

* * *
( 71) T h e y ’d b ee n « h a v i n g w o r d s» b e c a u s e he c a m e h o m e
v e r y late ag a in .
— Well, at a n y r at e, I’m a m a n of m y wor d, — he
s n a p p e d angri ly. — I do call a s p a d e a spade.
— M a y be, H e n r y , — his wife r e to r t e d , — b u t y ou
d o n ' t call a club a club, y ou call it w o r k i n g late.
Щ
* * *
(72) H u s b a n d ( a ft e r s h a v i n g in t h e s i t t i n g r oo m) : W h o
w a s t h a t w o m a n y ou h a v e been g o s s i p i n g w i th at t h e
d o o r t h e last h o u r ?
W i f e : M r s . S m i t h . S h e h a d n ’t t i me to c o m e in.

* *
|?3) O l d l a d y ( to a b e g g a r w h o m s h e g a v e a lms ): N o w ,
t h e n, w h a t s hou ld a polite m a n s a y to a lady w h o ha s
given him a p e n n y ?
B e g g a r : I’m t oo polite to s a y it, m a d a m .
 * *
(74) Waiter: H a v e a n o t h e r g la ss of beer, sir?
Husband ( t o his wife): Shall I have a n o t h e r glassJ
H enrietta?
W i f e ( to h e r m o t h e r ) : Shall he h av e a n o t h e r , M o t h e r ?

• * * *
(75) W h e n t h e y w e r e e n g a g e d , he talked a n d - s h e listened,!
d u r i n g t h e h o n e y - mo on she t alked and he list ened!
Af ter t h a t t h e y b o t h talked and t h e n e i g h b o u r s l is t enedJ

* * *
(76) T h e family w e r e s e a t e d at t h e table w i th a g u e s t , whoi
w a s a b u s i n e s s a c q u a i n t a n c e of D a d ’s, all r e a d y to
e nj oy t he me al, w h e n t h e five-year-old s on declared: |
— W h y , t hi s is r o a st beef!
— Yes, — a n s w e r e d t h e M o t h e r . — W h a t of it?
— Well, D a d said t his m o r n i n g t h a t he w a s g o i n g to
b r i n g a b ig fish h o m e for .dinner.

* * *
(77) W i fe (to h e r h u s b a nd r e a d i n g his m o r n i n g newspaper)]
W h e n you w e r e c o u r t i n g m e you u se d to be more
attentive.
H us ba nd : M y dear, w h o is wo r ri e d a b o u t m i s s i n g his
train w h e n he is on it?

* sfc *
(78) A girl a sk e d a soldier w h o w a s h e r d a n c e pa rt ne r:
— W h a t is t h e d if f e r e n c e b e t w e e n m a r c h i n g an(
d a n c i n g?
— I d o n ’t k n o w , — t h e soldier a d m i t t e d .
— I ^l i d n ’t t h in k y ou did, — t h e girl r e m a r k e d .

* * *
(79) M is tr es s ( se ve re ly ): If t hi s o c c u r s ag a i n, J a n e , I shft
be c o mp e ll e d t o g e t a n o t h e r s e r va n t .
Jane: I wi sh you woul d, m a ’a m , t h e r e ’s q u i t e e no u q h
w o r k for t w o of us.

54
 * ф

(80) — I wi s h I k n e w w h a t t o w n I w a s g o i n g to die in.

— H o w woul d t h a t help?
— I’d n e v e r go n e a r t h e place.

* * *
(HI ) Banker: W h a t do you m e a n by tell i ng m e t h a t y ou
had s e v e n y e a r s ’ e x p e r i e n c e in a b a n k w h e n y o u n ev e r
ha d a j ob t h e r e before?
Youth? Well, you a d ve r t i s e d for a m a n w i t h i m a g i ­
nat ion.

* * *
(K'.M Poet: B u r g l a r s broke into m y h o u s e last ni ght .
Friend: Ye s? W h a t h a p p e n e d ?
Poet: T h e y s e a r c h e d t h r o u g h e v e r y r oo m, t h e n left a
five-dollar bill on m y b ur e a u .

* * *
(Hd) — M a n y b a c h e l o r s w i s h t h e y ha d p r e t t y , helpful,
s y m p a t h e t i c wi ves, — s t a t e s a wr i t er .
— S o do m a n y h u s b a n d s .

* * *
Ш She: Y ou a r e t h e n i c es t boy t h a t I h a v e e v e r m e t .
He: Tell it to t h e M a r i n e s .
She: I have — to d o z e n s of t h e m .

* * *
(НГ*) — W h e n is a ten shi lli ng n o t e of no v a l ue ?
— W h e n it is c o m p a r e d w i t h a p o u n d not e; t h e n it is
w o r t h less.

£ * *
(Bti) — You w e r e late t his m o r n i n g , B r o w n .
— Yes, sir, I’m sorry. I o v e rs le pt .
— G o o d gr acious! Do you s l ee p a t h o m e a s well ?

55
 * * *

( 87 ) Mother: It is n i n e o ’cl ock a n d y ou a re n ot in bed yet?

W h a t will f a t h e r s a y w h e n he c o m e s h o m e ?
Henry: H e ’ll s a y : « S u p p e r ! S u p p e r ! W h a t ’s fot
supper?»

:}г * *
(88) The poor artist: Let m e tell you thi^ — in a few
y e a r s ’ t i m e p e o p l e will look u p at t his h o u s e a n d s a y
« Jo ne s, t h e a rt i st , u s e d t o w o r k here».
Landlady: If yo u d o n ’t p a y y o u r r e n t by t oni ght ,
t h e y will be abl e to s a y it t o m o r r o w .

* * *
( 89 ) W h i s k e y is y o u r g r e a t e s t e n e m y .
-г-
— Are w e n o t told to love o u r e n e m i e s ?
— Yes, — w a s t h e reply, — b u t n ot to s w a l l o w them,

* * *
( 90) In th e b u s a w e l l - d r e s s e s m a n m i s s e d his silk hand
kerchief a n d a c c u s e d his n e i g h b o u r , a n old m a n , 0
h a v i n g s t o l e n it. B ut af ter s o m e t i m e t h e well-dresse<
m a n fo un d t h e h a n d k e r ch i e f in his p o c k e t a n d apo
logized for h a v i n g a c c u s e d t h e old m a n .
— N e v e r m i n d , —-■ said t h e latt er. — You t h o u g h t
w a s a thief, a n d I t h o u g h t yo u w e r e a g e n t l e m a n , ant
w e were, b o t h m i s t a k e n .

* * *
( 91) Keep t h i s b u s tidy! T h r o w y o u r t i c k e t s o u t of thi
w in do w.

* * *
( 92 ) Thi£ g o v e r n m e n t a re m a g i c — w a t c h t h e m di s a pp e a
at t h e n e x t elect i on.

* ;fc *
(93) Guest ( t r y i n g t o be c o m p l i m e n t a r y ) : I t ’s a l o n g tint
si nce I’v e e a t e n s u c h a good meal.
Hostess: T h a t ’s w h a t I t h o u g h t .
(HI) C o m m u n i s t Father: W h a t do you m e a n by s t a y i n g
a w a y from col lege? W h a t do y o u m e a n by p l a y i n g
truant?
S o n : C l a s s h a t r e d, father.

MS ) M r . G r e e n w a s a good and c l e v er m a n b u t h e had t he

habit of t a l k i n g to hi mself all t h e t i me . O n e d a y a
friend of his c a m e a n d a s k e d him w h y he did this.
— Well, t h e r e a re t w o good r e a s o n s , — he said. —
First, I like to h e a r a w i s e m a n s p e ak . S e c o n d l y , w h e n
1 s p e a k it is a p l e a s u r e to h a v e an i nt el l igent a u d i e n c e .

:{c * *

ЮН) P i l o t ( ca l li ng b a c k to a i r po r t b y radio): I’m lost!

A i r f i e l d O p e r a t o r : Q u i c k , tell m e y o u r location!

* * *
— H a v e y ou g o t a l awy er ? — t h e j u d g e a s k e d a y o u n g
m a n b r o u g h t before him.
— No, y o u r h o n o u r , — w a s t h e a n s w e r .
— Well, d o n ’t you t h i nk you ha d b e t t e r h a v e o n e ? —
a sk ed t h e j u d g e .
— No, y our honour, — answ ered the y o u n g man. —
I d o n ’t n e e d one. I a m g o i n g to tell t h e t r u t h .

* * *
ИЮ H u s b a n d ( a rr i v in g h o m e late): C a n ’t you g u e s s - w h e r e
I’ve been.
W i f e : I c an , b u t go on w i t h y o u r story'.

(MH) — W h o is an a du lt ?
A p e r s o n w h o h a s s t o p p e d g r o w i n g at both e n d s
and s t a r t e d g r o w i n g in t h e middle.

57
 * * *
(100) Customer: H a v e you a b oo k called « P a t t o n , A Gr e at
General»?
Sa le sg ir l: T h e fiction d e p a r t m e n t is on t h e o t h e r side,
sir.

B-II. T r a v e lle r ’s Tales

1. In' a B u c h a r e s t hotel lobby: The lift is b e i n g fix ed fol

the n e x t day. D u r i n g t ha t t im e w e regret tha t you
w il l be unb ear abl e.

2. In a Lei p z i g e le v at or : , Do not e n t e r the lift backwards,

and o n l y w h e n lit up.

* * *
3. In a B e l g r a d e hotel e le va to r: To m o v e th e cabin, pus
b u t t o n for w i s h i n g floor. D r i v i n g is t h e n goin
a l p h a b e t i c a l l y by n a t i o n a l order.

* * *
4. In a P a r i s hotel el evat or : P l e a s e lea ve y our v al ue s a
th e fron t desk.

if-

5. In a hotel in A t h e ns : Visitors are e xp e c te d to complai

at th e office b e t w e e n th e h o u r s of 9 a nd 11 a.ni
dai ly. ]

* * *
6. In a Y u g o s l a v i a n hotel: The f l a t t e n i n g of underweal
w i t h p l e a su re is th e job of t h e chambermaid..

ik JjC ifc
7 In a J a p a n e s e hotel: You are in v ite d to take advantagl
of t h e c h a m b e r m a i d .

58
 * * *
O n th e m e n u оГ a S w i s s r e s t a u r a n t : O u r w i n e s l e a v e
you n o t h i n g to h o p e for. '

* * *
* In a H o n g K o n g s u p e r m a r k e t : F o r y o u r c o n v e n i e n c e ,
we r e c o m m e n d c o u r te o u s , e ffic ie n t self-service.

* * *
ID I n a B a n g k o k dry c l e a n e r ’s: D r o p y o u r t h r o u s e r s h e r e
for t h e b e s t re s u lts .

I I ( ) insi de a Par is d r e s s shop: D r e s s e s f o r s t r e e t w a l k i n g .

|'J, O u t s i d e a H o n g K o n g d r e s s shop: L a d ie s h av e fits

upstairs.

1,3, F r o m t h e « Sovi et We ek ly» : T h e r e w i l l b e a M o s c o w

F x h i b i t i o n of A r t s b y 1 5 , 0 0 0 S o v ie t R e p u b l i c
painters a n d sculptors. These w ere executed over
Hie p a s t t w o y e a r s .

In a n E a s t Af r ican n e w s p a p e r : A n e w s w i m m i n g - p o o l
is r a p i d l y t a k i n g s h a p e s i n c e t h e c o n t r a c t o r s h a v e
t h r o w n i n t h e b u l k of t h e i r w o r k e r s .

Ih A s ign p os t e d in G e r m a n y ’s Bl ack For es t: It is strictly

forbidden on our black fore st c a m p i n g site that
people of d i f f e r e n t sex, for i n s t a n c e , men and
wome n, live t o g e t h e r in on e t en t u n l e s s they are
married wit h each ot her for tha t purpose.
 * Jjc *

16. In a Z ur i c h hotel: B e c a u s e of th e im propri ety of

e n t e r t a i n i n g g u e s t s of t h e o p p o s i te s ex in the
be droom, it is s u g g e s t e d t ha t the lobby be used,
for t hi s purpose.

* iji *
17. In a n a d v e r t i s e m e n t by a H o n g Korrg d enti st: Teeth
e x t r a c t e d by the late st m et h o d i s ts .

* H: *
18. In a R o m e l aundry: Ladies, leave y our c lo t h e s here
a n d spervd th e a f t e r n o o n h a v i n g a g o o d time.
I n s t r u c t io n s str ic tly followed.

19. In a Sl ov a ki a n t o u r i s t a g e n cy : Take on e of our horso-

dr iven city tours — we g u a r a n t e e no miscarriages

l e a v e , yowr
c ro tk e s
here
 * * 5k
|0 A d v e r t i s e m e n t for d o n k e y rides in Thai land: W ould
you like to rid e on y o u r o w n ass?

* * *
11 O n t h e i auc e t in a Finnish w a s h r o o m : To stop th e
d rip , t u r n cock to rig h t.

* * *
In t h e w i n d o w of a S w e d i s h furrier: F u r c o a t s m a d e
for lad ies fro m t h e ir o w n skin.

5k sk H*
O n t h e box of a c l oc k w o r k t o y m a d e in H o n g Kong:
( i u a r a n t e e d to w o r k t h r o u g h o u t i ts u s e f u l life.

* * *
D e t o u r s ign in Kyushi, J a p a n : S t o p : D r i v e S i d e w a y s .

H5 5k 5k
In a S w i s s m o u n t a i n inn: S p e c i a l t o d a y — n o i c e ­
cream .

* 5k 5k
ifli In a B a n g k o k t e mp l e: I t i s f o r b i d d e n t o e n t e r a
w o m a n e v e n a f o r e i g n e r if d r e s s e d a s a m a n .

5k * 5k
4.7, In a T o k y o bar: S p e c i a l c o c k t a i l s f o r t h e l a d i e s w i t h
nuts.

5k 5k 5k
ЦН In a C o p e n h a g e n airline t i c k e t office: W e t a k e y o u r
l u i gs a n d s e n d t h e m i n a l l d i r e c t i o n s .

61
29. In a N o r w e g i a n cockt ai l l ou ng e : Lad ies are requested
no t to ha v e c h i ld r e n in t h e bar.

30. At a B u d a p e s t zoo: P l e a s e do not feed the ani mals.

If yo u ha ve a n y su i ta b l e food, give it to the guard
on duty.

* * *
31. In t h e office of a R o m a n d oc tor : S p e c i a li s t in women
a nd o t h e r dis ea s e s .

* * ^
32. In an A c a p u l c o hotel: The m a n a g e r has pers ona lly
pa ss ed all th e w a t e r se rved here.

* * *
33. In a T o k y o shop: Our ny lo ns cost more t h a n common,
but y o u ’ll f in d t h e y are best in t h e l o n g run.

* * *
34. F r o m a J a p a n e s e i n f o r m a t i on bo ok l et a b o u t u s i n g a hotel
air c o nd i ti on er : Cooles a nd Heates: If yo u w a n t just
c o n d i t i o n of wa rm in y o ur room, pl e a se control
your se lf.

• ' 1 ' * * '* Us

35. F r o m a b r o c h u r e of a c a r r en t al firm in Tokyo: Whe n

p a s s e n g e r on foot h ea ve in sigh t, to otle th e horn.
Trumpet him m e l o d i o u s l y at first, but if he still
obstacles your pass ag e then tootle him w it h vigour.
 W ho m (or w h a t) am I to trum pe t?

H umour: A P ra g m a tic Approach

P a r t A w e h a v e a p p r o a c h e d h u m o u r from a linguistic
it of view. H e r e w e will t r y to a p p r o a c h it from th e point
View of p r a g m a t i c s . P r o b a b l y t h a t will g ive u s additional
unat ion of w h a t it is t h a t m a k e s p eo pl e l a ug h. Z . F r e u d ,
ps yc ho l og i st , said, «It is a fact t h a t if w e t r y to e x a m i n e
I to e x p l a i n t h e t e c h n i q u e s of a j o k e , t h e j o k e will
ppear». N e v e r t h e l e s s , I believe it is useful arid i n t e r e s t i n g
e x a m i n e s o m e of t h e c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s of h u m o u r from a
■ i C i n a t i c p o in t of view.
I ' m p m a t i c s is t h e s t u d y of t h e w a y l a n g u a g e is u s e d in
licular s i t u a t i o n s , a n d is t h e r e f o r e c o n c e r n e d w i t h the
1Clions of w o r d s a s a p p o s e d t o t h e i r f or ms . It deal s wi th
intention of t h e s p e a k e r , a n d t h e w a y in w h i c h t h e li st ener
H i t p r e t s w h a t is said. P r a g m a t i c f act or s a l w a y s i nfluence
НИг s e l ec t io n of s o u n d s , g r a m m a t i c a l c o n s t r u c t i o n s , a nd
H t i n b u l a r y from t h e r e s o u r c e s of t h e l a n g u a g e .

63
A l ar ge n u m b e r of fact ors g o v e r n o u r c hoi ce of l a n g u a g e in
social i n t e r ac t io n . F r o m this po in t of v i e w t h e r e is m u c h in
c o m m o n b e t w e e n p r a g m a t i c s a n d s e m a n t i c s . For e x a mp l e ,
p r a g m a t i c s a nd s e m a n t i c s both t a k e into a c c o u n t s uc h notions
as t h e i n t e n t i o n s of t h e s p e a k e r , t h e effects of an u t t e r a n c e
on l i s te n er s , t h e i m p l ic a ti o ns t h a t follow from e x p r e s s i n g
s o m e t h i n g in a c e r t a i n w a y, a n d p r e s u p p o s i t i o n s a b o u t t h e
wo r l d u p o n w h i c h t h e s p e a k e r a n d t h e l is te ne rs rely w h e n
t h e y i n t e r a c t . T h a t m a k e s it so difficult for an Fmglish l ea rn e r
to c a t c h a j oke, t h o u g h he m a y k n o w the l a n g u a g e q u i t e
well. P r o b a b l y t h a t w a s w h a t Virgini a Wo o l f m e a n t w h e n
s h e said, « H u m o u r is t h e first of t h e gifts to peri sh in a
foreign t o n g u e » . ( Vi rgi ni a Woolf, <Юп No t K now in g Greek»,
The C ommon R ead er : First Series, 1925).
H e r e j o k e s a r e d i v i d e d i n t o s e v e r a l t y p e s of h u m o u r
( a c c o r d i n g to A n d r e w W r i g h t in his b o ok « H o w t o be
Entertaining», C am bridge U niversity Press, Cambridge —
L on d o n — N e w Yor k, 1991) w i t h il l u st r at io ns from P a r t B.
A f te r y o u g o t h r o u g h t h e e x p l a n a t i o n s t r y to decide in wh i ch
t y p e y o u w o u l d p u t t h e j o k e s of P a r t B. M o s t likely you
w o u l d n e e d n e w s e ct i o n s . T r y t o define t h e m .

a) Superiority
T h e r e a r e m a n y j o k e s ba se d o n t h e s t e r e o t y p e d idea t h a t
w o m e n t al k m o r e t h a n m e n a nd h e n ce , m e n are s u p e r i o r to
w o m e n . E.g.

— D o y ou k n o w w h y w e call o u r l a n g u a g e t h e m o t h e r
tongue?
— B e c a u s e F a t h e r n e v e r g e t s a c h a n c e to u s e it.
T h o u g h t h e s i tu a t i o n m a y be t h e r e ve r se . E.g.

Hu sb an d: W e had a d r i n k i n g c o m p e t i t i o n at t h e club last

n i g h t.
Wi fe: O h , w h o w a s s e c o n d ?

b ) O u r i d e n t i t y in a g r o u p
W e of ten t h i n k it f unny w h e n s o m e o n e d o e s n' t b e h a v e like
o t h e r p eo pl e in t h e g r o up . E.g.

64
M o t h e r ( at di nn e r) : P e g g y , darling, y ou should n ot s c r a t c h
y o u r n o s e w i t h y o u r s p oo n.
P a ggy : O h , M o t h e r , o u g h t 1 to h a v e u se d a fork?

c ) L a u g h i n g at ou r s o c ie t y
S o m e peopl e a r e critical of p a r t s of t he i r soci et y. So t h e y
tell j o k e s to t ry to m a k e t h i n g s s e e m to be ridiculous. E.g.
W h a t t his c o u n t r y n e e d s is a m a n w h o c a n be right and
P r e s i d e n t at t h e s a m e t i me .

d ) L a u g h in g at ourselves
S o m e t i m e s w e j u s t w a n t to la ug h a b o u t o u r o wn b e h a vi o u r
w'hen w e t a k e o u r s e l v e s t o o ser iously. E.g.
T h e l o n g e s t five y e a r s in a w o m a n ’s life a r e b e t w e e n t w e n t y -
nine a nd thirt y.

e ) Surprise and su d d en n ess

A lot of j o k e s a re f u n n y b e c a u s e w e d o n ’t e x p e c t t h e e n di n g.
T h e e n d i n g is a s ur p r i s e . E.g.
Harry: S h e s u r e g a v e y ou a dir ty look.
Pete: W h o ?
Harry: M o t h e r N a t u r e .

f) T h e illo g ica l
If s o m e t h i n g is logical it is r e a s o n a b l e a nd in Britain an
illogical kind of h u m o u r is v e r y c o m m o n . E. g.
Willie: I h a v e an awful t o o t h a c h e .
Tommie: I’d h a v e it t a k e n o u t if it w a s mine.
W ill ie : If it w a s y o ur s , I wo ul d, too.

3 Зак. 1974
Section 4. Achievement Test
In y o u r final t e s t y o u ’ll find a s e ri es of q u i z z e s to t e s t y o u r
profi ci ency in g oo d En gl is h by a p p l y i n g t h e p r i n c i p le s a nd
rul es s e t forth in t h e p r e vi o u s s e c t i o n s of t he book. T h e
q u e s t i o n s t h a t c o m e be lo w ar e a m i xe d b a g of p o te nti al
e r r o r s m a d e by foreign s t u d e n t s and funnily e n o u g h
s o m e t i m e s by n a t i v e s p e a k e r s in t h e choi ce of wo rd s, t e n s e s ,
v er ba l s, d a n g l i n g p ar t ic i pies, p r o n o u n s a g r e e m e n t , p hr as al
v e r b s a n d s y n t a c t i c a l c omp o si ti o n .

D o n ’t let t h e e nd of t hi s book m e a n t he e nd of y o u r i n t e r e s t
in good Eng l is h. T h e t h i n g s you have lear nt h er e a re only
t h e first h a r v e s t on y o u r w a y to power f ul Engl is h.

Direct ion s:
E a c h s e n t e n c e c o n t a i n s o n e a m u s i n g e r r or of t h e aforesaid
kind.

S p ot t h e e r r or a n d w r i t e d o w n t h e c o r r e c t v e rs i on on an
a n s w e r s h e e t . You will find t h e a n s w e r s to all t h e 105
q u e s t i o n s in t h e e n d of t h e book.

T he k n o w l e d g e y o u h av e a c q u i r e d from t hi s book and y o u r

e n t h u s i a s t i c p e r s i s t e n c e will c a r r y you s u c c e s s f u l l y to the
end of t h e t est .

G o ahead!

I. F i n d a n d C o r r e c t :
Г. The e xc it ed m o v i e d r e w large c r o w d s of e xc it ed children
e ve r y S a t u r d a y .

2 Ba ch el or s, as a rule, are u n i n t e r e s t i n g in m a r r i a g e

3 He effected his friends with his p a t h e t i c st or y.

4. T h e r e is n o b o d y h e r e but 1.

5. He is one of t h o s e w h o believes e v e r y t h i n g .

6. He is a n g r y w i t h his friend’s c o l dn e ss t o w a r d s him

66
7. T he d a n c e r s s p i n n e d a r o u n d in a circle.
8. T h e f a mi ly. ti ri ng af t er t he e x h a u s t i n g t r i p , fell a s l e e p as
s oo n as t h e y w e n t to bed.
9. M o n e y s p e n t on frivolous i t e m s is m o n e y c o m p l e t e l y
wasting.
10. S o m e ol th e c i t y ’s s w i m m i n g pools w e r e closed si nce
t he end оГ s u m m e r .
I 1. By t his t i me n e x t y ea r, m o s t s t u d e n t s will leave school
a nd r e t u r n h o me .
12 T h e family has sold its s u m m e r h o me .
13 E i t h e r M a r t i n o r J o h n will give t he ir r e p o r t next .
14. T h e t e a c h e r m a d e all t h e s e i m p r o v e m e n t s t h e m s e l v e s .
15. Se v er a l p r o p o s a l s h ave b ee n d o n e c o n c e r n i n g d e s i g n s
for t h e new' civic c e n tr e .
16. T h e d o c t o r s t a t e d t h a t he had r a t h e r t r e a t t h e w o m a n
on an o u t - p a t i e n t basis.
17. T he boy ran p a s s e d t h e h ous e.
18. Act ual ly, by t h e t i m e C o l u m b u s a rrived to A m e r i c a in
1492, o t h e r E u r o p e a n s had already reached the N e w ' Wo r l d .
19. S t u d e n t s are e x p e c t e d to a t t e n d c l a s s e s r eg ul a rl y , m a k e
t h e i r h o m e w o r k a n d d r es s a p pr op r i a t e l y .
20. T he Q u e e n M a r y g re et ed m y eyes, w a l k i n g a lo n g Riverside
Drive.
21. T h o u g h c o m i n g late, the d i n n e r w'as w a i t i n g for him on
t h e table.
22. To a p p r e c i a t e t h e s e d r e s se s , t h e y m u s t be s e en .
23. N o s o o n e r he e n t e r e d th e h o u s e t h a n t h e d o g b ar ke d at
him.
24. H e had told t h e m t h e t r u t h , t h a t t h e y m a y be p r ep a r e d
lor the wo r s t .
25. H e p r e t e n d s a limp as if he is lame.
26. I h a d n ' t o u g h t to h av e d o n e it.
27. W h y d o n ’t you m a k e t h e d i s p u l e off wi th her?
28. I’v e g o t a l o n g a lot of c o r r e s p o n d e n c e .

29. H e e x p l ai ne d m e t h e m e a n i n g of t h e wo rd .
30. S t i m u l a t e d by th e t e a c h e r ' s p r e s en t a t i o ns , t he class asked
m a n y thought-provoked questions,
31. At t h e t ime of his d e a t h J o h n K e n n e d y h a s still Been in
■ his forties.
32. O n e o r th e o t h e r of t h e s e p e ople m u s t give in their
arguments.
33. R u n n i n g h o m e t h r o u g h t he s n o w , h e r n o se got e x t r e m e l y
cold.
34. A f te r a brief i n t e r r u p t i o n w e p r o ce e de d wi th class.
35. H i s s t o r y rose a blush on a y o u n g girl's c he ek s.
36. H a r v e y i n ve n te d t h e c i rc ul at io n of t h e blood.
37. W e m u s t d eta in o u r j o u r n e y until t h e w e a t h e r improves.,
38. T h e s c i s s o r s h a s a s h a r p end.
39. H e suffered from a s ce pt i c infection in t h e elbow.
40. T h e s o o n e r you do it, t h e best.
41. T h e fish w a s t a k e n o u t of th e ic ebox a nd h a n d e d to
M a r y stiff as a board.
42. H e s p o k e a b o u t baseball a nd o l h e r s p o r t s of t h o s e kind.
43. T h e oc c asi on calls at a p r o m p t act ion.
44. T he d o c t o r said t h e d i se as e had c h a n g e d from a c u t e to
c hr onic le .

45. As to myself, w h o have n e v er read t h e book, I can sa y

n o t h i n g a b o u t it.
46. T h e y had a v e r se w i n d s t h r o u g h o u t t h e v oy a ge .
47. I c a n ' t put on wi th all his t r ic ks a nd jo ke s.
48. H e m o s t l y collapsed from his hard wor k.
68
49. I t 's one t h i n g to itch for s o m e t n i n g a n d q u i t e a n o t h e r
t h i n g s c r a t c h i n g for it.
50. T h a t ’s a habit t ha t s hould be d o ne off w it h by all m e a n s .
51. W a l k i n g into t he airport, t he pl ane had a l re a dy left.
52. D o n ’t m a k e it c on f i de n ti a l w i t h him. H e ’s gi ve o u t
e v e r y b o d y ’s s e c r et .
53. I’ll tell h im into j oining us.
54. Is t h e r e a n y c a u s e w h y yo u s h o u l d n ’t c o m e ?
55. I se t his poor h ea l th on h e a v y dr inki ng.
56. I w a s g r e a t l y en joy ed by t h e c o m e d i a n .
57. T h ei r p l an s c h a n g e d and t h e y called o u t t h e picnic.
58. T h e y h a rdl y h a v e a n y e v i d e n c e t o offer.
59. Ar e you g o i n g to invite a n y b o d y m o r e ?
60. T h e d a t a is w r o n g , you d o n ’t s e e m to go t h r o u g h it.
61. S h e w o r e a d r e s s t h a t t h e s t r i p e s m a d e he r look like a
s t i c k of C h r i s t m a s c andy.
62. T h e y w e r e afraid t h e y h a d n ’t lain u p e n o u g h m o n e y for
t h e i r old a ge.
63. M r s . W o o d r u f f o r g a n i z e d a club for mo t he r- in- la ws .
64. To a p p r e c i a t e d , you m u s t s e e it for yourself.
65. F r a n k ’s j ob is s i mi l a r w i t h Bill’s.
66. His a r g u m e n t w a s so s p a c i o u s t h a t it a p p e a r e d plausible.
67. To m a k e a l o n g s t o r y s h o r t , let m e i ll umi na te all t h e
necessary passages.
68. N e i t h e r Gail nor M a r y h a v e been invited to t h e part y.
69. D o n ’t a c t like y ou had n e v e r s e e n him.

70. P l e a s e , k e e p a w a y t h a t s u b j e c t .
71. T h e police k ep t a file on t h e p e o pl e r e p o r t i n g to be
dangerous.

69
72. In t h e e ar ly p a r t of t h e t w e n t i e t h c e n t u r y , i m m i g r a n t s
h a ve been c o m i n g to A m e r i c a in g r e a t n u m b e r s .
73. It r ai ne d h eavi ly wh i c h c a u s e d t h e picnic to be cancelled.
74. T h e f or e ma n of t h e j u r y raised to his feet a nd a dd re ss e d
t h e j u d g e.
75. A m e r i c a n f a r m er s have historical ly b ee n e x t r a o r d i n a r y
p r o d uc t i ve . £
76. B o t h Los A n g e l e s and Phi ladelphi a are b e t w e e n th e five
m o s t p o p u l a r cities in t h e U n i t e d S t a t e s .
77. P e o p l e in t h e U n i t e d S t a t e s h av e r e c e n t l y t a k e n to
t r a v e l l i n g on bicycle.
78. T h e g e ne r a l p re di ct ed t h a t t h e w a r w a s i m m a n e n t .
79. N o n e of u s had a n y m o n e y b e s id e s J a n e .
80. I w a s r i n g i n g t h e bell six t im es .
81. A n o t h e r e v id e n c e w a s offered.
82. T h e p a g e s in t hi s book are m o s t l y u n c ut .
83. I d i d n ’t e x p e c t s u r v i v i n g it for long.
84. T h e y a re g o i n g to se t in a n o t h e r c o m m i t t e e .
85. Is t h a t y ou w h o h a s d on e t h e c ak e ?

II. E a c h of t h e f o l l o w i n g s e n t e n c e s h a s m o r e t h a n
one reading.
By a d d i n g n e c e s s a r y s ig n al s of s tru ct ur a l m e a n i n g
or c h a n g i n g t h e s e n t e n c e s t r u c t u r e m a k e t h e
sentences unambiguous.
86. Plan m o v e s slowly.
87. J o h n found a book on B ro a dw ay .

88. H e is a m a n to w a t c h .
89. Fr ed er ic t he G r e a t de cl a re s Vol tai re is an ass.
90. N a v y w i t n e s s e s s m o k e .

70
91. B e a u t y m a r k s b lo ss om.
92. H e is a cr imi nal lawyer.
93. Shi p sails today.
94. T hi s is an En g l is h s p e a k i n g p ar r ot .

95. H e deci ded on th e boat.

96. W o m a n w i t h o u t h e r m a n is a s a v a g e .
97. H e r e are s o m e m o r e beautiful w o m e n .
98. H e d i d n ’t b ea t his wife b e c a u s e he loved her.

99. S h e h a d he r p u r s e stolen.
100. T h e y left him to t a k e c ar e ol t h e w o u n d e d .
101. T he m i n i s t e r s c o n s t i t u t e d t h e g o v e r n m e n t .
102. Thi s c o a t is w a r m .
103. T h e children f or me d a c li que .
104. T i m e flies.
105. T h e girl y ou m e n t i o n e d r e c e n t l y c a m e t o t h e office.
Answer Key
Section 1
A-I.
1. b e s i d e s
be si de m e a n s at t h e side of, close to
b es i de s m e a n s in addi tion
*
2. a l t e r n a t i v e
a l t e r n a t e m e a n s d o n e by t u r n
a l t e r n at i v e m e a n s c h o s e n

3. e c o n o m i c
e c o n om i c a l m e a n s s a vi ng , t hr if ty
e c o n o m i c m e a n s r el at ed to e c o n o m y

4. q u i e t
quite means entirely,altogether
q u i e t m e a n s peaceful

5. c h a n n e l s
canal m e a n s a n a r r o w pi ece of w a t e r
channel m e a n s that t h r o u g h wh i c h information, ne ws, trade
passes

6 . mostly
m o s t m e a n s q u i t e ( m o d i f y i n g a v e rb )
m o s t l y m e a n s chiefly, g e n e r a l l y

7. c o n t in u a l
c o n t i n u o u s m e a n s U n i n t e r r u p t e d in t i me
c on ti nu al m e a n s a l w a y s g o i n g on, i n c e s s a n t

8 . bad *
badl y m e a n s not well
ba d m e a n s not well wi t h v e r b s of p e r ce pt io n

9. accepted
e x c e p t e d m e a n s e x cl ud e d
a c c e p t e d m e a n s t a k e n or r ecei ved

72
10. a l m o s t
m o s t m e a n s q u i t e ( m o d i f y i n g a ve rb )
a l m o s t m e a n s n e a rl y ( u s e d w i t h adj ect ive. s. or a d v e r b s )

11. g e n e r a l
g e n e r o u s m e a n s l av i sh ing
general m eans com m on

12. e m i n e n t
imminent means threatening
eminent means outstanding

13. fo r m e r ly
formally m e a n s con ve nti on a lly in a c c o r d a n c e with t h e rules
f or me r l y m e a n s in t h e p a s t

14. sp a c io u s
s p e c i o u s m e a n s d e c e p t i v e l y beaut iful
s p a c i o u s m e a n s of w i d e d i m e n s i o n s

15. cr ed ib le
c r e d u l o u s m e a n s r e a d y to believe
c redible m e a n s w o r t h y of belief

16. a dv e r s e
a v e r s e m e a n s unwi l li ng, disinclined
a d v e r s e m e a n s a c t i n g a g a i n s t , in a c o n t r a r y di r ecti on

17. n o t o r io u s
n o t e d m e a n s c e l e br a t ed , u s e d in a fa vo ur ab le s e n s e
n ot o ri ou s m e a n s g en e ra l ly k n o w n in an u n f av ou ra bl e s e n s e

18. s t i m u l u s
a s t i m u l a n t is a c o n c r e t e t h i n g like coffee or alcohol
a s t i m u l u s is a g e n e r a l i n c e nt i v e t h a t r o u s e s t h e m i n d or
spirit

19. p l a u s ib le
plosive m e a n s c h a r a c t e r i s e d b y plosion
pl ausi bl e m e a n s a cc e pt ib le

73
20. precede
to p r o c e e d m e a n s to a d v a n c e
to p r e c e d e m e a n s to g o before

21. pr o s e cu ti o n
a p e r s e c u t i o n is a c a m p a i g n to d e s t r o y a w a y of life or
r e p e a t e d a c t s i n t e n d e d to a nnoy.
a p r o s e c u t i o n m e a n s as a ppos ed t o defence, a c o m p l a i n i n g
p a rt y

22. c o n t e m p t u o u s
contemptible m e a ns deserving contempt
c on te m p tu o u s m eans expressing contempt

23. e x c e p t i o n a l
e x c e p t i o n a b l e m e a n s o bj ect i onabl e, liable to e x c ep t i o n
e x c e p ti o na l m e a n s not or di nar y, s u p e r i o r

24. a v o c a ti o n
a m a n ’s a v o c a t i o n is his h o bby
a m a n ’s v o c a t i o n is his w o r k

25. rise
raise ( t r a n s i t i v e ) m e a n s to pick u p s m t h
rise ( i n t r a n s i t i v e ) m e a n s g e t up

A-II
I. b y c h a n c e ; 2. play; 3. j o b / w o r k ; 4. rej ec te d; 5. controlled;
6. s u g g e s t e d ; 7. i n v e nt e d ; 8. t h e r e as on ; 9. a m u s e d ; 10. soil;
I I . to spoil; 12. r eveal ed; 13. bl ame; 14. tal king; 15. delayed;
16. e x a m i n e ; 17. t e m p e r ; 18. Гапсу; 19. do; 20. d e n i e d ;
21. accepted; 22. shared; 23. almost; 24. besides; 25. general;
26. learn; 27. lucky; 28. else; 29. sick; 30. v a c a n t ;
31. t r e m b l i n g ; 3 2. a w k w a r d ; 33. e x c e p t ; 34. y e t ; 35 . pairs;
36. b o r r o w ; 37. solve; 38. offer; 39. good; 40. c a m e acr oss;
41. a t t r a c t e d ; 42. a n n o u n c e d ; 43 . p e r s u a d e d ; 4 4. lonely;
45. e x p e c t i n g ; 46. possibility; 47. elect; 48. conceal;
49. h es i t at e; 50. f a m o us .

74
Illus tra ti ve e x a m p l e s of s y n o n y m o u s w o r d s gi ven in
A-II.

1. H e c o m e s h e r e o c ca s io n al l y (from t i me to t i me ) .
I called at t hi s office by c h a n c e (it so h a p p e n e d ) .

2. I .et ’s h av e a g a m e of w h i s t ( form of p lay wi th rules).

T h e chi ldren ar e at play ( a m u s e m e n t , r e cr e a t i o n ) .

3. T he w o r k of b u i ld i n g the n e w s chool took six m o n t h s

( u s e of bodily or m e n t a l p o w e r ).
He ha s lost his j ob ( e m p l o y m e n t , posi t ion).

4. T h e y - r e f u s e d m e p e r m i s s i o n ( s a y ‘no' to a r e q u e s t or
offer).
He r e j ec t ed a h e a r t t r a n s p l a n t ( r ef us e to a c c e p t ) .

5. Will you p l e as e c h e c k t h e s e figures? (To learn if i t ’s

c o r re c t) .
W h o c o n t r o l s t h e e x p e r i m e n t s ? (Regulate)-.
6. H e w a s offered a j o b in Chile ( p ro p o s e s m t h ma te ri al ) .
H e s u g g e s t e d g o i n g to t h e t h e a t r e ( p r o p o s e an idea,
possibility).

7. C o l u m b u s d is c ov e re d A me r i c a , b u t did n o t e xpl or e t h e
n e w c o n t i n e n t ( g e t k n o w l e d g e of s m t h ye t u n k n o w n ) .
W h e n w a s t h e s t e a m e n g i n e i n v e n t e d ? ( C r e a t e or desi gn
s m t h n o t e x i s t i n g before).

8. T h e c a u s e of t h e fire w a s c a r e l e s s n e s s ( t h i n g t h a t m a k e s
s m t h h a pp e n ) .
Is t h e r e a n y r e a s o n w h y you s h ou ld no t he l p? ( F a c t p ut
forward as j us tif ic at ion for s m t h ) .

9. His foolish jokes a mu s ed all of us (make s m b laugh or smile).

I’ve enjoyed talking to you about old times (get pleasure from).

10. L e t ' s sit on t h e g r o u n d (solid s ur f ac e of t h e e a r t h) .

Thi s soil is p oo r for f a r mi n g ( t he u p p e r l ayer of e a r th
in w h i c h p l a n t s , t r e e s g r o w) .

11. T h e s t o r m d a m a g e d t he c r op s ( in ju ry t h a t c a u s e s loss of
value)..

75
 D o n ’t spoil y o u r a p p e t i t e by e a t i n g s w e e t s just before
d i n n e r ( m a k e u se l e s s or u n s a ti sf a ct or y ).

12. D e p a r t m e n t s t o r e s display t h e i r g oo d s in t he w i n d o w s
( s h o w or s p r e a d o u t so t h a t t h e r e is n o difficulty in
seeing).
O n e d a y t h e t r u t h a b o u t t h e s e e v e n t s will be reveiled
(m ake known).
13. H e b l a m e d t h e t e a c h e r for his failure (fix on st u b t h e
r es po n si bi l it y for s m t h ) .
W e all conderfin c r u e l t y to chil dren ( s a y t h a t s m b has
done sm th wrong).
14. I c a n ’t tell you h o w happy I a m (give information to smb).
W h a t ar e you t a l k i n g a b o u t ? ( S a y t hi ngs ).
15. I w a s d e la y ed b y t h e traffic ( m a k e or be slow, or late).
H e told his wife t h a t he ha d b e e n d e t a in e d in t h e office
by u n e x p e c t e d cal ler s ( k e e p w a i t in g , k ee p back).
16. You s ho ul d h av e y o u r e y e s e x a m i n e d (look at carefully
in o r d e r to learn a b o u t s m t h ) .
T h e y i n s p e c t u s t e n t i m e s a w e e k (visit officially t o se e
t h a t r ul es are obe ye d) .
17. I a m n ot in t h e m o o d for w o r k ( s t a t e of mi nd or spirits).
S h e is a s w e e t girl w h e n s h e is in a g o o d t e m p e r
(c on d i ti on of mind).
18. E v e r y m o t h e r has affection t o w a r d h e r children (kindly
feeling, love).
T he chi ldren h a v e t a k e n q u i t e a fancy to their c ou s i n
(f ondness, liking).
19. W h e n in R o m e do as t h e R o m a n s do ( ac t, beha ve ).
S h e m a d e coffee for all of u s ( c o n s t r u c t or p r od u ce from
ma t er i al ) .
20. T h e y r ef us ed m e p e rm is s i o n ( s a y «по» to a r e q u e s t or
offer).
He denied this to be the c a s e ( s a y t h a t s m t h is not t ru e) .
21. C o n g r e s s a d o p t ed th e n e w m e a s u r e s ( t a k e an idea or
custom).

76
 He a s k e d he r t o m a r r y hi m a n d s h e a c c e p t e d his proposal
( c o n c e n t to, r ec ei ve s m t h offered).

22. H e divides his t im e b e t w e e n w o r k a nd play ( s e p a r a l e ,

split or b re a k up).
I will s h a r e t h e c o s t w i t h you ( h a v e in c o m m o n ) .

23. W e are m o s t l y o ut on S u n d a y s (chiefly, g ener al l y) .

T h a t ' s a m i s t a k e he a l m o s t a l w a y s m a k e s ( near l y) .

24. I h a v e t h r e e o t h e r h a t s b e s id e s t hi s (in addi ti on to).

N o b o d y w a s late e x c e p t m e ( n o t includi ng) .
25. This w o r d is in g e ne r a l u s e (all or n e a rl y all).
T h e y h av e En gl i s h as a c o m m o n l a n g u a g e ( u se d by all
members).
26. H a s he lear nt his l es s o n s ? ( Ga i n k n o w l e d g e by s t ud y ,
p r ac t ic e ).
He w a s s t u d y i n g for t h e me di c al pr of ession (give t i me
to lear ning) .
27. You are lucky t o be alive af ter b e i n g in t h a t acc id e nt
( h a v i n g a good c h a n c e , fo r tu ne ).
W e s h al l be h a p p y t o a c c e p t y o u r ki nd i n v i t a t i o n
( c o n t e n t e d , satisfied).
28. W o u l d you like s o m e m o r e s o u p ? ( Addi ti onal a m o u n t ,
number).
A sk s o m e b o d y e ls e t o h el p y o u ( b e s i d e s , a n y o t h e r
p e r so n ) .

29. H e is a sick m a n ( unwe ll) .

S h e w a s ill at t h a t t i m e (in bad h ealt h) .

30. Is this s eat v a c a n t ? ( N o t o c cu pi ed by a n y o n e ) .

This box is e m p t y ( c o n t a i n i n g n o t h i ng ) .
31. His voi ce t r e m b l e d w i t h a n g e r ( s h a k e u n v o lu n ta r il y ).
H e s h o o k his head ( m o v e from side to side).

32. T he ha ndl e of this t e a p o t h a s an a w k w a r d s h a p e (no!

well d e s ig n ed ) .
T he c l u m s y w o r k m a n p u t his el bo w t h r o u g h t h e w i n d o w
a nd br ok e it ( h e a v y and u n g r a c e f u l in m o v e m e n t ) .

77
3 3. S e e 24.
34. T h e y a r e n o t h e r e y e t ( u p t o n o w in negat ive, or
interrogative sentences).
H e still h o p e s for a l e t t e r from h e r ( t o t hi s t i m e in
affi rmat i ve s e n t e n c e s ) .

35. P l e a s e m a k e a n effort to arrive e a r ly ( v i g o r o u s a t t e m p t ) .

T a k e g r e a t p a i ns to p l e a se y o u r b o s s ( t a k e g r e a t t roubl e).

36. I c a n ’t lend m o n e y to e v e r y o n e ( give).

M a y I b o r r o w y o u r p e n ? ( Take) .

37. I c a n ’t so lv e t hi s p u z z l e (find t h e a n s w e r t o t h e pr ob le m) .
H e could n o t de ci de w h a t t o do ( m a k e u p o n e ’s mind).

38. S e e 6.
39. H e s p e a k s E n g l is h well (in a g oo d m a n n e r , adv. wit h
v er bs ).
H e is a g o o d s p e a k e r (of high qu al it y, adj. w i t h n o u n s ) .

40. I c a m e a c r o s s t hi s old b r o a ch in a c u r io s h o p (find or

m e e t by c h a n c e ) .
P l e a s e hel p M a r y t o find h e r h a t ( g e t ( b a c k ) af t e r a
s e a r ch ) .

41. H e d r e w m y a t t e n t i o n t o a point I ha d o v e rl oo k e d ( a t t r a c t
smb).
A m a g n e t a t t r a c t s s teel (pull f orward, g e t t h e a t t e n t i o n
of s m b ) .

42. T h e g o v e r n m e n t a n n o u n c e d t h a t t h e d a n g e r w a s past
( m a k e k n o w n orally).
I d e clar e t h is m e e t i n g cl osed ( a n n o u n c e formally).

43. H o w c an I p e r s u a d e you of m y s in c e r i t y ? ( C o n v i n c e by
r e as o n i n g ) .
W e c o u l d n ’t c o n v i n c e hi m of his m i s t a k e ( m a k e feel
c e rt ai n) .

44. I w a s a lonely tr avel ler in t h a t part ( w i t h o u t c o m p a n i o n s ) .

You c a n n o t lift t h e p i a n o al on e ( b y your sel f ).

78
45. W a i t Гог m e , p l e as e ( s t a y w h e r e o n e is).
W e e x p e c t e d you y e s t e r d a y ( t h i n k or believe t h a t s m t h
will h a p p e n or c o m e ) .

46. T h e o p p o r t u n i t y for t h e r e f o r m e r s t o do t hi s c a m e in
(f av ou ra bl e t i m e or c h a n c e ) .
I a d m i t t h e possibi li ty of y o u r b e i n g right ( li kelyhood)
47. T h e y ele ct e d M r . G r e e n to t h e A c a d e m y ( s el ec t b y vot e).
W h o ha s b ee n s e l e c t e d to do t h e j ob? ( Ca r ef ul l y c h o se n ).
48. S h e tr ied t o hide b e hi n d t h e t r e e ( k e e p o u t of s i gh t ) .
H e tried to c on c ea l t h e fact ( to k e e p s e c r e t ) .
49. H e ’s still h e s i t a t i n g a b o u t j o i n i n g t h e e x p ed it i o n ( s h o w
s i gn s of u n c e r t a i n t y ) .
1 d o u b t t h e t r u t h of t hi s r ep o rt ( h e s i t a t e t o believe).
50. H e is a f a m o u s s c i e n t i s t (wi de ly k n o w n , h a v i n g f ame ) .
He is a n o t o r i o u s cri mi na l (wi de ly k n o w n for s m t h bad).

B-I
1. t o m e ; 2. for a l i g h t ; 3. c o n v i n c e d of; 4. s u r p r i s e d at;
5. r emi nd m e ; 6. i n fl ue nc e him; 7. s u c c e e d in; 8. f a m o u s for;
9. c o n s u l t t h e di ct i o n a r y; 10. m e n t i o n e d it; 11. at public
m e e t i n g s ; 12. s in ce last S u n d a y ; 13. t h r o u g h t h e w i nd o w ;
14. m a d e of; 15. in f r o n t of t h e w i n d o w ; 16, h a l f a mile;
17. go t m a r r i ed to; 18. l isten to; 19. kind t o m e; 20. d e p e n d s
o n; 2 1 . a f e a r of a n d r e s p e c t for; 2 2 . i n d e n t i c a l w i t h ;
2 3 . simi lar to; 24. fit for service; 25. in s e a r c h of a d v e n t u r e .

B-II
I. a n g r y at his s il ence; 2. a s k for it; 3. c o r r e c t ; 4. go od at;
5. on m y b ir t hd ay ; 6. c o r re c t ; 7. at his o w n a c c o u n t ; 8. in
mind; 9. c or rect ; 10. c or re c t; 11. pa y a t t e n t i o n to; 12. correct;
13. d o ne to y o u r hair; 14. c or re ct ; 15. do you; 16. pr eferabl e
to; 17. c or r ec t ; 18. a n g r y w i t h e ac h o t he r ; 19. c o n t e m p o r a r y
of; 20. correct; 21. to his proposal; 22. c or r ec t ; 23. o w e me;
24. c or re ct ; 25. s e e it yoursel f.

79
С -I
Г. h a v e k n o w n ; 2. h ad ; 3. r a n g ; 4. s h o u l d h a v e a r r i v e d ;
5. d i d n ’t see; 6. belongs; 7. I help; 8. do you have; 9. had
m e t ; 10. s h o ul d get; 11. s a w ; 12. h a d n ’t as k e d; 13. h a d n ’t
r ained; 14. have been curing; 15. does not ov er t u r n; 16. have
s w u m ; 17. h a v e driven; 18. w ou l d have; 19. had had; 20. to
h a v e e m b e z z l e d ; 21. to see; 22. a ske d; 23. can; 24. s ta r t e d ;
25. h a v e e a t e n .

C -II
1. died; 2. c o r r ec t ; 3. played; 4. u se d to; 5. c or r ec t ; 6. hadr r’t
e a t e n ; 7. H a s t he r ace b ee n p o s t p o n e d ; 8, w a s ma d e; 9. will
y ou s p e ak ; 10. c or r ec t ; 11. w e r e ; 12. c or re ct ; 13. will be
i m p r o v e d ; 14. I r ea d; 15. c o r r e c t ; 16. D o y o u h a v e to;
17. c o r r ec t ; 18. c or re ct ; 19. to h av e e x a m i n e d ; 20. c or re ct ;
21. w a s bored; 22. c or rect ; 23. go; 24. c or re ct ; 25. to hear ing.

D - I . T h e c o r r e c t e d s e n t e n c e s s hou ld read:

1. I w a n t a c h e c k book t h a t folds in t h e mi ddl e to p r e s e n t to

m y boyfriend.
2. W a t c h i n g a m y s t e r y d r a m a on m y tel evi si on set, I s a w t h e
m u r d e r e d m a n lyi ng c r u m p l e d on t h e sidewal k.
3. W h i l e he w a s t a k i n g a s h o w e r , t he t e l e p h o n e rang.
4. W h e n he is el ec te d, m a n y r e f o r ms will be i n t r od u ce d .
5. A f a m o u s biologist, w h o had u n s u c c e s s f u l l y tried to t e a c h
a m o n k e y to play ball d ec i de d as a last r e s o r t to l eave t h e
little a n i m a l alone ...

6. T h e w o r s t t h i n g a b o u t h i s to r y is t h a t e v e r y t i m e it r e p e a t s
itself t h e price g oe s up.
7. To i nsur e a long life, obser ved Dr.Adolf Lorenz, be m o d e r a t e
in all t h i n g s , b ut n ot m i s s i n g a n y t h i n g .
8. A picnic is an o c ca si on w h e n people e at h a m a nd e g g and
m osquito sandwitches.

80
9 W a n t e d — a m a n w h o c a n s p e a k G e r m a n to w o r k on a
P e n n s y l v a n i a D u t c h farm, to t a k e c a r e of c h i c k e n s, c ows
a nd pigs.

10. S h e w o r e a d r e s s w h o s e s t r i p e s m a d e h e r look like a

s t i c k of C h r i s t m a s c a nd y.
1 I. S h e a s k e d h e r b r o t h e r if s h e could b o r r o w his car.
12. S p e e d i n g at 6 0 mi les, t h e c a r hit t w o p e d e s t r i a ns .
13 W a n t e d — a b oy t h a t ( w h o ) c an ride a bicycle to deliver
telegrams.
14. T h e y are s l a v es w h o d ar e not s p e a k for t he fallen and
the weak.

15. H e testified in t h e c o u r t h o u s e t h a t t h e b u s had run into

him a n d t h r o w n him d o wn .

D-II.
1. c or r ec t .
2. H e w a s a b o y s c o u t , said Bob H a w k , until he w a s 16, and
t h e n he b e c a m e a h u n t e r .
3. I d o n ’t t h i n k you h av e s e e n m y wife.
4. c or r ec t .
5. A t o r n a d o is a whirl u n d e r a f u nn e l - s h a p e d cloud.
6. H e w a s e x h a u s t e d and w e n t to sleep.
7. c or r ec t .
8. It d o e s n ’t m a t t e r h o w m u c h a dvi ce w e gi ve him he does
e x a c t l y w h a t he w a n t s .

9 S i n c e y ou k n o w t he a n s w e r , w h y d i d n ’t y ou s p e a k up?
10. W h a t w e n e e d is p l e n t y of time.
1 1. c or r ec t .

12. T h e P r i n c e s s , w e a r i n g a red d re s s, m e t t he P r es i d e n t .
13. It w a s by train t h a t w e r ea ch e d I s t a n bu l.

81
14. c or re ct .
15. It w a s t h e a m b a s s a d o r w h o m e t us.

S ection 2
В. 1) by; 2) over; 3) up; 4) wi th; 5) for; 6) awa y; 7) w i t h o u t ;
8) o ut; 9) out; 10) u p for; 11) up; 12) for; 13) up; 14) up;
15) a b o u t ; 16) by; 17) a b o u t ; 18) down,- 19) at; 2 0 ' off;
2 1 ) on; 2 2 ) off; 2 3 ) on; 2 4 ) on; 2 5 ) w i th ; 2 6 ) d o w n w i t h;
27) about; 28) about; 29) out; 30) in; 31) up; 32) in; 3 3 ) a w a y ;
34) in; 3 5 ) o ut ; 3 6 ) back; 3 7 ) over; 38) a w a y from; 3 9 ) on;
4 0 ) o v e r ; 4 1 ) t h r o u g h ; 4 2 ) a t ; 4 3 ) in; 4 4 ) off; 4 5 ) o n ;
4 6) d o w n ; 4 7 ) u n d e r ; 4 8 ) a w a y from; 4 9 ) off; 5 0) up; 5 1 ) up;
5 2) o u t of; 5 3 ) u p wit h; 5 4) in; 55) a w a y ; 5 6) out; 5 7 ) out ;
5 8 ) on; 5 9 ) ba ck; 6 0 ) off; 6 1 ) out; 6 2 ) up; 6 3 ) in; 6 4 ) up;
6 5 ) up; 6 6 ) d o wn ; 6 7 ) off; 6 8 ) on; 6 9 ) off; 70) out; 7 1 ) at;
7 2) for ; 73) off; 74) on; 7 5) t h r o u g h ; 76) up; 77) u p wi th;
7 8) out; 7 9) t o g e t h e r ; 8 0) off.

S ection 3

B -I
K e y : pos si bl e l inguistic i n t e r p r e t a t i o n s of t h e j o k e s .
(1) H o m o n y m y : ‘s e n t e n c e ’
1. a g r o u p of w o r d s e x p r e s s i n g a s t a t e m e n t , q u e s t i o n
or c o m m a n d .
2. p u n i s h m e n t
Cf. B e i n g a s k e d w h e t h e r it w a s b e t t e r t o m a r r y or not, he
replied, « W h i c h e v e r you do, y ou will r e p e n t it».
Dio gene s, S o c r a t e s ’
(2) P u n o n W o f d s: r e a s o n ’
1. (v) c o n s i d e r facts a nd form.
2. ( n ) a fact w h i c h s e r v e s as c a u s e , e x pl a n a ti o n.
( 3) P o l y s e m y : ‘to be wit h s o m e b o d y ’
1. to s t a y wi t h s o m e b o dy .
2. to s u p p o r t s o m e b o d y

82
 (4) - P o l y s e m y : ‘d i r t y ’
1. not cl ean, c o v e r e d w i t h dirt.
2. n o t p u r e in s p e e c h .

( 5) P o l y s e m y : ‘w a s h i n g ’
1. c l o th e s to w a s h .
2. w a s h i n g oneself.

( 6) R e f e r e n t i a l m e a n i n g : ‘f ia nc e’ u n d e r s t o o d by the
w asherw om an as a garment.
(7) G ram m atical hom onym s:
1. g r o w i n g ( P a r t i ci p l e I).
2. g r o w i n g ( G e r u n d ) .
(8) P o l y s e m y : pl ease —
1. wish; c ho os e .
2. give p l e a s u r e or s ati s f act ion.
( 9) D enotative m eaning:
1. a lot of girls d o n ’t w a n t to g e t m a rr i e d.
2. a lot of girls d o n ’t w a n t to m a r r y J a m e s .
( 10 ) H om ophones, syntactic hom onym s:
1. it is b ea n so u p .
2. it h a s b ee n so u p ,

( 1 1) P r e s u p p o s i t i o n : ‘An old s u i t ’ p r e s u p p o s e s t h a t t h e
p a t i e n t w a s v e r y p o o r a n d could n o t p a y t h e d o c t o r a
large fee.

( 1 2) P r e s u p p o s i t i o n : H e had to sell his c a r a nd n o w he

is on his feet, in t h e d ir e ct a nd i n d i r e c t m e a n i n g .
(13) C o m p a r i s o n : to g e t n o t h i n g is still b e t t e r t h a n to
g e t i nd i ge st ion.

( 14 ) S t r u c t u r e a m b i g u i t y : you ( h a ve ( s m o k e d s a u s a g e ) ) .
I ((have smoked) cigarettes).
( 1 5) H o m o n y m y ; ‘m o u n t a i n d e w ’ —
1. illicitly distilled w h i s k y .
2. m o i s t u r e or v a p o u r from the air.
( 1 6) M i x i n g up t h e w o r d s ‘p u n c t u a t i o n ’ a n d ‘p u n c t u a l ’.
( 1 7) I m p l i c a t i o n : t h e C a p t a i n u s e s s w e a r w o r ds .

83
( 18 ) R e f e r e n t i a l m e a n in g : ' P e n g u i n ’ is t a k e n for a man.
(19) Pol ys emy :
1. pa rt of t h e body:
2. part of t h e c o u n t r y .
(20) Metaphor: t h e boy t h i n k s t h a t ‘you old idiot’ s t a n d s
for his e m p lo y e r .
(2 1 ) Metaphor: t h e w o m a n one m a r r i es is far from b e i n g
his d r e am .
(22) Word order: t h e figurat ive m e a n i n g of t h e wo rd ‘lire’
a c q u i r e s its d ir ec t m e a n i n g .
(23) R e f e r e n t i a l m ea n in g :
1, w h a t o pe r a did you hear?
2. w h a t n e w s did you h e a r at t h e O p e r a ?
( 24 ) Synonymy: ‘N o m a t t e r ’ a nd ‘N e v e r m i n d ’ in this
c o n t e x t ar e s y n o n y m s .
( 25 ) P ar ap hr as e: T h e original proverb: ‘A bird in t he hand
is b e t t e r t h a n t w o in t he b u s h e s ’.
(26) Implication: M o t h e r t alks endl essly.
Polysemy: di re ct a nd indirect m e a n i n g of ‘m o t h e r
t o n g u e ’.
( 27 ) Implication: A m a n g e t t i n g d r u n k c a n n o t k e e p a
s ec re t.
(28) Re fe re nt ia l m e a n i n g of ‘a n i m a l ’.
( 29 ) H om on ym y:
1. flu (in fl ue nz a) .
2. flew ( to fly).
( 30 ) Word bui ld in g; e r r o n e o u s p a t t e r n .
г.
( 31 ) P o l y s e m y : to find
1. c o m e u p o n by s e a r c h i n g , s t u d y or effort.
2. learn, d i s c o v e r or b e c o m e i nf or me d of s o m e t h i n g
by e x p e r i e n c e or trial.
Im plication : t h e s t e a k w a s ve ry small.
(3 2 ) Implication: You are n eve r w a n t e d .
Cl.: « U n b i dd e n g u e s t s
Are often w e l c o m e s t w h e n t h e y are gone».
W. S h a k e s p e a r e ,
K i n g H e n r y VI. Pi. I. A c t II. Sc. 2.
( 33 ) H om on y m y: to p r e s s o n e ' s suit —
1. to iron o n e ’s suit.
2. to u r g e , to insist on m a r ri a g e.
( 34 ) Implication: P e o p l e did n o t like h e r s ingi ng.
(35) P ol ys em y: V i e w —
1. a s ig h t, a p r o s pe c t .
2. a m e n t a l e s t i m a t e , an idea.
(36) Referential m ean in g of ‘m i n e ’, ‘y o u r s ’ d u e to
s u b j u n c t i v e mo od.
(37) Implication: H i s p a r e n t s h e l pe d T e d d y to do his
homework.
( 3 8) Po ly s em y: d a y —
1. a period of 2 4 h our s .
2. t h e t i m e w h e n it is light.
C L C h em is t r y professor: W h a t ca n you tell m e about
n i tr a t e s ?
Student: Wel l — e r — t h e y ’re a lot c h e a p e r t h a n day
r at es.
( 39 ) M e tap ho r: g e m s of Engli sh l i t e r a t u r e — bes t books.
Implication: You h a v e n e v e r read t h e m.
(40) Implication: It is t h e wife w h o a l w a y s s pe a k s , the
h u s b a n d is s u p p o s e d to listen a n d obey.
(41) Pr e s u p p o s i ti o n : t h e l eader of t h e o r c h e s t r a c an m a k e
t he d a n c e s s h o r t or long.
( 42 ) Di r e c t a nd indi rect m e a n i n g of t h e p h r a se ‘All wi t hi n
m e ’.
Cf. « W h a t is t h i n e is m i n e , a n d all m i n e is thine».
T i t u s Pl an tu s, Ru de ns .
( 4 3) Po ly s em y: ‘l o t t e r y ’ in direct a nd figurative m e a n i n g .
(44) Po lysemy: l a ke —
1. receive.
2. m a k e a recor d of.
( 4 5) Paraphrase: original:
V e n i , ' vicii, vici (1 c a m e , I s a w , I c o n q u e r e d ) .
Julius Caesar,
L e t t er a f t e r v i c t o r y a t Z e l a in As i a Mi no r.
(46) Polysemy, referential meaning: to drop the s ubgect:
1. allow to fall t h e s u b j e c t , i.e. A- bombs , H - b om b s .
2. s t o p t a l k i n g a b o u t t h e s u b j e c t .
(47) Refe ren ti al m ea n in g: on y o u ’ —
1. c o v e r i n g a n o t h e r o bj e ct
2. wi th you
( 48 ) Re f e re n t i a l m ean ing :
1. d oe s y o u r wife u n d e r s t a n d y ou ?
2. d o e s y o u r wife u n d e r s t a n d m e ?
(49) Implication: ‘h a i r p i n s ’ b e l o n g to girls.
(50) Pr es up po si tio n: W o m e n pay t oo m u c h a t t e n t i o n to
t h e i r h ai r do es a nd t h e y a re too often unfaithful.
(51) Poly sem y: ‘f a cu l ty ’ —
1. m e n t a l o r phys ical pow'er.
2. a d e p a r t m e n t of l e a r n i n g or k n o w l e d g e .
(52) Juncture: ‘I s c r e a m ’ a nd ‘i c e c r e a m ’.
(53) Polysem y: ‘to m o u n t ’ —
1. p ut (a p e r s o n ) on a h or se
2. pu t in a fixed posi tion (to m o u n t a pi cture).
(54) Word order: ‘t h e t r i a l ’ a c q u i r e s t h e m e a n i n g of
‘i n q u i r e in a c o u r t of l a w ’.
(55) P ol ys em y: h a n g ( h u n g , h u n g ) fast en, or be fa ste ne d,
to a point a bove.
h a n g ( h an g e d , h a n g e d ) put a person to deat h by p u t t i n g
a rope round his n e c k a n d h a n g i n g .
Implication: t h e s e r g e a n t d e s e r v e s to be t o r t u r e d
for a l o n g time.

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(56) D e n o t a t i v e m ea n in g: t h e possibility of an explosion.
(.57) R e fe re nt ia l m ea n in g: ‘S h a k e s p e a r e - is u n d e r s t o o d
a s the n a m e of a boy.
( 58 ) Pol ysemy: ‘m a t t e r ’ — 1. s u b s t a n c e .
2. a su bj ec t.
‘i n t e r e s t i n g ’ — 1. ho ld ing th e a t t e n ti o n .
2. a r o u s i n g interest.

(59) P ol ys em y : ‘to b r i n g the h o u s e d o w n ’ —

1. to c a u s e to fall.
2. to be v e r y su c ce s sf ul .
(60) H om on ym y: ‘s p e l l’ — -
1. a period of t ime.
2. to n a m e or w r i t e t h e l et t e rs in t h e i r p r o p e r or de r
(61) Word order: ‘e x c u s e me, Sir vs. m y n a m e is Sii
Wil liam H o p k i n s ’.
(62) The prag ma tic m e a n i n g of t h e p h r a s e ‘the bes
t i m e ’ as u n d e r s t o o d by little Ji m.
(63) C o n t e x t u a l m e a n i n g of t h e w o rd ‘a l w ay s ' —
1. a t all t i me s .
2. on all o c c a s i o n s w h e n it rains.
( 64 ) H o m o n y m y : ‘m u l t i p l y ’ —
1. t a k e a q u a n t i t y a gi ven n u m b e r of t imes.
2. i n c r e a s e in n u m b e r .
(65) R e f e r e n t i a l m e a n i n g of t h e p h r a s e ‘t he first m a n '
(66) A m b i g u i t y of d e n o t a t i v e meaning:.
1. You will n ot be p r o m o t e d .
2. I will n o t live to se e you p r o m o t e d .
(67) Historical background: p o w d e r w a s in v e nt e d I»
t h e C h i n e s e , h e nc e, t h e soldi er w a s in China.
(68) Impli ca tio n: It did not look like a h ou se .
(69) Impli ca tio n: You'll h av e no crop.
(70) Im p lic at io n: M r s . Rob in so n and her h u s b a n d q u a m
v e r y often a nd d u r i n g l on g p er iods of time.
( 71 ) P u n on t h e idiom ‘to call a s p a d e a s pa d e '.

Cf.: «There w a s no in flu en za in m y y o u n g days. W e called a

cold a cold».
A r n o l d B e n n e l , The Cord.
( 72 ) I m p l i c a t i o n : t h e w o m e n did n ot not ice t h e t i m e while
d i s c u s s i n g s o m e t h i n g or a r gu i ng .

Cf.; «Two w o m e n pl a ce d t o g e t h e r m a k e cold w e a t h e r » .

W. S h a k e s p e a r e ,
K i n g H e n r y VIII. A c t I. Sc. 4.
(73) I m p l i c a t i o n : t h e b e g g a r w a s g o i n g to s a y a s w e a r
word.
( 74 ) I m p l i c a t i o n : t h e y all d e p e n d on t h e m o t h e r .
( 75 ) I m p l i c a t i o n : h u s b a n d a nd wife a l w a y s q u a r r e l .
( 7 6) I d i o m : ‘a b i g f is h’ — a bigwig, a bi g w h e el .
(77) I m p l i c a t i o n : Efforts are r e q u i r e d only before r e a c h i n g
o n e ’s ai m, a n d n o t after.
(78) I m p l i c a t i o n : T h e soldier c o u l d n ’t d a n c e p r ope rl y, t h e
girl k n e w a b o u t ' it befo re ha nd .
(79) P o l y s e m y : ‘to ge t a n o t h e r s e r v a n t ’
1. to d i s mi s s t h e s e r v a n t
2. to g e t o n e m o r e
( 80 ) P r e s u p p o s i t i o n : H e believed t h a t if he w a s n o t in
t h a t place, he w o u l d not die.
(81) P r a g m a t i c m e a n i n g of t h e w o r d ‘i m a g i n a t i o n ’: t h e
b a n k e r and t h e y o u t h u n d e r s t o o d it in different w a y s .
( 8 2) I m p l i c a t i o n : T h e poet w a s e x t r e m e l y poor.
(83) Im plication: H u s b a n d s a r e n ot satisfied w i t h t h e i r
wives.
CL: «Ther e are t w o t r a g e d i e s in life. O n e is n ot t o g e t y o u r
h e a r t ’s desire. T h e o t h e r is to ge t it!». ■
B. S h a w , M a n a n d S u p e r m a n .

m
(89) Polys emy : P r i m a r y an idiomatic m e a n i n g of t h e phr as e
‘tell it to t h e M a r i n e s ’.
(85) Juncture: w o r t h less vs. w o r t h l e s s .
(80) Pr e su pp o si tio n: B r o w n sl e ep s at w or k .
(87) P r a g m a t i c m e a n i n g : T h e b o y m i s i n t e r p r e t s t h e
r e p r o a c h of his m o t h e r — as a q u e s t i o n .
( 88 ) Im p lic a tio n: T h e l andl ady is g o i n g to t h r o w o u t t he
artist.
( 89 ) Me taphor: ‘w h i s k y ’ — t h e e n e m i e s .
(90) P r e s up po s it io n: I a m not a thief a nd you ar e not a
gentleman.
( 91) Implication: T h e r e q u e s t will not k e e p a n y w h e r e
tidy.
(92) Metaphor: T h e g o v e r n m e n t is c o m p a r e d t o ma g ic
wh i c h c a n a p p e a r a n d di s ap p e a r.
(915) Im plication : Yo u are e a t i n g t oo m u c h .
( 94) H o m o n y m y : ‘c l a s s ’ —
1. A g r o u p of p e r s o n s of t h e s a m e kind.
2. A g r o u p of p e r s o n s l e a r n i n g t o g e t h e r .
(95) Refere nt ia l m ean ing : ‘a wi se m a n ’ and ‘an intelligent
a u d i e n c e ’ b o t h r e f e r r i n g to M r . G r e e n .
(96) Absurdity: «to be lost» m e a n s n ot k n o w i n g o n e ’s
location.
( 97) Pr es upp os iti on: A l a w ye r is r e q u i r e d w h e n it is
n e c e s s a r y t o hi de t h e t r ut h.
( 98) Implication: T h e wife is s u r e t h a t h e r h u s b a n d is
g o i n g t o tell lies,
(99) Fi g u r a ti v e periphrasis: ‘t o g r o w in t h e m i d d l e ’ —
to b e c o m e fat.
( 10 0) Implication: P a t t o n is considered to be a g r e at general,
a g r e a t h er o of W o r l d W a r II, b u t t h e s h o p a s s i s t a n t
has p r ob a b l y n e v e r he ar d a b o u t it.

89
в-и
!. Misu se of t h e w o r d u n b e a r a b l e ’, m e a n i n g ‘n o t to be
e n d u r e d , t o l e r a t e d ’.
2. D o u b l e m e a n i n g of t h e p h r a sa l v e r b ‘lit u p ’: 1. full of
light; 2. h a p p y a nd d r u nk .
3. Misuse of ‘w i s h i n g ’. S h o u l d be ‘w i s h e d ’. M i s u s e of •
s y n t a c t i c s t r u c t u r e . S ho ul d be ‘if m o r e p e r s o n s e n t e r t he
c a b i n ’. N e x t s e n t e n c e s h o u l d be: ‘T h e lift will t h e n
o p e r a t e in n u m e r i c a l o r d e r ’ (or : ‘g o to t h e desi red floor
n u m b e r ’).
4. M i s u s e of t h e w o rd ‘v a l u e s ’. S h o u l d be ‘v a l u a b l e s ’.
5. S e n t e n c e str ucture. S h ou l d he: ‘V i s i t o r s ’ c o m p l a i n t s
are a c c e p t e d at t h e office...’.
6. Misuse of ‘f l a t t e n i n g ’. S h o u l d be i r o n i n g ’. S e n t e n c e
s t r u c t u r e . S h o ul d be ‘T h e c h a m b e r m a i d will be p l eas ed
to iron y o u r c lot hes :
7. A m b i g u i t y of m e a n in g . S h o u l d be ‘P l e a s e , e x p r e s s
y o u r e n q u i r i e s to t h e c h a m b e r m a i d ’,or ‘T he c h a m b e r m a i d
will hel p you in a n y t h i n g ’.
8. A m b i g u i ty of th e m e a n in g . T h e s e n t e n c e could be
i n t e r p r e t e d a s O u r w i n e s l eave y o u p a s t h o p e ’. Sh ou l d
be: ‘O u r w i n e s leave n o t h i n g t o be d e s i r e d ’.
9. Logical in congruity: p r o p e r self-service c a n n o t be
recommended.
10. Ambiguity: ‘y o u r o wn t r o u s e r s or t h e t r o u s e r s you
h a ve b r o u g h t for c l e a n i n g ’. Al so ‘d r o p ’ m e a n i n g : 1. fall
t o t h e g r o u n d . 2. leave behind.
>,
11. ‘S t r e e t w a l k i n g ’ has a c o n n o t a t i v e m e a n i n g . ( ‘S t r e e t
w alker’ — prostitute).
12. Misuse of t h e wo rd ‘fits’. ‘F i t s ’ — me di ca l s ei zu r es .
S h ou l d be ‘f i t t in g s’.
13. T h e m o r e likely a n t e c e d e n t of ‘t h e y ’ is ‘p a i n t e r s and
s c u l p t o r s ’. H e n c e , ‘e x e c u t e d is u n d e r s t o o d a s ‘p u t to
d e a t h ’.

90
14. M i s u s e of t h e w o r d ‘b u l k ’. ‘B u l k ’ i m p l i e s ‘p a r t of
s o m e t h i n g ’ or ‘g r e a t s i z e ’. ‘T h r o w n i n ’ m e a n s : 1. put
into t he pool. 2. e m p l o y e d on t h e job.
15. ‘Pe ople of different sex, for i ns t a n c e , m e n a nd w o m e n ’, as
if b e s i d e s m e n a n d w o m e n t h e r e are o t h e r people of
different sex. T he s e c o n d p a r t of t h e s e n t e n c e implies
t h e idea t h a t pe opl e m a r r y in o r d e r to live t o g e t h e r in
one tent.
16. T he w o r d s ‘b e d r o o m ’, ‘e n t e r t a i n m e n t of g u e s t s ’, ‘of th e
o pp o s i t e s e x ’ impl y a lewd m e a n i n g . S u p p o s i t i o n t hal
t h e lobby s h o u ld be u se d for s e x ua l i n t e r co u rs e .
17. M i s u s e of t h e w o r d ‘r n e t h o d i s t ’ — m e m b e r of a
p r o t e s t a n t rel igi ous sect . S h o u l d be ‘m e t h o d s ' .
18. A m b i g u i t y of ‘y o u r c l o t h e s ’: 1. T h e c l o t h e s y ou w e ar .
2. T h e c l o t h e s y ou h av e b r o u g h t for c le ani ng.
19. M i s u s e of t h e w o rd ‘m i s c a r r i a g e ’ — t h e birth of a b a b y
before it is able t o live.
20. D o u b l e m e a n i n g of t h e w o r d ‘a s s ’ fses, u:s] 1. a do nk ey .
2. t h e behind.
21. D o u b l e m e a n i n g of t h e wo r d ‘c o c k ’ 1. a t a p a nd a
s p o u t from w h i c h liquid m a y flow. 2. penis.
22. D o u b l e m e a n i n g of ‘from t h e i r o w n s k i n ’.
23. L o g i c a l i n c o n g r u i t y : o n e c a n n o t talk of ‘t h e useful
life of a c l o c k w o r k t o y ’.
24. L o g i c a l i n c o n g r u i t y : I t ’s e i t h e r y o u s t o p or drive.
S h o u l d be: S t o p a n d t u r n left or fight.
25. L o g i c a l i n c o n g r u i t y : T he a b s e n c e of s o m e t h i n g c a n n o t
be a p e cu l i a r i t y of t h e m e n u . M i s u s e of ‘s p e c i a l ’. S ho ul d
be ‘s pe c ia l ly ’, ‘i n t e n d e d ’.
26. S e n t e n c e s t r u c t u r e . P o ss i b l e like t ha t: It is forbidden
for a w o m a n e v e n a for ei gner to e n t e r th e t e m p l e if
d r e s s e d as a m a n.
27 W o r d o r d e r . S h o u l d be: ‘Sp ecial c oc kt ai ls wi th n u t s
for l a di e s’. O t h e r w i s e t h e ladies a p p e a r to be w it h n u t s ,
i.e. c ra zy.

91
28. Im p lic a tio n: t h e airline d e liber atel y s e n d s t h e different
i t e m s of a p e r s o n ’s l u g g a g e to different directi ons.

29. A m b i g u i ty of t h e e x p r es s i o n ‘to have c h i l d r e n ’: 1. to

h av e children w i t h t h e m in t he bar. 2. to give birth to
■chi ldr en in t h e bar.
3 0. A m b i g u i t y of s u i t a bl e food: 1. food su i ta b le for a ni ma l s.
2. food s u i t a b l e for people.
r- t
31. M iss in g 's. S ho u ld be: specialist in w o m e n ’s a n d o t h e r
d i se ase s.
32. A m b i g u i t y of t h e e x p r e s s i o n ‘t o p as s w a t e r ’. 1. to b r in g
a nd h an d in. 2. c a u s e o r allow to go, h e n ce , (colloq.) to
u r i n at e , to m a k e w a t er .
33. D o u b le m e a n i n g of t h e e x pr e ss i on ‘in t h e l on g r u n ’.
1. (fig.) finally, a ft er m a n y c h a n g e s of fortune, s u c c e s s e s
a nd failures. 2. a r u n in a s t o c k i n g (a hole).
34. A m b i g u i ty of ‘co nt r ol y ou rs e lf ’. 1. con tr ol t h e Co ol es
a n d H e a t e s ( m i s s p e l t : s h o u l d be ‘c o o l s a n d h e a t s ’).
2. Keep y ou r s el f u n d e r control.
35. D ou bl e m e a n i n g of t h e a n t e c e d e n t of ‘h i m ’ ( ‘h i m ’
b e i n g u se d i ns t e a d of ‘i t ’). H e n c e , toot le t h e h or n or
to ot le t h e p a s s e n g e r on foot ( s h ou ld be ‘p e d e s t r i a n ’).

Section 4
K ey to th e A c h ie v e m e n t Test
I
1) t h e e x c i t i n g m o v i e ; 2 ) u n i n t e r e s t e d ; 3 ) a f f e c t ed ; 4 ) me ;
5) believe; 6) a t ; 7) s p u n ; 8) tired; 9) w a s t e d ; 10) h av e been
c l o se d ; 11) will h a v e left a n d h a v e r e t u r n e d ; 12) t he i r;
13) his; 14) hirrtself; 15) ma d e; 16) w o u l d r a t he r ; 17) by;
18) arrived in; 19) do t h e i r h o m e w o r k ; 2 0 ) as I w a s wal ki ng;
2 1) t h o u g h he c a m e late; 22) you m u s t s e e t h e m ; 2 3 ) had
he e n t e r e d ; 2 4 ) m i g h t ; 25) wer e; 26) I o u g h t not; 2 7) m a k e
up; 2 8 ) g o t t h r o u g h ; 2 9 ) e xpl a ine d to me ; 3 0 ) t h o u g h t -
provoki ng; 3 1 ) w a s ; 3 2 ) give up; 3 3) w'hen s h e w a s r u n ni ng ;
34) c o n t i n u e d th e class; 3 5) raised; 3 6) di scovered; 3 7 ) delay;

92
3 8) have; 3 9 ) sept ic; 4 0 ) t h e b e t t e r ; 4 1) T h e fish, stiff a s a
h oa r d, w a s t a k e n o u t of t h e i c e b ox a n d h a n d e d t o M a r y ;
12) t h a t ; 4 3 ) for; 4 4 ) c h r o n i c ; 4 5 ) a s for; 4 6 ) a d v e r s e ;
47) put u p wi th; 4 8 ) a l mo s t ; 49) t o sc r at c h; 5 0 ) d o n e a w a y
with; 51) w h e n he w a l k e d into t h e airport; 5 2 ) g ive a wa y ;
5 3 ) talk him into; 5 4 ) r ea son; 5 5 ) s e t d o w n to; 5 6 ) a m u s e d ;
57) called off; 5 8 ) to s u g g e s t ; 5 9 ) else; 6 0 ) to h a v e - g o n e
t h r o u g h ; 6 1 ) w h o s e s t r i p e s ; 6 2 ) laid; 6 3 ) m o t h e r - i n - l a w ;
6 4 ) to a p p r e c i a t e it, y ou m u s t s e e it for yoursel f; 6 5 ) si mil ar
lo; 6 6 ) s pe ci ou s; 6 7 ) e li mi na t e; 6 8 ) has; 6 9 ) a s if; 7 0 ) keep
off; 71) reported; 72) w e r e c o mi ng; 73) T he h e a v y rain c a u se d
I he picnic to be cancell ed; 7 4) rose to his, feet; 75) e x t r a ­
ordinarily; 76) a m o n g : 77) by bicycle; 78) i m m in e n t;
7 9) e xc e pt ; 8 0 ) r a ng ; 81) s u g g e s t e d ; 8 2 ) m o s t ; 8 3 ) t h a t I
woul d s ur vive; 8 4) set up; 85) ma d e.

II .

86) (i) Pl an y o u r m o v e s slowly.

(ii) T h e plan m o v e s slowly.
87) (i) T h e book J o h n found w a s a b o u t B r o a d w a y .
(ii) T h e book J o h n found w a s lyi ng on B r o a d w a y .
88) (i) H e is a m a n to be w a t c h e d .
(ii) H e is a m a n to w a t c h t h e prison.
89) (i) Fr e de r ic t h e G r e a t d e c l a r e s t h a t Vo lt a ir e is a n a ss
(ii) Fr ed er i c t h e G r e a t , d e c l a r e s Vol tai r e, is an ass.
90) (i) N a v y w i t n e s s e s a r e s m o k i n g .
(ii) N a v y ha s w i t n e s s e d s mo k e .

91) (i) B e a u t y m a r k s h av e blos so me d.

(ii) B e a u t y a l w a y s m a r k s bl ossom.
92) (i) He is a l a w y e r d e f e n d i n g cri mi nal s.
(ii) H e is a l a w y e r c o m m i t t i n g c r i m e s .
93) (i) T h e s h i p sailes t oday.
(ii) S h i p t h e sails t oday.
94) (i) This is a p a r r ot s p e a k i n g Engli sh.
(ii) Thi s is an Engl i sh p a r ro t w hi c h c a n s p e ak .
95) (i) H e c h o s e t h e boat. s-f .
(ii) H e m a d e his decision wh il e on t h e boat.
Cf.: H e d eci ded o n t h e b oa t a t t h e train w h e r e both m e a n i n g
of ( 9 5 ) a r e p re s e rv ed .
96) (i) A w o m a n w i t h o u t he r m a n is a s a v a g e .
(ii) W o m a n : W i t h o u t her, m a n is a s av a ge .
97) (i) H e r e are s o m e m o r e w o m e n w h o are beautiful.
(ii) H e r e ar e s o m e w o m e n w h o a r e m o r e beautiful.
98) (i) H e loved his wife a n d t he re f or e he d i dn ' t b ea t her.
(ii) He di dn't beat his wife b ut not b ec au s e he loved her.
99) (i) I had a book s tol e n from m y c a r w h e n I s t u pi d l y
left t h e w i n d o w open. ( S o m e o n e s tole a book from m y
car . )
(ii) I had a book st ol en from his library by a professional
thief w h o I hired to do so. (1 had s o m e o n e to st eal a-
boo k. )
(iii) I a l m o s t had a b o o k s tol e n, b u t t h e y c o u g h t m e
l e a vi n g t h e library w i t h it. (I had a l m o s t s u c c e e d e d in
s t e a l i n g a b ook. )
E x p l a na t i o n gi ue n by N. Choms ky

100) (i) T h e y left hi m t h a t he s h o u l d t a k e c a r e of t h e

wounded.
T h e y left him a nd w e n t to t ake c a r e of t h e w o u nd e d.

101) T he m i n i s t e r s w e r e m e m b e r s of t h e g o v e r n m e n t .
The ministers chose the government.

102) You are w a r m w h e n you w e a r t h e coat.

This is a w a r m c oa t.

103) (i) T he chi ld re n w e r e m e m b e r s of a c lique.

T he «hil dren o r g a n i z e d a c li qu e .

104) T i m e y o u r flies (airflies).

H o w q u i c k l y t i m e flies!

105) The girl w h o m y o u r e c e n t l y m e n t i o n e d c a m e to

t h e office.
(ii) T h e girl y ou m e n t i o n e d h a s r e c e n t l y c o m e t o t h e
office.

94
PART 11 PERFORMANCE

Section 1. Talking: Interpretation Activity

Пи* aim of this kind of c l a s s r o o m i n t e r a c t i o n is to decide

wliat t h e s t u d e n t s t h i n k s o m e t h i n g m e a n s . In o u r c as e it is
a p i c t ur e b as e d o n th e j o k e gi v e n a b ov e.
Il is c o m m o n k n o w l e d g e t h a t e v e r y p i c t u r e tells a s t o r y —
bill u s u a l l y m o r e t h a n one! Look at, for i n s t a n c e , pi ct ur e 8
below. You k n o w w h a t t h e p i c t u r e is a b o u t , b u t you can
give y o u r o w n idea on i ts i n t e r p r e t a t i o n a n d a s k o t h e r
s t u d e n t s to a g r e e o r d i s a g r e e wit h w h a t you say.
l o r e x a m p l e , t h e t w o peopl e in t h e p i c t u r e a r e h u s b a n d a nd
wife. T h e y a r e a t t h e se a si de . T h e s u n is s h i n i n g brightly
bill t h e r e a r e no o t h e r p eo pl e on t h e b e a ch . W h y ? And w h y
has t h e m a n g ot a m a c h i n e g u n ?
I las he killed all t h e p eo pl e on t h e b e a c h or a r e t h e y si mply
afraid t o a p p e a r t h e r e ? T h e s m o k e c o i n i n g o u t of t he g u n
h o w s t h a t he h a s a l r e a d y d o n e s o m e s h o o t i n g . But is t he
w o m a n p l ea se d w i t h h e r h u s b a n d or w o u l d s h e like t o have
m a n y m e n on th e b e a c h to flirt w i t h ? T h e f oo tp ri nt s on the
and s h o w t h a t s o m e p eo p l e h a v e tried to a p p r o a c h her. O r
I hey m a y n o t be f oo t pr in ts b u t c a r t r i d g e - c a s e s ?
When s t u d e n ts we re deciding w h a t the new situation was
a bo u t t h e y a n s w e r e d t h e s e a n d m a n y o t h e r q u e s t i o n s .
This is c le ar ly a g o o d w a y of g e t t i n g s t u d e n t s to talk.
I irstly, t h e y c an gi ve all possi bl e i deas on t h e i n t e r p r e t a t i o n
uf th e p i c t u r e . And s e c o nd l y , t h e y c a n be a s k e d to a g r e e or
di sa gr e e on e ac h n e w i n t e r pr e ta t i on , t h a t is, to m a k e u p s o m e
sort of s t o r y a b o u t t h e pi ct ur e.

95
T h e d i s c u s s i on c an also s t a r t w i th a s e n t e n c e from t h e given
j o k e o r s o m e p h r a s e s e r v i n g a s a r e m i n d e r of it (e.g. joke
1 0 ):

« W h a t did y o u r f a t h e r s a y w h e n you s m a s h e d t h e n e w
car ?»
1st stud ent: H e said he w o u l d b u y m e a n o t h e r one.
2 n d s tu d e n t: Oh , did h e? Tel! t h a t to t h e M a j i n e s .
T h e s t u d e n t s g o on w i t h t h e d is cuss ion.
T h e r e is a n o t h e r possibi l it y to c a rr y on a d i sc u ss io n wh ic h
is b a s e d on allusion
(e.g. j o k e 30) . Love is blind, bu t n e i g h b o u r s a i n ’t.
Teacher: D o y ou t h in k t h e n e i g h b o u r s will be s t r u c k blind?
St ude nt : W h a t e v e r m a k e s you a s k s u c h a q u e s t i o n ?
Teacher: B e c a u s e t h e y ar e P e e p i n g To n is .
To u n d e r s t a n d t h e t e a c h e r a nd go on w i t h t h e d i sc us s i on
t h e s t u d e n t s m u s t k n o w t h e legend a b o u t La dy Go di va w h o
lived in t h e e l e v e n t h c e n t u r y . So if t h e s t u d e n t s d o n ’t know,
t h i s old l e g e n d t he t e a c h e r is to tell t h e m . ( Th e s t o r y is
g iv e n at t h e e nd of t h e book).
T h e t e a c h e r ’s n e x t q u e s t i o n w h i c h w o u l d c o n t i n u e t h e
d i s c u s s i o n coul d be:
Teacher: W h e n w e t alk a b o u t a P e e p i n g T o m t oda y, w h a t
do you t h i n k w e m e a n ?
S tu de nt : ...
T h e n e x t j o k e m a y be d i s c u s s e d on s imi l a r lines (j oke 4)
Y o u ’ve g ot to kiss a lot of t o a d s before you find y o u r p rincess.
J o k e ( 9) «He w a s born w i t h o u t a c e n t in his po c ke t» can
help to c r e a t e a d i s c u s s i o n in c as e t h e s t u d e n t s know' th e
i d i oma ti c e x p r e s s i o n «to be born w i t h a silver s p o o n in o n e ’s
mouth»:
Teacher: C a n you se e a n y t h i n g w r o n g in this p i c t ur e ?
S tu de nt : N o t t h a t I ca n t h i n k of.
Teacher: Well, to m y mind, t he child shoul d h a v e g ot a
si l ver s p o o n in his m o u t h i n s te a d оГ a s o o t h e r . H e is a
mi ll i onai re now'.

96
S t u d e n t s r e s p o n d in t h e i r o w n w a y s a nd g o on wit h th e
d iscussion, e.g.:

Teacher: H e w a s bor n w i t h a s p o o n in his m o u t h .

1st s tu de nt: H o w did he b r e a t h e ?
2nd s tu den t: ...
The q u e s t i o n s s u g g e s t e d for d i s c us s i o n will also help to
c r e a t e c o m m u n i c a t i o n a ct ivi ty.

I !;ik 1974
Read the jokes and interpret them. Look at the pictures
illu s tr a tin g the jokes and g iv e you r opinion on the
qu estions s u g g e s te d for discussion.

— I’m r e a d y n o w, darling.
— Well, I a m not. I shall h a v e to g o a n d s h a v e .again.

1. W h y d o e s he h a v e to s h a v e a s e c o n d t i me ?
2. Do y ou t h i n k it t a k e s a n y w o m a n a g e s ‘to look all r i g h t ’
w h e n s h e g o e s o ut ?
%
3. W h i c h w o u l d a m a n a c c e p t m o r e e ag er l y: to a c c o m p a n y a
s m a s h i n g l y l oo ki ng lady or t o w a i t for h o u r s whil e s h e is
g e t t i n g r e a d y for the p a r t y?
4. Do y o u k n o w a w a y to look nice, s ay, in t e n m i n u t e s ?
5. C a n y ou d e s c ri be t h e bes t outfit for your sel f, t h a t m a k e s
you look s m a s h i n g ?

98
 2

A Snob

Гwo E n g l i s h m e n m e e t in t h e s t r e e t .
- P a r l ez v o u s frangais?
- W h a t do y ou m e a n ? ( slowly a nd d i sti nct ly) .
- P ar l ez v o u s frangais?
You a re t a l k i n g o v e r m y head!
Well, do y o u s p e a k F r e n c h ?
Yes, yes , of c our se , I do.

I . W h y do t h e t w o g e n e t l e m e n look so puffed up?

\l W h y do people s o m e t i m e s try to m a k e a b e t t e r i mpr ess io n?
3 W h a t do y o u k n o w of s n o b s a n d s n o b b e r y ?
•1. W h a t is t h e b es t w a y to m a k e a good i m p r e s s i o n on o t h e r
p eo p le ?

5. W h a t q u a l i t i e s do y o u va lu e m o s t in p eo p le ?

«Ml
 3

— Bef or e w e w e r e m a r r i e d y ou called m e a n angel,

— I k n o w it.
— A nd n o w y ou d o n ’t call m e a n y t h i n g .
— Well, y ou o u g h t to be glad t h a t I p o s s e s s s u c h self-control

1. W h a t d o e s t h e h u s b a n d m e a n w h e n he s a y s t h a t he is
very patient?
2. H o w do t h e bi rds c o m e into t h e p i c t ur e ?
3. W h a t r u i ns r o m a n c e in m a r r i e d life?
4. W h a t is y o u r idea of an ideal m a r r i ed c ou p l e ?
5. W h y do p o e t s clai m love is e t e r n a l ?

100
You've g ot to kiss a lot of t o a d s before you find y o u r princess.

I. W h a t d o e s t h e e x p r e s s i o n ‘t o kiss a lot of t o a d s ’ m e a n ?
'/ Is a p r o p e r c ho i ce g u a r a n t e e d b y m a k i n g s e ve r al t ri es?
,'k Do y o u t h i n k s u c c e s s a n d h a p p i n e s s c o m e t h r o u g h
experience?
-1 W h a t v e n t u r e s a r e m o s t p r ob a b l y d e p e n d e n t on a lucky
chance?
1». C a n o n e be t h e m a s t e r of his o w n h a p p i n e s s ?
T u l i p s in t h e g a r d e n a nd t u l i p s in t h e yard.
B u t t h e t ul i p s t h a t I like ar e t u l i p s in t he dark.

1. W h e r e d o e s t h e d o u b le m e a n i n g of t h e [ 1tu: lips] lie? .

2. C a n y ou spell th e t w o v e r s i o n s of t hi s h o m o p h o n e ?
3. W h a t ['t u: 'lips] in t h e d ar k does t h e y o u n g m a n m e a n ?
4. D o y ou t h i n k all y o u n g girls are p r e t t y ? O r d oe s the]
b e a u t y lie in t h e l ov e r ’s e y e s ?
5. W h o do you t h i n k is t h e m o s t beaut iful a c t r e s s ?

102
 6

H u s b a n d : W e ba d a d r i n k i n g c o m p e t i t i o n a t t h e club last
flight.
W ife: Oh, who w as second?

I W h a t c h a r a c t e r i s t i c fe at ur e of he r h u s b a n d d o e s t h e w i f e ’s
(| Liestion imply?
is t h e h u s b a n d p r o u d of hi msel f?
Is h e a v y d r i n k i n g a g r a v e p r o b l e m in y o u r c o u n t r y ?
W h y d o n ’t m a n y people follow t h e pr over b: ‘E a t w it h
p l e a su r e, d r in k wi th m e a s u r e ’?
!i W h a t do you t h i n k of t he i n t r o du c t i o n of t h e ‘d r y l a w ’?

103
 7

P r o f e s s o r o f p o l i t i c a l e c o n o m y : W h o ’s th e s p e a k e r of
the House?
S t u d e n t : Mother.

1. W h a t s p e a k e r of t h e H o u s e d o e s t h e p r o f e ss o r m e a n ?
2. D o e s t h e s t u d e n t i n te n t i o n a l l y m i s i n t e r p r e t t h e q u e s t i o n '
3. D o e s the s t u d e n t w a n t to m a k e fun of t h e b o r i n g professor?
4. S h o u l d a t e a c h e r a l w a y s p o s s e s s a good s e n s e of h u m o u r ?
5. W h a t q u a l i t y do y ou p l a c e first as m o s t v a lu ab le for
teacher?

104
 8

— I told m y wife I w o u l d s h o o t a n y w h o had flirted w it h her

at t h e s eas ide.
- W h a t did s h e say?
- S h e told m e to b r i n g a m a c h i n e g un .

1. W h y did t h e wife tell h e r h u s b a n d to b r i n g a m a c h i n e

gun?
2. W h a t do y o u t h i n k m a k e s t h e h u s b a n d o u t r a g e o u s l y
jealous?
3 Is j e a l o u s y a sign of p a s s i o n a t e love?
-1 W h a t is t h e b e s t r e m e d y for j e a l o u s y ?
5 W h a t is y o u r a t t i t u d e to Ot hel lol ike m e n ?

105
 9

An A m e r i c a n n e w s p a p e r , g i vi n g t h e b i o g r a p h y o f a U ni te d
S t a t e s mi lli onai re, s t a t e d t h a t «he w a s b or n w i t h o u t a c en t
in his poc ke t» .

1. W h a t is t h e ori gi nal En gl i sh s a y i n g a b o u t a p e r s o n be in g
fortunate?
2. W h a t idea did t h e n e w s p a p e r t r y to r ub in?
3. W h a t q u a l i t i e s does a p e r s o n n e e d to b e c o m e f amou s,
o u t s t a n d i n g ©r rich?
4. Do t a le nt , effort a n d h a rd w o r k g o h a n d in h a nd ?
5. W h a t v a l u e s or v a l u a b l es m a k e a p e r s o n h a p p y ?

106
 10

Mother: W h a t did y o u r f a t h er s a y w h e n y o u s m a s h e d the

n e w c ar ?
Son: Shall I l eave o u t t h e s w e a r w o r d s ?
Mother: Yes, of c o u r se .
Son: H e d i d n ’t s a y a w or d .

1 C a n you give a n e x p l a n a t i o n of t h e origin of s w e a r w o r d s ?

:! W h a t m a k e s p eo pl e u s e v u l g a r l a n g u a g e ?
i5 W h a t is t h e w a y to k e e p c hi ldr en fr om u s i n g bad w o r d s ?
■I W h a t is y o u r a t t i t u d e to v u l g a r w o r d i n g in m a s s me di a?
Г> W h a t m e a n s of c r e a t i v e e m o t i o n a l i m p a c t ca n replace
swear words?

107
 11

In a n a d v e r t i s e m e n t b y a H o n g K o n g d ent is t:
Tee th e x t r a c t e d by the late st m e t h o d i s ts .

1. W h i c h w o r d is w r o n g in t h e n ot i c e?
2. W h a t is the b e s t w a y t o lear n t h e a d e q u a t e u s a g e of
w o r d s in a f orei gn l a n g u a g e ?
3. W h a t a s p e c t of l a n g u a g e l e a r ni ng s h o u ld be given priority?
4. W h a t faults do y o u find w i t h m o d e r n l a n g u a g e t e a c h i n g ?
5. D o you t h i n k t e a c h e r s ar e born, not m a d e ?
 12

Hr: M a y I kiss y ou ?
She: H e a v e ns ! A n o t h e r a m a t e u r !

I Is t h e girl p l e a s ed w i t h t h e r e q u e s t ?
" W h y is s h e critical of t h e q u e s t i o n ?
I Are t h e r e a n y a c c e p t e d r ul es t h a t y o u n g m e n s hould
o b s e r v e w h e n c o u r t i n g a girl?
i W h a t m a k e s a r o m a n c e f as c i n a ti n g ?
I» In w h a t w a y a r e c o u r t i n g a n d . s o c i a l c o n v e n t i o n s
interrelated?

109
 13

M o t h e r (at di nn er ): P e g g y , darling, you s h o ul d n o t scratcK

y o u r n o s e w i t h y o u r s poon.
P e g g y ; O h , M o t h e r , o u g h t I to h a v e u s e d a fork?

1. D o e s t h e girl a s k h e r q u e s t i o n in e a r n e s t ?
2. W h a t is t h e b e s t w a y to t e a c h kids t ab l e m a n n e r s ?
3. Is t h e m o t h e r g o o d a t t e a c h i n g h e r d a u g h t e r g o "
manners?
4. Do w o r d s s p e a k l o u d e r t h a n d e e d s in t e a c h i n g ?

5. W h o or w h a t a re t h e best t e a c h e r s ?
 14

Hurry: S h e s u r e g a v e y o u a di r t y look.
14* Ic: W h o ?
Iliirry: M o th e r Nature.

W h a t different m e a n i n g c a n ‘a di r t y l ook’ h a v e?
Do t h e b o y s m e a n t h e s a m e t h i n g by a ‘di r ty l oo k’?
Wh o do y ou t h i n k g a v e t h e tall c h a p a di r ty look, t h e girl
or n a t u r e ?
I Are good looks e q u a l l y si gni fi cant for both s e x e s ?
!> W h a t is y o u r idea of a h a n d s o m e m a n ? _

111
 15

M o n e y is t h e root of all evil a nd a m a n n e e d s roots!

4

1. Do you a g r e e wi t h t h e a r g u m e n t ?
2. W h a t do you t h i nk is t h e root of all evil: t h e p o s s e s s i o n of
m o n e y o r t he lack of it? H o w do t h e cl as si cs s e e the
problem?
3. W h a t a re t h e a d v a n t a g e s a nd d i s a d v a n t a g e s of b e i n g well-
off?
4. W h a t w o u l d you do if y o u u n e x p e c t e d l y i n he ri te d a p r e t t y
lar ge s u m of m o n e y ?
5. A r e well-off or poor p e opl e m o r e c h ar i t ab le ?

112
 16

n d e r n t a t h e v e r y s u c ce s sf u l m a n t h e r e is a w o m a n

Does t h e s a y i n g s o u n d a m b i g u o u s to y ou ?
W h i c h s e x c lin gs m o r e to s u p r e m a c y ?
Is it pos sible for a w o m a n to be a wife, m o t h e r and a
s u c ce s sf u l c a r e e r w o m a n ?
W h y a re t h e r e few w o m e n in politics?
!> Wh o is t h e real b o s s in t he a v e r a g e h o u s e h ol d ?

'■ 1.1к 1974 11 t

 17

W o m a n l e a r n i n g to drive: B u t I d o n ’t k n o w w h a t to do 1
Her hus ba nd: J u s t i m a g i n e t h a t I’m driving.

1. W h a t d o e s t h e husband mean when h e m a k e s his

suggestion?
2. A re m e n b e t t e r d r i v e r s t h a n w o m e n ?
3. W h a t do y o u t h i n k of traffic la ws ? S h o u l d t h e y be mor e
strict?
4. W h y d o e s d r i v i n g often b r in g o u t t h e w o r s t q u al i t i e s in
me n: bad m a n n e r s , a g g r e s s i o n , s elf is hnes s?
5. W h a t d o y o u t h i n k of t r a n s p o r t facilites in y o u r c i t y /
town ?

114
 18

In a C o p e n h a g e n airline t i c ke t office:
We take yo u r bags a n d s en d t h e m in all d i r e c t i o n s .

I Wh a t is w r o n g wi th t h e p o r t e r ’s s t a t e m e n t ?
1 Is Ihe t o u ri s t h a p p y a b o u t t h e i nf or ma ti on h e ’s g o t ?
I Does e x t e n s i v e t ra v el li n g lead to b e t t e r u n d e r s t a n d i n g
a m o n g people?

I W h a t are the a d v a n t a g e s and d i s a d v a n t a g e s of c o n d u d e d

l o ur s?
I n a T o k y o s h o p : O u r n y lons c os t m o r e t h a n c o m m o n , In
y o u ’ll find t h e y a re best in t h e l o n g run.

1 W h a t is t h e d ouble m e a n i n g of t h e wor d- combi 'nat ion и

t h e l on g r u n ’ ?

2. W h i ch m e a n i n g ha s t he s a l e s m a n g o t in min d?
3. W h e n w o m e n follow f a s h i o n s do t h e y t r y to please
themselves or men?

4. Is b e i n g w el l- dr es se d of a n y p sy ch ol og ic al i m p o r t a n c e ' '
5. W h a t d o e s fashion add to life? D o e s it really add colour
v ar i et y, b e a u t y to life? O r is it a d el i b e ra t e c r eati on -i
waste?
 20

Л m a n r an into t h e h o u s e of a n e i g h b o u r a n d s h o u t e d , «I say,
Mr s. M u r p h y , y o u r h u s b a n d h a s j u s t laid h a n d s on t e n
ll iousand volts!»
• Good g r a ci ou s» , said M r s . M u r p h y . « N o w w e shall be rich.
Mow m u c h is t h a t in En g li s h m o n e y » ? ■

I. W h a t ca n ‘to lay o n e ’s h a n d s on s o m e t h i n g ’ m e a n ?
Mow did t he wife u n d e r s t a n d t h e m a n ’s m e s s a g e ?
3. Is g r e a t i n t e r e s t in m a k i n g m o n e y a m o d e r n p h e n o m e n o n ?
■1 W h a t m o t i v a t e s y o u n g pe opl e in t h e i r efforts?
f>. W h a t do peopl e m e a s u r e t he ir s u c c e s s by? Is it m on e y ,
k no wl ed ge , e d u ca t io n, skill?
 21

T h e l o n g e s t five y e a r s in a w o m a n ’s life ar e b e t w e e n twe nt y-

n ine and thirty.

1. W h a t is t h e w o m a n c o n c e r n e d a b o ut ?
2. Is it a m y t h or a real i ty t h a t people c a n be h a p p y at any!
a g e ? D o pe opl e look forward to s o m e t h i n g b e t t e r at any]
age?
3. W h y is th& p r o s p e c t of g r o w i n g old h or ri f yi ng to w o m e n ? !
4. W h a t a g e is m o s t m e a ni n gf u l in a m a n ’ a n d w o m a n ’s life?
5. W h y are m a n y old people lonely? S u f f er i n g is universal,
b u t w h y do people all t he s a m e d e s p e r a t e l y w a n t to go]
on l ivi ng?

118
г 22

O f f i c e r ( to c o u pl e in p a r ke d car): D o n ’t y ou s e e t h a t sign,
«Fine for P a r k i n g » ?
D r i v e r : Yes, officer, I s e e it a n d h e ar t i l y a g r e e w i t h it.

1. W h a t d oe s t h e s ign m e a n t o t h e traffic w a r d e n a n d to t h e
y o u n g c ou pl e?
2. W h a t p la ce s a re m o s t difficult t o c o nt r o l in t h e c o u n t r y ?

3. W h y do y o u n g people f r e q u e n t l y p r o t e s t a g a i n s t t h e rules?
A At w h a t a g e do y o u n g people m a t u r e , a s u m e responsibilities
and s e t c e r t a i n v a l u e s for t h e m s e l v e s ?
8, Is it t r u e t h a t ‘t h e y o u n g k n o w b e s t ’?
 23

— You c o m e into m y r e s t a u r a n t , y o u o r d e r a g la ss of wat er ,

you dri nk it, and you c a l ml y w a l k out!
— W h a t w e r e you e x p e c t i n g m e to do, m a n ? S t a g g e r out-1

1. W h y is t h e b a r m a n d ispleas ed?
2. W h a t p ub rule did t h e visi tor break?
3. D o e s t he w a y you ar e t r e a t e d at a r e s t a u r a n t d e p e n d on
t h e size of y o u r or de r? Y o u r posi ti on in so ci e ty? T h e w a y
you are d r e ss e d?
4. W h a t do you think of t he se rvic e in y o u r c o u n t r y ?
5. W h o or w h a t is r es p o n s ib l e for p o o r s er vi ce in s o m e
p l a ce s?

120
 24

I lenry, — his wife told him, — i t ’ll be t w e n t y y e a r s a g o

t o m o r r o w t h a t w e w e r e mar r ied. W h y n o t go a nd kill a
c ou pl e of t h o s e y o u n g c h i c k e n s ?
W h y s ho ul d I? — said H e n r y , — It w a s n ’t t h e i r fault.

W h a t d o e s t h e hu'sband m e a n w h e n he s a y s ‘it w a s n ’t t h e
c h i c k e n ’s fault?

W h y do t h e t w o of t h e m look like h a n g m e n ?
W h y is it t h e h u s b a n d w h o wo ul d m o s t c o m m o n l y complai n
of b e i n g m a r r i e d ?

Do y o u t h i n k m a r r i a g e is a l ot ter y?
I low do y o u a c c o u n t for t h e p r e v a l a n c e of di vorce?
 26
25
In a Par is hotel el evator :
T h e p r o f e ss o r t a p p e d on his d e s k a n d s h o u i t d . m ease le a v e y o u r v a lu e s a t th e f r o n t d e sk .
— G e n t l e m e n , order!
T h e e n t i r e c l as s yelled:
— Beer!

& L £lfA T O £

1, T h e pupils a r e in t h e c l a s s r o o m , so w h y do t h e y T
‘b e e r ’?
2. W h e r e a nd w h e n is t h e p h r a s e ‘G e n t l e m e n , o r de r u-.usll к C a n you n a m e i t e m s of v a lu e a n d v a l u a bl e s ?

said? 2 Is the villain a ft er t h e p e o p l e ’s v a l u e s or v a l u a bl e s ?

3. In w h a t w a y will t h e t e a c h e r r e a c t to t h e p u p i l s ’ j ■'1 1
4. Is it e a s ^ t o m a n a g e discipline in m o d e r n s chools?
5. D o y o u t h i n k it is t h e p e r m i s s i v e n a t u r e of m o d e r n societ]
t h a t is m a i n l y r es po ns i b l e for t h e bad c o n d u c t ol \
p eo p l e?
3 W ha t v a l u e s give a p e r s on his good n a m e ?
d Is it pos sible for a m a n to a b a n d o n his v a lu e s ?
f> W h a t is t h e r e a s o n t h a t m a k e s o n e p e r s o n g oo d and
a n o t h e r bad?

123

,
A m a n w a s a t a t h e a t r e . H e w a s s i t t i n g behi nd t w o women!
w h o s e c o n t i n u o u s c h a t t e r b e c a m e m o r e t h a n he coul d bc-af]
L e a n i n g f orward, he t a p p e d one of t h e m on t h e s h ou l d e n
«Par don m e , m a d a m » , he said, «but I c a n ’t hear». «You ’re n *
s u p p o s e d to. T h i s is a p r iv a te c o nv e r s a t i o n » , s h e hit ba ck ,I

1. W h y d o e s t h e m a n ’s r e q u e s t s o u n d i mpoli te to t h e la
2. W'hat kind of p e r f o r m a n c e could it be?

3. W h i t kind of people m o s t c o m m o n l y g o to t h e t h e a b e B
4. W h y is t h e t h e a t r e b e c o m i n g less p o p u l a r n o w a d a y s '
5. f l o w do y o u s e e t h e role of art?
 28

Mo d er n A ge — w h e n girls w e a r less in t h e s t r e e t t h a n
11н•ir g r a n d m o t h e r s did in bed.

I Do y ou s h a r e t h e old l a d y ’s opinion of t h e y o u n g ?
Do you t h i n k t h a t o n e ’s outfit is an e x t e n t i o n of o n e ’s
t h i nk i ng a n d m or a l v a l u e s ?
• W h y is t h e r e a l w a y s s o m e s o r t of m i s u n d e r s t a n d i n g
b e t w e e n th e old a nd t h e y o u n g ?
I W h y do elderly peopl e often s o u n d d i s a p p r o v i n g of t h e
young?
Г» W h y do t h e y o u n g often fall i n t o - e x t r e m e s ?
 29

« H e ’s a v e r y go od talker», said t h e m a n in t h e s h o p w h e n he
sold m e t h e p ar rot . B ut w h e n I b r o u g h t t h e p a r r ot h om e, ii
did n ot s a y a wor d. S o I decided to t e a c h it. I b e g a n with 1
«Hallo». I t h o u g h t t h a t th e w o r d w a s n ’t difficult a nd the I
p a r r ot could learn it easily.
«Hallo, hallo, hallo, hallo!» said I s t a n d i n g in front ef the
and s p e a k i n g v e r y loudly. T he p a r r o t p u t its head u n a e r us
w i n g a n d said noth in g.
«Hallo, hallo, hallo» I shouted, b e c o m i n g mor e and mo re ang ry. I
At last t h e p a r r ot l ooked up. « N u m b e r e n g a g e d » , it sa
crossly, a n d p u t its head back.

1 W h y d o e s t h e pa rr ot s a y ‘N u m b e r e n g a g e d ’?
2 T h e o w n e r of t h e p ar r ot w a s p r ev io us l y a sailor. Wha l I
kind оГ v o c a b u l a r y is t h e p a r r o t m o s t likely to ha v e ?
3 A p ar r ot can p r o n o u n c e w o r d s and p h r a s e s of a h u m a t J
l a ngua ge . Can w e s a y t h a t the parrot is the m o s t intelligent
c r e a t u r e a m o n g birds and a n i m a l s ?
4, Ar e peopl e fair a s s o c i a t i n g b i r d s ’ b ra i ns w i t h s t u p i d i t y '

5. W h y a re people fond of pe t s?

126
 30

l.uve is blind, b u t n e i g h b o u r s a i n ’t.

I . Do y ou t h i n k t h e n e i g h b o u r s will be s t r u c k blind?
L* W h o m do w e call a P e e p i n g T o m ?

3 W h a t dp w e m e a n w h e n w e s a y ‘C u r i o s i t y killed t h e c a t ’?
<1 Is c u r i os i t y a sin?
ft W h y d o e s c o u r t i n g of y o u n g pe opl e s e t t h e i r n e i g h b o u r s ’
c u r i os i t y a g o g ?
Section 2. Reading Comprehension
and Problem Solving Activity

T he m a in aim of c o m p r e h e n d i n g a w o r k of l it e ra t ur e is t o be
able to read b e t w e e n t h e lines. B ut r e a d i n g b e t w e e n the
lines p r e s u p p o s e s an a c c u r a t e a nd c o m p r e h e n d i n g r e a di n g
of t h e lines t h e m s e l v e s . S o t h e r e is good r e a s o n for th
t e a c h e r to b r in g u p s u c h s i mp l e q u e s t i o n s as « W h e r e '
« W h e n » , « W h at » , w h a t a r e t he p r o b l e m s w i t h w h i c h the
c h a r a c t e r s a re to deal, in w h a t t e r m s is it m a d e explicit? So
at t h e b e g i n n i n g it is of first i m p o r t a n c e to c o m p r e h e n d and
r e s t a t e , w it h w h a t e v e r b r e v i t y s e e m s a p p r op r i a t e, w h a t th
a u t h o r s ays.

B u t t h e r e is a s e c o n d s t e p of e v e n g r e a t e r i m p o r t a n c e . It 1
n o t a l w a y s p r o p e r to t a k e t h e a u t h o r ’s w o r d s a nd s t a t e m e n t j
at th e ir face v alu e. T he a u t h o r w is h e s not only
d e m o n s t r a t e a nd to p rove , b ut to i m p r e s s and p e r s u a d e ,
his w o r d s c o n v e y m u c h m o r e t h a n t h e y a c t u al ly say. Tl
q u e s t i o n s s u g g e s t e d af t er e a c h e x t r a c t or s t o r y will held
t h e s t u d e n t to reveal t h e a u t h o r ' s i n t en t.
As a t hi r d s t e p he will a g r e e w i t h t h e ideas s e t forth in ti"
s t o r y o r d i s a g r e e g i v i n g good r e a s o n s and a r g u m e n t s I
e i t h e r c a se .

Wh i l e s e l e c t i n g pie ce s of l ite ra ry w o r k w e w e r e g u i d e d by
v e r y s i m p l e c r i t e r i o n : w e c h o s e g o o d w r i t i n g . In our
u n d e r s t a n d i n g good w r i t i n g for a l a n g u a g e class is t h a t whij I
k e e p s u s a w a k e , bad w r i t i n g is t h a t w h i c h s e n d s us to sleep
T o be m o r e e x a c t , w e h a v e c h o s e n p a s s a g e s t h a t are|
i n t e r e s t i n g , w el l - w r i t t e n a nd a p l e a s u r e to read. S o m e ar
e asy , o t h e r s m o r e difficult. T h e y ar e all t a k e n from a u t h en t i
s o u r c e s ( books , m a g a z i n e s , e tc .) a n d r e p r o d u c e d e x ac t l y
t h e y origi nal l y a p p e a r e d .

T h e s t a t e m e n t s following t h e p a s s a g e s ( E x e r c i s e 1) focu
on different a s p e c t s of t h e r e a d i n g skills: r e a d i n g to e x t ra
specific information as well as t he w r i t er ’s a t t it ud e or intention

128
H x e r c i s e 2 is m e a n t to o r g a n i z e a d i sc u s si on . The q u e s t i o n s
or s t a t e m e n t p r e s e n t c e r ta i n p r o b l e m s t h e s ol ut ion of wh ic h
will r e q u i r e from t h e s t u d e n t s careful reflective t hi nki ng:
r e a so ni ng , defining, c o m p a r i n g , a b s t r a c t i n g a nd g ener al ising.
R ead the ex tr a c ts below and d o the exercises that
follo w them.

Text I
T h e M o s t I m p o r t a n t of A ll H u m a n Q u a lit ie s
is a S e n s e o f H u m o u r
Biologically, t h e r e is o nl y o n e q u a l i t y w h i c h d i s t i n g u i s h e s
us from a ni ma l s: t h e ability to l augh. In a u n i v e r s e wh ic h
a pp e ar s to be u t t e r l y devoid of h u m o u r , w e e n j oy this s u p r e m e
luxury. A nd it is a l uxur y, for unlike a n y o t h e r bodily p r oc ess ,
l a u g h t e r d oe s n o t s e e m to s e r v e a biologically useful p ur po s e.
In a divided world, l a u g h t e r is a uni fy i ng force. H u m a n b e ings
o pp o se e a c h o t h e r on a g r e a t m a n y i ss ue s. N a t i o n s m a y
d i s a g r e e a b o u t s y s t e m s of g o v e r n m e n t a n d h u m a n r ela ti on s
ma y be p l a g u e d b y ideological facti ons a nd political c a m p s ,
bill w e all s h a r e t h e ability to l augh. An d l a u g h t e r , in t u r n,
d e p e n d s on t h a t m o s t c o m p l e x a n d s u b t l e of all h u m a n
qu ali tie s: a s e n s e of h u m o u r . Ce r t a i n c o m i c s t e r e o t y p e s have
a uni ve rsa l a ppeal . T hi s c a n best be s e e n from th e w o r l d ­
wide p o p u l a r i t y оГ C h ar l i e C h a p l i n ’s e a rl y films.
I he little m a n at o dd s w i t h s oc i e t y n e v e r fails to a m u s e no
m a ile r w hich c o u n tr y we com e from. As the g re a t
c o m m e n t a t o r on h u m a n affairs, D r . S a m u e l J o h n s o n , o n c e
r e m a r k e d , « M e n h a v e b ee n w i s e in v e r y different m o d e s; b ut
t hey h a v e a l w a y s l a u g h e d in t h e s a m e way » .
Л s e n s e of h u m q u r m a y t a k e v a ri o u s f o r m s and l a u g h t e r
may be from a refined tinkle to an e a r t h q u a k i n g roar, b ut
the effect is a l w a y s t h e s a m e . H u m o u r h e lp s u s to m a i n t a i n
a c o r r e c t s e n s e of v a l u e s . It is t h e one q ual it y w h i c h political
lunat ics a p p e a r to lack. If w e c a n s e e t h e f u n n y side, w e
m ver m a k e t h e m i s t a k e of t a k i n g o u r s e l v e s t oo ser iousl y.
We arc a l w a y s r e m i n de d that t r a g e d y is not really far r e mo ve d
limn c o m e d y , s o w e n e v e r get a lopsided v i e w of t hi ng s.

129
Thi s is o n e of t h e chief f un ct io n s of s a ti r e a n d irony. H u m a n
pain a n d s uf f er i n g are so grim; w e h o v e r so often on t h e .
brink of w a r ; political realities are u su a ll y e n o u g h to p l u n ge
u s into t ot al d es pair . In s u c h c i r c u m s t a n c e s , c a r t o o n s and
s a ti ri ca l a c c o u n t s of s o m b r e political e v e n t s r e d r e s s t h e i
b al ance.
T h e y t a k e t h e w i nd o ut of p o m p o u s and a r r o g a n t politicians
w h o h a v e lost t h e i r s e n s e of p ropor ti on. T h e y eijable us to
s e e t h a t m a n y of o ur m o s t pr of ou n d a c t i o n s are me re ly
c o m i c o r a b su r d . W e laugh w h e n a g r e a t sati rist like Swift
w r i t e s a b o u t w a r in G u l l i v e r ’s Tr avel s. T h e Li ll i p ut i a ns and
t h e i r n e i g h b o u r s a t t a c k each o t h e r b e c a u s e t h e y c a n ’t a g r e e i
w h i c h e nd to b r e a k an e gg. W e l a u g h b e c a u s e w e are m e a n t ,
to l augh; b u t w e a re m e a n t to w e e p too. It is no w o n d e r
t h a t in t o t a l it a ri a n r e g i m e s a n y s a ti r e a g a i n s t t h e E s t a b l i s h ­
m e n t is w h o l l y b an n ed . It is t oo po we rf ul a w e a p o n t o be \
a llowed to flourish.
' Ш
T he s e n s e of h u m o u r m u s t be si ngl ed o u t as m a n ’s m o s t
i m p o r t a n t q ua li ty b e c a us e it is a s so c i a t e d w i t h l au gh te r.
An d l a u g h t e r , in t u r n , is a s s o c i a t e d wit h h a p pi ne s s. C o u r a g e , '
d e t e r m i n a t i o n , initiative — t h e s e are q ua li t i es w e s h a r e
w i t h o t h e r for ms of life. B ut t h e s e n s e of h u m o u r is u n i q u e l y
h u m a n . If h a p p i n e s s is o n e of t h e g r e a t g o a l s of life, t h e n it
is t h e s e n s e of h u m o u r t h a t p r ovi de s t h e key.
L.G. Alexander, For and Against 111

E x e r c ise 1. Go through the issues below and say which

ones are shared by the author.
1. L a u g h t e r is a unif yi ng force.

2. All h u m a n quali ties are i m p o r t a n t .

3. L a u g h t e r cfepends on a s e n s e of h u m o u r .
4. T h e s e n s e of h u m o u r is a ke y t o h a p pi n e s s .
5. T r a g e d y a nd c o m e d y are closel y rel at ed.

6. H u m o u r c a n n o t alleviate suffering.
7. T h e s e n s e of h u m o u r is u n i q u e l y h u m a n .

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К. Political f an a ti cs lack h u m o u r .

I). H u m o u r e m p h a s i s e s less s e ri ou s a s p e c t s of h u m a n life,

t he re fo re i t ’s not so i m p o r t a n t .
10 T h e r e ’s m u c h g r i m n e s s in th e world, s o h u m o u r r e dr es se s
t h e balance.

r.xercise 2. Gi ve you r opinion on the f o l l o w i n g stat ements.

1 Love, c ha r it y , c o m p a s s i o n a r e far m o r e i m p o r t a n t t ha n
humour.
2 T he ability to l au g h is u ni ve rs a l, b ut t h e s e n s e of h u m o u r
differs from c o u n t r y to c o u n t r y .
it H u m o u r d oe s not solve a n y p r o b l e m s , only blinds u s to
I h e m.

I H a p p i n e s s r e s u l t s from t h e c o m b i n a t i o n of a g r e a t m a n y
q ualities.
b, Poli tici ans lack h u m o u r .

Text 2

The d e e p b a c k g r o u n d t h a t lies behind a n d b e y o n d w h a t w e

call h u m o u r is r ev ea l ed onl y to t h e few w h o , b y i n st i n c t or
by effort, have gi ven t h o u g h t to it. T h e w o r l d ’s h u m o u r , in its
besl a n d g r e a t e s t s e n s e , is p e r h a p s t h e h i g h e s t p r o d u c t of
Dm civilization. O n e t h i nk s h er e n ot of t h e m e r e s p a s m o d i c
effects of t h e c o m i c a r t is t or t h e bl ac kf ac e e x p e r t of t h e
vaudeville s h o w , b u t of t h e really g r e a t h u m o u r w h i c h , o nc e
hi Iwice in a g e n e r a t i o n at b e st , i l l u m i n a t e s a nd e l e v a t e s o u t
lilcrature. It is no l o n g e r d e p e n d e n t u p o n t h e m e r e trick
and q u i b b l e of w o r d s , o r t h e o d d a n d m e a n i n g l e s s
i nc on gr ui t i es in t h i n g s t h a t st r ike u s a s «funny». Its basis
Ii' . in t h e d e e p e r c o n t r a s t s offered by life itself: t he si r a ng e
i n c o n gr u i ty b e t w e e n o u r as p i r a ti on a nd o u r a c h i e v e m e n t ,
llic e a g e r a n d fretful a n x i e t i e s of t o - d a y t h a t fade into
iiolhingness to -mo rr ow, t h e b u r n i ng pain and th e s ha r p s or row
lli.it are s o f t e n e d in t h e g e n t l e r e t r o s p e c t of t i m e , till as w e
Jctok back upon t h e c o u r s e t h a t has b ee n t r a v e r s e d w e p a ss

131
in v ie w the p a n o r a m a of o u r lives, a s people in old a g e ma'.
r e c a l l , w i t h m i n g l e d t e a r s a nd s m i l e s , t h e a n g r y q u a r r e l s of
t heir childhood. And here, in its la r ge r a s p ec t , h u m o u r is
b l ended wit h p a t h o s till the- t w o a re one, and r e p r e s e n t , as
t h e y have in e v e r y a ge , t h e m i ng le d h e r i ta g e of t e a r s and
l a u g h t e r t h a t is o u r lot on e ar t h .

All t h a t I dar e claim is t h a t I have a s m u c h s e n s e of h u m o u r

as o t h e r people. And, oddly e n o u g h , I not ice t h a t e ve r yb od y ]
else m a k e s t his s a m e claim. A n y m a n will a dmi t , if need be,
t hat his s i gh t is not good, or t h a t he c a n n o t s w i m, or s h o o t s '
badl y wi th a rifle, b u t to t o u c h u p o n his s e n s e of h u m o u r i
to give him a m o r t a l affront.
«No», said a friend of m i n e t h e o t h e r day, «I n e v e r go to
G r a n d Op e ra » , a nd t h e n he add e d w i th an air of pride —
«You see, I h av e a b s o l u t e l y no ea r for musi c».
«You d o n ’t s a y so!» I e x cl ai me d.
«None!» he w e n t on. «I c a n ' t tell o n e t u n e from a n o t h e r . I
d o n ’t k n o w ‘H o m e S w e e t H o m e ’ from ‘God, S a v e t h e King'
I c a n ’t tell w h e t h e r a m a n is t u n i n g a violin or p l a y i ng £
s o n a t a» .
H e s e e m e d to g e t p r o u d e r and p r o u d e r o v e r e a c h it em of
his o wn deficiency. H e e n d e d by s a y i n g t h a t he had a d o g at
his h ou s e t h a t had a far b e t t e r e a r for m u s i c t h a n he had.
As s oo n as his wife o r a n y vi sit or s t a r t e d to play th e piano
t h e d o g a l w a y s b e g a n to howl — plaintively, he said, as if it
w e r e hur t. H e h i ms el f n e v e r did this. .
W h e n he ha d finished I m a d e w h a t I t h o u g h t a h a r ml e s s
c o m m e n t . «I s u p p o s e » , I said, «t ha t you find y o u r s e n s e of
h u m o u r deficient in t h e s a m e wa y: t h e t w o g e n e r a l l y go
together».
M y friend w a s livid w i t h r a g e in a m o m e n t .
« S e n s e of h u m o u r ! » he said. « M y s e n s e of h u m o u r ! M e
w i t h o u t a s e n s e of h u m o u r ! W h y I s u p p o s e I’v e a k e e n er
s e n s e of h u m o u r t h a n a ny m a n , or a n y t w o m e n , in thi
city!»
H e left me , still q u i v e r i n g w it h ind ig n a t io n.

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P er sonal l y, h o w e v e r , I do n o t mi nd m a k i n g the admissi on
I hat t h e r e a re c e r ta i n f or ms of so-called h u m o u r , w h i c h 1 an
q u i t e u na bl e to a p p r e c i a t e . Chi ef a m o n g t h e s e is t h a t ancien!
t h i n g called t h e P r a c ti c a l J o k e .

«You n e v e r k n e w M c C a n n , did you ? » a friend of mi ne a s k e i

m e t h e o t h e r day. W h e n I said «No, I had n e v e r know!
M c G a n n » , he s h o o k his h e a d w i t h a sigh, and said:
«Ah, you s hou ld h av e k n o w n M c C a n n . H e had t h e g r e at es t
s e n s e of h u m o u r of a n y m a n 1 e v e r k n e w — a l w a y s full о
iokes. I r e m e m b e r o n e n i g h t at th e b o a r d i n g h o u s e where
wc w e re , he s t r e t c h e d a s t r i n g a c r o s s t h e p a s s a g e w a y ant
t hen r a n g t h e d i n n e r bell. O n e of t h e b o a rd e rs fell. O n e о
t he b oa r d e r s b ro k e his leg. W e n e a r l y died laughi ng»,
«De ar me!» I said. « W h a t a h u m o r i s t ! Did he often do t h i ng '
like t h a t ?»
«Oh, yes, he w a s g oo d at t h e m all t h e t ime . He u se d to pu
lar in th e t o m a t o s o u p, a nd b ee s w a x a nd t in -t ac k s on tin
c hai rs. H e w a s full of ideas».
M c G a n n , I u n d e r s t a n d , is dead. I a m n o t s or r y for it. Indeei
I t hi nk t h a t for m o s t of u s t h e t i m e h a s g o n e by w h e n wi
c an se e t h e fun of p u t t i n g t a c k s on c ha ir s , or t hi st le s in hods
or live s n a k e s in p e o p l e ’s boots.
T o m e it h a s a l w a y s s e e m e d t h a t t h e v e r y e s s e n c e of gooi
h u m o u r is t h a t it m u s t be w i t h o u t h a r m a nd w i t h o u t malioi
I a d m i t t h a t t h e r e is in all of u s a c e r t a i n vein of old origin!
d e m o n i a c a l h u m o u r o r j o y in t h e m i s f o r t u n e of anotln
which s ti c k s to us like o u r original sin.
O n e can inde ed m a k e t h e s w e e p i n g a s s e r t i o n t h a t t h e tcllii
of s to ri es as a m o d e of a m u s i n g o t h e r s , o u g h t to be ke
within strict limits. F e w peopl e realize h o w e x t r e m e l y diffici
it is to tell a s t o r y so a s to r e p r o d u c e t h e real fun of it —
«get it over» a s t h e a c t o r s s ay. T he m e r e «facts» of a slo
s e ld om m a k e it f unny. It n e e d s t he ri ght wo r ds , w it h eve
wor d in its p r o p e r place. H e r e and t h e r e , p e r h a p s o nc e ii
h u nd re d t i m e s a s t or y t u r n s u p w h i c h n e e d s no telling, 'I
h u m o u r of ft t u r n s so c o m p l e t e l y on a s u d d e n twist
i n c o n g r u i t y in t h e d e n o u e m e n t of it t h a t no n a r r a t o r h o w e v e r
c l u m s y c a n a l t o g e t h e r f umbl e it.
Take, for e x a mp l e , t his well k n o w n i ns t a nc e — a s t o r y which,
in o n e form or o t he r , e v e r y b o d y h a s heard.
« G e o r g e G r o s s m i t h , t h e f a m o u s c o m e d i a n , w a s o n c e badly
r un d o w n a nd w e n t to c o n s u l t a d oc t or . It h a p p e n e d t h a t the
doctor, t h o u g h , like e v er y b o d y else, had often s ee n G r o s s m i t h
on t he s t a g e , ha d n e v e r s e e n him w i t h o u t his m a k e - u p and
did n o t k n o w him by si g h t . H e e x a m i n e d his p a t i e n t , looked
at his t o n g u e , felt his pu lse a nd t a p p e d his l ungs . T h e n h e ;
s h o o k his head.
«There is n o t h i n g w r o n g w it h you, sir», he said, « ex c ep t that
y o u ’re r u n d o w n from o v e r w o r k a nd w or r y. You n e e d rest
a nd a m u s e m e n t . T a k e a n i g h t off a nd go a n d se e G e o r g e
G r o s s m i t h at t h e Sa vo y» .
« Th a nk you»-, said t h e pat i e nt , «I a m G e o r g e G r o s s m i t h » . ' !
After S. Leacock

Look through the statements below and say

E x e r c ise I,
which are true to the text.
1. G r e a t h u m o u r is easil y re ve al e d to m o s t people.
2. E v e r y b o d y c l a i ms t h a t he h a s a s e n s e of h u m o u r .
3. Go od h u m o u r lies in t h e m e r e tr ick a n d quibble of words.
4. Goo d l i t e r a t u re is t h e o ne devoid of h u m o u r .
5. O n e n e v e r a d m i t s his o w n deficiency.
6. G oo d h u m o u r m u s t be w i t h o u t h a r m a n d malice.
7. A good h u m o r i s t is t h e one w h o pl ays pr act i cal j o k es on j
o t h e r people.
8. The m e r e f un n y f act s m a k e t h e real fun of it.
9. Furi a nd a m u s e m e n t is good r ec re at i o n ,
10. T e a r s and l a u g h t e r g o h a nd in han d.

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E x e r c i s e 2. Gi ve yo ur opinion on the f o l lo w in g s tat ements.

1. Life itself offers d e e p c o n t r a s t s .

2. Pai n a nd s o r r o w die w it h t h e ti me,
if. H u m o u r a lle vi at es suffering.
4. All peopl e ar e able to a p p r e c i a t e h u m o u r .
5 G r e a t c o m e d i a n t s are m o s t t a l e n t e d a ct or s .

Text 3
A M ysterious Adventure of Major Brown
M a j o r B r o w n w a s an able a nd d i s t i n g u i s h e d soldier. O n e
e n t h u s i a s m he had, w h i c h w a s of t h e n a t u r e of a religion —
I he cul t iv at io n of pansi es . An d w h e n he t a l ke d a b o u t his
col lection, his blue e y e s g lit te re d like a c h i ld ’s at a n e w toy.
So, far from r e g r e t t i n g his r e t i r e m e n t on half-pay, it w a s with
delight t h a t he t oo k a small n e a t villa, v e r y like a doll’s
h ous e , a n d d e v o t e d t h e rest of his life to p a n s i e s a nd w e a k
lea. H e w a s precise in his t a s t e for g a r d e n i n g and had, perhaps,
s o m e t e n d e n c y to drill his flowers like soldiers. And a s s u r e d l y
he w o u l d n o t h av e believed a n y o n e w h o ha d told h i m t h a t
within a f ew y a r d s of his brick p a r a di s e he w a s d e s t i n e d to
be c a u g h t in a whirlpool of incredible a d v e n t u r e s s u c h as he
had n e v e r s e e n or d r e a m e d of in t h e horrible j u n g le .
O n e c e r t a i n b r i g h t a nd w i n dy a f te r no on , t h e M a j o r a tt ir e d in
his u s u a l f a u l t l e s s m a n n e r , h a d s e t o u t for his u s u a l
co n st i t ut io na l. In c r o s s i n g from o n e g r e a t t h o r o u g h f a r e to
a n o t h e r , h e h a p p e n e d t o p a s s a l o n g o n e of t h o s e ai mles s -
l o ok ing l a n e s w h i c h lie a l o n g t h e b a c k - g a r d e n w a ll s of a r ow
of m a n s i o n s . B u t m e a n a n d su l ky a s t h e s c e n e m i g h t be in
the e y e s of m o s t of us, it w a s n o t a l t o g e t h e r so in t h e
M a j o r ’s, for a l o n g t he c o a r se gr ave l f o o t w a y w a s c o m i n g a
t h i n g w h i c h w a s to him w h a t t h e p a s s i n g of a religious
p r oc es si on is to a d e v o u t p er so n . A m a n w a s p u s h i n g before
him a b a r r ow , w h i c h w a s abla ze w i t h i n c o m p a r a b l e flowers:
the M a j o r ’s favorite p a n s i e s p r e d o m i n a t e d .

135
T h e M a j o r s t o p pe d a n d fell into c o n v e r s a t i o n , a n d t h e n into
b ar g ai n i ng ; at last he b o u g h t t h e m all. T he m a n w a s j ust
p u s h i n g off his b a r r o w w h e n he s t o p p e d and c a m e close to
t h e M a j o r . «If y o u ’re i n t e r e s t e d in t h e m . Sir», he said, «you
j ust g e t o n t o t h a t wall». «On t h e wall!» cried t h e s c a nd a li z ed
M a j or , w h o s e c o nv e n t i o n a l soul q u ai l e d w i th in him at t he
t h o u g h t of s u c h f a nt a s t i c t r e s p a s s . «Finest s h o w of yellow
p a n s i e s in E n g l a n d in t h a t g a r d e n , Sir», hi ssed t h e t e m p t e r
«I’ll help you up, Sir».
H o w it h a p p e n e d no o n e e v e r k n o w , b u t w i t h an e a s y leap
t h a t s h o w e d t h a t lie w a s in n o n e e d of phys i cal a s s i s t a n c e ,
h e s t oo d on th e wall a t t h e e nd of t h e s t r a n g e g a rd e n . The
s e c o n d after t h e f l a p p i n g of t h e f rock-coat at his k n e e s ma de
him feel a fool. B u t t h e n e x t i n s t a n t all s uch trifling s e n t i m e n t s
w e r e sw al l o w e d u p b y th e m o s t a p p al l i n g s h o c k of s upri se
t h e old soldier ha d e v e r felt in all his bold a nd w a n d e r i m 1.
existence.
H i s e y e s fell u p o n t h e g a r d e n , a n d t h e r e a c r o s s a l ar ge bed in
the c e n t r e of t h e l a w n w a s a v a s t p a t t e r n of p a n si e s ; t hey
w e r e s p l e n d i d f l o w e r s , b u t for o n c e it w a s n o t t h e i r
h or t ic ul tu ra l a s p e c t s t h a t M a j o r b e hel d, for t h e p a n s i e s w er e
a r r a n g e d in gi ga nt i c c apital l e tt e r s so as to form t h e se nt e nc e:
DEATH TO M A JO R BROWN
A kindly-looking m a n , w i t h w h i t e w h i s k e r s w a s w a t e r i n g
them.
G.K. Chesterton

E x e r c i s e 1. A n s w e r t he f o l l o w i n g questions.
1. W h a t w a s t h e ki nd of e n t h u s i a s m t h a t M a j o r Br own
possessed?
2. Did he r e g r e t his r e t i r e m e n t on half-pay?
3. H o w did he t a k e g a r d e n i n g ?
4. W a s t h e M a j o r ’s ret ired life devoid of a d v e n t u r e s ?
5. W h y d i d n’t t h e a i ml e s s - l o o k i n g l a ne s look s u l k y a n d m e a n
to t h e M a j o r w h e n he s e t o u t for his u s u a l c o ns t i t u t i on a l 1

136
li. W h y w a s n ’t t h e M a j o r e a g e r t o g e t on t h e wall?
7. W h a t s h o c k e d him b e hi nd t h e wall?
К W h a t do y ou t h i n k of t he old m a n ’s j oke?

E x ercise 2. Give your opinion on the following ideas.

I R e t i r e m e n t is a d :s a s t e r for e ld er l y people.

к Age r u i ns t h e b od y but t h e spirit r e m a i n s y o u n g , a nd

I h a t ’s t h e m a j o r t r a g e d y for a g e d people.
I T h o s e w h o a re k e e n on t h e i r h o b b i es are e i t h e r f un n y or
b o r in g people.
■I The b e st o c c u p a t i o n w h e n you a r e reti red is g a r d e n i n g .
h. Life e x p e c t a n c y d e p e n d s on s t a n d a r d s of living in y o u n g
and m a t u r e age.
li, No o n e w a n t s to live to be a h u n d r e d .

Text 4
G o ssip
I'lcd B a t t e r s b y had a fine col lecti on of m a r r i e d w o m e n , a n d
hr tried to t r e a t t h e m e q u a ll y . N o f avour it es . He u s u a l l y
lulled r o u n d on t h e m o n c e a w e e k , s t a y i n g p e r h a p s for an
l o u r , t r y i n g t o p a y e x a c t l y t h e s a m e a m o u n t of a t t e n t i o n to
p i ch one.
Ih still r e m e m b e r e d t h e d a y o n e of t h e m , A u d r e y Ball, ha d
H upped him in t h e s t r e e t a n d said: «I h e a r y o u ’ve b e e n to
see Ann t wi c e t hi s w e e k , a n d y o u h a v e n ’t b e e n to se e m e
finer!» Of c o u r s e s h e tried to m a k e it s ou n d like a joke, bu t
1’ i e d ’ s s e n s i t i v e a n t e n n a e p i c k e d u p t h e u n d e r t o n e s of
Ш lo u s y . A f t er t h a t , he w a s a l w a y s careful to s h a r e h ims el f
mil, as it w e r e ,
Su il w a s t h a t Fr ed had his r e g u l a r r o u nd , c al li ng in t u r n on
Audrey a n d A n n a n d J u d y a n d C a r ol a n d — b u t it is
Unne ce ss a ry to list t h e m all: t h e poi nt is t h a t t h e y w e r e all
Vri’y fond of Fr ed, and a l w a y s v e r y p l ea se d to s e e him.

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«Hello, Fred! C o m e in! I've just p u t t h e ket tl e on. W o u l d yo
like a c u p of t e a » ? said one.
«Ah, F r e d, I ’m so glad to se e y ou . I w o n d e r if y o u ’d give ы
a h a n d t o m o v e t h i s s e t t e e » ? said a n o t h e r .
«Good m o r n i n g , Fred. So r ry if I ’m n ot v e r y cheerful, b ut I Hi
wor ri ed a b o u t m y y o u n g e s t : s h e ’s g ot a terri bl e c o u g h » , sai
a third.
«Hello, Fr ed. H o w a re y ou ? I’m a bit fed u p myself. To le
you t h e t r u t h . Ri cha rd a nd I h a v e had a n o t h e r row», confide
a fourth.
And so it w e n t . Fr ed w a s like a c o u n s e l l o r to t h e m . H e wa
a friend, an ad v i se r, a d oc tor , a p r ie s t a n d a h a n d y m a n H
rolled i nto one. A n d Fred loved it. Firstly, he loved it b ec au s
he w a s g oo d at it. Fr ed lived alone, his wife h a v i n g died
y e a r or t w o before. H e w a s still no m o r e t h a n middle-aged
a tallish m a n , n ot h a n d s o m e , b u t w i t h a p l e a s a n t o pe n ‘.i
t h a t s e e m e d to e n c o u r a g e peopl e to c onfide in him. H e wa
good at it b e c a u s e he w a s one of t h o s e r ar e m e n w h o actuall
like w o m e n . Of c ourse, m os t m e n will tell you, and themselve
t h a t t h e y like w o m e n , b u t t h e fact is t h a t m o s t m e n ь ‘
m o r e r el ax ed a nd c o mf o r t a b l e in t h e c o m p a n y of o t h e r men
T h e y need w o m e n , c er ta inly, as lover s a nd m o t h e r s an
h o u s e k e e p e r s a n d a d m i re r s, b u t on t h e w h o l e t h e y d o n
a c t u al l y like t h e m — p r ob a bl y b e c a u s e t h e y do not reall;
understand them.
This is w h e r e Fr ed w a s different. H e e n j o y ed t h e c omp a n
of w o m e n , a nd he u n d e r s t o o d t h e m . H e k n e w w h a t it w i
like for m a r r i ed w o m e n to look af t er h o u s e s a nd hus band
a nd children, s er v in g up p e r h ap s t w e n t y me a l s a we ek , nursin
the f ami l y t h r o u g h its p r o b l e m s a n d i l l n es s es , listenin
p a t i e n t l y w ^i le h u s b a n d s c o m p l a i n e d a b o u t t h e b os s or ill
terrible t i m e t h e y had had at w o r k t h a t day. An d all t h e tim
t h e s e s a m e w o m e n w e r e t r y i n g t o s t a y a t t r a c t i v e a n d livel,
Fred u n d e r s t o o d all this, a n d did his b e s t to be a good frien
to his m a r r i e d ladies.
« H e r e y o u are, A n n . I’ve b r o u g h t y o u s o m e t o m a t o e s fro
m y g r e e n h o u s e . T h e y ’ll pu t t h e c o l o u r b a c k in y o u r cheeks

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"Audrey, y o u ’ve ha d y o u r ha i r do n e . It really s u i t s you»!
"I lei lo. J u d y . Y o u ’re l o o ki n g a bit tired. A re you s u r e y o u ’re
not o v e r d o i n g t h i n g s a bit»?
■•That's a p r e t t y d r e ss , Carol. W h a t ? Yo u m a d e it your sel f?
I wish I had a t a l e n t like t ha t» .
I le listened to their problems, took an i nt er es t in their children,
c o m p l i m e n t e d t h e m on t he ir a p p e a r a n c e , tried to m a k e t h e m
Ic e I i m p o r t a n t . H e e ve n flirted wit h t h e m s o m e t i m e s in a
l ight -heart ed w a y t h a t a m u s e d b ut n e v e r offended t h e m . In
■•hurt, he did all t h o s e t h i n g s t h a t h u s b a n d s s houl d do, but
oil on forget to do b e c a u s e t h e y are t oo b u s y a nd t oo w r a p p e d
up in t h e m s e l v e s .

So, Ann a nd A u d r e y a nd Carol a n d t h e r e st a p pr e c i a t e d Fr ed

when he c a m e r o u n d e a c h w e e k to collect t h e i n s u r a n c e
p m m i u m s . T h e y looked forward to a friendly c ha t, a he lping
hand w h e n t h e y n e ed e d one, or s i m p l y a b r e a k from t h e
bori ng r o u t i n e of h o u s e w o r k . B u t H a d l e y is a small village,
and t o n g u e s b e g a n to w a g . T h e s i g ht of F r e d ’s old bike
pl opped up a g a i n s t An n F l e t c h e r ’s front wall o r a g a i n s t t h e
ride of Car ol T u r n e r ’s h o u s e for an h o u r or mo r e , w h e n
e v er yo n e k n e w he only n e e d e d to be t h e r e t w o m i n u t e s ,
d a r t e d th e g o s s i p a m o n g t h e older village w o m e n .
"I a l w a y s said he w a s no good».
-I t h i nk it’s d is g r a c e . S h e ’s a ma r ri e d w o m a n w i t h t w o s mal l
children»!
с Нет poor h u s b a n d : he d o e s n ’t e v e n s u s p e c t w h a t ’s g o i n g
on»!

s I hat An n Fl et ch er . Pe rs on a l ly , I thi nk s h e leads him on, you

know, a c t u a l l y e n c o u r a g e s him»!
The w o r s t of t h e s e g o s s i p w a s u n d o u b t e d l y old M r s .
S o m e r s h a m . H e r h u s b a n d w a s not only t h e m a n a g e r оГ t he
local ba nk , b ut also c h a i r m a n of the Pa r is h Counci l. S h e told
him a b o u t h e r s u s p i c i o ns , b ut in t h a t indirect w a y wh i ch
ma k e s g o s s i p s e e m m o r e like c o n c e r n for t h e wel far e of
Others, M r . S o m e r s h a m took no notice at first, b ut t hen began
lo w o n d e r . H e h e a r d o n e o r t w o c o m m e n t s from o t h e r

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s o u r c e s and e v e n t u a l l y b e g a n to believe t h e st or ies abou
Fred. H e t h o u g h t for a w h i l e , a n d decided to have a quiet
w o r d wit h one of t h e h u s b a n d s . As is a l w a y s th e w a y wit!
t h e s e t h i n g s , it w a s not l ong before t h e o t h e r h u s b a n d s we r
m a d e a w a r e of t h e g o s s i p a b o u t t h e i r w i v e s a n d t l
u n s p e a k a b l e Fred B a t t e r s b y . Well, t h e s e m e n had their pride
so n a tu r al l y t h e y w e r e s u r e t h a t t he ir w i v e s w e r e as innocoiT
as a n g l e s . B u t it w a s c l e ar t h a t t h e s e i nn o c e n t a n g e l s wer
in d a n g e r from a w i d o w e r w i th a r o v in g e y e a nd the moral
of a s t r a y dog. S o t h e h u s b a n d s of Carol T u r n e r and Anr
F l e t c h e r a nd t h e r e st b e g a n t o g e t j e a i o u s or a n g r y <■
s ul ky, a nd t h e y b e g a n to s a y u nk in d t h i n g s or to dr op hint
a b o u t Fr ed B a t t e r s b y in t h e offhand w a y t h a t people hav
w h e n t h e y d o n ’t w a n t to look foolish bu t still w a n t to have
t h e i r w a y.
Ev e nt u al ly , the smell of scandal r e a c h ed t oo m a n y noses, an
s o m e t h i n g h a d t o h a p p e n . T i r e d of M r s . S o m e r s h a m '
r e f e r e n c e s to t h e s u bj e ct , M r . S o m e r s h a m decided to ha
a n o t h e r q u i e t wo r d , this t i me w i t h his old friend, Porter
w h o h a p p e n e d to be t h e m a n a g i n g d ir e ct or of t he insu'ranc
c o m p a n y t h a t Fr ed w o r k e d for.
J u s t a q u i e t w o r d w a s e n o u g h , Fred lost his job short
a f t e r w a r d s . H e could feel t h e cold a t m o s p h e r e a r o u n d hii
and, before long, p ac ke d his t h i n g s a n d m o v e d to a n ot h
village s ev er al m i le s a w a y , M r s . S o m e r s h a m c lucked wll
sa ti sf ac ti on, old S o m e r s h a m b r e a t h e d a s ig h of relief, Mi
offended h u s b a n d s relaxed, a nd p e a c e s et t l ed o n c e m o r e ov
Ha d le y .
For a t i me , t h a t is. B u t t h e n , t h e s t r a n g e s t t h i n g s be ga n
h a p p e n to F r e d ’s m a r r i e d l adies. N o t l o n g a f t e r Fredj
d e p a r t u r e , A n n F l e t c h e r had an affair (a real, s e r io u s lo
affair) w i t h i n e s t a t e a g e n t from St an f or d. T h e n , a m o nt h
t w o later, A u d r e y Ball j u s t g ot up o n e d a y a nd wal ked out
he r h u s b a n d . At a b o u t t h e s a m e t ime , a r u m o u r start
g o i n g r ou n d t h a t Carol T u r n e r w a s g e t t i n g a divorce. Ait
b y n o w, even t h e local p o s t m a n w a s a w a r e t h a t J u d y Sim
w a s no l o n g e r s l e e p i n g in t h e s a m e bed a s h e r h us ba nd,
least, t h e s e w e r e t h e kinds of r u m o u r s t h a t r ea c he d ev
Fred B a t t e r s b y , living in his little c a r a v a n in a n o t h e r viII.'
м ил е miles away. N o t t h a t he t oo k a n y not i ce of s uc h stories:
Fr ed' s t h e sort of m a n w h o h a s a l w a y s r efused to listen to
gossl p.

E x e r c i s e I. A n s w e r the c/ueslions on the text:

1 W e a re told v e r y little a b o u t Fred B a t t e r s b y ’s hist ory,
e x c e p t t h a t he is a w i do w er . Tr y to t hi n k of r e a s o n s w h y
he g ot on so well wi t h w o m e n . W h a t w a s his childhood
like? His p a r e n t s ? His wife? Did he h a v e a n y chi ld r e n?
2 W h a t w'as F r e d ’s i m p o r t a n c e to his ma rr i ed ladies? In
w h a t w a y , do you t hink, w e r e t h e y i m p o r t a n t to hi m?
3 M r s . S o m e r s h a m w a s t h e one w h o s t a r t e d t he g o s s i p
a b o u t Fred. W h y did s he do this, do you t hi nk ? W h a t
m a k e s people g o s s i p ? W a s M r . S o m e r s h a m also a g o s s i p
in y o u r v i e w ? W h a t w e r e his r e a s o n s for « h a v i n g a q u i e t
word» w i t h o n e of t h e h u s b a n d s ?
•I This s t o r y is s e t in a village. Could s u c h t h i n g s h a p p e n in
a big t o w n ?

Exercise 2. Giue your opinion on the statements that

iiune below:
1 G e n u i n e f r i en d sh ip is doubt ful b e t w e e n m a n a nd w o m a n
u n l e ss t h e r e ’s r o m a n c e o r a d m i r a t i o n there.
2 M e n are w o r s e g o s s i p s t h a n w o m e n .
It A friend in n ee d is a friend i nd ee d.
'I Fr iends a re not c h o s e n , t h e y are ma de ,
b A h u m a n b e i n g is bor n to be lonely.

Text 5
A W o m a n of Im p o rta n c e
’L ady Caroline: '...The t h i n g to do is to k e e p m e n in thei r
p r ope r place.
M r s . A l l o n b y : But w h a t is t he ir p rope r place, lady Carol ine?
L a d y C a r o l i n e : L o o k i n g af t e r t he ir wive s, M r s . Allonby.
M r s . A l l o n b y : Really? A n d if t h e y are n ot m ar r i e d ?
L a d y C a r o l i n e : If t h e y are not ma rr ie d, t h e y s hould be
lo ok i ng after a wife. It ' s p er f ec tl y s c a n d a l o u s t h e a m o u n t of
b a c he l o rs w h o ar e g o i n g a b o u t societ y. T h e r e s ho u l d be a
la w passed to c ompe l t h e m all to m a r r y within twe lve m o nt h s .

L a d y S t u t f i e l d : B u t if t h e y ' r e in love w i t h s o m e o n e wh o,
p er h a p s , is tied to a n o t h e r ?

L a d y C a r o l i n e : In t h a t c ase , Lady Stut fi el d. t h e y s h o ul d be

m a r r i e d off in a w e e k to s o m e plain r e s p e c t a b l e girl in or de r
to t e a c h t h e m n o t to m e d d l e wi th o t h e r p e o p l e ’s p r ope rty.
M r s . A l l o n b y : . I d o n ’t t h i n k t h a t w e s ho ul d e v e r be s p o k e n
of as o t h e r p e o p l e ’s p r o pe r t y . All m e n are ma r ri e d w o m e n ’s
p r op e rt y. T h a t is t h e onl y t r u e definition of w h a t ma rr i ed
w o m e n ’s p r o p e r t y really is. B u t we d o n ’t b e l o n g to a n y one.
L a d y S t u t f i e l d : Oh, I a m so very, very glad to hear you say that.
L a d y H u n s t a n t o n : B u t do you really t hi nk , d e a r Carol ine,
t ha t legislation w o u l d i m p r o v e m a t t e r s in a n y w a y ? I a m told
t h a t n o w a d a y s , all t h e m a r r i ed m e n live like bachel or s, a n d all
t h e b a c h el o r s like m a r r i e d m e n.
M r s . A l l o n b y : I c e r t a i nl y n e v e r k n o w o n e from t h e oth er .
L a d y S t u t f i e l d : O h , I t h i n k one c an a l w a y s k n o w a t o nc e
w h e t h e r a m a n ha s s o m e c la ims u po n life or not. I h av e
no ti ced a very, v e r y s a d e x p r e s s i o n in t h e e y e s of so m a n y
m a r r i ed me n.
M r s . A l l o n b y : Ah, all t h a t I h av e not iced is t h a t t h e y are
horribly tedi ous w h e n t h e y are good h u s b a n d s and a bo mi na bl y
c on c ei t ed w h e n t h e y a r e not.
L a d y S t u t f i e l d : ... J t h i n k a m a n s h o u l d l o o k- ve r y, v e r y
s t r o n g , a n d t h a t his c hi n s ho ul d be q u i t e , q u i t e s q u a r e .

M r s . A l l o n b y : T h e n y ou shoul d certai nly k n o w E r n e s t , Lady

Stutfield. It is onl y fair to tell you b ef o re h an d he h a s g ot no
c o nv e r s a t i o n at all.
L a d y S t u t f i e l d : I a d o r e silent me n.

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M r s . A l l o n b y : O h , E r n e s t i s n ’t silent. H e t a l k s t h e w h o l e
ti me . B u t he h a s g o t n o c o n v e r s a t i o n . W h a t he t al ks a b o u t
I d o n ’t kno w. I h a v e n ’t l is t e ne d to him for ye ar s.

L a d y S t u t f i e l d : ... B u t w a s it s o m e t h i n g ver y, v e r y w r o n g
t h a t M r . All onby did? Did he b e c o m e a n g r y with you, a n d sa y
u nk i nd or t r u e ?
M r s . A l l o n b y : O h , d ea r, no. E r n e s t is i nva ria bl y ca lm. T h a t
is o ne of t h e r e a s o n s he a l w a y s g e t s on m y n e rv e s . N o t h i n g
is so a g g r a v a t i n g a s c a l m n e s s .
L a d y S t u t f i e l d : ... B u t I w o u l d so m u c h like to k n o w w h a t
w a s t he w r o n g t h i n g M r . Al l on b y did.
M r s . A l l o n b y : We ll, I will tell y ou , if you p r o m i s e t o tell
e v e r y b o d y else.
L a d y S t u t f i e l d : T h a n k you, t h a n k you. I will m a k e a point
of r e p e a t i n g it,
M r s . A l l o n b y : W h e n E r n e s t a n d I w e r e e n g a g e d he s w o r e
to m e p o si tive ly o n his k n e e s t h a t he had n e v e r loved a n y o n e
before in t h e w h o l e c o u r s e of his life. I w a s v e r y y o u n g at
t h e t i m e , so I d i d n ’t believe hi m, I n e e d n ’t tell you. U n f o r t u ­
na tel y, h o w e v e r I m a d e no i n qu i r i e s of a n y kind till after I
had b e e n act ua ll y ma r ri e d four or five m o n t h s . I found o ut
t h e n t h a t w h a t he h a d told m e w a s p e rf ec tl y t ru e. An d t h a t
sor t of t h i n g m a k e s a m a n so a b so l u t e l y u n i n t e r e s t i n g .
L a d y H u n s t a n t o n : M e n a l w a y s w a n t to be a w o m a n ’s
first love. T h a t is t h e i r c l u m s y v a ni ty. W e w o m e n h a v e a
m o r e s u t t l e i n s t i n c t a b o u t t h i n g s . W h a t w e like is t o be a
m a n ’s last r o m a n c e .
By O. Wilde. An extract from the play

Choose a correct prompt for each of the items

E x e r c is e 1.
below to cover the overall contents of the extract:
1. T h e ladies a r e d i s c u s s i n g
a) c l a im s u p o n life.
b) m e n ’s p r o p e r pl ace in life.
c) t h e i r h u s b a n d s m a j o r a t t r a c t i o n s .

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2. In lady C a r o l i n e ’s v i e w s o c i e t y s h o u ld be c o n c e r n e d a b ou t
a) t h e a m o u n t of bachel or s.
b) m e n ’s w a y of life.
c) the place of w o m e n in soci et y.
3. W o m e n ’s s t a n d i n g in s o c i e t y c an be i mp r ov ed by
a) p a s s i n g a la w on p r o pe r ty .
b) i n v o l vi n g m e n in social activity.
c) l egis la ti on on m a r r i a g e .
4. All g o o d h u s b a n d s are
a) а Ь о т т а Ъ 1 у co nc ei te d.
b) t edi ous .
c) v e r y sad.
5. M a r r i e d w o m e n ’s p r o p e r t y really is
a) h u s b a n d s .
b) all m e n .
c) w h a t e v e r else b ut me n.
6. T h e ladies m a k e it a point t h a t
a) all m e n a re a b s o l u t e l y u n i n t e r e s t i n g people.
b) a h a p p y m a r r i a g e is a t r u e sol ut io n to all p r o bl e ms .
c) w o m e n a re m o r e s u b t l e c r e a t u r e s t h a n me n ..

E xe r c ise 2. Arrange the words that follow into three

columns as features attributed particularly to a) bachelors,
b) married men, c) both:
m e d d l i n g w i t h o t h e r p e o p l e ’s p r o p e r t y ; ma r ri e d w o m e n ’s
p r op e rt y; living like bachelors; living like mar ri ed men; h av i ng
a sad e x p r e s s i o n in t h e eyes; horri bly t ed i ou s; a b o m i n a b l y
conceited.; s hould look v e r y s t r o ng ; t h e i r ch i ns s ho ul d be
q u i t e , q u i t e s q u a r e ; h a v e v a ni t y; w a n t to be a w o m a n ’s first
love.

Exercise 3. Pick out the ladies’ ideas on perfecting a) ba­

chelors, b) married men; c) both single and married men.

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E x e r c ise 4 . Say what you think of the following statements
from the text:
к M e n ’s p r o p e r place is l o o k i ng a ft er t he i r wives.
2. A law s h o ul d be p a s s e d to c o m p e l b a c h el o r s to ma rr y.
3. All m e n ar e m a r r i ed w o m e n ’s p r o pe r t y .
4. W o m e n d o n ’t b e l o n g t o a n y o n e .
5. N o w a d a y s all t h e m a r r i e d m e n live like b ac he l or s, and all
t h e b a c h e l o r s live like m a r r i ed m e n .
6. M e n a r e hor r ibl y t e d i o u s if t h e y ar e g oo d h us b a n d s .
7. M e n a l w a y s w a n t to be a w o m a n ’s first love. W h a t w o m e n
like is to be a m a n ’s last r o m a n c e .

E x e r c is e 5. Answer the following questions.

1. W h e r e do you t h i n k w e s h o u l d look for h a p p i n e s s ? Sh ou ld
w e look inside o u r s e l v e s or at t h e wor ld out si de , or in
o t h e r p eo p le ?
2. W h a t is t h e s i gn i f i ca nc e of m a t e ri a l t h i n g s , do you t h in k?
3. W h a t do y o u t h i nk is t h e t r u e s o u r c e of h u m a n welfare
a n d h a p p i n e s s ? I s n ’t w o r k a t t h e c or e of it? O r is it love
or a n y t h i n g else?
4. W o u l d y ou c o n s i d e r a n y o n e a d r o p o u t if he is single in
m ature age?

5. W h a t kind of pe ople a r e g e n e r a l l y difficult to deal wi th or

s y m p a t h i s e w i t h ? W h a t m a k e s you feel s o r r y for o t h e r
p eo p l e ?

Text 6
The Lady or the Tiger
In t h e old d a ys , a b a r b ar i c k i n g lived in a far-off c o u n t r y . Ho
had g r e a t p o w e r , a nd he liked to l a ug h. Also, he liked to play
b a r ba r ic j o k e s w i t h t h e law. W h e n a m a n broke th e law, t h e
k i n g did n ot a l w a y s s end him to prison. S o m e t i m e s he ordered

6 З а к . 1974 145
г
t h e m a n to c o m e to t h e k i n g ’s a r e n a and t h e n invited all
peopl e to c o m e a n d w a t c h .
Af t er t h e p eo pl e w e r e in t he ir s e a t s , t h e k i n g w o u l d sit
d o w n on his t h r o n e , a n d t h e p r i s o n e r w ou ld s t e p into t he
c e n t r e of t h e a r e n a . O p p o s i t e him w e r e t w o d o o r s e x a c t l y
alike. B eh in d o n e d o o r w a s a h u n g r y tiger. Be h in d t h e o t h e r
door w a s a beaut if ul lady. T h e p r i s o n e r could o p e n e i t h e r
door. H i s f r e ed o m w a s c o m p l e t e . B u t he had to o p e n a^door.
If t h e t i g e r c a m e o u t, it a t e t h e m a n .
T h e n t h e people w e r e s a d b e c a u s e t h e m a n w a s q u i l t y . If
the beautiful lady c a m e out, a priest m a rrie d th e tw o
i mm e d i a t e l y . T h e n t h e peopl e w e r e glad b e c a u s e t h e m a n
w a s i n n o c e n t . E i t h e r w a y , t h e m a n w a s pl ea se d w i t h himself.
A d a y c a m e w h e n t h e k i n g w a s n o t pleased. H e di s co v e r ed
t h a t his beaut if ul d a u g h t e r , t h e p ri nc es s , had b e e n in love
w i t h t h e w r o n g m a n for m a n y m o n t h s . T h e y o u n g m a n w a s
h a n d s o m e a n d b ra ve , b ut he w a s n ot t h e s o n of a king. His
posi tion in life w a s low.
T h e k i n g w a s v e r y a n g ry . H e did n ot s e n d t h e y o u n g m a n to
prison.
T h e r e c a m e t h e d a y for him t o a p p e a r in t h e a re n a.
N o w t h e p r i n c e s s loved t h e y o u n g m a n w it h all h e r h e a rt .
W i t h t h e help of gold, s h e d is c ov e re d t h e s e c r e t of t h e t w o
doors. T h e n s h e faced a dreadful q u e s t i o n . W h i c h did s h e
w a n t for h e r l o v e r ? — t he lady o r t h e t ig e r? T h e lady w a s
beauti ful a n d s h e ha d s mi le d at t h e lover m o r e t h a n on ce .
T h e p r i n c e s s h a t e d her. An d y e t t h e tiger! T h e blood! T h e
p r i n c e s s w a s b a r b ar i c like h e r father. W a s t h e lady t o h av e
t h e lover w h e n t h e p r i n c e s s could n o t ? Af te r m a n y d a y s a nd
n i g h ts , s h e m a d e u p he r mind.
O n t h e dr eadf ul dhy, all t he pe opl e g a t h e r e d in t h e a r e n a.
T h e k i n g s at d o w n on his high t h r o n e . Hi s d a u g h t e r , w h i t e
a nd silent, s a t be si d e him. T h e y o u n g m a n w a l k e d to t he
c e n t r e of t h e a r e n a a nd looked u p a t t h e p r i nc e ss . Hi s e ye s
asked: « W hi c h d oo r» ? S h e lifted h e r h a n d a n d m a d e a slight,
q u i c k m o v e m e n t to t h e right. N o o ne bu t he r lover s a w
her. H e t u r n e d a n d w a l k e d w i t h a firm a nd rapid s t e p a c r o s s

146
t h e e m p t y s p a ce . H e w e n t to the d o o r on t h e r ig ht a nd
o p e n e d it.

W h i ch c a m e out, t h e lady o r t h e ti ge r?
To the end of life, S t o c k t o n m a i n t a i n e d t h a t he did not k n o w
which c a m e o u t of t h e ri gh t- ha nd door. It d e p e n d e d u p o n
w h a t t he r e a d e r t h o u g h t of t h e pr in c ess .

By R. Stockton

E xercise 1. Read the story and answer the questions on it.

1. W h a t did t h e b ar b ar i c k i n g do w h e n a m a n b ro k e t h e law?
2. H o w did t h e peopl e u s u a l l y t a k e e i t h e r ch o i ce ?
3. W h y did the king m a k e the y o u n g m a n a pp e ar in the a r en a ?
4. W h i c h d oor do y o u t h i n k t h e p r i n c e s s p o in t ed to ? W h a t
m a k e s you t h in k so?
5. W h a t do y ou t h in k t h e p r i n ce s s s houl d h ave d o n e ?
6. T h e a u t h o r w a s u n f ai r t o his r ea de r s. Do y ou mi nd t hi s?

E xercise 2. Give your opinion on the statements below.

1. W o m e n a r e mi l i t a n t a n d m o r e cr uel t h a n m e n .
2. W o m e n are unr el ia bl e, irrati onal , d e p e n d on i ns t i nc t .
3. W o m e n are m o r e often u n h a p p y t h a n me n.
4. T h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t t h i n g for w o m e n is b e a r i n g and r e a r i n g
children.

5. It is i mp os si bl e to be g o od wi ves, m o t h e r s a nd s uc c e s s f u l
career women.

Text 7
The Perfect Murder
F o r 22 y e a r s M a r k M e l c h e r had w a l k e d from his d r u g s t o r e
t o his h o u s e at e x a c t l y 5 o ’clock. M e t h o d i c a l M a r k w a s . For
22 y e a r s he h a d b e e n g r e e t e d r es pe ctf ul ly a l o n g t h e w a y by

147
%
m e n and w o m e n w h o ha d g r o w n old w it h him. Dignified
M a r k wa s. . F o r 2 2 y e a r s he had s t o p p e d to pa t t h e h e a d s of
chi ldren a nd give t h e m p e n n y c and ie s . Kindly M a r k wa s .
« W o u l d n ’t h u r t a fly», as Bob B a r s t o w , t h e sheriff,-often said.
M a r k w a s W ii l o w v i ll e ’s best-loved citi zen, all right. Pe ople
c a m e to hi m w i t h t h e i r t r o u b l e s . B e h i n d his old, d u s t y
p r e s c r i p t i o n c o u n t e r he li stened to t h e s e c r e t s of h u m a n
b e i n g s w h o t r u s t e d him. H e had a w a y a b o u t hi m, M a j k had,
so t h a t y o u li st ened to his advice, a n d ca rr ie d it out, a nd
found y o u r s e l f t h e b e t t e r for it.
E mil y H o l d e n w a s a m i g h t y p r e t t y girl of a b o u t 22. T he
s c h o o l t e a c h e r , a nd a good one. E v e n t h e pupils liked her.
S h e had c o m e to Willowville e ar ly in S e p t e m b e r a n d by
Christm as she w as dead in love wi th A n d r e w Fellows.
Old M a n F e l l o ws — he w a s n ’t so v e r y old, t h o u g h , c o m e to
t h i nk of it — Was t h e r i che st m a n in t o w n a n d head of
school board. So, na t ur a ll y , he s a w a lot of E m i l y Hol de n.
S h e w e n t up to his h o u s e n o w a nd t h e n to talk o v e r school
m a t t e r s a n d it w a s plain to s ee, af t e r a spell, t h a t s h e w a s
g o n e o v e r him. N o t j u s t in love, y ou u n d e r s t a n d , b u t c r a z y
a b o u t h im — like s o m e w o m e n g e t o v e r a m a n .
Well, E m i l y c a m e into M a r k M e l c h e r ’s d r u g s t o r e o ne d a y
and go t b eh ind t h e p r e s c r i p t i o n c o u n t e r a nd b e g a n to talk
on s o m e t h i n g awful. M a r k listened to h e r s t o r y, a nd while
s h e w a s t e l li n g it his e y e s g ot to l o o k i ng m i g h t y ugly.
«And you s a y A n d r e w Fe ll ows is t h e m a n ? » he d e m a n d e d
w h e n s he g o t t h r o u g h .
«Oh, I h ave b e e n s u c h a fool!» E mi l y s o b be d . « Bu t I loved
him so, a nd he p r o m i s e d to m a r r y m e . A n d n o w he t h r e a t e n s
to tell s o m e t h i n g he s a y s is terrible. O h , w h a t shall 1 do,
Mr. Melcher»?
M a rk put his a r m s a r o u n d E mi l y H o l d e n a n d held h e r close
and cried. It w a s awful. P r e t t y soon he pulled himself t o g e t h e r
and w e n t to t h e b a n k a nd c a s h e d a fat c he ck. T h e n he c a m e
back and g a v e E mi l y t h e m o n e y .
«You go», he said, «to t h e ad d r e ss » — he g a v e h e r t h e n a m e
of s o m e b o d y in N e w Y o r k — «and tell t h e lady t h e r e all

148
a b o u t it. Tell h e r M a r k M e l c h e r s e n t you. A n d d o n ’t y ou
e v e r c o m e b a c k to Willowville, Emil y».
Emi ly i ns is ted s h e w o u l d n ' t t a k e t h e m o n e y , of c o u r s e . Bu t
M a r k j u s t took he r in his a r m s a nd kissed h e r m i g h t y t en de rl y
a nd m a d e h e r do it. T h e n , w h e n s h e w a s g o n e , he g o t behi nd
his p r e s c r i p t i o n c o u n t e r a g ai n a n d w a it e d.
Ele ha d m a d e u p his m i n d to kill Old M a n Fell ows, to c onfess,
a n d to let t h e m h a n g hi m if t h e y w a n t e d to.
P r e t t y s o o n Old M a n F e l lo ws c a m e in to a s k for s o m e of
t h e e y e w a s h he u s u a l l y b o u g h t .
« Go t a n e w kind, A n d r e w » , M a r k said slowly. « S m e l l s nice,
too».

H e w e n t b eh in d t h e c o u n t e r a n d g o t a half o u n c e of p ru ss ic
acid. T h e p u r e stuff, indiluted. T h e n he let Old M a n Fel lows
t a k e a little whiff of it.

« S m e l l s s o r t of like p e a c h b l o s s o m s » , said Ol d M a n Fellows.

«Kind of nice, i s n ’t it»?
«It’s nice», said M a r k , «and j u s t a s g o o d for t h e e y e s a s it
s me ll s. I’ve only g o t t hi s m u c h , b u t I’ll let y ou h a v e it, s a m e
price a s t h e o the r».
Old M a n Fe l lo ws s mi led. M a r k did, too, for he k n e w t h a t a
s i ng le d r o p of p u r e p r u s s i c acid i ns ide t he e y e w o u l d kill Old
M a n F e l l ow s a l m o s t a s q u i c k as l ig h t ni ng .
Old M a n F e l lo ws paid o v e r his m o n e y a nd s t a r t e d to leave.
It w a s 5 o ’clock, so M a r k w e n t w i t h him. At his h o u s e M a r k
t u r n e d in a nd b ad e his friend g ood- bye .

E a r l y n e x t m o r n i n g t h e n e w s s p r e a d like wildfire. M r s
T h o m p s o n , Old M a n F e l l o w s ’ h o u s e k e e p e r ha d fo u nd him
d e a d e r t h a n a doornai l w h e n s h e w e n t u p s t a i r s t o s e e w h a t
had k ept h im so l o n g before b r e a k fa s t . N e a r h e r m a s t e r s-he
fo un d a little b o t t l e , a n d g r i p p e d in Old M a n F e l l o w s ’ hand,
so t i g h t l y t h a t he ha d c r u s h e d it, a n e y e d r o p p e r .
At 5 o ’clock t h a t a f t e r n o o n M a r k M e l c h e r closed his st or e,
locked it, a nd w a l k e d o v e r to t h e s heri ff’s office. H e w a s
g o i n g t o c on f e ss , a n d c l e ar his c o n s c i e n c e , a n d his p e a c e

149
w i t h Go d, e v e n if t h e y h a n g e d hi m for it. H e d i d n ’t c ar e n o w
w h a t happened.
«Bob», he said to t h e sheriff, «I’ve c o m e to gi ve mys el f up. I
killed A n d r e w Fel lows».
T h e sheriff s t a r t e d t o l a ugh , b u t o n e look at M a r k ’s e ye s
s t o p p e d him. Wi ld - l oo k i ng a nd s o r t of g l a s s y t h e y w e r e —
like c r a z y p e o p l e ’s e y e s. T h e sheriff told M a r k to sit d o wn
a nd w e n t o u t si d e for a m i n u t e to w h i s p e r s o m e t h i n g to his
deputy.
« M a r k M e l c h e r ' s g o i n g crazy», he said. «He t hi nks h e ’s killed
Old M a n Fellows. C a n you beat it? W h y , M a r k w o u l d n ’t h ur t
a fly. T o o bad ! T h e y w e r e friends for ye a rs , t h o s e t wo.
Q u e s s it m u s t h av e hit M a r k p r e t t y hard».
T h a t n e w s s p r e a d like wildfire, too. M a r k M e l c h e r ha d g o n e
kind of c r a z y o v e r Ol d M a n F el lo ws ' d e a t h. W a s n ’t it a
s h a m e . And M a r k s u c h a fine m a n . So s y m p a t h e t i c . T oo
s y m p a t h e t i c , he w a s , w o r r y i n g hi ms e lf c r a z y o ve r his friend’s
d e a t h b e c a u s e he had sold him s o m e poison. As if he could
h a v e k n o w n t h a t Old M a n Fellow's w a s g o i n g to c o m m i t
sui ci de, like t h e c o r o n e r said !
H e go t to w a n d e r i n g a r o u n d Willowville, t e ll ing e v e r y b o d y
he had killed Old M a n Fel lows . Folks would listen, s h a k e
t h e i r h e a ds , and say, « T h a t ’s t oo bad, M a r k . T h a t ’s too bad».
T h e n t h e y w ou ld wa lk on. P r e t t y soon M a r k g ot so he w'ould
w a k e u p at ni gh t a nd s c r e a m . His h o u s e k e e p e r left him.
T h e y p u t M a r k a w a y in D o e S m i t h ’s s a n a t o r i u m . E v e r y b o d y
s a y s it’s too bad a n d t h e y c a n ’t i m ag i n e how' M a r k M e l c h e r
e v e r g ot t h e idea t h a t he killed Old M a n Fellows.
B u t t h e n , Willowville folks d o n ’t k n o w to this d a y t h a t E mi l y
H o ld e n w a s M a r k M e l c h e r ’s d a u g h t e r , t h a t M a r k had no
h u m a n b e i n g on e a r t h w h o k n e w t h o s e t hi ngs .

(By Roy I. Magnum)

Choose a correct prompt for each of the items

E x e r c is e 1.
to cover the overall contents of the story.

150
1. M a r k M e l c h e r w a s
a) a rich d r u g s t o r e ke ep er .
b) Wi l l owv il l e ’s b e s t ci ti zen.
c) a c r a z y p er s on .
2. E mi ly H ol d e n w a s
a) a plain girl.
b) a p r e t t y girl.
c) of e x ce p t i o n a l b e au t y .
3. A n d r e w Fe l lo ws w a s
a) t he r ic he st m a n in t o w n .
b) a v e r y old h e a d of s chool board.
c) a n old w o m a n i s e r .
4. M a r k M e l c h e r m a d e u p his mi nd to kill Old M a n Fell ows
a) o u t of j e al o u s y .
b) to p r o t e c t Emily.
c) to b u r y his o w n s e c r et .
5. P e o p le of Willowville w o u l d n ’t believe M a r k M e l c h e r ' s
c on fe ss io n b e c a u s e
a) t h e y t h o u g h t he ha d g o n e kind of c r a z y o v e r his
f ri end's d ea t h.
b) M a r k w a s s u c h a fine m a n .
c) t h e y t r u s t e d him.
6. M a r k li stened to E m i l y ’s s t o r y a nd
a) d i d n ’t beli eve her.
b) c o u l d n ’t pull h ims el f t o g e t h e r .
c) cried.

7. H e m a d e E m i l y t a k e t h e m o n e y
a) to p a y t h e l ady in N e w York.
b) to bribe A n d r e w Fellows.
c) to r e n t a flat in N e w York.
8. H e offered A n d r e w Fe ll ows
a) a n e w kind of t h e e y e w a s h .
b) u n d i lu t ed p r u s s i c acid.
c) t h e usual st uf f for t h e e y e w a s h .

151
9. E a r l y n e x t m o r n i n g t h e n e w s s p r e a d like wildfire t h a t
a) A n d r e w Fe ll ows had b ee n killed.
b) had died by a cc i de nt .
c ) had c o m m i t t e d suicide.
10. At 5 o ’clock t h a t afternoon M a r k w e n t to t he s h e ri f fs office
a) to c o n f e s s a nd cl ear his c o n s c i e n c e .
b) to give e vide nc e.
c) to d e m a n d p u n i s h m e n t .
11. The sheriff w as sure Ma r k had gone kind of crazy because he
a) ha d sold A n d r e w s o m e poison.
b) had c r a z y p e o p l e ’s eyes.
c) had k n o w n t h a t Old M a n F e l l o w s w a s g o i n g to
c o m m i t suicide.
12. P e o p l e w o u l d listen t o M a r k ’s s t o r y a nd
a) c o m f o r t him.
b) s h o u t at him.
c) s h a k e t he ir heads.
13. P r e t t y s oo n M a r k
a) died.
b) followed E m i l y to N e w Yor k.
c) p u t u p in a s a n a t o r i u m .

E x e r c is e 2. A n s w e r the q ue st i ons on t he p o i n t s r a i s ed in
the text.
1. D o you like to read d e t e c t i v e s t o r i e s ?
2. W h o m do y ou c o n s i d e r t o be t h e b e s t d e t e c t i v e fiction
writer?
3. D o y ou t h i n k t h e title «Pe rf ec t M u r d e r » best r e ve a ls t h e
plot of t h e s t o r y or t h e a u t h o r ’s a t t i t u d e t o t h e e v e n t
d es c r i b e d in t h e s t o r y ?
4. D o you t h i n k an e v e n t like t h e o n e d e p ic t ed in t h e s t o r y
m i g h t t a k e place in reality?
5. C a n a t oo s y m p a t h e t i c p e r s o n be a m u r d e r e r ?
6. W h a t is t h e origin of v io le nc e a n d c r i m e in y o u r op i ni on ?
7, W h a t ar e t h e w a y s to p r e v e n t a nd s t o p v io le n ce ? D o y ou
believe m o r e in p u n i s h m e n t or p s y c h o l o g i c a l g u i d a n c e ?
W h a t is y o u r a t t i t u d e to capital p u n i s h m e n t ?

Text 8
W hat Does This Mean?
— T h e s e n e w s p a p e r h e a dl i n e s a re difficult t o u n d e r s t a n d .
Listen. W h a t d o e s t his one m e a n ? «Broke St ol e Fr oz en Food?»
— It m e a n s t h e m a n w a s b r o k e . . H e had n o m o n e y so he
s t ol e s o m e frozen food. Fo o d is frozen to k e e p fresh.
— B u t listen t o t hi s « S t u n g by De fe at ». O b v i o u s l y s t u n g by
his de f ea t y e s t e r d a y , S m i l l e r ’s s w u n g a n d s t r u c k w i t h g r e a t
d e t e r m i n a t i o n a n d finally w o n t hi s a f t e r n o o n .
— O h , S m i l l e r is a golfer. It m e a n s t h a t s t u n g or a n n o y e d
by his r e c e n t d e f e at he s w u n g his cl ub a n d s t r u c k the±>all in
a v e r y d e t e r m i n e d w a y t hi s a f t e r n o o n a nd w o n t h e g a m e .
— You are certa inly clever at headlines, Peter. W h a t
n e w s p a p e r ar e y o u r e ad i n g ?
— I’v e c h o s e n «The G u a r d i a n » t h i s m o r n i n g . A f te r r e a d i n g
s o m e of t h e n e w s p a p e r s M o t h e r ’s g o t t h e r e , I t h o u g h t I’d
n e v e r do it a ga i n.
— O h , d o n ’t e x a g g e r a t e . I t ’s n o t a s bad a s t ha t.
— B u t l isten to this, w h a t on e a r t h d o e s it m e a n ? « T w e n t y
a n d N e v e r B e e n Kissed».
— It m e a n s t h a t t h e girl is 2 0 y e a r s old a nd s h e ’s n e v e r
b e e n kissed.

— W h a t a ridiculous n e w s item! I a gr e e with P e t e r — s o m e

n e w s p a p e r s a r e trivial, full of g oss ip , divorce a nd crime.
— All t h e s a m e y o u ' v e c e r t a i nl y b ee n buried in t h e m for
t h e last q u a r t e r of an hour.
— T h a t i s n ’t t r u e . T he only good t h i n g t h a t y ou c a n s a y
a b o u t t h e s e n e w s p a p e r s is t h a t print a n d t h e p i c t u r e s are

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e xc el le nt . L is t en. H e r e ’s a s e n s a t i o n a l r ep or t a b o u t a m a n
w h o stole his b r o t h e r ’s false t e e t h .

— You s ee. It d oe s i n t e r e s t you.

— No, b u t m a n y Engl is h p a p e r s a r e e xc el le nt . If y o u read
«The T i m e s » or «The G u a r d i a n » or ...
— I t h i n k w e s houl d b r e a k u p t hi s d i scus si on.
— Yes. W h a t ar e you g o i n g t o do t his m o r n i n g ? Ybu s po k e
of g o i n g to se e s o m e o n e , M r . Sa ll us ?
— Yes, I t h i n k I’ll find t h i s b u s i n e s s friend of mi ne.
— W o u l d y o u like t o s e e s o m e of t h e s h o p s w i t h m e ,
M r s . Sa ll us ?
— O h , t h a t ’s v e r y kind of you. Co uld w e go to t h e o n e
w h e r e you b o u g h t t h a t lovely d r e s s y o u ’re w e a r i n g ? I like
t h e o n e y o u w o r e y e s t e r d a y , too.
— All ri gh t . A f te r r e a d i n g t h o s e n e w s p a p e r s I feel t h a t
e v e r y o n e w e m e e t will e i t h e r be di vor ced or w e a r i n g s o m e ­
o n e e l s e ’s t e e t h .
Yo u o u g h t to read s o m e different n e w s p a p e r s t o m o r r o w .
From the Lingaphone Course
<
<
Americans in England». N. Y 1971

E x e r c is e 1. Choose in the text the correct answer to each

of the questions below.
1. W h a t did M r s . S a l l u s find difficult t o u n d e r s t a n d in
newspapers?
a) i t e m s
b) h e a dl in e s
c) a d v e r t i s e m e n t s
2. W h a t n e w s p a p e r s a re trivial, full of gossi p, divorce a nd
crime?
a) q u a l i t y n e w s p a p e r s
b) p o p u l a r
c) local

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3. W h a t is e xc el le nt in E ng l i s h n e w s p a p e r s in M r s . S a l l u s ’
vi e w?

a) var iabi li ty of i t e m s
b) s e n s a t i o n a l r e p o r t s
c) t h e pr int a nd t h e p i c t u r e s

E x e r c i s e 2. A n s w e r the quest ions on the issues r ai sed in

the talk.
1. Do y o u find E n g l i s h n e w s p a p e r h e a d l i n e s difficult to
understand?
2 W h a t E n g l i s h n e w s p a p e r s do y ou r ead as a rule?
3 W h a t n e w s p a p e r s do you give pr ef er ence to in this c o u n t r y ?
•1 W h a t fe a ture s w ould m a k e this or th at n e w s p a p e r
e x c e p t i o n a l in a w a y ?
> W h a t is s u e s do you th in k are m o s t v alu able in a
newspaper?
Ii W h a t s c o p e of p r o b l e m s s ho ul d be raised in a n e w s p a p e r
in y o u r vi ew?
7 W h a t ’s y o u r a t t i t u d e t o w a r d s a d v e r t i s i n g in n e w s p a p e r s ?
8 W h e r e do R u s s i a n a n d British n e w s p a p e r s differ a s far as
t he ir c o m p o s i t i o n a nd c o n t e n t s ar e c o n c e r n e d ?

Text 9
Competence in English?
(Some practical advice
for very advanced students)
British p eo p l e c e a s e t o be a m a z e d at f o r e ig n er ' s c o m m a n d
of Engli sh. T h e y a d m i r e th e f o r e i g n e r ’s rich a nd varied r a n g e
of e x p r e s s i o n in Eng l is h , t h e a c c u r a c y of th ei r g r a m m a r a nd
I he p ur i t y of t h e i r s o u n d s . H o w e v e r , only a few n o n - n at i v e
s p e a k e r s e v e r s u c c ee d in c on c ea l in g th ei r forei gnness entirely,
e v e n t h o s e w h o h av e lived in a n E n g l i s h - s p e a k i n g e n v i r o n ­
m e n t for a n u m b e r of y ea r s. W h y s houl d t hi s be s o? Are t h e

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forei gners t oo lazy? Is Engli sh really so impossibl e to m a s t e r ? !
Ar e l e a r n e r s p e r h a p s c o n c e n t r a t i n g o n t h e w r o n g a r e a s of J
E n gl i s h ? O r is it c o n s i d e r e d a w a s t e of t i m e a nd e n e r g y to i
pe rf ec t o n e ' s E ng l i s h b e yo nd t h e s t a g e of c o m m u n i c a t i v e ■
competence?
I n d e e d , m a n y l e a r n e r s a r e s a t i s f i e d w i t h b e i n g abl e to
c o m m u n i c a t e s u c c e s s f u l l y in Engl i sh a n d ar e no t part icul ar ly
i n t e r e s t e d in t h e l a n g u a g e a s s u c h , b u t n e e d to Jae able to \
u se t, for e x a m p l e , w i t h c o l l e a g u e s or visitors. T h e y m a y j
well c o n s i d e r t h a t little is to be g a i n e d from a t t e m p t i n g to
iron o u t t h e t ell tale foreign t r a c e s in t h e i r s p e e c h habits.
O t h e r s m a y feel t h a t if t h e y m a n a g e to s o u n d like a nati ve
s p e a k e r , t h e y will los e s o m e t h i n g of t h e i r p e r s o n a l i t y .
L a n g u a g e s p e c i al i s t s on t h e w h o l e t e n d t o desi re to m a s t e r
E ng l is h a s well a s h u m a n l y possi bl e. D u r i n g m y s t a y in th e
So v i et U n i o n I h a v e b e e n a s k e d t i m e a n d t i m e a g ai n by
•advanced s t u d e n t s to point o u t to t h e m a n y w e a k n e s s e s
w h a t e v e r in t h e i r E n g l i s