You are on page 1of 29

Preface This is a group of journal entries I made from 2003 to 2011, so that I could vent my frustration with the

woman I married, mainly during her period. Now you might be thinking thats unfair, all women have that and its nothing so unusual and very uncomfortable for the woman. Yes, well, this woman, when I met her had her vagina packed with post surgical gauze. I was to find out later that she had surgery on her cervix due to cancer. This cancer, I was to find out even later, was due to her ex-husbands giving her genital warts, which then turned into cancerous lesions. This in turn caused her to have a serious hormonal imbalance that would play out in nearly a full week of PMS. There would be a little relief at the beginning of her period, then she would experience post menstrual syndrome as well. This woman would later find her biological parents and it would be revealed that her father was a heroin addict at the time of conception, and her mother, 17 at the time, would go on to have 2 other daughters and give them up as well. There was a biker bar stabbing incident in there as well which almost cost her mother her life. Her father died of alcoholic liver disease. Julie (her adoptive name) was adopted by 2 Jews. I think hence her name, but theyd argue. She was to enter a family whose 2 biological sons would eventually die of muscular dystrophy-she was their replacement. They both eventually died of respiratory failure, so she eventually became a respiratory therapist. Along the way she would encounter substance abuse at around age 13-15, get sober in a program, get raped while hitch-hiking from the beach, and then after marrying twice before, meet me, an alcoholic-addict. She invited me out to a Halloween party shortly after we met at work, took me to her friends house-a double wide trailer where she left me alone with a retarded Asian girl she promptly became jealous of. I was to later find out these were two of her old meth-friends. Within a couple of months she was evicted from her apartment so I let her move in my apartment with her daughter from a previous marriage, already 3. We partied like it was 1999, although it was only 1995. I awoke one morning, Im pretty sure on the floor, to her holding a pregnancy test over me saying Arent you happy!!!? I went along with it. She had a miscarriage, then we had our first son. We had the second about 2 years later and except for the pregnancies we pretty much drank the whole way through. I got addicted to and then busted for using Demerol (synthetic opium) on the job, and from the job, and subsequently lost my lucrative career and had to deal with a criminal record to boot, making it next to impossible to get another job. So here I am with 2 kids by a drug addict-alcoholic that I cant stand but am trying to get along with because Ill be damned if Ill 1) leave my own kids and 2)leave

them with this crazy broad who eventually, after telling me to butt-out, would let her daughter end up on the streets. My entire journey was from about October 1995 to present, August 2011. She has recently gone to her father for help with an attorney, so she can kick me out of the family home weve shared for the last 8 years, so she can continue using drugs and alcohol. She refuses to admit she has a problem. She told me, and I have it on tape, that if I want someone sober that I have to go find someone else. My decision to get sober was solely based on the need to take care of the children. Of course I need to take care of myself as well, but thats how my sobriety started. It wasnt because I got busted. I was going to write a book one day, based on my experiences, but Im afraid my time is coming to an end one way or another, and I might also be told I cant say or write anything about her by her lawyer. So here Ill prematurely make this journal public. Please email thetonyd7@live.com if you have any questions about the finished product, which I believe I am going to incorporate into a book that is also as many years in the making titled The Hill, describing my adventures where I grew up, partied, and watched may family die in Palos Verdes, California. I didnt do much editing, and I took out the last names. Most of the entries were made on the fly while I only had a few minutes to write before Julie came by. Im now looking at a dent in the wall behind my desk where she smashed my last computer monitor. Mind you I have never raised a hand to this woman, mine is a classic case of addiction and co-dependency. All the gory details skimmed over here, will be in the book.

Today is May 9th


Today is May 9th, 2003. Im starting a journal. Why not? What day would have been better? Its 12:55PM and Julie is with Jake. Shell be taking him to McDonalds later-we figured hed be disappointed after they canceled play-in-thewater day today. Julies parents are here for mothers day and theyre down stairs playing with Joel. Joel is playing with the water-I set it on mist so he wont waste the water-Ive been watering it by hand to save the water so hes effectively helping out. Well, last night was a bad night. As a matter of fact the whole day was really bad. After Julie grounded me from my job search again so she could take our only car without planning, I happened across a web sight that has left me feeling like, well, I need to start a journal and finish my book. Not that anything matters any more, but lets face it; you cant go on with your life if you

really think that tomorrow youll be gone; especially with children. But things have changed. Julie is just too different to communicate with. Its been a decade and Im just finally coming to the understanding that I have to live life as best I can because she never will. Shes a walking stiff. I feel sorry for her; shes missing out on so much. The only thing that really matters to her is her respiratory career and she doesnt even know why. I do. But the God factor doesnt allow her to hear me. Its like living out a bad movie or nightmare where no matter what you do or say, nobody can hear or see you. My big irony is that the only thing that really ever mattered to her in my lifes forum is money, and I dont have any. This family has put up with me through thick & thin and let me tell you, talk about born to fail, Ive never felt like a bigger fuck-up than myself. All I need is a decent income to fit in really well with my family but it seems that no matter what I do, I cant get a job. Ill never give up, though. And I know that Ill eventually succeed. The day I get the best job ever, or get my higher degree, Ill be told I have terminal cancer. Its a family tradition of failure. Anyway, the other day I thought of wringing Julies neck and at the instant I thought, God, I really care about this woman. I was thinking of how sad I would be if anything ever happened to her. I actually started crying in the car while I was thinking this. This poor girl has never seen any happiness. All the other men in her life have been complete jerks or dead. I really never thought of myself as a jerk but since I met her, I feel like I have been a complete asshole. As angry as I have been with her, I want for nothing but her happiness. If I lived out the rest of my life only to make her and the kids happy it would be worth it. Lets face it, who remembers the person who designed the world trade centers (less the fire proofing)-I mean, I could do something great like that but its what people do for people that theyre remembered for? So Im sitting here wishing I could buy a house, give it to Julie and the kids along with a hefty bank account & some credit cards so Julie could shop till she drops-present her with a huge diamond just because shes earned it-but, I cant even get a job at Dennys. (They were going to hire me for management) Thats the real bitch of it, I know Im smart, and I can do many things masterfully. But how do I get a chance? Theres such a difference between taking and giving a chance. I want a chance (to do a good job for a good wage) but I cant just go out and get it. See, that would be taking a chance. I have to have someone give it to me. How do you make someone give you a chance? You cant. You have to ask for it & they have to want to give it to you. Right now the response Im getting is: Sorry, we cant take that chance. Im really fed-up. Another surreal eveningits 5/12/03 @ 9:47 P.M. Julies been on the phone for over an hour & talking about the hospital. Shes been talking about the hospital since she left it at about 6:30 p.m. Sometimes I think that one day shell be killed in a head-on collision with a truck carrying books to respiratory therapy school. Geritol pales in irony comparison. Mr. & Mrs. B left today after Mr. B. nearly had a stroke putting Joels basketball hoop together. All that & he made it a foot lower than his old hoopHell start at this level & progress to a higher level. When he left, I had to raise the hoop over a foot. The re-assembly took

me less than 2 minutes. The assembly took over an hour. I think Mia is repeating 5th grade. Tonight she decided to just skip homework all together. Its now 10 p.m. and shes in our room singing: Its getting hot in here Should I bother? Today is August 12th. I feel like fucking killing myself. Every month, the same thing: Youre a terrible father and human-being. Go live somewhere else and get your shit together. Your never gonna work and on & on it goes. Then it comes to a day I get to go out & find money, she sits on her ass while I watch the kids. Then if I take the car aggressively she threatens to call the police or says: Im not gonna be stranded here on my day off or Its not fair that the whole family has to suffer just cause you wanna gallivant around Las Vegas! Today is August 20th, 03. So she says: Im telling you plug in that phone so I can make my phone call! I asked her who shes calling (since the rest of us use the phones that are currently plugged in but hard wired as Mia is about to get her own phone in her room and were teaching phone etiquette by having the hard wired phone) and she says who am I calling? None of your god damn business! And why arent you watching the kids while Im on the phone? (She talks for hours in the evening to her friends in California while smoking & drinking, outside, away from the kids. I ask her to watch the kids during the day when I call businesses and make Doctor appointments because I cant hear sometimes. I guess the parallel shes drawing is a little uneven) now plug in the phone like I said! We havent fought since the last time her parents were here and this yelling and screaming started as soon as she got off the phone with her father who is on the way here today. Every month, as well, about this timetoward the end of the month-she asks me to leave. She did it again this A.M. adding something about my little blue cabinets. As shes threatening to tell her parents that painting the cabinets was all my idea and she doesnt like them painted that color. She agrees to everything that happens around here then when she gets frustrated, she claims she had no part in the decision making. Considering her transient mental status, shes actually partially right. Today is September 3rd, when Julie found out I was getting an inheritance she said goodtake your money and find a place to go. Today, since we ran out of pot, and after she told me since I was running a 105 deg. temp. shed take the kids to school today (for every 50 times I take the kids to school, shell take them once, if Im along to drive) but instead she told me to go find a job. Despite that Im still sick, vomiting (red), diarrhea (black). A day or two before I really got sick, she kept trying to get me to have sex, but I kept telling her somethings not rightI didnt feel right. What a miserable night it was last nightthe headache wouldnt go away. So today when she first got up, she checked the checking account balance and found it -63.00$ then threatened: And Im not taking any extra shifts to bail us out of this situation, either! I dont have the heart to remind her it was her poor choices that got us into this mess. 7 payday loans! So, as of this Friday we either lose the car or the electricity. I cant wait for the nutto response I get to

that! So now its 11:03 pm and shes drunk. She just told me go marry our friends wife & is angry again. She showed up at his house---OK Today is September 20th. She just did it again; told me to leave with the money ( went on her period yesterday and is out of tampons) is extremely angry the yesterday we got gas, groceries and bought cheap presents for the Sunday double-birthday party. ($50). What do I say? Shes wrong about everything she asserts-is angry with everyone! Now is yelling at Mia who just got upone of these days, someones gonna off her on her period. She tells about times she talks to Doctors almost as rude & doesnt even know shes doing it! Theyre gonna fire her and she doesnt even know it. She went to bed looking angry, fat, unhealthy smell like cigs & beer-pathetic! She calls me names but cant see herself for the fog shes created! Today is Sept 21st. I get a call from Julie at work saying I didnt do her clothes right and shes walking around with detergent stains on her. Then she hangs up on me. Then I take Mia to her birthday party and am welcomed home by Coulton. I decide to let him in and the usual shit ensues. He has the audacity to jump on my bed next to me and start popping his knuckles while Im playing PS1 in my room and then takes my game out to go downstairs with it-no comprehension of boundaries whatsoever. Now that hes gone, Jake is whining and crying that he has to play with someone and I cant take it anymore. If Julie doesnt start growing up and acting like an adult and helping with the children Im gonna snap! God, help me, please. Julie was once told by her father, Barry, that she was a piece of shit-which I think she resented greatly. This morning she said about a husband of a RT Once a piece of shit, always a piece of shit! to Darlene, her fat psycho friend. Today is December 30th, its 6:34 AM, I just dropped Julie off @ work and today and yesterday are the first days in a long time that she has said shit to me. Her new medicine seems to work to a point. Yesterday she told me about how bad of a person I was in general cause she couldnt find her green scrub pants which I had washed, folded and hung and were the 3rd item on the rack in the closet. She later apologized-but still, here we go again, Then this morning, she tells about what I do all day & how all I do is hurt the kids & yell at em all day cause she cant find her black jacket (frankly, she doesnt even have a jacket & if she did it would be tattered. She has this light fleece thing like her moms-not at all suitable for really cold weather). So I offer her mine (even though it would probably be stolen from her dept.) & she flatly refuses without reason stating I cant wear that! So we tear up the house looking for it despite the sleeping children (that were up all night on the premise that they could sleep in, as its a holiday & Jake had a sleep-over) & she wakes up Mia. Now its not even light out and Mias up in the backyard playing in the snow-and digging through the cabinets making noise. I cant win with these 2 women. Oh yeah, it snowed. Oh yeah, her whole dept. at work thinks shes a bitch, except for the guys that

probably want to fuck her. They probably think shes a bitch too, but that doesnt stop em. Today is October 1st, 2004. Julie started in again today after taking Mia to school. She started yelling at Jake to finish his homework. This after she woke me unnecessarily several times earlier by walking in the guest room I was sleeping in and sitting on the bed starting unnecessary conversation instead of doing what I usually do; getting things ready for the day. I fell back asleep for a few minutes & she was in again putting her finger up my shorts. She didnt say anything, just left. I fell back asleep for a few minutes and she was back in and put her finger in the crack of my ass. She still has nothing to say. I think shes doing this so Ill get up, take care of the kids, clean the house, etc. while she watches Oprah. Which eventually, after upsetting Jake she did. Later this AM I cleaned our room, & was about to haul a bunch of junk when she turned on me. She was angry cause she offered to take a shower with Joel, then did a U-turn & went downstairs to call the bank, got frustrated when she couldnt figure out how to call the bank & ask for them to re-link her card to her checking account and said Fuck it! You all can do without my money! You can go get a job, or sell that pile of rocks & get your own (inaudible). Mia is on her period so I figure Julie is about to start or has started her 1 week PMS period. It makes me want to kill myself. Today is October 6th, its Jakes birthday! Julie started her period yesterday. I wanted to note that cause I need to know when shes gonna start this shit again. After 10 years of it youd think Id plan my days better. Today is October 26th. Julie started her period about 4 days agoI forgot to mention. God is she Satanic when she is PMS-ing . Here now, is an insert from a file called Julie, its time to talk, written on February 8th, 2005. It is not complete, and I dont intend to complete it but the message is still generally the same as this. Like trying to communicate with someone in a coma: Julie Respiratory Therapy Department St. #@$% Hospital *&^%$# Campus Dear Julie, I know youre wondering why I sent this to you at work. Well, simple really; you pretty much take-off immediately if on the phone at work and you get paged and you dont really take me seriously at home. But these subjects are important to me. 2-8-05

I think these subjects need to be addressed. Its gone on too long now. First, theres the subject of Mia & school. Ive been scratching my head on this for some time. Every morning I get up to drive her to school. You and she agree that she is going to repeat 7th grade. She is allowed enough freedom to do so, so why cant she walk to school? She is not doing anything except showing up for class (even on the weekends with Mrs. Angelcourt) in all except for P.E. I really think she should have some accountability. Of course on days that its raining etc., I would be glad to take her, at least then I am serving a purpose. Mia again today came home, went on her computer, took a nap, and now at 4:30 is back on the computer. I cleaned her room again today and noticed she is collecting garbage-not trash-again in a drawer. She wont do her laundry, any kind of chore, clean up after herself-even in the bathroom she is supposed to be sharing with Jake and Joel. The mess she refuses to clean up in that bathroom is a violation of Jake and Joels space, and its being ignored like everything else about her. Second, Jake and Joel are old enough to sleep in their own beds. Im never going to assert that I know how to accomplish this transition and you do not. Simply that I feel that you are allowing it and I do not approve of it. Jake is 7 and Joel is 5 now. 7 and 5. That is too old to be in the parents bed, except for stormy nights! Next, is the subject of CAYG. Years ago I went frequently to the local Farrells Ice Cream Parlor-I loved the Pig Troughs and the banana splits and especially their hot fudge! I spent a lot of time eating ice cream and staring at that silly sign they had; CAYG (Clean As You Go). Its a motto I adopted and internalized years ago and it makes things a lot easier around the house, especially with 3 messy kids! The trouble is, they are not the biggest violators of that motto-you are! I know, I knowI work hard for 12 hours and I cant Thats just BS. Were talkin socks in the kitchen, bra hanging where the towels go, beer caps on the floor, butts where the kids play, dishes in on and around the bed, clothes everywhere, drawers always open. The list goes on and on. Thats not even the worst part of the mess situation. The worst part is that you get very upset if the house isnt clean. The solution is the easy part in my opinion; a little consideration. For me, for the people who spend the most time in the house, like Joel, who patiently waits for me to finish cleaning each day before I can play with him, Jake and Mia who are learning our habits, and most of all for you. You will eventually have to come back to that spot you just trashed and you may not like what you see. So next time a beer gets popped open, toss the cap in the trash instead of on the counter. Finish that meal at the table & not in bed, or at least grab a handful of your own dishes on your way

downstairs. As you yourself have said, (CAYG) Keep on top of it. This frees me up to do/finish home improvements, take Joel out-whatever! The next subject is a tough one. Lady. I want you to take yourself outside of this situation for a moment. Pretend it is one of your co-workers whose spouse brought home a similar animal. Older, abused, no history, poor health, poor eating habits, will defecate indoors, the people who did not bring the animal home spend the most time with it and asserted to take the most care of it, some of the others in the house are complaining and their words are falling on deaf ears Lady is a sweet dog and I do feel sorry for her, but its been how many days to this point that this dog has come to us without a history and its been sleeping in our bed. This dog not only requires a personal chef, it wipes its ass on our living room carpet by dragging itself with its front paws while sticking its rear legs up in the air, it pees on the carpet, burrows under our pillows and blankets, barks at all our guests, begs during the entire meal during all meals purchased out, chews, sneezes & snorts all night, that list goes on too. The other day I suggested that the kids go play Frisbee with it and Jake pointed out that the Frisbee might kill the dog! The only thing you can do is pet it and then its so nervous that it takes all the fun out of it and makes the event rather stressful! What do we do with this dog? I dont know. If she were from anywhere else, she could have been returned without question. I agree that other animals at other ages present their own unique problems. Thats not the subject. This dog, Lady, here and now, needs to be addressed. (Weve had the shampoo for several days and at this point you still havent bathed her!) 4/26/05 Well, that was an unfinished letter from almost 3 months ago. Its obvious nothing has changed except that Mia has nothing in her room but a rancid smell and clothes all over the floor and her grades are worse. 6/01/05 It sure is interesting how things progress. Now we have Carmie, 3 pools amidst a possible outbreak of mushy brain syndrome, a yard full of dog shit and the place smells lovely-not to mention the flies. OK, we need a dog(?) She is pretty well behaved. But although recently I agreed to pick up the dog shit, I wont be stuck with chore. Speaking of chores; you just got more chore charts and no-one is doing any chores but me. All I ask is that people have a little responsibility. Clean up your own messes. Dropping and hanging clothes anywhere is annoying. There are 4 clothes hampers in this house and clothes are left everywhere. Dishes are unrinsed. The kids bathroom is a perpetual mess due to 1 person. The master bath is a perpetual mess due to 1 adult and the boys constantly

missing the toilet. It is sad that Mia will miss a whole year of school advancement but Im not allowed to discipline her-for simple example: when I leave the house she is allowed to do things that when Im home she is not allowed. This sends a mixed message to her and if nothing changes in structure at home I dont see hoe she will succeed in her second round of 7th grade. The Doctors all agreed she needs structural support from both parents and to take her medicine and not be allowed ANY privileges without passing grades and showing her work. If you feel this situation is an embarrassment now, just wait til she flunks 7th grade again! How could we justify that to anyone? Anyway, when I go to work, am I supposed to come home and be the only one who cleans up? NO-ONE does their own laundry. You complain when I dont do the dishes. YOU adopted that dog and now you want ME to pick up dog shit (that has polluted that back yard). You sound like your father when you say I work all day, do you expect me to come home and clean? Yet you threatened to call the cops on me many times and to make me move to an apartment, etc. So what do you think you would be doing if I did leave or die? Do you really think the transition to a 4th husband would be quick and easy? How long do you think it would be before you had someone take the place of your Mr. Nanny? Youll get quite a few one night stands & boyfriends, Im sure. But wouldnt the right thing be better? Put the kids in their bedroom, make Mia do her work and chores, I workyou work, and we work on our relationship because if you havent seen that Im devoted to you and the family by now youre just in denial. We have a lot going for us as long as you mother can keep her big mouth shut because we started at the end by having kids too quick and things are looking bright for the future. You never thought youd be in NICU and look what youve accomplished, and you know Ive always told you it could happen if you applied yourself-OK so it happened a little slowly but that was only because you have been so full of self-doubt. Replacing I cant with I can has been your own personal self directed point of contention since I met you. You dont have yourself to blame, though. Your mother has been your female role model and though she is a good hearted person, she has engrained in you the spirit of I cant. Your dad wasnt any helped in that area either. Your mother has said a lot of things about me but Id like to see her finish nursing school. Its easy to sit back and criticize others when youre in the top 1%. Ive spent many years working at the same things; my accomplishments are many, not material. But some tend to be blinded to that when all they look at is the negative.

Today is March 30th, 2005. I just came back from the Clark County District office of Compliance and Monitoring re: Mias 504 plan and when talking to Julie about Mias progress she stated I think shes doing betterShe told me yesterday that she did her work and she had these 10 things to do and da da this and da da that. What is da da this & da da that? This little shit has been lying about doing her homework since the 5th grade! Its Julie that has allowed this to go on this long! What kind of parent allows 6 concerts during failing grades? What kind of parent takes all a kids belongings out of her room then the very next day allows a friend over, then a sleep-over, a movie, full access to any TV in the house, as well as the computers in other areas after losing the computer in her room? She lost everything but the mattress and clothes about 3 weeks ago, and since day one, shes been allowed full run of the house! No requirement to do homeworkNOTHING! Julies input into Mias education process has been virtually NILL! Today is July 4th, 2005. Over the last couple of days Julie has been quite interesting. She recently adopted (for $300) another broken dog-Carmie. The very first day this dog bit Joel trying to get his food from his hand-and she did. That was the middle of May. The day before yesterday she did it again, biting him on the elbow this time and he cried for quite a while as she also got his food again. Julie told me if I did anything to, or got rid of the dog that I would go to jail. I had to D/C that last string cause she was coming in the room. Today is July 14, 2005. Two days ago she launched her monthly attack. Last Sunday she started doing work for the union and leaving me without the car. She takes the car to the union hall, parks it, and take-off with another rep. to do her work citing: When I get back from the field I can jump in the car and go right home. (All the while shes been showing up at home around 4pm, and Jake gets out at 3:15.) So in essence, she takes the car, parks it for the day essentially grounding the family and I have to pick up Jake from school on our bikes dragging Joel-5-along in 110 degree weather and despite reporting to her that the other day (Tuesday) Joel fell off his bike due to heat exhausting on the way back from getting Jake from school. Well today is not May 9th, but its 8-11-05 and a couple of days ago she definitely freaked-out. She decided to take Joel to the movies despite my plan to go to Imperial Palace for an interview then proceeded to tell me to get out & shed get a maid, etc. This lasted about 72 hours despite all the weed she smoked that had been doing so well keeping her mood level. She still has not tried to re-start her Lexapro, Deseryl, or Ativan but takes my Xanax (Which I went without for a while because she causes it to run out so quickly), she also continues to wear all my clothes & permanently stain them with either her period stains or makeup and food. Its driving me insane. Im seeing a female therapist now, just to deal with the fact that Im living with a college frat roommate vs. a female. She has

destroyed our car with garbage, smokes with the kids in the car, me in the car every morning on the way to work. Did I mention her Psychiatrist wouldnt put me on meds but gave her 3? Did I mention that she had a $2000 paycheck this last week and after I told her $600 of that needed to go to bills she spent over $1000 of it on shit I cant even account for? Then she freaks out and accuses me of stealing $200! We had to go to charities for food. Today while I was out getting food from charities she ordered $50 worth of Chinese food to be delivered! Today is 8-14-05. She asked me if I had enough money in my mini-checking acct. to get tampons. After calling the bank they told me that I was over-drawn $22 because in the state of Nevada its $5 per day for each day your account is overdrawn. Once again, Im fucked. Today is September 5th, 2005. She came home Saturday AM at about 5. Shes grouchy, inappropriate again. I think its time. Today is September 13th, she went on her period-by admission-two days ago. Shes been lying in bed for the last week-stoned, this morning she could not find her blue scrub bottoms & was agitated. Then she got mad that her shoes were moved from the front door to the shoe basket Do you know what kind of things youre exposing everyone to when you put these in with the other shoes?! she says. They were being constantly touched by all our kids and the visitors as well when sitting by the front door where she left them. She also thought they were in the garage, which they were not. I also reminded her of universal precautions and isolation wear. Which means you dont spread infection-even with your shoes. There are shoe covers. She says Dont be an idiot! She came home to a really clean house, I fixed dinner for everyone including a guest, she goes to bed around 8 something after getting stoned & refuses dinner. She also smoked 3 cigarettes at work yesterday after quitting for almost 2 weeks. The other day she mentioned she was going to have to take a day off to go to union bargaining again (previously a financial disaster for the whole family) so I asked if there were options & she says I could go to the meeting at 8PM so I said that would be good! This morning she says Dont forget Im going to that meeting at 8PMI dont want you saying that you didnt know Our lovely ride to her work ended by her opening the door before the car stopped-not the first time shes done thisand she darn well could have gotten hurt. No goodbye, she just storms-off pissed. Once again. The best part of all of this is that this follows a really bad dream I just had; we had a new apartment together, no kids around(?), I was away for the day and I come home to find that she has adopted 3 full grown cats, a dog, has completely trashed the place, and to make matters even scarier she has purchased 6 large bricks of marijuana and placed them in a closet that is exclusively mine. When I asked her how she paid for all this she admits to having taken out another payday loan! Oh, it gets worse. She flips open a badge wallet and admits to cheating with a cop. There was a picture of him in the wallet-he was a white, trailer trash hick.

Today is September 30th. Yesterday Julie started complaining about everything. I became annoying. Today is much worse, but she seems to be somewhat aware of what shes doing. She ran out of pot a couple of days ago and without her medicine, it makes it a little worse. While getting the boys ready for school this morning I checked Mias computer and found that she was investigating Meth. After the boys went to school, I was blamed for their tangling the game stations wires. I left to pick up her check and when I got back I told her to look on Mias computer. She said Oh, shes just checking it out. Then she told me that two days ago, when she went through Mias friends backpack (Alex) that along with the pack of cigarettes, which she had already told me about, she found a small piece of paper folded into a triangle (bindle) and she didnt want to open it because she was afraid she was not going to be able to re-fold it. (Why didnt she tell me about this at the time?) I told her she needs to stop being in denial. Today is October 28th. The last couple of weeks have been horrendous! Mia was caught by me having a couple of bottles of booze in her friend Alexs backpack. I told Julie at 11pm the night I found em, Julie says Well, I guess shes going away. The next morning, her parents and I are having a pleasant morning enjoying our coffee and watching a dumb movie when Julie gets up, sits down next to me and starts in. Before 3 minutes has passed, shes screaming (she was out til 4am that night, while I stayed home and watched the kids) and wants Mia to come downstairs. She demands that Mia go up and have Alex bring her backpack down so she can inspect it. 5+ minutes later Mia comes down with an empty backpack. I go up and find an empty Black Velvet Whiskey bottle. Mia claims that my friend Chris gave it to her and that it was my whiskey. An extremely anxiety provoking fight ensues. She tells me to leave-again. The rest of the family goes bowling leaving Julie and I to talk. I find a second bottle in Mias trash-buried. It had a little wine in it; it was a used rum bottle. Later when they all come home, Mia simply claims it wasnt hers and Julie believes her. That was last Sunday. Today is Friday. As of today, Mia has 3 Fs and 3 Ds, along with 44 missing assignments. What does Julie do? She takes her to the mall. Mia requested pants, shoes, and a sweatshirt. If history is any indicator, this will total nearly $200. I want to fucking scream. Today is January 31st, 2006. Julie just got off her period. She was OK until this morning. Last night I asked her at about 8:30 when she was in bed, if she had a matching pair of scrubs and she shook her head yes. This morning she began with I dont know what the fuck you do all day but you cant do even a simple thing like the laundry? I should replace you and besides, youre ugly! Then later I go to drop Mia off for school and the garage smells like pot as does Mia-7:30 in the morning! Today is February 18th, 2006. Julie started in on me about a day & a half ago. Our anniversary came and went without cards, gifts, or anything. We did have a

nice dinner, but were too full to eat the $65 in crab we bought. So the other night her friend Lori F. decided to sit and tell me about her relationship issues pertaining to her gay/lesbian affairs with other couples. I was suddenly very uncomfortable with them being here. I asked Julie if they had asked her to bed with them on one of their several nights they stayed up until 4:30 or 5am at their apt. but she denied they asked. Though she admitted they told her about these multi-partner affairs. Last night they stopped by while I was out and dropped their dog off while they went car shopping. The fucking thing was shaking, following me around, was underfoot constantly in the kitchenFUCK!!! So Julie, yesterday, said that Dr. Phil told her that our relationship was over because we allowed the kids into our bed and I sleep on the couch. As I see it, she allows the kids to sleep in the bed and Im supposed to move them to their bed each night or I sleep on the couch, or another bedroom. FUCK!!! How much more of this can I take? Well, fuck her anyway. Im stronger than she thinks, and Im not leaving my kids with her. Her daughter just got expelled from school after she told me to butt-out of her life as I am not her father. Now Julie has to go to court as I took myself off Mias papers at school when she told me to butt-out cause I saw this coming. She has been an absentee parent for many years. Now I have to step in or Mia is done for. Today is February 26th, Julie just finished her period a day or two ago. Last night, Mia went for a sleep-over. Where? Who knows, because Julie took it upon herself to verify where she was going and with whom. Oh yeah, the other night she climbed on top of me on the couch. It had been a long time. Last night her friends were supposed to come over again-the fourth time they flaked on coming over for dinner. Then they left their kid, Xanthia here and were about to ignore her for a second night when I noticed she was crying. She said she was sad because her mother always promises to spend time with her and then she falls asleep. As well she promises the child shell quit smoking yet her and her boyfriend continue to subject the child to second-hand smoke in their small apartment. She went on about having no friends, etc. Then she complimented us on being good parents for at least smoking in the garage and taking the kids to the park & stuff. To add insult to injury these low-life scumbags left their dog here. They obviously treat the dog and the child the same. I had her call home, where her mother was sleeping and Fernie was watching boxing, and although they live 5 minutes away, Fernie made it here in an astounding 45 minutes! Anyway, Mia will be spending 9 weeks in a jail-like school. Then if she does not get into any trouble, she may be re-placed somewhere in a regular school, but probably not Schofield-her previous school. Is it any wonder that I need this forum to vent? Today is March 25th. Julie went on her period about a week ago. Today is May 27th. Regarding the note above, the previous week was fucking disaster as she was at her worst behavior. At this point, she is still claiming that Alisha W. is pregnant with my baby, (probably since Julie and I have had sex

once in over a year). As well, in the last couple of days she has claimed I am just not working out, this after she gave me a lovely kiss goodbye as I was taking the kids to the skate park. When I returned, I found that she had tried to move our 65 TV and all the surround-sound speaker system back to the original spot it was in when we got it, and had removed the bass speaker from behind the TV so it was visible, shed disconnected all the speakers by accident, the TIVO, the main breaker bar plug was dislodged, and she was unable to replace the cover to the front panel. She was quiet and on the couch, had drank all but the last beerwhich I gave her-and smoked all the cigarettes. I gave her the report from the skate park venture as I was making the boys their dinner. As I was taking the two plates of chicken, potatoes and vegetables to the boys, she say Did you want to go to Taco Bell and get some tacos? Later, Mia (since she now has no internet access) went to her friend Alexs so she could update her MySpace account, which she uses to contact other sluts in the community to get together and use drugs, drink, etc. I had discontinued the net service so she would no longer be able to do that but Julie lets her go where she wants (that night she spent the night at Alexs) then brought her back here about 2 or 3 in the afternoon. They both looked stoned, and after I told her on the phone that Alex could come here, but there was not enough food to feed extra people, the first thing she did was hit the kitchen with Alex-this was 2 or 3 in the afternoon! Anyway, today we sit semi-hungry and very behind on bills. Why? Because Julie has not been going to work. A few days ago she gave the last of our cash to her meth- addicted friend Lori F.. Again, why? Because her meth-addicted boyfriend was being asked to leave and was becoming violent and was asking for money that he believed someone owed him. That was $80, the Julie gave Lori another $100 or so, so that her daughter could make her class trip to Catalina Island-while our children have to visit charitable organizations to be able to have enough food to eat! This week, we will lose our house phone and our cell phone due to non-payment. OK, just a few minutes ago, Julie called from work and said shes gonna have twin 33 weekers at 5:30 so shell call when shes ready, then she says Ok babe, Ill talk to you later. Yesterday I pawned my surround sound system for groceries, today???? Today is April 25th, 2006. Julie has been off her period for about 5 days now. It wasnt that bad during the period, but on the 22nd it was a living hell-again. The 22nd was a Saturday, that Friday night Julie had been out until past 11pm with Lori F. again (the meth user). Julie said she was at the convention center bargaining the whole time but when confronted on her appearance the next morning she admitted to having a couple of Mike & Ikes. Now, for those of us who speak the language, Mike & Ikes are candies-the fruit version of Good & Plentys. Of course she meant Mikes Hard Lemonade or some other version and by couple she probably meant four or six. Regardless, she was irritable since she woke up. We received our child support check and after gas, beer and her brand cigarettes there was $100 left. I made a list for the store as we were completely out of food and I went upstairs for something & when I came down Julie had decided we were going to go to the lake and had told all the kids; mind

you we have to make this $100 last 6 days with no food reserve and less than a half tank of gas. OK, it took about $15 in gas $5 for park entry, about $7 for popcorn and we had a pitcher of beer for $8. Heres the kicker; we never made it to the store. Instead, against my advice we went to Taco Bell for Mia & Julie and we went to McDonalds for the boys for a total of about $20. But the fun doesnt stop there. On the way back, Jake decided to cuss me out at a light and I put the car in park, opened the back door and reached in to smack his face & smacked him on the top of the head instead. Julie-after more than a six pack at home and half a pitcher of beer at the lake decided to take the keys, demand I get out, then threw the keys at me and started to walk into the hospital we were at where she was convinced Lori F. was working at the time. She later apologized & said it was cause she was drunk. Today is August 3rd, 2006. Julie just called me an alarmist and a drama queen. This on the heels of my just putting two pictures together and matching them. The pictures being of gang hand signs; one from a website called knowgangs.com and the other from Mias girlfriends camera of a MexicanAmerican Mia was on a bus with flashing a hand sign which appeared to be the Black gangster disciples or Gangster disciples. Mia just came home after being gone for 2 days sleeping ??? where but Julie just will not believe that she is fucking, sucking, snorting, drinking, popping pills and now, of all fucking things, joining a gang. Julie found Mia at 4am about a month ago totally tweeked-out & grounded her for a month. 3 weeks later shes out again and still, Im not allowed to do anything. She is in bed again right now-its 5:30pm and she and her friend Samantha had finished a 6 pack by the time we went to see Jakes play at 2:30pm-she stunk like cigarettes and booze! Heres a response to an email I sent her re: her phone call & hang up earlier in the dayI had to email as she ran all of our minutes-3000-out on the phone:
big deal get over it and get a life,poor you if your so unhappy and mistreated then you know what you can do ,grand theft auto is not appropriate for a 6 and 8 year old.and by the way WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY ? ,drink smoke watch jeopardy,pick up the kids then have the TV baby-sit them I will give credit when and if its do ,but believe me before you put everyone else down why don't you work on your own shortcomings nobody likes an asshole.and for mia and Alex leave them alone they are just kidding around and it doesn't concern you they are not hurting anyone ,and all this coming from someone who liked porn instead of me?,really don't judge and don't go there , I will play nice when you grow up and start acting like a human being , and your right we are going to move on when you start acting like an adult and everything isn't always about YOU !!!!!! see you tonight juls -----Original Message----From: Greg [mailto:@cox.net] Sent: Sunday, September 10, 2006 12:15 To: Julie Subject: ?

Do you know how many kids I'm watching-including Jefferey???!!! You call me up to harass me and criticize my parenting after what has transpired with Mia???!!! Did you see them on the couch?????????!!!! Do you think that is OK for a 6 and 8 year old to see???!!! Grand Theft Auto is a fucking game! That shit last night was fucking REAL!!! She's fucking 14!!!!! Gay, bi, what the hell ever-she should not exhibit that shit in front of our boys. Now I've been a very patient man, but between the messes you and Mia make, your irresponsibility regarding cleaning your messes up, and the latest debacle with the computers where you ask me to limit her access then you call me a computer Nazi then you allow her access to the computer and other things...I'm gonna lose my fucking mind!!! You owe me an apology! Just because you menstruate doesn't make all the wacky shit you say and do each month right!!!!! Incidentally, this coming home to a pack of smokes and the phone and hours of respiratory talk has GOT TO GO!!!!! If you worked at McDonald's there would be only so many French fries this family could take before we all THROW UP! When we see you at 6:15 we will be glad to hear about your day-we'll put up with the smell 'til after your shower or change of clothes and then SOME OF US will expect a very simple apology!!!!!! Oh yeah-YOU limit the computer from now on I'M DONE! We're going to move on. We are grown adults and hanging up on people is a juvenile maneuver. Enough. We'll see your smiling face after work. Here, by the way is a little reminder of what I and the boys saw last night. (See attachment) I think it's time you had a serious sit down with her, set and enforce some limits.

End of Email-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Today is December 6th, 2006. Another day in paradise. Mia was in rehab, kicked out of Schofield, then to Cowen behavioral school, then to Miller middle school in Green Valley, kicked out of there, and they recommended Burk school over next to the Orleans hotel amidst a bunch of strip clubs. I told you so still just doesnt do it! Today is January 16th, 2007. This morning, as every morning I take Julie to work, she smoked in the minivan. When we woke, I said I was just dreaming that we were leaving and I had put my socks on because its so cold, then I awoke to find them not on and I was so disappointed. Her reply: Yeah, when I woke up I was just disappointed. This was directed to hurt me but as I awoke, it was from the floor downstairs and as she awoke, it was from the bed upstairs next to Joel-6, and Jake-9. When she got home yesterday, as is every day, she spent 99% of her time smoking cigarettes and talking to her staff & friend Lori F., went to bed around 9, then allowed them to come in and go to sleep next to her. She asked me this morning to go out and start the car early so as to warm up the engine. OK, thats fine-a nice reminder? But for about a year now shes known that Bitsy (our car) has had a problem staying running without someone in the drivers seat keeping the idle up. Its been 20 to 30F for the last month.

Today is(contd.)
Today is August 25, 2007. This is a continuation of my other file, as I have placed it elsewhere so as to avoid its accidental destruction. So lets try to get up to date Just before mom & dads last visit to buy a car, Mom had another all-nighter, had forgotten to replace her protein for some period of time and was a complete asshole.

During dinner at the Red Lobster, in front of everyone she said Just butt-out and let me take care of Mia. In a very angry tone after I said heres a phone right here, call and see where she is if you want. Mia had a conversation with a drug dealer named Greg, about meeting him at his room and trading a girl for (before I forget, Joel has another smokers cough morning today. For the millionth time I told Mom it was because she lights them in the house & waddles outside and she smokes in the garage where the A/C air inlet is & it goes all through the house.) drugs, etc. and she was to be doing that at that very moment Mom was to be enjoying dinner. It had to be eating her alive but instead she had to let her pride take over, probably while Mia was performing a lesbian act on some girl while jacking off a drug dealer at state line for a hit of ecstasy. Mr. B. had me address her during a sit down at the car dealership & she said Mia will have to answer to this on the 29th of August. Subsequently, Mia pissed her off so we contacted the court and she was put on formal probation and they slapped an ankle bracelet on and gave her 30 days house arrest to which she is scoffing. She has gone to the mall twice, spent the evening at Lori F.s, taken off to Jack in the box (the evening before Skarlet came to test her), and one anger-induced trip to the free clinic with Mom to get her Depo-Provera shot which wasnt due yet. Mia has had this adult boyfriend of hers over 3 or 4 times already, he hangs all over her in front of the kids-all the kids, Mom & Fernie have smoked pot with him, he and Mia have taken Moms beer as well as Fernies, last night they were up til 3 doing who knows what Anyway, Mom has had, since my last entry, maybe 2-3 days where shes had only a couple of beers as shes not felt well. The rest have been drunk days. Recently, given the segue, I said yeah, I thought she was an alcoholic. She disagreed. She went on last night as well about how Fernie is an addict to meth while her and Lori can use it a little and not become addicted to it. Oh well. I need to either get Jake and Joel out of here or change the dynamic-correction, with His direction, effect a change in the dynamic here. Mom, Lori and Fernie are sick and are screwing up their kids. I will do what is willed of me to prevent this from going any further. Praise to Allah! Today is august 28, 2007. Mia had a dry run the other day as when they went to the clinic for the depo-prover shot it wans't due, so leaving house arrest again for no reason, then the mall on the 17th, Lori's the other night with Sean to dip her leg in the jacuzzi, coming home at 8 as they thougt that was the time to be in-though I explained that was reserved for when she's off house arrest. Yesterday she told Mom-well Mom said "no, you're not using the phone due to the way you soke to m." Mia says "Oh yes I am." Jule gave her one hour to talk to her boyfriend and she took the phone for the entire night. During the argument over the phone, Mia hit my nice, relatively new refrigerator with the phone and dented it. At this time that I am writing this she had just a few minutes ago stated how she was to be taken to the mall again this paycheck. Oh by the way, she hasn't been to take any aplications back yet as she fucked them up; on e of the anwers on the Subway one included "four nickels" to represent a number greater than .20 cents so she went to the jacuzzi with mom & Lori instead. She's mouthing off on a daily basis, demanding things. Her adult boyfriend (Sean) was over here 3 or 4 days and nights last week and I find it generally repulsive, but will personally

and now 11pm, not to be on the phone, still on the phone with this 18 year old, Sean, and she's had her internet taken away-out of the cpu, so she parked her fat ass on the computer downstairs thinking no one would notice but I kicked her off. I'll say again I've had it with the way she's treating everyone-like we owe her the life of a princess. She's actually telling us how we're gonna take her to the mall Friday to buy her underwear. Oh, yeah, no homework again today-just asking for more money to get the snacks she wants. ENOUGH! Today is September 9, 2007. Mom is on her 3rd day of not drinking. I confronted her 4 days ago, when she started drinking a Heineken at 11:30 about her drinking. She was receptive. She got some really good skunk weed from Mias friend Damien and it was a good time to start. This is her first day back to work after her " vacation" and I hope she can keep it up! Bitsy is back and I hope things will go forward from here, rather than our continuing to spin our wheels. Today is September 21st, 2007. Julie has not had a drink since last entry. She just left a couple of hours ago to take a walk with Lori and Fernie. She said Lori offered her a couple of drinks as a reward if she walked with her. Julie still does not believe she is an alcoholic and I can see she will drink again if she doesnt see otherwise. I dont mind the alcohol, but she is not normal for a long time after she drinks and she does meth with Lori and Fernie so its a problem. As well, I have to wonder seriously if shes having sex with them after she does the meth. Shes stayed out a number of times all night; it breaks my heart to see Joel and Jake come downstairs asking Is mommy home? in the morning. Shes been with them now 2 hours. Im really concerned. Today is September 27, 2007. Yesterday was ok until about 1pm when Mom decided to go with Lori F. to someone named Lisas house to bring her something cause she was racked-up after surgery. Well, we were supposed to go to the boys open house at 6:15, Jake was to be there at 5:45 and I was to leave around 5 to pay the electric bill then be at class at 6pm. Julie drank with Lori, came home around 5:30, Ill swear she had to have had some meth, as in front of about 8 children she sparked up a cigarette at the front door-and left the door open. She proceeded to insist that someone set up the movie Vacancy for Lori as Jake was trying to get ready for choir at 5:45. I redirected poor Jake about 4 times before I had to tell him to flat out ignore moms request to put the movie on for Lori-(I never finished this entry). Today is October 30, 2007. Last Friday night she did it again. Stayed all night at Lori F.s and did methamphetamines. She calls it a Bump. Its ok to have a bump every once in a while. She was an asshole yesterday and called off all three days this week. She slept until after noon yesterday as well. She way overspent the budget as she did last time she methed-out & spent the car insurance money before the accident. Lori F. is a meth addict, so is her boyfriend. I am concerned for Julies health as well as Jake and Joels well being. It was heart breaking to see Joel cry the other night after she started doing the meth. He was sitting on the stairs saying Whats wrong with her? as she had dropped him off & before I knew she was here, she was gone again. She had promised him a video game or something,

but mostly, she was his mother. He really loves his mommy, and his mommy loves meth, and Lori and Fernie. Anyway, were trying to get her off of it, and she has lots of good pot so theres no excuse!! Well see. Today is November 8, 2007. The Thursday before payday. She just went over to Lori F.s. She rushed out. I sense that Lori has more methamphetamine. She took the boys with her, its Xanthias birthday-13th. Julie informed Jake and I at the park today that Lori F. and her family were invited to our family Thanksgiving dinner. She invited them without asking anyone. Both Jake and I got upset with her. Joel was on the swings, otherwise he would have thrown a fit. I hope she doesnt come home methed-out again. Well see. Today is November 22, 2007. Its about 10 after midnight, I just picked Julie up from Lori F.s a few minutes ago with Jake and Joel and shes methed-out again. Shes in the garage right now smoking cigarette after cigarette talking to Lori on the phone, her voice is very nasal-as it is when shes snorted that shit. Pathetic. I remember before Jake was born when I went to go pick up uncle John from Yosemite-I should have known, as when I got back I found she had been doing cocaine all night. She did it the night before last as well when Lori picked her up from work unexpectedly-she even admitted it. I dont feel a bit bad. Theyre getting what they deserve. I went through hell; I hoped Julie wouldnt have to do the same. I think she thinks I dont know shes bisexual. Thats what drugs dokeep you in denial while the world looks at you like your crazy. Its sad to watch. She hates me for trying to get her away from it and doesnt realize its got a grip on her nowThanksgiving on meth-bravo! Well done. I guess its my payback. I can handle it but with Jake and Joel involved, its a whole different ballgame. I win no matter what. Sometimes winning sucks. Today is December 12, 2007. Remind me to tell you about a Lori Fucked-up rico Thanksgiving. She drank and let Jake stay home from school today while I went to work. Jake was so upset when I made him go when I got home. Sad. I found a meth bag a couple of days ago, too. I told Julie, she got angry at me saying I always accuse Mia, etc. Mia denied it was hers and were all thinking it was Julies now. Now, on top of being pretty loaded for 2:15 on a Wednesday, she just told me she hopes I fail the C++ class finals. She has done everything she can to keep me from studying for the entire course-her parents are witness to that. Last night when I got home with Jake and Joel, she was smoking weed in the garage with Mias boyfriend and Fernie, Jake can verify this as he pointed it out that he could smell it and saw them as we pulled up. She also borrowed Mias cash to buy her and Fernie beer last night, now I have to pay Mia back. Today is December 15, 2007. I just dropped her off at Lori F.s again because she said she wanted to drink. Today is December 18, 2007. Last night I left to get Julie some cigarettes and in 20 minutes came back to the front door open in 30 degree weather, the kids were on the

stairs in time out-when I looked at the timer it was set for 15+ minutes, They said she was torturing them, Jake said when he was playing a video game she just snapped. He did admit to saying something about Fernie and sucking his dick, so she stuck him in time out. When I came in, she yelled at me, said I would not be able to leave them with her while I work, called them names in front of them, called me all sorts of horrible things-the usual. She might be PMSing along with no booze & the fact that she wanted to go to Lori F.s to pick up Mia as Mia was there visiting Xanthia and her chinchilla. Julie admitted to me that Lori and Fernie had meth the night of the 15th when their heater died but she said and I didnt do anything. Arent you proud of me? referring to not snorting meth that night. She did drink, however but she behaved. Shit, if she behaved it would never be an issue. Shes such an asshole when she drinks & snorts, though so its a fucking pain in the ass! Here is an excerpt from a website: http://home.earthlink.net/~elnunes/advice.htm

Do not consult with a marriage or family counselor, especially one who is recommended by your spouse or partner. There have been many instances where these marriage mills have repeat business with the same person but with another partner. See a psychiatrist to document the abuse and get help. Victims of abuse often suffer from depression, post traumatic stress disorder, and panic attacks. Have separate physicians. Many professionals cannot maintain their objectivity when they suspect that one spouse is abusing the other. Ask your physician to document your injuries and how you got them. Purchase or rent a miniature audio or video tape recorder and secretly record abusive conduct. Never discuss the abuse with mutual friends. Some people cannot keep a secret. Confide in trustworthy separate friends about the abuse. Consult an attorney about your rights. Spouses should not use the same attorney. Have an attorney or paralegal prepare an application for a restraining or protective order so that you can use it at a moment's notice. Remember

that these orders are valid for a limited time.

Keep in mind that the uncorroborated complaint of a female is sufficient grounds for arrest. The double standard is that if a woman leaves, she is treated as a victim. When a man leaves, regardless of the circumstances, the authorities can charge him with flight from the scene of a crime. If a woman takes her children with her to a shelter, she is regarded as the protective parent. Fathers who take their children with them can be charged with parental kidnapping. Discuss these concerns with your attorney with the purpose of producing a legal paper that protects you from wrongful arrest. Become involved in social activities so you are not isolated. Join a bowling or pool league. Rent a post box at a private facility for your private personal use. Get rid of joint credit or debit cards. Use separate personal credit or debit cards. Save some emergency money for yourself. Open a bank account in your own name at a different bank from that of your partner. Tell the bank to use your private postal address on all materials. Abusive persons often steal or destroy their partner's possessions. Make a photo and written inventory of all property. Include the manufacturer's name, model number, and serial number. Each item should be described as the husband's or wife's separate property, joint property, or marital property. The description of the item must include the date of acquisition, value at the time of acquisition, or the appraised value, and how the item was acquired (by inheritance, gift, purchase, or by other means). Protect the keys and the access codes to your relative's property so that your spouse or partner cannot use or duplicate them. This advice applies equally to your employer's and your friend's property. Always return the keys at completion of employment or when your friend returns from their trip or when there is no necessity to retain them. Keep extra money, keys, clothes, keys, copies of documents (e.g. bank accounts, marriage license, driver's license, birth certificates and health cards, immigration and citizenship papers, passports, etc.), important phone numbers, things for the children, etc. at a safe location. Try to avoid public storage as it might not be readily available when you need it.

Plan for an emergency get away. You may need transportation and have to rely on a trusted friend or relative. Children must know how to protect themselves and where they can go to safe place. Give them a plastic laminated medical and identification card. The card should have child's name, age, gender, address, the names of the child's siblings, your name, your spouse's name, and list any medical conditions. A recent photograph is also helpful. This service may be available in some localities. Give each child a cue card telling them to call 911 in an emergency. The card should include the child's name, address, telephone number, physician, current medications, allergies, and the name and location of a trusted person to contact in the event of an emergency. End the relationship and, when appropriate, sue for divorce.

Heres another:

Menstuff has compiled the following information on Husband Abuse. Last week, I began my column by observing that "one woman is battered every 15 seconds." What I neglected to mention was that the same study found that "one man is battered every 14 seconds." In fact, most studies reveal that men are attacked, clawed, beaten, shot and generally abused at equal - if not slightly greater - rates than women. This rousing omission was not lost on my readers. Shortly after the commentary ran, letters streamed - poured - into our office documenting acts of domestic violence committed against men. The accounts were tied together by a common theme: the reluctance of men to come forward, for fear of being emasculated. One reader recalled how police snickered at him when he reached out to them for help. "Go home and put your woman in place," snorted one officer. Brutal little laughs ensued, leaving the victim feeling like his masculinity had been scooped out. Similar fears prevent 90 percent of battered men from reporting their victimization to the police. Instead, they opt to twist their pain inward. So why did I neglect to mention husband abuse in my previous column on domestic violence? In part, because a commentary allows for a limited amount of space. But also

because I was influenced by longstanding cultural myths that portray men as being genetically programmed to hunt and mate and women as delicate vessels. Countless cultural rituals have nourished these gender roles, so necessary to the maintenance of patriarchal society. In 18th-century France, for example, battered husbands were forced to don garish outfits and ride backward on a donkey through the center of town. Even today, these gender myths continue to float around the zeitgeist. PMS, battered wife syndrome and postpartum depression are all ways that society continues to explain away a woman's aggressive impulses. Indeed, it is telling that Sen. Joseph Biden's 1991 domestic violence legislation bore the title, "Violence Against Women Act." Implicit, was the assumption that domestic abuse is largely a response to male aggression. Ironically, many feminist groups nurture those cultural myths that portray women as victims. Criminologist Coramae Mann conducted a study in six states analyzing the case records of females imprisoned for murder. Her findings suggested that many of these women acted out of aggression, not self-defense. For this, feminist groups roundly criticized her. "They [feminists] would raise the question, 'Well you have these poor battered women.' I said these weren't poor battered women. Many already had violent criminal records. They weren't weak or dependent. They were angry." When Dr. Suzanne Steinmetz had the audacity to publish "The Battered Husband Syndrome" in 1978, a study that found that more women then men initiated domestic violence, feminist groups were on her like an animal. Steinmetz recalls receiving anonymous phone calls from feminist groups threatening to harm her family. At least one implication is that political groups that have resolved to empower battered women have hijacked our understanding of domestic abuse by any means possible - even if that means nourishing those cultural myths that portray women as forever victims. Meanwhile, society's perception of a very serious problem ebbs ever further from reality. http://www.menstuff.org/issues/byissue/husbandabuse.html

Today is December 21, 2007. So, we got the boys ready for football practice last night & headed out the door. 15 minutes later we returned & boys handed mom her 40oz Mickey's Malt Liquor. We weren't that late to practice. We returned, mom was done with her "40", on the phone with you guys and when she got off the phone she said you all had "spilled the beans". I said nothing, she seemed in a good mood, Sean was here.

I was exhausted; I went to bed around 9:40, with Jake on the lower bunk in his room. Joel gets to sleep with Julie, she acts like she hates Jake. Sean began to screw Mia about 10pm as they are on the bed from downstairs which makes that rubber squeaky noise and I thought I was going to throw up. So I wake up this morning and Julie was pleasant, laughing and giggling with me, Mia went to school and left an adult sleeping here in her bed, Today is January 26, 2008. Lori ruined Christmas, too. After I went to bed sick, she and Fernie showed up, got in a fight, she honked her horn incessantly at 10:30 at night because he didnt want to leave, he took Jakes $20 and bought drugs with it & Julie & Lori got in a fight as well. Happy Birthday & Merry Christmas. Julie has been drunk or stoned or both just about every day since. I started working for a limo company the last week in December and almost every day I work (60 hours a week) she calls me drunk, frantic and complaining about Jake and Joel and how her being unable to handle them is my fault. Today she called while I had clients in the car and told me how she was going to pop Joels motorbike tires. When I got a chance to call her back she wouldnt answer the phone so I came all the way home to find she was drunk & she said she just needed to vent. She told me she was on the phone with her mom & thats why she didnt answer. When she came to pick me up she was tired & hadnt quite finished the 6 pack & she couldnt stop calling me names & saying inappropriate stuff. I guess I forgot to mention that she wanted to go out to a concert with her co-worker Chad. I told her how I felt and naturally she found fault with my reasoning. Her drinking is out of control and shes becoming more like a dude. Enough already-all she ever says is If you dont like it, you can leave. As if Id stay if there werent any kids. She needs a rehab and to leave this black, drug neighborhood. Oh yeah, C, the neighbor, threatened her yesterday and so did Cs girl. This sucks. Today is February 4, 2008. I went to the LCSW the other day and he said to pay attention to certain areas, like (controlling, change in demeanor from work to home, stress-1)accept, 2) cope 3) take action-my issue vs. her issue, being responsible in money, parenting, job duties, ABC problems, Health as an issue for stopping smoking & drinking. Today is February 22, 2008. I have a year today. Julie has 5 or 6 days, but is not trying to stop-at least not that she admits. Its 9:30pm, Jake V. is over & his dads in jail again, Calebs over & they play the Bulldogs tomorrow. Its a shame. Im too tired to go to a meeting. I was approved today for over 4k of schooling. Why do I feel so hopeless? Today is March 21, 2009. Holy fucking shit. The stress has caused me a physical rash, to lose weight, Im in a deep depression. Shes so fucking abusive I want to kill myself. Im here for the kids, so I cant. Shes a good person, shes put up with all of my shortcomings, but if it werent for the kids, this would be a legally

prosecutable case. She has me walking on egg shells every minute of every day. Today was Joels birthday, and she snapped again. I finished that $4K of schooling, by the way. Didnt mean a damn thing. What a waste. Today is March 26, 2009. I just found the anniversary clock behind the TV, broken, she says: I dont know why you give me those things. The marriage was a joke! It was in a drive-through! (Her marriage to Moi was in the same drive-through here in Vegas) She must have thrown it the other day just before her parents arrived again. Today is April 30, 2009. A couple of days ago, when I attempted to smack Jake in the head for walking in kitchen and saying This is bullshit for not letting him have Joels lollipop (I had my cell phone in my hand so I couldnt full slap him; I got him with the tips of my finger and part of the phone, but lightly) Julies response was to not address the cussing at all, walk upstairs, and when I smacked him then chased him into the living room, she picked up her anniversary crystal bowl and threw it to the ground from upstairs, smashing it everywhere. Jake said crying Oh my God! This is all my fault! I immediately corrected him, and as Julie said It was an accident; it fell. Jake and I left the house immediately. Shes been out of her $300 an ounce pot for about a week now, drank 3 days in a row this weekend, and threw up twice. Yesterday, she told me to go and get my happy ending. Obviously shes referring to a whore house. This is all with no provocation whatsoever.

Today is June 13, 2009. I found out about Wormwood/Nibiru, 2012. There might not be another entry. Julie is still a bitch unless she has her pot or alcohol. I will do the right thing and continue to love and take care of her until the end. Finding a job is hard with my social security #. I will not stop. I might make the move to Montana if I can to avoid the coming flood and quakes & civil unrest from the coming planet if its real. God help us all. Today is August 9, 2009. As I do more research I found out more truth. I had an accident in our new car, uninsured, 8-12 thousand dollars damage, an additional 10+ for the two other vehicles involved as they are blaming me. I know I had a green arrow in the turn, they claim they had a green light. The car now sits in the garage, waiting for me to fix it. My government is slowly exterminating me and my family, along with most other major world governments in a project called Cloverleaf, I hear it is a plan to reduce world population before Nibiru flies by-if it exists at all. The proof seems to be there, but I cant see it yet. Well see. Julie is in another world. I can only be patient and await her return. She has no idea shes in a deep hypnotic state induced by the evil around her produced by the worlds elite. TV, magazines, even the food we eat, the water we drink and the air we breathe is contaminated in order to make mindless sheeple out of us. Julie is a perfect example of their work. She does and says exactly what they want her to. I have to stay aligned with the notion that I love my boys and will protect them at all costs, even from Julie. They WILL NOT FALL into the trap that Mia did, set and tripped by an unwitting puppet of the government, Julie. Despite the fact I have fallen into the

trap of loving my children, Im there, theyre innocent, and Ill not allow this woman who has been apparently possessed by government programming to ruin their lives the way she did hers and Mias. She found that her father was a heroin addict, her mother my have had the same kind of addictions, maybe meth or cocaine, she has a sister that is addicted to pills, and she refuses to still see she needs to rehabilitate. The other day she threw my clothes out of my closet, dumped water on them, hit me with the phone in the head, and spit on me, all because she was drunk. She called me an asshole, and it seemed to be centered around my asking her to walk Jake V.home for a change. I always walk him home. She does practically nothing here except get high or get drunk. Ok, Im done for now.

Today is November 13, 2009. Another miserable day with Julie-angry because shes out of pot, jonesing from alcohol and theres no money left. Its the worst its been in a long time. Julie just came down and flipped off Jake for calling Joel fat-ass. Great mother, huh? At least shes suffering from indigestion from excessive alcohol intake. Shes had probably 10 Mickeys 40 OZ beers in the past 10-12 days; 2 in a row on Tuesday! Shes literally a nightmare to live with, and has no idea what a bad parent she is, and she keeps repeating these stories about all her lesbian friends-Rosie in particular. Wow! Whats it been? Patricia, Debbie, Jennifer, Lori, Darlene all meth users, all respiratory therapists, except Rosie-she dresses in leather and goes to sex parties. The NWO battle goes on; no change. Today is Saturday, June 11, 2011. Julie didnt come home again last night. She has met a new woman, who is dating a biker from the service; her name is Stella S., a CNA from the new con-home Julie went to work at. Julie was supposed to go get Jakes eyeglasses a couple of weeks ago. Instead, when all the family from California was here, she took Mia and went out with Stella and got Mias tattoo filled in, then got drunk and took pictures with bums on the strip, leaving the whole family wondering when we were all going out as a family. Then last week she went out with Stella again and came home at 3am. Julie refuses to have sex with me but wont tell me why. Its been a long time but I dont need it and Im afraid shes sleeping with others and I dont want to get sick. Stella has a tattoo that she recently got that says 5150 which is a code for a psychiatric hold. Julie got her first tattoo that day on her lower back, commonly known as a tramp stamp. We all just shrug our shoulders at her behavior because outside of the alcohol and addiction it makes no sense. Julie went to work for Deejay, a student she had at St Rose. He got a directors job at the nursing home and asked her to come work for him. Julie called him yesterday, erased the phone record then went out. Thing is his wife just recently threw him out for cheating, and I know she likes him, and theyve nicknamed him BJ because theyd like to blow him. Shes been doing nothing but drinking and smoking and not caring for the kids, spending 600+ a month on drugs and alcohol then complaining about lack of money, still refuses to pay any bills; Jake got accepted to private school & she doesnt want to pay for thatfull on addict alcoholic behavior but she wants me to leave, despite the boards coming approval of my nursing license and my going back to work. Sad. Joel slept at Austins house last night, he was really distant

yesterday, because mom had told him (again) how were getting a divorce, but nothing will change-then she doesnt come home. When he came home today he seemed really quiet. Hes told her before that he just wanted to be normal. Now hes told her that he will live with me, not her. I have not coached him; that was his decision. Jake hates her and tells her so. Has for some time. More later. Today is June 19, 2011. She stayed out with our minivan again last night and came home about 1pm today. She was very agitated, her voice was very nasal, she had a beer almost immediately, then took the boys to go get Tre, their friend. She cooked an Italian meatloaf for her friends then dropped the boys off at the Town Square on Las Vegas Blvd. (including Joel, 11) at about 6pm and took the car again, leaving me unable to retrieve the boys, called about 9pm, slurring her words saying they had called her wanting to come home. They walked several miles to Tres home along Las Vegas Blvd. and are there now waiting for a ride home. It is 10:30 and Julie is still not home; Jake has a placement test at school at 8am, and Julie is supposed to work at 6am. Today is June 20, 2011. We just came in from Jakes practice, I was looking online at the site Julie had just paid for Joels airsoft gun vest through and I said Wow Joel, these really look like real guns! She replied, Whattya gonna do, buy him more guns so he can go to juvenile hall? Thats where youre gonna end up, Joel, in jail! You know your father was in jail!? in front of Mitchell.

Today is July 1, 2011. Last Saturday she didnt come home again. She showed up Sunday around 6pm. She walked in, grabbed my wallet and wanted cigarette money. I told her it was food money but we got some cigarette money together anyway. This evening, she overdosed on Xanax, drank a couple of beers and took off withfriends whom she wouldnt identify at 8pm yelling and screaming at me on the phone about money. She just had to pay Damien $90, had him leave another $100 of pot for which shell owe him, shorted her part of the bills because she was too high to count the moneyjeez. Did I mention she had to drive down and pick up her check because she canceled her direct deposit, came back too late to repair the car after going to Macys to get a new dress for ???? I guess Jakes not getting his new cleats this week. Today is July 4, 2011. Its a little past midnight, Julie just called, spoke to Joel for a moment saying Hi baby then she hung up. She came home Saturday morning about 9:30am after staying out all night again. Today she said she was going to a BBQ, for which she bought a white sun dress at Macys. She said her friend Melinda was going to pick her up but she had trouble slowing the car down for corners and would miss our turn, so she had to go out to the intersection to meet her. A few minutes later I went to go to the store and she was walking all the way to the corner of the two major streets by the gas station.

Today is July 10, 2011. We dropped Julie off at the Ellis Island Casino on Koval behind the strip on Friday night about 9pm. She said she was meeting Stella Saulman and company for a drink. Far as I know, and we checked, she had $16 in one account and about 10 in another. We had enough to put 1 gallon of gas in the car. She did not come home again that night and finally showed up about 7:30pm Saturday evening. Today she got up about 8am, went back to bed about 2pm and slept until she woke at 7:30pm in a panic, afraid she had missed work. She had taken more Xanax so she slept through most of the noise of the day. When she awoke, she demanded money for cigarettes. When we told her there was only enough for gas I the morning, she became furious, and told me I only had 90 days to stay again. Then she told the children her itinerary and they said they were on board with Dads program, which infuriated her even more. She then revealed she had most of the money for her cigarettes and only needed 80 cents. I went and got them for her, she calmed down and then sat and watched more Housewives on Bravo. Today is July 13, 2011. Here is an excerpt from a free legal site Ive been using: Had to go to a friend's yesterday after she physically abused our 11 year old right in front of me. She hit him about the face, the right side and the top of the head. Apparently she did it in the kitchen first then he came and sat next to me-apparently for protection. She had the TV in the kitchen so loud I didn't hear what was going on, but he had told her she was 'drunk (which she was after drinking a 40oz malt liquor) and didn't know what she was saying.' I picked him up and we calmly left. She just called and told us she would not be home again tonight after going out to drink, but I am to pick her up after work tomorrow. I will be speaking with her father tomorrow regarding his position in the matter; when I called him tonight after she left he said he couldn't talk as he was playing poker, but would call in the morning. She's still pressuring me to sign the papers, and I'm still refusing. Today is July 22, 2011. Last night she stayed out all night, no call. Heres my email to Mr. B, which I didnt send: Hi Mr. B, Just so you didn't think I was continuing to "process information all fucked up", when I told her "OK, let me take a look at the papers since you don't want anything but the divorce", she gave me this. Julie didn't come home again Wednesday night, Friday night, stayed out all Saturday and came home Sunday, I forget what time. Joel called her Friday night and asked her when she was going to be home, she asked him why he wants her to come home, he replied "I just miss you and just want you to come home." She told him she was at a local bar, and if he REALLY wanted her to come home she would. Joel said "she was having trouble talking 'cause she was really drunk" then told her "mmmh, nah, it's ok." She did not come home again last night, no call. Tonight Julie started yelling at me to sign the divorce papers again. She seemed very drunk, high, and was slurring her words. When I confronted her on her using and drinking, she started shouting about how when I was in Jail for 4 months she put money on my books, and something else, I forget, but poor Jake had all his friends here, and before it started he begged us not to do this here and now, he said please dad, not here,

not now and I just looked him in the eyes as his heart became broken as Julie spewed the whole thing right in front of them. List of attendees at Julies airing of the family dirty laundry: Leah- 15, Eddie-15, Nick -14, Cody -14, and of course, Jacob-13.

Today is August 7, 2011. Julie has been gone for the last two (Joel called her last night and said 3) days, which has made it rather calm, quiet and clean here. She has been calling her parents and fabricating stories about how I am the center of her problems, the reason for her drinking, and the one who tells the boys to say bad things to her. Just the opposite is true. The only thing I have told the boys is the truth; that mom has a disease called alcoholism, and that she is sick, and that she loves them but doesnt come home because the disease makes her drink before anything else. Julie has also admitted to having relationship with her boss, D C E, affectionately known as BJ, which she later denied stating they were only friends but it seems she was coached on that. She has not purchased her fair share of groceries for the boys, and instead has been spending the money with her new family and friends. She told me at one point to spend a little from her share of Jacobs school money for food-I think last Saturday-and that she would reimburse me. She has not. Instead she spent 1 or 2 nights out last week and again this weekend. The sad thing is she doesnt seem to remember to tell the boys where shes going or when shell be back, and poor Joel who although silly at his age has been sleeping with her and I since he was a baby, and recently just her since her drinking got so heavy and Joel got so big he takes up a third of the bed, I had to move to Joels room, really gets sad when she just doesnt show up. Last night he called her and she said she would come home later-maybe, then did not. The night before last-I believe-she was out at a movie called Crazy, Stupid love when he called her to ask where she was and she never came home. Today is August 11, 2011. Its 12:36AM, Julie came home from work and went straight upstairs, asking me to buy her cigarettes on the way up, as her 1800 dollar check didnt last as long as my last two 360 unemployment checks. She didnt come home again last night, and we found she has a new phone number, and when you call it, Deejay answers and says This is Julies phone, please leave a message. Joel heard it, and you should have seen the look on his face. Its been about the last month she just doesnt come home, and doesnt tell the kids what shes doing. Joel gets the most upset. I remind them both that she really loves them, despite that she hasnt spent her fair share of money on food for them. She instead spends it on new outfits every other week and then disappears.

Related Interests