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Introducing Demotivators The Original Demotivational Posters

MOTIVATION. Psychology tells us that motivation- true, lasting motivation- can only come from within. Common sense tells us it can't be manufactured or productized. So how is it that a multi-billion dollar industry thrives through the sale of motivational commodities and services? Because, in our world of instant gratification, people desperately want to believe that there are simple solutions to complex problems. And when desperation has disposable income, market opportunities abound. AT DESPAIR, INC., we believe motivational products create unrealistic expectations, raising hopes only to dash them. That's why we created our soul-crushingly depressing Demotivators designs, so you can skip the delusions that motivational products induce and head straight for the disappointments that follow!

E.L. Kersten, Ph.D. Founder and COO

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You can fool all of the people all of the time if your effects budget is large enough.

Accomplishments

You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor.

Achievement

The discovery that you're no longer a big fish in a small pond, or even a small fish in a big pond, but a small fish in a big fish.

Acquisition

That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.

Adversity

Not all pain is gain.

Agony

The journey of a thousand miles

Ambition

Apathy

The best leaders inspire by example.

Arrogance

sometimes ends very, very badly.

If we don't take care of the customer,maybe they'll stop bugging us.

When that's not an option, brute intimidation works pretty well, too.

From each according to his ability, to each according to his lack thereof.

Bailouts

If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core.

Beauty

Never be afraid to share your dreams with the world, because there's nothing the world loves more than the taste of really sweet dreams.

Bitterness

The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.

Blame

Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few.

Blogging

Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you.

Burnout

I expected times like this - but I never thought they'd be so bad, so long, and so frequent.

Challenges

Politicians are like diapers. They need to be changed often and for the same reason.

Change

When the winds of change blow hard enough, the most trivial of things can become deadly projectiles.

Change (winds)

There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.

Cluelessness

When a motivated group of people join together, they can turn problems into opportunities. Especially drinking problems.

Collaboration

Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be.

Compromise

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.

Conformity

Proudly defending the status quo long after the quo has lost its status.

Congress

It's only a virtue if you're not a screwup.

Consistency

If you're not a part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.

Consulting

I want either less corruption or more opportunity to participate in it.

Corruption

Helps artists die young, miserable, and penniless- so their art can have meaning to the old, satisfied, and obscenely rich.

Creativity

Some Places Remain Unknown Because No One Has Ventured Forth. Others Remain So Because No One Has Ever Come Back.

Curiosity

Because we're not satisfied until you're not satisfied.

Customer Disservice

If we really cared for the customer we'd send them somewhere better.

Customer Care

When birds fly in the right formation, they need only exert half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness.

Dare Slack

For every winner, there are dozens of losers. Odds are you're one of them.

Defeat

There is no greater joy than soaring high on the wings of your dreams, except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality.

Delusions

Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people.

Demotivation

It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black.

Despair

You were meant for me. Perhaps as a punishment.

Destiny

A company that will go to the ends of the Earth for its people will find it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans.

Discovery

There comes a time when every team must learn to make individual sacrifices.

Disloyalty

It takes months to find a customer, but only seconds to lose one... the good news is that we should run out of them in no time.

Disservice

Because every person deserves an equal chance to prove their incompetence.

Diversity

The early worm is for the birds.

Do it Later

In the battle between you and the world, bet on the world.

Doubt

Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them.

Dreams

The only consistent feature in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.

Dysfunction

The science of explaining tomorrow why the predictions you made yesterday didn't come true today.

Economics

Hard work never killed anybody, but it is illegal in some places.

Effort

It's lonely at the top, but it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.

Elitism

If you keep asking others to give you the benefit of the doubt, they'll eventually start to doubt your benefit.

Excuses

When your best just isn't good enough.

Failure

Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea.

Fear

If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom.

Flattery

I may not agree with what you say, but I respect your right to be punished for it.

Freedom

You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and, statistically speaking, 99% of the shots you do.

Futility

You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.

Get To Work

At some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser.

Give Up

It's best to avoid standing directly between a competitive jerk and his goals.

Goals

If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions.

Government

There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you're pretty much doomed.

Hazards

May not be warranted at this point.

Hope

The harder you try, the dumber you look.

Humiliation

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Idiocy

It's amazing how much easier it is for a team to work together when no one has any idea where they're going.

Ignorance

When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.

Incompetence

The mark of the leader is the ability to make decisions. The mark of the survivor is knowing when not to.

Indecision

It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Indifference

Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.

Individuality

If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.

Ineptitude

If it can make your job easier, it can probably make it irrelevant.

Innovation

It's difficult to comprehend how insane some people can be. Especially when you're insane.

Insanity

When the going gets tough, the tough get going. The smart left a long time ago.

Insight

Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99% perspiration, which is why engineers sometimes smell really bad.

Inspiration

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, but you'd be a fool to withhold that from your superiors.

Intimidation

No single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood.

Irresponsibility

Success is a journey, not a destination. So stop running.

Laziness

Leaders are like eagles. We don't have either of them here.

Leaders

It took millions of years to create something this extraordinary. You have about seventy-four.

Legacy

The price of freedom keeps going up, but the quality keeps deteriorating.

Liberty

Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.

Limitations

If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone.

Loneliness

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

Losing

Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "Hey, is there room in your head for one more?"

Madness

Because making it look good now is more important than providing adequate support later.

Marketing

If you're tired of others looking down on you, grow the hell up.

Maturity

It takes a lot less time and most people won't notice the difference until it's too late.

Mediocrity

None of us is as dumb as all of us.

Meetings

Teach every child you meet the importance of forgiveness. It's our only hope of surviving their wrath once they realize just how badly we've screwed things up for them.

Mercy

While good fortune often eludes you, this kind never misses.

Misfortune

It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

Mistakes

If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.

Motivation

We promote family values here almost as often as we promote family members.

Nepotism

I am Dr. Adewole Aremu- a director with the Union Bank of Nigeria in Lagos - and I wish to speak to you most urgently about a matter regarding the sum of $39,000,000 US Dollars...

Opportunity

Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you.

Overconfidence

The courage to ignore the obvious wisdom of turning back.

Perseverance

It's over, man. Let her go.

Persistence

Less is more. Unless you're standing next to the one with more. Then less just looks pathetic.

Perspective

Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it.

Pessimism

Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress.

Planning

With focus, dedication and steroids, men can achieve impossible dreams. Like breaking a world record. Or growing their own breasts.

Possibilities

Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up.

Potential

Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. But it rocks absolutely, too.

Power

It can turn a lump of coal into a flawless diamond, or an average person into a perfect basketcase.

Pressure

The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious.

Pretension

Hundreds of years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove... But the

Priorities

No matter how great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember, you've probably only seen the tip of them.

Problems

Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.

Procrastination

world may be different because I did something so bafflingly crazy that my ruins become a tourist attraction.

What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies right to our faces.

Propaganda

The race for quality has no finish lineso technically, it's more like a death march.

Quality

Having your moment in the sun isn't always a good thing.

Recognition

Time heals all wounds. But it usually leaves a pretty big scar.

Recovery

It hurts to admit when you make mistakes - but when they're big enough, the pain only lasts a second.

Regret

Because you've given so much of yourself to the company that you don't have anything left we can use.

Retirement

If you never try anything new, you'll miss out on many of life's great disappointments.

Risks

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood. And Robert Frost took the one less traveled. Of course, he also heckled his rivals and started fires to disrupt their poetry readings. But that makes for a terrible motivational poster. Unless you're a petty pyromaniac. In which case, here you go.

The Road Not Taken

Love is in the air. And it's pooping on my head.

Romance

Your role may be thankless, but if you're willing to give it your all, you just might bring success to those who outlast you.

Sacrifice

All we ask here is that you give us your heart.

Sacrifice (Temple)

Minds are like parachutes. Just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can borrow mine.

Sanity

What is The Secret? Pretend you've already achieved it- Then offer to sell The Secret to others.

The Secret

Just because you think you're a star doesn't mean you're going anywhere.

Self-Esteem

View all customers as beautiful buds that must be cultivated, watered, and periodically buried under manure.

Service

As long as we have each other, we'll never run out of problems.

Strife

Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots.

Stupidity

Some people dream of success, while other people live to crush those dreams.

Success

The less you stand out, the longer you'll last.

Survival

A code word lazy people use when they want you to do all the work.

Synergy

A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.

Teamwork

Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.

Tradition

As long as there are children in the world, there will never be any real peace.

Tranquility

Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young.

Trouble

The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the lawnmower.

Underachievement

Winners never fly higher than when they're bouncing up and down on the egos of those they defeat.

Victory

How can the future be so hard to predict when all of my worst fears keep coming true?

Vision

All I ask is for a chance to prove that money can't buy happiness.

Wealth

If you expect to score points by whining, join a European soccer team.

Whining

Because nothing says "you're a loser" more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.

Winners

Sometimes the only difference between a budding genius and a blooming idiot is where they choose to take a stand.

Wisdom

When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

Wishes

Just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important.

Worth

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