CICIWritingUnit

Grade9Semester1

SkillFocus

BeginningArgumentation Howtoconstructanargumentativethesisstatement Howtodevelopanintroductoryparagraph

CRSAlignment

English&Reading=2023Writing=910 Belief&Morality Justice,Fairness,andRetribution ReligiousLibertyvs.IntellectualLiberty CindyCarro,WHS(cynthia.carro@d214.org)

Topic/FreedomBox

Createdby

Beginning Argumentation
Writing: Look Back: MEL-Con, Look Ahead: 910 Frosh Unit: Beliefs, Justice

Introduction: :
Americans pride themselves on creating a nation where people of all different opinions and beliefs can live peacefully together. However, the laws and policies Americans create often reflect the morals and value systems of one set of people at the expense of another. We saw this conflict as we read Inherit the Wind when Henry Drummond and Bert Cates challenged the Butler Act, which forbade teachers in Tennessee from teaching that human beings were descended from lower life forms. Listed below are a number of recent laws, policies, or legal decisions that reflect a continuous conflict in values among Americans. Recently, a federal district court declared that the congressionally mandated National Day of Prayer was unconstitutional because it violated the separation of church and state. Congress created The National Day of Prayer over fifty years ago. Judge Barbara Crabb declared in April of 2010 that this day was unconstitutional because it implied that the American government was encouraging prayer, a matter that must be left to individual conscience. Many Americans were deeply disturbed by this decision, which they felt contradicted traditional American values. Recently, the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that a school district in Washington State was within its rights to keep student Kathryn Nurre from playing the Ave Maria during graduation. The school said that the musical pieces at graduation had to be secular. Nurre believed that her constitutional right to free speech was violated. For many years, the United States Military has followed a policy referred to as Dont Ask; Dont Tell. This policy forbids any military person from disclosing a homosexual sexual orientation, and it also forbids military personnel from asking about a soldiers sexual orientation. The policy was created because the military believed that homosexuality would, create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability. In May of 2010, the United States House of Representatives approved an amendment that would repeal this policy. Opponents of the policy feel that it violates the right to free speech of gay and lesbian soldiers.

Frosh Writing Unit 2 -- Beginning Argumentation 2

Assignment: :
Choose one of the following prompts. Prompt 1 In April 2009 at a press conference in Turkey, President Barack Obama casually rebuked the stale saying that the United States is a Judeo-Christian nation. One of the great strengths of the United States is although as I mentioned, we have a very large Christian population -- we do not consider ourselves a Christian nation or a Jewish nation or a Muslim nation. We consider ourselves a nation of citizens who are bound by ideals and a set of values. Think about the implications of Obamas view of our nations ideals and values in regards to laws, policies, and/or legal decisions. Then write a five-paragraph essay that defends, challenges, or qualifies Obamas claim. Use specific, appropriate evidence to develop your position.

OR

Prompt 2 The Reverend Jim Wallis is an evangelical Christian writer and political activist, best known as the founder and editor of Sojourners magazine, and of the Washington D.C.-based Christian community of the same name. He once said, I think it's a good thing for a president or political leaders to want to put their values or their faith into action. Desmond Tutu did that in South Africa. Martin Luther King Jr. did that here. This is a good thing. Think about the implications of Wallis view that political leaders values or faith should influence policy, laws, or legal decisions. Write a five-paragraph essay that defends, challenges, or qualifies Jim Wallis claim. Use specific, appropriate evidence to develop your position.

Frosh Writing Unit 2 -- Beginning Argumentation 3

Writing Instruction & Practice Exercises: :

STEP 1: Creating a Thesis Statement
A thesis is an assertion about your topic, something you claim to be true. It declares what you believe and that you intend to prove. Notice that a topic alone makes no such claim: it merely defines an area to be covered. The topic is seldom stated as a complete sentence with a subject and predicate. To make your topic into a thesis statement, you need to make a claim about it. Look back over your materialsclass readings, the prompt, free writes, research notesand think about what you believe to be true. Think about what your readers want or need to know. Then write a sentence, preferably at this point, a simple one, stating what will be the controlling idea of your paper. The result should look something like this: Original Subject: an important issue Focused Topic: drug education in high school Thesis: Drug education deserves a more prominent place in high schools health and physical education programs. Or if your investigations led you to a different belief (It's always good to have a thesis you can believe in.): Thesis: Students at this high school receive a solid background in drug education. Notice, though, that a sentence stating an obvious and indisputable truth won't work as a thesis: Thesis: This high school covers drug education in health class. That's a complete sentence, and it asserts something to be true, but as a thesis, it's a dead end. It's a statement of fact pure and simple and requires little or nothing added. A good thesis asks to have more said about it. It demands some proof. Your job is to show your reader that your thesis is true, so that in end, the reader will say, "Ah yes, now that it's been explained, I can see that high schools really arent doing enough with drug education."
(Adapted from Guilford, C. Paradigm Online Writing Assistant. July 2010. http://www.technorhetoric.net/3.1/news/paradigm/thesfrms.htm)

A good thesis sentence has the following characteristics: 1. It's a complete sentence (not "why boys are smarter than girls", but "boys are smarter than girls"). 2. It's general enough to include all the specific details in the essay. 3. It indicates the writer's opinion - his point of view or attitude toward the subject. In other words, a good thesis is arguable or controversial. Hence, "flowers are pretty" is not as good a thesis as "flowers are more useful to science than most people realize." Exercise 1. For each pair given below, circle the letter preceding the statement that is the better thesis. Keep in mind the requirements listed above.
1 A Hip hop is the best thing that has happened to music in thirty years. Through many people discuss hip hop as offensive, hip hop music offers urban youth an important B opportunity for artistic expression and allows them to articulate the poetry of the street. Despite their high-tech special effects, todays graphically violent horror movies do not convey the 2 A creative use of cinematography or the emotional impact that we saw in the classic horror films of the 1940s and 50s.
Frosh Writing Unit 2 -- Beginning Argumentation 4

B 3 A B 4 A B 5 A B 6 A B 7 A B 8 A B 9 A B 10 A B

Many people object to todays violent horror movies. The tricks used by advertisers to lure the public include logical fallacies and flat-out lies. Advertisers use many tricks to get the public to buy their products. Despite the grumbling of most students, homework is an important part of the learning process. Homework should be eliminated. The pro's and con's of capital punishment are continually debated. Capital punishment should be abolished. Our American family structure encourages men to repress their true feelings, leaving them open to physical, psychological, and relationship difficulties. Men are often stereotyped as chauvinists. A workable definition of independence is needed. What do we mean by independence? Fast food restaurants sacrifice individuality for efficiency. Fast food restaurants arent unique. A small group of thoughtless fans is putting the schools whole basketball program in jeopardy. Some people ruin things for all people. The United States Post Office should be sold to a private corporation. Increasing the efficiency of the United States Post Office by selling it to a private corporation.

Now, look through this list of common mistakes made when writing thesis statements. 1. The thesis statement consists of an empty observation, rather than making an assertion.
o o

INSTEAD OF: Industrial emissions contribute to global warming. WRITE: Of all the factors that contribute to global warming, industrial emissions are considered the most significant, and national governments should be forced to regulate their carbon-dioxide levels by means of multilateral treaties.

2. The thesis statement is underdeveloped and vague, and needs to be made more specific and narrow.
o o

INSTEAD OF: The enlargement of the European Union (EU) has led to considerable debate. WRITE: The expansion of the EU to include 10 new member states has sparked considerable debate concerning the issues of subsidies, constitutional unity and the limits of integration. INSTEAD OF: There have been many cases of human rights violations in the recent past. WRITE: Recent developments in Western, democratic societies such as anti-terrorism legislation, which allows imprisonment without trial, have highlighted to human rights activists that, even here, their work is far from complete.

3. The thesis statement exceeds the scope of the essay, i.e., is too broad to be discussed thoroughly.
o o

4. The thesis statement is too detailed or wordy. The arguments should be summarized in the introduction and developed in subsequent paragraphs.
o

INSTEAD OF: Communication is the most important aspect of language learning, as learners only learn to use expressions and grammatical constructions correctly when they communicate and use these constructions actively. A practical understanding of a wide range of expression can only be attained by means of communication, never by methodically learning of grammar. WRITE: Recent studies show that, whilst grammar should not be neglected in a foreign language syllabus, it plays a far less significant role in developing the language skills of the average learner than active communication.

5. The thesis statement introduces several unrelated points, rather than the main points of the
Frosh Writing Unit 2 -- Beginning Argumentation 5

argument.
o

INSTEAD OF: With societies becoming increasingly diverse, the question of how to integrate immigrant populations is becoming increasingly urgent, and we are also being confronted with an increasing number of different cultures and lifestyles. WRITE: With societies becoming increasingly diverse, questions concerning integration and assimilation, and the extent to which the culture of the host country should take precedence over that of the immigrant, are provoking increasing debate.

Exercise 2. Now rewrite each of the thesis statements below, turning each into an effective thesis statement for a 2-3 page essay. You must think carefully about what would be an appropriate topic for an essay of this length - be careful not to choose a topic that is either too broad or too narrow. Example: Technology helps education. Revision: Using computers in high school classrooms promises to improve informational literacy, word processing and computing skills, and analytical thinking. 1. Choosing a career is very difficult. _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 2. It is important to visit foreign countries. _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 3. Parents make a lot of mistakes. _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 4. Humans are inflicting more and more damage on the environment. _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 5. Censorship can be justified. _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ In traditional essays, a thesis statement is typically located at the end of your opening paragraph. (The opening paragraph serves to set the context for the thesis.)

Other considerations for a good thesis:

It clearly asserts your own conclusion based on evidence. Note: Be flexible. The evidence may lead
Frosh Writing Unit 2 -- Beginning Argumentation 6

you to a conclusion you didn't think you'd reach. It is perfectly okay to change your thesis! It avoids vague language (like "it seems"). It avoids the first person. ("I believe," "In my opinion") It should pass the So what? or Who cares? test (Would your most honest friend ask why he should care or respond with "but everyone knows that"?) For instance, "people should avoid driving under the influence of alcohol," would be unlikely to evoke any opposition.

How do you know if you've got a solid tentative thesis?

Try these five tests: Does the thesis inspire a reasonable reader to ask, "How?" or Why?" Would a reasonable reader NOT respond with "Duh!" or "So what?" or "Gee, no kidding!" or "Who cares?" Does the thesis avoid general phrasing and/or sweeping words such as "all" or "none" or "every"? Does the thesis lead the reader toward the topic sentences (the subtopics needed to prove the thesis)? Can the thesis be adequately developed in the required length of the paper or project? If you cannot answer "YES" to these questions, what changes must you make in order for your thesis to pass these tests?

Sample Thesis Statements

1. 2. Often dismissed because it is animated, The Simpsons treats the issue of ethnicity more powerfully than did the critically praised All In The Family. Although many parents of teens struggling with body image may blame television models and other such stars, these body issues and their disorders stem back to their daughters' younger days of pigtails and Barbies. Despite their high-tech special effects, today's graphically violent horror movies do not convey the creative use of cinematography or the emotional impact that we saw in the classic horror films of the 1940s and 50s.

3.

Thesis Pre-Writing Strategy: :

Use the following steps to write your thesis statement to the assignments prompt:

Example of brainstorming a thesis:

1. Select a subject: television 2. Narrow the subject into a focused topic: television violence and children 3. Ask an interesting question: What are the effects of television violence on children? 4. Revise the question into a thesis: Violence on television increases aggressive behavior in preschool children. 5. Remember this argument is your preliminary or working thesis. As you write/read more information you may discover evidence that may affect your stance. It is okay to revise your thesis!

THESIS BRAINSTORMING: STARR method

Frosh Writing Unit 2 -- Beginning Argumentation 7

1 2

Subject
Focused

Topic

Ask an interesting question Revise question into a working thesis

Feedback and suggestions from peer/ teacher/ parent reviewer #1

Feedback and suggestions from peer/ teacher/ parent reviewer #2

Revised thesis

*Remember: You can continue changing your thesis statement as you write your paper.

_________________________________________________________________________
Frosh Writing Unit 2 -- Beginning Argumentation 8

STEP 2: Building Better Introductions

The introduction is a special-purpose paragraph that orients your reader to the topic and tells him what you are trying to prove. It is important to write an introductory paragraph that convinces the reader that the essay will be worth reading. It should attract the readers attention through an attention grabber or hook and lead him into the essay. It often defines important terms, gives necessary background information or context, and previews the main points of the essay. And, of course, it always contains that thesis sentencethe statement of what it is the essay will attempt to prove. Why bother writing a good introduction? You never get a second chance to make a first impression. Your introduction is an important road map for the rest of your paper. Ideally, your introduction will make your readers want to read your paper. In this lesson we will look at several useful forms of the introduction.

Funnel Introduction: This is one of the simplest introductions, so named because it begins with a very
broad general idea and continues with more and more specific ideas until it arrives at the thesis sentence the most specific idea in the introductory paragraph. The example of the funnel introduction, set up in the shape of an upside-down triangle to illustrate how it moves from the most general, through succeedingly more specific ideas, to a statement of the thesis. Notice how this introductory paragraph starts with a very general idea Then it moves to a more specific aspect of that idea. The next idea is still more specific. The final statement is the thesis and is the most specific sentence in the paragraph. The life of a teenager in modern America is not always pleasant. his conflicts and problems. Most of these problems center around school. The primary problem created by school is the intense pressure for good grades.

The life of a teenager in modern America is not always pleasant. He is faced with a multitude of conflicts and problems, many of which seem almost impossible to overcome. Most of these problems center around school, not at all surprising considering that the teenager devotes an average of eight hours a day to school and school-related activities. The primary problem created by school is the intense pressure for good grades.

NOTE: Though funnel introductions might show up in a professional writers early drafts, it is very unusual to see any non-student writing that uses this kind of introduction. Funnels can be broad, inviting a rambling off into generalizations. However, this can be a good first step in writing an introduction if you have a mental block. Which of the following funnel introductions is better? A. Only a few politicians have taken a craftsmans pride in self-expression, and even fewer including
Frosh Writing Unit 2 -- Beginning Argumentation 9

Caesar, Lord Clarendon, Winston Churchill, and De Gaulle have been equally successful in politics and authorship. Of these, Churchill may be the most interesting, for he was not only among the most voluminous of writers, but also commented freely on the art of writing. He was in fact a writer before becoming a politician. B. By the end of this paragraph, we know the topic will be Churchills writing, but we arrive at the knowledge by sliding down the funnel. Those politicians who took pride in self-expression, those who were equally successful in politics and authorship, the most interesting of these: Churchill. Churchill was a writer.

Exercise A. Try writing a funnel introduction to the essay prompt above. Start with the most general idea you can think of that is related to your thesis. Get progressively more specific (at least two more steps) until you arrive at the thesis.

Contrast Introduction. This is another type of introduction that is easy to write and is especially
appropriate when your thesis contradicts or modifies a commonly held belief or assumption. For example, if your thesis sentence is, "It is more difficult to learn to ski than most people realize," you could write an introduction such as this:
Most people assume that learning to ski is not extremely difficult. They imagine the process consists of little more than strapping on two long boards and pushing off at the top of a hill Learning to ski is more difficult than these people realize, and it requires long hours of practice, extremely good physical condition, and a lot of determination.

Notice that the contrast introduction starts off with a discussion of some commonly held belief or assumption. This assumption is explained in detail and then the thesis, the opposite of this assumption, is presented at the end of the introduction. Here are two more examples of contrast introductions:
One hundred years ago Americans sought inner peace through the Bible, philosophy, or rugged individualism. Today we have the added options of psychotherapy, computerized astrology, macrobiotic diets, imported Eastern mysticism, encounter groups, scientology, Dale Carnegie courses, and scores of freaky psychologies. However, even with all these promises of instant nourishment, modern Americans are spiritually underfed. To a great many adults, a teenager is typically a shiftless, lazy, irresponsible kid, who cares about nothing but his own selfish interest and who never gets his hair cut or takes a bath. These adults see the average young person as a spoiled brat who resents authority and stays out late at night drag racing. However, these adults are badly mistaken. The typical teenager is not only intelligent and enthusiastic, but he also has a keen sense of responsibility and eagerness to help others. (Thesis statement is underlined.)

Frosh Writing Unit 2 -- Beginning Argumentation 10

Exercise B. Write a contrast introduction similar to the examples given above. First ask yourself what commonly held belief or idea your thesis contradicts. Start your introduction with a presentation of this assumption, explain it in some detail (a couple of sentences), and then, after a signal of contradiction (however, on the other hand, but), present your thesis. Write your introduction.

(The above explanations and examples were adapted from http://msaenglish.pbworks.com/40%20Building%20Better %20Introductions)

Anecdotal/Scenario Introduction. Another type of introduction is one that tells a brief story in order
to introduce the thesis. For example, if you were writing a paper arguing that fighting global warming is essential to preserve the global economy, you might begin the paper by telling a story about a farmer in Australia who went bankrupt last year as a result of a drought that scientists believe was caused by global warming. If you were writing a paper about the importance of education in ending the poverty cycle, you might tell a story about a girl who escaped her poor neighborhood by studying hard and getting into college.
A young man named Darryl Stingley is laying in an Oakland, Calif., hospital bed, paralyzed from the neck down. At 26, Stingley was a pass receiver making a good living in football until a few weeks ago. Then, during an exhibition game between the New England Patriots and the Oakland Raiders, Stingley ran a slant pattern into the middle of the Raider secondary. As the pass arrived, so did safety Jack Tatum. Stingley lowered his head to meet the blow. Tatum delivered a clean and stinging hit, the kind that coaches usually like to see on the game films. It broke Darryl Stingleys neck. In honor of Stingley and other victims, therefore, the NFL should take action this season.

If you are finding/using a real life story / news story, here are some tips: (1) make sure the story relates to your topic; (2) use stories from the news, TV, magazines, research, etc.; (3) read the narrative or story and use a summary of it for your introduction; (4) use actual names and places and dates; (5) and remember to cite your source(s). If you are creating a story, here are some tips: (1) create a possible (and plausible) scenario or story with people/characters; (2) describe what happened or can happen to your character(s); (3) relate the story you create to your topic; and (4) admit in your introduction that your situation is hypothetical/made-up. If you are using a personal experience, here are some tips: (1) tell about an experience in your own life that relates to the topic or tell a story about someone you know (friend, relative, etc.) who had an experience that relates to the topic and (2) give an honest account of what happened and use I.
Frosh Writing Unit 2 -- Beginning Argumentation 11

Exercise C. Try writing an anecdotal/scenario introduction to the essay prompt above. Start with a story you can think of that is related to your topic / thesis, and then, transition the story into a few sentences of contextpapers topic or focus. Get progressively more specific (at least two more steps) until you arrive at the thesis.

Exercise D. In each of the introductory paragraphs below, underline the thesis sentence.
Then indicate in the blank which construction (funnel, contrast, or anecdote) was used. Finally, number the factors in the preview of main supporting points. Source:
http://msaenglish.pbworks.com/40%20Building%20Better%20Introductions

TYPE OF INTRODUCTION Many parents complain that their teenagers do not come to them with their problems. These adults think that their children are attempting to keep them "in the dark" about their activities. Assuming that the teen has some suspicious reasons for not coming to them with his problem, parents blame him for the lack of communication that results. However, the fault for the teen's hesitancy to discuss his problems openly with his parents often lies entirely with adults, because of their lack of understanding, their automatic distrust, and their constant preoccupation with other activities. Too often, parents think the way to rear a child is to give him/her guidance in the proper way to think and act. This "guidance" too often becomes an actual molding of the teen's personality to suit the parent, as is seen in parental lectures beginning with the old clichs, "if I were you I would..." or "when I was your age 1. .." for example. These parents, while they may have the good of the teen a heart, are nevertheless making a grave mistake by trying to compel the teen to act or think in certain ways. What the teen needs instead is a type of love, which gives him/her the freedom and confidence to develop his/her own opinions in matters such as religion, morality, and choice of friends. School is a complex mixture of academic and extracurricular activities. Although the academic side is perhaps the most essential, extracurricular activities often give the student important opportunities for developing a sense of responsibility and increasing his ability to work well with others. The student can find such opportunities in an athletic program. A sport such as basketball helps young people to stay physically fit, while at the same time, it makes them more responsible and better able to function in a group. The prevailing attitude in America today is that everyone should get a college degree. This may be the result of the difficulties many members of the older generation have encountered in getting ahead without a degree. Or it may be caused by the tremendous increase in knowledge and the general opinion that it is necessary to keep abreast of new developments in science and technology. In any case, our colleges and _ universities are fast becoming overcrowded, and high school students are finding themselves under increasing pressure to earn good grades. But what abut the young man who wants nothing more than to become a good auto mechanic? Or what abut the girl whose goal is to get Frosh Writing Unit 2 -- Beginning Argumentation 12

married and to be a good mother? Or what about the young man who plans a career in the military service? In each of these cases, a college education, while it might be helpful, is not essential, and the student should be encouraged to prepare himself for some other type of special training. When Jack Hammond lost his job, he did not waste time grieving. The first day of his unemployment, he filled out ten different job applications, some of them for menial work that he was over-qualified to do. He did not care. His goal was to bring in whatever money he could during the day while keeping his evenings free to retrain himself as a medical technician by taking classes at a local community college. Jack knew that he would have to learn new skills to keep himself 5 marketable, but when he realized that his new job would pay only nine dollars an hour while his course work would cost over $5,000 each semester, he had to face a hard truth: he would have to find two jobs just to keep food on the table for his family; he had no time to get the education he needed. People like Jack, who are willing to do whatever they need to do to support themselves and their families, deserve the support of government programs to make further education possible. The states new tuition-waiver program for adults with full-time jobs would meet the needs of people like Jack.

Attention-Grabbers / Hooks
Here are more types of attention grabbers or hooks, which are so named for their ability to catch the readers attention and make the reader want to read on. It is essential that stories, magazine articles and especially essays begin with good hooks because a writer is often judged within the first few sentences. (Note: It is not easy to think of how to make someone want to read an essay. The key is to say something that the reader can relate to by brining the topic/theme you are discussing to the forefront and applying it to current fascinating topics of discussion. Startling Statement:
o All human beings are capable of the most gruesome crimes imaginable. It is only because of the customs and controls of civilization that we do not become brute savages (good and evil theme) It has long been the American formula for success. It has been written, in various ways, on thousands of high school backgrounds. Its been sung, loud and long, by millions of parents, go to college and get that degree. After you graduate, good jobs will await you. The world will be yours. Recently however, many young people have discovered that a college degree isnt the key to success that it once was.

Quote: o As Nobel Peace Prize recipient Nelson Mandela once said, Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
o Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, which most frightens us. (leadership theme) Our planet is in the midst of a terrible people explosion. These words by Jean Libman Block, author of the essay The Population Bomb and How to Defuse It, remind us that unless the present growth rate for the Earths population is reduced, the worlds population will double by the year 2000. As we look ahead into the planets future, we can see not only a terrifying people explosion, but also uncontrolled nuclear capability, depleted natural resources, and similar life-threatening problems. Unless there is global planning for the future of this planet, there is little hope of avoiding doom for us all. On a recent anonymous survey, over ninety percent of high school males admitted to secretly enjoying the music of N Sync and to practicing their hot dance moves. (depression theme) According to the United Nations, over 240 million people, forty percent of them being children, are starving in the world today. In addition, this planet has already begun to experience shortages of gas, oil, and other important natural resources. These crises are even more frightening when one considers that the Earths population is expected to double by the year 2000. Thus, it is clear that we desperately need to make plans to prevent fast-approaching global chaos and tragedy. The models that grace the pages of magazines seem to be better than anyone we have ever met: they seem elegant, untouchable, and perfect. But, just as magazine covers are manipulated to hide imperfections, we, Frosh Writing Unit 2 -- Beginning Argumentation 13

Shocking Statistic:
o o

Analogy:
o

too, sometimes fool ourselves into ignoring the flaws of individuals whom we have built up to be perfect beings. (superficiality theme)

Philosophical/Humorous Musing:
o Why is it that, when I go to school with my underwear on my head the world looks at me as if I were unusual? High school kids are so caught up in their little cliques that I feel like Ive got to become one of those underwear under the pants types too. (conformity themeNote: Humor is not appropriate for all classes and teachers. Use good judgment.)

Background Information/History: o The Romans called it cerevisia - gift of cares, goddess of grain. Ancient Babylonians, Chinese and
Egyptians all concocted it; the god Osiris, in fact, is credited with being the worlds first brew master. Hammurabi made laws about it. He invented the running tab, allowing his subjects to settle up at the local dram shop after they had harvested their corn. George Washington brewed it at Mount Vernon, Thomas Jefferson at Monticello. During World War II, Wilson Churchill outfitted a floating brewery so that thirsty tommies fighting in the Far East could get their deli rations. Ethel Kennedy sips it with a shot of brandy or schnapps, while in Pittsburgh, steel workers use it as a wash for whisky. Last year, Americans consumed an estimated 160 million barrels of beer 90 quarts for every man, woman, and child in the U.S. Behind all those suds is a $6 billion-a-year industry, and it is an industry in turmoil.

Emotionally charged word or visual image/symbol:

o A rose in full-bloom. Your favorite perfume. A steak cooking over charcoal. Our sense of smell tells us plenty. Now, spider-silk crosshairs are spinning out of existence.

Pun.
o

Ask a provocative question. o Fortunately, at the present time, only certain nations of the world are suffering greatly from the effects of
overpopulation, pollution, and shortages of food and other natural resources. However, as the Earths population continues to increase at an alarming rate, all nations will eventually be gravely affected. As a result, how much longer can the nations of this planet afford the luxury of looking upon each other as separate when it comes to issues such as food supply or ecology? How long can we continue without global planning in areas crucial for human survival?

Five Kinds of Less Effective Introductions

Source: The Writing Center, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/introductions.html#6

Using the following prompt, read and understand the five kinds of ineffective introductions: Education has long been considered a major force for American social change, righting the wrongs of our society. Drawing on The Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, discuss the relationship between education and slavery in 19th century America. 1. The Place Holder Introduction. When you don't have much to say on a given topic, it is easy to create this kind of introduction. Essentially, this kind of weaker introduction contains several sentences that are vague and don't really say much. They exist just to take up the "introduction space" in your paper. If you had something more effective to say, you would probably say it, but in the meantime this paragraph is just a place holder. Weak Example: Slavery was one of the greatest tragedies in American history. There were many different aspects of slavery. Each created different kinds of problems for enslaved people. 2. The Restated Question Introduction. Restating the question can be an effective strategy, but it can be easy to stop at JUST restating the question instead of offering a more effective, interesting introduction to your paper. The teacher wrote your questions and will be reading ten to seventy essays in response to them--they do not need to read a whole paragraph that simply restates the question. Try to do something more interesting. Weak Example: Indeed, education has long been considered a major force for American social change,
Frosh Writing Unit 2 -- Beginning Argumentation 14

righting the wrongs of our society. The Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass discusses the relationship between education and slavery in 19th century America, showing how white control of education reinforced slavery and how Douglass and other enslaved African Americans viewed education while they endured. Moreover, the book discusses the role that education played in the acquisition of freedom. Education was a major force for social change with regard to slavery. 3. The Webster's Dictionary Introduction. This introduction begins by giving the dictionary definition of one or more of the words in the assigned question. This introduction strategy is on the right track--if you write one of these, you may be trying to establish the important terms of the discussion, and this move builds a bridge to the reader by offering a common, agreed-upon definition for a key idea. You may also be looking for an authority that will lend credibility to your paper. However, anyone can look a word up in the dictionary and copy down what Webster says - it may be far more interesting for you (and your reader) if you develop your own definition of the term in the specific context of your class and assignment. Also recognize that the dictionary is also not a particularly authoritative work -- it doesn't take into account the context of your course and doesn't offer particularly detailed information. Weak Example: Webster's dictionary defines slavery as "the state of being a slave," as "the practice of owning slaves," and as "a condition of hard work and subjection." 4. The Dawn of Man Introduction. This kind of introduction generally makes broad sweeping statements about the relevance of this topic since the beginning of time. It is usually very general (similar to the place holder introduction) and fails to connect to the thesis. You may write this kind of introduction when you don't have much to say--which is precisely why it is ineffective. Weak Example: Since the dawn of man, slavery has been a problem in human history. 5. The Book Report Introduction. This introduction is what you had to do for your fifth-grade book reports. It gives the name and author of the book you are writing about, tells what the book is about, and offers other basic facts about the book. You might resort to this sort of introduction when you are trying to fill space because it's a familiar, comfortable format. It is ineffective because it offers details that your reader already knows and that are irrelevant to the thesis. Weak Example: Frederick Douglass wrote his autobiography, Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An American Slave, in the 1840s. It was published in 1986 by Penguin Books. He tells the story of his life.

Frosh Writing Unit 2 -- Beginning Argumentation 15

Introductory Paragraph Pre-Writing Strategy: :

OPENING ACT:

Introduction Method

Adapted graphic organizer from John Hersey High School

Attention grabber

Context / Connecting Statements

Thesis

Frosh Writing Unit 2 -- Beginning Argumentation 16

Checklist for the Introductory Paragraph :

Does the introductory paragraph include the thesis statement? Does the introductory paragraph interest and attract the reader? Does the introductory paragraph establish the tone of the essay? Does the introductory paragraph use the most effective method of development? Does the introductory paragraph avoid these common errors? o Using the apology. o Echoing the title. o Using the dictionary definition. o Using important sounding declarations of a common-place idea. o Using clichs and overworked quotations. o Using obvious expressions such as: In this paper, I shall. . . or The purpose of this paper is to . . . o Using meaningless questions. o Using overly long or overly short introductions. o Using colorless, summarizing statements. o Using unnecessary or irrelevant background material. o Using absolute diction.

Model Papers: (the good, the bad, and the ugly): y

Directions: 1. Read the following sample papers that answer the writing assignment (see page 2). 2. Decide which is the strongest and the weakest, and then write a three-sentence rationale explaining your decision. 3. Annotate the introductory paragraphs of each paper, labeling and commenting (positive and negative critiques) on the required parts of an introduction: the attention grabber, context/connecting sentences, and the thesis statement. 4. Annotate the body paragraphs of each paper, locating, labeling, and commenting on the following parts: a. main idea / topic sentence b. evidence c. analysis / link d. overall paragraph organization and flow e. overall development of the idea *See rubric for evaluation suggestions. 5. Annotate the concluding paragraph of each paper, labeling and commenting (positive and negative critiques) on the required parts of a conclusion: summary of main points and restatement of thesis in fresh language, a connection back to the attention grabber, and a clincher or so-what statement.
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CRS aligned Rubric: :

Frosh Writing Unit 2 -- Beginning Argumentation 18

NAME:

PERIOD:

DATE TURNED IN:

BELIEF ESSAY Rubric

Writing: 9-10 Reading: 20-23 English: 20-23

15
Comma Splices
Writer includes absolutely NO unnecessary commas.

ENGLISH SKILLS 0
(10 points after correction exercise)

NO GRADE
(10 points after correction exercise & rewrite)

Comma Splices
Writer includes ONE unnecessary comma MUST COMPLETE A CORRECTION EXERCISE.

Comma Splices
Writer includes 2 or more unnecessary commas MUST COMPLETE A CORRECTION EXERCISE for one of your errors AND rewrite paper with all of them corrected

Run-on Sentences
or ABBI or nonessential)

(fanboys

Run-on Sentences
or ABBI or nonessential)

(fanboys

Run-on Sentences
or ABBI or nonessential)

(fanboys

Writer includes absolutely NO run-on sentences.

Writer includes ONE run-on, most likely need to apply fanboys or ABBI rulemay have a nonessential that is missing punctuation MUST COMPLETE A CORRECTION EXERCISE.

Writer includes 2 or more run-ons, most likely need to apply fanboys or ABBI rule may have a nonessential that is missing punctuation MUST COMPLETE A CORRECTION EXERCISE for one of your errors AND rewrite paper with all of them corrected

Fragments
Writer includes absolutely NO fragments.

Fragments
Writer includes ONE fragment the fragment may stand alone or is following or preceding a semicolon MUST COMPLETE A CORRECTION EXERCISE.

Fragments
Writer includes 2 or more fragments MUST COMPLETE A CORRECTION EXERCISE for one of your errors AND rewrite paper with all of them corrected

Usage Requirements
Writer includes Two (2) sentences or more using FANBOY rule One (1) sentence or more using ABBI rule One (1) sentence of more using a SEMICOLON rule One (1) sentence or more using a NONESSENTIAL

Usage Requirements
Writer is missing one of the required rules OR Writer misuses one rule (MINUS 5 POINTS)

Usage Requirements
Writer fails to use the required skills. MUST rewrite paper using these skills before receiving a grade.

WRITING SKILLS
Criteria 5 Writer uses an effective attention getter (using one of the 5 methods), effectively connects the attention getter to the thesis, and includes an appropriate thesis for the specific rhetorical structure, Thesis does not announce. Writer includes one main idea sentence per main body paragraph that clearly relates to the argumentative thesis and aids in the organization of the main points. Writer includes specific, appropriate, and accurate evidence to support his/her main ideas and thesis. At least one direct quote from research (A.W.E.) is used per paragraph from class notes / readings. Writer logically explains the connection between the 4 3 Essay includes 2 of the 3 required introductory elements (ACT). OR Possible problems: weak connector statement, weak thesis, unclear method of attention getter used OR Introduction is just okay, not very developed, but okay. Thesis announces paper as an essay. Writer includes one main idea sentence per main body paragraph that clearly relates to the argumentative thesis but does not necessarily aid in the organization of the main points. Writer includes some specific, appropriate, and accurate evidence to support his/her main ideas and thesis. At least one direct quote from research (A.W.E.) is used per paragraph; one or more quotes not the best Frosh Writing Unit choice. Writer basically explains the connection between the 2 1 Essay includes only 1 or 2 of the 3 required introductory elements. (ACT). OR Essay includes ineffective introductory elements, no real attention getter per methods discussed (look at handout again) or very weak connector. Writer includes no or more than one main idea sentence per main body paragraph that poorly or does not relate to the argumentative thesis and poorly or does not aid in the organization of the main points. Writer includes none or poor specific, appropriate, and accurate evidence to support his/her main ideas and thesis. One direct quote from research (A.W.E.) is NOT used at least once per paragraph. Writer poorly or does not explain the connection between the evidence and the main idea/thesis.

Introduction (Judgments, Focus & Position) X3

Main Ideas (Focus, Position & Organization) X3 Evidence (Position) X5

2 -- Beginning Argumentation 19

Links & Analysis

Belief Essay Scoring Guide (modeled after those of College Board): :

9
Essays earning a score of 95-100 meet the criteria for a score of 8 and, in addition, are especially sophisticated in their argument, thorough in development, or impressive in their control of language.

8 Effective
Essays earning a score of 8 effectively defend, challenge, or qualify Obamas or Wallis assertions about beliefs and values in regards to politics, policies, or legal decisions. The evidence and explanations used are appropriate and convincing. The prose demonstrates consistent ability to control a wide range of the elements of effective writing but is not necessarily flawless.

7 6 Adequate

Essays earning a score of 7 meet the criteria for a score of 6 but provide a more complete explanation, more thorough development, or a more mature prose style.

Essays earning a score of 6 adequately defend, challenge, or quality Obamas or Wallis assertions about beliefs and values in regards to politics, policies, or legal decisions. The evidence and explanations used are appropriate and sufficient. The writing lapses in diction or syntax, but generally the prose is clear.

Essays earning a 5 defend, challenge, or quality Obamas or Wallis assertions about beliefs and values in regards to politics, policies, or legal decisions. The evidence or explanations used may be uneven, inconsistent, or limited. The writing may contain lapses in diction or syntax, but it usually conveys the students ideas.

4 Inadequate
Essays earning a score of 4 inadequately defend, challenge, or qualify Obamas or Wallis assertions about beliefs and values in regards to politics, policies, or legal decisions. The evidence or explanations used may be inappropriate, insufficient, or less convincing. The prose generally conveys the students ideas but may be less consistent in controlling the elements of effective writing.

Essays earning a score of 3 meet the criteria for a score of 4 but demonstrate less success in defending, challenging, or qualifying Obamas or Wallis assertions about beliefs and values in regards to politics, policies, or legal decisions. The essays may show less maturity in control of writing.

2 Little Success
Essays earning a score of 2 demonstrate little success in defending, challenging, or qualifying Obamas or Wallis assertions about beliefs and values in regards to politics, policies, or legal decisions. These essays may
Frosh Writing Unit 2 -- Beginning Argumentation 20

misunderstand the prompt or substitute a simpler task by responding to the prompt tangentially with unrelated, inaccurate, or inappropriate explanation. The prose often demonstrates consistent weaknesses in writing, such as grammatical problems, a lack of development or organization, or a lack of control.

Essays earning a score of 1 meet the criteria for a score of 2 but are underdeveloped, especially simplistic in their explanation and argument, or weak in their control of language.

0 Indicates an on-topic response that receives no credit, such as one that merely repeats the prompt. --- Indicates a blank response or one that is completely off topic.
Numeric Grade Equivalency??? 9 = 96-100 8 = 90-95 7 = 85-89 6 = 80-84 5 = 75-79 4 = 70-74 3 = 65-69 2 = 60-64 1 = 59 or below

Frosh Writing Unit 2 -- Beginning Argumentation 21