Dump The Junk Ebook

Dump A guide to discovering your
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All Rights Reserved. 2010 The Center for Authentic Self Development http://thecenterforauthenticselfdevelopment.com
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THE CENTER FOR AUTHENTIC SELF DEVELOPMENT
Dump The Junk (& Be Happy)

A Guide to Discovering Your Authentic Self
Published by the Center for Authentic Self Development 5/1/2010
A collection of inspirational stories to help you discover your authentic self, recognize your crossroads motivate you.
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The Center for Authentic Self Development
You do not have resell rights to this book. All rights reserved for the entire book and contents. Reproduction of translation of any part of this work by any means without the expression permission of the publisher is unlawful.
Special Note: This edition of Dump The Junk (and BE Happy!) is designed to provide information and motivation to our readers. It is given away with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged to render any type of psychological, legal, or any other kind of professional advice. The content of each article is the sole expression and opinion of its author, and not necessarily that of the publisher. No warranties or guarantees are expressed or implied by the publishers choice to include any of the content in this volume. Neither the publisher nor the individual author(s) shall be liable for any physical, psychological, emotional, financial, or commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential or other damages. Our views and rights are the same: You are responsible for your own choices, actions, and results.
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Dedicated to all the amazing women out there who need a gentle push in the right direction. Here is a bit of courage and inspiration to get you truly living this amazing trip we call life.
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Contents
Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 Kimberly Englot ~Get Happy! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 I had all the things that added up to happiness, and yet I wasnt happy Sally Shields ~Lost In Translation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 When someone says something hurtful, it usually means that theyre hurting Andrea Costantine ~ True to Ones Own Spirit . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 A difficult decision freed up the energy and allowed the space for me to create without worry or fear Saskia Roell ~ Dump The Junk . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35 We all have dreams, but we postpone them, thinking, maybe or one day. But if you dont have the guts to do it now, why would you do it later Linda Joy ~ Choosing to Live a Joyful, Inspired Life . . . . . . .43 I have a choice about this pain, my life, my feelings and my heartache
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Aimee Yawnick ~ Sifting Through My Junk . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51 A freedom to stand in a place of empowerment and confidence about my choices and decisions, and know the direction is exactly right for me Anisa Aven ~ Being Authentic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59 Being authentic is more than speaking your truth or doing what feels good Maryanne Comaroto ~ The Power of a Daily Spiritual Practice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67 This is your life. You only have one. Now would be a good time to decide how much youre worth Kim Page Gluckie ~ My Truth? Im imperfect. . . . . . . . . . . . . 75 Ditching the mental junk around who Im supposed to be has allowed me to be flexible to seeing who I can be, without limits Gina Bell ~ Fake it Till You Make It? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81 Faking anything sounds terrible (and inauthentic) but the core intention has a great deal of merit Filling the trash bag and dumping it on the curb . . . . . . . . . . . 87 What should you do next? Dump The Junk! The Motivation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89 The Courage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91 The Strategy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92
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Introduction
Dump The Junk. Seems like common, sense, right? I mean, why would anyone want to hang on to a bunch of stuff that isnt working anymore? Except everyone does it. Until a few years ago, I was desperately clinging to a life schedule and mindset that didnt work for me. I had people in my life that werent good for me and were causing me pain. And I was tortured, and therefore torturing those around me with negativity, whining and complaining! Im lucky. I woke up one morning and got it, but youll read more details about my story below. Its time for you, too, to Dump the Junk and Be Happy! Once you do that, life, opportunities and love surround you. Youre free to be you, and nothing else matters. Youre happy for no reason, no matter what, always! The ladies I invited to co-author this book with me, are all 100% Genuine! They walk the walk and talk the talk, and wouldnt have it any other way. Sure weve all had different experiences, and grew up in difference circumstances (some in different countries) but one thing remains the same: We were called to something greaterAnd Listened! Youll read different terms being used to refer to God. Source, the Universe, Source Energy, the Law of Attraction, even Authentic Self, Intuition and Inner Spirit, but all those words mean the same thing: You already know the path. You just need to uncover it, and find the courage to listen.
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That is what the book is meant to do, inspire you to Dump your Junk and take a leap of faith (in yourself) to do what your true spirit is calling you to do! Grab a cup of tea, glass of wine, or hot chocolate and get cozy. Youre going to want to settle in for the night and read this cover to cover. Print out a copy, and scribble thoughts as your read. Highlight, dog ear, and flag areas that you need to revisit. Use this book as a starting manual for your new, improved, Junk-Free life! Enjoy. Love & Light,
Kimberly Englot
President and Founder of The Center for Authentic Self Development
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Get Happy!
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. Mohandas Gandhi The authentic self is the true self, the highest self. It is what is left when you strip away all material possessions, personality traits, labels, and ego. It is love. When you are aligned with your authentic self, you are peaceful, content and in the moment. You are in integrity with what you are saying and doing, and you are following your passions. It is easy to be happy when you are being your authentic self. That being said, it isnt always easy to find and listen to that authentic selfsometimes its really covered up with Junk! I am the perfect example of that. My Story: Thencirca 2005 - 2007 I have always wanted to help people be happy. In my world, this meant studying psychology and becoming a counselor. So that is exactly what I did, and as planned, I ended up in my dream job, as a counselor for a school. Everything SHOULD have been great. Life was working out almost exactly as my Time Line said it should.
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University Degree Perfect Job Money My own apartment Fianc
I should have been happy, I was right on track. Then the stress got to me, the lack of results got to me, and the fact that I felt so small compared to the huge problems the kids facedI felt insignificant. I remember thinking, This cant be IT? Why am I still unhappy, when I have everything I thought I needed to be happy? Why is this still NOT IT? I pushed the problem under the rug, got married, moved to a new place and started a new job. I thought maybe this would be itand it still wasnt. This time the stress of the job (I HATED itI was working as a lifestyle counselor in a weight loss center) made me gain weight rapidly, which then (being a big no-no in a weight loss clinic) made my self esteem plummet too. Being unhappy made me fat! So I got a new job, in a school, working in the Special Education department and with kids who needed extra help in math, English and social skills. This still wasnt IT, either. I thought I would never be happyand it was killing me because on the outside, I was supposed to be happy. Everything should have been perfect. I just got to a point where I was so unhappy. I was angry and resentful, and jealous of everyone else! I wasnt fun to be around and all I did was whine and complainmy poor husband! At last I hit rock bottom. I was talking with my husband about something, and I said, Oh, I HATE that.. and he just looked at me casually and said, Oh, Kim.you hate everything. THEN I realized exactly what I had done. I turned into a big, ugly complainer. I couldnt find anything good to say, EVER! I always looked for the bad.
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I couldnt possibly go any lower and I said, Enough is Enough! I am following a dream. I dont know how it will turn out, and people will think I am crazy, but I am doing it! In this rock bottom place, I had no other choice but to follow my authentic self. I let my scientific, over-analytic, no-tolerance-for-fluff pride aside and got myself a copy of The Secret. I LOVED IT, and I threw myself into everything Law of Attraction and inspirational. It was a perfect fit and EXACTLY what I was looking for. And it gave me the perspective change, and empowered me to take my life into my own hands. Two months later I had my company, a website, and some ideas. They werent very good, but I was in motionand when Im moving I am unstoppable! I got a new job as a writer/editor to help support me as I began to grow my business. The job wasnt my passion, but it was an okay fit. I didnt fight it like the others, plus it let me play in my business. I woke up to my true potential, hired my own coach (which terrified me and filled me with doubt) and havent looked back since. Now I am a completely different person. I am so much happier. My husband has noticed a huge differencehe is happier now too! My family has seen a difference, and I dont let things get to me the way they used to. Life is simpler now, and I have a trust in myself and the future (some call that resilience) that I didnt have before. When I finally decided to listen to my authentic self, the world opened up all of these opportunities! People, places and resources just naturally fell into place. The money is always there now, because I have my priorities straight and Im not spending to fill a hole in my spirit. Im surrounded by really great people who support me, and prop me up when I need it. And I also have a great coach who believes in me, when I dont, and guides me when I need it.
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I listened to my authentic self and it told me to follow my passion, clear out toxic people, stop listening to my inner critic, trust in my ability and in God, clear out my life clutter, get my life vision in order and set my true priorities. I did all of that (and continually do it daily) and that is what made the difference in my happiness. Time for a Check-In: How do YOU know if youre living authentically? How do you feel? Is your life harmonious? Are you happy at work? With your husband and kids? Is your house tidy and clean? How are you sleeping and eating, and do you exercise? If you are unhappy, unfit and unhealthyyou can feel it, and it doesnt feel good. And dont give me the excuse that you dont have enough time! When you have priorities, a life vision and support, you have enough time. You also learn that when you fill yourself first, everyone around you benefits. Where does happiness fit into this authentic life? When you are living your life, your way, you are happy because you are able to express yourself freely, without judgment. You feel appreciated and loved unconditionally. Nothing is forced. The last few years I have noticed a few things that set Happy People apart from everyone else. You can probably recognize these traits in other people, and hopefully a few in yourself, too. Things Ive discovered about happy people: 1. Love and Accept themselves. Happy people are comfortable with who they are. They understand they are not perfect. They make bad decisions sometimes. But they take responsibility and move on, learning from the mistake and knowing that they have grown from the experience. Happy people operate under the mantra: "after all, everything works out in the end if you trust yourself. 2. Act Intentionally. Happy people are very aware of their feelings and emotions. They act intentionally to surround themselves with positive emotions. They also avoid negative people and circumstances, if
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possible. They act with purpose, knowing the consequences of their behavior. 3. Don't have "Shoulds." They know that "shoulds" contaminate life. 4. Leave Negativity Behind. (See #5) 5. Make an Effort to Enjoy Life Experiences. Many of us are so used to being negative, and are surrounded by negativity, that even joyful experiences turn into chores. We need to eliminate the "shoulds" and make room for good things in life. It's hard to get excited for Christmas if you're spending all of your time and money because you "should." Save that time and money for what really matters to you. Now, no "shoulds" doesn't mean you get to avoid all things you don't want to do. Some things still have to be done, but you can always change your perspective on those things. Don't volunteer because you should; do it because you get a great sense of personal fulfillment and satisfaction from doing so. Don't do the dishes because you should; do it because you have pride in your home and a tidy, organized space allows you to focus on more important things. 6. Make Peace with the Imperfection of Others. Because happy people love themselves, and understand that they're not perfect, they are better able to empathize with another's imperfect behavior. Sometimes people we love spill things, are late, and forget to pick up milk. This happens in life and there is no point in getting stressed over it. Move on. However, don't confuse this with tolerating purposeful bad behavior. If someone continually is late, always complains, doesn't respect you, and you don't feel good about them being around, ever, you might want to consider ending this toxic relationship. Or at least spend less time with them. 7. Have a Plan, but are Flexible. Happy people have goals and ambitions. They have a plan laid out for their life. They put effort into getting results, but they understand that not everything goes as planned. Have flexibility and tolerance for when things go wrong. Remember, "everything works out in the end."
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Does being happy mean that you never get upset, angry or frustrated? Or that you constantly have to have a smile on your face and pretend that everything is okay? NO! So many people misunderstand happiness. They think that happy is the smile on your face. This isnt true. Maybe a better way to describe happiness is: contentment, peace and joy. I consider myself to be happy. That doesnt mean that I go around walking on air every day with a huge grin on my face. It also doesnt mean that I pretend to be happy when Im not (that would be inauthentic!). I feel my emotions as they come, but I do not dwell. Utter elation comes and goes just like sadness or anger. So when I find myself experiencing an emotion that I dont want to feel (anger, jealousy, frustration) I ask myself where it is coming from, if I can do anything about it, and then I take action. I trust in the fact that whatever I do will turn out, even if it looks a little messy in the short term. THAT is happinesstrusting myself, and God, to lead me in a direction that I need to be. Your life is the exact result of your choices. Every single choice you have made results in the life you have now. When you continually make choices that are in conflict with what you think and say you want, you have a problem. Right now, the problem lies in the fact that the choices you are making may not be aligned with what you actually want. Youre limiting yourself by living on default, living unconsciously. Once you get to the bottom of the unconscious choices, the limiting beliefs, and decide to live in the moment, you have the power to change them. One Last NoteThe BIGEST Obstacle to Happiness The biggest obstacle to happiness is should. Whenever this word pops up, it is related to an expectation or an obligation. Listen for it, and youll notice how often you say yes to things youre not fully interested, because you are afraid of letting others down, looking mean, or having someone not like you. When you notice the should and ask yourself if this is something you really want to do, you take back your power and your happiness. Create a life vision plan and arrange you priorities so that they match! Dont just let things randomly happen. Spend time and think about what you want, then create a plan to put it into place! Hire a coach if you need to,
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do what you need to do to live the life you want, because you only get once chance to live a fun, fantastic life. 2010 Kimberly Englot About the author: Kimberly Englot is the President and Founder of the Center for Authentic Self Development. She is your source of courage so that you can put yourself back on your mile-long To-Do list WITHOUT feeling guilty or selfish. You can grab some fabulous free resources and learn more about Kimberly at http://kimberlyenglot.com/.
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Time and time again, I see my clients struggle with their Mothers-in-Law (MIL). This is the relationship most likely to have issues (I surveyed my clients, and discovered Boss and Spouse to be next in line). And because of that #1 ranking, I knew it was necessary to cover the Mother-in-Law dynamic in my Master Life Cleanse: Happiness & Harmony Makeover program. Enter, Sally Shields! If you have trouble with your Mother-in-Law, you know that nothing causes more heartache or destruction in life. Sally really gets that, having been there. She managed to move past the problems and now teaches the importance of empathy and setting aside ego and pride when around toxic people. I cant emphasize enough how important this is, if only to save your own spirit! If you are dealing with a toxic person, and cant just leave them behind and continue with your life, I have one tip for you:
Always remember that people (all people) just want to be loved and acknowledged. Sometimes all you need to do is give them that.
If you can grasp that, and put it to use in your own relationships, you will be miles ahead of everyone else in the world.
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Lost in Translation
The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives Anthony Robbins To me, authentic self is when you can accept another person for who they truly are, without trying to change them. So how did I dump the junk and get happy? When I first got married, I was confused and exasperated, as the relationship with my mother-in-law was both contentious and fraught with misunderstandings and hurtful comments. I was constantly looking for my husband to validate my frustration about his mothers irritating ways and verbal barbs, but he refused to take sides. I knew I would have to change my approach or the relationship would continue to worsen over time. And once I started putting a few of these ideas into practice I saw that they actually worked, and that his mothers attitude toward me started to shift in a positive direction. I thought that if she and I could have a nonconfrontational and even pleasant rapport, then this philosophy really had something to it, and maybe I could help other young wives from needless contention right from the outset! Id lived with a difficult relationship for nearly a decade, and finally found a way to make my mother-in-law (MIL) my friend. Since I found that taking the traditional therapist methodology of talking it out just did not work, I turned to using a simple technique that landed me with immediate and positive results. And that angle was to truly and authentically uncover the real message behind her words, which I was interpreting as hurtful in my own mind. Sometimes people communicate things in ways that are heard entirely differently by the received, than the spirit in which they were meant.
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Case in point: I knew my MIL loved to have lots of pictures of the kids, so I spent hours sending digital photos over the web, as well as taking several weeks to learn the process of home video and how to transfer footage to a DVD for her viewing pleasure. However, when I finally delivered these gifts, the response I received was, Im the ONLY PERSON IN OHIO that doesnt get professional shots to hand out to her friends at Bingo! After a few weeks of stewing about this ostensibly deliberate dig, I realized that I wasnt my MIL didnt appreciated my efforts, but simply wanted something entirely different. It is almost like we were speaking different languages through an interpreter, and the true meaning was lost in translation. Had the conversation unfolded like the following, her message would have been very clear and I would have, at once, been delighted to oblige. MIL: Dear, I so appreciated all the lovely photos you send to me of the children! They make me smile every day and I know how hard you must have worked to learn all that new technology! You are so smart and I admire you so much! Now, please dont take this the wrong way, but in addition to all of the wonderful pictures that you send me on a daily basis, which I absolutely adore, as you know, would it also be possible to make a teensy, tiny request? And please let me know if this it just altogether too much trouble, but dear, might you consider, perhaps once a year, taking the children to the mall and going to one of those places where they can have one of those pictures taken with those adorable oversized carrots? Wouldnt that me so cute? That way, I could then show them off to my friends each week when I go to Bingo! You see, all the other grandmothers just LOVE to pass around their wallet sized pictures likes trading cards and I have been feelings just a teensy bit left outI know that might sound so silly to you, dear daughter-in-law, but I figured I would make the request just in case. My birthday IS coming up you know [wink, wink]! Now as you know, not everybody speaks the same language! So her version, although to my ears sounded like the most ungrateful thing in the world, was actually just a simple request, and it was my job to interpret the true meaning behind it. Because when someone says something hurtful, it often means that they are HURTING!
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So in conclusions, its about taking the time to make sure you are not reaction too fast, so that you can really figure out what the other person is trying to tell you, no matter how they are saying it. We should always try to give others the benefit of the doubt and put our stubbornness aside. It is always important to remember one of the greatest spiritual laws of success: the quickest way to get what you want is to help others get what they want. Be a loving, kind, generous, open hearted, sensitive person and the world will reflect that back to you (even in the form of your mother-in-law) and she may just surprise you and turn out to be an ally and a friend. Mine certainly did! 2010 Sally Shields About the author: Please visit Sally Shields, speaker, radio personality, free publicity specialist and author of the #1 Amazon.com bestseller, The Daughter-In-Law Rules on the web at http://www.thedilrules.com for contests, giveaways free bonus gifts, Sallys newsletter, free music.and MORE!
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Trying to be something youre not, pleasing others, living up to their expectations, fulfilling their obligationsall that junk takes a lot of energyWAY more energy than just being yourself and living your life. Andrea was on the brink of bankruptcy and her entire life was falling apart. She easily could have given up; no one would have blamed her. But from that place, a place that would have paralyzed most came true freedom; Freedom from fear and the courage to keep going because there is no place but up. Successful people keep going when everyone else gives up and that is exactly what Andrea did. Because she kept going, she looked fear in the face and dumped the junk.
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True to Ones Own Spirit
If youre going through hell, keep going. Winston Churchill By definition, authenticity means true to ones own spirit. Ive loved this definition for quite some time; its a base for us to understanding whether or not we are living an authentic life by simply checking in and asking if something really is true to our spirit. Prior to starting my business I had never contemplated the word authenticity and if I was living an authentic life. Now its a part of who I am. Knowing that a key to a successful business, a happy life, and a conscious path is through authenticity, it is on the forefront on my mind at all times. When I started my business two years ago I was hungry and eager to learn everything that I could about making it big and creating a thriving coaching practice. As I started devouring information left and right I soon became overwhelmed, stuck, and was moving nowhere fast. I went through a dark and devastating period asking the Universe why isnt anything working for me? As I searched more and more outside of myself I stayed in this stuck place. I had no money coming in and could not see a way out of it. That is when I made the desperate decision to file for bankruptcy. During this time I continued my search for success and what would work for me. I had been modeling multi-millionaire entrepreneurs, paid thousands of dollars for their programs and still nothing was happening. I started hearing a whisper that said everything you need is within you. Id hear it everywhere, all the time, until finally I shouted back Enough, I get it. And although I didnt actually understand, I did get that everything I needed was within me, yet I had been searching all along to find something outside of myself that would make me whole.
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From that point on I stopped modeling people the way I had in the past and instead started asking what about that person makes them attractive, what about that person makes their business successful? Those different questions brought on some different answers and I started seeing that it was their belief in themselves and their products and services, their alignment with what they offer, and being authentic with their audience that gave them an edge. And while most people on the surface probably wouldnt recognize that is why they were attracted to buying from that person, I could see it everywhere. The decision to file bankruptcy changed something within me; it freed up my energy and allowed the space for me to create without worry or fear. It is when I was able to see the truth of who I was being and why my business wasnt working. It gave me an opportunity to step back and breathe and find my true authentic path that was patiently waiting for me. As I waited for the filing of the bankruptcy to take place the decision started to unnerve me. I woke up in the middle of the night on a summer camping trip last July and knew the Universe was telling me not to file. I immediately went home, called my attorneys office and withdrew my paperwork. This created another huge shift for me. I started seeing how I could make it on my own terms and that following, copying, and modeling others wasnt the path for me. It was around this same time that my business started exploding and people started noticing me. I also began teaching the things that I learned from these experiences. The first was the Conscious Entrepreneur Attraction Factor, A/A + B = AF. Alignment with Authenticity, plus Belief equals your Attraction Factor out in the world. A formula that I have found to be the sole reason individuals are thriving or striving in their business. I began to move out of my comfort zone and for the first time began speaking to audiences and fully putting myself out there. Once terrified to raise my hand in front of a large group, I can now stand in front of a room full of people and simply be myself. From this place I was able to discover that my expertise was in a few areas. The first of which is Soulful Marketing, a way of marketing that is more about the being than the doing. A way of marketing that doesnt require that you do anything - theres no magic formula or system to copy and
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follow. It does however require you to go deep within and build your business from the core of who you are, from your authentic self. Its about identifying your soul-client and where your soul-market hangs out and then combine that with the marketing tasks you love and enjoy, with attractive energy and your business will flourish. While it is not a system, as for each person the process is unique, I found it to be the only thing to work for me and is working for many others as well. The second area that was shown to me during this time was my passion and commitment to service. I had heard others say its about being of service, not selling. Yet it never really clicked for me how I could simply be of service when I needed clients. But as the pieces of the Soulful Marketing Experience workshop came together, I saw that this was truly the foundational, underlying piece that will make your business grow. My passion for service is the core of who I am, its what makes me different and unique. I now help my clients to come from this place of service, to truly see their own value and what they offer to the world, believe in it wholly, and then market it in a way that has powerful attractive service energy behind it. My life had been total chaos, my business was failing, my relationship was struggling, and I felt lost and hopeless. Looking back now I realized that I had to get to that place of chaos in order to find my authentic self and to let it emerge into the light. I see now that it wasnt until this happened that I was truly able to find out who I was, what I stood for, and then go forward boldly and step into that authenticity. When I finally shed the layers of all that wasnt mine, a process for me that will continue for the rest of my life, I saw light, hope, and potential. I had to let go of envying others for where they were and acknowledge that each and every person has a different path in life. I had to follow my internal guidance and trust in a higher power. I had to be okay with doing it my way, even if that was different than conventional thought. I simply had to let go everything that wasnt my own that I had picked up along the way. I had to question everything that I believed in and stood for to find out if it was my own or if I was just copying and following others. I had to dig deep, and go within to find those answers.
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Authenticity to me is about being fully self-expressed, its about dropping the layers of shoulds and have-tos and being true to ones own spirit despite what anyone else thinks, says, or does. Authenticity means going deep within and operating from a place of whats right for me. Its about my connection with the Divine its about fully living my life purpose, its about standing in my power. Due to years of conditioning to fit in and go along with the pack, I still have to check in on a regular basis to ensure that I really am on my path. At times I find myself distracted, seeing the beauty of someone elses path and the allure it has, I am constantly checking my internal compass to ensure that I havent inadvertently hopped on someone elses path. When I recognize and come into awareness that I may have picked up something along the way that isnt mine, I simply return to the truth of me asking is this true to my own spirit? Sometimes, I will find that it is true to my spirit and Ill see the beauty and synchronicity of how someone elses path can show me something so magnificent and remarkable about my own authentic self. Other times, if it isnt true to my own spirit I simply give myself permission to let it go. Authenticity is a lifelong endeavor, it doesnt happen overnight, but the more you seek it the greater it will show itself. Since going through the chaos, shedding what wasnt mine, and stepping into my authentic self my whole world has changed. Trying to be someone or something you are not takes an enormous amount of energy, but being yourself is easy. In all authenticity, I will admit that I still face one fear around this issue though, one that comes up for me over and over again which is that of being seen. I go through patterns and cycles of fully putting myself out there and find myself retreating and looking for cover. Ive realized that an authentic life doesnt necessarily mean you wont face any fears, or that authenticity doesnt bring its own baggage, but amazingly the more I share who I am with others, the more real and authentic I am in my marketing, and in my speaking engagements the more people resonate with me and what I teach and believe in. Amazingly Ive found that although I still get scared about showing the real me that its the exact reason my business has been growing and expanding so rapidly. Its the exact reason I was able to turn around and go from bankrupt and no clients to where I am today, a great practice,
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powerful information products, programs, and other offerings that are changing peoples lives and businesses. Its the exact reason I can hold my head up high, stand tall and proud and know that what Ive created has emerged from my true authentic self. 2010 Andrea Costantine About the author: Andrea Costantine is often known as the Soulful Marketer, working with conscious-minded entrepreneurs to help them creatively and consciously share their gifts and talents with the world through believing in their value and being of service to others. Shes passionate about service, self-expression, and human potential. To find out more about Andrea visit her website and download your free Conscious Entrepreneur Kit at http://www.andreacostantine.com. Personally, Andrea completed her Masters of Science in Counseling Studies in 2009, resides in Denver, Colorado with her two cats, and loves yoga, reading, nature and traveling.
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Crossroads are fantastic opportunities to check-in with your authentic self and make sure that youre headed in the right direction for YOU. I love how Saskia uses her crossroads to ask, Where am I going because without an idea of where you want to go, and deliberate intent to get there, you can easily waste precious time wandering aimlessly and never actually make it to your dream destination. As Saskia shares, listening to your intuition can feel risky! And people will think youre crazy. But your spirit always guides with love, and if you have the courage to listen, life will take you on a magnificent journey. Leave the junk behind when listening to your authentic self. There is no room for junk, because junk attracts fear, and fear is detrimental to your ability to listen to your authentic self.
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Saskia Roell
Dump the Junk
Your experiences are not limited to what you have created in the past. Gary Zukav Define Authentic Self according to you. To live from my authentic self means to be in touch with my true essence, which I call my Soul. It means knowing that I am a unique expression of pure Source potential and can express my purpose through my passion, talents, and gifts. It means believing that the Universe supports me and I can make my wildest dreams come true. Anything is possible. Ive gone after all my dreams and I still do. The sky is not the limit. But its a matter of choice. You can either listen to the voice of doubt that stops you or listen to your authentic voice and obey. Ive always obeyed. I navigate through my life from the compass of my Soul, even though her guidance isnt always logical or easy to follow. The truth is, if I listen to that voice and dare to make extraordinary choices, I create extraordinary results. I also, of course, encounter extraordinary challenges, but thats life, and we make our dreams happen by choosing how we respond to those challenges. Ive made many extraordinary choices and shed quite a few tears, as well as experienced many miracles, on the road of authenticity. Years ago, I woke up one morning and had the epiphany that our family of seven should pack up, leave Holland, and move to America. After having gone through ten tumultuous years moving from Taiwan back to Holland, giving birth to five gorgeous children, starting my own coaching business, and my husband starting his own business our life in Holland seemed balanced and peaceful again. Wed weathered many storms and the waters of change had calmed down. We were thriving and felt on top of the wave. Why would we leave behind everything and everyone we loved? But my authentic self, my Soul, was loud and clear, telling me it was time to change
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the course of our lives again and start a new adventure in America. That meant moving to a country where we had no jobs or contacts. We had little money and five kids who didnt speak a word of English. The only thing we had was a house wed bought over the phone. But we followed the compass of my Soul anyway, left Holland, and set our sails to discover new lands. (You can read more about our adventure in my book A Suitcase Full of Faith: How One Woman Found Her Dream Listening to the Compass of Her Soul). How did we do it? We threw the junk overboard and traded in our certainties for the unknown, trusting that the winds of good fortune would blow us in the right direction. The suitcases we took along were filled with faith. How did you Dump the Junk (and get happy)? To make such a leap of faith, I had to dump the junk. You cant let junk (as I call the baggage of the past) weigh you down and delay your destiny. If you took all your junk along, your ship would sink and youd never reach the land of your dreams. We all have dreams we hold dear, but we postpone them, thinking maybe or one day well make them happen. If I dont have the guts to do it now why would I do it later? Junk from the past stops us. The only way to move forward is to let it go. Were always happier when we let the junk go, but often, instead, wed rather stick with what doesnt work than move forward into the new. People fear change and we all carry baggage from the past in the form of stories, conclusions, and beliefs about how life works and who we are. Unless we become aware of them, we remain limited in our expression of who we are and how we live our lives. Moving out of the comfort zone into new, uncharted territory feels scary, so we reason our way out of it, listening to the voice of fear that wants to keep us safe. But its the authentic voice, which operates from the heart, that knows whats best. Thats the voice to listen to, even if it doesnt seem safe. Ive made many decisions that seemed scary to others, but not to me because, deep down, I knew I had to follow my gut and listen to my inner guidance. I gave up my first marriage, my country, a job I dearly loved, my friends, and even became homeless along the way all while listening to my authentic voice.
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My courage came from trusting, from knowing that if I want to live a fulfilled life I must honor my authentic self. Were there any crossroads you had to reach first? Crossroads are a prelude to transformation. I love crossroads; theyre great opportunities to choose again. There have been many crossroads in my life. At each crossroads, I stopped and re-evaluated the script of my life, asking myself, Where am I going? And at each crossroads, my path of personal freedom and happiness requires me to let go of more junk. When I met my current husband, Syb, and shook his hand, my Soul whispered, This is the man of your life. Hes the one. I was shocked because I was already married and thought I was happily married. Why on earth would I listen to my Soul and leave my husband? But my Soul was very clear. She said, Do it. To make a long story short, I left my husband, even though my life was good. I loved him, but apparently he wasnt The One. That crossroads definitely made me reexamine my life. People advised me to stay in my marriage. I couldnt explain to them why Syb was The One. Rationally, my first husband had it all and my life in Singapore was fantastic, but I left him anyway, leaving myself with no money, no job, and no home. I was true to my authentic self and risked everything because I believed in the guidance of my Soul. I gave up my certainties to move to Taiwan and live with a man I barely knew. At that time, we'd only spent four days together since our initial meeting half a year earlier. But I couldnt care less, because my heart knew enough. We married the only Dutch couple according to Chinese tradition, with 12 other Chinese couples, and our first child was conceived in Taiwan. Now we have five children and a wonderful life in our new home in America. How has living authentically accelerated your success, happiness, health and wealth? Success, happiness, and wealth are related to living from a place of authenticity. When you be and do what you love, you find that success is feeling fulfilled with what you have in the present moment. Success doesnt necessarily mean that your bank account is full, although thats very welcome.
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When we moved to America, our friends in Holland often asked us how we were doing. They were really asking how much money we had in our bank account. Were we going to make it, or was it true that in the end such leaps of faith dont work in real life? Quite a few of them didnt really believe we could pull it off by starting on a shoestring. I can understand that, but Im glad that doubt didnt cross our minds. Doubt is such a detrimental emotion. It certainly doesnt move us forward. To start anew without any contacts was challenging. We needed all hands on deck to keep us going. There have been times when our income was very small but that never stopped us from feeling successful, happy, and wealthy because of all the good we did have. Mind you, we lived in the country of our dreams, we inhabited the house of our dreams, and our family life was, and is, tremendously rich. The bank account has taken a little more time (smile). I savor riches in the form of the obvious things, like a car that works, a roof above our heads, food on the table. By savoring, by making gratitude a daily practice, more of the same is attracted. Gratitude attracts success, happiness, wealth, and good health. (I host a short Gratitude Call at 7:00 a.m. EST every morning to help others share and practice gratitude, too.) Health is impacted by many things, obviously including the healthy choices we make to care for our bodies. If we listen to our authentic selves we know whats good for us on every level. When we learn to nourish ourselves from the inside out with healthy thoughts and healthy food choices, we create better health. Even though I was already grateful for all I had, since I started hosting the Gratitude Call eight months ago, my health has tremendously improved. Weve raised our kids with the awareness of knowing how to tune in to their authentic selves for guidance and support. By example, we taught them how to make healthy choices not only for their physical health but their overall well-being. We showed them how to ask and answer the question, What makes you feel good? Deep down, we each know the truth. We only need to learn to listen. In my work as a Transformational Life Coach and Courage Coach, I help people listen to their authentic selves. We look at the baggage of the past
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thats in the way. I help people let go of the junk that holds them back so they find the freedom to make authentic choices and live a life they love. 2010 Saskia Roell
About the author: Saskia Rell is a Transformational Life Coach, Courage Coach, best-selling author, and the mother of five. She walks her talk and teaches what she naturally knows: how to let the soul lead the way. In her best-selling book A Suitcase Full of Faith: How One Woman Found Her Dream Trusting the Compass of Her Soul, she shows how its done. Learn more about her at http://www.illuminatedtransformation.com/.
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You can choose. This might sound crazy, but its true. You have all the power and wisdom necessary to create the amazing life you dream of. There is good and bad to this kind of power. Good, because you empower yourself to dream big and accomplish it. Bad, because you must take responsibility for the results you are getting in your life. This can be difficult, but is very freeing. Claim this power as yours. Regardless of what has happened in your past, you have all the power you need right now to change your life. Its a matter of clearing the fear, jealousy, resentment so that you can hear the whispers of your authentic self, calling you along the path to happiness. Lindas article demonstrates the need for a clear life vision for what you want, a junk-free life, and the inner power you have to choose.
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Linda Joy
Choosing to Live a Joyful, Inspired Life
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Unknown I drove along the tree lined streets of a quiet neighborhood with all the windows down letting the spring air caress my face. The smell of fresh cut grass tickled my nose. Through the windshield, my tear-filled eyes beheld the bluest of skies while I pounded the steering wheel with rage. I was going through one of the most painful, but transformative, periods of my life. I was in the throes of healing from long buried childhood trauma that had resurfaced. I was a single mom with a beautiful six-year old daughter; this pain was robbing me of being completely present with her. With sobs racking my body, I pulled the car over and attempted to compose myself. So many intense emotions ripped through me at once, I felt like I was splitting open. I was angryangry about what had happened to me. There was an immense sadness for a childhood loststolen from me. And, again, anger that because of a childhood betrayal; I would never know who I was meant to be. I was disappointed with my own lack of strength to pull myself out of the pain. The emotional pain ran deep. I feared I would not find my way outas I had done in the past. This time, despair was taking me prisoner dragging me into its depths. I had never been one to turn to a higher power or believe that one was even available for me to turn to. But that day, nineteen years ago, I didnt know what else to do, where else to turn. I remember shaking my fist at the heavens and yelling at the blue sky. I let it all out, all the while hoping there really was someone up there that could hear me. If there was a God, he was going to get an earful. I let out 29 years of pain, anguish and shame with no holds barred. More than an hour later, sitting
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there in my tear-soaked cotton t-shirt, I was emotionally and physically spent. I was empty. What happened next still blows my mind. The memory is still so vivid to me -- as if it happened just yesterday. Everything became very still. The breeze stopped. I couldnt hear the sound of lawnmowers in the distance. I was acutely aware of my heart beating and my labored breath. I basked in a deep peace something I had never experienced. This moment held an indescribable intensity that I can still feel but am at a loss to describe. And then, I heard It: A stern, but gentle and loving whisper that would transform my life, heal my heart and allow me to begin a dance with my authentic self. The experiences of your childhood do not erase the core of who you are. It has been there all along but you have chosen not to see it and to focus on the pain. You hold the power to become who you desire to be at any time. The power is yours - youve had it all along. You can CHOOSE to be who you want to be. Who do you want to be at the deepest core of your being? Epiphany! Not only was my mind suddenly and clearly grasping this concept but my heart was filled with pure hope, a feeling I hadnt experienced in a long, long time. The wisdom I heard that day seemed so simplistic but my heart resonated with truth an inner knowing. Sitting in the car that day, I never for one moment questioned the wisdom I heard. I can choose! What? I have a CHOICE about this pain, my life, my feelings and my heartache. What do I want for myself? A beautiful surge of energy coursed through me. Was this Hope I was feeling? I began ransacking my car, searching through the French fries tucked in the seats crevices to find a pen. Paper, paper I need paper. Thoughts were coming fast and furious. A coffee stained napkin was all I could find. I began writing furiously I want to be loving I want to feel deserving.
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I want to radiate love. I want to be kind and trusting and filled with hope. I want to experience true joy. I want to know inner peace. I want to experience self-love. I want to make a difference in the world. I want to forgive.
The list filled both sides of the napkin with the deepest desires of my heart. Up until that day, I had never allowed myself to believe that any of those feelings were even possible for me. Now, out of the blue, I am made to see that anything is possible and I had just been given the key to attain it. That spring day in 1991 was the day I took back my life. For many years, that napkin never left me. Tattered, torn and finally unreadable it was my symbol of hope and transformation. That day began my journey to reclaim my authentic self, the self that had always been there but had been covered up by the pain and despair that I chose to carry. I began filling my life with uplifting, inspirational books and tapes from leading visionaries such as Norman Vincent Peale, Florence Scovel Shinn, Napoleon Hill and Ernest Holmes. They became my virtual mentors. As the years went by, I added to my transformational tool kit. I soaked up the transformational wisdom of teachers such as Marianne Williamson, Tony Robbins, Debbie Ford, Cheryl Richardson and more. I absorbed all I could and became a dedicated student of living from the inside out, using my mind and heart to transform my life. The discovery I made that day-- that I could dump the junk that I had been carrying for 30 years and live a life of joy, ease and love-- was the first step on an amazing transformational journey that continues to this day. The wisdom and words of the worlds leading visionaries and new thought authors initiated great change in my life and unknowingly shaped my lifes purpose. Nearly 20 years may have passed, but in an instant, I can bring myself back to the moment in my car, when I emptied my pain and filled my heart. Today, life has come full circle for me. I am blessed with a daughter who
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has grown into a wonderful, loving and compassionate woman. I am the founder and publisher of the leading womens inspirational magazine, Aspire. When Im asked what I do for a living, I like to say, Through the pages of Aspire Magazine, I bring the transformational words and wisdom of the visionaries who changed my life to women around the globe. When memory brings me back to that moment, all those years ago, I experience only the beauty of the day, and I rejoice at discovering the power within. 5 Tips to Living an Inspired Life 1. Make the Choice. Today! Yes, its as simple as that. EVERY choice you make either brings you closer to or further away from the life you desire. The most amazing part of your journey through life is that you can adjust course at any time by making a new choice. Your past does not predict or guide your future your choices do. Choose to live an authentic and inspired life starting today. 2. Embrace Change. The one true constant of life is change. Nothing remains the same all of life is about movement and transformation. For many of us, especially when wounded, fear and fight change and hold on tight to what is, which of course keeps us from growing and expanding and claiming our inspired life. By embracing the fact that every change you experience, no matter how scary, is actually bringing you one step closer to your authentic self is empowering. 3. Surround Yourself. Look around you. Do the people and places in your life represent the life you desire or the life that you have? Again, its a choice your choice. If you truly desire a deeper, more inspired and joyful life then choose to surround yourself with people and places that represent who you aspire to be. Begin by surrounding yourself with relationships that uplift, inspire and empower you to be the best you can be and releasing those that keep you living a less than life. 4. Keep Looking Forward. Keep your focus on where you want your life to go, not where it is. It is easy to remain comfortable and complacent in life if you do not keep a vision for a bigger life in front of you. Make a vision board of the life of your dreams. Spend five
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minutes each day journaling or writing affirmations. Keeping the vision for your life in front of you is a powerful tool to beating complacency. 5. Find Forgiveness. For yourself and others. Forgiveness is one of the most powerful transformational tools we possess. The choice to release the pain and baggage is yours to make. You can choose to release the heavy burden you carry and in doing so create the space for true inner transformation and healing. The first step is to open your mind to the possibility of forgiveness. 2010 Linda Joy About the author: Living her souls purpose, Conscious Entrepreneur, Publisher and Inspirational Speaker Linda Joy is dedicated to inspiring women to live deeper, more authentic and inspired lives. Speaking with authenticity, passion and purpose Ms. Joy has been invited to share her inspirational journey from single welfare mom to successful entrepreneur with national audiences, colleges and womens groups. As the publisher and founder of the premiere inspirational magazine for women, Aspire, Ms Joy recently launched Aspirers Mission to Inspire campaign and committed to giving away 100,000 subscriptions to women across the globe. In her dedication to give women a venue to share their stories, wisdom and insight she has founded Inspired Living Publishing the publisher of a series of print and digital inspirational anthologies for women and by women, including the upcoming A Juicy, Joyful Life: Inspiration from Women who have Found the Sweetness in Every Day to be released in Fall 2010. Learn more about her at http://aspiremag.net/.
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Know yourself. Have you noticed a theme coming out of the various chapters so far? I cant say this enough, if you dont know where youre going, you dont know where youll end up. Unfortunately, in Aimees case, she sacrificed herself for a very long time before she was able to summon the strength and courage to dump her junk and listen to her authentic self. The important thing, is that she did it! And because of her personal struggles, she is now an amazing mentor and teacher for those who feel theyre in a similar place. Strength comes from within. How many masks are you wearing? Whose life are you living, and why? It can be uncomfortable at first, but getting clear on what you want will create the momentum and courage you need to let go of the junk holding you back. Just do it one, step at a time, and start with creating a vision for the life you want to live.
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Aimee Yawnick
Sifting Through My Junk
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. Marianne Williamson I first heard the use of the word authentic when I was in the Landmark Forum over 7 year ago. I thought it was a dramatic word to use to describe ones self. Of course I am an authentic person, I thought. I am who I am, I am not pretending to be somebody else. It was almost silly to me. Then as the weekend went on and we dug deeper into the technology of the education, I started to realize I was anything but authentic. I was walking around with many different masks on my face in order to be who I thought I was supposed to be in any given situation with a variety of people in my life. Very long story short, I came out of the Forum with a new perspective on what it meant to honor my Authentic Self. Over the past 7 years as I have continued to educate myself about my SELF, I have learned many times over that living an Authentic Life is not so easy. It takes commitment, integrity, sacrifice and a deep sense of self-love to honor who you are at any cost. In order to do that you need to know your SELF. Really have a strong connection to YOU. In my experience, building and strengthening your relationship with your SELF is the key to success in every area of your life. When you know who you are, and what you value, its much easier to see where in your life you are stepping over those values and where you are honoring them. The areas where you are stepping over them are usually the areas where you are not living authentically. You are conforming to a certain way of being in order to . . . (you fill in the blank). For me it was in order to be
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loved and accepted. I was so concerned about what others thought about me and worried that they might withhold their love for me that I would do what I thought they wanted me to do in order to make THEM happy. I thought being myself wasnt enough to be worthy of their love. A great example of that was the many times I was afraid to express myself in a romantic relationship. I was scared that if I asked for what I needed or wanted, even if it was as small as choosing our plans for the evening, that I would be asking too much and my boyfriend would leave. Of course this way of being attracted controlling, emotionally abusive men into my life. This was perfect since they validated my belief that I was unworthy of love. I actually allowed myself to become engaged on two separate occasions, to two different men that I knew I would never marry. I was more afraid of being alone then being in a loveless, controlling relationship. I became this small pathetic girl who wouldnt speak up and ask for what she needed. This certainly was not an authentic life. I was 33 when it all fell apart. My love for my first career was slowly dwindling, as was my desire to be in a loveless relationship, the second engagement that I knew would not end in marriage. It was a Tuesday morning and I found myself crying on the living room floor praying to an unknown source (I had no higher belief system then), to please get me out of this dead end life. I prayed for something catastrophic to happen. It had to be big to give me the courage I needed to leave. It had finally got to the point that staying in this relationship, that choosing this way of living, was more painful than anything I could make up in my mind was out there if I were living on my own. This was the first time I became aware of my Inner Wisdom. When I was praying on the floor that day there was a tiny little voice telling me there is more out there for you. I cant say that I really heard it in that moment, but when I look back on it I can recall the feeling of not being alone. Within 24 hours something big did happen and it was big enough to send me packing. I remember driving away with my car packed full of anything I could fit in it, including my two cats. I had this strange sense of fear and
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relief. Fear that I had no plan and no idea what I was going to do, and relief that I was finally free from the bondage of that controlling, loveless relationship. As I look back on that now I realize how much junk I was carrying around with me. What I mean by that is how much in my life I was tolerating. By driving away that day, I was literally leaving behind all the junk, including my fianc, that had been weighing down my Spirit and allowing me to live a life so much less than I was capable. What I didnt know though, was what was ahead of me. Although, I let go of the physical junk that was weighing me down, I now had to face the emotional junk that enabled me to get into that, and so many other, unhealthy relationships. The knowledge I acquired over the next four years is what has shaped me to become the woman I am today. Through my experiences of both sweeping my junk under the rug and hoping it would go away, as well as facing my junk head on, I learned that the best and only way to truly Dump the Junk (and be happy) is to sift through it piece by piece and find a way to be grateful for it all. I know what you must be thinking. Grateful, are you crazy Aime? Well, maybe a little but not about this. Heres the thing, if you sweep your junk under the rug, with the hope that it will go away or you just wont need to deal with it, here is what happens. It feeds off the dust under the rug and it gets bigger. It gets stronger, louder and eventually you find yourself tripping over it every time you walk by. I know youve experienced this. There have been things in your life that you have dealt with time and time again and each time you thought it would be the last. The reason why you are still dealing with the same stuff is because you havent faced it head on. What I mean is you havent taken full responsibility for your role in the issue. Please accept that with the loving intention from which it is written. I dont mean that you are to blame or at fault. What I do mean is that until you see your role in the matter, you will continue to blame other people or circumstances and you will not learn what you are meant to learn from that experience.
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Take my two failed engagements as examples. If I continued to blame the men I was in relationship with for being too controlling and emotionally abusive, and I never took responsibility for not speaking up for myself and fully expressing my needs, then I never would have learned how important self-expression is for me and how by speaking my truth I am a role model for others in my life to do the same. Does that make sense? Coming from this place of owning my role in these failed relationships gives me a sense of pride and removes me completely from the victim role. And THAT feels empowering. Now I can look at those relationships and be grateful that they happened because had they not, I might not be who I am today and I am so grateful for my life! The biggest lesson I learned through my journey of sifting through my junk is that our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship of all. What I know for sure is that if we dont take the time to get to know and love ourselves, then the Universe will continue to put obstacles in our way that will force us to do so. This journey that we are on is all about finding our way back within. Connecting to that authentic place inside that I call our Inner Wisdom. When you make that connection, when you create that bond with your SELF on a deep soul level, it gives you the wisdom and knowledge for every aspect of your life. For me, when I finally figured this all out I knew without a doubt that it was my purpose to share the way with other women. Connecting with your Inner Wisdom is like awakening your own Divine GPS system. You can always turn within, ask for guidance and the answers will be there for you. For me it was the awareness that I am not alone. On a Spiritual level my relationship with my SELF and my Higher Power are one in the same. My Higher Power is out there as powerfully as it is in the core of my soul. This gives me the freedom to stand in a place of empowerment and confidence about my choices and decisions and be so peacefully at ease that the direction I am moving is exactly the right one for me. It takes a lot of courage and bravery to sift through all the junk that holds you back and keeps you small. Believe me I get that! I am living proof though that it can be done. If I can do this, I guarantee you that you can
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too! All you have to do is be willing and ask for help. And of course, accept it when it arrives! 2010 Aimee Yawnick About the author: Aimee of Core Growth and Development is a Personal Coach and Mentor who helps women entrepreneurs overcome the mindset challenges that hold them back from creating the profitable business of their dreams. With a step by step system that takes a no excuses approach to combat these obstacles, Aimee helps her clients, make more money, attract ideal clients and step up in their business with power and confidence. To receive Aimees gift to you, Your Inner Guide to Good Fortune please visit http://www.coregrowthanddevelopment.com/
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In this next chapter, Anisa talks about something I think is very important to note! What does it actually mean to be authentic? I have to admit, I get a little irritated when I hear people talk about living your truth, when it means that they use that as a justification to spew negativity or complain. I also find it hard to take when people just hook authentic onto any old word, and use it as a buzz word (authentic selling, authentic marketing, and authentic attraction). After a while, it doesnt mean anything! And I want to point out, that no matter what, its not the marketing or attraction thats authenticits the person behind the action that makes it authentic. And values are a key piece to your overall authenticity. When you live according to your values, you are naturally authentic. When was the last time you examined your core values?
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Anisa Aven
Being Authentic:
Our Heros Journey is the Struggle Between Who We Are Now Vs Who We Know We are Capable of Becoming
First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do. Epictetus Some folks believe that being authentic is simply a matter of speaking your truth at any given moment. Others suggest that being authentic means doing what you want, when you want according to whatever you feel. Theres a degree of Truth in both of these statements. However, being authentic is more than speaking your truth or doing what feels good. For example, what if your current truth is not aligned with your highest and best self? Are we still being authentic when we honor our lower level intentions and fears? I remember a friend explaining why she was unkind to another friend, He was obviously wearing a terrible toupee. Its not my fault I offended him. I was only being authentic. Does being authentic mean that sometimes you will also be unkind? Does honoring your authentic truth mean compromising your highest level values for the gratifications of the moment? In the recent blockbuster movie, Avatar, the Na Vi are the indigenous people of the planet Pandora, 7 years travel from Earth. They believe that they are one with all that is. They believe that the energy that runs through the plants, the planet, the animals and each other indivisibly connects, supports, and sustains them. Thus, they honor and respect all life as sacred. They only kill in self-defense or for food, and they always honor the soul of the animal with a prayer. When they quench their thirst, they say thank you to the stream. This Truth is understood by all and has permeated their
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very existence inspiring and directing every action they take and every word they speak. On the other hand, Jake Sully, the human turned Na Vi hero, is a paraplegic marine from Earth, where There are no trees and nothing is green because they have killed their mother, as he warns. Jake begins the movie as a hardened marine filled with indifference, isolation, and bitterness. He is instantly rejected as a trigger-happy jar-head by the scientists he has come to work with and the Na Vi. He finds acceptance amongst the ex-marines, the corporate sponsored mercenaries sent to exploit Pandoras natural resources. They enroll Sully, as they call him, in their intention to make the Na Vi move so they can pillage the minerals beneath their home. For weeks, he secretly provides intel supporting the private army with the information they require to force the Na Vi to leave. His authentic truth in the beginning of the movie is aligned with selfish, bitter motives. He freely shares everything he learns and provides the information the militant invaders need to strike the Na Vi where it would hurt the most. From his lower level self, he is partnering with those who he currently identifies with and thus is showing up authentically. As the movie continues, Jake Sully is taught the ways of the Na Vi, to honor and respect all of life. He learns to sense and feel the animals and the planet as one with his being. Shortly, his bitterness and indifference give way and he falls in love with the people and their way of life. As he loses his old bitter, power-hungry identity, he is transformed. His new authentic Truth is aligned with altruism, self-sacrifice, and selflessness. He is enraged when the private army attacks the Na Vi and he fights back. Fueled by his love for the people of Pandora, he is now willing to fight to the death to protect their home. Now, from his higher level self, he is showing up authentically. I share this story because this is our story. How many times do we speak or act authentically only to discover later that our authentic truth was erroneously based on our current state of disconnection and ignorance to the importance of love, the sanctity of life and our integral role?
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In choosing to be more authentic, we will often find ourselves struggling with the inner demons that tell us we are feeble and in need of protection. We struggle with our Truth because we do not want to be rejected, shunned, and humiliated. We fear that our Truth will cause others to withhold or remove their love. At times it is easier to go along with our lower, ego truths than to speak up and risk the loss of love. Through personal awareness, we come to understand that we are evolving. We begin to like who we are now, more than the person that was fearful and wounded. As we seek to intentionally evolve into our highest and best selves, we eventually discover that we must risk losing the approval of those who do not understand our quest. As we learn to live like the Na Vi, in alignment with the ever-flowing energy that connects all of life, we learn to honor the virtues within that support life. For most of us, we have an underlying idea about our values. We believe that we operate in alignment with these values most of the time. We settle for most of the time because its better than nothing. We may aim for integrity, respect, self-discipline, for example, but like a target covered in moss, its difficult to hit something hidden in the mind. Virtues, locked away in our dusty, mental attics are sporadically honored, at best. We struggle in our quest to be authentic when our personal constitution about whats important is anemic due to lack of attention. Have you ever considered what virtues are aligned with your highest and best self? Do you have those virtues written down somewhere you can refer to them often? I read a story one time of Benjamin Franklin, who reportedly owed all of his success to the fact that he worked diligently to ensure that his life and daily actions were congruent with the 13 virtues he considered to be essential to glorious living. He studied these virtues daily. He wrote them down and graded his performance at the end of each day. How was my sincerity today? Was I industrious today? How might I improve my commitment to order tomorrow?
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Through first identifying our values, the principles upon which we intend to operate, we are better equipped to align with our highest and best selves in any moment. Once discovered and committed to, these values become the drivers upon which every decision can be made. If you value kindness, then you will be inspired to speak kindly. If you value integrity, then you will be inspired to say no to anything that compromises your integrity. Once we are clear about our values, then showing up authentically becomes easier and we are more consistent. We can choose to be authentic and rest assured that our foundation is honorable, our intentions are virtuous, and the inner stirrings of our heart are honest, loving, and aligned with our souls purpose. Upon this realization, the need for the approval of others and our fear of loss of love will diminish. We will respond to circumstances from a greater sense of connection to All That Is. When this happens, we realize we do not need approval from others to feel worthy. As we connect with our highest self, we feel worthy of love automatically and thus do not need others to prove we are lovable. As we evolve into our Highest and Best Selves, we begin to require less attention from those who may not be operating within their highest consciousness and learn how to fill those needs by the selfconfidence, self-love and faith that we begin to imbue in ourselves. Like Jake Sully, in the movie Avatar, our heros journey will also consist of making up for our past mistakes. It will consist of becoming personally aware of not only our values but whether or not our actions are congruent with these values. Our heros journey will take us into that painful place of realizing we have made many mistakes and we must now make amends. However, on the other side of this journey is a life of freedom, love, honor, and personal peace that only Authentic Living can provide. 2010 Anisa Aven About the author: Anisa Aven is a corporate executive, visionary leader, author, coach and spiritual activist. Anisas willingness to be authentic and transparent as she shares her personal journey and formula for success has garnered her legions of loyal fans. Considered one of the worlds top manifestation mentors and a law of attraction icon, Anisa makes complicated Conscious Success principles accessible and easy to
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use. From her corporate position as CEO of a global, executive coaching firm with coaches on every continent, to her role as author of dozens of Intentional Success programs to her cherished responsibility as wife and mother, Anisas most passionate desire is to unite capitalism with humanitarian intentionality to support our planet through this time of global transformation. Anisa has hundreds of freebies on her site from articles, to audio recordings to positive creation how-to eBooks and her free Conscious Creation 101 eCourse is one of the easiest and practical free tools on the internet for learning how to leverage the Power of the Universal Principles. To learn more about Anisa and to register for her Free eCourse visit http://www.AnisaAven.com/.
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Great relationships begin within. I just love that, and that tag line is what attracted me to Maryanne last fall when her assistant contacted me about participating in her latest book launch. It sounds simple, but most of us are not used to taking time out to check-in and see how things are going, forget actually listening and following our inner wisdom. Maryanne shares the perfect way to get listening to your authentic self! And it involves first confronting your junk head on. Her process reminds me a lot of Debbie Fords Shadow Work. When you acknowledge the pain that is in there, when you stop resisting and listen, you free up an immense amount of energy. This energy can then be used to propel your life forward with an intense focus that youve never experience before, and THAT is where miraculous things start to happen!
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Maryanne Maryanne Comaroto

The Power of a Daily Spiritual Practice
The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. Maharishi Mahesh Yogi I have learned that having a Daily Practice is a powerful way of creating and maintaining a constant stream of health, happiness and self-esteem. Prior to this discovery, I had become accustomed to bits of enlightenment followed by suering and despair. It was like I would wake up and then go back to sleep, sometimes for embarrassingly long periods of time! I would read a book or nd some great advice or go to a workshop; and then two months, two weeks or even two minutes later, fall back asleep, wondering where all that wisdom went (out the window again). So, out of necessity, I created a way to help me stay awake to my inner source of love and fulllment. A practice became the foundation for creating the healthy, fullling, loving relationship I have today. It all started with healing my relationship with myself, and having this practice will help you too. A practice, preferably a Daily Practice, will provide the opportunity for you to not just know the tools but to transform them into skills that will serve you eternally. The Daily Practice is an invitation to truly give yourself some time each day to do the personal work needed to master this material. More importantly, the Daily Practice will give you the time to get to know yourself. You cant get where you want to go without the ability to assess where you are in any given moment. A personal practice will serve that purpose. If healthy, loving relationships are what you seek, this is truly where to start. As I have said before, and I will say again, great relationships begin within. The method Im about to share with you is the way within.
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Having a daily spiritual practice, in and of itself, is foreign to most of us, except when we are experiencing discomfort or some kind of obvious crisis. Only then do we stop, inquire and ask for help or guidance. We wake up for a while to the reality that there is a bigger picture out there, that we have direct access to wisdom, guidance and help. Then, as soon as the discomfort or crisis has passed, we carry on. Many of us go back to sleep and rarely look back. So it would be safe to say we have a periodic practice, one of crisis or malady. The invitation here is to embrace your life in a greater context, one that is supported by self-inquiry. A practice of looking for, and regularly seeking, the truth, which will ultimately give you the ability to live the life you truly desirefull of freedom of being. A life where being fake is no longer a reex you need to survive. A life of self-love and self-respect. A life where peace and ease are a real part of your existence. A life lled with choices. A life met with curiosity and wonder. The life that you really want to live. The catch is you must do the work. Period. No one, and I mean no one, is immune from this reality. If you want freedom, you must do the work. If you want peace, you must feel the old pain. If you want self-love, you must face whats most fake and ugly about yourself and others. It is my experience that if we want a great quality of life and to experience real freedom of being, we need to practice daily. You must face yourself and do whats necessary. You must seek the truth. Why do the work? This, my friend, is your life. The only one you have. As my dear friend always says, You might as well be yourself; everyone else is taken! Here would be a good place to decide how much eort you are worth. How much time, how much energy, are you willing to give yourself, to get what you have been seeking for so long? Dont worry if discipline is dicult, as it is for most of us. Thats why its called a practice. You dont have to be perfect. A practice is meant to help you wake back up and remember what you are working toward.
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SHOW ME THE WAY Let me introduce you to the SHOMI method of body-centered selfinquiry. This process was named after the prayer I spoke the day I hoped that God would just beam me up and take me away from my pain and suering. I said, If youre out there, God, please show me the way! And He did! The SHOMI philosophy is, Your mind is here to serve your body, so you can follow your spirit. All the wisdom you will ever need about yourself is available to you any time, right there inside your body. All you need to do is learn how to listen to it and then trust its guidance. How you start is simple: Pick a time, it does not matter when. If you are a morning person, do it then. If you are a night person, start doing it then. If you are neither, just make sure you do it. And sit down. Thats right, sit down with yourself. Okay, ne, stand, lie down, whatever. Dont go to sleep or space out, thoughyou actually want to be with yourself. Yes, this is a concept that seems fairly unattractive for many of us at rst, because there might be a lot of yuck in there that we only feel when we are quiet with ourselves. Trust me, youll get past that eventually. The truth is that the yuck is there whether we take the time to notice it or not. When we dont pay attention to it, it nds a way to sabotage us. By taking the time to attend to it, we can either lessen its impact or release it completely. In the meantime, its worth saying for those who are literal, like me, and need clear instructions: No books, no words, no distractions, no music. This is a process of being with yourself so you can get to know yourself, so you can learn to care for yourself. Learn to listen to yourself, so you can learn to heal yourself, so you can learn to love yourself. Only then will life reect all that beauty to you. Cause for now, life treats you the way you treat yourself. Ill share more on this later, but for now, take a look at your life. If you ignore yourself, so does life. If you dont care for yourself, neither does life. And if anyone says they care for you, if youre abusing and neglecting yourself, you simply wont believe them anyway and are likely to
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do something to sabotage the relationship to prove yourself right. Its a physics lawNO two things can occupy the same place at the same time. You cannot have two conicting beliefs about yourself without having psychic schism. Okay, in other words, it will make you crazy! The good news is that a systemthe human being is a system; mind, body, spiritreorganizes itself to the highest available truth. That means, if you break through to the real truths about yourself and change the old ones, your whole world will realign. For example, when you switch the belief from I am not enough to I am enough, your life will change, as will the world around you. Yes, this takes doing some work, and it takes disciplinelots, probably. It did for me, and arent you worth it? Hey, it beats the alternative; more of the same old, same old. So sit down, be quiet and ask, Whats here? Or, as I like to ask, What do I need to know right now? And then listen. Pay attention. Miraculously, your body will tell you. You may take a while to get the hang of it, but I promise, your body will speak to you. That does not mean you will like what it says. Oftentimes we have neglected ourselves and the body is NOT happy. Whatever the case, pay attention. Ask, What do I notice about myself? or Show me what I need to know? Then just listen. Yep, thats all. But to truly make it a practice versus a one-time experience, you will need to do it regularly. Trust me when I tell you its foolproof. Thank God, in my case, because the rst year or so after I started this practice of listening to my body and its accompanying noises, subtleties and not-so-subtle cues, I found them to be confusing. It was a bit like translating Greek, a language I do not speak. I was unsure what the dierent messages meant. For example, at rst I spent a lot of time simply asking my body what I was feeling. Apparently I had paid so little attention to my feelings I wasnt even sure which one was which. I discovered an important rule: If you dont know what you feel, you dont know what you need. For me, just the act of stopping and dropping my attention into my body was challenging. I like to stay in motion. I felt that stopping meant I was missing out or not being productive. In any case,
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when I listened, I heard, Youre tired! A lot. I didnt like it, but only until I made myself sick from not listening did I really get that my body never lies. Next arose the lifetime of unexpressed emotion, hurt, anger, and pain. Oh boy, this was heavy and scary. I had not wanted to feel it when it originally happened, and I was really not excited about feeling the backlog the second time around. But I was on a mission, and so feel I didfor two years. Every time I stopped to listen, I got tears and tears and tears and rage and rage and feelings I thought would never end. Yet the more I felt, the more I emptied out, the more at peace with myself and the world around me I felt! And yes, despite the onslaught of seeming never-ending emotion, it did end. And then when I felt more stable emotionally (when I felt not crazy), I began to ask dierent questions, like, What is my life work and purpose? After getting more clarity there, I simply began asking, on a daily basis or whenever an emotion came up, What do I need to know right now? Currently, this is my most favorite question. Everyone is dierent, and there is no wrong way to do this, so try it out! If you can only do one minute at a time, thats better than not at all, and life will promptly reward you. You may notice changes immediately. If you only experience one moment of peace, that is enough. One genuine moment is a tremendous gift. To take an audible breath, a sigh, to relax your shoulders these are gifts as well. And thats how the SHOMI method works. Try it, and remember: what you give yourself you get back. As you become more sophisticated in your practice, you might start learning how to ground yourselfto connect to the planet. While there are many ways to help you ground yourself, I like to simply sit, be quiet, and drop an imaginary gold cord through the oor connecting me to the center of the earth. Then simply breathe and allow the energy to come from the center of the earth and mingle and awaken my life force, creating a kind of relaxed awareness that I call presence! And then, just ask and listen. As you progress and become more comfortable with sitting with yourself, you will begin to learn your own bodys unique language and receive more and more answers. Sitting quietly, undistracted, with yourself is a worthwhile investment. As Ive mentioned, the way you treat yourself is the same way others will treat you.
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Imagine: if we had learned this tool early on, perhaps we would have listened to our own truthswhat our bodies were trying to tell us instead of making our ways through the obstacle course of our minds rationalizations and lies. The SHOMI Steps 1. Find a quiet place where you wont be distracted, and sit with yourself. 2. Ask, Whats here? or What do I need to know right now? 3. Listen. 4. Notice sensations, feelings, images or words that may come. 5. Follow your bodys impeccable wisdom. 6. Do this every day, maybe several times a day. Thats it! You have a powerful practice. Yes, the mind wants to know how to do it right, but dont worry about whats right. You will catch on and realize that doing it right is yet another stalling tactic to avoid sitting down in that scary silence and being with yourself in that nothingness: a way to skirt all that pain that you think will take your last breath; a way to keep at bay the self-loathing youre afraid will consume you, or the rage youre afraid will hurt yourself or someone else. We all have all of that. But, if we dont take the time to feel it, our stued emotions will nd myriad ways to sabotage our relationships and numb our ability to love and to feel loved. 2010 Maryanne Comaroto About the author: Maryanne is an award-winning author, therapist and radio personality who reaches three million people monthly worldwide through her broadcasts. She is a frequent guest on TV and radio talk shows around the country, appearing on ABCs 20/20, Disneys Soap Net, KOMO-ABC Northwest in the Afternoon, KATU -ABCs AM Northwest, and San Franciscos KGO-ABCs View From the Bay, etc. As the authority on successful relationships, Maryanne can be heard on her weekly radio talk show, where she interviews experts in the selfawareness field Gay Hendricks, Neale Donald Walsh, John Gray, Riane Eisler, and don Miguel Ruiz, to name a few who talk openly about what it takes to create healthy, fulfilling, sustainable relationships. Learn more about Maryanne at http://maryannelive.com/.
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I can completely relate to Kims perfectionistic tendencies. In fact, I am a recovering perfectionist myself, and also used to wear it as a badge of honor. Then I learned that perfectionism was really just hiding some pretty ugly junk. Junk that was telling me I wasnt good enough, or that I had to do it myself, or that no matter what Id fail. When I acknowledged and released that junk, I was able to release the perfectionism, but not completely. I am willing to admit that I still have a do it really well or not at all attitude, but its one that is harmonious to me and my life and I do it out of service to others, rather than as a way to hide some deep, dark, lurking junk!
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Kim Page Gluckie

My truth? Im Imperfect. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He who never made a mistake never made a discovery. Samuel Smiles I know my authentic self as the good, the bad, and the ugly. There, I said it. No doubt about it Im not perfect. And wow! What a relief to be living a life where perfect is no longer the goal, nor a false illusion. Im not sure I ever purposefully defined my pursuit of perfection in the past. But I do know I was called a perfectionist most of my life and it was a label I used to enjoy. Thankfully, somewhere in recent years, I had one of those big wake-up calls! Not the one that says Hey you, you ARENT perfect! (because, honestly, I was well aware of THIS all along no matter how I may have acted). Nope, instead the wake-up call was Hey you, perfection is unachievable and it is making you unhappy! This occurred somewhere along the timeline of marriage and motherhood, where the risk of my unhappiness also became a risk of me creating the unhappiness of others. Shifting from a me-centric life upon marriage, shortly followed by motherhood, was only the first step in transitioning my life and dumping loads of limiting mental junk. But I must be clear, this is still a work in progress. And Im okay with this, because I am steadfastly a recovered perfectionist that allows me to ebb and flow, make mistakes, and continue to learn. Ditching perfectionism was an act of offloading a burden too big to bear any longer. And it allowed more definable pieces of junk to become clearer. This is my transitional path of dumping mental junk that has put me on a road to enjoying and sharing my authentic self:
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Overcome false loyalties. I began my career at an advertising agency, 7th person in the door, which was an exceptional hit the ground running entry into a career that saw incredible small business successes and challenges. But that career that had been great, at some point no longer became a fit. However, instead of acknowledging the pain and unhappiness and uncertainty of how it felt to be miserable in my career, I falsely clung to job loyalties and in fact, loyalty to my profession, even though it made me miserable. And those around me experienced my misery too for about 4 years too many. Embrace new ideas of self even when unexpected or not clearly understood. For me, this was MOTHERHOOD. I didnt know I wanted to be a mom until I married a man whom I knew would be an exceptional father to my children. Not once in my life did I play babies I played school or office. I loved school. I loved working in an office. I didnt know if Id love my babies, love being a mom, or love trying to fit them into my career. But when choosing to become a mom the first time, I embraced it. I did not expect to feel as passionate about trying to become a mom as I did. I definitely did not understand what was about to happen to my life, but I embraced the possibilities of this new self with faith that the career-centric self would be fine. (Authors note: I LOVE being a mom. I am extremely aware of being a role model to my 3 young daughters) Recognize a calling. I am still in the midst of defining my calling. But it started with overcoming a fear of returning to my former career (which I stated was no longer a happy fit) during my first maternity leave. After my first child was born, I bravely and boldly stated I hate marketing and was certain I would never be a marketing communications expert again. Yet I went back to my career after my first and second child. During these times, I also tried other pursuits hobbies I was passionate about (photography, mural painting, direct-selling childrens books). But to no surprise (in hindsight), I spent more time enjoying discovering how to promote my own businesses than actually being the business. By the arrival of my third child, I could finally name my calling. It is STILL marketing. But through my journey stepping off the career path, into other pursuits, I am redefining my love of marketing by channeling it into helping other women with part-time businesses market themselves. Ahhhhhh! That feels good.
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Ditch unrealistic self-expectations and put less value on the expectations of others. This is where my former perfectionist behavior really gets a butt-kicking. Perfectionism and unachievable expectations simply dont allow for happy or successful selfemployment or motherhood. There is simply not enough woman to go around when trying to be wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, volunteer, colleague, contractor, expert. So managing selfexpectations and the expectations of others is the only way to survive. Putting myself first in my mind, even when not always possible in time, is the critical foundation of keeping me as a happy authentic self. Define happy. Im realizing that my happiness is as simple as embracing today. Acknowledging the past only as history. And anticipating tomorrow but not trying to control it. For happiness is the flexibility to ebb and flow. Happiness is avoiding the need to balance but rather the opportunity to change, evolve, and redefine. Accepting I am committed to my happiness means I can be my true self for others. Being happy is not a selfish act. Being miserable due to false loyalties, expectations, uncertainty and fear is selfish. Being my authentic self is being happy even when life is not perfect. Remember freedoms of childhood. I reconsider my time trying mural painting and photography as work. This came from a deeper part of my authentic self which is a creative soul. I have a love and appreciation of art. I am welcoming a place for creativity in the next chapter of my life. Perfection was an arrogance that interfered with my creativity before.
Ditching my mental junk around who I am supposed to be has allowed me to become more flexible and open minded to seeing who I can possibly be. And there are no limits! Ive always been a big picture idealist, but had put roadblocks in my own way when I couldnt see the how to get there. Now, I am okay with being on a path where I dont know all the twists and turns. I dont need to control everything. I trust in what I do know, and have faith that what I dont will make itself evident when needed. Ebb and flow. It has been a journey of nearly a decade since recognizing my initial misery stemming from my career. Marriage and motherhood were catalysts to relieve me from that career in marketing that became
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mundane. Becoming a mom was a new form of happiness. But it was not a well-rounded one. I lost my true self while discovering what it takes to be a mom. But finally, upon arrival of my third little girl, I created a refueled passion for marketing with a purpose. One year after her birth I created MPowered Marketing and my authentic self as well-rounded work from home mom was born. And now, my false loyalty to perfectionism, work and unrealistic expectations are things of the past. They no longer define me. My hectic life is imperfect and so am I. I wouldnt have it any other way. 2010 Kim Page Gluckie About the author: As a passionate entrepreneur who now teaches & provides strategic marketing solutions, its hard to believe Kim once declared I never want to do marketing again! It felt like a brave statement to make at the time, for 12 years into her career, it was all she knew. But through marriage & motherhood, she gave herself the time and permission to redefine her vision for herself. She saw that her previously fun & successful career opportunities had become mundane and completely devoid of making a difference. And that she was miserable. Now, as a busy mom of 3 daughters and part of a duo of work at home parents, she has become passionate about the challenges and opportunities of part-time entrepreneurs. She has created marketing training programs to ensure women have all the knowledge, tools & support needed to build a successful business. Through MPowered Marketing (http://www.mpoweredmarketing.com ) she teaches women in small businesses how to grow big no matter how limited their resources.
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Mindset is so important when it comes to becoming the strong, true person you vision yourself to be. This is one of the many reasons why having a strong life vision is so important. Your life vision is the map to help you become that personthe person who is perfectly aligned to create/manifest/attract the beach front house, BMW and handsome husband. Unless you already have all that (and those are just generic examples, your life vision probably looks much different) you are required to grow into that person, before youll achieve the vision. And along the way youll probably change your mind and want something else, add things, take things away, go back and put them back on the listthis is all part of the growth process. And its completely necessary. As Gina shares, when it comes to certain mindset stumps, you really do have to fake it to make it! Think of it as learning to act as if which is integral to the Law of Attraction.
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Gina Bell
Fake It till You Make It? Believe it or not its savvy advice
You must be the change you want to see in the world. Mahatma Gandhi Authenticity advocates and heart-centered entrepreneurs cringe at the sound of this phrase I know, I consider myself to be both. The idea of faking anything sounds terrible (and inauthentic) but Ive discovered that the core intention of this advice has a great deal of merit. As with most good advice, there are warnings attached and pitfalls to avoid It is great advice IF you are in transition to your next best self, you have a very clear vision of what that looks like for YOU, and you dont get hung up on semantics (i.e. the word fake). The pitfall occurs when our definition of success is based on the life or business another person has created. In todays keep-up-with-the-Joness society we try so hard to be like them and do like they do to the point where we start to sound like them, we buy the same clothes, decorate our homes the same, in business our websites morph into a mini-me version of theirs. And on it goes until your original ideas are unrecognizable. In this case the fake it till you make it concept has us spiraling down a rabbit hole called the comparison trap taking us further away from our original desire to be a more successful version of ourselves. When we finally realize weve gone astray, the way back seems daunting and in many cases we feel completely lost.
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Its a very frustrating place to be which takes us back to the fake it till you make it advice How in the world can this be a good thing? Lets say that youre on a mission to make 6-figures this year but up to this point youve struggled to break 30K/year. Your current identity is not going to get you to a six-figure year. So, what shifts need to happen in your identity (beliefs, behaviors, choices and actions) so you can experience this revenue leap? Here are a few questions to get you started What does success look like to you? What do you want your life and business to be like? What beliefs, behaviors, choices and actions (or in-action) must exist for you to be this more successful version of yourself? Once you have this clearly and authentically defined, you can truly leverage the fake it till you make it concept. Now you can move forward taking action, making choices and behaving the way a 6-figure version of YOU would do. When you choose to think and act like the person you want to be, we infuse authenticity back into the fake it till you make it strategy. Now, its advice that supports instead of sabotages our success. And theres another really cool thing that happens You see, your brain wants you to be this happy and successful version of you. In fact, its designed to fuel your focus which can be a good or bad thing depending on where youre focusing. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change ~ Wayne Dyer What you focus on expands and activates your reticular activating system or R.A.S. The RAS is an automatic mechanism inside your brain that serves
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as a filter between your conscious and subconscious mind bringing relevant information to your attention and it plays a vital role in your ability to achieve goals and be happy. If you focus on the life you really want to be living it becomes your predominant experience. Heres how The RAS is an automatic mechanism inside your brain that serves as a filter between your conscious and subconscious mind bringing relevant information to your attention and it plays a vital role in your ability to achieve goals. Its like wearing golf ball finder glasses. When golfers lose their golf ball in the underbrush, the technology of these cool glasses eliminates the light from background objects and makes the golf ball itself stand out. The relevant information is the golf ball, the golf ball finder glasses is your RAS. And it gets way more exciting Whats really cool about your RAS is that you can deliberately get it working for you by choosing the exact messages you send from your conscious mind (i.e. getting really clear about what really makes YOU happy). And it gets even better Your RAS cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is imagined. Many professional athletes use visualization techniques to practice and perfect their performances before actually doing it. They know how to get their RAS working for them. So are you ready to get your RAS working for you? Once you have crystal clarity about what makes you happy and develop a specific vision of happiness in your mind, your RAS will then begin to filter all relevant information and bring what really matters to your attention. Okay, lets recap
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Step One: Define what success and happiness mean to YOU. Be specific. How would a more successful and happy version of you behave and think? Step Two: Apply the fake it till you make it advice and act as if you are already this next version of you. Step Three: Find your focus. Acting as if and focusing on your authentic definitions of success and happiness activate your R.A.S. Step Four: Share your definitions and your goals with people who support you and believe in you (their belief will keep you going through the times when you lack belief in yourself) Step Five: If needed, hire a coach or mentor to hold you accountable. They will talk you down from the ledge when youre scared of truly owning this more successful vision of you. If you are bursting with the desire to truly claim a more successful version of you the first step is to make the decision to do whatever it takes to make it happen. Your next step is to take action. You deserve to BE the woman you dream of becoming. 2010 Gina Bell About the author: Gina Bell is President and Founder of IAWBO, the International Association of Women in Business Online and author to the forthcoming book Equity-Rich Women Online: Learn to Leverage and Leap Your Way to Wild Success (October 2010). Her passion is to work with success-driven women who are incredibly brilliant at what they do but struggle with how to create and market a profitable online business! Once they discover Ginas equity-rich strategies they achieve more in a year than most do in five! If you want to achieve more online, faster and easier, doing work you love, claim your complimentary membership to IAWBO today at http://www.iawbo.com/free-stuff/.
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Filling the trash bag and dumping it on the curb

Dumping the junk is really about peeling off the layers that cover up your authentic self right now, so that you can hear when its calling you. Happiness goes hand-in-hand with living an authentic life, when you feel free and confident in yourself and your ability to succeed in the future you develop optimism and resilience that translate into success. And how can you NOT feel good, when youve release emotional baggage, toxic people, and acknowledged the self sabotage that is causing pain in your life! I hope by reading this book, its provided you with the courage, motivation and inspiration to take the next step and toss away that bag of junk, forever!
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What should you do next?

After reading this book, you now know what you need to do!
Dump The Junk!

The Motivation
You are tired of living someone elses life! Youre ready to dump the junk and put yourself back on top of your To Do list. But you dont want to feel guilty about it, or feel like youre being selfish. Youve read the books (heck! You just finished this one), done the meditations, and practiced your affirmations. You have a vision board and youve set your intentions for the year (and your life). Youve done exactly what you were told to do, but you havent really seen any results. Here is the reason for that (and very few gurus are going to admit this): You need to periodically cleanse your life (especially your thinking). If you dont, you can think all affirmations you want and visualize until you make yourself crazy and NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN! The positive feelings, and happiness cannot penetrate into your life if your life is too full of junk (i.e.: emotional plaque and toxic clutter). There is no room for new thoughts and experiences if you hold all life toxins in your mind rejects anything new as not fitting with the status quo. That is the exact reason for your frustration and lack of results.
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Does this sound familiar? Youre results-oriented. BUT You like to collect books and information, but you have a lot of trouble sitting down to actually do what those resources recommend. You life is too full with other demands. Even when you do find time to sit down and read, the results arent coming. Those techniques dont work! You are living up to other peoples expectations, to the point where you feel numb or dead inside. Do you know the real you? You have way too much stuff! You collect stuff (shoes, handbags, books, exercise equipment) looking for a fix, but something is still missing. After each purchase you simply end up with more stuff, less room and an empty hole that you seek to fill again. You have someone in your life whose sole purpose is to drag you down, make you feel yucky, and irritate the heck out of you (or so it feels). Mother-in-Laws get blamed for this most often but Im talking about spouses, business associates and frenemies too. You keep hearing about how fun and easy life is. Everyone on Facebook and Twitter seems to think life is just peachybut you dont feel that way. You want to, but you dont know how. You feel out of the loop and afraid to ask for help. I know this because Ive been exactly where you are right now. I have been frustrated, alone, resentful and afraid. AND Ive turned all of that around! Enough already! When you are in the presences of (the Authentic Self) you will no longer try to be someone youre not. Debbie Ford
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The Courage
You already know this stuff is important. Are you aware of HOW important it is to being happy? You see, we are all born authentic. Its only over years of well-meaning (and sometimes not-so-well-meaning) people telling us to do things this way or dont do things that way that the authentic self gets covered up with junk. Your family, parents, teachers, coaches, doctors and bosses meant well. But every time they said, NO to youthey shoveled another scoop of dirt onto your authentic self. Eventually covering it up for good. (It was necessary to say no dont do that stay safe in the beginning, but as you grew up you kept all of those words and frustrations with you. Now you automatically tell them to yourself! Time to break that cycle.) It takes confidence and courage to go after your dreamsremember Saskias chapter? You have to really be sure of yourself to make big changes in life. Good thing you can start small! This book was a great first step. And over time, the small steps make a big difference. You just finished 10 chapters, written by amazing women who managed to dump the junk, and release life toxins. And many did this because they had to! There was no other place to go but up for thembut it is just as easy to start right now. Start where youre at, and make the decision to change direction now! You know how important shedding the old, dusty, junk-covered self is before you can uncover your authentic self. Check out the next two pages if you are interested in fast, change. Its okay if youre not, remember to start where youre at! You can get a lot of FREE information over at http://kimberlyenglot.com. Specifically, stop by my podcast page, where you can grab and download free podcasts . Podcasts are mp3s ranging in length from 10 minutes to 45 minutes, and my themes have everything to do with dumping the junk and being your authentic self! But you dont need me to explain it all, you can learn more at http://kimberlyenglot.com/podcasts/
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The Strategy
If you are interested in making massive change in your life, fast, I invite you to take the next little step today and visit http://happinessandharmonymakeover.com to learn how to REALLY dump the junk, fast! Here is a quick overview of some of the things covered in the Master Life Cleanse: Happiness & Harmony Makeover Toxic Relationships How to identify the 8 most toxic relationships 2 simple ways to deal with them simply and comfortably 12 point checklist to know if you truly have a toxic person on your hands (or if they are just having a bad day) Tips for staying positive around negative people (when you simply cant avoid them) How to determine (and what to do) if YOU are the toxic person Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) What are automatic negative thoughts, and why its essential for you to know A simple exercise to uncover your ANTs and false beliefs 3 mindset shifts so you STOP feeding your ANTs The ONLY 2 ways you can deal with ANTs to get them out of your life for good Guilt, Worry, Anger & Fear The 7 Automatic Negative Emotional Reactions (NERs) that you MUST become aware of, and why The magic formula to eliminate worry 6 Tips to break free from the worry-wart habit The 3 Steps to identify your true fears (they may not be what you think they are) A simple exercise to clear the fear once you know what youre dealing with
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Limiting Beliefs How to know if your belief system is supporting or hindering your success The 5 Step Believability Makeover Process Why there is a difference between the life you have, and the life you want (but arent living) 5 Strategies you can do to immediately shift from I cant to I can Life Clutter What is life clutter and how it can wreak havoc in every every of every area of your life if you arent aware of it 3 Keys to clearing physical clutter The underlying reasons why we create mental and physical clutter (and how this can set you free) The exact process to letting go of mental clutter holding you back Priorities What are priority and we you need them The step-by-step process successful people use to set priorities The 1 questions to ask yourself so you can make quick powerful decisions 4 Decision Making Taps traps to avoid The #1 Questions you need to ask yourself to ensure youre living according to your priorities
Each class size is limited. So if youre interested in joining us for the Fall 2010 Program. Check out http://happinessandharmonymakeover.com . Wed love to have you join us, dump the junk, and BE HAPPY!
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Dump the Junk (& Be Happy!)

Kimberly, Youre awesome! The answer is very visible and I released her from my life with lots of well wishes. Thank you for teaching me how to live authentically and to my highest potential. I feel SO much better and can finally breathe again. :D I have more positive energy to put towards the happy events coming up in my life! Amanda Roquemore, Author & Blogger, Fashionista on a Dime
I've read through the Shine Your Inner Light guide and am going to start working through it in the coming weeks with the time I set aside in my weekly schedule for the Master Life Cleanse. By the way, I had to upsize my "Authentic Life" binder, it's full of valuable & treasured tools. I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me in the past six weeks - I really felt lost when I signed up, today I feel I have my road map for the immediate future and the resources to continue mapping out further ahead. I'm truly blessed. Alesia Zorn, Calligrapher and owner of Alesia Zorn Calligraphy & More
She speaks in straightforward language readers can relate to leaving them with an honest feel good feeling of hope, inspiration, encouragement and motivation. Thank you, Kim, for sharing your pure self and knowledge with us. Jo Osczevski, Newspaper Owner, The Martensville Messenger
Kimberly Englot is the President and Founder of the Center for Authentic Self Development. She is your source of courage so that you can put yourself back on your mile-long To-Do list WITHOUT feeling guilty or selfish. You can visit Kimberly, access her free blog posts, podcast archive and learn more about The Center for Authentic Self Development at http://kimberlyenglot.com/ Kimberly lives in Canada with her husband, and two babies: Maxx and Nixie.

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