Fame and fortuna

"Welcome to Sittard" the cab driver proudly coughed as he scampered to pick up my bag. He seemed like a jolly little man. One of those annoying jolly little men that has no fucking reason to be jolly. The cab stank of cheap cigars and engine oil. I was already dreading the short ride to the training ground. We had barely pulled out when he started to blabber on about his family, between "uh-huhs" and "oh-ok's" I started to daydream about the real reason I was here. Fortuna Sittard. I had played for the club's junior team briefly as a child before my family moved to Eindhoven. That's how I met Tommy, my current boss. He was a skinny little kid with a runny nose back then. He went on to make a small fortune manufacturing chemicals before a dawn raid by the ECA shut him down, Tommy was a dodgy bastard. I pursued the life of a journeyman footballer. We had kept in touch over the years and when the previous manager Wim got annoyed with not being paid Tommy called me. I wasn't in it for the money. It started to rain lightly as I paid the driver and fumbled in my bag for an umbrella. The training ground looked a lot smaller than I remembered it. "How the fuck are ya Johan" I heard a voice boom from behind me. "Hey Tommy". His palm was greasy as I shook his hand. Straight away I could tell something was wrong. Most of the time Tommy was a fun guy to be around, sure he was a schemer and a con man but it was hard not to like the guy. Today his happy go lucky demeanour seemed a little forced though. "How's things?" I asked, trying to catch his eyes. "ah,well....yeh" was all he could manage. "Lets get inside out of the rain" I suggested.

As we climbed a set of stairs I almost bumped into a petite blonde woman in her early twenties carrying a large box of documents. "Hey Rebecca" Tommy lulled. "Hi Tommy" she cooed. "sorry" was all I got out before we barged into the office. "You Fucking her Tommy?" I asked with a grin. " What do you think?" He winked. "You old dog" I snorted. We chatted about the old days and some people we both knew for a while before I asked "What's really happening Tommy?". It was time to get down to business. "We're fucked" Tommy said with a grimace. He wasn't the kind of guy to throw the towel in easy so I knew this must be serious. I rubbed the back of my scalp and asked "How bad?". "Fucking bad" Tommy shook his head. "Those pricks at the KNVB Rebecca are trying to shut us down". "Motherfuckers" I mumbled in consolation. The KNVB wanted tommys ass bad. He had been using the clubs funds to finance a lavish lifestyle for the past decade and it got right up the noses of the corrupt officials. He'd even sold the stadium. "Can't you just put some money in the right hands?" I asked hopefully. "Not this time" he said with a frown "I don't have any fucking money". We poured over the problem for the next few hours and gradually came up with a plan.

Tommy

2
Reaching into a secret compartment in my bag I pulled out my stash. This called for a spliff. I sat out on the balcony of the hotel and watched the smoke lazily drift away on the breeze and thought it all over again in my head. The Bad. Tommy needed four hundred k to make our problem with the KNVB go away. The bank needed another four hundred by January. All of the first team players contracts that were up at the end of the year. The Good? We had 45 players on our team that were worth something. The Plan. Flog off as many of the rejects as for as much as we can get. Resign the first team players and hope to fuck their value rises. Flog them off in January. All we had to do this season was get out of financial trouble and avoid relegation into the abyss that is Dutch amateur football. Some of the kids on the team look like they could have a bright future so I'll give them a run out as well. At worst we might get some cash for them. Ultimately we were aiming to get back in the eredivisie within 3 seasons. The dutch promotion system can be a real bitch. Fotuna had nothing to lose.

Wim's old assistant Roel had been calling me constantly trying to keep his job. The guys a dick but I think I can use him for a couple of weeks before I bring my guy in. I met Roel early the next morning for a coaches meeting. What a sorry bunch of incompetent old farts these guys are. No wonder we suck. The only guy I have any time for is Thijs Moonen. The rest will be lining up at the unemployment office in a few days. I got Roel to ring some clubs around Europe to organise friendly s. At least he managed to do that ok. He even got Leverkusen for the 8th of July, I am sure all the WAG wannabes of Sittard will be thrilled. The rest will be against clubs of our own level. The guys looked down and I think smashing a few Belgian and Italian clubs around the park will cheer them up no end. I sent Roel down to the shops for some coffee and me and Thijs sat down to look over the squad for the coming season.

Fortuna's training ground. It'll have to do for now.

Me having to stop Roel from chasing a loose ball onto the freeway

Goalkeeper Not too many problems here. Danny Wintjens has played at Eredivisie level before and he could still play at that level. He's a lanky bastard. 6"7 and only 73kg's. Pim Gubbels will do for backup right now. We even have a promising youngster in Bartek Pakiela that looks like he could be backup in a year or two

Fullback

Two quality right backs and no good left backs? bah. The old warhorse Fernando Ricksen has won the Europa League and a couple of Russian titles as well as representing Holland 12 times. He will probably only play for the season but brings something a lot of my guys don't have, Experience. Bonus is he wants to be a scout when he retires. Really looking forward to sending him to the Fernando former USSR to scout prospects. Roel cracked some joke about in soviet Russia player scouts you, but nobody laughed. Douche. I had a brief chat with Fernando about it and he wanted to start right away. Talk about keen. Unfortunately we need him this season. Rick Geenen isn't good enough to play in the top flight but I think he will do a decent job at this level. I will try moving him to the left side as he seems versatile enough. If that doesn't work someone will have to come in January.

Theres a few kids as well. Randel Shakison says he's a left back but I really think a defensive midfield position would suit him better. The guys a nutter. Philip Derichs does some things well but I doubt he'll ever be the complete package. Noah Jaspers cracked a hissy fit when I told him he would be playing in the reserves. Dude thinks he's a star before he's played a game. I set him straight on a few things but I can't see his ego lasting long around these parts. Apparently theres a french guy that plays left back around here somewhere as well. He's not very good at it though.

Centre D

Zarko Grabovac is a beast. Not very talented or smart but big and strong. He works hard and the fans love him for it. Nearly clocked up 200 appearances for the club as well. Just the kind of big dumb bastard I need to anchor my defence. Other teams know this as well and want him bad. But Zarko no want to leave. Zarko stay.

Zarko stunned by a journo when asked how an offside trap works

Gino Facenna isn't much smarter than zarko, he certainly isn't as tall. He is quick and aggressive though. Perfect partner for zarko. I like the cut of his jib.

Ferd Pasaribu has a dodgy half grown moustache, always a handy thing to have on your team. He plays a lot like Gino but has more upside.

Guliano Diaz is a big bastard. He's piss-weak though. Has the potential to be a good eredivisie defender if he beefs up.

The youth system is churning out some quality centre backs. Ferd's Moustache Fatih Turan in particular looks like he can step up right away. Theres four of five that could make the grade. Problem is they are all extremely weak. I really need to buy these kids some weights.

Centre Mid

Yoann de Boer is a moody Frenchman. Not particularly good or bad at anything except being angry which he excels at. Perfect captain material.

Ramon Voorn could be a good player at a lot of positions but theres always a couple of things that let him down. Too good to sell right now but not really good enough to be a key player. He wants to be paid like a key player though. Think Ill keep him for now

Lars Gulpen this kid is going places. He's only 16 and is probably the most talented member of the team. Nice little creative midfielder. Hopefully I can build the team around him Looks like he is willing to stab you if you fuck with him but its probably only teenage angst?

Badre Kotbani's Dodgy moustache isn't as impressive as ferd's so he will have to go. Last thing I want is a fucking moustache rivalry.

I was looking over the team sheets when I noticed something very weird, theres two players called Yannick Van Geneugden. What the fucks going on here. One is a little white guy that plays centre mid the other is a big black guy that plays defence. Then I noticed the two Fatih Turan's Thijs pulled me aside and told me Tommy had been pulling talented kids out of Africa and registering them as Belgians.

Jeezus Christ. No wonder the KNVB want him. We'd better keep this quiet for now. They both seem like they will be good players. Midfielder Yannick will probably crack the first team this season. He's a great passer for his age. Theres a few more coming behind him as well.

Wingers

Anthony Di Lallo Has the complete package. fast car, hot girlfriend and talent to burn. He's Belgian so he probably knows kung-fu as well. Going to have a hard time keeping hold of this guy. Sebastiano Garlisi a bit like Anthony but he only has a Datsun 240z and his girlfriend is kind of fat. Probably only knows Taekwondo. Think he will have to go

Joeri Schroynen Found his first name very hard to pronounce. Going to call him Joey. Think he might just make it. Has a cute crooked smile/snarl that I like.

Martijn Stefani about the only thing coming out of the youth team that could make it.

Forwards

Fabio Carcciolo. Good finisher. Not really fast enough but the rest of the team

think he's awesome. He does too. Seems to enjoy fucking about in training which doesn't fly with me. I can tell this guy is going to piss me off.

Mohamed Riyani a stud. Good in the air, fast and can finish. Only 18 as well. Kind of weak though.

Thijs Nieuwland Pretty much exactly the same as Riyani. looking forward to developing these two

Marwan Aitjdag Looks good but I have a feeling he won't get any better. Probably going to piss me off as well. Will try get him a few goals then sell him on.

Gavrey Villareal doesn't seem like much to me but other teams are all over him. Quickest 150k we'll ever make.

Theres a few kids and a midget kicking around in the youth team. Dean Kallis is one for the future in the riyani mould.

I went to see Tommy about the twin Yannicks and Fatihs but he and Rebecca were busy doing some "filing" so I chucked a list of players to get rid of on Rebeccas desk and left. Thijs was left in charge of pre-season training and I got Roel to drive me back to the hotel. He had one of those trolls with the weird hair from the 90's hanging from his rear vision mirror. I tried to ignore it.