John, Mark, and Bobby Tanner Yea -1 It had been two hours since the monster arrived on Johns

back porch, and John

and Mark were concerned the creature was becoming a little agitated. With the two men standing in front of the glass back door, staring into the night from the relative safety of the house, only the monsters relative size could be discerned. Beyond that, no features could be seen. The creatures heavy steps could be heard pacing across the wooden deck. The vibrations of it shook the frame of the house lightly. I wonder what it looks like, John remarked. John was 25, tall and thin, with grey eyes, short red hair, and a thick red beard. It looks pretty large, like bear size maybe Maybe its like Cthulhu. A strange octopoid creature from another space-time, intent on enslaving humanity. I dont think so Mark. This guy is pretty small in comparison to Cthulhu. Cthulhu is stories tall, he would break my deck. Plus, this guy looks kind of hairy, John strained his eyes looking out, but saw nothing Maybe. Yeah, I suppose youre right. Mark was 27, and he was a nurse at the same hospital John worked in. Mark was short, only 52, and slightly overweight. He wore glasses, and he had a mop of short blonde hair on his head. Both he and John were still dressed in scrubs after leaving their late shift at the hospital. John had invited Mark over for a few drinks, but they had been interrupted by the creature. What do you think it wants, Mark? Food most likely. Probably us, if you wanted to be more specific. Not the best way to end a shift at the hospital, is it? Not really, no. 1

John, Mark, and Bobby Tanner Yea The footsteps on the porch slowed, and then ceased. The loud thumping of the creatures movements was replaced by the soft chirping of crickets, and the vibrations ceased. John and Mark pressed their faces up to the glass, peering to see what happened to their new friend. You think its gone? John asked, cupping his hands around his eyes. God, I hope so. Suddenly, a wretched howl emanated all through the woods outdoors. It was so strong and low, the noise vibrated the glass of the door. John and Mark jumped back in surprise, as the bellow assaulted their ears. The call was so powerful, it even shook them. Jesus Christ! Mark cupped his hands over his ears, wincing in pain. It sounds like a horse, a goat, a pig, and a jet plane all at once! The noise stopped as quickly as it came upon, and the heavy steps of the monster told it was moving. The steps ceased, and a loud scratching echoed through the house. Is he scratching my walls? I think so. Thats really loud for scratching on brick though. Just then, the house shook violently, more than it did when the monster paced. This repeated for a few minutes, with each shake being followed by a loud grunt from the creature. Eventually, the monster monster and let out a light howl. Well, that was terrifying, Mark said, shaking his head. Yeah, I need a beer after that. Want one? Yes I would. John lived in Asheville, North Carolina in a small neighborhood called Oakfield. Oakfield was at the base of a mountain, and it was surrounded by millions of evergreen 2

John, Mark, and Bobby Tanner Yea trees, giving even the day time a tinge of shadow. His living room had a high roof, and it was filled with several couches and a large television. The adjacent kitchen was connected with open walls, and a hallway from the kitchen led to a bedroom, a bathroom, and the door to the garage. John soon returned with two beers, and handed one to Mark. They continued to stare out through the windows into the darkness. You think it has a name? John asked, as he cracked open the beer and took a sip. What, the horrible thing out there stalking us? Yeah. I mean, should we be calling it something? Is it a famous monster, like Dracula or the Chupacabra? I took a cryptozoology course in college once, and I dont remember any animal like this. Mark took a sip of his beer, and belched. Its probably a new monster. We should give it a name. Like The Terror of Oakfield. Dont name it after my neighborhood! Itll get bad press if they interview us, and then the housing association is going to ride my ass because its my fault no one wants to live here anymore, said John. Maybe. We could name it after you.

Why dont we name it after you Mark? No, because if he eats me, it will make this horrible irony I couldnt live with. It wouldnt even matter if I was dead, said Mark. Listen, lets just call it something simple like Bobby, okay? John finished his beer and snorted. Fine, whatever. 3

John, Mark, and Bobby Tanner Yea Do you think anyone else heard the noise? What, his bark or whatever? I suppose you could call it a bark, but yes. Nah, the housing association is having a party for all the residents downtown. I got out of it because of work. Well, Mark said as he smashed his empty beer can, Isnt that convenient for Bobby? *** An hour passed, and as far as John and Mark could tell, Bobby was still lurking just out of sight. Every few minutes, Bobby would cease walking and let out his horrible how, but continue pacing soon after. John and Mark had become tired of standing in front of the glass door, so they moved one of Johns plush couches so they could relax while keeping watch. They also brought over a small stockpile of beer and snacks in order to keep themselves occupied while they monitored the mysterious Bobby. John picked up another beer and cracked it open. You know, I wonder why he chose my house. Why do you wonder that? Well, I got a small place. The Yagovitchs next door have, like, a family of 10. I mean, yeah they are at the party, but why didnt he come here yesterday, or the day before? Maybe he just as a taste for the Irish and hospital uniforms? Nah, thatd be too convenient. Maybe hes not hungry. Maybe hes just curious. On saying this, a small tussle began to arise from the backyard. In between 4

John, Mark, and Bobby Tanner Yea Bobbys strange wails, a cat hiss filled the air. Shit! I left Fluff out there! Your cat? Yeah, shit. Hope he makes it to the door. A crimson splatter appeared on the window of the door in response. Interspersed with small flecks of a black slime and blood were tufts of cat fur. Bobby produced what sounded like a grunt of satisfaction, and a glint of light bounced off two bright red eyes that were on top of one another. Oh shit! Mark covered his eyes in fright, as John drank his beer while slowly watching the blood slide down the window. Whoa, John. Im sorry about Fluff. Its okay, dude. No, I mean it. Ill buy you another cat. Dont man. I hate cats. Its really no biwait, what? Yeah, I hate them. I was looking for a reason to get rid of Fluff, but I didnt want to abandon him on the street, and I didnt feel like selling him. This kills two birds with one stone. Mark stared slack-jawed at John, but quickly recovered. He sat next to John on the couch and began to pick at a bowl of peanuts. Bobbys stomps continued, echoing away from the house. Well, more like killing one cat with a horrible, unknown monster. Haha, yeah. John grabbed a bag of potato chips, and opened them Well, we know hes hungry. 5

John, Mark, and Bobby Tanner Yea Do you think we can exploit that? How? It sounds like hes leaving anyway, John began to delve into the chips, forgetting about the blood dripping down the door. I dont think he would just give up the ghost like that. The cat probably just fueled his hunger. Now he wants something more substantial, like us. From outside, the sound of Bobby rustling leaves could be heard from inside the house Maybe, said John, as he stared out into the blackness searching for Bobby. I wonder what hes doing out there. It doesnt really matter though, because Im sure as hell not going out there to be a sacrifice. What? Oh, God no. Me neither. Did you see those eyes? Lets be humane here. Well give him human substitute. John turned away from the window. What do you mean? Well, well give him some kind of meat we eat that we would imagine human would taste like. John looked at Mark suspiciously Why dont we just poison him? Then, all our troubles will be over. John, Im surprised at you, wanting to kill a helpless creature. Damn it, youre a doctor, not a hunter. Helpless? He killed my cat, scratched the shit out of my house, and is scheming out there. John, he might be the only instance of Bobby in existence! It would be like killing all the manatees or something. You dont want that to happen, do you? John sighed Fine, calm down. Well, what would we taste like, Mark? 6

John, Mark, and Bobby Tanner Yea I dont know, since I am not a cannibal. If I had to guess, something close to beef. We are pretty bloody creatures, and fat too. At this, Mark jiggled his overweight belly. Marbled human meat? If I was a terrible monstrosity from another space-time, Id love it. Well, I see it more like chicken. Humans have spindly arms and stuff, but we have big legs usually. Best part of the chicken. Ah, I see your point. But what about lamb? Stringy, yet succulent. It will be perfect John thought for a second. Actually, I think I have a lamb steak in the fridge. But I was going to cook it tomorrow. John, now is not the time for dinner plans. Now is the time for action, so lead the way. Mark rose up off the couch, and John soon followed. Once in the kitchen, John rifled around in his freezer, eventually pulling out a very sizeable lamb steak. Ok, lets go give it to him. John began to walk back to the couch, but his collar was grabbed by Mark. Whoa there, my good sir. You cant feed Bobby that lamb steak. Why not? Its frozen solid! Hell hate it, and then hell just get very angry and stay here longer instead of leaving. Should I cook it then? I thought monsters loved the bloody meat thing. John, this is mass-produced, farm-bred, hormone filled lamb. If there is any blood in it, it is most likely from a butcher who cut his finger while preparing it. 7

John, Mark, and Bobby Tanner Yea I guess so. Well, itll take a while to cook, so hes going to have to wait. Bobbys cry echoed throughout the house once again, and a sharp crack like a branch breaking soon followed. Mark and John looked at each other shocked. Fuck, what was that? That sounds like a bad sound. John, dont worry. Its nothing, he probably stepped on a branch. Okay, so if its nothing, go check it out Mark. Mark sighed If I dont, will you keep riding me about it? Yes, I will. Just go over and check. Mark reluctantly trudged over to the door, looking exasperated. John watched as Mark looked out the window, after which Mark turned to look at him. See? Hes not doing- There was a loud smash of glass, and Mark let out a cry of pain. A large flat branch was smashed through the glass of the door, firmly stuck in the spidering pane. Mark was rolling on the ground yelping, clutching his left arm. John rushed over quickly to inspect his friend. Mark, stop rolling around! Youre going to make it worse! Fuck, it hurts! God, shit! What happened? Bobby threw this branch through the door, right at me! John was shocked. Fuck. Let me see your arm, it might be broken. Mark was still whimpering, but he pulled his hand away. His upper left forearm was bent slightly, and a large bruise surrounded by splinters marked the impact site. Well, it looks fractured. Youre not using this for a while, man. Ill go get a 8

John, Mark, and Bobby Tanner Yea splint, dont move. *** John and Mark sat around the oven, waiting for the lamb steak to finish cooking. Mark sat looking upset, a splint holding his entire left arm in place to let the bone set. The smell of cooked lamb filled the house. Hey Mark, you shouldnt walk in the woods anymore. Maybe youll break your leg on a stump next time. God, shut the fuck up John. Youve been making these shitty jokes for an hour! Mark stared forward in anger, contemplating the situation. Lets poison him. What? Are you kidding? No. Do you have a gun? We can use that too. I dont have either of those Mark! And I thought you wanted to let him live. What happened to the whole he is the only one of his species diatribe? He broke my fucking arm, John! This is personal now. Whatever, man. Youre just mad because your arm looks like an airplane wing. John looked over at the spidered glass door, looking at the branch sticking out. Speaking of Bobby, I havent heard from him in a while. Suddenly, the glass blew out of the door, sending glass shards, splinters, and cat blood everywhere. The branch fell into the living room with a loud clatter, and Bobby let out a cry of victory. Oh fuck Mark, get down! John grabbed Marks broken arm, and they both swung down under the counter to hide. Mark yelped in pain, but quickly silenced himself. They pressed their backs against the cupboards that were under the counter, the two of 9

John, Mark, and Bobby Tanner Yea them breathing heavily. Shit Mark, he broke the door. Hes inside! You dont think I know that John? Just shut up! The entire house filled with a strange scent. The smell could be likened to the smell of air after a thunderstorm, a smell of burnt ozone. What sounded like drops of slime fell and hit the ground near the door in quick succession. Bobby let out a snort, which was followed by the sound of a large cascade of the slime, and then let out his low carrion call. It rattled the entire house. The beer cans Mark and John had left on the counter fell over, and the intense vibrations from the close howl flung open some of the cupboards lined around Johns kitchen. Bobby began to move, his steps sounding like soft moss being pounded by a rock. His lumbering form began to lurch towards the kitchen. John and Mark cowered behind the counter, as Bobbys footsteps grew louder. John was cradling his head in his hands, keeping his eyes closed. Mark was staring off into the distance, eyes glazed over slightly. Shit, Mark. What are we going to do? The lamb steak isnt done yet! Johns voice began to rise, to the point almost well beyond a whisper. Shut up! Just shut up! Mark hissed at John. I dont know what we are going to do! Hes obviously strong enough to break that glass easily. We are no match for him, especially with my gimpy arm. Dont tell me that Mark, damn it! John started to breathe erratically. Shit, are you hyperventilating? Yes, shut up! This is a verystressfulsituation! Isheclose? 10

John, Mark, and Bobby Tanner Yea I dont know. Mark shuffled in place uncomfortably Should I go see? Yesplease John reached into the cupboard he was leaning against, and pulled out a small paper bag to breathe into. Fine. Mark crawled onto his good hand and knees, slowly limping his way to the corner. He peered around it and quickly returned to his seat next to John, who had just calmed himself down. Where is he? Here. Right around the corner. How does he look? Not too happy. By now, the stench was overwhelming, and the steps thunderous. His back was tall and buffalo like, easily visible over the counter, but being no taller than about 5 feet. He was covered in dark golden fur, and his whole back quivered with muscle as he walked. From around the corner oozed a black slime, flowing like water yet black as oil. Large ripples spread through it as Bobby trudged through his trail of slime. One of Bobbys six large legs appeared around the corner. It was covered in the same hair as his back, and was as thick as a fire hydrant. Each paw was flat and radial, like a smooth base on the bottom of his leg. Bobby turned his head around the corner. It was large, black, and scaled, like a small dinosaur, and his snout ended in small nostrils. Rows of teeth clogged with cat flesh jutted out of his lips in multiple directions, and black liquid dripped from them. Bobby did not have two eyes as thought before, but two sets of them. Two were placed like a reptile, on the sides and on the upper jaw, and the other two were placed similarly, but 11

John, Mark, and Bobby Tanner Yea instead on the lower jaw. He opened his mouth to reveal a tongue-less mouth, and let out his terrible cry. He inched towards the two men. John began to hyperventilate once more, breathing into his bag while still staring at the oncoming creature, while Mark simply covered his eyes. Bobby was mere inches away from both of them, his slow plodding taunting them. Mark looked over to John in fear. John, Im sorry about not listening to your initial idea about poisoning Bobby. Its okay. Im sorry for not suggesting we leave when we obviously had a clear exit to my garage door. Its okWait, what?! Bobby let out another horrible call, standing right in front of John and Mark. The black liquid flew onto their faces when he roared, soaking them. He turned his head, appraising John and Mark with two of his large eyes. Bobby snorted, and reared back his head. John and Mark covered their faces, closing their eyes tightly, waiting for the end to come quickly. I guess this is it John. Yup. As John and Mark waited for their hoped quick deaths, they heard a large smash, followed by what sounded like sniffing. Bobby let out a small growl, and his footsteps shook the house once again. It took several minutes before John and Mark relaxed, opening their eyes to look at the scene. Bobby had smashed the glass window of Johns oven. Inside, the cooking racks were all shuffled about, and the lamb steak was gone from the cooking pan. Mark stood 12

John, Mark, and Bobby Tanner Yea up from behind the counter, and began to survey their surroundings. Besides the black trail of slime leading back out the door, there was no trace of Bobby to be found. The scent of lamb slowly disappeared from the house. Mark sat back down next to John. I think hes gone. Yeah, I cant feel his steps anymore. Mark wiped the sweat from his brow. Well, that was horrible. Well, at least we are ok, right? John turned to smile at Mark. Yup. Just wet, I suppose. I hope this stuff isnt caustic. Mark relaxed the back of his head on the cupboard. Shame about your door though. And my arm. And your oven. Whoa, what? John had not noticed the gapping whole in the front of his oven where the glass used to be. God damn it, thats a new oven too.

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