I made a career of loving my curves - but being size 18 almost kill...

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I made a career of loving my curves - but being size 18 almost killed me

By Daisy Dumas Last updated at 7:51 PM on 5th August 2011
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By celebrating her overweight frame in all its glory, accepting herself as is and encouraging other women to do the same, she made body confidence her life's work. But when self-esteem expert and author Jess Weiner discovered that the body she so proudly stood up for was slowly killing her, she decided to make some drastic changes. To truly love her body - as she had always encouraged women to do - she had to treat it better. And that meant losing some weight.

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Motivational: Jess Weiner made a career of encouraging women to embrace their bodies as they are. But she realised her body had the potential to kill her

Ms Weiner, 37, has appeared on Oprah, written books, made countless speeches and TV appearances and was, by all accounts, a happy, successful size 18. Writing in Glamour magazine, she describes how her life changed after a wakeup call at the launch of her second book, Life Doesn't Begin Five Pounds From Now. During her talk, a stranger brashly called out from the audience 'How can you honestly tell us you love your body? You are obese.' She was shocked, but the stranger went on: 'What about health? How can you be healthy looking like that?' It was a jolt to the system - after all, writes Ms Weiner: 'My weight hadn't stood in the way of my meeting gorgeous men or succeeding in my career. But I couldn't remember the last time I had been to the doctor.' After suffering from an eating disorder in her teens, she stopped looking at weighing scales - and it had been 16 years since she had weighed herself. 'I realized I had to be honest with myself. I had to answer that woman's question - not for her, but for me. I picked up the phone and made and appointment.'

'These numbers told me that I wasn't just overweight - I was unhealthily overweight. And I was in danger of becoming irreversibly sick'
Ironically, it may be the backlash society's thinness obsession that is driving some women like Ms Weiner to embrace obesity, rather than be wary of its dangers. In what is termed the body acceptance movement - 'I'm heavy, and I'm proud' - women defensively retaliate to those who criticise their perceived laziness. But while 'women should be able to feel confident in their body image' says obesity specialist, David L Katz, from Yale University Prevention Center, 'there's a danger in the "OK at any size" message.' Her own lesson - that life isn't all about body weight - had blurred the reality of ill-health for Ms Weiner, who was forced to ask herself: 'Was I really obese? My body wasn't anyone else's business, but had I done everything I could to make it my business?' Some overweight women find it hard to visit doctors, afraid of stigma, prejudice and shame. Studies have shown that many doctors have less respect for their overweight patients than for thinner ones, says Ms Weiner. But it was her doctor, whom she trusted, who bore the harsh truth. Blood tests showed that she was almost prediabetic, had borderline high bad cholesterol, low good cholesterol, borderline high triglycerides, but, thankfully, a healthy blood pressure.

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Healthier shape: Ms Weiner normalised her blood levels and has lost 25 pounds. She aims to lose a further 30 pounds to avoid the worrying threat of diabetes

'These numbers told me that I wasn't just overweight - I was unhealthily overweight. I wasn't processing insulin properly. My arteries were quickly overclogging. And I was in danger of becoming irreversibly sick.' It was time for Ms Weiner to re-assess her values. 'It didn't matter in that moment, sitting half dressed in a paper gown, how many books I had written or speeches I had given about loving your body and accepting yourself as you are. 'The cold, hard truth was that accepting myself as I was was putting my life in danger. But could I really call a public time-out and say "I'm going to focus on losing some weight now"? 'I knew dropping pounds or even talking about a diet could be career suicide for me.' She questioned her motivations - was society's quest for 'perfect' causing her change of heart? - but in the end, the numbers spoke for themselves. She didn't want to live a lifestyle that could end up killing her.

'Health matters, and paying attention to markers like your cholesterol, blood pressure, and yes, your weight, doesn't mean you're giving in to some societal ideal'
She sought the help of a nutritionist, joined a gym with group work outs and visited a therapist. Food had been an emotional crutch. After 18 months, she had normal blood sugar levels, normal bad cholesterol, normal good cholesterol, normal triglycerides and a 'superhealthy' blood pressure. But her weight had dropped by only 25 pounds. She was disappointed with the seemingly low payback for her months of hard work and the strict regimen. 'I was a little pissed off,' she writes. It was her ob-gyn, Dr Verma, who set her straight: '"Jess, you're focusing on the wrong number. Health is more than just your weight."' She understands that she will never be skinny. The point is, says Ms Weiner, she would never have lowered her dangerous blood levels had she not confronted her weight. Her fans - the very essence of her career - have been more supportive than she ever expected. Ms Weiner aims to lose another 30 pounds, taking her weight from 250 pounds to 195.

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'Many of them admitted that they too wanted to lose weight to improve their health but had, like me, felt trapped by the stigma that confident, heavy women weren't supposed to think about weight at all. Like me, they felt liberated by the idea that it wouldn't betray their ideals to value their physical health.' Though Ms Weiner still embraces the belief that women don't have to look skinny to be confident, her message has changed. 'Health matters, and paying attention to markers like your cholesterol, blood pressure, and yes, your weight, doesn't mean you're giving in to some societal ideal. 'It means that you're listening to your body on the inside, which is a crucial part of loving yourself completely.'

Comments (34)
Newest Oldest Best rated Worst rated View all Who? - PC99, UK, 06/8/2011 14:30 Click to rate Report abuse Makes me wonder what type of clothes you can wear at that weight. Very little would make you look good and feel good about yourself. Congratulations on her losing weight but she is still far too fat to be healthy. - Betelgeuse, London UK, 06/8/2011 13:18 Click to rate Report abuse Curves! She made herself so fat it effected her health. Thats ok... her problem But encouraging others to follow her path to ill health is unforgivable - Richard6, Bolton, 06/8/2011 13:01 Click to rate Report abuse why does everyone have to be so smug and nasty? - Ruthie, West Country, 06/8/2011 12:17 Click to rate Report abuse Does she mean US size 18 or UK size 18 because i am 206lbs and a size 18?? - yes i no i am very overweight but am doing something about it. Anyway 2 mains things in life are happiness and health and they usually stem from eachother so good for her for being on the right path but 25 in 18months is like 1.5lb a month, if exercising n eating healthy you could be losing that weekly. - charlotte, uk, 06/8/2011 12:14 Click to rate Rating 14 Rating 80 Rating 12 Rating 33 Rating (0)

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Report abuse What a shame. Such a beautiful woman. Can't believe she abused her body for so long. - Achilles, Scotland, 06/8/2011 12:08 Click to rate Report abuse The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline. Rating 6

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