Fol l y Beac hs Newspaper

Vol . 3 I ssue 23
August 19, 2011 w FREE
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E Are You MY BoYfriend? page 13 Bowens fire page 15 follY lAMpoons page 11
Li ght s Of f For Sea Turt l es
Voter ID continued on page 4
I
t's been a record breaking year for sea turtles on Folly Beach,
with 82 nests to date. Tirty-six nests have hatched so far,
with an 80 percent success rate. Te previous record was in
2009, when 63 turtles nested on Folly. Tanks to the Folly Beach
Turtle Watch Program for their diligent work monitoring and
protecting the nests, and to Nancy Smith for these photos of
a mama turtle heading back to sea, and the tracks of a nesting
turtle at Lighthouse Inlet.
Rec or d Year f or Sea Tur t l es
Y
ouve probably heard about the
new Voter ID law (now waiting
for Department of Justice
clearance). But there are parts of it that
may afect some people on Folly Beach
more than other places. Learn about it
now so you dont lose your vote.
First, youll have to show a photo ID to
vote one of the following:
SC drivers license
SC ID card from the Department
of Motor Vehicles (DMV)
US military ID OR
US passport
Te purpose is to compare your
photograph and your signature, to make
sure youre not voting for someone else.
Tats the only fraud that voter ID can
detect.
By the end of the year, the Board of
Elections will issue new photo registration
cards that can also be used at the polls.
Tey hope to get your photo from the
DMV, so youd just get the new card in
the mail. If you dont have a DMV license
or ID, youll have to make a trip to the
Board of Elections to be photographed.
Most people on Folly Beach have a
South Carolina drivers license (although
it may not have the right address, and that
can lead to other problems see below!).
But if you just moved here from another
state, dont expect to waltz into the DMV
and walk out with a license. DMV is now
part of the Homeland Security system,
and getting a license can be agonizing.
Just ask Folly Beach resident Christine
The New
Vot er I D Law
How i t Affects folly
By SuSan BreSlin
pHoto by NANcy smitH
2 August 19, 2011
WWW.FOLLYCURRENT.COM
ci vi c
Counc i l Dodges Beac h Pat r ol Quest i on
F ol ly Beach ci t y counci l Meet i ng august 9 , 2 0 11
BY BLAKE BUNCH
Council member McCarty was not present.
Council member Beck came at the end.
It is hot, even at the beach, stated Mayor
Goodwin at the beginning of the meeting.
Be sure to keep plenty of water for your
pets, as well as yourself.
Chief Brown stated that he had three
commendations for Folly Beach fremen.
Tese three frefghters responded to a
structure fre on Bowens Island on August
3, although dispatch advised them that
their help was not needed. Responding
anyway, the fre personnel, along with
Sergeant Couche, arrived at the home,
fnding it engulfed in fames. James Island
Fire Battalion Chief Glick informed Chief
Brown that his crew had the fre out
within ten minutes. Teir actions helped
save a great deal of the structure, as well as
prevent it from spreading further. Te three
fremen receiving these commendations
were Rob Fulmer, Herbert Scott, and
Christopher Gay.
Mayor Goodwin then asked who directed
trafc the prior Sunday, extending his
thanks for maintaining good trafc fow
on the day of rest.
Council member Rich motioned to pull
Ordinance No. 26-11, regarding the Beach
Management Patrol Committee, until
Councils work session after Labor Day
weekend.
I somewhat jumped the gun on this
issue, and would like to wait until after
season to evaluate this, stated Rich. I
have been an advocate for this program
from day one, and it is rather disheartening
to hear otherwise, he continued.
Clamp then motioned to approve the
Agenda as amended, with Ellis seconding.
Te motion carried.

PERSONAL APPEARANCES
Batey Self of Kappa Alpha Teta Sorority
from College of Charleston requested
approval for a beach gathering. Tis would
be on the sororitys bid day, on August
21 from 12pm to 3pm. We did this
two years back, and everyone enjoyed it
thoroughly, said Self. Tere will be no
alcohol involved; and there will be about
100 girls hanging out on the beach. Self
added that the last event held at the beach
was near Summer Place, close to the Morris
Island Light House.
Ellis said that erosion is a major problem
in that area, and that it may be more
benefcial for them to pick another spot.
Hume recommended that 3rd or 4th Street
on the West Side of the island as a more
suitable place for so many people to gather.
Clamp motioned to approve the event
request with Rich seconding. Te motion
carried unanimously.
CitizENS COmmENtS
Angus Minton of 414 East Eerie and the
Folly Beach Exchange Club thanked
Council for their generous donation to the
Exchange Clubs Flag Fund. He further
added that if anyone is interested in joining
the club, their spaghetti supper will be held
on August 20 from 4pm to 7pm.
Susan Breslin of 1115 East Arctic spoke
regarding Ordinance No. 26-11. I dont
want to be unkind or single anyone out,
because the ordinance looks like it was
written by a committee, stated Breslin.
Anyone trying to manage something
can tell you that you dont manage by
committee theres no accountability.
Although I have no particular experience
with the beach, I have heard that the Beach
Patrol is doing a fantastic job, concluded
Breslin.
Jim Trusso of 254 Little Oak Island Drive
was present for the same reason. A former
superintendent with a Board of Education,
Trusso contrasted enacting this ordinance
with his former job. First of all, a board
of education establishes policy, but does
not go into the classroom and evaluate
the teacher, stated Trusso. Secondly,
committees just dont function well when
theres a yes and no decision to be made.
Tirdly, I am on the beach more than
most of you. I have found a remarkable
change within the past year, and wanted
to commend Council for establishing the
beach patrol.
Jerry Pierce petitioned Council for a
memorial event request to be held on
September 24 from 11am-4pm. Te event
would be held on 1st Street near the Tides
parking lot and Ocean Point Villas.
Rich motioned to approve the request,
with Ellis seconding. Te motion carried
unanimously.
Tom Scruggs of 319 West Indian Avenue
was pleased to hear that Rich removed the
ordinances from the Agenda. In regards
to beach patrol, were really learning as we
go, stated Scruggs. I have to tip my hat
to the chief, because people really listen to
him. He means business and is a good
leader.
Beth Saunders of 406 West Cooper, the
mother of Kathleen Saunders (a member
of the Beach Patrol), had some input from
her daughter. Kathleen Saunders felt
that her job entails being a steward of
the beach. She continued that most of
the trash she fnds is not alcohol related.
Typically they fnd water bottles, bucket
handles, and other various items of trash.
UNFiNiSHED BUSiNESS
Ordinance No. 13-11 Creates a new Utility
Advisory Board (SECOND READING
introduced by Council member
McCarty).
Ellis motioned to approve the ordinance,
with Clamp seconding. Te motion
carried unanimously. Ellis then motioned
for a third reading of the ordinance, which
passed unanimously.
Ordinance No. 25-11 Gives the Code
Enforcement Authority to determine
and enforce violations of property
laws determining upkeep, health, and
appearance. (SECOND READING
introduced by Mayor Goodwin).
Hume motioned to approve the
ordinance, with Clamp seconding. Te
motion carried 3-2, with Ellis and Rich
opposed.
NEw BUSiNESS
In regards to Appointments to Boards,
Commissions, and Committees, Mayor
Goodwin said that Council only needed to
vote for the three vacancies in Community
Promotions. Te resulting three members
were Kathy Nicklaus, Nancy Hussey, and
Anton Dumars.
Ordinance No.27-11 Defnes what is
considered trash, rubbish, and debris on
the beach, and gives the City enforcement
ability to remove tents and items left on
the beach after 7 p.m. (FIRST READING
introduced by Council member Rich).
Hume motioned to approve the ordinance,
with Rich seconding. Te motion passed.
In Council comments, Rich said, If anyone
has any misinterpretation about what I
said in regards to Beach Management, feel
free to call or email me. I am a staunch
supporter of Beach Management, and feel
that they have been doing a great job, he
added.
Beck joined the meeting at this point and
said she had been delayed returning from
a trip.
Clamp stated that they have a great Beach
Patrol, and he is proud of what we got.
Ellis added that it seemed to him as though
there was a trend for them leaning towards
the prevention of litter.
Hume said, What I am happy to hear
is that the Folly Float Frenzy is back in
town. Tis goes from the Boat Landing to
the marina. He said that all proceeds will
be going to charity, and they are hoping to
bring it back as a post-seasonal event.
Te event will occur on September 17 at
noon, at the Boat Landing.
Were working for safety frst, and we
should be able to have a link on the Citys
website here soon, concluded Hume.
Ellis then motioned to adjourn the
meeting. Te motion carried.
August 19, 2011 3
Lucky Dog Publishing, LLC
Publishers of The Folly Current, The Island
Eye News and the Island Connection.
Lynn Pierotti
publisher
lynn@luckydognews.com

Stratton Lawrence
editor
stratton@luckydognews.com
Blake Bunch
associate editor
blake@luckydognews.com

Swan Richards
senior graphic designer
swan@luckydognews.com
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sales manager
lori@luckydognews.com
Richard Brendel
advertising
843-478-0896
richard@luckydognews.com

Contributors
Jacob Flannick
Susan Breslin
Capt Geoff Bennett
Joel Flores
Julia Scott
Dean Sutton
Jud Bushkar
Heather Johnson
Fay A.
Megan Caroll
Anton Dumars
Smoky Weiner
David Crawford
Robert Bohrn
Becky Sparks
Published by
Lucky Dog Publishing
of South Carolina, LLC
P.O. Box 837
Sullivans Island, SC 29482
843-886-NEWS
September 2 Paper Deadline:
August 24 for Submissions
The Folly Current, a wholly owned
subsidiary of Lucky Dog Publishing of
South Carolina LLC, is a free, indepen-
dent newspaper published every two
weeks and is for and about Folly Beach.
Copies are mailed free of charge to ev-
ery active mailbox in our coverage area
and are also available at area business-
es and by subscription to non-islanders.
Subscriptions are $39 per year for non-
residents and are available by sending
a check to Lucky Dog Publishing, LLC,
P.O. Box 837, Sullivans Island, SC
29482. Our editorial content is primar-
ily dedicated to the area of distribution;
ad space is open to all businesses who
want to reach the Folly Beach market.
Complete ad creation is $50, however,
changes of up to 30% of the original ad
are included at no extra cost. All adver-
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enews.com under advertising.
CI VI C
Letters to the editor...
To the Folly Current,
My name is Carl Wolf, III, aka
Wolfe and I reside on the 1
st
block of
East Ashley Ave between the Sand Dollar
and Berts Super Market. I must share
with our community my thoughts of
allowing people to drink on our beach.
I have commercial property and I am
licensed by the City of Folly Beach to park
cars on our property. I can park around
21-23 cars at one time. It amazes me the
value of the cars I park--I have around
$750,000 to $1,000,000 dollars of value
at any given time.
As I consider myself an ambassador
for our city, I ask and tell everyone our
rules about drinking on the beach. What
surprises me the most? Eighty percent of
my customers are not drinking alcohol on
our beach. I ask every person--the ones you
think who will be drinking are not--the
ones you think No way this family would
be drinking are!! It absolutely trips me
out every given Saturday and Sunday.
I walk my block about every night and
I pick up more plastic water bottles and
bags than I do of cans. I dont have a dog
in this fght but I want the other citizens
that constantly complain about this and
that to come spend one night at my house
and see what I put up with 24/7/365!!
Tese citizens really have no clue what
each 1
st
block east and west from Arctic
to Indian put up with constantly. Every
night you can sit on my porch and watch
the number of people that run and scream
to get to Berts to purchase beer before our
2am cut/of- its disgusting!! But its our
law-so people have to do this!!
I get so sick of hearing other citizens
who live further down east or west side of
our island complaining about everything.
PEOPLE GET OVER IT - ITS FOLLY
AND IF YOU DONT LIKE IT, SELL
YOUR HOME AND MOVE- PLEASE!!
Tis is the frst time Im speaking
out, because citizens-I know where I live
and I have learned to live with this and
many other issues 24/7. Its just like
when we were in school, that one student
does something wrong and will not take
responsibility for their actions--therefore
the entire class gets punished. Tat is the
same thing about the alcohol issue.
I agree with a council member-put it
on the ballot and let every citizen who
votes make the decision for us--one group
or group of citizens should not have the
right to make the decision for the entire
community. Remember--this is America
and the majority rules!!
Hello-citizens--we are the only city that
still allows smoking in our restaurants,
and who made that decision for us?--our
voters!! So-I say put it on the ballot and
let us, the citizens, make that decision -
not one person, nor group, nor our city
council and mayor--if the people say No
or they say Yes then we all learn to live
with it!!
As I stated above, I have no fnancial
gain one way or another--my parking
lot will still be packed because our day
trippers love our beach!! I think we forget
this is America and we all should have
our say-which is our individual VOTE!!
Tank you,

Respectfully,
Carl E. Wolf, III
cwolf@eratidesrealty.com
P.S. I must give you (editor) a compliment-
-you truly say the truth about whats going
on in our city-Im very impressed that
you dont tilt your work in any way--most
writers will tilt the words in there way-but
buddy-you just shoot it straight!!
__________________________
To the Follly Current,
So, you use the paper to mock those
that are against alcohol on the beach
(not even in a cup, front page picture).
Tink its funny do you? Forget the public
urination, foul language, and destruction
of property. Focus on the drunk teenager
getting in his car and driving of the beach
with little children and adults walking on
the side of the road. Picture yourself on a
bike riding down East Ashley and a drunk
coming up fast behind you and you with
nowhere to get out of the way because cars
are bumper to bumper on the side of the
road.
Has a teenager had a tragic accident
leaving Folly in the past? You bet they
have. But you think its deserves a laugh.
Sad.
If you want to be a responsible editor,
start with accepting opinions that are
opposite yours. Start listening to BOTH
sides. If we had responsible legal age
drinkers on the beach, there wouldnt be
a problem. Tere also wouldnt be a need
to have volunteers and paid folks cleaning
the beach every day. Probably wouldnt
have to spend $2 million plus on Public
Safety each year either.
So (editor), look further than the
bottom of you BUD (sic) and understand
how others see whats happening to Folly
Beach. People who call Folly Beach home.
Not a place to go to get drunk.
Jim Setford
1215 Tabby Drive

Letters continued on page 4
4 August 19, 2011
WWW.FOLLYCURRENT.COM
To the Folly Current,
Te concept of widening the right-
of-way on Folly Road for additional lanes
for inbound Folly Beach trafc is a prime
example of wasted money. Te issue is
NOT, contrary to visitors opinions who
sit in trafc for hours to drive here, one
of access to the island. Te issue is: where
do they park? Add up all spaces on the
island itself: free, metered, paid parking
lots and anyplace where you think you
can squeeze in and not get cited,
towed or have a nasty message on your
windshield. How many spaces is that?
How many vehicles cross onto Folly Beach
on Saturdays, Sundays, and holidays? Is
the phrase packing 10 lbs. of potatoes in
a 5 lb. sack familiar to anyone? Maybe
someone could start a horizontal parking
service, as in a dry-stack marina.
Of course, few vehicles stay the entire
day, but the turnover of abdicated spaces is
probably small, and would not make much
diference in the total picture; it certainly
isnt worth driving around in circles for
hours trying to fnd one. Te one solution
that might make sense would be to widen
Folly Road inward from the four-lane.
Tere would be a third-lane that would be
a reversible lane. On a typical weekend, the
reversible lane might be set for inbound
trafc from 9:00a.m. until after 3:00p.m.,
or whatever hour is supported by the trafc
data. Afterwards, the third-lane would
function for outbound usage only, until the
trafc has reduced a need for it. During the
week, it might serve as a turning lane for
both directions or whatever purpose the
town chooses.
Tis doesnt solve the parking problem,
it merely adds another lane for inbound
trafc. Unless the city of folly beach
chooses to impose eminent domain
actions against property owners (which is
okay if incumbents choose not to campaign
for re-election and also plan to move away
from the beach), the amount of vehicle
parking for tourists is limited to what it
is now. Te issue of more parking spaces
is beyond me to imagine where the room
would come from. Folly can barely hold
onto the beachfront it has now. Consider
what real estate Folly has lost to the ocean
over the past 40 years.
A.C. Waldrep
14 Lockwood Drive, Charleston
To the Folly Current,
I would like to send out kudos to the
women and men responsible for the Public
Safety beach cleanup eforts. I am amazed
at the diference between last summer and
this summer. I am one of many residents
living on the west side who pick up trash
on the beach. Last summer, there were
many mornings when I would collect two
to three grocery bags of trash. Tis year
I have to work hard to fll a bag while on
my walks. When sitting on the beach, I
see patrol vehicles making frequent stops
to pick up trash and/or encourage others
to do the same. Job well done!
Stephanie Scoll
Wilkerson when she moved here from
Texas, it took her two years and seven
trips to the DMV because her name had
changed with two marriages.
Start now to accumulate the documents
youll need a birth certifcate, proof
of residence, a social security card (or
military ID or signed letter from the
Social Security Administration), and
proof of any name change. If you own
a vehicle, youll need proof of insurance.
And if youve never had a license, youll
need a learners permit.
If your situation is complicated for
instance, if your name has changed, or you
dont have basic documents you might
want to start by calling the State DMV
at (803) 896-5000. Ask for a supervisor,
and write down their name.
And if all else fails, you can register to
vote without a photo ID (a utility bill is
enough), and you can vote absentee by
mail without a photo ID, as long as you
fall within one of 11 categories (some of
them are: over 65, working, on vacation,
disabled).
Now, for the part of the law you
havent heard about. Te legislature
has tightened up the law on domicile
(residence). It used to be that if someone
challenged your right to vote because
they said you didnt live where your
registration said you did, you might never
hear about it, or at most, you had to make
a trip to the Board of Elections with proof
of residence. Under the new law, youre
notifed if youre challenged, and you
have to go to a formal Board of Elections
hearing. If you lose at that hearing, you
have to go to circuit court, and then to
state Supreme Court.
Tink that sounds unlikely? Within
the last 10 years, the domicile of dozens of
Folly Beach residents has been challenged
twice once by a citizen trying to make a
point, and once by Wallace Scarborough,
who was trying to throw out an Assembly
election hed lost by a couple of hundred
votes.
Te fact is, Folly residents are vulnerable
to domicile challenges. We often move
around the island, and since our PO Box
and our polling place dont change, we
dont update registration cards or other
documents like licenses. But we may
move from one precinct to another (the
boundary on the island is East 3rd Street)
and commit election fraud by voting in
our old precinct.
Were also vulnerable because many
of us live in houses which are charged
6% of the appraised value on real estate
taxes, instead of the 4% rate for residents.
Maybe you rent your house a few weeks
a year. Maybe your house is a duplex,
with part of it rented. Living in a 6%
house is one of the grounds in the law for
challenging domicile.
Some prominent Folly Beach residents
were caught in Wallace Scarboroughs
net because they had their mail sent to
the ofce so their secretaries could pay
the bills. Some forwarded their mail to a
vacation house.
Some of the other grounds for challenge
are: the location of personal property, like
cars and boats; your address for income
tax purposes; the address you used to
enroll your kids in school; the residence
of your parents, spouse or children; the
address on income taxes and legal and
fnancial documents; and the address on
club or organization memberships.
Wallace Scarborough found about
700 voters in his assembly district who
had a diferent mailing address than the
place where they lived (Scarborough was
one of them). He found over 900 people
who had a diferent address on their
license, or paid personal property taxes
on a boat or car or truck somewhere else.
Most of those people never knew theyd
been named, and the Board of Elections
threw out his challenge. But the new law
requires voters to be notifed, and requires
Boards of Elections to consider all those
factors (before, it was optional).
Its only a matter of time before another
losing candidate brings a challenge like
that. Te legislature made it easier to
do it by changing the law. Take care of
business. Bring all your documents up
to date (including your voter registration
card). Dont get caught at the polls, and
dont lose your vote.
Letters continued from page 3 Voter ID continued from cover
August 19, 2011 5
WWW.FOLLYCURRENT.COM
W
hen I was about four years old,
I remember telling my mother
I wanted to be a dancer. I
distinctly recall my sister saying that I
was too short. Somehow, I got tap lessons,
and my sister, who was tall and thin, got
ballet.
With my early dream squashed, I went
on to other things as I grew older, including
getting a degree in Natural Resources to
be a park ranger. After a number of years,
I realized I had succumbed to the dance
anyway. Professional dancers never last as
long as I have. I have been dancing for 27
years.
My earliest dance experiences were
the Jerry Garcia Band when I was 14,
reggae bands, and some of the best punk
rock bands of the day. including the
Dead Kennedys, Black Flag and Butthole
Surfers, where we would slam-dance. In
high school, my friends and I, the artsy
freaks and skateboarders, could hardly
wait for the school dance. Not so we
could giggle with our girlfriends and firt
with the boys, or even attempt to drink
alcohol, but just to dance. All we cared
about was waiting for that one INXS or
Te Cure song when wed jump up on the
dance foor in our cool black clothing and
our spiky hair and dance around all crazy
while the normal kids looked on and
wondered or laughed.
In college, as I pursued my park
ranger career, I went to see my favorite
band Small Fish every Tursday &
Friday night, dancing the entire time to
every single song. I remember walking
home afterwards, sweaty and happy.
My friends and I went to every weekend
Grateful Dead show that we could from
Eugene, Oregon to San Francisco. Tis
was the best dancing environment I have
ever experienced in my life. Tere were
groups of people twirling and spinning,
holding hands in a circle, exuberantly
hugging one another after each song, and
everyone guessing what the next song
would be, so committed to the music and
the dance. No one was afraid to dance
wholeheartedly.
After college, I was seeing a Grateful
Dead cover band in St. Louis called Jakes
Leg, and many other great bands every
Friday night. When I discovered the band
Widespread Panic, I eventually moved
to the South, going to over 250 shows,
continuing my dancing to its absolute
peak!
I moved to Folly Beach ten years ago,
where there is always some music playing
in one establishment or another. I enjoy
dancing as much today as I ever have, and
cant think of anything that relaxes and
excites me more.
Teres nothing like being in a hole in
the wall beach town bar with the lights
low and the band getting ready to play.
You know friends will arrive on the dance
foor with greetings and hugs, and new
strangers will come every week from
distant states around the country and
around the world to join in the fun. You
just never know what will happen next.
And thats the beauty of music in general,
which by its nature is improvisational and
unpredictable. Terefore, you must learn
to go with the fow on the dance foor,
which is one reason I love dancing so
much. Music and dancing bring me right
to the Now, the eternal moment, where I
too am the instrument, and the song, and
the dance of life, all at once, all as one.
Over the years, many people have
graciously told me, You are a beautiful
dancer. So I guess theres a lesson here,
which is to listen to your heart, even at
a young age, because it knows your true
desires, though you may not yet. Your
deepest needs will fnd a way to the surface
and eventually be expressed, perhaps in a
circle of spinning color and sound.

Danc i ng i nt o t he Now
By Julia Scott
Sand Dol l ar
Rec ogni zed i n
Sout her n Li vi ng
C
ongratulations to the Sand
Dollar Social Club, who
received recognition as
one of fve beach-bar faves in the
August edition of Southern Living
Magazine. A perfect recipe for a
regular congregation of sun-kissed
disciples, wrote the magazine,
pointing out the Dollars regular
live music and $1 Bud cans.
6 August 19, 2011
Sudoku
Solution on page 11 Level: Very Hard
Only On FOlly Pol i c e Bl ot t er
By Blake Bunch
At Least the Porch is Still New
On July 22, two ofcers were on foot patrol
near Loggerheads on West Arctic Avenue.
Te ofcers heard some commotion near
the outside cabana bar and arrived to
two men being separated by the bar staf.
After the altercation dissipated, one of the
subjects decided to climb over the railing
on the second-story deck, dangle, and
then drop onto the hood of a car. Te
subject bounced up and down on the
hood of the car, taunting someone on the
deck. He stated that he did not know who
the car belonged to, and once the victim
came forward, she informed ofcers that
she would like to press charges. Te
estimated damage was near $900, and the
subject was arrested for disorderly conduct
and malicious injury to personal property.
You know, everyone has their own secrets
when it comes to meeting the ladies.
Tats Assault, Brother
On July 23, and about thirty minutes after
closing time, ofcers responded to a fght
in progress outside a residence on West
Indian Avenue. A victim informed ofcers
that she and her boyfriend were walking
home when they noticed three males and
a female fghting outside their residence.
After the woman told the brawlers to leave
her residence, a short and stocky guy got
in her boyfriends face, cursing at him.
Te subject then picked up the boyfriend
by his neck, dropping him on the ground
head frst. Both victims stated that they
did not know the group, so there was
not much the ofcers could do. Luckily
for the man, his girlfriend was an EMT
and informed ofcers that she was going
to take care of him. Talk about getting
taken care of.
Someones New Living Room Piece
On July 15 an ofcer was dispatched to the
intersection of 5th Street and East Cooper
Avenue in reference to a missing stop sign.
When the ofcer arrived, he noted that the
sign was completely missing. He then cut
his blue lights on, and began to direct the
oncoming trafc. Another ofcer brought
a temporary stop sign, but was unable to
locate the missing stop sign. Tere were
no known suspects involved in this theft.
Cop Magnet
On July 27 an ofcer was on patrol on
West Ashley Avenue and was waved down
by a person outside of Loggerheads. Te
complainant stated that a man on the
property was asked to leave, and was
refusing to do so. When the ofcers spoke
to the man, he became cooperative and
was taken from the area by some of his
friends. Innocently enough, there was
nothing to report after this incident.
Early in the morning on July 28, and in
a completely related incident, ofcers
pulled the same man over for speeding
on West Indian Avenue. When asked to
exit the car, and before the ofcer frisked
the man, he stated that he had marijuana
in his pocket. Te ofcer got hold of the
herb stating, Te green, leafy substance
was indeed marijuana. Te man was
then placed under arrest for possession
of marijuana and careless operation. Te
marijuana weighed, with the bag, 5.176
grams. Ah, just another day keeping the
big fsh of the streets.
If I had known it was going to be
this kind of party.
On August 7 around 2:30am, an ofcer
walked out to the beach to investigate
why a car was parked at 9th Street access
after-hours. Once on the beachfront, the
ofcer noticed a male and female subject
jumping around in the surf in various
states of undress. Te ofcer signaled
for both subject to come out of the water,
and the female was the frst to exit. She
put her clothes back on with no questions
asked, though her male companion was
a diferent story. Once exiting the water,
the ofcer told him to put on his clothes,
to which he refused. After picking up his
boxer shorts, he held them in his hand
and walked toward the ofcer, grabbing
his privates and saying Is this what you
want to look at? As one could imagine,
the female was released with a warning for
public indecency and the man was arrested
for disorderly conduct.
Barely Legal
On August 5 two ofcers responded to a
noise complaint in West Mariners Cay.
Upon arrival, the ofcers noticed a group
of early-20s looking intoxicated persons.
After making contact with the renter of the
unit, she stated that some people crashed
her party, and were the main reason for
the noise. She promised to kick everyone
out, and the ofcers reminded her of the
consequences if they had to come back.
Sure enough, about a half hour later they
got another call. Seven or so partygoers
were in the pool, once again in various
states of undress, using the pool after
10pm (against H.O.A. regulations). Te
renter ofcers had spoken with earlier
was the most grossly intoxicated and least
dressed, as she was completely naked.
Since she was 20 years old, she was
released for disorderly conduct, allowed
to leave with someone sober. No need to
stereotype, guys.
Cant Touch Tis
On July 30 an ofcer responded to Snapper
Jacks in reference to a female who claimed
she was assaulted by the bouncer. Arriving
on the scene, the ofcer noted that the
female was very intoxicated, sitting in the
street and visibly upset. Te woman stated
that the bouncer had fung open the doors
with her behind them, which knocked
her down into the street. She stated that
she would like to press assault charges on
the man, which was further verifed by
another female witness. A male witness
told ofcers that the woman was asked to
leave the bar due to how drunk she was,
and when she tried to re-enter several
times, the bouncer would not allow her.
Te bouncer admitted to finging the
doors open and seeing the woman fall, but
stated that he never laid his hands on her.
He was then charged with simple assault
and battery.
August 19, 2011
7
WWW.FOLLYCURRENT.COM
on t he wat er
N
o doubt it has been a hot
summer, but it hasnt slowed
down the fshing. Anglers
leaving frst thing in morning have been
rewarded with hungry redfsh and trout.
All tactics, whether it be artifcials, live
bait or fies have been working well. Add
all the seasonal species present to the mix
and you have some great fshing.
Weve been targeting redfsh with
artifcial lures, especially around low
tide. Te longer jerk shad lures that
worked so well in the spring are still
productive. However, we have had better
luck throwing smaller, darker artifcials
like Zmans Streakz curly tail grub in
black/gold fake. With both, we have
been using futter hooks to put more
action on the lure.
As for trout, nothing new here.
Popping corks remain the way to go.
Surprisingly, weve had better luck with
mud minnows under corks than with
shrimp. It usually has been the other way
around. If little fsh keep stealing your
live shrimp, switch over to a D.O.A. 3
artifcial shrimp. Teir Glow/Gold Rush
Belly color has been quite efective.
Coinciding with early morning fshing,
Spanish Mackerel have been showing up
in numbers in the harbor as well as inlets.
Gotcha plugs and Deadly Dick lures
are traditional favorites. Anglers have
reported that these fsh have been fnicky
recently. Keep changing lures until you
fnd something that works.
Shrimp have started to really show
up and their presence has made for some
great fy fshing. On the fats at low tide,
you can see redfsh with their backs
out of water charging down the banks
chasing shrimp. Trowing gurglers or
other surface patterns can provide some
explosive strikes. It can be so hard to do,
but when that fsh slams your fy, set the
hook with a strip set instead of lifting
your rod tip.
See you on the water!
Capt. Geof Bennett operates Charleston
Charter Fishing providing fy fshing and
light tackle charters. Clients choose from
a full menu of fy rods, artifcial and
live bait fshing options with charters
tailored to their desires. USCG licensed
and insured, Capt. Bennett is committed
to providing a safe and enjoyable charter
to anglers of all skill levels and ages. For
more information, call Capt. Bennett at
843-324-3332, visit his website at www.
charlestoncharterfshing.com or email him
at captain@charlestoncharterfshing.com.
August Fi shi ng Repor t
By Captain Geoff Bennett, Charleston Charter fishinG
Folly Current Calendar
August 19 - September 2
Friday, august 19
Movies at the Beach
Featuring Yogi Bear (rated PG; 82 min) Beat
the heat with popcorn and Kool-aid! 4 p.m.
saturday, august 20
Folly Pier Fishing Tournament
Come join in for great fshing at the Folly Beach
Fishing Pier, the second largest pier on the East
Coast! New this season: online registration
is available, but will end August 18. On-site
registration is available August 20 beginning
at 6:00 a.m. Tournament begins at 6 a.m. and
ends at 4:00 p.m. and prizes are awarded at 4:15.
Prizes are awarded for the largest catch in the
King Mackerel category and the three largest
catches in the Big Fish category. For details, call
the Folly Beach Fishing Pier at (843) 588-3474.
Ages 3 & up. An adult chaperone is required
for participants ages 15 and under. Tournament
held rain or shine. Fee: $12/$9 CCR Discount
and $7 ages 3-12 CCR & NCR; $14/$12 CCR
Discount (King Mackerel)
Reggae Concert Series: Jah Works
James Island County Park comes alive with the
sounds of the islands! Enjoy traditional roots
reggae with a new school attitude in a beautiful
outdoor setting. Bring a chair or blanket and
rock the night away to live music by Jah Works!
Food, beverages, and souvenirs will be available
for purchase. Outside alcohol and coolers are
prohibited. No advance tickets will be sold.
Gates open at 7:30 p.m.; music begins at 8:30
p.mand ends at 11 pm. Fee: $8 or 5 Greenbax/
Free: Gold Pass Holders & ages 12 & under
sunday, august 21
Sea Kayak Instructional Classes: ACA
Introduction to Kayaking - Level 1
Let our ACA-certifed instructors help you
learn a new skill comfortably and enjoyably.
Using a variety of boats, this entry-level course
teaches you basic strokes and skills to have fun
on the water! 1 5 pm, at James Island County
Park. $36/$30 CCR Discount.

Monday, august 22
Storytime at the Folly Beach Library! Join Miss
Donna for some reading fun. 10:30 a.m.
thursday, august 25
Yappy Hour at the Dog Park!
Dog lovers, after a long day at work, pick up
your pooch and join us for Yappy Hour at the
James Island County Park Dog Park from 4
to 7 p.m. with live music by Charleston's own
Unkle Funkle. Beverages will be available for
purchase. Free with $1 park admission. For
more info, call 795-4386 or visit www.ccprc.
com.
After School Adventures: After School Paddle
Come paddle with us after school! Well spend
some time reviewing and learning basic canoe
and kayak strokes; then well play some fun
paddling games! 3:30 6 p.m., at James Island
County Park. Ages 6-12.
Friday, august 26
Movies at the Beach at the Folly Library,
featuring Scooby Doo the Mystery Begins
(rated PG, 82 min) Beat the heat with popcorn
and a cold drink! 4 p.m.
Monday, august 29
Storytime at the Folly Beach Library! Join Miss
Donna for some reading fun. 10:30 a.m.
Friday, septeMber 2
Movies at the Beach at the Folly Library
featuring Lemony Snickets, A Series of
Unfortunate Events (Rated PG, 107 min)
Beat the heat with popcorn and a cold drink!
4 p.m.

Moonlight Mixer
Dance the night away under the stars and in the
ocean breeze at the Folly Beach Fishing Pier.
DJ Jim Bowers of 1340 Te Boardwalk will
play all of the hottest oldies and beach music
classics. Beverages, food, and snacks will be
available for purchase. Tickets are limited, so
advance purchase is recommended. No refunds
or exchanges. Tickets: $10/$8 CCR(Charleston
County Resident) Discount/$10 on-site if still
available. 7-11 p.m.
IllustratIon by joel flores
BOCCE UPDATE: With one week left in the
bocce season before the fnal tournament, its still
a ferce competition at the top. Come watch the
action on Tuesday evenings on the beach beside
the pier. Scores on following page.
Rank Team Name Wins Losses total played
1 Balls to the Vol 29 7 36
2 Bocce Bros 28 8 36
3 Balls On Te Edge 26 10 36
4 Coach & K - Dog 22 14 36
5 107mm Sag 21 15 36
6 Bocce & Bullwinkle 21 15 36
7 Bocce said she was 18 ofcer 18 12 30
8 Shake that Bocce! 18 18 36
9 Te Good, Te Bad, Te Bocce! 18 18 36
10 Shot Put Flunkies 17 19 36
11 Deboccery 16 8 24
12 Of Reality 16 16 32
13 Drunk Again and Looking to Score! 15 17 32
14 Seal Team 6 12 14 26
15 Bocculism 12 14 26
16 We've got big bocces 12 24 36
17 Phishing for a win! 11 13 24
18 Stop, Drop, & the Rollers 11 13 24
19 Te Big Labocce 11 17 28
20 Old Balls 10 12 22
21 Salty Balls! 10 14 24
22 Loggerhead's Beach Grill 10 20 30
23 Bocce-ka-bow wow 8 14 22
24 Bocce Bulldogs 8 18 26
25 Mr. and Mrs. Newballs 7 3 10
26 I thought I signed up for Mud Wrestling!! 6 12 18
27 Trippin Balls 5 21 26
WWW.FOLLYCURRENT.COM
10 August 19, 2011
SURF/ OP- ED
W
e live in the greatest place on Earth. Folly Beach
is full of friendly, helpful, and conscientious
folks. People say howdy and thank you. On
most weekends, the daytime population swells, and half
of the Lowcountry comes to the only area beach with
good surf.
Folly Beach also has many excellent restaurants and
allows dogs on the beach during certain hours and
alcohol consumption in plastic cups. Recently, several
citizens have requested that City Council repeal the
rights of adults to drink alcohol on the beach. A secret
group that meets on the Internet cites increased beach
trafc, poor behavior in the neighborhood near Tenth
Block East, and litter as reasons to ban alcohol on the
entire beach.
To be fair, the ban would undoubtedly reduce the
number of people visiting the City of Folly Beach and
curb some of the poor behavior of revelers. Of course,
other consequences would likely follow. Any substantial
decrease in tourism would cripple many businesses on
Folly Beach. Most of these shops and restaurants are
locally owned and employ Folly residents. If you are
unwilling to ask your neighbor if his or her business
could survive a 10 to 25 percent reduction in customers,
look to your own line of work. Would you be able to
keep your truck gassed up and your employees working
full-time? Perhaps you are one of the employees who
might be laid of.
Tis is not the time to slow our economy through
legislation. Any reduction in tourism will also cut sales
tax revenues. Much of this revenue is returned to Folly
Beach. Tis money would likely have to be replaced
through property tax increases. Tese tax hikes are
certainly not welcome.
Our Public Safety Department does an excellent job
maintaining order on Folly Beach. As summer crowds
swell, the fne ofcers of this department keep the peace,
enforce existing laws, and make sure that visitors and
locals alike are safe. Public Safety consistently displays
professionalism and common sense while on patrol.
Folly locals are proud of the fact that their police force
hands out trash bags and Solo cups to decrease litter on
the beach.
Enforcing new laws will hurt public perception of the
Department. A ban would require an ofcer to ticket a
father who pops open a beer while watching his kids play
on the beach. Whether it is a disappointed local who has
relaxed on this beach for most of his life or a tourist who
takes his family to a diferent Center Street restaurant
each night of their vacation, this dad must be allowed to
responsibly drink a beer on the beach.
Speaking of locals, what do these folks think? Nearly
everyone I have spoken with declares that enforcement of
existing laws can and will appease the angry residents of
Tenth Block East. Please remember that it is your civic
duty to report vandalism, theft, public urination, etc, if
you witness these crimes on a busy Saturday afternoon,
or at any time. Our Public Safety ofcers do a great job,
but they need the help of vigilant citizens.
Most people I have spoken with do not think an
alcohol ban will make the beach any cleaner. Tis year
Isle of Palms, which does not allow alcohol, won the
dubious distinction of dirtiest beach after the Fourth of
July weekend.
I, for one, believe that a mess of puritanical laws
will follow from the proposed alcohol ban. Sullivans
Island has recently enacted a ban on radios and singing.
Presently, Folly Beach does not allow surfng at the pier
while lifeguards are present and has attempted to ban
surfng at the Washout in the past.
Any proposals for family-friendly beach areas will
likely prohibit surfng. Te idea that a respected surfng,
beach, and conservation advocacy group such as Surfrider
would want to ban alcohol on Folly Beach struck me as
strange. I asked Brian Eichelman, manager of McKevlins
Surf Shop for an opinion. He did not support the ban
and contacted the national leadership for the Surfrider
Foundation. We were unsurprised to learn that they
did not have knowledge of the proposal. It seems that
members of the local chapter are operating well outside
of their mission statement.
Supporting this splinter cells foolish crusade may
change life on Folly Beach in many ways. I, for one, do
not think these changes will be positive.
Spec i al I nt er est Gr oup Seek s Ban On Al c ohol
By Jud Bushkar
Counc i l Member
Laur a Bec k Resi gns
Just before going to print on Monday, the Folly Current received word
that council member Laura Beck resigned, efective immediately on Monday,
August 15.
A special election is required when mayor our council members vacate an
ofce more than 180 days prior to the next municipal general election. Tis
election will occur on Tuesday, November 8.
Filing opens on September 2 at 12 p.m. (noon) and closes on September
12 at 12 p.m.
Candidates have to fle Statement
of Intent of Candidacy no later than
noon, 45 days prior to the election, in
the same manner as during a general
election.
Beck was frst elected to Council in
2006, and has served as the council's
Mayor Pro-Tem. "As my family
embarks on a new chapter in our lives,
I've had to make the difcult decision
to resign myu seat on Council,"
says Beck. "While serving was a
tremendous honor, and I truly enjoyed
every minute working to protect the taxpayers and keep our area strong for
future generations, we also look forward to this new phase as we return to
my hometown of Charleston and the opportunities for a fresh start. I will
always cherish the experience, as well as the friendships I have made. I thank
the citizens of Folly Beach for the opportunity to serve the town for the last
six years. I have worked hard to live up to the trust you have placed in me,
and hope you feel I have served you well and honorably. I would also like to
thank my many friends and supporters for their assistance over the years."
August 19, 2011 11
Vince Perna is a Folly Beach real estate expert who also loves music. If you want to know if
you can live on Folly, you can fnd him at 31 Center Street or by calling 588-3800.
Folly Music scene
Sudoku solution
Solution from page 6
BLU
8/19 - Bill Johnson
8/20 - Ben Fagen & Friends
8/21 - Southwood Duo
8/26 - Soul Fish Duo
8/27 - Larry David project
8/28 - Graham Whorley
Brick House Kitchen
8/27 - Doom of the Gods Fest w/ Skye
Paige, Te Royal Tinfoil, Te 33s,
Torture Town, and more
Drop In Deli
Mondays the Hawkes
Wednesdays Trivia
Folly Beach Brewing Company
8/19 - Mark Jackson
8/26 -Josh Brewer
Folly Beach Crab Shack
Sundays Te Bill Show
Mondays Open Mic w/ Dave
Grunstra
Wednesdays - Jef Houts
Tursdays Island Duo
Fridays Nathan Calhoun
Saturdays Sara Smile
Folly Beach Pier
9/2 - Shaggin on the Pier
Folly Beach Shrimp Co.
Sundays - Blue Patina
Locklears
Mondays - Jef Houts
Tursdays - Folly Beach Bluegrass
Society
Loggerheads
Sundays - Yellowknife 3 pm
Sundays Eric Penrod 6 pm
Sundays - DJ Mike 10 pm
Tuesdays - Ben Fagen & Holy City
Hooligans
Wednesdays Karaoke
8/19 - Te Dubplates
8/20 - Jamisun 5 pm
8/20 - High Tide 10 pm
8/22 - Kevin West
8/25 - Sarah Cole & the Hawkes
8/26 - Top Jimmy
8/27 - Deep Water Soul Society
8/28 - Fowlers Mustache
8/29 - Dan Clamp
9/1 - Bringers of the Dawn
9/2 - Lionz of Zion
9/3 - Stereo Reform
9/3 - Te Shack Band
9/4 - Te Dubplates
9/5 - Jef Houts
9/5 - Rawberry Jam
Planet Follywood
8/19 - Dan Clamp
8/20 - Mike Mixon
8/21 - Jef Wilson
8/25 - Karaoke w/ Margie
8/26 - Kevin Church
8/27 - Eric Penrod
8/28 - Teresa Parrish
Sand Dollar
8/19 & 20 - Johnny Mac & the Booty
Ranch
Snapper Jacks
Tursdays - Kevin West Band
8/19 - DJ Lucas
8/20 - Out to Lunch
8/26 - Selah Dubb
8/27 - Elise & the Freeloaders
9/2 - Sho Nuf
9/3 - Dantes Camaro
9/4 - Louis D project
Surf Bar
Wednesdays -Guilt Ridden Troubadour
Taco Boy
8/20 - Molandro Soul
8/27 - Rawberry Jam
Woodys
Mondays - Live Local music
Tuesdays Jerry Cooper
Tursdays Trivia
(Sometime in the very near future,
Folly Beach, USA. Hey! It could
happen!)
Tat frst beer together; a rite of
passage celebrated by fathers and sons
everywhere.
Well, almost everywhere.
Here we are son. Finally! Folly
Beach!
Dad why couldnt we just talk back at
the rental? Its hot out here.
Well, son, youll be of to college next
year. On your own. Not my little boy
anymore,
Dad? Are you crying?
Crying? No. Dont be silly. I dont
cry. Just a sand fea in my eye, thats all.
Hey! Wanna guess what Ive got in this
knapsack?
An onion?
Again, not crying. No, no you see
this is a very special moment for us. One
shared by fathers and sons through the
course of
Dad? Didnt we have this talk already?
Remember? Dairy Queen? Burger King?
Make a Little Caesar?
No boy, pay attention! Were talking
about a ritual every father and son go
through. Here... hold these?
Whats with the plastic cups..hey?
What was that?
Tat, son, was the opening of our
frst beer together. Bring that cup over
here. Just listen to that will ya? Nothing
sweeter than the pouring of that very frst
father and son beer.
Dad. Is that a tear rolling down
your
Im fne. Im fne. Here, take it.
Heres to you son. May your entrance
into manhood
Hold it right there!
Who are you guys? And why are you
all in bathrobes, slippers and...are those
guacamole facial masks? Its 2 oclock in
the afternoon!
Were the clandestine group
of alcohol avengers better known
as B4aSaferFolly and youre both
about to be put under arrest!
Why? Were just a father and son
trying to share our frst beer together!
We dont care if youre sharing the
last note of the National Anthem butt
naked in the middle of Center Street;
drinking is no longer allowed on the
beach. Te moose out front should
have told you.
A FOLLY BEACH
LAMPOON D VACATI ON
By Joel Flores
OP- ED
Lampoon'd continued on page 12
Date High Tide Low Tide
Storms, hurricanes, etc., are NOT included in the predictions.
Tidal current direction changes and tide time predictions can
be very different. Tide predictions are PREDICTIONS; they
can be wrong so use common sense.
Aug 19
Aug 20
Aug 21
Aug 22
Aug 23
Aug 24
Aug 25
Aug 26
Aug 27
Aug 28
Aug 29
Aug 30
Aug 31
sept 1
12:13am/12:35pm
12:53am/1:19pm
1:37am/2:08pm
2:27am/3:03pm
3:23am/4:01pm
4:22am/4:59pm
5:21am/5:55pm
6:17am/6:48pm
7:12am/7:38pm
8:04am/8:27pm
8:56am/9:15pm
9:47am/10:03pm
10:39am/10:53pm
11:33am/11:44pm
5:56am/6:27pm
6:36am/7:14pm
7:20am/8:07pm
8:11am/9:06pm
9:07am/10:07pm
10:07am/11:05pm
11:06am/11:59pm
12:03pm
12:49am/12:58pm
1:37am/1:51pm
2:24am/2:44pm
3:11am/3:36pm
3:58am/4:29pm
4:46am/5:24pm
Fol l y Beach Ti de Char t
Source: www.saltwatertides.com
Te moose outwhat? where? What
the hell are you talking about?
Well, if you were gonna do a
parody on that Chevy Chase/Anthony
Michael Hall sharing a beer scene
from National Lampoons Vacation
we fgured we could spoof the John
Candy in the amusement park scene.
Now that was funny...but were not
laughing.
Why not?
Because, were the secret
B4aSaferFolly group and we dont
believe in laughing or in good times
in general. Its in our bylaws. No
laughing. No tickling. No Will Ferrell
comedies and no drinking on the
beach. Drinking on the beach just
causes people to do stupid and crazy
things, weve found.
How about people who drink at the
local bars around here? Dont they ever
get rowdy and do crazy things?
Our non-scientifc and very bias
research has found that drinking in
the bars is okay. Weve found that
no one has ever, EVER gone out and
puked in someones yard or urinated
in their trash receptacle after leaving
the bars around her. Not ever!
What?! Tats just ridiculous. Look,
this is a genuine moment here. We came
all the way down from Ohio for this! To
share that frst beer with my one and
only child.
Uh, Dad. You have two...
Shut up, Rusty. To think that of all
the places we couldve picked to share
this special moment, my son, my one and
only legitimate son picked Folly Beach.
Remember Rusty? When I asked you if
you could pick any place in the world to
share a very special moment with your
dear old man? What did you say?
Hawaii, Dad?
Folly Beach, Dad, Folly Beach.
And now you guys are saying we cant?
Because of some asinine bylaw that
makes it illegal to drink on the beach?
Are you joking?
We dont joke, sir. Again, were
the covert B4aSaferFolly. Te point is;
drinking is now illegal on the beach
and therefore you and your son will
both be given a citation so ridiculous
that itll make your head swim and
convince you to never, ever come back
to Folly Beach. Ever.
But why?
Because it totally goes against our
personal agenda of what we believe
has to be done for a safer Folly Beach.
B4aSaferFolly? Hellloooo!
Exactly what kind of an agenda are
we talking about?
To one day become a successful
and snobbish retirement community.
No more surfers or bar-fys. Were
talking the return of silent bingo and
lots and lots of rich old people walking
their little tiny dogs.
Tats not an agenda, thats the
blueprint for a very successful retirement
resort.
Flattery will get you nowhere, sir.
Now look! Teres no drinking on the
beach and you and your son will just
have to pay the price for doing so!
But what about all those couples who
come here to celebrate their wedding
anniversaries? To slip out and take a
romantic walk along the surf while sipping
from a plastic glass of wine? Or the spring
breakers celebrating that all too brief
moment between youthful exhilaration
and the drudgery of adulthood? And
what of the many couples who come to
this beach to exchange their vows? How
are they expected to share a toast to a
new and wonderful beginning? What are
you going to do to replace all that money
that type of patronage brings in?
What? Were you not listening sir?
I do believe we mentioned the return
of Silent Bingo, duh!
Tis is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy...
See? Even though were the
underwhelming minority, we have
found that by simply pouting and
complaining louder than anyone else
we can pretty much get whatever we
want. So, were going to continue and
force the rest of our agenda on this
unruly, wicked, naughty, naughty
beach town of ours. An agenda that
includes no loud noises, no live music,
no singing, no burping, no pushing,
no whistling while you work or at any
other time for that matter, no shouting
or yelling
But this is the South! Its football
season! Teres gonna be yelling!
..no interrupting, no running,
no skateboards, no beach cruisers,
no hippie music and fnally no dogs
bigger than a shoe box.
You forgot no smoking.
Annnndno smoking! Will
someone please call Public Safety. Tell
em we got us a multiple violations
here and theyd better bring some
back-up.
No beer on the beach? No burping?
No Will Ferrell comedies? Where are
we? Te Isle of Palms? Sullivans Island?
Utah?
Some people just dont know
when to shut up! Anyone bring their
tasers?
Sorry. We found that the loud,
yet very brief static noise produced by
utilizing our tasers was in violation of
our very own noise ordinance. Cant
we just take turns belittling them while
explaining the errors of their ways to
them?
No. Well just get guacamole all
over ourselves. Everyone just fing
your tasers at them really, really hard!
NOW!
Ow! Stop it! Stop! You guys are nuts!
Come on Dad! Lets get out of here!
Tese people are lunatics! We can always
share our frst beer somewhere else! A strip
club back home in Ohio maybe. Or a
Chuck E. Cheese in Texas? What dya say
Dad? What dya say?
Now now I am crying, son.
Lampoon'd continued from page 11
August 19, 2011 13
Uhhh Ar e We Dat i ng?
By Fay a.
Dat i ng Fol l i es
O
n a recent night while working
behind the bar, I overheard some
conversations that convinced me
it was time to write this column.
Let me set the scene: A girl and guy
walk into the bar together, have a seat,
order drinks, firt, giggle, the normal. Its
not crowded by any means, but there are
people around, and this pair is social so
they quickly strike up a conversation with
their neighbors. After some time passes,
the guys hop up, one to hit the restroom
and the other to smoke a cigarette; of
course, as soon as this happens, the ladies
get to talking about the men.
Te question comes up, How long
have you two been dating? Girl answers,
Well its still pretty new, but about a
month now. None of the rest is relevant
but they yada yada for a few more minutes
until the men return. A bit later, now that
the chicks are new best friends, they hop
up to hit the ladies room and continue to
talk about the boys; which in turn leaves
the men all alone at the bar.
Here is where we come to the point.
Te guy is then asked the exact same
question, How long have you two been
dating? To which, his response is,
Ohhhh nooo, we arent dating, shes
just a friend, nothing more. Im almost
certain that hearing that would not only
have burst her bubble and ruined the rest
of her night, but chances are it would have
really hurt her feelings also. So this week,
we are going to pose the question, How
do you know if you are dating?
I cant imagine that it was always so
tricky in the world of love and romance,
but nowadays there seems to be a lot of
confusion surrounding dating. In theory,
it seems like such an easy concept, yet
when it is applied to peoples real lives the
rules become fuzzy. Not only are people
left confused, they are often put in rather
vulnerable positions also. When I frst
began to ponder this, I assumed that the
diferent views would be very cut and dry
between men and women, and I was quite
surprised to fnd that my hypothesis was
far from the truth. Of course, there are
the stereotypical sides to every story, but
what I found to be one of the biggest lines
in the sand came from a diference in age.
Dating in the traditional sense, for
most, implies the stuf you used to see in
80s movies or on television from the 60s
or 70s. Guy asks out girl, guy shows up
with fowers, dinner, talking, guy walks
girl to door, and maybe if the date went
well there is a goodnight kiss. Tere are so
many parts of this story that dont happen
anymore, that its no wonder no one has
any idea whether or not they are dating.
Tese days the norm is for two people to
mutually agree to get together and hang
out. And now that everyone has been
liberated and sexually awakened, women
are much more likely to meet you there,
pay their share, and expect more than a
peck on the cheek at the end.
So how do you know when you are
dating? Society has evolved so much in
the past decade, with all of the cell phones
and Internet relationships, that now it
seems the meaning of dating has gotten
lost in the mix. When I originally began
thinking about this article, I spent about
a week surveying others to fnd out what
they thought. I asked one simple open-
ended question: How do you know when
you are dating?
I received quite a wide variety of
responses, grouped the good ones into a few
basic categories, and now I will share the
most common answers. Around 10% of
people believe that dating is automatically
implied after two people have gone out
between three and fve times romantically.
Somewhere around 30% of people said
that dating came after seeing someone.
To clear up the terminology there, you can
see multiple people at one time, sort of
like trying them on to fnd the one that
fts best, but dating implies exclusivity.
So once all of your romantic gestures and
outings are with the same someone, you
are then dating.
Finally, about 40% of those asked say
that two people can only be dating once
they have actually had that conversation
and jointly come to the conclusion that
they would move into that step of their
relationship. All very diferent approaches
its no wonder everyone is so lost.
Im not here to tell anyone what to
do or how to interact with the special
someone that they fancy, but I will say that
it is better to be clear. Open and honest
communication is the basis of any good
relationship, be it with family, friends, and
especially with someone you are involved
with romantically. I think those who fell
in the last 40% were probably the people
with the best chance of seeing their love
lives blossom healthily.
If nothing else, it is hands down the best
way to save yourself the embarrassment
and hurt feelings of fnding out that what
you thought was happening is not at all
what is really going on.
WWW.FOLLYCURRENT.COM
14 August 19, 2011
Brought to you by Woodys Pizza and
Mary Ohl.
PHOTO BY MarY OHl
The Lucky Dog cLub
is sponsoreD by LosT Dog cafe
If you have a Lucky Dog please send their information and picture to:

richard@luckydognews.com
Do you recognize this image? It was taken somewhere on Folly Beach. If you
know what it is, let us know at wtf@luckydognews.com and you could win a free
medium, one-topping pizza from Woodys! Congratulations to James Glass, who
correctly identifed the last WTF - the shark on Center St. Also congrats to Jaryd
Abess, the frst to correctly guess the 'Wich Doctor logo (our 'wtf' email was down
last month, but it's up and running again. Keep guessing!)
Name: Otto
Likes: Visitors who forget to shut the
front door. Strong cofee. Sea foam
and rolling dunes. Inches upon inches
of snow and, overall, inclement weather.
Used diapers (what a great fnd that
evening). Cloudy days, rainy days,
sunny days -- any day Mother Nature throws my way. Cute little blond-
haired girls named Samantha Taylor Crawford.

Dislikes: Closed doors. Hardwood and tile foors (I slip too much). Cuddling
and, in general, unrestrained afection and neediness! Te I.D. chip hidden
somewhere inside of me.
Crabs, due to a recent scufe.

Why Im a Lucky Dog:
I was liberated from the
cold, grey confnes of an
animal shelter two years ago
(Oct. 1) by Sam and Jake
in landlocked Pennsylvania,
and now I can smell the ocean
every time I walk, or escape,
out the front door. While
I was indeed rescued, Im
beginning to discover Im just
as much of a linchpin in the
lives of those two.
A
nother fre at Bowens, this time
at a home and possibly caused by
dryer lint. Did you ever think
lint was dangerous? It is.
Remember these tips: Carry only
change and credit cards, as these
do not cause lint. Do not wear
underwear, especially if its Angora
or Cashmere, which are much more
volatile. Pressure wash your belly button
(unless you have an outie). Always get
your mother to do your laundry. Do not
buy a policy from a company called Joes
Insurance and Grill.
Remember, you must use a dryer in
most neighborhoods because clotheslines
are considered unsightly, except in
Brooklyn where it is a sign that you
actually wash your clothes now and
again.
Seriously though, this was a tragedy
that claimed a family dog and countless
irreplaceable memorabilia and keepsakes.
It is sad and it can happen to anybody.
Be careful.
I hate to say this, but it is true that
I ran outside when I smelled the smoke,
called 911, and after twelve solid rings,
they did not answer! I hung up because
I remembered that Folly Beach Public
Safetys number is 588-2433, and so I
called that number. It rang ten times and
then I hung up. I saw other people on
cell phones out there and I suppose many
people were calling in, but my question is
this: How did they know it was the same
emergency? Shouldnt there be someone
answering these numbers at all times?
Its not like the dispatcher throws their
jacket on and goes out to answer the call.
911 and then Folly Public Safety, one
after the other.
Phone records will bear out these
facts I state to you now. Te frefghters
certainly did their jobs and put out the
fre. Tat house was absolutely raging
and it sure seemed like there was no
stopping it, but stop it they did, saving
probably more than half of it. Te thing
that is troubling is that you really dont
want to have an emergency while another
is going on. I guess that we, the public,
should learn to stagger our emergencies.
Or, put in one more phone line and tell
the dispatcher not to assume anything.
Tat chapped my bellybutton.
On a happier note, Momma and the
Redemption Band plays on the Bowens
dock on Sunday, September 4th, Labor
Day weekend from 4-8pm. It will be ten
bucks to get in and there will be some
special guests including myself, but I
promise to only play one or two songs! I
will get Juke Joint Johnny to be a guest
so you can hear a real harmonica player.
If someone reads this that knows Jeannie
Wiggins, please get her to call me at
300-5411 cause I want to get her to play
at Bowens. Cary Ann Hearst wants to
play there too and wouldnt that be a
great bill? I think so, but I lost the napkin
with Jeannies number on it. Tats me,
professional all the way!
We were going to have Te Hungry
Monks on August 28th but this has been
canceled due to Gillian Welch playing
at the Charleston Music Hall the same
evening. Youll be wanting to attend
that one if you like songwriters and a
beautiful voice.
The Wor d f r om Bow ens I sl and
By Smoky Weiner
OP- ED
photo by stratton lawrence
Bowens Island owner Robert Barber's house caught fre on August 3.
16 August 19, 2011
A
lone on the boat at Morris Island, I peered into
the makeshift 5-gallon bucket aquarium. Tere I
found a hermit crab, spilling out of its undersized
mobile home, a moon snail shell.
A month later, driving down I-95 to Aunt Aidas surprise
birthday party in Auburndale, Florida, I remembered that
hermit crab in the bucket.
It was 1967. My mother cobbled together a family
summer trip from Fresno, California, to Greenwood,
Florida, her childhood home. Five kids, age 3 to 13, and a
single mother, traveled by train across the country to New
Orleans. For three days, I lived in perpetual wonderment.
I explored the entire train from one end to the other. I
viewed mountains from the dome car, ate exotic train food
in the diner car, and met all sorts of new people. On my
8th birthday, I looked out the window to see my name
on the water tower as we passed through Anton, Texas.
Mom rented a car in New Orleans and drove us to Mobile.
Tere, moms brother, George, met us and drove through
the night the fnal four hours to the one-stoplight town of
Greenwood, Florida.
Greenwood represents one of several small towns dotting
the Florida panhandle. Two Egg lies two miles south,
Marianna eight miles west, and Bascom and Malone fve
miles approximately east. From Uncle Georges car window,
the sun cast its frst light on an exotic new landscape. An
unfamiliar musty dampness flled my nostrils. Unlike the
dry San Joaquin Valley, lush greenery crowded both sides
of the rural highway. We passed sinkholes, springs, and
small swampy rivers.
Uncle George pulled into the driveway in the early
morning twilight. Here, I frst saw my mothers childhood
home, a somewhat run-down, two-story, antebellum
tin-roof farmhouse, surrounded by huge oaks and pecan
trees. Uncle Charles, shirtless, met us from a back room
as we entered the house. Tirty minutes later, I found
myself on a side porch, shirtless as well, shelling feld peas
and butter beans with cousins Id never met. Shirtless I
remained the rest of the summer.
Later that summer, we visited Aunt Aida and Dean,
and my cousins Jef and Laurie in St Petersburg. While
there, I learned about salty gulf water, stinging eyes, and
new pets like hermit crabs. Hermit crabs dont do well
away from the ocean. My new pet crab made the trip back
to Greenwood, but gave up the ghost a few days later.
Arriving back to the boat from the beach on Morris
Island, my 6 and 8 year-old guests promptly checked on
their hermit crab pet in the bucket. Remembering my
childhood experience, I suggested we let it go, back into
the salt marsh to rejoin friends. On the way to the marina,
we made a special side trip into Mud Bar Creek and set the
crab free. With any luck, our new pet has now up-sized
to a conch shell.
Captain Anton DuMars, a coastal geologist and 30-year
Folly Beach resident, owns and operates Tideline Tours, LLC.
To contact Anton, please call or text 813-2497 or visit http://
tidelinetours.com.

Salt marSh di ari eS
Sal t y, Sout her n Root s
By Anton DumArs
A young Captain Anton around
the time of his familys visit to
North Florida.