1 DONT MAKE ASSUMPTIONS (7/24/11) SCRIPTURES: Matthew 7: 1-6 KEY CONCEPTS: Making assumptions; our assumptions are the

only truth; communication OPENING ILLUSTRATION: Without wishing our lives away, Im really looking forward to the Fall season. For a myriad of reasons least of which is cooler temperatures, SEC Football & some new shows on network television! However, there was a show that happened to be last week that caught my attention & perfectly illustrates this weeks agreement! The show, Glee, has a character named Sam who seemed to be meeting Quinn & Kurt at a hotel at separate times. Of course, all the other members of the Glee Club were up in arms since Quinn was dating Finn & Kurt was dating Blaine. Since people had witnessed & photographed both Quinn & Kurt leaving the hotel at separate times they assumed Quinn & Kurt were both sexually involved with Sam. And in case youve not seen this episode (or this show)Ill tell you how all this played out a little later. WILL YOU PRAY WITH ME? PRAYER:

OPENING THOUGHTS:Now, Im sure that youve never made an assumption that got you into trouble, have you? Did you ever think a person was thinking something either about you & then you made up a whole story about it? It was probably an elaborate story, with some incredible details. And then after you spent hours obsessing about it, telling others about YOUR assumptions, you discover that your assumptions were SO wrong, so out in left field & that the person youd accused was not EVEN thinking about you, much less talking about you! GENERAL INSIGHT: (Online reading) Now, I DO want to distinguish between assumptions and the use of intuition/sense of knowing. And here is MY opinion about the difference between these two.  Assumptions: believing something to be true without any evidence; taking something for granted; any belief that we accept without critical thought/analysis  Intuition/Sense of Knowing: Often based on a 6th sense; critical thought/analysis & internal reflections or insights; also an internal consciousness with life experience. GENERAL QUOTES: Don Miquel Ruiz, author of The 4 Agreements stated that when we stop MAKINGASSUMPTIONS we:  Find the courage to ask questions & to express what WE really want  Communicate with others as clearly as we can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness & drama  This ONE agreement will completely transform your life. GOSPEL READINGMATTHEW 7: 1-6: Jesus put it this way in todays Gospel readingDont pass judgment, so you wont bejudged. How is it that we can so clearly see & point out the speck in someone elses eye & we have a log sticking out of your own? Work hard to not to make assumptions. We dont want people to make assumptions about us. Jesus DOES call us to help our brothers & sisters with their issues & challenges (i.e. the sliver/splinter in their eye) BUT not until we have first taken care of our own issues (i.e. the plank/timber). See Matthew 7: 1-5.

2 GENERAL APPLICATION: When we think about it, assumptions are a form of prejudicea form of pre-judging. When we are merely aware of our assumptions, we can take the 1st step to stop (or at least decrease) our assumptions. By focusing on our interior self & holding ourselves personally responsible for our own, internal assumptions, we discover ways to curb our assumptions. SPECIFIC APPLICATIONS- RE: The Bible: (Online) If we, in the 21st century, ever hope to break the cycle of Biblical Assumption Making we must realize that the Bible was written in a particular time period, with particular writers (male); with their particular biases, ideas and yes, assumptions! CLOSING VISUAL APPLICATION (My rolling baggage with assumptions inside): I have a visual reminder of what it might look like if/when we make relational assumptions OR come to church with unrealized or unexamined assumptions. You know, probably ALL of us show up at church with some sort of spiritual & relational baggage. Sometimes (if we do quality internal/interior work, we may only show up with a small bag (i.e. like a small make up bag); others of us may show up with slighter larger baggage (i.e. this back pack: while others of us show up with this much larger suitcase on wheels!) Of course, this is a bit funny (I hope)yet humor does NOT erase the truth. You & I both know it. So, if awareness is the 1st step to not making assumptions, then maybe awareness is also the 1st step toward greater spiritual maturity & diversity. I now share a short list of assumptionsto start you thinking on your ownin an attempt to move us all forward as spiritually mature followers of Jesus Christ. I. Relational Assumptions: A. I assume that if someone loves me (or says they love me) they will know what I need or want & how I feel. B. I assume that if someone loves me (or says they love me) they will know what I think. (Yesthe infamous relational mind reading! ) C. Love Scarcity Assumption: There is only a limited amount of love to go around & I must horde love or I wont get my fair share of your love. D. Assumptions cause us to have expectations which often lead to disappointment especially since we dont usually verbalize our expectations. II. Church Assumptions: A. (Assumption #1): Although my church of origin rejected me, mistreated meI assume my new church (i.e. Our Hope MCC) should be like my old church because that church is whats comfortable for me. B. (Assumption #2): My church of origin is the only denomination that got church right (except, of course, for rejecting me because of my sexual orientation)! C. (Assumption #3): A different way of worshipping must be wrong because its not what Im used to D. (Assumption #4): Holding to an old paradigm of how the pastor is supposed to be (& even how thepastors wife should be). So, just for funhow many of you have ever had afemale pastor before coming to Our Hope MCC? Before OHMCC, how many of you have ever had a lesbian pastorbefore? So, why then do you still hold apastorsparadigm from your church of origin for a totally different situation? Now Im not talking about the need for a pastors call to ministry, a pastors commitment to work/serve this faith

3 communityIm talking about the expectations of not only being pastor, but also friend, counselor, parent, etc..individualized care as if you were the only member of OHMCC! Before we move onlet me say that as your pastor I am willing to meet as many of your reasonable expectations as humanly possible as long as theyre in keeping with the overall purpose & ministry of Our Hope MCC. ANDI expect & can only respond to verbal/written requests of what you need. I do not read minds; I am working on not assuming anything so if you need something spiritual from me then I need to know by your words. (Agreement #1): Being Impeccable With Your Words means taking responsibility for your needs & your truthand allowing others to take ownership of themselves & their words! PERSONAL APPLICATION: (Online) A few practical hints/ideas from Ruiz: 1. Find the courage to ask questionsof yourself & of others. Ask people what they think & then LISTEN. 2. Ask people how they want to be treated; ask them how to best express your love for them. Ask people how they want to be appreciated. Also ask them about their passions are. Ask them how they want people to remember them. 3. Make a decision based on todays Gospel reading to not have as your first response, an attitude of judgment, negativity & doubt about others CLOSING ILLUSTRATION: Oh yesabout Sam, Kurt & Quinn. When the entire story came out Quinn was helping Sam with his younger brother & sister by babysitting. Kurt was giving Sam some of his gently worn (fabulous) clothes. For the truth wasSams dad had been laid off from his job; Sams family had lost their new home to foreclosure & they (2 adults & 3 children) were living in a single hotel room. The secrecy that Sam, Quinn & Kurt had may have appeared like something was up; however, the truth was they were merely trying to protect Sams dignity& not have his business all over the high school. We can all understand that, right? When the rest of the Glee Club learned the entire truththey, of course, were sorry & several of them even made amends for their incorrect assumptions! Maybe we could learn something valuable from their mistakes & not repeat them in our real lives! Amen.