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Communication for Leaders: Overview


A failure to communicate is the clich cause for many problems. The clich makes it no less true--and it is a failure leaders can't afford. Most of us think we are good communicators -- we make our points, we listen for feedback -- yet sometimes we may not get the result we intended. Our listeners don't always understand or agree with us. Or what they hear is not the message we thought we had just given. Weren't they paying attention? Quite simply, in communication you, the sender, transmit a message to a receiver. It's effective only if the receiver receives the message you intended to sendtoo often, they do not. This QuickView addresses 4 questions: What is your role, as a leader, in communication? How do you fulfill your role as a communicator at IBM? How can you become a more effective communicator? How can you communicate effectively in a world of technology?

Content owner: Anita Guha/India/IBM Content stewards: Sarah Siegel/New York/IBM Copyright IBM Corp., 2009. All Rights Reserved.

Communication for Leaders: Basics


top of page What is your role, as leader, in communication? How do you fulfill your role as a communicator at IBM? How can you become a more effective communicator? How can you communicate effectively in a world of technology?

What is your role, as leader, in communication?


The most fundamental instrument of leadership is communication. Leaders must communicate effectively. You communicate to direct and inform, to motivate and inspire, and to strengthen confidence and move people to action. You have to ensure that your audience understands the intended message and responds appropriately.

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Your communication skills affect the climate of a team. Climate can be defined as how employees answer the question, "What is it like to work here?" Or perhaps more to the point, How easy is it to do good work here? Climate focuses on those aspects of the workplace that directly affect people's ability to perform their bestand to get better. Creating a climate characterized by clear communication is the leaders responsibility.

How do you fulfill your role as a communicator in IBM?


IBM's Leadership Competencies are defined as characteristics associated with outstanding (not merely typical) leaders. See the Leadership Competencies for IBM Leaders QuickView for detail about them. Communication is basic to all 10 IBM Leadership Competencies. Moreover, by exhibiting these competencies you are communicating what all employees must do if IBM is to innovate and grow. Client Partnering: Leaders who exhibit this competency create enduring client relationships based on trust, credibility and relevance. Collaborative Influence: Leaders who exhibit this competency actively create and promote cross-boundary integration and collaboration to do the right thing for IBM and its clients -- regardless of formal authority. Embracing Challenge: Leaders who exhibit this competency find complex and challenging situations energizing and get others enthused and focused on the core issues in complex situations. Thinking Horizontally: Leaders who exhibit this competency think creatively and across boundaries, consider the end-to-end client experience and make connections across the various parts of IBM, partners and suppliers to create innovative solutions that deliver IBM's total value to the client. Informed Judgment: Leaders who exhibit this competency make timely decisions by balancing the need for action with the need for a fact-based perspective that optimizes use of data, intuition and expertise. Strategic Risk Taking: Leaders who exhibit this competency constantly scan the environment for growth potential and pursue these opportunities tenaciously, even in the face of significant risk and despite resistance. Earning Trust: Leaders who exhibit this competency develop mutual trust with people inside and outside of IBM based on respect, integrity, positive regard and an appreciation of the uniqueness of every person. Enabling Performance and Growth: Leaders who exhibit this competency anticipate and remove obstacles that interfere with people's ability to deliver value to the client in pursuit of business growth. Developing IBMs People and Communities: Leaders who exhibit this competency commit significant time and effort to develop themselves and other individuals, teams, and communities in IBM to better serve our clients and the world. Passion for IBMs Future: Leaders who exhibit this competency are passionate about IBM's capabilities and opportunities for impacting our clients and the world, and deeply believe in the quality and breadth of IBM's exceptional capability. What these competencies show us is that we communicate in many ways and for many reasons and we do so simultaneously. Its what we sayor what we dont say (e.g., Client Partnering, Collaborative Influence).

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Its how we say ittone of voice, excitement, level of conviction (e.g., Embracing Complexity, Passion for IBMs Future). And it is clearly what we doand again, dont do (e.g., Strategic Risk Taking, Enabling Performance and Growth). It is imperative to understand that leaders ability to communicate must be two-way. Its not just about sending accurate and impactful messages but also receiving them. Listening not only communicates respect (e.g., Earning Trust) but allows us to get the data we need to make sound and timely decisions (e.g., Informed Judgment). Open communication allows learning to take place. Moreover, large organizations such as IBM can, if leaders are not careful, often leave people feeling anonymous, powerless, and without a sense of relationship to the whole. Effective leaders create climates in which two-way communication occurs. This deepens people's sense of belongingthat they matter. This, in turn, builds a sense of ownership and commitment; and increases their efforts toward accomplishing shared goals. Return to top of page

How can you become a more effective communicator?


To paraphrase Marshall McLuhan, "Let the medium fit the message." See the matrix below: Need for Interpretation: In many cases you must interpret or "translate" communications you are passing along. For example, when a new process is introduced, you must explain the impact this will have on the team and individual members.

Emotional Response to Content: Consider the reaction people will have to the message you are delivering. It can be quite emotional, particularly if people are personally affected. Plan how you'll handle that response.

Explanation of 4 Quadrants: 1. When the need for interpretation is high and the emotional response to content is also likely to be high, you are the best communicator. You must explain its relevance to your people. If the news could cause an emotional response, allow time for discussion. Give people time to internalize and rationalize the change. Examples: Restructuring of business unit, changes to compensation programs, changes in work location. 2. When the need for interpretation is high and the emotional response to content is likely to be low, technology can be used to convey the message. It is still important that you explain the relevance and provide the opportunity for discussion.
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Example: Communication of business-unit strategy. 3. When the need for interpretation is low and the emotional response to content is also likely to be low, one standard communication can be provided for everyone in your organization. Just make sure everyone has access to the delivery channel (e.g., email, w3) in which you send the communication intended for everyone to see. Example: Sending a news item about someone in the business who has changed roles, won an award, etc. 4. When the emotional response to content is likely to be high but the need for interpretation is low, it may be important for you to meet with your team or with individual employees one-on-one. Example: Announcement that the Business Unit executive has resigned to join a competitor. Return to top of page

How can you communicate effectively in a world of technology?


Set expectations with your team. Consider who is remote and who is co-located. A new hire or a new team member probably has different communication requirements (both style and content) than more experienced team members have. He or she may need more "telling" (how to complete a process, whom to contact). Involve your employees. Let them help make decisions on how and when to communicate. They will have more commitment to an arrangement which they helped to craft. Communication is a shared responsibility. It is not just your job to keep in touch with your employees. They must be willing to stay connected with you and with each other. Make sure they understand this.

Establish ground rules about the technology you will use and when you will communicate. Consider creating a team Code of Conduct. For example, a team norm could require all urgent messages to be communicated by voice mail, and that team members check voice mail at least every two hours. E-mail -- Lotus Notes -- is probably IBM's most widely used technology tool -- and there are right and wrong ways to handle it. Review the guidelines for writing effective e-mails and "netiquette" in the Tools section of this QuickView and share this with your teams. SameTime allows instant contact. However, both senders and receiver should be aware that it could also constitute an interruption. When having an important conversation with another or in a meeting, it may be appropriate to not be on SameTime. For insights into a wide range of communication technology, read Communicating for Clarity in the Article section of this QuickView. Return to top of page

Communication for Leaders: FAQs

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So much information comes at me. How do I effectively communicate it to my employees? You probably don't need to communicate all information. Be sure about what you want to communicate, when and how. The information in the Basics section of this Quick View, "Let the medium fit the message" and "appropriate use of technology" will help you to become more effective in your communication. My new hires need to get up to speed quickly, but they don't really know anything about how IBM operates. How do I get them plugged into the right communications channels? New employees, most of all, need a manager's attention. Make sure you spend time with your new team members during their first days at IBM. Consider assigning someone who can assist then with their questions and advise them about communication channels available on an ongoing basis, e.g., Intranet sites, dates for team meetings, etc. How can I increase the (personal) communication between the senior management of our business unit and my team? You can initiate personal communication by inviting senior managers to participate in your face-to-face team meetings or to speak on team conference calls. They usually welcome the opportunity to talk to small groups of people in round-table sessions. Invite them to make customer calls with individuals on your team as their schedules permit. f page I understand non-verbal communication is important. But how does it work? Research shows that communication is made up of three elements: (1) words, (2) the tone of voice with which the words are spoken, and (3) the physical manifestations (facial expression, posture, etc.) that accompany the words. Tone of Voice includes pitch, rate, timbre, and other vocal characteristics which communicate or express feeling. For example: Tone of Voice Monotone Low speed, low pitch High voice, emphatic pitch Ascending tone Abrupt speech Terse speech, loud tone High speech, drawn-out speech Expressed Feeling Boredom Depression Enthusiasm Astonishment Defensiveness Anger Disbelief

Physical Manifestations include the following: Facial Expressions. These are probably the most important emotional giveaways. They portray what really matters to a person. Eyes. The eyes also express feelings. They "twinkle" with delight, become red and watery with sadness, "glower" with hostility, etc. Posture and Gestures. These show feelings, self-image and energy levels.

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Clothing and Grooming. These are indicators of confidence and self-worth. I have remote employees. How can I stay in touch with them without appearing to be "checking up" or micromanaging them? Set clear expectations with your employees on the best ways for you and them to communicate and on results expected. How do I facilitate good communication between team members without appearing to be taking control of things? Let the team create its own Code of Conduct, and have them conduct an assessment (a great Team Assessment Survey is available) on team performance. Then let them manage themselves to these agreements. I'm a first-line manager and information doesn't seem to filter down to me. How can I keep my people up to date on what is happening when I am kept in the dark? Are you on the appropriate distribution lists? Do you have access to databases/teamrooms that are relevant to your role? Do you attend appropriate meetings? Perhaps you need to do a little "Managing Up" to make sure you're kept in the need-to-know loop. "The meaning of communication is the response you get. If you are not getting the response you want, change what you are doing." Dr. Genie Z. Laborde, "Influencing with Integrity"

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Communication for Leaders: Resources

Free from
The Manager as Facilitator by Judy Wichard and Nathalie L. Kees. 160 pages, Preager Publsihers, 2006. Featuring diagnostic exercises, worksheets, examples, and an extensive listing of resources, this guide will provide individuals and teams with the tools to promote effective communication, capitalize on diversity, and improve productivity.

Books from Barnes & Noble


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Note: Barnes&Noble.com is available via IBM's BonD system for business related purchases If you wish to purchase any of the titles below for business purposes: Access BonD from w3.ibm.com (Choose "Buy on demand" under "Essential Links" on the left side of the IBM "W3 On Demand Workplace" landing page). This will take you directly to BonD where you will be required to sign in with your IBM ID and password. Look for "Catalog" shopping and select "All Catalogs" Select Barnes & Noble catalog Personal orders can be placed via the Barnes & Noble IBM Store. You will receive an extra 5% discount, but you must supply your personal credit card information at check out. Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In, by Roger Fisher and William Ury; Bruce Patton (Editor). 187 pages, Viking Penguin, May 1998. This classic book offers a concise, step-by-step, proven strategy for coming to mutually acceptable agreements in every sort of conflict.

People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others and Resolve Conflicts, by Robert H. Bolton. 300 pages, Simon & Schuster Trade, January 1979. A communications skills handbook that describes the 12 most common communication barriers, showing how these "roadblocks" damage relationships by increasing defensiveness, aggressiveness or dependency. It presents effective skills for listening, asserting yourself, resolving conflicts and working out problems with others. Powerful Conversations: How High Impact Leaders Communicate, by Philip J. Harkins; Foreword by Warren G. Bennis. 256 pages, McGraw-Hill, September 1999. Here you will meet some remarkable communicators who use Powerful Conversation techniques to have their voices heard throughout their organization, to instill trust and loyalty and to imbed change when change is necessary. Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life, One Conversation at a Time by Susan Scott, Ken Blanchard. 320 pages, Penguin Group, January 2004. The master teacher of positive change through powerful communication, Susan Scott wants her readers to succeed. To do that, she explains, one must transform everyday conversations employing effective ways to get the message across. In this guide, which includes exercises and tools to take you step by step through the Seven Principles of Fierce Conversations, Scott

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teaches readers how to: - Overcome barriers to meaningful communication - Expand and enrich conversations with colleagues, friends, and family - Increase clarity and improve understanding - Handle strong emotions-on both sides of the table

IBM Resources
The Making a Presentation QuickView offers guidance on how best to communicate your message via a presentation. Meetings Management Learning Suite Meetings Management is about how meetings can either be an important part of how we get work done, or they can be dreaded by all involved. You can learn techniques to manage an effective meeting in order to achieve the former and avoid the latter outcome. Remote and Mobile Management Learning Suite Remote and Mobile Employees do not work in the same location as their managers. Some work at a single location while others are frequently in transit. Seven of every ten IBM managers have at least one remote employee. This trend is growing. Managing remote employees takes some special approaches Derailment Factors Learning Suite Derailment Factors are personal characteristics that, if exhibited in the workplace, are likely to result in failure as a leader.

Articles from
The following Harvard articles are provided compliments of IBM Leadership Development: The Smart-Talk Trap by Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert I. Sutton. Have you ever seen a team confronted with a business problem act as if discussing and formulating an action plan is the same as actually fixing it? Often businesses can be plagued by employees "knowing too much but doing too little" and the willingness to let talk substitute for action. Action is critical to success. Fortunately there are strategies to help you avoid the trap of "Smart-Talk". (You may also be interested in

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the related QuickView based on this article.)

Primal Leadership: The Hidden Driver of Great Performance by Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis, and Annie McKee. The greatest influence to a company's bottom line just may surprise you... yet makes perfect sense. It's a leader's mood. Emotional intelligence has clear links to a leader's performance, while their emotional style can drive everyone else's mood and behavior impacting a company's overall performance. Emotional style isn't just about putting on a game face. It's about understanding your impact on others and adjusting your style accordingly. The following suggested articles are available from Harvard Business School Publishing: Strategic Stories: How 3M is Rewriting Business Planning, Harvard Business Review, May-June, 1998. Transforming a business plan from a list of bullet points into a story tells everyone not only what the goals are but also how to reach them. The Necessary Art of Persuasion. Harvard Business Review, May-June, 1998. The language of leadership is misunderstood, under-used and more essential than ever. The Human Moment at Work. Harvard Business Review, JanuaryFebruary, 1999. E-mail and voice mail are efficient but face-to-face contact is still essential to true communication.

Communication for Leaders: Article


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Communicating for Clarity: blogs, wikis and other things


Managers have many options for communicating with employees (and each other) You have many options for communicating with your employees - and with peers, colleagues and upline managers too. There are the "typical" ways -- e-mail, voice mail, meetings, teleconferences, team rooms and even face-to-face conversations. Increasingly, however, IBMers are discovering some newer, more high-tech ways of communicating and collaborating. Most everyone uses instant messaging (Sametime, NotesBuddy or IBM Community Tools) these days, and that's great for getting quick answers and multitasking, but it can also be intrusive or distracting. Here are some other ideas to consider:

Blogs
A blog, short for "weblog," is a web page made up of usually short, frequently updated posts arranged chronologicallyessentially an online journal or diary. The content and purposes of blogs vary greatlyfrom

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links and commentary about other web sites, to news about a company, person or idea, to diaries, travelogues, essays and project updates. But what makes blogs unique and useful is their interactive, dynamic nature. Readers can add comments to blog entries and other readers can respond, resulting in an exchange of ideas and opinions. Some blogs have readership in the thousands, and have become quite influential. Other blogs have smaller, more intimate readership where readers form a community of sorts, building relationships and networks. Leaders can use blogs in several ways, including: Blogs as communication vehicles - for communicating with teams and employees. Obviously, you wouldn't want to post trade secrets or confidential information, but you could set up a blog for you and your team to share ideas and information, post interesting news items and links, brainstorm, or provide status updates. This might be particularly effective for teams spanning multiple time zones, because it doesn't require "real-time" interaction or participation. "Most managers have a bundle of ideas bubbling away that they might want their team to think about, and [blogging] is a way of establishing sort of a mini-portal for their own team, sharing, putting in links, asking for comments and feedback," says Dave Clarke, a UK .... who posted a ThinkPlace idea about having managers use blogs as an alternate form of communication. "It might help reduce the volume of email that they push down to employees." Blogs as idea-sharing tools - for communicating with fellow managers to share tips and "best practices." Either start your own management blog to share and solicit ideas, or read others' blogs and contribute ideas as comments and discussion topics. See the sidebar for some examples of IBM managers and execs who are already blogging. Blogs as "news" media - for learning about managing and work and other related topics. There are a variety of blogs out there that managers can read to pick up information and tips and ideas. To keep up with your favorite blogs (and websites and podcasts, for that matter), you'll want to "subscribe" using an RSS feed reader or aggregator. Two popular (and free) RSS feed readers are ipodder and newsgator, but there are many other options available. See The Blogline for a good idea of the scope and range of blog usage. External blogs about managing and management Tom Peters Worthwhile Agile Management IBM managers are blogging Several IBM managers and executives blog. Some are internal (hosted on IBM's Blog Central pilot), others are outside the firewall. Visit their blogs to see the topics, ideas, updates and observations posted. It might inspire you to start blogging yourself! Jon Iwata CHQ Peter Kirby Doing Things Differently - GBS Japan John Rooney blogolizing

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Slacker Manager Management Blog

Wikis
A wiki is a Web application that allows users to collaboratively create and update content. The term "wiki" comes from a Hawaiian word that means "quick," "fast," or "to hasten". Wiki users can contribute original content, as well as edit and update content provided by others, resulting in a living, changing document. Examples of wikis include glossaries, users' guides, and the like. Managers could use wikis with their teams to establish interactive policies and procedure guides, style guides or codes of conduct, share and update project status, or collaboratively update various plans or other types of documents. One of the most popular wikis on the Web is Wikipedia, a free online encyclopedia with millions of articles in English, as well as other languages. IBM's WikiCentral is where IBMers can create and maintain Wikis.

Podcasts
A podcast is a series of audio files published to the Internet that users can download and listen to. Podcasts typically use an RSS feed, which works like a subscription service, notifying users and downloading new files when they become available. Misconceptions about podcasts: Thinking that any audio file you can download and listen to is called a "podcast." This is not the case. This is usually an MP3 -- or audio -- file. In order to be appropriately categorized as a podcast, it should be a series that listeners can subscribe to. Thinking you have to listen to a podcast on an iPod. - Although that is one of the most ubiquitous personal digital audio players, and where the term "podcast" comes from -- it's a hybrid of "iPod" and "broadcast". You can listen to a podcast right on your computer, or save it onto another medium, like a CD, for portable listening. You can also use any other portable audio device capable of playing MP3 files, including some cell phones. IBMers use podcasts for to communicate with customers, the investor community, deliver learning and much more! Check out Multimedia Central for more information. Return to top of page Need help deciding how best to communicate and collaborate? Blogs, wikis and podcasts aren't your only options - they're just some of the new technologies getting a lot of press and attention these days. You could also conduct an e-meeting or webcast, establish a Teamroom or QuickPlace, or use a Forum or ActionNet to dive into certain issues with your team. Check out Collaboration Central, a comprehensive source for information on IBM's collaboration tools, programs, best practices, technology and news. It's a great place to start when looking for your ThinkPlace ideas in action Your colleagues are already thinking about these new ways to communicate, and they're talking about them in ThinkPlace. Join the discussions on blogging, webcasts and

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collaboration solution. Use Collaboration Advisor for guidance in selecting the right tool for the right task. It's a self-guided step-by-step "wizard" that asks you what you're trying to accomplish and what size team you have, then offers you suggestions on how best to collaborate and communicate in that instance. Then, you get linked right to the appropriate page for an overview of how that particular method or program works, its benefits and contact information for further assistance.

podcasts and even taking a break from all the e-mail. An IBM user name and password is required for ThinkPlace access.

IBM Forums Managers: How are you communicating and collaborating with your team and peers? Have you experimented with any of the new technologies, or do you plan to give them a try? Consider joining a discussion forum to learn about and share examples of effective communications techniques. IBM Business Conduct Guidelines apply. All content is proprietary to IBM and for internal use only. Related materials: Communications for Leaders Learning Suite Remote and Mobile Management QuickView Related story: Podcasts and Wikis and Blogs, oh my! Return to top of page

Communication for Leaders: Tips/Traps


TIPS
Establish easy to understand instructions and follow ground rules on communication. Create a Code of Conduct regarding communications with your team. Ask your manager and peers how they have organized for effective communication within their team(s). Think about the impact of what you are communicating... before you actually do so!

TRAPS
Failing to understand that email can be used as legal evidence. Think carefully about what you write. People can change your e-mails. They can be edited and re-sent. Protect or keep copies of e-mails that communicate important information, e.g., expense approvals, etc.

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Communication for Leaders: Tools


top of page The use of technology has created new communication "do's and don't's." These printable charts can be handy reminders for you and others. Writing Effective E-mails Audio and Video Conferencing Barriers to Effective Interpersonal Communication Environmental Factors Writing Effective E-mails x

Subject Line:

Be descriptive so readers know what you're writing about and can find your note later. Indicate urgency and whether action is required. For example: "Hot customer satisfaction issue, need response by tomorrow!" Body of Note: State the objective of your message in the first line: "This is to ask for your approval....."; "This is to invite you..."; etc. This lets the recipient know right away what action you require. Be concise. Choose words carefully. Write with the audience in mind. Limit your message to one subject. Limit your message to 25 lines... about one computer screen. Use "sections" ("twisties") where appropriate in longer notes. Keep paragraphs short. Add a blank line between paragraphs. Use bold type to highlight main points. Dont SHOUT ... using ALL CAPITAL LETTERS is considered shouting. Netiquette: Dont send blanket messages to everyone on a distribution list if only 3 or 4 people need the information. If recipient needs take action, then e-mail should be addressed to him or her. If recipients are copied on a memo, their expectation is that they dont need to take any action.

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When marking e-mail urgent, ask yourself the question "Is urgent action required by the recipient?" Only send urgent e-mail if the answer is yes. Dont forward large-file attachments unless you know the recipient wants or needs them. Dont forward trails of notes unless it's necessary to make sense of your note. Dont use e-mail to address "emotional" topics. Ensure that you have a footer on your e-mails -- your name and contact details such as your phone and fax number. Thought Provokers: Some people know you only from the e-mail you send. Ensure that your e-mails reflect your professionalism. Get to know the communication style of those with whom you communicate frequently. How often do they access their e-mails? Do they prefer urgent messages by e-mail or voice mail?

Return to top of page Audio and Video Conferencing Helpful Hints for Audio Conferences Start your meeting with a roll call to ensure everyone is there and that all attendees know who is present. Stress the need for promptness. Speak at your usual pitch and volume. Use peoples names. State your name before you speak. Try to set a group size that encourages participation. If a large group, establish a process for questions. Direct questions to sites or to people. Avoid general "What do you think?" or "Any comments?" Dont use any Hold features as this will frequently pipe music into the conference. Mute your audio when necessary. Helpful Hints for Video Conferences: Make sure everyone knows who is at each site. Use names whenever practical. Stress the need for promptness. Ask permission of all participants before recording any session. Avoid side chatter and excessive movement and mute your audio when necessary. Learn to operate essential buttons on the keypad.

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Dont rustle papers, click pens, eat or drink, or side chat over the microphone. It is extremely insensitive. Adopt a relaxed speaking style, speak expressively and use natural facial gestures. Allow pauses and wait for responses, to adapt to the slight audio delay. You do not need to lean forward over the microphone. Talk as you would normally, with a natural posture. Avoid unnecessary movement, like swivelling the chair or excessive body language and gesticulating. Concentrating on a video conference screen is tiring. Breaks are important. Video conferencing is about interacting, sharing views, showing visual information, asking questions, demonstrating, commenting, inviting feedback, reporting and much more. Invite participants to speak early in the session. Informal introductions and chat as people arrive is a good ice-breaker. Use body language, verbal clues, pauses for comment, to raise responses. If making a more formal presentation, plan frequent stops for comments/questions. Direct questions to names sites or people, rather than a general "What do you think?" Ensure size of group encourages participation, or in large groups there is a process for questions.

Return to top of page Barriers to Effective Interpersonal Communication Many ways of communicating carry a risk of rendering the conversation ineffective and are harmful to the relationships and trigger feelings of inadequacy, anger or dependency. The table below lists barriers to effective interpersonal communication. This information was adapted from Robert Bolton's, People Skills ... How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others and Resolve Conflict (see Resources. Criticizing Making a negative evaluation of the other person, their actions or attitudes. Name-calling/ Stereotyping the other person, e.g., "You are just an Labeling insensitive male"...."You are just an overemotional female." Diagnosing Analyzing why a person is behaving as they are. Playing the amateur psychiatrist. Some people look for hidden meanings instead of listening to the substance of what is being said. Praising evaluatively Making a positive judgment of the other person. Praise is often used as a gimmick to get people to change their behavior and can therefore be manipulative.

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Threatening Moralizing/ Preaching Excessive/ Inappropriate Questioning Advising

Diverting

Logical Argument

Reassuring

Trying to control the other's actions by warning of negative consequences that you will instigate if the solution is not forthcoming. Telling another person what they should or should not do. Moralizing contains lots of "shoulds" and "oughts." Close-ended questions are often barriers in a relationship. They can be a real conversation stopper or deflect the conversation toward irrelevancy. Giving a person a solution to their problems. Advice is often an insult to the intelligence and implies a lack of confidence in the capacity of the person to understand and cope with their own difficulties. In many cases, the advisor doesn't understand the full implications of the problem. Pushing the other person's problems aside through distraction or switching the conversation from their concerns to your own topic. People divert conversations for many reasons. One of the most common is being uncomfortable with the emotions elicited by the conversation. Attempting to persuade the other person with an appeal to facts or logic usually without consideration of the emotional factors involved. In situations of personal and interpersonal stress, logic keeps others at an emotional distance by focusing on facts and dismissing feelings. Trying to keep the other person from feeling the negative emotions involved. Reassurance is often used by people who like the idea of being helpful but who do not want to experience the emotional demands that go with it.

Return to top of page Environmental Factors Factors in the environment that can be barriers to effective communication include: Noise Excessive noise, including others within hearing distance. Perception Preconceived attitudes can affect our ability to listen Status Listening uncritically to people of high status and dismissing those of low status Facts vs. Ideas Focusing on the facts/details rather than the idea/big picture Semantics/ Listening to the words, not the message Language Stress People do not see things the same way when under stress Defensiveness Feeling we are being attacked Superiority Feeling that we know better than the other person Ego Focusing on ourselves rather than the other person Withholding Believing certain information is not of value to others, or that they already know the information Relevance Message has not been made relevant to the individual or audience Trust Trust has been broken earlier

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