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ISLAMIC STUDIES HS-205

PATIENCE AND TOLERANCE WITH ELDERS

THE MOST NEGLECTED DUTY IN OUR SOCIETY!!!

SYED ABDULLAH AHMED EE-058 8/20/2011

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Contents
INTRODUCTION .................................................................. 3 PATIENCE ....................................................................... 3 LITERAL MEANING ........................................................... 3 TECHNICAL MEANING ....................................................... 3 TOLERANCE .................................................................... 5 LITERAL MEANING ............................................................. 5 TECHNICAL MEANING ......................................................... 5 PRACTICING PATIENCE AND TOLERANCE IN ISLAMIC SOCIETY ............ 6 ACCUSING ISLAM OF TERRORISM ............................................ 7 PATIENCE AND TOLERANCE WITH ELDERS IN ISLAM ........................ 8 DUTIES TO PARENTS .......................................................... 9 MOTHER FIRST ................................................................ 11 NON-MUSLIM PARENTS ....................................................... 12 References: ..................................................................... 13

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INTRODUCTION
PATIENCE
LITERAL MEANING

It is derived from the word stop.

that means to detain, to refrain or to

TECHNICAL MEANING
To restrain ourselves from being fearful during hard times. Also to restrain ourselves from doing prohibited acts and does what is obligated and righteous. Patience also means to stop ourselves from despairing and panicking, to stop our tongues from complaining, and to stop our hands from striking our faces and tearing our clothes at times of grief and stress.

The famous scholar Nasir al-Din al-Tusi said : Patience means retraining the self from agitation when confronted with undesirables. The great Gnostic (arif) Khwajah Abd Allah al-Ansari said : Patience means restraining the self from complaint about hidden anguish.

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Patience is the first weapon for the believer to use when facing hardship. Patience has been mentioned in the Holy Quran more than 90 times. Also it was mentioned many times in authentic Ahadith of Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. All of these verses and Ahadith talk about the importance of patience in the life of the believers. All of the messengers of Allah S.W.T. suffered great hardships and difficulties in their life, yet all of them practiced patience. Therefore, Allah S.W.T. alleviated their hardship and promised them great rewards in the Hereafter. According to Imam al-Ghazali, there are 4 types of patience in Islam. Firstly, practicing patience to fulfill the obligations. Secondly, abstaining from evil and prohibiting acts. Thirdly, practicing patience during times of calamities and without complaints. Lastly, practicing patience from the desire of the present worlds life. Here we are considering the third type of patience i.e. practicing patience during times of calamities and without complaints.

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TOLERANCE
LITERAL MEANING
Literally the word tolerance means to bear. In Arabic it is calledtasamuh. Toleration is "the practice of deliberately allowing or permitting a thing of which one disapproves. It has also been defined as "to bear or endure" or "to nourish, sustain or preserve".

TECHNICAL MEANING
As a concept it means respect, acceptance and appreciation of the rich diversity of the worlds cultures, forms of expression and ways of being human. Tolerance can be defined as an act of kindness. For further illustration we can look the matter of ablution and prayers i.e. the tolerance or kindness granted to us by Allah. Tolerance is a basic principle of Islam. It is a religious moral duty. Islam teaches tolerance on all levels: individual, groups and states. Tolerance is the mechanism that upholds human rights and the rule of law. The Qur'an says very clearly: (To every People have We appointed rites and ceremonies which they must follow, let them not then dispute with you on the matter, but do invite (them) to your Lord: for you are assuredly on the Right Way. If they do wrangle with you, say, 'God knows best what it is you are doing.' 'God will judge between you on the Day of Judgment concerning the matters in which you differ') (Al-Hajj 21:76-69).

Tolerance comes from our recognition of:

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1. The dignity of the human beings, 2. the basic equality of all human beings, 3. universal human rights, and 4. fundamental freedom of thought, conscience and belief.

PRACTICING PATIENCE AND TOLERANCE IN ISLAMIC SOCIETY

Islam is a word derived from the root words silm and salamah. It means surrendering guiding to peace and contentment and establishing security and accord. Islam is a religion of security safety and peace. These principles permeate the lives of Muslims. When Muslims stand to pray they cut their connection with this world turning to their Lord in faith and obedience and standing at attention in His presence. Completing the prayer as if they were returning back to life they greet those on their right and left by wishing peace: Remain safe and in peace; with a wish for safety and security peace and contentment they return to the ordinary world once again. Greeting and wishing safety and security for others is considered one of the most beneficial acts in Islam. When asked which act in Islam is the most beneficial the Prophet replied. Feeding others and greeting those you know and those you do not know.

In the Islamic world, one rarely finds old peoples homes. The strain of caring for ones parents in this most difficult time of their lives is considered an honor and a blessing and an opportunity for great spiritual growth. In Islam, it is not enough that we only pray for our parents, but we should act with limitless compassion, remembering

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that when we were helpless children, they preferred us to themselves. Mothers are particularly honored. When Muslim parents reach old age, they are treated mercifully, with kindness and selflessness. In Islam, serving ones parents is a duty second to prayer, and it is their right to expect it. It is considered despicable to express any irritation when, through no fault of their own, the old become difficult. God has said: Your Lord has commanded that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to your parents. If one of them or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them a word of disrespect, or scold them, but say a generous word to them. And act humbly to them in mercy, and say, My Lord, have mercy on them, since they cared for me when I was small. (Quran 17:23-24)

ACCUSING ISLAM OF TERRORISM

How unfortunate it is that Islam which is based on this understanding and spirit is shown by some circles to be synonymous with terrorism. This is a great historical mistake; wrapping a system based on safety and trust in a veil of terrorism just shows that the spirit of Islam remains unknown. If one were to seek the true face of Islam in its own sources history and true representatives then one would discover that it contains no harshness cruelty or fanaticism. It is a religion of forgiveness pardon and tolerance. Jihad can be a matter of self-defense or of removing obstacles between God and human free choice.

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PATIENCE AND TOLERANCE WITH ELDERS IN ISLAM

The Holy Prophet (SAW) says: He isnt of us who isnt kind to our youngsters, and shows no respect to our elders...

To grow old is rightly said to pass from passion to compassion. In the words of a Western scholar, About the only good thing you can say about old-age is that it is better than being dead! Hence, in a society where elders arent respected and properly looked after, the social fabric will tear apart.

A Muslim's duties to his or her parents are secondary only to duties toward Allah, their Lord and Creator. The Prophet Muhammad once asked his companions, Shall I inform you of the biggest of the major sins? He repeated the question three times, until the people answered, Yes, please inform us. Then, he said, Ascribing partners to Allah, and being undutiful to your parents.

Our life would not be possible without the sacrifice and hard work of our parents, who cared for us and met all our needs when we were young. The Qur'an addresses this point in one touching verse: And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. If one or both of them attain old age during your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor repel them. But address them in terms of honor, and lower to them the wing of humility, out of mercy, and say, My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy, as they did bring me up when I was young (Qur'an 17:2324).

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Muhammad (SAW) once said that cursing parents is one of the greatest of sins, as it shows pride and ingratitude to those who deserve the greatest respect. It is forbidden for Muslims to ridicule, abuse, or insult a person or a person's family members, even as a joke.

DUTIES TO PARENTS
Among all the elders of a man, the rights of his parents enjoy the most distinguished place. The Bible and Torah, require that parents should be respected. In addition, the Quran provides detailed instructions in the matter. In Islam duties towards parents rank only next to duties towards Allah. This fact is abundantly clear from the following Quranic Verse in which commandments about worshipping Allah have been immediately followed by emphasis on showing kindness to parents. It says: Your Lord has decreed that you should worship none but Him, and show kindness to your parents... (17:23)

Muslims are advised to treat their parents gently and respectfully. They should always strive to please them and never become impatient or rude with them. Muslims consider it an honor and a blessing to be able to care for their parents in old age. After all, it's the least we can do to repay them for all of their hard work and sacrifice. Nursing homes and hospice care are new phenomena in the Muslim world, and they are not widely accepted. Elderly and ill family members almost always remain in the homes of children or relatives, cared for and respected until death.

Muhammad (SAW) encouraged his followers to treat their parents well and to be mindful of their needs. Once, a young man came to him and wanted to join the Muslim army on the battlefield to defend the

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community from attack. Muhammad asked him if his parents were living. When the young man said they were, he told him: Then go back to your parents, serve them, and deal with them kindly. This is as good as fighting for God's sake.

Muslims consider their parents' opinions about important matters, such as choosing a career path, spouse, or place to live. As a Muslim gets older, any income she earns is partially used to support her parents and meet their needs. A Muslim prays that after their deaths, God will forgive her parents and show mercy toward them.

It is important to note, however, that a Muslim's duty toward his parents is not blind obedience. No Muslim should obey his parents if they order their child to do something that is in violation of Islamic law. In this situation, a Muslim strives to advise his parents, educate them about Islamic teachings in the matter, and ultimately serve God first and foremost.

A young man once traveled from Yemen to be with the Prophet Muhammad. When he arrived, Muhammad asked him if he had asked his parents' permission before coming. He hadn't. Muhammad sent him home, with these instructions: If they permit you, then come back. Otherwise, be devoted to them.

Muhammad once said, Let his nose be rubbed in the dust; let his nose be rubbed in the dust; let his nose be rubbed in the dust. When asked, Who is it that should be humiliated in such a way? he answered, That person who finds his parents, one or both of them, attaining old age in his life, but does not enter Paradise by serving them.

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In the words of Prophet Muhammad (SAW): No dutiful man gives his parents a kind look without Allah recording to his credit an approved pilgrimage for every look.

MOTHER FIRST
Among parents, it is usually the mother who makes the most sacrifice and endures the most hardship in the care of her children. Islam recognizes this fact, offering more honor to the mother as a parent. Muhammad (SAW) once said, Paradise is placed at the mothers' feet, so high is their status and regard.

The Qur'an reminds people of the sacrifices and hardships that mothers face on behalf of their children. And we enjoined upon mankind concerning parents: his mother carried him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is two years. Therefore show gratitude to Allah and to your parents (Qur'an 31:14).

On another occasion, some people asked the Prophet Muhammad, To whom should we show kindness first? He answered, Your mother. Then he was asked again, And after that, then whom? Muhammad again replied, Your mother. He was asked yet again, and he gave the same reply again: Your mother. Only after that, when he was asked one more time, did he answer, Then, your father.

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NON-MUSLIM PARENTS
If a Muslim's parents do not believe in Islam, she is guided to treat them with kindness and mercy out of respect for their sacrifices and unconditional love. However, just as with Muslim parents, if a nonMuslim parent orders something that goes against the faith, the Muslim is not to obey: But if they strive to make you join other gods in worship with Me, of which you have no knowledge, obey them not. Yet accompany them in this life with gentleness (Qur'an 31:15). A Muslim must respect and give all other rights and duties to nonMuslim parents, regardless of their faith.

The rights of parents dont end even after their death. Once a man of the tribe Banu Salemah came to the Holy Prophet (SAW) and asked him if there were any rights of parents after their demise. Yes, the Prophet replied and advised him to pray for them seeking forgiveness for them, to fulfill their instructions after their death, to keep affinity with those who arent connected except through parents and to respect their friends.

In order to maintain peace, cordiality and fraternity in a society, Islam advocates a system of social inter-action in which juniors are loved and seniors are respected. The Holy Prophet (SAW) explained this cardinal principle of his teachings in the following immutable words: He is not with us who is not kind to our juniors and shows no respect to our elders...!

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References:
www.google.com.pk www.scribd.com http://www.islamictreasure.com/?p=9 http://www.imamreza.net/eng/imamreza.php?id=4245 http://www.islamreligion.com/category/73/