WRITING BY NUMBERS

1 3

Toolkit For Managers and Staff

A guide to writing, editing and reading

ccurate

rief

lear English

WRITING BY NUMBERS
This guide will help you edit and write documents so we can all understand them. First you will learn how to check and correct someone elses written work. When you get good at using the 5 simple rules to correct work, you will find writing becomes easier. Your writing will become more accurate, brief and clear. After each rule or guideline there are examples and illustrations you can use to help you get better or to train others. There are also exercises for each rule in the guide. These will help you understand the rules as well as giving you a head start when training others. Follow the rules and learn how to:

Write simply and clearly Punctuate Proof-read.

Anything can be written in clear English without it seeming too simple to the reader.

The

1, 2

and

of good writing.

Good writers do

3 things really well. They must:

1.

PLAN

What they are going to write and who they are writing for.

2. WRITE
Follow the golden rules of good writing

3.

CHECK and EDIT

How to check for mistakes and make sure the document is write for the reader

PLANNING
You need to know what you are going to write and who you are writing for. Remember to do the following:

Ps

Prior- Planning- Prevents- Potentially- Poor- Performance Think about who you are writing for and try to imagine what the ideal document would look like-before you start writing! Decide what you need to say before you start. Professional writers often write notes on a piece of paper, before they start. These cover all the points they need to get across. As they write they cross off each point.

Ts

Tell them what you are going to tell them Tell them what your telling them Tell them what youve told them. Good written documents follow simple guidelines. Even if the document is short like a letter it should: -Tell then what it is about- a heading -Tell them what they need to know or do -Tell them briefly again!

HONEST SERVING MEN

I have six honest serving men they taught me all I know, their names are what and why and when and how and where and who. (Rudyard Kipling) What- do I want this document to do? Why-am I writing, would a phone call be quicker or better? When-do I have to get in touch? How-can I make sure all the facts are there? Where-will these documents end up? Who-is going to be reading this and whats best for them?

SUMMARY

Keep

Work

W RITING
The golden rules of good writing are based on work done over the last 50 years. These rules are not often taught in a school. This is a great pity as many people struggle with writing and are afraid to tackle writing projects. When given writing to do in school we are often told I want you to do 3 or 4 sides or 500 words , The guidelines are about quantity not quality. Very rarely are we told be as accurate, brief and clear as possible! We are also encouraged to use the longest and most complicated words. This is wrong! The 500 most common words in our language can be used 15,000 different ways. So, as soon as we stray from common words the chance of misunderstanding gets bigger and bigger. Follow the 7 simple rules below and your writing will be clear and easy to understand.

The 7 golden rules of ABC writing

st

Do it now! Just write and dont worry

letters or less - use short simple words words or less - short sentences (14-18

15
words)

1 idea- in each sentence 5 sentences or less - in short paragraphs 2 commas maximum - punctuation improves

meaning

nd

-write actively!

W RITING - by numbers

st

Do it now! Just write and dont worry

Good writers just write. They they go over what they have done and using the Golden rules to tidy the work up. After you do this a number of times they find they apply the rules as they write. By learning to edit following the rules you will learn how to write at the same time.

letters or less - use short simple words

Try to never have more than 8 letters in a word. Using simple words is one of the secrets of Accurate Brief and

Clear writing.

Dont use jargon, Latin and Greek words if you can. Appendix X gives examples of simple words we can use rather than long ones. If you are training others or yourself try the practical tests- What do these words mean? (The answers and explanation are included at the back of this booklet) Appendix 6 is a useful A-Z of long words and phrases with shorter, better alternatives. Appendix 7 is a copy of a memo by Winston Churchill. He wanted writing done accurate, brief and clear.

EXERCISE 1

Tee a h r s
(a) (b) (c) (d) (e) make a statement assume imply a fact decide

What do these words mean? Here are some words that you will often see (or use!) in Housing Associations. After each word, five possible meanings are listed. Tick the one you think is the closest to the original word.

INFER

be led to believe

DEFINITIVE

(a) (b) (c) (d) (e)

certain

precise

conclusive final

Eg s i f nl hs i pr s s h hae w Ms p o l ot e p v cbl r oau y a wr s od.

unchangeable

Te a yM h Di l

PROPOUND

(a) (b) (c)

suggest

add weight to mix together

a e f1 ; go 1 h h ra e i e g. g

(d) (e)

argue about formulate

VIABLE

(a) (b) (c) (d) (e)

competitive practicable economic able to compete capable of living

OPTIMISE

(a) (b) (c) (d) (e)

hope for the best maximise use in the best way make cheaply compromise

15
words)

words or less - short sentences (14-18

Using short sentences and simple words is the secret of Accurate Brief and Clear writing. Journalists often use short sentences of 15-20 words. The ideal sentence length for residents is between 14-18 words. (See Appendix X. The Fog index explains why this is vital!) Only 4 people out of a 100 can understand a 27 word sentence at the first reading. 80 out of a 100 can understand an 18 word sentence. If we want residents to understand what we have written we must keep it short! Remember also that 8 out of 100 struggle to read anything! If your documents average 14 or 15 words a sentence most people will be able to understand it. Do not worry if you think writing like this will be too simple. This guide is written following the 5 rules. Did you think it was too simple for you?

Or We could not get into the roof space because a board was nailed across the hatch

EXERCISE 2

Poor

Here, are some sentences taken from HA letters. See if you can shorten the sentences and make the words simpler without losing the meaning. Your target should be half the number of words. Examples of suggested answers are included for the first 3. It is often easy to find real documents from the HA to carry out this exercise

Authorisation is contained in the letter for the disposal by yourself of surplus housing stock. (15)..

Rectification of the above mentioned kitchen goods is essential in the interests of the preservation of good customer relationships with this customer.(22)...

Stationery supplies are provided by many office suppliers to us. (10)..

It should be assumed that the question as to the desirability of A over B should be answered on the basis of customer preference. (24)

Difficulties are being experienced with the fence-coating machine. (9)

In the event that a rail strike should occur goods should be despatched by road transport. (16)

It is generally believed in the department than an improvement in production can be effected by the abolition of restrictive practices. (21)

Our planning department has been advised of your decision and an investigation is now being made to see if our planning programme can be adjusted to meet your revised requirements. (30)

The cost may be upwards of a figure rather below 10m. (11)

Alternative procedures for the realisation of these objectives will have to be found. (13)

Maintenance of good order and discipline should be achieved as a matter of prime importance. (15)

Did you manage to cut the number of words in half? Answers to first 3 produced by residents. - You may dispose of surplus stock. (6) - We must fix the goods to keep the client happy. (10) - We have many suppliers (4)

idea- in each sentence

Try to keep to one main idea in each sentence. Most long sentences can be broken down into simple parts. This makes it easier to read. Keep it clear and positive, and dont waste words. The modern way of breaking up sentences is to use bullets. These allow us to take long sentences and break them down into simple short ones.

Make a list
If you have a lot of information to get over, split it into lists, with bullet points to draw the attention to each point. Make points like this:

If each tenant brings: a hammer some nails a bit of string.

We can do the job!

With this kind of list, put nothing after each point. A full stop should be put at the end of the list. Bullet points are better than numbers or letters as they catch your eye while leaving the message clear. Using short sentences also helps people read better.When reading most people read 4/5 words as a block. That is why newspapers have columns with 4/8 words in each column. Think about this when writing leaflets or newsletters.

EXERCISE 3
This exercise involves you applying the earlier rules as well as thinking about how to present the information in a much simpler way. Rewrite the 2 examples below. Then check your answers against the answers given in

Appendix 6
CONFUSION THIS IS AN EXTRACT TAKEN FROM A GOVERNMENT PUBLICATION. National Insurance Act - Delayed claim unemployment benefit

For the purposes of this section, a person shall be deemed not to have failed to do anything required to be done within a limited time if he did it within such further time if any of the Commissioners may have allowed and where a person had a reasonable excuse for not doing anything required to be done he shall be deemed not to have failed to do it if he did it without unreasonable delay after the excuse had ceased.

COMPLEXITY

THIS IS AN EXTRACT TAKEN FROM A REPORT PRODUCED BY CONSULTANTS WHO HAD TO RECOMMEND HOW TO IMPROVE PRODUCTIVITY.

The large development programme which is still continuing, the likely demands for progressive improvement of facilities, coupled with the very high interest rates now ruling, and the comprehensive reconstruction of manning structures, wages and terms of employment, confront the ports with a situation in which, giving all due weight to the benefits to be expected from increased management and operating efficiency, disposal of out-of-date assets and other measures within the control of management, it appears clear to the Council that it will be difficult to achieve a satisfactory and continuing financial net surplus.

Pin ot s

Ti h n
5

P k i c
sentences or less - in each paragraph

Ue s

Ke e

If a document looks heavy, (lots of words and very little white space) it puts off readers. Make sure each paragraph covers only one topics. Then make sure there are no more than 5 sentences in each paragraph.

EXERCISE
Divide the following text into paragraphs. D-Line will be launched in May. Our development engineers have done full justice to the objectives that we set them on this timescale. D-Line will be the most advanced desktop publishing package on the market. We are competing with some outstanding business software. However our research shows that customers are hazy about the differences between the various offerings. It is vital that our launch sets D-Line apart from its rivals. As a starting point, please do some investigation of our competitors recent promotional activities. Talk to distributors and users. Send me a note of your findings by Friday February 20th.

EXERCISE

D-Line will be launched in May. Our development engineers have done full justice to the objectives that we set them on this timescale. D-Line will be the most advanced desktop publishing package on the market.

We are competing with some outstanding business software. However our research shows that customers are hazy about the differences between the various offerings. It is vital that our launch sets D-Line apart from its rivals.

As a starting point, please do some investigation of our competitors recent promotional activities. Talk to distributors and users. Send me a note of your findings by Friday February 20th.

commas maximum - punctuation improves

meaning
The 2 secrets to understanding punctuation are: What is punctuation? How much can you fit into a 14 word sentence?

Punctuation is timepeople often describe it as a pause the reader takes, when they come to the punctuation mark. However each pause is not of the same length. - A comma is the shortest pause - A full stop the longest - Colons and Semi-colons are in between. As well as this remember that a sentence can only relate to one idea. New idea, new sentence! When we use bullets we are writing one sentence but breaking it up into small easy to read chunks. So, how much punctuation can you fit into a 14 word sentence? The answer is not much! Most people who have trouble with punctuation write with sentences which are far too long.

Write shorter sentences and punctuation problems disappear.

P N T A IO I M A U E O TM U CUT NS E S RS F I E

So s h rte t

; :
I D E A

L n et ogs

nd

-write actively!

This is not a guide to good grammar. However,one or two simple pieces of sentence construction can help. When we write in an inactive way sentences are longer, What also happens is that the subject of the sentence gets pushed to the end. The reader has to go back over the sentence to make sense of it. Many people write this way because thats how they learnt to write at school. Writing using passive verbs deadens a sentence and makes it longer. Like this:

The computer was switched on by Tony....7 words

Tony switched on the computer..................5 words

The subject comes first, then the verb the doing word and then the object, so the reader can take in the meaning of the sentence as they go along. When you write, make your verbs active.

Subject firstTony Then the verb.switched Then the object..computer

Thats all the grammar in this booklet!

Exercise 4 Can you change these examples of passive verbs into active ones?
This matter will be considered by us shortly

The tenants car was stopped by the police

The Civic Centre had to be closed by the manager

Sometimes you should use a passive verb: this bill has not been paid is less accusing than you have not paid this bill. If you want to avoid taking the blame and Im sure weve all seen this phrase in official letters and newspaper reports you could say a mistake was made instead of we made a mistake.

Try it and apply it

Legal documents are often littered with extra words that fog the meaning and dont need to be there - try this extract from the EXtraLet brochures:

If the works to the property are substantial or structural the Council may require a building surveyor, architect, structural engineer or other specialist to be employed to specify and supervise the works.

It could be shortened and clarified to:

If substantial or structural work is needed, the Council may ask for a building surveyor, architect, structural engineer or other specialist to supervise the works.

Here is a piece that caught the eye of Harold Evans, who was the editor of the Sunday Times: can you shorten it and make the meaning clearer?

The Town Clerk said: The committee reluctantly decided to defer consideration of this request and to ask the owners to meet them to discuss the reasons for, and the implications of, the owners proposal.

Harold rewrote it like this:

The Town Clerk said: The committee reluctantly decided to ask the owners to meet them to discuss the proposal.

To hammer home the point, Evans commented that Nelsons signal, England expects that every man will do his duty lives on.

Neither the sentence nor the English fleet would have survived, he says, if Nelson had signalled It is the national expectation that all serving personnel will complete their tasks to satisfaction.

Here are some long phrases: how would you shorten them?

You should just think of it as a complete statement

Writers should try to be concise

They should be divided where suitable

CHECKING
Proof read 3 times and get someone else to check
We all know a well-written paragraph from a bad one, but its not always easy to work out whats wrong.

When you are writing something, read what you have written to yourself, as if you had never seen it before: if you need to go over a sentence a second time to get the sense of it, it needs rewriting. A well-placed comma or turning round a couple of words can make all the difference.

Newsletter proofreading Theyre known miss steaks in the newsletter cause we used special soft wear witch cheques your spelling. It is mower or lass a weigh too verify. How ever is can knot correct arrows in punctuation ore usage: and it will not fined words witch are miss used butt spelled rite. Four example; a paragraph could have mini flows but wood bee past by the spell checker. And it wont catch the sentence fragment which you. Their fore the massage is that proofreading is knot eliminated, it is still berry much reek wired.

Appendix 1 ANSWERS EXERCISE 1

None of the answers are wrong! Dictionaries do not contain what words mean. They contain how words are being used in the year the dictionary is printed. Each answer in the exercise is a top 5 way the words were being used in 1991.

1.

INFER

(e)

be led to believe

2.

DEFINITIVE

(e)

unchangeable

3.

PROPOUND

(a)

suggest

4.

VIABLE

(e)

capable of living

5.

OPTIMISE

(c)

use in the best way

Appendix 2

EXERCISE 3
1) If the claim is late and you have a reasonable excuse, we will think about it.

2)

The Council will have difficulty in achieving a profit because of:

Continued development

On-going need to improve facilities

High interest rates

Reorganisation of staffing arrangements.

These are unlikely to be offset by improved efficiency and selling assets.

The lo

The lo

An abs Accele Accom

The lo
that

The lo For th

Facilit

The lo

Repre

Requi

Statut

Appendix
FOG INDEX
The readability of a report can be checked in many ways. One popular yardstick is that devised by, Robert Gunning. He describes any writing that is heavy to read as foggy. The Fog Index is calculated in the following way:

1. Take a passage of 100 words (approximately) 2. Count the number of words in the passage. 3. Count the number of sentences in the passage. 4. Divide the number of words by the number of sentences to find the average: i. WORDS ii. -----------= iii. SENTENCES

AVERAGE WORDS PER SENTENCE

5. Count the number of Polysyllabic (with 3 or more syllables) words in the passage. E.g. Fundamental, Computerisation, Disentangle. Also any Latin/Greek/jargon! DO NOT count

Capitalised words

Combined/ hyphenated short words, e.g. Stock-keeping

Short words made into 3 syllables by adding -ed, -es or -ing, e.g Debated, Appraises, Trumpeting.

6)

Divide the number of polysyllabic words by the number of words in the passage and multiply by 100. This will give you the percentage of difficult words in the passage.

POLYSYLLABIC WORDS ---------------------------------- x 100 TOTAL WORDS = % POLYSYLLABIC WORDS

7)

Add the average words per sentence to the percentage of polysyllabic words and multiply by 0.4.

AVERAGE WORDS/SENTENCES + PERCENTAGE POLYSYLLABIC WORDS X 0.4 = FOG INDEX

Fog Index = The number of years of education required to understand the passage.

Exercise 2 A good exercise is to buy copies of the daily papers on the day you run a training session. Have the trainees carry out the fog exercise and compare the scores. More people read the Sun than the Financial Times, because they can understand it.

Documents for Residents work best if pitched between the Sun and Daily mail.

Appendix
'From'
Sir Winston Churchill, 9 August 1940

Memo to the War Cabinet

'To do our work, we all have to read a mass of papers. Nearly all of them are far too long. This wastes time, while energy has to be spent in looking for the essential points. I ask my colleagues and their staff to see to it that their reports are shorter. The aim should be reports which set out the main points in a series of short, crisp paragraphs. If a report relies on detailed analysis of some complicated factors, or on statistics, these should be set out in an appendix. Often the occasion is best met by submitting not a full-dress report, but an aide-memoire consisting of headings only, which can be expanded orally if needed. Let us have an end of such phrases as these: 'It is also of importance to bear in mind the following considerations', or 'Consideration should be given to the possibility of carrying into effect'. Most of these woolly phrases are mere padding, which can be left out altogether, or replaced by a single word. Let us not shrink from using the short expressive phrase, even if it is conversational. Reports drawn up on the lines I propose may first seem rough as compared with the flat surface of officialese jargon. But the saving in time will be great, while the discipline of setting out the real points concisely will prove an aid to clearer thinking.'

WinstonC
Sir Winston Churchill

EXERCISE REWRITE
This is a difficult exercise. When we have to explain financial matters things get difficult. The letter below was a real one sent to the client. Can you re-write this following the 5 golden rules? Dear Wing Commander

Caution - Cheque valid for one calendar month only

Further to my recent letter, I have made enquiries regarding the above and would comment as follows: If a cheque is guaranteed by a U.K. cheque guarantee card, with the card number written on the reverse of the cheque by the payee we are only able to return such a cheque if it is not signed or the signature does not agree with that of the Guarantee Card. Therefore, should a cheque be presented after one calender month of issue, drawn against a cheque card, correctly signed, we will be obliged to pay it. It is standard banking practice to honour a cheque for a period of six months from the date of issue. It would therefore not be possible to return a cheque within that time marked out of date. We would be prepared to return such cheques marked Payment countermanded by order of drawer, to clearly indicate to the payee that we are acting under your instructions and that the cheque is not being returned for any other reason. We must point out, however, that such action would not, in our opinion, avoid your ultimate liability to the terms, provided it is placed in a prominent position on the face of the cheque. However, whilst we will take all reasonable steps to comply with your wishes, we are not prepared to accept liability for any cheque paid by us, which might be presented more than one calendar month after the date of issue.

Would you please let me know if you are happy to proceed on the above basis.

Yours sincerely

EXERCISE REWRITE- ANSWER

Dear Wing Commander

I have made further enquiries since my last letter. We are only able to return a cheque guaranteed by a U.K cheque guarantee card with the card numbers written on the reverse by the payee when: it is not signed the signature does not agree with that of the guarantee card.

We are obliged to pay cheques presented: after one calendar month drawn against a cheque card correctly signed.

Banking practice is to honour a cheque for six months from the date of issue. Cheques cannot be returned marked out of date, within six months. However, cheques could be returned stamped, Payment countermanded by order of drawer. The payee will then know we are acting under your instructions but you would still ultimately be liable to the payee. We have no objection to using the stamp. Provided: it is prominent on the cheque front

you realise we cannot accept liability for any cheque paid by us presented more than one calendar month after the date of issue.

I hope this clarifies the situation. Please let me know if you are happy to go ahead.

Yours sincerely