Complete Training Document Final Version

The Emotional Intelligence Training Materials
These training materials are designed for use by all people working in call and contact centres (we use the terms call and contact centres interchangeably) i.e. agents, representatives, team leaders, trainers, managers, coaches etc. The production of the materials was supported by the European Leonardo da Vinci programme. The purpose of the materials is to raise the emotional intelligence skills of people answering or making calls, and also between those working within a contact centre. If people are more aware of, and in control of their emotions they are likely to: Be more productive and more successful. Feel less stressed. Have better relations with their customers, co-workers, boss etc. Have less time off work through sickness. Feel more satisfied with their job. We believe that these training materials are the first ones to be published for contact centres which address this important area of emotional intelligence. The subject of emotional intelligence is large and we have chosen some of the main areas which we think will be useful for people working in contact centres. The materials can be used for self-study in their hard-copy form and can be used by team leaders, trainers and managers to help design classes for groups of people. They can also be read onscreen using the CD-Rom or printed out for personal use and training. The materials can be read from cover to cover but their value is more useful when they are dipped into and used appropriately to develop skills. They can be used after conducting a training needs analysis; as part of a personal development plan; after listening to call recordings; or simply for personal development. We hope that you enjoy using these training materials and applying the learning in your work and your personal lives.
Good luck The CONTAKT Leonardo Team
The CONTAKT Leonardo Team

John Wilson Institute of Work Psychology, University of Sheffield. j.p.wilson@sheffield.ac.uk Janet Brookman Institute of Work Psychology, University of Sheffield. Christine Cross Kemmy Business School, University of Limerick. christine.cross@ul.ie. Andries de Grip Research Centre for Education and the Labour Market (ROA) Maastricht University. a.degrip@roa.unimaas.nl Thomas Garavan Kemmy Business School, University of Limerick. thomas.garavan@ul.ie David Holman Institute of Work Psychology, University of Sheffield. d.holman@sheffield.ac.uk Colin Mackay Contact Centre Association (CCA) Glasgow. colinm@cca.org.uk Inge Sieben Research Centre for Education and the Labour Market (ROA) Maastricht University. i.sieben@roa.unimaas.nl Christer Strandberg Department of Social Sciences at Mid Sweden University. christer.strandberg@miun.se Hans Tegeback Adeator Consulting Group, Sundsvall, Sweden. hans.tegeback@adeator.se Jasper van Loo Research Centre for Education and the Labour Market (ROA) Maastricht University. j.vanloo@roa.unimaas.nl
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Contents
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12.
What is Emotional Intelligence? Understanding and Managing Stress Self Management Developing Positive Self-Talk Keeping Motivated Communication Strategies Understanding How to be Assertive Transactional Analysis Handling Difficult People Selling Techniques Happiness Bibliography
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1. What is Emotional Intelligence?

"Knowing others and knowing oneself, in one hundred battles no danger. Not knowing the other and knowing oneself, one victory for one loss. Not knowing the other and not knowing oneself, in every battle certain defeat." Sun Tzu, The Art of War In this chapter you will learn about: The origins of emotional intelligence. The relevance of emotional intelligence in the workplace. Techniques to apply emotional intelligence in work and general situations.
The Development of Emotional Intelligence Multiple Intelligences

For decades people were only aware of the notion of intelligence quotient or IQ and it was often used to select people for jobs and other activities. An IQ of 100 was meant to represent the average and people possessing lower or higher scores were assumed to have lower or higher intelligence. Yet, we all probably know so-called intelligent people who are unable to interact with other people, cannot cook, are unable to change the tyre on a car, and cannot do many other ordinary things which the majority of us take for granted. Likewise, there are many people who are not assumed to be intelligent but can communicate wonderfully with other people, can quickly mend a car, or possess fantastic skills on the football field or golf course. This anomaly was recognised by a number of people and caused Howard Gardner, an American academic, to carry out some research. He concluded that people possessed multiple intelligences and he initially identified seven of these: Mathematical-logical - the ability to organise thoughts sequentially and logically. Verbal-linguistic - the ability to understand and express ideas through language. Bodily-kinaesthetic - the gaining of knowledge through feedback from physical activity. Musical - sensitivity to tone, pitch and rhythm, and the ability to reproduce them. 1
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Visual-Spatial - the ability to learn directly through images and to think intuitively without the use of language. Inter-personal - the ability to notice and make discriminations regarding the moods, temperaments, motivations and intentions of others. Intra-personal - having access to ones own feelings.
Emotional Intelligence
The last two of Gardners multiple intelligences are of particular interest for those working in contact centres. Interpersonal intelligence is that which involves recognising and responding to the emotions of others. Intrapersonal intelligence involves recognising and responding to our own emotions. We have divided this guide into eleven chapters which deal with intrapersonal and interpersonal intelligence. In the table below you will find the chapters which relate to each of these forms of intelligence. Intrapersonal Chapter 2: Stress Handling Techniques Chapter 3: Self Management Chapter 5: Keeping Motivated Chapter 11: Happiness Interpersonal Chapter 6: Communication Strategies Chapter 7: Assertiveness Techniques Chapter 9: Handling Difficult People Chapter 10: Selling Techniques
Chapter 4: Developing Positive Self-Talk Chapter 8: Transactional Analysis
Gardners research was one of the reasons for emotions being given greater recognition and priority than had previously occurred. A few years later two authors Peter Salovey and John Mayer (1990) described the term emotional intelligence. They defined emotional intelligence as, A form of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor ones own and others feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide ones thinking and action. Sometime later, Daniel Goleman (1995) wrote a book titled Emotional Intelligence which greatly popularised the concept. Goleman agreed with Salovey and Mayer that there were five main domains of emotional intelligence: 1. Knowing ones emotions. 2. Managing emotions. 3. Motivating oneself. 4. Recognising emotions in others. 5. Handling relationships. 2
How the brain works

Much of the work on emotional intelligence has been supported by recent advances in understanding the way in which our brains work. The diagrams below explain how the brain functions differently in normal circumstances and when under pressure.
How the Brain Processes Information

Thalamus (air traffic controller) Cortex
1. Signals are received through our senses i.e. sight, sound, touch, taste, smell and are transmitted to the thalamus. 2. The thalamus acts like an air traffic controller and directs the messages to the cortex (the conscious thinking part of the brain) and the amygdala (which deals with emotions).
Amygdala
3. We process the information and then act on it where necessary.
The diagram above shows that under normal circumstances the brain processes information it receives from our senses through the part of the brain known as the thalamus which interprets this information so as to direct it to the most relevant centres in the brain so that we can act appropriately on the information received. In many situations the thalamus directs the information to the cortex where it can be consciously interpreted. In other situations and particularly in emergency situations, the brain behaves slightly differently as shown in the diagram below.
Emotional Thinking
Thalamus (air traffic controller) Cortex
1. Signals are received through our senses e.g. a bus about to run over us.
Amygdala 2. The thalamus recognises a potential danger and immediately sends the message to the amygdala bypassing the cortex. 3. The amygdala stimulates the release of peptides and hormones which result in emotion and fast responses. We step back onto the pavement.
This diagram shows us what happens in an emergency situation, such as stepping off the pavement into the path of an incoming bus. The brain bypasses the conscious cortex and sends the information directly to the amydala, which is the emotional centre of the brain and which calls for an immediate intuitive response. There is a strong reason for the thalamus to quickly send a message to the amygdala and that is survival. For example, if you step off a pavement and suddenly see a bus bearing down on you, your first response is not to notice that it is the Number 19; that it is full and people are standing up, and there is an advertisement for breakfast cereal on the side. The first thing you do when you see the bus is to leap back to the safety of the pavement.
When the signal goes from the thalamus to the amygdala it takes a few thousandths of a second less than if it goes to the cortex. This can be the difference between a serious accident and safety.
The part of the brain which causes us to experience emotions is called the limbic system and this includes the brain stem and amygdala. This understanding of how emotions can govern our behaviour has greatly added to the study of emotional intelligence.
Emotional Hijackings
One danger which can arise from our emotional responses is that they are sometimes out of date. The amygdala checks what we are currently experiencing and compares it with our past experiences. If it finds similarities in the present which match with emotional events from the past it triggers an emotional response. However, this emotional response which was imprinted on the brain a long time ago may not reflect the true nature of the current circumstances. This is known as emotional hijacking when an emotional response is out of proportion to the actual situation. Sometimes we have an instinctive emotional response to what we perceive as a threat. This can make us angry or perhaps experience some other emotion. In these circumstances it can be very easy to get carried away in the moment. However, to hit someone or to run away is not normally the best way to handle an incident in the workplace. Likewise, if someone shouts at us on the telephone we might feel like shouting back or disconnecting the call, but it will not achieve a positive outcome. So what can we do? Well, the old advice of counting to ten really was valuable and is now backed up by scientific evidence. Essentially what happens is that the brain is flooded by electro-chemicals and these may cause it to respond in an emotional way. Fortunately, their impact rapidly decreases after 3 - 6 seconds which then allows us to think more rationally. So, the next time you feel emotionally pressured count to six or to ten. When angry, count to ten before you speak; if very angry, an hundred. Thomas Jefferson
Measuring Emotional Intelligence

There are a number of psychometric tests which claim to assess peoples emotional intelligence. These include: EQ-I (Bar-On, 1997) this is a self report questionnaire which assesses personal qualities in which some people have better emotional well-being. Emotional Competency Inventory (Goleman, 1998) this involves 360-degree evaluation of people in the organisation and provides individual feedback reports as well as for the whole organisation.
Multi-factor Emotional Intelligence Scale (Mayer, Caruso and Salovery, 1998) this test assesses the ability of a person to recognise, identify, understand and work with emotions. While it can be useful to be able to assess the extent of a persons emotional intelligence there are some reservations about whether or not it is possible to accurately measure it. Moreover, it is not entirely clear which types of emotional intelligence are best suited to specific circumstances. Indeed, Goleman (1995), one of the leading figures in emotional intelligence, originally expressed uncertainty about whether it was possible to produce a questionnaire to accurately measure emotions.
Emotional Intelligence in the Work place

Advantages of Emotional Intelligence Numerous research projects have shown that high emotional intelligence has a significant impact on sales and performance at work. US and UK research has shown for example that: In an international consulting firm, partners who were high on emotional intelligence achieved $1.2m more profit. In a study of over 300 top US executives emotional intelligence distinguished high achievers. US insurance agents who were weak on emotional intelligence sold less than half that of colleagues who scored high on emotional intelligence. The main cause of career disruption for top US executives was identified as lack of emotional intelligence. UK supermarket managers high on emotional intelligence experienced better performance, less stress, and better health. (Chapman, 2001).
Working in Call Centres

Working in a call centre is often a challenging occupation. It is also significantly different to many other office-based jobs. Research into the subject suggests that it is demanding and sometimes stressful for numerous reasons. Some of the factors that may contribute to the stresses of working in call centres are listed below: There may be high levels of monitoring. The agent has a reduced degree of personal control over his/her own work levels. In many cases the customers call requires first time resolution.
A wide range of knowledge is often required about many aspects of the organisations operations. The agent is often in the firing line of a callers complaint about the services or products of his/her organisation. It can be difficult not to take the callers frustration or disappointment personally, especially as he/she is not directly responsible for the cause of the callers complaint. After a difficult or confrontational call it is difficult to unwind afterwards. The role of an agent requires him/her to multi-task a number of different operations at the same time e.g. listening and speaking to the caller; typing information into the computer; navigating the system etc. The agent needs to quickly identify the mood of the caller so that they can respond appropriately. The agent often has to behave in a way which may be contrary to the way he/she is actually feeling. The agent has to disguise his/her true feelings. The agent needs to have good language skills. The agent needs to have good listening skills. The agent needs to display a positive interest in the caller. The person also needs to recognise signs of stress in fellow workers so that they can provide support for his/her colleagues. The person needs to learn how to stop taking home work problems and pressures. The agent needs to have the same level of energy and enthusiasm at the end of the shift as at the beginning. The agent needs to sound interested even if it is at the two-hundredth time of asking. The agent may have to cross-sell or up-sell services or products. Managing rapidly changing work levels can be difficult as call volumes fluctuate
This is by no means an exhaustive list neither are all of the situations unique to call centres, but they can all contribute to stress for call centre staff.
Emotional Labour
Working in a call centre has a number of similarities to being employed in other areas of the service sector such as retailing and catering. For example, when you go to a restaurant and find the waiter rude or offhand this influences the overall quality of the evening. Although the food may be of the highest standards it is not normally good enough to fully compensate for the poor service which we experienced. In essence, when we are customers we want to feel that the other person is interested in us and our concerns. The quality of the interaction is measured not just by whether we get what we want but also by how positive the person was delivering the service. For this reason, contact centres employ people who are well motivated, have good energy levels, can communicate well listening as well as speaking, can empathise with the caller, and are positive. It can be summed up by the statement, Smiling down the telephone. One of the personal attributes required for working in many call centres is to be lively, energetic and bubbly. But, as we can see in the points above, it is sometimes very hard to present a lively disposition when we dont really feel like it, or we have had a long and tiring day. In order to maintain this positive disposition all the time many people adopt a positive persona. That is, they act and use their skills to give the impression of being very interested and positive. This is called surface acting when a person doesnt really believe in what they are saying. In some respects there is a dissonance between how they are feeling and how they are behaving, and this can create stress. An alternative option is to deep act. This means believing or buying into the product or service which you are offering. In this way, because you believe in what you are doing it becomes easier to present a positive attitude and it is therefore less stressful. In the following section we will look at how we can apply principles of emotional intelligence to improve general work performance. We will also deal with how to better manage the difficult times using other techniques.
Using Emotional Intelligence in Call Centres The Range of Emotions

The range of emotions which we can experience is vast and sometimes it is possible to swing from emotion to another in a short space of time.
Exercise Take a look at some of the emotions below and think about times when you experienced these feelings and what it felt like.
aggression boredom disgust fear happiness loneliness rejection
anger confidence enjoyment grief hate love sadness
anxiety depression envy guilt joy pride shame
The feelings which we experience can sometimes be very powerful and have a great influence over our behaviour. Just by thinking about these emotions can give us a flavour of how powerful they can be.
Dealing with Emotions

The way in which a person handles her/his emotions may differ from that of other people. As can be seen in the chapter on Stress, how we respond to circumstances is very much dependent on who we are and our sensitivity at the time e.g. if we are tired or hungry our response may be very different from when we are full of energy. According to Mayer, there would appear to be three ways in which people deal with emotions: Self-aware people are aware of their emotions. Engulfed people feel overwhelmed by their emotions. Accepting people accept their moods.
Depending on the, we may respond in any of these three ways. Sometimes we are aware of our emotions and manage them to suit the situation (self-aware). On other occasions we may become engulfed and overwhelmed by the circumstances and find ourselves unable to deal with the situation logically in light of our emotions (engulfed). Lastly we may recognise our emotions and just accept that we are having a bad day or are in a particularly good mood and not alter our behaviour to accommodate the situation (accepting).
The Behavioural Cycle

My level of selfesteem Their behaviour influences my selfesteem Influences my behaviour
Their opinions affect their behaviour to me
The people I meet only see my behaviour
They develop opinions about me
They react to my behaviour
The Behavioural Cycle

The diagram below shows how our behaviour is influenced by our self-esteem. For example, if we are not feeling very confident we may project ourselves uncertainly. This appearance is then noticed others and influences their response to us. For example, our uncertainty may make them less sure of our intentions or affect their confidence in what we are talking about. In sales situations this can be very detrimental to the success of the interaction. We pick up on their uncertainty and this can have a negative impact on our self-esteem. This may be described as a vicious cycle of negativity. However, we can create a virtuous cycle in which we present ourselves confidently and this has a positive effect on others. Their positive reaction then feeds back to us and further boosts our self esteem. It is clear that our behaviour towards others can have a direct impact on our own emotional well-being and vice versa.
Culture Shock
One specific source of stress or problems in the work-place can be culture shock. This response to different environments is often described in relation to people moving from their own country to another and suffering disorientation. It can also apply to people adapting to a new work environment i.e. a new job, new position, new work methods etc. 10
There are thought to be five stages in culture shock as people go through a period of adjustment to the new culture in which they find themselves. These are described in the table below:
Perception
Differences are intriguing Perceptions are screened and selected
Emotional range
Excitement Stimulation Euphoria Playfulness Discovery
Behaviour
Curiosity Interest Assured Impressionistic
Description
The individual is insulated by his or her own culture. Difference as well as similarities provide rationalism for continuing confirmation of status, role and identity Cultural differences begin to intrude. Growing awareness of being different leads to loss of self-esteem. Individual experiences loss of cultural support ties and misreads new cultural cues Rejection of second culture causes preoccupation with likes and dislikes, differences are projected. Negative behaviour, however, is a form of self-assertion and growing selfesteem The individual is socially and linguistically capable of negotiating most new and different situations: he or she is assured of ability to survive new experiences Social, psychological, and cultural differences are accepted and enjoyed. The individual is capable of exercising choice and responsibility and able to create meaning for situations
Contact
Disintegration
Differences are impactful Contrasted cultural reality cannot be screened out
Confusion Disorientation Loss Apathy Isolation Loneliness Inadequacy
Depression Withdrawal
Reintegration
Differences are rejected
Anger Rage Nervousness Anxiety Frustration
Rebellion Suspicion Rejection Hostility Exclusive Opinionated
Autonomy
Differences and similarities are legitimised
Self-assured Relaxed Warm Empathic
Assured Controlled Independent old hand Confident
Independence
Differences and similarities are valued and significant
Trust Humour Love Full range of previous emotions
Expressive Creative Actualising
Adapted from Adler (1975)
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Six Thinking Hats

It can often happen in meetings and other interactions that people have very different perspectives. This is not to say that one person is right and the other person is wrong, instead their views may just represent different but equally valid perspectives. The problem is that these perspectives tend to pull meetings in one direction and then another often creating confusion and disagreement. Edward de Bono, the champion of lateral thinking, said that we try to do too much at the same time by considering emotions, information, creativity, logic etc. It was, he said, like trying to juggle too many balls at the same time. To avoid this de Bono suggested another way of looking at problems and challenges which reduced the possibility of disagreements. He suggested six thinking hats which would allow people to move from their usual mode of thinking to consider the matter in different ways. Each of the hats was given a different colour which related to its purpose:
Blue Hat
Organisation of thinking Creativity
How are we approaching this?
Green Hat
What ways problem?
can
we
solve
this
Red Hat
Emotions
How do you feel about this project?
Yellow Hat
Good Points
What is good about the proposal?
Black Hat
Bad Points
Caution / Assessment - What are the limitations? What information do we have / need?
White Hat
Information
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Emotional Intelligence for Success at Work and In Life

There is little doubt that intelligence or IQ is important in helping us to be successful in life but it is not the only thing which helps us achieve. Emotional intelligence is considered by a number of writers as more important than intellectual intelligence, Goleman (1996) said that, IQ offers little to explain the different destinies of people with roughly equal promises, schooling and opportunity. Gardner and Hatch (1989) noted that, Many people with IQs of 160 work for people with IQs of 100, if the former have poor interpersonal intelligence and the latter have a high one. And in the day to day world no intelligence is more important than the interpersonal. If you dont have it, youll make poor choices about who to marry, what job to take, and so on. Andrew Carnegie, a Scotsman, emigrated to the United States and built up a very successful steel company - US Steel. He sold it in 1900 for $350m and maintained that he would leave this earth with the same wealth in which he had arrived. He was true to his word and put his money into the Carnegie Foundation which endowed thousands of libraries around the world. It is clear that he had emotionally intelligence and on his gravestone were inscribed the words, Here lies a man who knew how to get people to work for him that were better than he was.
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Bibliography and Further Reading

Adler, P. S. (1975) The Transitional Experience: Alternative View of Culture Shock Journal of Humanistic Psycholog,y Vol. 15, No 4, pp. 13-23. Chapman, Margaret (2001) Emotional Intelligence Pocketbook, Alresford, Hants, Management Pocketbooks. Damascio, Antonio (1995) Descartes Error: Emotion, Reason and the Human Brain, New York, Quill. Danner, D., Snowden, D. and Friesen, W. (2001) Positive emotions in early life and longevity: Findings from the nun study, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol, 80, No. 5, pp. 804-813. De Bono, Edward (2004) Six Thinking Hats, Harmondsworth, Penguin. Frankl, Victor (2000) Mans Search for Meaning, Boston, MA, Beacon Press. Gardner, Howard & Hatch, Thomas (1989) Multiple intelligences go to school, Educational Researcher, Vol. 18, No. 8, pp 4-10. Gardner, Howard (1983) Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences, New York, Basic Books Inc. Goleman, Daniel (1996) Emotional Intelligence Why it can matter more than intelligence, London, Bloomsbury. Salovey, Peter and Mayer, John (1990) Emotional Intelligence, Imagination, Cognition and Personality, Vol. 9, pp.185-211. Zohar, Danah & Marshall, Ian (2001) Spiritual Intelligence: The Ultimate Intelligence, London, Bloomsbury
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2.
Understanding and Managing Stress
"A poor life this if, full of care, we have no time to stand and stare." William Henry Davies In this chapter you will learn about: The nature of stress and its effects. How to identify when you or others may be suffering from stress. Techniques to deal with stress.
Work for most call centre staff involves deadlines to meet, targets to reach and problems to solve on a daily basis. The reality of working in the 21st Century, however, means that these deadlines are often moved, targets become ever more challenging and despite the promise of empowering workplaces, many individuals feel a loss of control over their daily lives. Everyone in his or her job, at some time experiences pressure. Too much pressure over a sustained period can however result in stress. That is unless it is managed properly. Stress has been called the invisible disease and can affect you, your employer, your colleagues and those closest to you. It is important therefore that you understand what it is and how you can manage your working life in order to minimise its occurrence.
What is Stress?
Stress is effectively any interference that disturbs a persons healthy mental and physical wellbeing, occurring when the body is required to perform beyond its normal range of capabilities. It is caused when the body is placed under physical or psychological stress. This triggers the release of adrenaline directly into the bloodstream. The purpose of adrenaline is to prepare us for either fight or flight, i.e. to mobilise energy. The second stage in the process is the consumption of that energy, which neutralises the stress response, allowing our stress levels to return to normal. This was a very important bodily function for our ancestors, primitive man. Being able to fight or run away ensured his survival. The problem arises however when there is no physical outlet for your stress. In the workplace if you feel threatened or challenged, the same fight or flight response is triggered by the body. However, neither of these responses is appropriate in a work situation. So, you use neither response. This puts your system under even more pressure, resulting in stress. This is sometimes called the freeze response, where we do not know what to do or are overwhelmed by the circumstances. Understanding and Managing Stress 1
Fight
Flight
Freeze
Stressors are also described as either short-term (acute) or long-term (chronic):
Short-term 'acute' stress is the reaction to immediate threat, also known as the fight or flight response. When the threat subsides the body returns to normal. Potentially harmful stressors or warnings include noise, overcrowding, danger, bullying or harassment. Long-term 'chronic' stressors are those pressures which are ongoing and continuous. Examples include: ongoing pressurised work, ongoing relationship problems, isolation, and persistent financial worries.
The call centre working environment can generate both acute and chronic stressors, but is more likely to be a source of chronic stressors. Interestingly, a certain level of stress can be beneficial! Stress can be divided into positive stress and negative stress. Positive stress adds challenge and excitement to life, and we thrive on a certain amount of it. At times, some stress is motivating, like when it helps you win a competition or meet a deadline. While negative stress can result in you becoming less efficient, less productive, and both physically and mentally unwell. We mostly think of stress as a negative or uncomfortable feeling that we associate with sweaty palms, a racing heart, and feeling out of control. Too much emotional stress can cause physical illnesses such as high blood pressure, ulcers, or even heart disease; physical stress from work or exercise is less likely to cause such ailments.
Stress: An Individual Response

Different things can trigger stress in different people. For instance, you might enjoy having to give a presentation but it might be totally frightening for a friend. How you respond to stressful situations depends on several things, including your: General outlook on life Do you think the glass is half empty or half full? View of the stressful situation How bad is it? Can you get through it?
General health and well-being Are you well-rested or sleep-deprived? Do you have a healthy diet or live on junk food? Do you get enough exercise or is there never enough time to fit it in?
Because stress is best described as an individuals response to pressure, stress means different things to different people. It can also mean that you may perceive a situation as stressful today, but not so tomorrow. In fact, that what may be relaxing to one person may be stressful to another. For example, if you are a person who enjoys the buzz of the call centre environment, when there is down-time you may feel extremely frustrated, bored and non-productive. You may be emotionally distressed from what you feel as "doing nothing." The key to understanding stress is to realise that the fight or flight response is only activated when you perceive something as a threat or challenge.
Sources of Stress at Work

Stress is caused by various factors - not all of which are work-related. Causes of stress which are known as stressors, fall into in two categories: internal and external stressors: Internal stressors - psychological problems such as worrying about something, or physical ailments External stressors - physical conditions such as heat or cold, stressful psychological environments such as working conditions and abusive relationships, e.g., bullying and harassment
Work can be a source of both external and internal stressors. There are many sources of stress in the workplace. They can be categorised as follows: 1. Organisational climate/culture: lack of information, attending meetings which achieve little, being in a minority, constant changing of structures, policies and/or procedures, office politics 2. People: relationships with colleagues, peers, managers, customers, suppliers 3. The job: being in the wrong job, repetitive work, deadlines which are too tight, targets which are too demanding, too much or too little responsibility, ambiguity in reporting structures, insecurity in terms of contract 4. Work-life balance: time spent travelling to work, juggling family commitments and work demands, guilt associated with spending long hours at work 5. Training and career development: few opportunities for career development, and inadequate training to enhance employability Understanding and Managing Stress 3
The most commonly reported causes of stress at work include:

A feeling that one's reward is not matched by levels of responsibility and effort. Inadequate time to complete the job properly. No clear job description or chain of command. No recognition or reward for doing well. No way to voice complaints. Too much responsibility with too little authority. Un-co-operative fellow workers. Lack of effective communication and conflict resolution. Lack of job security. Long working hours. Excessive time away from home and family. Office politics and conflict among staff. Prejudice in the workplace. Unpleasant or hazardous working conditions. No opportunity to use personal talent and ability effectively. Bullying or harassment. Feeling powerless. Continuous unreasonable performance demands.
Consequences of Workplace Stress

Stress may be related to personal attributes and individual circumstances outside the workplace, such as family and relationship problems. However, it is now widely acknowledged that stress in the workplace reduces productivity, increases management pressures and actually makes people sick. Workplace stress affects the performance of the brain, including the functions of memory, concentration, and learning. In the UK over 13 million working days are lost every year because of stress. Stress is believed to trigger 70% of visits to doctors, and 85% of serious illnesses (UK HSE stress statistics). In Ireland, the majority of workers in every industrial sector claim to be stressed. 90% of voluntary sector workers consider
their job to be stressful. Teachers (88%) and workers in the health service (82%) also report high levels of stress. Construction workers have the lowest levels of stress at 63% (ICTU 2001). So basically, no matter what job you do, the likelihood is that it stresses you. Stress which is not managed can effect the organisation. The organisational effects of stress can include the following:

High absenteeism and staff turnover levels. Workplace accidents. Interdepartmental conflict. Deterioration in industrial relations. Reduction in long-term productivity. General dissatisfaction, low morale and poor work performance. Reduces commitment and motivation.
More subtle and even more damaging effects of long term organisational stress include pervasive negativity, lack of organisational commitment, sabotage and ultimately organisational breakdown. So, it is in everyones interest that stress is given the recognition that it deserves and policies are developed to tackle it. Stress at work also provides a serious risk of litigation for all employers and organisations, carrying significant liabilities for damages, bad publicity and loss of reputation. Dealing with stress-related claims also consumes vast amounts of management time. So, there are clearly strong economic and financial reasons for organisations to manage and reduce stress at work, aside from the obvious ethical considerations. Quick Stress Quiz If you take into account that we all need some level of stress in our lives, where would you ideally like to be on this scale, where 1 is totally relaxed and 10 is ready to crack up? 1====2====3====4====5====6====7====8====9====10 Now, identify where you are now on the same scale. 1====2====3====4====5====6====7====8====9====10 Take a few minutes to reflect on what is causing you to be at this point on the scale.
Stress Effects on Health and Performance

Stress is proven beyond doubt to make people ill, and evidence is increasing as to number of ailments and diseases caused by stress. Stress is now known to contribute to heart disease; it causes hypertension and high blood pressure, and impairs the immune system. Stress is also linked to strokes, IBS (irritable bowel syndrome), ulcers, diabetes, muscle and joint pain, miscarriage during pregnancy, allergies, alopecia and even premature tooth loss. Various US studies have demonstrated that removing stress improves specific aspects of health: stress management was shown to be capable of reducing the risk of heart attack by up to 75% in people with heart disease; stress management techniques, along with methods for coping with anger, contributed to a reduction of high blood pressure, and; for chronic tension headache sufferers it was found that stress management techniques increased the effectiveness of prescribed drugs, and after six months actually equalled the effectiveness of anti-depressants. The clear implication for these ailments is that stress makes them worse. Stress at work is costly both to industry and to an individual's psychological wellbeing.
Recognising Stress
Recognizing the early signs of distress and then doing something about them can make an important difference in the quality of your life.
Signs and Symptoms 1. Physical: Increased heart rate, perspiration and respiration. Chest palpitations, sweaty palms, dry mouth, muscle tension, restlessness and nausea. Long term effects include backache, stomach ulcers, migraine, high blood pressure, heart trouble, depression, weakened immune system and irritable bowel syndrome. 2. Emotional: Periods of anxiety, crying, feeling of hopelessness, panic attacks and irritability. 3. Behavioural: Changes in sleeping and eating patterns, increased smoking, alcohol consumption, nail biting, absenteeism form work. 4. Mental/cognitive: Indecision, not thinking clearly, confusion, lack of concentration, forgetting, interpretation leading to overreacting.
Stress Self-Test
Stress can be assessed scientifically by measuring the levels of two hormones produced by the adrenal glands (cortisol and DHEA (dehydroepiandrosterone)), but most of us do not have ready access to these methods! We must therefore rely on other signs. Some of these are not exclusively due to stress, nor are they certain proof of stress, but they are indicators to prompt investigation as to whether stress is present. There are many widely used stress tests which you can take and this is just one of them. It will not exactly measure your stress level, but it will give you the opportunity to appreciate how many symptoms there are of stress. Read the questions below and circle the number which best reflects how often you have had that symptom in the last three months, using the following scale: Scale: 1 =hardly ever, 2 = sometimes, 3 = often, 4 = very often
I feel nervous, anxious, ill at ease I feel keyed up, over excited I worry excessively I become confused or forgetful I have difficulty concentrating I feel generally irritable I become depressed I feel bored or apathetic I feel my heart pounding I breathe rapidly I develop headaches or eye tension I experience low back pain I am short tempered with others I become withdrawn 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4
I am achieving less than normal My stomach becomes upset I feel light headed or faint My mouth and throat become dry I develop nervous twitches I can't sit or stand still My muscles become tense and stiff I stutter or stammer when I speak I clench my jaw or grind my teeth My hands and fingers tremble My appetite changes markedly I sleep too long, stay in bed I suffer from insomnia I have minor accidents/make more mistakes I fail to meet deadlines I have conflicts with co-workers I take lots of sick leave I use alcohol excessively I am afraid of violent confrontation I experience exaggerated fears or phobias I have constant financial difficulties I have constant feelings of not being worthwhile I have too many pressures at one time I have difficulty carrying responsibility
1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2
3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3
4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4
I find it difficult to cope with frustrating situations I can't handle a demanding environment I have difficulty relaxing I find it hard to communicate I have unreal expectations of my relationships I feel obligated to others I experience lack of recognition and approval from others I am resistant to change My co-workers often seem hostile I feel unappreciated, unsupported I feel lonely, isolated
1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2
3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3
4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4
Scoring: There are no right or wrong scores for this quiz! Obviously, the lower your total score the better. This quiz is designed really to draw your attention to the myriad of stress symptoms you may have been disregarding. Any item you have marked as a three or four indicates a potential problem that warrants your attention.
Management Responsibilities
If you recognise signs of stress in a staff member, especially if you are that person's team leader or manager, do not ignore it. Do something about it. It is your duty to do so. It is often easy to spot the signs of stress in those you work with. Symptoms can include becoming over emotional, a poor memory and concentration levels, changes in their eating patterns, and a decline in their personal appearance. If you do not feel capable of dealing with the situation, do not ignore it; you must refer it to someone who can deal with it. Where appropriate this may involve removing the person from the situation that is causing the stress. You should also look for signs of non-work-related stressors or factors that increase susceptibility to stress, because these will make a person more vulnerable to work-related stressors. Counselling may be necessary to identify the cause/s, especially if the sufferer has a tendency to ignore or deny the problem.
Handling Stress
There are many methods advocated for dealing with stress. However, there is no single solution that applies to every person suffering from stress, and most solutions involve a combination of methods. The essentials involve recognising you are suffering from stress, understanding the cause/s and committing to remove the cause/s and relieve the symptoms. The essentials involve 1. Recognising that you are suffering from stress. If you ignore it, the problems will not go away. It will just get worse. Become aware of what it is that causes you stress and recognise the signs. Stress manifests itself in both physical and emotional signs. These include a feeling of constant tiredness, insomnia, loss of appetitive and digestive disorders and headaches. 2. The next stage involves understanding the cause of your stress. This can be a result of a combination of stressors and stress susceptibility factors. Study your work patterns and try and identify times during the day, week and year which you find trigger stressful feelings. Remember that it is often the effects of cumulative pressure that can increase your stress levels. It may be that something you can deal with during a quite period becomes something you feel you cannot cope with during a busy time, such as the end of the month. 3. The final stage requires you to commit/agree to remove the cause/s and to take positive action to relieve the symptoms of stress.
Some of the most commonly advocated strategies include:
Exercise: Exercise is widely acknowledged as beneficial in reducing anxiety levels. When you are nervous, angry, or upset, you can release the build up of pressure through exercise or physical activity. Exercise burns up adrenaline and produces helpful chemicals and positive feelings. Running, walking, working in your garden, yoga, soccer are just some of the activities you can try. They can help reduce the outward symptoms of stress and provide an emotional respite. Talk about your stress: It helps to talk to someone about your concerns and worries. Perhaps a friend, family member, colleague, or counsellor can help you see your problem in a different light. If you feel your problem is serious, you might seek professional help from a counsellor. Knowing when to ask for help may avoid more serious problems later.
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Identify ways to manage your time: One of the major symptoms of stress at work is the feeling that there are just not enough hours in the day for you to do everything that needs to get done. Trying to take care of everything at once can seem overwhelming and, as a result, you may not accomplish anything. Instead, make a list of what tasks you have to do and then do one at a time, checking them off as theyre completed. Give priority to the most important ones and do those first. Ask to attend a time management course if you feel this will help. Improving your diet: When we are stressed we often feel too busy to take lunch breaks and feel too tired in the evening to cook for ourselves. We often then resort to eating convenience foods and junk foods. Balanced healthy diet is essential. Assess the current diet and identify where improvements should be made and commit to those improvements. Learn to relax: The best strategy for avoiding stress is to learn how to relax. There are many relaxation exercises which can be done in the workplace. The most common of these is to learn breathing techniques. Relaxation can be learned by anyone and costs nothing. Yoga, meditation, and massage are commonly used as methods of relaxation. Breathing Techniques: Stress leads to hyperventilation or over breathing. Diaphragmatic breathing counteracts the stress response. Place one hand on the diaphragm (the stomach area between the rib cage). Push this part out when breathing in and let it rest when breathing out. When breathing out, hold the breath. This replaces oxygen levels in the bloodstream and increases carbon dioxide. Learn to say "no": If there are things at home or at work that you just can't or don't want to do, learn how to say no. And don't commit to new things just because you feel you have to. Dont take on more than you can handle. This is dealt with in more detail in the section on Assertiveness. The time and energy you spend managing your stress will pay off in the long run
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Allen, David (2002) Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-free Productivity, London, Piatkus Books. Carnegie, Dale (1990) How To Stop Worrying and Start Living, London, Vermilion. Norris Rick (2005) The Promised Land: A Guide to Positive Thinking for Sufferers of Stress, Anxiety and Depression, Bloomington, IN, Author House. Williams, Chris (2003) Overcoming Anxiety: A Five Areas Approach, London, Hodder Arnold.
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3. Self Management
The term "emotional intelligence" can be off-putting to some
who hear it as just management-speak or some touchy-feely, allyou-need-is-love approach to being a boss. But bear with me, suspend your cynicism, and try considering emotional intelligence as I have come to see it. Think of it as managing yourself so you can lead others. Jill Geisler In this chapter you will learn about: What self-management is. The background of self-management. Why self-management matters in the modern workplace. How self-management impacts on training participation and your career.
A Simple Test
Think about your training and career development. How would you rate the following statements?
Totally agree 1A I have to take initiative for my own training 1B I am responsible for my own training 2A I have to take initiative for my own career development 2B I am responsible for my own career development
..
Totally disagree
How did you answer? Do you agree with the statements completely? Partly? Or did you not agree at all? The statements all have to do with self-management.
Self Management
What is Self-Management?
What exactly is self-management? One possible definition is the following: Self-management is the degree to which individuals feel that they are responsible for their own training and career development. Self-management is about the attitude of employees towards their training and career development. It is a state of mind that determines to what extent employees are willing to take their own development into their own hands.
A Little Background
Self-management is a relatively modern concept. It is however, not completely new. In fact, it may be regarded as a combination of earlier self-concepts developed in the past. We list these below:
Self-esteem is the extent to which one has a positive image of oneself and a measure of the extent to which one approves of and accepts oneself and regards oneself as praiseworthy, either absolutely or in comparison with others. Self-esteem has been linked to career decisions and behavior. Employees that have a high level of self-esteem are likely to have a strong sense of self-efficacy, which implies that they have strong expectations that they can execute the behavior required for performance. Self-development is also a self-concept that is concerned with training and development. It is the process by which individuals: o Identify their personal development goals. o Consciously take responsibility for planning and taking appropriate action to reach these goals. o Develop and use methods of monitoring progress and assess outcomes. o Re-assess goals in the light of new experiences. Self-responsibility in a work situation implies that the locus of responsibility is squarely on the individual, who is employed based on current value to the organization.
Self Management
Self-knowledge is an individual characteristic relating to career management skills. It concerns knowing why one is pursuing a particular career, knowing with whom to initiate contact and relationships and knowing how to perform the tasks and roles needed for capturing opportunities. Self-governance skills are those skills that are required to manage oneself. These skills include the willingness to act ethically, the ability to forego short-run opportunities that may damage the long-run and the foresight to plan the next useful career step.
These self-notions have in common that they are all to some extent concerned with the individual self-management of training or career development activities. Self-development is concerned with development activities. Other self-concepts stress elements of self-management, e.g. the ability to combine work and nonwork activities. How does self-management relate to training and career development activities? In order to gain a deeper understanding of self-management, we need to look at career skills: skills and abilities which enable employees to successfully navigate their careers. The concept of self-management can be linked to four of these career skills, which are displayed below in Figure 1: Optimizing the current situation, Career planning, Engaging in personal development, and Balancing work and non-work activities. As can be seen, these career competencies partly overlap, which means that they are not separate skills, but rather reinforce each other. Optimizing the current situation is about creating the right set of circumstances to further a career in call centres in the absence of career ladders or opportunities for career advancement. It requires call centre staff to take a goal-directed approach to career planning, to anticipate future business and life changes and to promote ones own career interests.
Career planning is a cyclical iterative process of career review (i.e. what happened in the past) and decision-making. Career planning helps in: o reviewing whether skills are used and needs and interests are satisfied; o identifying development needs and assessment of requirements for successful performance; o learning from the experience of mentors, partners and colleagues; o anticipating future changes and preparing for future job opportunities that may arise.
Self Management
Figure 1: Four overlapping career management skills
Engaging in personal development can take many different forms. It may consist of participating in call centre training, taking external assignments in a client company or in an emerging market, or increasing opportunities for informal learning. There are a number of advantages of personal development. These include a greater sense of fulfilment, increased job satisfaction and a higher degree of marketability within the call centre. In addition, employees that actively engage in personal development become more employable and therefore more attractive for the external labour market. In order to pursue personal development effectively, employees need: o A sufficient level of self-awareness to review and identify their development needs. o To be effective learners with a positive attitude towards learning. Balancing work and non-work activities involves the successful combination of individual needs, family and career. As these three aspects of work life become more integrated, balancing work and nonwork activities has become a required characteristic for all those in the workplace. The dynamic interplay between work and non-work activities implies that finding a successful balance is essential.
Self-management focuses on two of the four career management competences: Career planning and personal development. The combination of these two items constitutes self-management. Self-management can therefore be seen as something that includes both developmental (training and learning) as well as other career management skills. In order to distinguish between the main two foci of self-management it is, however, useful to distinguish between two separate types of self-management:

Training-related self-management. Career-related self-management. 4
Self Management
We thus have two main types of self-management: training-related and careerrelated self-management. There is another distinction that is very useful when discussing self-management. Self-management can be about taking the initiative to take action, or it can involve feeling responsible for something. Therefore, for both career-related and training-related self-management we have to consider an initiative and a responsibility element. Self-management initiative may be defined as taking the lead in training or career development activities. Self-management responsibility is the perceived obligation to be liable for outcomes in terms of training participation or career development. Our discussion shows that self-management has four components. These components are shown in table 1. Table 1: Components of self-management SelfInitiative Management Responsibility
Training
Training-related selfmanagement initiative
Training-related selfmanagement responsibility
Career
Career-related selfmanagement initiative
Career-related selfmanagement responsibility
Why Self-Management Matters

Why is self-management important? The importance of self-management stems from the fact that the nature of workers relationships with employing organizations such as call centres is changing. Once, careers were thought to evolve within the context of a few organizations, progressing in relatively predictable ways. In these types of careers, success was typically defined by the organization and measured in terms of wage increases and career promotions. In the past few decades, however, the traditional career concept is making way for a different view on careers. The deal that employees face is changing as many jobs evolve from traditional employment relationships to a more contingent employment contract. In traditional employment relationships, employees exchange loyalty for job security. In modern employment relationships, employees exchange performance and flexibility for continuous learning opportunities and marketability. Three major changes mark the transition from Self Management 5
traditional to modern careers: A change from organizational loyalty to professional loyalty. A change from focus on extrinsic to intrinsic rewards. A change from firm-reliance to self-reliance. The second change reveals an essential difference between these two career concepts in terms of the measure of successfulness applied. In traditional careers, a measure of vertical success is applied. The extrinsic goals in these careers are climbing the corporate ladder and advancing in terms of salary. In contrast, the ultimate goal in a modern career is psychological success. Psychological success is the feeling of pride and personal accomplishment that comes from achieving ones most important goals in life, be they achievement, family happiness, inner peace, or something else. The changes in employment relationships are related to three main developments within and around call centres that shape the characteristics of the modern workplace.
Firstly, technologies are changing considerably. Although there have always been changes in the technology applied to convert productive inputs into production of goods and services, in recent decades we have witnessed a transformation in production technologies. This change is universal in the sense that a large share of the working population is affected. In fact, many workers need new or other skills than previously required in order for organizations to remain sufficiently productive. Of the changes taking place in call centres and their environment, the increasing use of information and communication technologies (ICT) has been one of the most profound changes. In the last few decades, the ICT-revolution has prompted changes in jobs themselves, but also in how specific tasks are performed. The emergence of ICT in production processes may also lead to the disappearance of certain types of jobs all together. Next to changes in production technologies, there are important developments in the organization of work. These changes are often related to changes in production technology, for instance when the introduction of a new computer system requires other ways of cocoordinating and organizing work, jobs or tasks. The classic intensely specialized mass production of the past, is making way for new modes of production that take the tailor-made product or service as the main focus and that require different organizational configurations. Organizational changes may manifest themselves in different forms. They may be abrupt, for instance in the case of reorganizations or mergers, or gradual, e.g. when there are changes in management systems or more dependence on team-based production. Both abrupt and gradual organizational changes have implications for job requirements and content in call centres.
Self Management
Finally, both in national and international markets, the degree of competition between call centres is intensifying due to globalization and the liberalization of world markets for goods and services. This leads to more pressure to keep up with competitors and requires a focus on efficiency in the production process. The competitive pressures imply that organizations increasingly focus on quality in products and services. Customers demand tailor-made products and services that correspond to their needs and desires. Concepts such as ISO certification and total quality management have therefore become quite common in many organizations.
The changes in production processes and the increasing international competition and globalization of markets requires greater productivity and flexibility by both call centres and their personnel, and new strategies that focus on speed, responsiveness to market conditions and innovation. The need for flexibility and productivity at the organizational level makes the traditional employment relationship, which provides security, stability and predictability, less relevant for an increasing share of the employed. From 1970 onwards, the corporate knot between organizations and employees, which implied a trade between employee loyalty and job security from the organization, is becoming incompatible with the needs for cost reduction, flexibility and performance improvement. What are the consequences of the new career concept for call centre staff? There are three important implications. First, employee development will be cyclical, involving periods in the career where employees are involved in retraining. Second, employees will change jobs, firms and sometimes even occupations during their entire career. Even work for a single call centre features job rotation, developmental assignments and transitions to different parts of the company. Finally, career development is in the hands of call centre staff, as the flexibility that call centres need no longer allows them to meaningfully plan their employees careers. Career planning therefore comes into the hands of call centre staff, and self-management is a powerful strategy to manage individual careers.
Self-Management and Training

Why is self-management important for training participation? As we saw before, the concept of self-management may be seen as the attitude workers have towards modern employment relationships. Various developments in the labour market, such as technological innovations, organizational developments, quality management and increased competition have transformed the traditional employment relationship, which in essence is a trade of job-security for loyalty, into a more modern arrangement in which possibilities for employability are traded for employee flexibility. In this setting, call centre staff manage their own career, instead of relying on career development that is managed by the
Self Management
employing organization. Workers are considered to be entrepreneurs of their own skill development. They take the initiative for their own training and bear the responsibility at all stages of the training process. Self-managed employees are pro-active in the training process all the way. At all stages, they take the initiative and feel responsible. Self-managed workers:

Take the initiative when training opportunities become available. Know their skills shortages and training needs. Take action to find the right training opportunities. Are motivated throughout the training. Are able to effectively combine training activities with work duties. Take pride in performing well during training activities. Apply what they learn in their work.
Being self-managed in training has a number of advantages. Self-managed employees take their development into their own hands and become relatively independent from any particular job or employer. Being independent makes it easier to keep their skills-up-date and enhances employability. This is important as not many employees will have a lifetime employment career in a single job at a single call centre. There will most likely be several instances where they will need to change jobs.
Self-Management and the Career

What about self-management and the career? As we have seen before, selfmanagement does not only relate to training (development), but also to careers. How do self-managed employees manage their careers? Analogously to training, self-managed employees are entrepreneurs of their own career. They develop and shape their career by:

Assessing present personal strengths and weaknesses. Evaluating past career successes and failures. Scanning the future environment and pinpointing threats and opportunities affecting career progress. Establishing a long-term career strategy. Developing short-term career objectives. Taking the necessary action to achieve career goals. Identifying what will create satisfaction and fulfilment.
Being career self-managed has a number of advantages. As self-managed employees take their career development into their own hands, they are no longer dependent on the policy of the call centre in which they are employed. While some firms still provide some opportunities for career development, others are unable to do so as a result of the intense developments they face. Selfmanaged employees are able to establish successful career paths despite the absence of support from the call centres in which they work.
Self Management
Are You Self-Managed?

Reconsider the four statements, and your answers, at the beginning of this chapter. If you did not agree (completely) with any of the statements, would you change your answers now that you know what self-management is and why it is important? Keep in mind that self-management will probably become even more important in the future. Even more importantly: next to being useful in your working life, taking matters into your own hands will ultimately bring you a feeling of fulfilment, control and joy.

Ball, B. (1997) Career management competencies: The individual perspective, Career Development International, Vol. 2, No. 2, pp. 74-79. Hall, D. T., & Moss, J. E. (1998) The new protean career contract: Helping organizations and employees adapt, Industrial Relations, Vol. 26, No. 3, pp. 2237. Mirvis, P. H., & Hall, D. T. (1994) Psychological success and the boundaryless career, Journal of Organizational Behavior, Vol. 15, pp. 365-380. Templar, Richard (2002) The Rules of Work: A definitive Guide to Personal Success, Englewood Cliffs, NJ, Prentice Hall. Van Loo, Jasper (2005) Training, Labor Market Outcomes and SelfManagement, Utrecht, Utrecht University.
Self Management
4. Developing Positive Self-Talk
If you think you can, or think you cant, youre probably right. Henry Ford In this chapter you will learn about: The nature of self-talk. The way negative self-talk prevents us achieving our full potential. The way positive self-talk can lift our feelings and improve our performance.
The Basics
Many, perhaps even most, of us relate how we feel to outside events or the positive and negative actions of people around us. In fact almost all of the emotions we experience are determined by how we talk to ourselves and how we interpret the events of which we are a part. One of the most powerful influences on our attitude and personality is what we say to ourselves in response to events or to what may be said. It is not what happens to you, but how you respond internally to what happens to you, that determines your actions and reactions and whether you feel happy or aggressive or disadvantaged. By deciding to keep your self-talk or inner dialogue positive you can begin to assert control over every part of your life. If you can learn to control your self-talk so that it focuses on solutions and positive outcomes then you will hold a critical skill for happiness, success and high achievement in life. We should first of all try to understand the difference between an experience and a thought. You may have a bad experience and register it in your memory, but how you respond to, or think about the experience is critical. If you fail to achieve your goal but think, I did everything right, next time I could get there, this thought is also recorded and will, note will not might, lessen the impact of your bad experience. Thinking negatively "I did everything right and I still didnt achieve will reinforce the negative experience and potentially reinforce the potential to fail.
Developing Positive Self-Talk
Your beliefs about yourself are known as your self-image. In each area of your life you have a view of how you perform or are perceived by others. It may be different in work or in sport or socially. You may have a very high opinion about your ability as a team player but as an individual performer, your image could be completely different. You may think you are better as a leader rather than a follower. Any action which suggests a different picture from your view has the potential to have a positive or negative impact on how you feel. The point is, however, that it is not the actions which you should beware but your reactions to them. Your beliefs can affect the way you react to situations. You will usually react positively or negatively to everything that happens in your life, and this reaction can be captured in what you say to yourself - your self-talk. Therefore if your self-image is fulfilled then the result was expected, the belief confirmed and this is reflected and confirmed in the self-talk. For example, if you work closely with the team to achieve a major success then that might be what was expected and your self-talk will simply confirm your self-image. If however you let the team down in some way then your self-talk, unless it is controlled, will be negative and will reinforce the potential for failure in a similar situation. The important thing to recognise is how your reaction to the situation affects your subsequent participation. Your reaction to the success or failure (i.e. your self-talk) is influenced by your existing self-image. This self-talk will gradually influence your self-image or self-belief. So, when you unexpectedly let the team down, it is contrary to your self-image but if your self-talk is positive it is unlikely it will damage your self-image to the point where you have a crisis of confidence. However, if you focus on the negatives it is possible, even probable that your performance will deteriorate. If you're like most people, you talk to yourself internally. You have a voice in your head which generally will comment on what is happening around you and may even tell you how to react. Occasionally, you may audibly say words that others can hear but for most of us, when we talk to ourselves, we just say it in our minds. The key thing to remember is that you are in control of your voice. You can decide if it is there to help or to hinder, to promote calmness or stress, to act for or against your interests. Apart from the occasional hurtful comment made by people you love, giving negative feedback to yourself -- negative "self-talk" -- is the worst kind of self inflicted damage. Sticks and stones from other people you can usually consciously or unconsciously discount since their point of view can be rationalised away. After all, others will have hidden and sometimes not so hidden agendas or opinions that differ from your own, or different ways of looking at things. It becomes easier to ignore a nasty comment when it comes from someone whose opinion you dont value. However, when you express little confidence in yourself, that's when words have a real potential to do damage.
Are You Being Fair?

You need to establish first of all if you are fair with your self-talk? For example do you focus only on the problem and not on the solution? How would it be if you accept that the vast majority of problems have a solution and you gave your attention to what that might be? Could your self-talk ask, How can I make this better or avoid a repeat? Is every bad thing that happens a catastrophe? Try to be realistic in your assessment and quantify events in a way that you find you can cope with. One of the common characteristics of all high achieving men and women is that they recognize the inevitability of temporary setbacks and disappointments. They accept them as a normal and natural part of their life. They do everything possible to avoid problems, but when they come up, successful people learn from them and rise above them. They continue to move forward towards their goals. Could your self-talk ask, On my personal scale just how bad is this and what can I do about it? Do you always expect the worst: "What if I say the wrong thing?" "What if I don't get this contract?" Expecting the worst does not help you to behave effectively. Expecting the worst promotes anxiety. If you have the opportunity to worry about a situation you have the opportunity to prepare for it. Could your self-talk ask questions that presuppose positive outcomes. "How can I make a favourable impression?" "How can I promote my product effectively?" Do you put others, and yourself, into preconceived categories? Do you avoid thinking of people as unique individuals? This could give you an undeserved sense of superiority or inferiority. Could your self-talk point out that we all have unique personalities each with their own qualities and shortcomings? Do you think in the past tense? Should you have taken some action or would you have but for what seemed a perfectly good reason at the time? And, worst of all, could you have done something but didnt to resolve your challenge? Could your self-talk ask, What can I do now or in the future to avoid this bad situation or repeat this good one? Do you think you are never right or always wrong or everyone is more skilled at some action than you? You will sometimes be wrong, you will most often be right and yes, sometimes there will be better performers, but not never and always and everyone. Could your self-talk ask if you are wrong this time how you might learn and improve by the experience? Do you think only about final goals and not steps along the way? Faced with a huge task do you target yourself to complete it in a single process? Do you set yourself up for failure? Do you have an all or nothing attitude to goal setting or could your self-talk ask, What interim steps would mean that I was progressing and what have I achieved to date that means Ill hit my target? Do you think negative thoughts about yourself? Sometimes it seems that people are ready enough to pass some negative comment on your performance or 3
some other aspect of your life so do you really need to contribute to that yourself? You may engage in stupid behaviour occasionally, but that doesn't make you a stupid person. It's easier to change a behaviour so could your selftalk ask why not change my negative statements about myself into a statement about my behaviours? For example Im inclined to give opinions without listening to others. Do you blame those around you instead of solving the problem? If we can blame others its easy to avoid responsibility. Could your self-talk ask, What can I do to help develop a solution to the problem? Do you really listen to alternative suggestions or do you spend the time preparing reasons why they wont work? Could your self-talk ask, If I genuinely consider alternatives, really listen to advice and give it a fair hearing before dismissing it so quickly, how much better would that be? So, as you have seen, self-talk can be positive or negative. You now understand that when the theme of your self-talk is mostly negative, your own misperceptions, lack of information and distorted ideas have overpowered your capacity for logic and reason. But if you weed out misconceptions and irrational thinking and challenge them with rational, positive thoughts, your self-talk will gradually become realistic and self-affirming. Perhaps the most powerful influence on your attitude and personality is what you say to yourself and believe. It is not what happens to you, but how you respond internally to what happens to you, that determines your thoughts and feelings and, ultimately, your actions. By controlling your inner dialogue, or self-talk, you can begin to assert control over every other dimension of your life.
Affirmations
Unless you are already comfortable that your self-talk is positive you will need to reprogramme your self-talk by repeating positive affirmations until you begin to get a good sense of what positive thinking really sounds like. For the purposes of this exercise a positive affirmation is a statement of something, probably about yourself, you would wish to see as a fact. Unfortunately for most of us who have not considered the opportunities of positive self-talk much self-talk is actually negative affirmations. Our most dominant thoughts shape our emotions, perceptions, and behaviours. Our most frequent thoughts represent goals which the subconscious mind strives to achieve. What we most often tell ourselves can become a self-fulfilling prophecy and if we accept that premise then it follows that we want our most frequent thoughts to be positive. Since the purpose of talking to yourself is to influence the way you feel, react and take action it follows that you should always make your positive statements using words that refer to you like, "I," "me," and "my." You can rarely control circumstances or how other people will act or react so make your affirmations about what you can control - yourself. Your affirmations should state your own
goals, values and commitments - not someone else's. It is generally more effective to state your affirmations in the present tense because future promises are there to be broken or disregarded. Clearly you may have problems in making statements about the present which do not reflect your self-image for example, I am happy that I completely support the team, if that is not what you believe. It is possible to make statements in the present tense which will drive you positively towards your goals. For example, you could say Every day I am making a real effort to support the team. The S.M.A.R.T rule applies when you begin to affirm positively. Your internal discussions should set goals which are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-based. Of these, perhaps achievable is most important since you will need to stick to these rules for a time before you are truly using positive self-talk to real advantage. Work your way up to bigger accomplishments and develop short-term goals which support your eventual objective. Be positive in your affirmation. If you want to avoid a particular behaviour then focus not on that behaviour but on the behaviour which will replace it and which will support your goal. For example, dont say, I will not eat too much at meals, but, I will eat just enough at meals. Make your affirmations short, easy to remember and if you can catchy. Short statements will stay longer with you and you must repeat them regularly so that your positive self-talk becomes routine. Write your affirmations down. Put them in your diary or have them somewhere that is easily accessible to you because you will need to refer to them often and implant them in your mind. Many experts say that you should repeat them all at least once a day and in a way that fits with your own style of learning. Finally select the words you use with care. They trigger thoughts, images and feelings, both positive and negative. Remember that occasional setbacks and difficulties are a normal and natural part of life. Decide how to rise above them and carry on. Talk about things the way you want them to be rather than the way they might be today.
Be Positive
As we have seen, your self-talk determines the majority of how you feel about life. How you internalise discussion about what is happening to and around you will decide your emotional state. Seeing things positively and looking for the good in people and situations, will make you a very positive and optimistic person. So far as you can you should focus on the positive aspects of your life and refuse to think about anything that might upset you unless you can find some positive statement on which to focus your self-talk. Your potential to succeed or to be happy will come from the way you deal with life. A positive mental attitude is a key ingredient for success and happiness. It is vital to building strong relationships with other people, and relationships are Developing Positive Self-Talk 5
the foundation on which happiness is based. Everyone wants to be around someone with a cheerful and sympathetic attitude towards life. No one wants to be around a person whose glass is always half empty. If you can support a positive mental attitude through talking to yourself in a positive and supportive way then achieving your objective, whether that is business success or happiness, will be so much easier. Positive people are resilient and bounce back fast when they meet the inevitable problems that life brings. When you develop the skill you will respond quickly and positively to any adverse event and interpret it as being external and having a solution. With the help of positive self-talk you will take full control of your inner dialogue and dismiss negative feelings by reviewing the event so that it appears positive. Your mind can hold only one thought at a time, so by choosing the positive thought to dwell upon, you keep your mind and your emotions positive. Since your thoughts and feelings determine your actions, if you keep your words and thoughts positive, you will automatically be a more positive person and move more rapidly toward your goals. Lets look at some ways you can turn negative self-talk into positive self talk and consider some examples. Negative Self-Talk I always get this wrong. Positive Self-Talk How can I make sure I get this right next time? What can I learn from what I did to make sure it doesnt happen again? If I persist Ill learn a new skill. Youve got the potential to do this job with a little more time.
Ive made a stupid mistake.
Ill never be able to do that. Youre not measuring up to this job.
I've never done it before.
It's an opportunity for me to learn something new.
Negative Self-Talk It's too complicated.
Positive Self-Talk How can I simplify this?
I don't have the resources.
Where can I get the resources?
There's not enough time.
How can I make the time for this?
There's no way it will work.
I can try to make it work.
I don't have the expertise.
I know people who can help me.
It's good enough.
How could I do this better?
It's too radical a change.
Ill give it my best shot
No one tells me anything
Who can I talk to?
Stress
It will be useful here to consider the impact of positive self-talk on stress. Every one of us has stress in life and a common mistake is to regard this as a bad thing. Some stress is good for us and it only becomes bad when it exceeds our ability to cope. Different people meet this point at different levels. Stress becomes bad and is a pressure or tension you might feel when the demands of life, business and everyday responsibilities are more than you can handle. Your muscles will tense, you may feel tired and irritable and the little things that you normally manage with ease will seem difficult or even impossible.
In moments of calm you should give some thought to how you might deal with excessive stress in your life. Allocating sufficient time for a task and making that allocation realistic is a good start. Management of stress does require a positive view and with self-talk delivered correctly you can turn pessimism into optimism. You should have or create a clear idea of what a successful outcome would look like for you. A clear vision of the end result will help you to avoid dwelling on the problem and allow you to focus on the solution, How will I get there? The subconscious mind is very creative and once you have identified your goal and programmed it in, your creative mind can go to work to guide you to make the vision a reality. At a recent UK conference, Steve McDermott, a successful business consultant, promoted this process through the five Is: o o o o o Information (gather it), Incubation (let your subconscious mind think about it), Illumination (see the answer), Integration (marry it to your circumstances), Illustration (show to yourself and others how the idea will work).
We have already discussed the need to make your self-talk personal to you. We said that you could influence only your own feelings and actions and that your self-talks should use I or me. In fact it is probable that as your self-image changes and improves others will notice and you will be able to influence them and perhaps improve their lives as well as your own.
A Process
Lets now look at a practical exercise for establishing you as a positive selftalker. Look on this as a possible process for moving you along the road to success. If you prefer other routes thats all right too, but accept that changing your attitudes will involve you in some hard work. Its easy to slip back to the old ways because the old ways are ingrained in your mind. Here is an opportunity for positive self-talk I can do this!! Think of a situation, preferably one that you are actually experiencing, that generates stressful feelings for you. Now write down your self-talk about the event. How is it going? What are you saying to yourself? What are your worries and your beliefs? What judgements are you making and what assumptions are they based on? How do you think the situation will turn out? What are your feelings? Try to define them in as few words as possible Are you angry, upset, annoyed, depressed?
Think about what you are saying to yourself and try to identify which parts of your self-talk are negative or unhelpful. Begin to review your feelings and self-talk against the questions listed below: Is there any rational support for this idea? What evidence do I have that this idea is true? False? What do I know about myself in other situations that tells me that my negative self-talk is wrong? Is there any evidence that my negative self-talk is true, or I cause myself undue suffering by convincing myself to be unhappy? Im going to be alright. Im not going to let this situation upset me. If I feel myself getting tense, Ill take a deep breath and focus on relaxing. I can keep my reactions within limits that are comfortable for me. I can decide how I feel about this. Ive done well in the past. Trying something new is challenging and stimulating.
Substitute positive self-talk for your negative thoughts
Substitute positive feelings for negative feelings by turning your negative self-talks to positive statements about behaviour. Write your positive affirmations about this situation down and review them at least daily. Reward yourself when you achieve success give yourself credit for doing a good job with more positive self-talk, such as, I did a good job! I knew I could do it!
Conclusion
Saying positive things about yourself is an effective way to enhance positive thinking. The way you communicate to yourself influences your thinking and your emotional approaches to people and things. Read about people who have overcome different struggles, fought fear, and succeeded in life. In this way, you will be able to gain knowledge and it will help you understand new ideas. You will also have a positive outlook on life.
Be motivated in accomplishing your goals no matter how hard they may seem to you. Deal with them in steps that are achievable. Always be aware of where you want to take your life. Confidence inspired by positive self-talk is a platform on which to build success. You may find yourself inspired in doing the things you have been previously challenged by while you are self-confident. Stay positive on how you view and see things. You must start changing those old internal discouraging pictures with positive images that you would like to experience. You must also start questioning yourself about your attitude and behaviour. Then, you can plan on how you can promote the positive and eliminate the negative from your life. You may have a moment when you see yourself in circumstances that will bring negativity and doubt about your capabilities. Remember you cannot control all things that will happen in your life. However, you can decide on how you will talk to yourself about them and choose to face challenges in a positive way. Positive self-talk is a powerful tool that can influence your attitude and behaviour. When you say positive things about yourself, you will be able to respond and react internally to what you would like to happen in your life. It determines your personal feelings, thoughts and your reactions. When you practice self-talk, you will start to assert control in every aspect that can affect or change the way you deal with life.

Gallwey, Timothy (1986) The Inner Game of Tennis, London, Pan Books. Gallwey, Timothy (2002) The Inner Game of Work: Overcoming Mental Obstacles for Maximum Performance, London, Texere Publishing. Hay, Louise (2004) I Can Do It: How to Use Affirmations to Change Your Life, Orlando, FL, Hay House. Helmstetter, Shad (1990) What to Say When you Talk to Yourself, New York, Pocket Books. Stone, Hal and Stone, Sandra (1993) Embracing Your Inner Critic: Turning SelfCriticism into a Creative Asset, San Francisco, Harper.
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5. Keeping Motivated
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. Winston Churchill In this chapter you will learn about: How motivation affects performance. How to enhance motivation. How to stay motivated. How to motivate others.
When was the last time you seriously thought about your motivation? Motivation is something many call centre staff and management do not typically think about in depth. This is remarkable, as motivation is very important for both daily performance in the workplace and learning. After reading this chapter, you should have more insight into your own motivation and you will know how to stay motivated in the long term.
Assessing your motivation

How motivated are you and what is your preferred motivation style? Read the following statements and complete them by circling one of the three responses. Choose the one that best characterizes you, answering as honestly as possible. Count the number of circled answers and write your total at the bottom of each column. These questions have no right or wrong answers. Your response offers insight about how motivated you are and on your preferred motivational style.
Keeping Motivated
1. I am proud when I ...
Get things done. What's next. Do whatever it takes to accomplish relaxation. Now or on a schedule. Search and retrieve.
Help other people. People. Hang out and. talk with friends.
Think things through. Ideas. Read, surf the internet to learn new things.
2. I mostly think about ... 3. To relax, I tend to ...
4. I like to do things ...
When it works for everyone. Write e-mails, instant message, or chat. Done in groups.
When it feels right to me. Look around and linger.
5. When online, I like to ...
6. Projects should be ...
Finished on time. Ask constant questions. Keep order.
Meaningful to me.
7. In school, I liked to ...
Make friends.
Explore.
8. I believe schedules ...
Help coordinate with people. Noticing others, being kind, fair, thoughtful, and considerate.
Are a useful tool.
9. I like to be recognized for
Being organized, neat, productive, efficient, and punctual. I finish what I start.
Being clever and smart, making discoveries, and solving problems.
10. When completing things ...
I like to enlist the help of others.
I believe that life is a journey, not a destination. Learning:____
Totals
Goal:____
Social:____
Keeping Motivated
Your primary motivation style is the column with the highest total. The column with the second-highest total is your secondary motivation style. My primary motivation style: ------------------------------------------------------My secondary motivation style:---------------------------------------------------If you are a goal-oriented person, youll probably reach for your goals through a direct and obvious route. This might lead you to a book, your personal computer, or an expert. You are most likely to prefer meeting in-person when its the most effective method and you are not motivated by the learning experience itself. If you are relationship-oriented (social), you perform and learn mainly for social contact. When you meet with people, you also learn things at the same time. You do not prefer to work independently because that doesnt give you the interactivity with others which you enjoy. If you are learning-oriented, learning itself drives you. You automatically search for knowledge and you may become frustrated by problems that require you to spend time on procedures and processes rather than on actual learning.
What is Motivation?
How can motivation be defined? There are a number of definitions available but a quite general and common definition is the following: Motivation is what makes an individual do what he or she does, whether those influences are goals, incentives, or the nature of their character. There are two main types of motivation: intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation. When people are intrinsically motivated they engage in an activity because they are interested in and enjoy the activity. When extrinsically motivated, people engage in activities for instrumental or other reasons, such as receiving a reward. Next to the distinction between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, other classifications of motivation have been proposed. There are several distinct types of motivation, which are listed and discussed below: Achievement Motivation is the drive to pursue and attain goals. An individual with achievement motivation wishes to achieve objectives and advance up the ladder of success. Here, accomplishment is important for its own sake and not for the rewards that accompany it. It is similar to the Kaizen (continuous improvement) approach of Japanese management. Affiliation Motivation is a drive to relate to people on a social basis. Persons with affiliation motivation perform work better when they are complimented for their favourable attitudes and co-operation. Competence Motivation is the drive to be good at something, allowing 3
Keeping Motivated
the individual to perform high quality work. Competence motivated people seek job mastery, take pride in developing and using their problemsolving skills and strive to be creative when confronted with obstacles. They learn from their experience. Power Motivation is the drive to influence people and change situations. Power motivated people wish to create an impact on their organization and are willing to take risks to do so. Attitude Motivation is how people think and feel. It is their selfconfidence, their belief in themselves, their attitude to life. It is how they feel about the future and how they react to the past.
Think about your own motivation again. Are you mainly intrinsically or extrinsically motivated? Do your own motivation styles fit within any of the five listed motivation categories?
Motivation and Work Performance

Motivation is important for work performance, but how are motivation and work performance related? In order to see the relationship, we first have to take a look at job performance. A common definition is that job performance is the result of a pattern of actions carried out to satisfy an objective according to some standard. It is not the same as behaviour (which means observable action). Job performance consists of three interrelated elements: The individual performance. The activity. The context.
The individual performance is influenced by ability (the individuals capacity to perform) and motivation. Motivation is not only relevant in work performance. It also plays a crucial role in determining the effectiveness of training and development activities. If employees do not believe that their performance will lead to achieving the rewards or outcomes they desire, training will not induce them to behave in desired ways, because incentives are lacking. Well-motivated staff are an enormous asset to call centres. Motivated employees achieve better performance as they: Strive to achieve long and short term goals. Use their skills and knowledge in the best ways possible. Feel a greater sense of responsibility for their own actions. Align corporate objectives with their own goals. Work towards furthering their own careers.
Keeping Motivated
But motivation does not only translate into better work performance. It also leads to improved training and learning outcomes. Well-motivated call centre staff: Are more likely to participate in training and learning. Are better prepared to learn. Transfer more of what is learned to their daily job situations. Provide more in terms of return on training investment to the call centre.
Enhancing Motivation
When call centre staff lack motivation, they often know what to do and how to do it, but are simply unwilling to do it. They just refuse to perform. Often this suggests some personal or organizational problem. In order to solve these types of problems, some call centres try to improve motivation through employee discipline. Another way to improve motivation is motivational training and development. This type of training focuses on content that is attitudinal in nature in the form of values or beliefs. It is generally pursued through intense structured experiences such as emotional presentations and often features trainers that place employees into unfamiliar settings such as wilderness or survival situations that are actually quite safe. It is vital that any motivational problems are analysed thoroughly before any action is undertaken. Why are employees not motivated to perform as required? Some explanations could be: There is little recognition of performance as a requirement (work environment factor). There is a poor match between what the people can do and what they have been hired to do (capability need).
What then should call centres do to enhance motivation? Of course the required actions and initiatives are dependent on the specific situation and the types of employees involved, but there are number of general guidelines available. Enhancing motivation involves: Agreeing on demanding, but achievable goals. Clarifying expectations on how people should behave in carrying out their work. Providing feedback on performance. Providing appropriate financial rewards for achievement. Providing appropriate non-financial rewards such as recognition for achievement.
Keeping Motivated
Communicating the links between performance and rewards. Designing roles which give people a sense of accomplishments and the opportunity to use their skills and abilities and to exercise their decision making powers. Selecting and developing team leaders who will exercise leadership and have motivating skills. Giving people the experience and training that will develop the knowledge and skills needed to improve performance. Showing people what they have to do to develop their careers.
Enhancing motivation is, however, not only the responsibility of call centre managers. Of course it is important that call centre managers support motivation, but call centre employees are responsible for their own motivation as well! Besides the actions the call centre management can undertake to improve motivation, there are a number of things you can do for yourself: Recognize your sense of discovery. Take responsibility for your learning. Accept the risks inherent in learning with confidence, competence, and autonomy. Recognize that "failure" is success, learning what doesn't work is on the same path as learning what does work. Celebrate your achievement in meeting your goals.
Do you recognize yourself in these guidelines? If not, or only partly, what items could you improve on? Would you agree that enhancing your motivation is in your own interest?
How to Stay Motivated

Now that you know more about motivation and how and why you are motivated yourself, it is time to discuss what you can do to stay motivated in the long run. Working in the same environment for years, your motivation might eventually decline. You might also find yourself not being able to keep up with changes going on around you. You may eventually become frustrated with the HR policies of the organization you are employed at. Or your skills and knowledge might become insufficient to do your job properly. All these phenomena may cause you to feel less motivated. The bad news is that all these things can actually happen. The good news is that they do not have to cause you to feel less motivated. If you think about potential problems in the future and act on them now, you will be able to stay motivated in the long run. Here are a few guidelines:
Keeping Motivated
Get motivated every day: Motivation does not automatically last. You have to renew it each and every day. You simply have to realize that if you want to stay motivated over the long term, it is something you will have to apply to yourself each and every day. Have a vision for your life: Remember to have a vision. You have to have a vision that is suitable to motivate you. Set goals and sufficient rewards. And, probably more importantly: develop a plan, set out a strategy for getting there and keep to your plan. Fuel your passion: Motivation is largely emotional. It is not important to know how it works, but it is important to realize that it works. Emotion is a passion which needs to be fuelled. That means that you have to work on your passion. Work hard enough to get results: You can enhance motivation by getting results. Hard work implies results and the better results you get, the more your motivation will grow. Motivation and results interact! Put good thoughts into your mind: Read, listen to advice and learn more about your motivation and what drives you. For a large part, enhancing motivation is learning, so use the good materials available to you. Ride the momentum when it comes: Sometimes things go well and sometimes they dont. That is normal. Make sure you feel good about yourself when things go the way you want them to go.

Armstrong, Michael and Stephens, Tina (2005) A Handbook of Management and Leadership, a Guide to Managing for Results, London, Kogan Page. Chandler, Steve (2004) 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself: Change Your Life Forever, Franklin Lakes, NJ, Career Press. Conner, Marcia (2004) Learn More Now: 10 Simple Steps to Learning Better, Smarter, and Faster, New York, Wiley. Dunifon, Rachel and Duncan, Gregory J. (1998) Long-run effects of motivation on labor-market success, Social Psychology Quarterly, Vol. 61, issue 1, pp. 3348 Widener, C. (2006) The Top Six Ways to Stay Motivated, http://www.refresher.com/!chwmotivated.html, retrieved September 25th, 2006.
Keeping Motivated
6. Communication Strategies
Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. Unknown. In this chapter you will learn about: One-way and two-way communication. The importance of words, tones and gestures. Using positive phrases rather than negative ones. Listening effectively. Handling different types of customers.
Communication in general
The subject of communication is a fundamental one for call centres because that is exactly their purpose. Their key aim is to facilitate interaction between the customer and the organisation so that the outcome is satisfactory to both. Yet, one of the biggest problems which organisations face is ensuring that they communicate effectively both internally as well as externally. In this chapter we will concentrate mostly on the main areas of communication and how this relates to interactions with customers on the telephone. These skills can equally be used for internal organisational communication. The sociologist, Harold Lasswell developed a communication model in 1948 which is still applicable today. The model is a formula containing the following 5 Ws:
Who?
says What?
in What channel?
to Whom?
to What effect?
Communicator
Message
Channel
Receiver
Effect
Communication Strategies
Lasswell was primarily concerned with mass communication and propaganda. When studying communication we should consider the elements in the table above in terms of who says what in what channel to whom and to what effect. This model has been modified and a common model today is the one-way or the two-way communication model. Examples of one-way communication include sending a letter or email; an announcement at a railway station; a television broadcast; a notice put up in the office etc. However, although one-way communication is often quick and easy it has limitations because the receivers of the message are not able to check that they fully understand the message and they may have misinterpreted it. The clearest means of communication is to have two-way communication so that there is interaction between the communicator and the receiver. In this way, there can be clarification that both parties understand each other. To have twoway communication with letters, for instance, would take a very long time to resolve a problem which is one of the reasons why call centres have become so popular.
One-Way Communication
Communicator
Encoding
Medium and message
Decoding
Receiver
Two-Way Communication
Communicator
Encoding
Medium and message
Decoding
Receiver
Feedback
We can see that Lasswells communication model has been expanded to include encoding and decoding elements. Essentially, when we have a thought we must encode it into language (in this case English) so that it can be transferred, decoded and understood by other people (always assuming that they speak English). To communicate more effectively it is better to use a two-way communication model than a one-way commmunication model. To communicate two-ways the feedback is very important. Even if we have a communication gap we can reduce this gap by the feedback mechanism. You can see and hear if the receiver has understood your message. If not, you can repeat your message or you can formulate it in another way. Of course it is very important that you are not stressed. Instead you must concentrate on the situation and the person you are communicating with. If the communication process doesnt work it might be that the received message doesnt correspond to the message that the communicator has in mind. Here we can talk about a communication gap. There can be several reasons why this can happen e.g.: Communication overload Filtering Frame of reference In-group language Pressures of time Problems of meaning Selective listening Value judgments Status differences
Even quite similar people can misinterpret messages in different ways. The Chinese Whispers exercise in which a message is circulated around a ring of people is a classic example of how information can be distorted. One person in the ring starts the process by quietly whispering a message to the next person, and this person repeats the information to the next person and so on. Finally, the last person relays what they think is the message to the first person in the chain, and on most occasions this message is often quite different to the original information the first person sent.
Communication is more than words

On the whole, we tend to place more emphasis on what we see than on what we hear. Research carried out by Mehrabian suggested that the whole communicated message is made up of: 7 % words 38 % tones 55 % gestures
When we are communicating on the telephone we are losing more than half of the communication channel by not seeing body language. For this reason, it is extremely important to compensate for this by carefully choosing our words and tone of voice. It is perhaps even more important that we listen very carefully to what the other person is saying.
Your Words and Your Voice

When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion. Dale Carnegie We saw in the first chapter on emotional intelligence that there are many demands on call centre staff including: listening to the caller; navigating the system; developing empathy; keying information; knowing about the organisation and products / services etc. This is a big challenge and it is important that we communicate clearly. Here are some helpful principles: Use clear words. Spell difficult words. Repeat important things like names, phone numbers, action that the customer should take, etc. Summarize the most important aspects of the conversation! Therefore its important that you make notes. If a customer talks so fast that you dont have time to make notes ask him to speak more slowly so you can make notes. Making notes also signals to the customer that you are taking the call seriously. And if needed, let the customer summarise the conversation. Use positive language. Here are some examples how you can use positive language instead of negative language:
Negative Language I dont know. Sorry to keep you waiting.
Positive Language Ill find out for you. Thank you for holding.
The essence here is that negative language encourages a mental response from the caller, such as, So you should be!, while positive language encourages a mental response of, Thats all right. Some good principles working with the voice are; Speak clearly! Dont slump in the chair! This affects your voice in a negative manner. If you need to sound more assertive stand up! Emphasise important words!
How to Ask Questions

Closed and opening questions There are two main types of question: open questions and closed questions. Open questions are used to get more information, like; What kind of information did you get from us? How does the razor sound? When did you get the product? Why do you dislike the product? Where did you leave the power of attorney? Who have you spoken with at our centre?
These questions are a means of gathering broad information and finding the key facts. These 6 questioning words are neatly summarised in Rudyard Kiplings 1902 poem, The Elephant's Child in the Just So Stories for Children: I have six honest serving men. They taught me all I knew. Their names are what and why and when; And how and where and who.
A closed question narrows the range of responses by the caller and allows us to get the precise details. Closed questions require the person to reply with a Yes or a No e.g. Have you a connection with our web-site? Have you received the invoice dated 11th August? Did you get the April edition of the magazine?
Another tool which is used in the business field is Toyotas 5-whys approach. This involves continuously asking the question why in order to identify the root cause of a problem e.g. Problem: My car broke down. Why? The carburettor was dirty. Why? The filter hadnt been changed. Why? I didnt have the car serviced. Why? I thought it would be alright for a few more months. Why? It hasnt happened before but I realise now I need to get it serviced regularly. You should be aware that if you ask too many Why? questions you may begin to sound like an interrogator. You should be careful and intersperse why with what e.g. What was the reason for the car not being serviced? Questions to avoid There are some types of questions to avoid. Leading questions If you use leading questions you confirm your viewpoint. If a customer is not satisfied with a product, dont ask. Multiple questions If you ask two questions in the same sentence, it can be confusing. You will probably get an answer, but you dont really know which question the answer is connected to. For example, if you ask, Have you got the equipment and the invoice? and the answer is, Yes, you can not be sure if the customer means the equipment, the invoice or both. 6
Effective Listening
I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen. Ernest Hemmingway There are some basic principles that you should use when talking with a customer: Dont interrupt. This is not polite. Dont talk over the customer. Otherwise you create annoyance. Dont raise your voice when an angry customer calls. If you do it is likely that the customer will respond by raising their voice even higher and the conversation declines into a negative spiral. It is better that you respond in a calm way which often has a positive effect on the customer. Dont be rude. Show interest in the customer and his problems by asking questions. Do as many journalists do, use terms like yes, mmm to show that youre listening actively. Ask questions to check for understanding. It can never be wrong to ask too many questions. If you ask too few questions, it can happen that you misunderstand the customer and that the call can be too long or that the customer comes back later. A good outcome is to achieve a first call resolution. To show that you are on the same wavelength as the customer, use phrases like, I see, Of course. Summarise and repeat key points. Use your ears and mouth in the same proportions i.e. you should listen twice as much as you talk. When you think you have solved the customers problems ask them if they are satisfied and find out if theres anything else you can do.
The conversation can be more effective if you also apply following principles:
Treat your customers as youd like to be treated!
Using I Instead of You

When using the word You to a customer, your finger, metaphorically speaking, is pointing at the chest of the customer. Its better to use the word I. Here are some examples:
Incorrect Whats wrong? You sure have a problem. I am sorry you had to wait so long.
Correct How may I help you? Lets see if I can help to resolve this situation. Thank you for being so patient.
Avoid Using Imperative Phrases

An imperative phrase sounds rude and commanding. If you use an imperative phrase you appear domineering, inflexible and dictatorial. Instead of telling the customer what they should do for you to help them, tell the customer what you need so you can help them. Here are some examples of how you can transform imperative phrases.
Incorrect Listen its not broken. products work that way. All
Correct these It appears that the product is working fine. Lets explore where the difficulty lies. I may not be making myself clear. Allow me to explain again.
You dont understand. Listen this time.
Act Like an Actor Who Enters a Stage

The first seconds when you begin a call are extremely important. Whether you like it or not, the customer creates a mental picture of you based on your gender, your possible age, the words you use, your accent, dialect etc. Therefore, it is of course important that you make a good impression. When you are in good mood, it is not so difficult to present a good, or at least a positive impression. However, we would not be human if we didnt sometimes have a bad day e.g. we are tired; have quarrelled with someone etc. In these situations it is a challenge to perform in a positive manner. One way to handle this mood is 8
to act like an actor that enters a stage i.e. you mentally switch the role from being a private person to a professional agent. A method that some companies use to put their employees in a good mood and leave personal problems behind is to start the working day by listening to soft music for 5 or 10 minutes. It is very important that you make your voice pleasant regardless of how many customers you have talked with and how many times you have heard this type of call. Each customer expects and deserves to feel that he or she is the sole focus of your attention and that you express your willingness to help.
Smile as you speak. The customer cant see you, but he or she can hear it!
How to Handle Verbose Customers

It is not unusual to receive a call from a verbose customer who talks and talks and who never seems to be able to stop talking. There can of course be several reasons why a customer prolongs a phone call. The customer can feel lonely and therefore wants to speak with another person; the customer likes to hear their own voice etc. Trying to interrupt a verbose customer is not good practice. A better way in most cases is to say, I know youre busy, so Ill let you go. If this doesnt work you can try asking the customer, Have I answered all your questions today? This question will force the customer to think about the original purpose of the call. Another way is to give the customer a compliment like, When you get this material Im sure you will see how the equipment functions. However, if you need additional help after you have received this material, you are free to call again. If the call is going nowhere, offer to get back to the customer the following day. This gives the customer an opportunity to collect her thoughts so she can better explain her needs and concerns.
Be Calm!
Customers often have a relatively clear idea of what they want to say when they telephone a call centre, especially when they are upset. They may be upset because they has received a duplicate of an already paid invoice; the product hasnt been delivered in time, etc. When you show an understanding of the problem, the customer often becomes calm and sees you as a friend and not as an enemy. Sometimes, however, being calm does not prevent a customer still being upset. In these circumstances its very important that you still remain calm 9
and let the customer finish their description of events. Let the customer know that you are listening closely by saying, I understand or I see. You are not necessarily agreeing with their point of view but you are indicating close attention and concern. Although you may have heard this kind of problem numerous times, it may be a unique event for the customer.
Closure
As mentioned earlier, the first seconds of a call are extremely important. But the closing of the call is also very important. You should attempt to provide a satisfactory solution for the customer; transfer them to someone who can; or put in place steps which will keep the customer satisfied . Even if you have pressure on you to handle many calls, it is never wrong to ask the customer, Is there anything else I can help you with? This shows an interest in the customer and that encourages a long relationship with them. Even if this call costs more than a normal call there is a greater possibility of revenues in the future.
What Does the Customer Think?

Results from studies of customers that have been in contact with a call centre show that the most important attributes are: Empathy. The customer feels important. The agent takes the initiative to help the customer. The agent has good product /service knowledge and competence. There is one call resolution.
In other words the customer wants to meet an attentive and positive agent. An agent who: shows an interest in the customer; can understand the customers situation; takes the initiative to help the customer; is competent; and ultimately resolves their need will satisfy 99.99% of customers. The conclusion of this is that if you want to build a long term relationship with the customer you must be active and also try to be proactive in terms of seeing the long-term picture rather than just the current situation. We listened to what our customers wanted and acted on what they said. Good things happen when you pay attention. John F. Smith
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Mehrabian, A. (1972) Nonverbal Communication, Chicago, Aldine. Blundel, Richard (2004) Effective Organisational Communication: Perspectives, Principles and Practices, London, FT Prentice Hall. Cochrane, Pat (1995) The Customer Only Rings Once: Managing Telephone Contact With Your Customers, London, Financial Times Prentice Hall. Hook, Kevin (1998) The Human Face of Call Centre Management, CallCraft. Richards, Mary and Hailstone, Phil (1997) The Telephone Skills Pocketbook, Alresford, Hants, Management Skills Pocketbooks. Selby, John (2007) Empathy on Demand: Creating Genuine Connections with Collleagues, Clients and Customers, Charlottesville VA, Hampton Roads Publishing.
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7. Understanding How to be Assertive
Assertiveness is not what you do, its who you are. Cal Le Mon
In this chapter you will learn about: The differences between assertive, aggressive and passive behaviour. The extent to which you are assertive. How to use language and body language to communicate assertion. Developing skills to use in the workplace and during telephone conversations.
Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted to say something to your manager, but didn't, in order to avoid having a row? Do you put up with aggravation from customers when you know you dont need to? Do you keep quiet when you really want to complain? Do you say yes when you really want to say no. Or perhaps youve just had an outburst, when you either shouted angrily or cried! and regretted it afterwards. It is these situations where you need to behave in an assertive manner (Back and Back, 2005). Many people think that being assertive means being aggressive but this is not the case. Pure assertiveness, or dominance for the sake of being dominant, is not a natural behaviour for most people. The fact is that most people simply are not naturally assertive. The assertive behaviour of highly dominant people tends to be driven by their personality, and often some insecurity. It is not something that they have been trained to do. Being assertive means being to the point in your communication, being good-natured and honest. Assertiveness training can also reduce stress by teaching you to stand up for your legitimate rights, without bullying others or letting them bully you.
Understanding How to be Assertive
Try the following assertiveness quiz: Assertiveness Quiz
1. Do you buy things you do not want because you are afraid
to say no to the salesperson?
Yes
No
2. When you do not understand the meaning of a word, do

you ask about it?
Yes
No
3. Do you feel responsible when things go wrong, even if it is

not your fault?
Yes
No
4. Do you look directly at others when you talk to them?
Yes
No
5. Do people often ask you to speak more loudly in order to

be heard?
Yes
No
6. Do you feel intimidated by people in authority?
Yes
No
7. Do you generally have good posture?
Yes
No
Do you often feel so angry you could scream?
Yes
No
9. Do you know how to ask for help without feeling

dependent?
Yes
No
10. If someone cuts in front of you in a queue, do you usually

tell them off?
Yes
No
If you are responding assertively you would have answered as follows: 1. No, 2. Yes, 3. No 4. Yes, 5. No, 6. No 7. Yes, 8. No, 9. Yes, 10. No Understanding How to be Assertive 2
Explanation of Answers to the Assertiveness Quiz 1. The assertive person is not afraid to say no. She or he feels free to make
choices.
2. The assertive person takes responsibility for getting his or her needs met. Fear of
seeming ignorant does not prevent the assertive person from asking questions.
3. The assertive person takes responsibility for his or her own behavior but does not
take responsibility for the behavior of others or for situations which are beyond his or her control. To feel responsible for things beyond your control leads to unnecessary feelings of guilt.
4. Direct eye contact is assertive and suggests sincerity, self-confidence and the
expectation that others will listen.
5. An assertive person wants to be heard.
6. An assertive person does not allow status to intimidate him or her. 7. Good posture communicates a positive self-image. When posture is limited by a
disability, good eye contact and facial expression can be used to express a positive self-image.
8. The assertive person works to get his or her needs met and does not let
situations build to the point of crisis.
9. The assertive person is able to ask for help without feeling dependent because
he or she maintains a strong sense of self worth and self-respect.
10. Telling someone off is an angry, aggressive response The assertive person
would state that he or she is irritated by the unfairness and ask the person to move to the end of the queue.
Adapted from Head Injury Hotline 1998
What is Assertiveness?
Assertiveness is based on the premise that we are all created equal. We should therefore treat each other as such. Life however often brings us into conflict with each other. These minor differences which happen daily in the workplace must be worked out. Being assertive means standing up for your rights. It also means you do not violate the rights of others. 'Non-assertive' people do not generally want to transform into being excessively dominant people. However when most people talk about wanting to be more assertive, what they usually really mean is:

How can I become more able to resist the pressure of excessively dominant people, either in person or on the telephone? How can I stand up to a customer who acts in a bullying manner? How can I exert a little more control in situations that are important to me?
Doing this is not difficult and we will outline a number of simple techniques later in this section, which will result in you achieving this change. First we need to get a better understanding of three interpersonal styles which are often discussed when we talk about assertiveness. It is important that you are not confused about the three terms:

Aggressive Passive Assertive
You can of course be a mixture of these, but its easier to look at each in turn. A lot of the time we say yes, just to please someone or to avoid conflict, when what we really want to do is say no. Assertiveness is essentially the middle ground between passivity and aggressiveness.
Aggressive Behaviour
We normally use the word aggression to refer to behaviour that we view as: Ignoring the needs, wants feeling and opinions of others. Involving threatening, accusing, blaming, fighting behaviour. Standing up for their own rights, but in a way that violates the rights of others. The fact is that most excessively aggressive and dominant people are usually bullies. Bullies deep-down, are essentially very insecure people. They dominate because they are too insecure to allow other people to have responsibility and influence. They voice their thoughts and opinions in such a way that it seems that their needs are the only ones that are important. They may refuse to take responsibility for mistakes and blame others when things go wrong. Shouting and ridiculing are both examples of aggressive communication. Dominant bullying behaviour however is actually reinforced by the response given by 'nonassertive' people to bullying. The bully gets his or her own way. The bullying dominant behaviour is rewarded, and so it persists. An example of aggressive behaviour could be: No way! Im up to my eyes with all this work already. Its your mess, you sort it out.
Passive Behaviour
Passiveness is also referred to as non-assertive behaviour. Passive people often feel their needs are not being met and that people dont listen to them. They feel hard done by a lot of the time. Because they are unable to speak up for themselves, their resentment of what they perceive as unfair treatment builds up and has no outlet. These people want to avoid conflict at all costs and try to please others. But they often use indirect means to get what they want. For example, they may try to make others feel guilty and pity them for having so much work to do. An example of passive behaviour could be: Well, ahh, I really have quite a bit to do already, but I suppose if no one else can do it, I could work on to fit it in...uummmhh.I can get someone else to pick up the kids I suppose so I could do that.
Many people will read this and think to themselves, I didnt realise that thats the way I behave. I thought I was quite assertive, but Im actually not. Its important to note that behaving in a non-assertive or passive way affects not just you. When you behave in a passive manner, its likely that your first thoughts are - thankfully Ive avoided a conflict situation. You may feel sorry for yourself because youve taken on so much work. And you may even feel pride in being able to take on so much. Others in your department/company may say youre great for staying late.
These feelings actually act to reinforce your passive behaviour. However, over the longer term at work, your behaviour will result in a growing loss of selfesteem. This happens when you begin to realise that you are unable to say no. This may lead you to feelings of anger, frustration and self-pity. A build up of these feelings can lead to health problems, such as headaches, backaches etc It also affects the customers on the end of the phone, other people you work with and your organisation. Lack of assertiveness can affect your relationships and quality of life, as you will fail to communicate effectively and end up not getting what you want.
Assertive Behaviour
When you behave assertively you do not let other people control you, and you do not try to control them. You stand up for yourself and express your true feelings in a way which takes the feelings of others into account. Assertive behaviour is always respectful. Assertiveness is an attitude and a way of relating to the outside world, backed up by a set of skills for effective communication. To be truly assertive, you need to see yourself as being of worth and as having a right to enjoy life. At the same time, you value others equally, respecting their right to an opinion and to enjoy themselves.
Exercise 1 Stand in front of a mirror and try adopting different types of posture and body language as you imagine acting aggressively. Then imagine being on the receiving end of aggression. How do you look? That is how you look to other people when you behave in that way. We will look at the importance of body language later.
Behaving in an Assertive Manner

Most of the information you read about behaving assertively discusses rights, just as we have done. When we talk about these rights we are talking about something to which you are entitled. You have certain rights in every situation, be it in the workplace, at home or elsewhere. Some of these include: The right to your own values, beliefs, opinions, and emotions- and the right to respect yourself for them, no matter the opinion of others. The right not to have to justify or explain your actions or feelings to others. The right to tell others how you wish to be treated. The right to express yourself and to say, "No," "I don't know," "I don't understand," or even, "I don't care." You have the right to take the time you need to put together your ideas before expressing them. The right to ask for information or help - without having negative feelings about your needs. The right to change your mind, to make mistakes, and to sometimes act illogically - with full understanding and acceptance of the consequences.
When you don't believe you have these rights, you may react very passively. When you allow the needs, opinions, and judgments of others to become more important than your own, you are likely to feel hurt, anxious, and even angry. This kind of passive or non-assertive behavior is often indirect, emotionally dishonest, and self-denying. Being Assertive Means:
Knowing what you want to happen and making your requests very specific. Saying "yes" when you want to, and saying "no" when you mean "no". Being able to communicate calmly without attacking another person. Having confident, open body language. Acknowledging your own feelings. Being happy to defend your position, even if it provokes conflict. Being clear about what you feel, what you need and how it can be achieved. Understanding how to negotiate if two people want different outcomes. Being confident that you can handle conflict if it occurs. Giving and receiving positive and negative feedback. Having a positive, optimistic outlook.
Exercise 2 Stand in front of a mirror and try adopting different types of posture and body language as you imagine acting assertively. Then imagine being on the receiving end of assertiveness. How do you look? That is how you look to other people when you behave in that way. We will look at the importance of body language later.
Assertiveness Techniques
Two of the simplest techniques you can use to assist in ensuring you behave assertively are the use of body language and communication. Behaving assertively involves both what you say and how you say it (communication and body language). When you are dealing with clients on the phone, the way you say something is even more important as the person on the other end of the phone cannot see you. Body Language This includes not just gestures, eye contact, facial expressions, and posture but also, how you communicate nonverbally, with the tone of your voice. This influences the way you impact on those listening to you. So, you need to develop assertive body language. Assertive body language consists of using the right tone of voice, direct eye contact, and a relaxed, upright body posture. When you are behaving assertively, in a face-to-face situation: Look the person in the eye. Stand up straight with your body at an angle to the other person. Stay on an even level. If the other is standing, invite them to sit with you. If the other sits, you sit also. Don't stand too close. People dont like you invading their personal space. Comfortable personal space is about arm's length from the other person. Your face should reflect what you are saying. If you are angry, you should look serious. Adopt appropriate body language. Putting your hands on your hips, shaking your fingers at the other person, having contempt in your voice; these are all aggressive gestures. Also watch out for closed body positions, such as crossing your arms or leaning away from the other person.
To discuss a conflict situation at work, consider meeting in your office, or in a conference room. Not in their space. Meeting in your space gives you more power over the outcome. Meeting in the other persons space gives him/her the advantage and the power over what the outcome of the discussion may be. Exercise 3 With another person in the group, act out a scenario where you have to tell a client on the phone, that you cannot do what they want you to do. You play the role of the agent, and the other person role-plays the client. Then swap roles. How did you behave? Passively, aggressively or assertively? Did you behave different than the other role-player when you were acting as the agent? In what ways? Communication At certain times, most people find it difficult to communicate honestly, directly and openly with other people. In behaving assertively, speech is clear and audible, and polite but firm. This is particularly important when you are on the phone. In describing your feelings, use "I" messages; own your message: Use these "I" statements to express your feelings instead of evaluating or blaming others, e.g., "I feel hurt" as compared to "You hurt me" or "You are inconsiderate"; I don't agree with you" as compared to "You are wrong." Actually use the word "no" when declining: "no" has more power and is less ambiguous than, "Well, I just don't think so..." Avoid statements beginning with you: these instantly make people defensive. Be direct: Deliver your message to the person for whom it is intended. If you want to tell Joe something, tell Joe; dont tell everyone except Joe. Be as brief as possible: give a legitimate reason for your refusal, but avoid long elaborate explanations and justifications. These excuses can be used by the other person to argue you out of your "no." Ask for clarification: if you don't fully understand what is requested of you.
If you do not want to agree to the person's original request, but still want to help her/him out, offer a compromise: "I wont be able to complete that today, but I will work on it first thing in the morning." Avoid sarcasm and using absolutes: e.g., using words like, "You never...", "You always...", "You constantly...", etc. Ask for feedback: Ask "Am I being clear? How do you see this situation? What do you want to do?" Encourage others to be clear, direct, and specific in their feedback to you. Use the words: "I won't" or "I've decided not to", rather than "I can't" or "I shouldn't". This emphasizes that you have made a choice. The following statements are useful: "I want to..." "I don't want you to..." "Would you...?" "I liked it when you did that." "I have a different opinion. I think that..."
You can also use one of the following depending on the situation: An empathy statement: one recognizes the other persons needs. This begins the communication on a positive note. A proposed way to resolve the conflict. This can be an offer to discuss the situation further if needed. A direct statement of ones own needs in the situation. This should be brief and clear.
Exercise 4 You are feeling under pressure as you have made plans to celebrate your best friends 21st wedding anniversary this evening, however your boss has now also asked you work late to meet a deadline. Your usual tendency would be to try to do what your boss asks, but this time you really have to leave to go to the party. How do you behave?
10
Suggestion: I understand that the work needs to be done this evening. Unfortunately, Im not going to be able to stay late tonight because I have already organized to be somewhere else. You could also add the following if you wanted to compromise: If it can wait until tomorrow I can do it then.
Dealing with Criticism

Assertiveness is as we have said, the middle ground between passivity and aggressiveness. Often when people are criticised they tend to react either by saying nothing, in other words by being completely intimidated by the criticism and not standing up for themselves, or else people respond by overreacting and becoming angry, loud, insulting and obnoxious. We tend either to give in to the criticiser or fight the criticiser by criticising back. It is something which many agents experience when they are dealing with clients on the phone. One the techniques you can use is called fogging. Here you acknowledge something in the criticism that you agree with. Then you ignore the rest! That may be so. I still need to explain to you aboutWhat I would like is By using this technique, you are acknowledging the persons right to their position. But you are also showing you understand their objection, without giving in. Exercise 5 With another person in the group, act out a scenario where you want to ask your boss for a pay rise. You play the role of the person asking, and the other person role-plays your manager. Then swap roles. How did you behave? Passively, aggressively or assertively?
When responding assertively, remember to stick to the main points and avoid being sidetracked by other issues. While assertive behavior definitely increases the odds of better communication, it does not guarantee that the other person will respond as you hope they would. But you are in control of your reactions, and you can continue to interact with that person in an assertive way. Learning to behave assertively will bring you great benefits. You will have greater selfrespect and will in turn be respected by others. You will feel confident in your ability to handle conflict, to say no, to ask for what you want, and to say difficult things without hurting yourself or the other person. Remember, this is a skill that will improve with practice. 11

Back, Ken & Back, Kate (2005) Assertiveness at Work: A Practical Guide to Handling Awkward Situations, London, McGraw-Hill Educational. Bishop, Sue (2006) Develop Your Assertiveness, London, Kogan Page. Bower, A. and Bower, G. H. (2004) Asserting Yourself: A Practical Guide for Positive Change, Jackson, TN, De Capo Press. Ferguson, Jan (2003) Perfect Assertiveness, London, Random House Business Books.
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8. Transactional Analysis
The key to understanding others is first to understand yourself. Unknown In this chapter you will learn about:: The nature of transactional analysis. The perspectives of parent, adult and child. How to avoid the dangers of the drama triangle. How understanding transactional analysis can help your telephone communication skills and other interactions in the workplace.
What is Transactional Analysis?

Transactional analysis is a useful strategy which will help you in your understanding of how people interact in life, at work, and on the telephone. It will also help you to manage the conversation so that you can communicate more effectively and develop empathy with the caller. Transaction analysis was first developed by Dr Eric Berne during the 1950s. Berne investigated how people interact with each other and concluded that dysfunctional interactions were often a result of ego state problems. He developed the concept of three ego states: Parent, Adult and Child based on Freuds Super Ego, Ego, and Id. The three basic states of Parent, Adult and Child can be represented as below. P Parent Ego State Thoughts, feelings and behaviours are learned from parents and other responsible people and are then often repeated throughout life. A Adult Ego State Thoughts, feelings and behaviours are responses to what is happening in the present. C Child Ego State Thoughts, feelings and behaviours are learned in childhood are repeated later in life.
Transactional Analysis
Critical Parent
CP
NP
Nurturing Parent
Adult
Adapted Child
AC
FC
Free Child
Parent Ego State

As we grow up we absorb thoughts, feelings and behaviours from our parents and other people who had responsibility for us e.g. teachers etc. Subsequently, when we are in situations which we have experienced before we tend to imitate the behaviour that we saw when we were younger. The Parent role can be divided into two ego states: The Critical Parent and the Nurturing Parent. The Critical Parent is always judging, and can be quite critical and negative, for example, we may shout at someone because we learned that this may have appeared successful in getting someone to do something. The Nurturing Parent would tend to be supportive and caring. The characteristics of a parent ego state are: Giving advice. Judging and disciplining. Makes rules e.g. dos and donts; shoulds and shouldnts etc. Nurturing and protecting.
Adult Ego State

This ego state involves thoughts, feelings and behaviour which deal directly with things which are happening in the present time. The way in which we respond is not dependent on events which have had a negative response on us in the past. When a person is in the Adult Ego State they take an objective assessment of the real situation. The reason that the Adult Ego State is placed between the Parent and the Child is that it operates in the form of an Integrating Adult. It manages the internal voice coming from the Parent which might say, You are hopeless at that, dont do it again. Or from the Child which might say, Yes, I am hopeless, I will never learn to do it properly. An inner dialogue (self-talk is also discussed in Chapter 4) goes on in the heads of most people and because this it is so common we are almost unaware that it happens. For example, when we attend a meeting we might decide to keep quiet and not contribute because the inner dialogue in our head (the Child) is saying, If I dont say anything no one will challenge me or ridicule my comments. The benefit of the Adult acting as an integrating factor is that it can logically analyse the potential language from the Parent or the Child and decide if it is appropriate. If the dialogue is unnecessarily negative or authoritarian it may choose to adopt a more understanding form of language and tone. For example, the Adult inner dialogue might be, I know my subject area well, if there is an opportunity to say something I will. I am confident about my knowledge. There is no reason to be scared. Characteristics of an adult ego state are: Collects information from various sources. Chooses among the best alternatives. Identifies and plans next steps.
Child Ego State

The Child Ego State is based upon experiences from our childhood when we were much more impressionable. We take thoughts feelings and behaviours and replay them from when we were young. There are two main ego states, The Adapted Child and the Free Child. An example of the Adapted Child might be the feeling of anxiety we experience when a boss walks into the office. We might say to ourselves, I hope that he/she doesnt ask how the project is going because I am not confident about it. Alternatively, the Free Child can adopt a fun attitude and take things in a playful mood. For example, Lets give it a try, theres no real problem if it doesnt work.
Characteristics of a child ego state are: The child is curious, creative and intuitive. The child is the main source of energy and feelings. The child often indicates how we respond to people in positions of authority.
Examples of Ego States, Language and Behaviour

Ego state Critical Parent Words/phrases Because I told you Dont ask questions. Thats disappointing. Just do it now. You should Voice tones Angry Condescending Critical Dictatorial Judgemental Negative Behaviours / Gestures Banging on table Bullying Finger pointing Over-bearing Scowling
Nurturing Parent
Dont worry Excellent. I am really pleased That was well done. Ill manage it for you.
Encouraging Supportive Sympathetic Warm
Caring Compassionate Encouraging smile Supportive touch
Adult
What, where, why when, who, how. Lets consider the situation.
Balanced Clear Composed Enquiring Relaxed
Attentive Confident Good eye contact Relaxed
Adapted child
I cant Ill do my best. Please can I? Would you mind if?
Hesitating Mumbling With malice Mocking Sarcastic
Dejected posture Downcast eyes Wanting to please Submissive Defiant
Free child
I feel fantastic. Lets Lets do it now I want to
Fast speaking Often loud With energy
Laughter Rapid behaviour changes Spontaneous Shows true feelings
Life Scripts
Life scripts are essentially the way in which we perceive our life to be. This often addresses concepts such as, How do I manage my life; What type of person am I? and What matters in life? The difficulty with life scripts is that they are often stuck in a particular groove in which the person maintains that story no matter how problematic and painful it becomes. Examples are: I am not going to put this down until I have got it right. And, I am an honest person and I must tell them how I feel even if it hurts their feelings. We should learn to recognise the inner dialogues we have with ourselves and assess the extent to which they are influencing our lives. Are they holding us back or perhaps encouraging us to take too many risks?
Diagnosing Behaviour
If we listen closely to a person on the telephone it is possible to make a reasonably accurate evaluation of the mood or ego state they are in. For example, words, tones, breathing, speed etc give helpful indicators to how we might respond. People who are in Critical Parent mode tend to use phrases which contain value judgements. For example,
What kind of person sends an incorrect bill for the third time in a row?
The service from your organisation sucks! You would never get away with it in the real world.
Just pay attention to what I am saying?
Adult words tend to be clear, measured and understanding e.g. I am calling about an incorrect bill. Please would you put me through to someone who can deal with it. There appears to be a misunderstanding regarding an order I made.
I would like to review my account with your bank. Would you give me some advice about the available options?
The type of language which we might hear from a Free Child would be spontaneous and playful. Some sales training encourages people into the Free Child state because it is believed that it is easier to encourage them to make a buying decision. Examples of language which might be used by a Free Child are: Come on, how can I access the internet website when I am calling you to arrange connection! That was brilliant work. Lets finish work early and go home.
Have you tried that new game on the PlayStation?
Complementary Transactions
A complementary transaction is one in which the ego state which is addressed is matched to the one which replies. These can be parallel transactions such as: Parent 1: The people in that department always seem to be complaining. Parent 2: Yes, they regularly appear to have problems. Adult 1: Do you know where the XYZ project report is? Adult 2: I last saw it in the office. Child 1: Wow, thats a fantastic example of good selling. Child 2: Yeah! Everybody, lets give Samira a loud cheer. Child: Ive done the report which you asked me to do. Parent: Yes, and it looks excellent. 7
In essence complementary transactions are ones which are appropriate for the circumstances. Generally speaking, the safest option is to remain in the Adult ego state, however, you can often develop more empathy by joining a person in the Parent or Child states.
The people in that department always seem to be complaining.
Yes, they regularly appear to have problems.
Crossed Transactions
A crossed transaction is one in which the respondents ego state is not the one addressed or which does not address the initiating ego state e.g.: Adult (to Adult): Do you know where the XYZ project report is? Critical Parent (to Child): Cant you see Im busy, take a look for yourself. Parent (to Parent): They cant organise anything. Parent (to Child): Well, you should have given them more instructions.
Do you know where the XYZ project report is?
Cant you see Im busy, take a look for yourself.
Strokes
The concept of giving strokes is based upon research into the needs of children and young people. It has been found that babies need a lot of touching in order to develop and grow healthily. Babies who are deprived of human contact tend to experience more illness and when they grow up are often less able to interact properly with other people. Similar findings have been observed with young people who have grown up in institutions where there have not been the same levels of interaction as other children would receive from a mother or father. Furthermore, it has been found that when people stroke pets such as cats and dogs their heart rate goes down and so does their blood pressure. Have you noticed that some people make you feel a lot better after you have talked with them and others leave you feeling totally deflated? Of course, these responses can depend on the nature of the interaction but often it still depends on the person. There are some people who you positively look forward to meeting and there are others who you avoid at almost any cost. 9
But it is not just babies and young people who need interaction with others. We all do, and it is not uncommon in call centres for customer service representatives to recognise the same people, often old and frequently at nighttime, calling just to have a chat under the pretence of a simple transaction such as checking a bank balance. Think about some of the people whom you enjoy interacting with. They make you feel valued and interesting. On the other hand there are some people who make you feel depressed. What is it about the interaction which makes you feel this way? Sometimes it is the chemistry between you and that particular person; and it may be the case that they are very different and more positive with others. However, on the whole peoples personality does not tend to vary too greatly. A definition of a stroke is an act which recognises the presence of another person. The stroke can be recognition such as a smile or a frown; be verbal e.g. Good morning; or physical contact such as a handshake or a touch on the arm. One aspect of strokes is that negative strokes are considered better than no strokes at all. The ignoring of a person and not acknowledging their presence is considered, particularly in transactional analysis, as being worse than a negative stroke. This can sometimes be seen particularly with young people who may sometimes be naughty in order to gain attention. An example of negative attention seeking can be seen in the film Kramer versus Kramer, the son of the character played by Dustin Hoffman is largely ignored by his father who is occupied with work. After several attempts to get his dads attention he runs off to his room very upset. Naturally enough, his father then gives him the attention he so much needs.
Positive Strokes
People who make us feel positive are often giving positive strokes. They may say things such as: Thats really good work! You are working fantastically well in the team. Its really good to see you.
Negative Strokes
Negative strokes, as they suggest, tend to have an adverse reaction on the person they are communicated at. Examples include: I dont like you. Youve made a really mess of that work. That was poor communication with that caller.
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Exercise Make a list of verbal positive strokes which you might use in conversation with a caller. Phrases you might have written could include some of the following: Thank you for calling. May I call you Fred? Thats really interesting, how long have you. (On closing a call) I hope you have a lovely holiday, journey, anniversary etc. I hope you business does really well.
The OK Corral Another way of considering relationships between people is through the OK Corral developed by Harris (2005) and can be seen in the diagram below. Examples of conversations between the different types of life positions: Im OK Youre OK That was a good meeting we just had. Yes, we all found some very constructive solutions to the problem. Im OK Youre not OK I only accept good performances in my department, but youre not up to standard. Im not OK Youre OK I wish I could communicate as well as you do with the difficult callers. Im not OK Youre not OK I was hopeless in that presentation and you were no help either.
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Me OK Im OK Youre OK Not OK Im not OK Youre OK
You Not OK
OK
Im OK Youre not OK
Im not OK Youre not OK
The Drama Triangle

The Drama Triangle was developed by Stephen Karpman who was a teacher of transactional analysis. He said that the three points of the upside-down triangle represented the interaction between the persecutor, rescuer and victim. The victim is at the bottom of the triangle because they feel inferior or put upon. The persecutor and rescuer consider themselves more organised, smarter, better etc than the victim. Karpman explained that we learned these roles from our childhood and have a preferred starting position; but that we tend to rotate around these positions depending on the interaction.
The Drama Triangle

Persecutor Rescuer
Victim
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The victim at the bottom of the triangle develops a dependency on the rescuer or the persecutor. An example, might be a mother (persecutor) telling her son (victim), Clean up your room, it is filthy! The son might reply in victim mode, You are always picking on me, On returning home the father, might say to his wife, Why dont you give him a break? Thus the father becomes the rescuer and puts himself at odds with his wife. What is actually happening is that the victim and the persecutor or rescuer are part of the problem.
Here is an example from a call centre: Credit Agency Representative: Good morning, Easy Credit, David speaking, how can I help you? Caller (quietly in victim mode): I have just received your letter informing me that I have gone over my credit allowance and that I cant extend it any further until there are regular repayments. I have monthly demands due on my car and council tax in the next two days and really need some support. Please wont you help me? Credit Agency Representative: We appreciate your position, but are unable to extend it any further. Can we take a look at your financial position and then we might be able to do something about it? (The caller originally sees the Representative as a Persecutor but the Representative then moves into the rescuer mode) Caller (The caller seeing that playing the victim does not work particularly well then changes position to persecutor and shouts) You people are all the same, all you want to do is harass and trouble people! Credit Agency Representative (now playing the victim): After all the time we have given to you to begin repayments that is unfair.
The only way to break this dysfunctional cycle of claim and counter claim is to remove oneself from the triangle. Each person in the interaction must take personal responsibility for the situation. In this way, the victim should recognise what is causing them to play the victim. The rescuer must acknowledge the feeling of self-worth when they try to help resolve the situation. And, the persecutor needs to withdraw from the situation. Sometimes the victim sees this withdrawal and may say something like, You really dont want to help me, do you? This can then encourage the other person to return to the triangle. This should be resisted perhaps by responding, Unfortunately, as I have already explained, we are unable to offer further credit.
13
Conclusion
This chapter has described a number of strategies to interpret how a person is feeling or what position they are taking. Use and practice constructive words, phrases and expressions which help develop empathy and encourage positive communication. Below is a dialogue between a technical support person and an irate caller. You will see that the Technical Support person keeps their cool even when the caller is abusive. Of course, normally you should warn the caller that this language is unacceptable, is also being recorded, and you will terminate the call if it continues. However, the last laugh is with the support person. Tech Support (Adult to Adult): "Good morning, Technical Devices, Darren speaking. How can I help you? Customer (Critical Parent to Child): "Your memory sticks don't work! I've had two of these ******* memory sticks and neither of them work. You are useless and your company should be prosecuted for selling rubbish!" Tech Support (Adult to Adult): "Would you describe the problem to me?" Customer (Critical Parent to Child): "They won't let me save files to them! Why do you keep selling things that dont work, you should be ashamed!" Tech Support (Adult to Adult): "Is there any message on the screen?" Customer (Critical Parent to Child): "You're ****** right there is! It happens every time I try to save the file. It says, 'Write protect error. Cannot save to external memory source! What's the use of a memory stick if you can't write on the ******** thing!?" Tech Support (Adult to Adult): Would you move the switch on the memory stick from lock to unlock and try again? Customer (Adapted Child to Parent): It saves the material! I am so ****** stupid! Tech Support: Yes, Sir! We are always pleased to help. 14

Berne, Eric (2004) Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships, Harmondsworth, Penguin. Harris, Thomas (2005) Im OK, Youre OK, London, Arrow. Hay, Julie (1996) Transactional Analysis for Trainers, Hertford, Sherwood Publishing. Sills, Charlotte and Hargaden, Helena (2002) Ego States: Key Concepts in Transactional Analysis, London, Worth Publishing.
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9. Handling Difficult People
Eventually we will find (mostly in retrospect, of course) that we can be very grateful to those people who have made life most difficult for us. Ayya Khema In this chapter you will learn about: Four categories of difficult people. Choosing when to address difficult people. Techniques to handle difficult people.
Who Are They?

Its impossible to go through life without running in to the sort of person who can create relationship problems for you. Sometimes the problems will be simple short term relationship difficulties with shop assistants or salespeople, but sometimes they will be with colleagues or acquaintances when the problem becomes more significant. Regardless of how you would categorise a relationship it can cause short or long term anxiety and frustration, bring you to anger or retaliation and turn you too in to a person who is difficult to deal with! Broadly speaking, there are four categories of difficult people that you will have to deal with: People who demonstrate open aggressiveness. People who hide behind jokes and innuendo. People who constantly complain. People who are silent and wont cooperate.
Each requires a specialist technique beyond using some basic rules and an understanding of what you want to achieve. The people you meet who make it hard for you to relate will sometimes be driven by their own past experiences. They may in their own past have built up a number of frustrations which they carry with them and from which they will seek relief by venting their feelings on you. Others will have developed a tendency to be negative making life hard for their contacts without any conscious effort on their part to be difficult. Often these people will fail to realise 1
Handling Difficult People
how their actions impact adversely on their own lives. downward spiral of further frustration and negativity.
They can be in a
In both sets of circumstances, making the effort to understand the point of view of someone you would normally regard as difficult has great benefit since it is an opportunity to increase your own knowledge and capacity to work with people. In business particularly, where you may need to work effectively with individuals who have relationship problems, a sympathetic approach which seeks to understand why people are difficult will often have significant payback for your investment of time and energy.
The Key
The key to dealing with difficult people, more often than not, will be based on communication, understanding their motivation and asking why they act the way that they do. If you can become effective at achieving understanding then you will be presented with a range of options which will help and support your own objectives. You may be able to get them to review their attitude to life or at least to you and your project or you may be able to help them understand that they could be happier and better suited in some other role. In both cases the focus is on helping them to better understand themselves and through that process helping yourself.
Help Yourself First

Its too easy in life to blame others and place the responsibility for failure on them. Before you begin to think about other people and how to deal with the problems you perceive they present lets make sure you have thought about your own attitude. Do you recognise your own defensive mechanisms and do you generally react quickly when you feel you are under attack? Try to slow down your reaction and realise that probably you are not being attacked. We are all entitled to a point of view and sometimes it will be different to your own. Conversely when you see someone go into attack mode or excess defensiveness, recognize that it may be useless to argue with them. Listening properly is a key to understanding others. Are you aware of when you have stopped listening and are you are using the time to formulate a rebuttal of what is being said? If you think you may have misunderstood do you ask for a repeat or an alternative presentation of what was said? Even when you think you have understood do you repeat back your understanding to make sure? If you dont know do you say so? Sometimes you will need time to consider what has been said and you will be able to come back with a
considered response. An ill-considered or wrong answer may do serious damage to a relationship. Do you accept that sometimes other people have better solutions or will suggest a better process? How open are you to accepting that as a fact? Do you think positively about the situations in which you find yourself? Understanding your own strengths and development needs is a major step in self improvement. Do you understand yourself well enough to focus on the shortcomings of others?
Some Basics
If you are satisfied that your own house is in order, here are a few basic guidelines before you start on the processes of resolving difficulties for other people: Difficult people will often act the same way with everyone. Their reaction to you is rarely personal so dont take it as such. If you do its probable you will become emotionally involved and that leads to damaged judgements. You will often allow the other persons attitude to irritate or annoy you. If this becomes obvious to the other person through your tone of voice and your body language this only fuels a difficult situation. People may make disparaging and emotional remarks - don't rise to the bait! Do choose the hill you want to die on! Not every battle is worth the cost and even as your skills develop there will be some situations that are not worth the effort needed to remedy them. Some people are entrenched in their negative behaviours. Recognising when this is true will save you a lot of time and much heartache. Everyone has feelings. Feelings are susceptible to damage if not properly considered so watch out for people's egos. Their issue may seem trivial or inconsequential to you but for them it is major and needs attention, so allow them to complain or explain without interruption. Dont argue and do listen. Sometimes even if you have a satisfactory solution based on experience it is best to consider what has been said before jumping in with an instant answer. Use names in discussion. Make sure your own name is known. People generally like to be addressed by name. It says that you have recognised their individuality. However dont use it too much since that may be patronising. Its perfectly reasonable to tell someone how you are feeling but dont do so in an aggressive way or using words that allocate blame. Short and to the point is a good guide in this situation. Remember you will generally know the problem so try to allocate your thinking time to the solution.
Dont waste time in using a failed process more than once. If an email has not been answered try some other form of communication. Since communication is the key to success in dealing with difficult people then it is critical to find a process that works for particular individuals. Never forget that it takes two to argue. Always be aware that it could be you that needs to change to meet particular circumstances. Strangely enough, only a minor proportion of what we say is communicated through the words we use. Your body language and tone of voice carry much greater significance than most people would credit. In fact your body language can say the opposite of your words, particularly if you are angry or frustrated. Often, how you say something will carry greater meaning than what you say. In dealing with difficult people you may need to work on two fronts. Yes, the problem needs to be resolved, but initially you are dealing with feelings, which is significantly more challenging. Be genuinely empathetic. The key word is (genuinely) since insincerity can destroy any hope you may have of success. You do need to understand and sympathise with how the person feels but do not mistake that for the need to agree with their issue. You have options here which include putting a genuine wrong right or explaining a misunderstanding. Sometimes it's useful to include yourself in the picture build rapport - "I can understand how you feel, I don't like it either when that happens to me." This may open up the opportunity for the accusation that you should have done something about it, but most people dont act in this way. In resolving issues where you need to take some action, make a realistic assessment of what should be possible. If you achieve your deadline that is good, but if you can beat it then how much better is that?
Good Communication
We have already identified communication skills as being key to dealing with difficult people. For that reason it is essential for you to build up your skills and so prevent communication of a message you never intended. First must come some gap analysis so that you understand the differences between your own position and that of the other person. If you can properly understand their position, even if you disagree with it, you can then focus on resolution of the differences. Resolving differences is the step which follows accepting that those differences exist. That potential for confrontation is difficult for many people. Avoiding or refusing to acknowledge such differences can however create deeper and more damaging resentments. Often when such resentments are held internally they show in other aspects of behaviour which will damage your relationships. You will need to dig sometimes to establish the real reasons behind your differences. Dont be afraid to ask but do so avoiding words which imply blame 4
or resentment. Complaints or criticisms are often initially delivered in a general style and before they can be resolved require more specific discussion. Remember, behaviours are easier to change than attitudes. Find a way to communicate with the person. You will need a point of entry. There is always a way to get into the hearts of difficult people. You may not find the area of common interest immediately, but it's there. It just takes a bit of patience while you search for the point of entry. We have discussed words as carrying only a part of your message. There are some words however that should be avoided since they carry implications of direction or seem to refute any case that has been put forward e.g. words like you must... or but or you cant ... Incidentally, sorry is another word to beware. Use it carefully and certainly in a complete sentence. It has the potential to suggest patronisation.
Meetings: Environment and Content

Almost as important as the content of your communication is the environment in which it takes place and your careful consideration of the factors that might influence its progress. Where will your discussion take place? Does it need a private location and, even if not, are there other activities going on in the background to distract from what you want to achieve? Are there any issues about the setting which detract from the subject matter? What are the obvious differences between the participants in the discussion? Is it age or gender or some other obvious factor which contributes to basic differences in approach? Is there some change required to your own approach suggested by considering these issues? How do you feel about the discussions? Why are you doing this and what do you want to achieve? Is there any issue you are bringing to the table which if left unresolved internally will prevent you from progressing to a successful outcome? How will previous meetings with this individual and what you have said influence their attitude to your conversation? Do they have any reason, perceived or otherwise, to distrust you and how will that affect the outcome? Do you have a clear idea of the level of knowledge held by the individual you will meet? Do they need an in-depth review or an overview? Will your explanation overwhelm them? Will they think you are trying to be clever and impress them?
Will your language show respect for the individual? If you are using jargon is it understood, or worse are you over-simplifying the issue and thus seeming to talk down to them? Do you have a clear idea of what will be a successful outcome for you both? If information passing is involved, make sure that the recipient understands the information by asking confirmation questions. Keep your eye on the ball. Dont seek to make a friend or to discuss personal issues unless that is welcomed and supported. Try not to take your feelings and frustrations, particularly those not related to your conversation, out on the person. This will be misinterpreted and will have a further impact on your future relations. If you realise you may have done something like that acknowledge it and explain, and if necessary apologise.
Some Difficult Types and Possible Solutions

We discussed four basic types. There are a number of ways to divide the human race. Each of us has a view of the world around us and what may be difficult for you may not be so for someone close to you. We also suggested that for some types specific behaviours beyond basic communication were required. Some people are naturally aggressive. They do not usually intend to be like that unless, in some cases, they see that it gives them advantage at work or play. The clear process here is to stand up to them. That does not mean fight with them. Overly aggressive people expect others to either run away from them or to mirror their aggression. Your goal is simply to assertively express your own views by calmly stating your point of view. Do not be afraid since physical aggression in a work environment is rare. Elsewhere you may need to consider your position. Let them run out of some steam. Then put your own point of view. Difficult people are experts at making sneak attacks in subtle ways, such as humorous put-downs, sarcastic tones of voice, disapproving looks and innuendoes. You may feel that by colluding with them and accepting their behaviour as a joke or pretending not to notice the issue will resolve itself. This is not the case and you must respond. A simple question will often do it, such as asking for an explanation of their comment or a request to share the joke. This will usually result in denial and if maintained will end the behaviour in question. Complainers have little faith in themselves or their abilities. They will raise issues of trivia and explain why things are not possible. The expert advice here is not to argue with complainers but respond with a personal and positive view of the future. People who remain silent but clearly do not support you, ignore you, give you sullen looks, and/or respond to every question with either, I don't know or 6
silence are difficult because they're timid. They are fearful of making a fool of themselves. Silent people get away with not talking because most people are uncomfortable with silence and are too quick to fill in the gaps. Ask them open questions that can't be answered with just a yes or no, such as, Why is it uncomfortable for you to answer my questions? People who are experts in their field will often resent being questioned on their subject by a layman. This is a well-recognized trait, especially prevalent in technical people. Many other professions share the trait. We see it often in computer programmers, software developers, engineers, and doctors. This symptom is often a manifestation of arrogance. The person is so afraid of being seen as unworthy or incompetent, that they immediately throw up a defensive shield against any possible attack. This defence protects them for a while, but everyone else sees that it is false. It is proper in this circumstance to pursue a resolution to any issue you do not understand. This need not be a detailed technical explanation but a simple reassurance that a system or process will perform as you expect in given circumstances. Some people will try to dominate others. This is another well recognized trait that seems prevalent in people in management positions or positions of corporate power. No matter what anyone says or does, this person will force their ideas on everyone else. There can be no open discussion or involvement. Things must be done this persons way or else. The positive side of dominance is leadership. When this person is relaxed and working from the positive side of their personality, they can be quite effective and charming. As with arrogance, stress or insecurity may bring on the attack. It may seem to come without warning or you may be able to see the stress building up. As in most situations seeking to reaffirm your own beliefs or views is necessary. In this case you may need to find an alternative route for communication.
Time for Action

Select a difficult person in your life as a personal challenge. Study that person, looking for your "point of entry. Find some way to connect with the person in a positive way. You don't have to become the best of friends. You don't have to spend a lot of time together. Just find a way to work together that is positive and productive for both of you.

Cava, Roberta (2006) Dealing With Difficult People: How to Deal with Nasty Customers, Demanding Bosses and Annoying Co-Workers, Richmond Hill, Ontario, Firefly Books. Crowe, Sandra (1999) Since Strangling People Isnt an Option Dealing With Difficult People: Common Problems and Uncommon Solutions, Deep Books. Leibling, Mike (2005) How People Tick: A Guide to Difficult People and How to Handle Them, London, Kogan Page. Lilley, Roy (2006) Dealing With Difficult People, London, Kogan Page. Ury, William (1992) Getting Past No: Negotiating with Difficult People, London, Random House Business Books.
10. Selling Techniques
If you work just for money, you'll never make it. But if you love what you are doing, and always put the customer first, success will be yours. Ray Kroc In this chapter you will learn about: Understanding the selling process. Ensuring customer satisfaction through sales negotiations. Dealing with customer objections.
Selling During Inbound Calls

Firstly, we will look at selling for inbound calls for the following reasons: There is little material written about selling for in-bound rather than outbound calls. It is less expensive to sell to existing customers. It is an opportunity to strengthen links with existing customers.
Crucially, it is often said that it is between seven and ten times more expensive to attract a new customer than to nurture an existing customer, therefore, we should be very supportive of existing customers.
Selling Techniques
The Selling Process Versus The Buying Process

When selling to new potential customers there are several steps to be taken before a sale can be closed. A common structure is the Attention, Interest, Desire, Action - AIDA process, which shows the stages in a sale and which mirrors the buying process for the customer.
AIDA
Desire Interest Attention
Action
Progression towards a sale
In practice, the process is to encourage the potential customer to progress up the stairs using the steps described: 1. Attention - At the first step the customer is informed about the company and its products. This is known as the knowledge phase. 2. Interest - After gaining the customers attention, and if the customer wants to go further, the next step is to arouse the potential customers interest in the product. 3. Desire Once the customer shows an interest in the product, the seller must persuade the customer that it would benefit him/her to have that product, i.e., create a desire for the product. At this stage attitudes to the company and its products play an important role. 4. Action If the desire is strong it is a small step to end the process by closing a sale and getting the customer to buy the product or service. The duration of the selling process can vary and depends on: the customers situation; the risks involved in buying the product; the sales persons communication style, and so on. But in general it can be a relatively long time if the sales process starts with a potential customer that is not aware of the company, its products and doesnt have an immediate need to buy the product.
Selling Techniques
The Selling Process In The Light Of The Promotion Mix

If other marketing activities have already been promoted, and the potential customer already knows about the company and its products, i.e., the customers attention has already been drawn to the company and its products, the selling process can start higher up the AIDA steps. To achieve an effective selling result, it is important that this activity is coordinated with other activities. This involves synchronising the market pyramid with the promotion pyramid and it can be a long distance to encourage a cold customer to become warm/hot. Furthermore, it can be more effective to use the most cost effective promotional tool at the right level in the market pyramid and synchronise this with the different activities shown in the figure below.
Marketing Pyramid Promotional Tool Pyramid

Marketing Pyramid Hot Personal selling Warm Luke warm Cold Telemarketing Direct marketing Advertising Promotional Tool Pyramid Customer care
Let us look at an example. A company which cuts metal products by laser, has also chosen to launch another cutting technique using abrasive water cutting. Abrasive water cutting allows steel thicker than 60mm to be cut, which is not possible for a laser cutter. A successful promotional campaign was developed and included the following steps. 1. The company started with an advertising campaign in a magazine. The objective here was to inform the market that the company also offered abrasive water cutting. 2. The next step was a Direct Marketing campaign to old and new potential customers. This campaign contained a reply slip, which the receiver could send back to the company if they wanted further information. Returned reply slips thus indicated which customers showed an interest for the product.
Selling Techniques
3. This reply slip was followed up by telephone call and the objective was to book in personal visits. This activity can be seen as telemarketing. 4. The last step was to visit the customer, agree understandings and close the sale.
Customer Hunt or Customer Care

When selling it is of course important to find a balance between the company / agents selling goal and maintain or even strengthen the bond with the customer. If you push the goal of selling too hard, there is a big risk that the customer relationship is weakened or even lost. Therefore the AIDA-model has a further step, S for SATISFACTION, which means that instead of only achieving profitability by volume (ACTION) it is a matter of achieving profitability by satisfying the customer. This idea can be shown in the above diagram, where Satisfaction is synonymous with hot customers. Another way of describing this is that instead of a customer hunt, where you strive to get as many customers as possible, e.g. increasing your market share, it is a matter of caring for the customers you already have, e.g. increasing your customer care.
Customer Hunt or Customer Care

Number of needs
Market share Customer share
Number of customers
As the figure above shows, increasing the customer share involves developing customer care activities which strengthen the bond with the customer by satisfying all their conceivable needs and desires as far as possible.
Selling Techniques
The primary task for most call centre staff involved with inbound calls is to help the customer. The call may concern relatively uncomplicated subjects like answering a direct question, for example, what is the telephone number for Jonas Svenson; when does the shopping outlet open, etc. It can also include a report of a product which doesnt function; an invoice that appeared to be wrong; the internet doesnt work etc., that perhaps cannot be solved immediately. Selling may not always be suitable for these kinds of calls. It is of course extremely important in the first place to help the customer with his/her original enquiry and when it is possible, give the customer an idea of how he/she can avoid this kind of problem in the future. For example, if the customer wants to transfer money from one account to another, the agent can suggest the customer opens an Internet account which then allows funds transfer between accounts; to another person; within or between different banks; print out balance information etc whenever the customer wants. Essentially, the call centre agent makes a strong case for all the advantages and benefits of using this service.
Product Features Customer Benefits Meaning For The Customer

It is important that the agent has a good knowledge of the products and services that are offered to the customers. But it is also important that the agent has a list of the product features and that these features are translated into customer benefits which have meaning for the customer. Here is an example of a hair-drier with three product features translated into customer benefits and meaning for the customer. Product Hair-drier Product Features 1000 watt Adjustable front 15 cm long Customer Benefits Powerful Meaning for the Customer Dries the hair quickly.
You can adjust the air You can form the hairflow. style as you like. Small Easy to take with you on a journey.
The presentation goes from left to right and can sound like this. This Hair-drier operates at 1000 watt, which is very powerful, and means that your hair dries very quickly. The hair-drier has an adjustable front so that
Selling Techniques
you can vary the current of air making it easy to style your hair as you like. Since the hair-drier is small, only 15 cm long, it is easy to take the hair-drier with you when you travel.
Proactive Selling
Of course, the more the agent knows about the customer, the easier it becomes to suggest other solutions/services which can benefit for the customer and that also generate revenue for the organisation. For instance, if an agent transfers money from one account to another account, this helps the customer. Then the agent can suggest an Internet account which has many other benefits for the customer. During the call the agent can look at the customers different interactions with the bank. Perhaps the agent notices that the customer has a large amount of money in an account with a low interest rate. In this situation the agent can inform the customer that there are more attractive interest rates and ask the customer if he/she would be interested in knowing more about these other options. Perhaps the customer is not unfamiliar with these options; I have thought about this before, but never made the decision to change accounts. Here the agent has a golden opportunity to help the customer take this step/decision. It is very important not to push the customer too hard. If the agent notices that the customer is not ready to take this step now, the agent can ask the customer if he can call back in two weeks and if it is OK for the agent to send the customer information about different options to look at in the meantime. It is a question of helping the customer at the right time and ensuring that the customer feels comfortable and has not been bulldozed into a decision. Otherwise you could lose the customer.
Using Emotions for Sales Decision Making

It is often said that making decisions based on emotions is not advisable and that we should always consider things rationally. However, feelings are often indispensable for decision making because they can intuitively narrow down the often massive field of options available and so point us in the direction where logic and rational can be better used in making the final decision (Damascio, 1995). When making a difficult decision, we occasionally present this a contest between our head and our heart, a contest between our emotional and rational responses to the situation. However, it is thought that when we are making a complicated decision which involves lots of information our conscious brain (the cortex) may become overloaded and not able to compute all the data simultaneously. Some researchers suggest that the limbic system of the brain
Selling Techniques
(the emotional centre of the brain) enables people to holistically evaluate the information and make a decision in an intuitive way. Research at Harvard Business School found that, in sales situations, 84% of decisions were based on emotion. Logic was used to gather and present evidence and when a decision was made there was a strong emotional base. If you are involved with sales you may recognise the situation described below and how principled selling can help the customer. In a sales situation it can sometimes be difficult to persuade someone to make a purchasing decision. The reason for this is that people often dont like making decisions because they:

remove the choice of alternative action. often cost money.
However, people dont like decisions hanging over them because a decision well taken will resolve the problem. Thus, the sales person can see this as a positive opportunity to help resolve the dilemma which the customer faces. Thus, we can see that when a customer is faced with a bewildering array of choice, an emotional response can narrow down the field of options. Logic can then be applied to differentiate between the short-list of available choices. Then in the end emotions are often the driver in making the final choice. For example, in buying a car, a customer may decide on one particular model amongst all the available options because it is big enough to carry the whole family; has sufficient boot space to accommodate the shopping; and demonstrates reasonable fuel economy (rational reasoning); but also because they like the look of it and trust the manufacturer (emotional reasoning).
Pressure from Customers Friends

When customers have made a buying decision, they must feel comfortable with the decision they have made and must not feel that they have made the wrong decision. If they feel that they have made a hasty decision, there is the risk that they will blame the agent. This can have a negative effect on customer relations. The customers must be able to justify their decision, both to themselves and to family and friends. Even if the customers feel the decision is OK, they will probably defend the decision in front of friends. Here the argument they heard from the agent plays an important role in providing them with supporting arguments to justify a buying decision. Therefore, the sales arguments have an important role, both between the agent and the customer, and between the customer and their friends.
Selling Techniques
Customer Complaints An Opportunity to Build Long Term Customer Relations!

Customers contact call centres for different reasons. Some of these contacts can be seen as customer complaints. One customer perhaps is not satisfied with a product, for instance a digital camera, because it does not work properly. Another customer perhaps thinks the bill for their mobile phone is too high. A third customer wants to cancel a subscription for a magazine. The main task is of course helping the customer. In the first place figure out why the product doesnt work. In the second case identify why the customer thinks the bill is too high. In the third case cancel the subscription. Below we have highlighted some suggestions on how to handle these situations. Situation 1: The faulty digital camera Sometimes the customer has not understood how to use the product. He needs more information or perhaps even some training on how to use the product. The first step is to help the customer on the telephone with some of the basic functions of the camera. You may also send some free written information to the customer, if it is available. You may also offer him/her some low-cost training materials, if you have them, where he also can see how to work with this product more effectively and use different functions that bring more value to the customer. Situation 2: The excessive mobile phone bill In this situation the customer thinks that the bill is not correct. If we can see that the bill is OK, we must try to understand how the customer uses the mobile phone. Then you can offer the customer a new agreement that lowers the customers costs. By using this step the company gets lower revenues in the short term, but in the longer term its quite possible that you have a customer for life. If you simply tell the customer that the bill is correct, it is likely that he/she will switch operator. Therefore, it is very important to consider long-term sales implications. Situation 3: Cancelling a magazine subscription For some reason the customer is not satisfied with the magazine. Of course you must figure out the real reason and the customers interests. Perhaps you can offer him another subscription that better corresponds to the customers interests. Here it is very important that the customer must have an opportunity to try this magazine within a shorter period and of course with an introductory price.
Selling Techniques
Balance Ego-Drive and Empathy

In selling two important drives are ego-drive and empathy. Ego-drive is a force that drives the sales person to achieve an objective closing the sale and this is not always for the money. It can also be for the sake of selling. History tells us of performance that has its origin in ego-drive. After Sir Edmund Hillary reached the summit of Mount Everest, following many unsuccessful attempts, a journalist asked him why he put his life in danger for a mountain. Sir Edmund Hillary thought for a moment and then answered, Because its there! Empathy is the ability to tune into the thoughts and ideas of someone else, to be able to establish a contact and to understand the other person. In the nature of selling the seller does not always get an order. If he/she fails to get the sale it may reduce his/her self confidence. For a sales person with a strong ego-drive this condition doesnt last long. The failure, even if it is very small, functions like a release mechanism, motivating him/her to renew the efforts, so that he/she can receive an ego-massage. A sellers ego-drive must find a balance between; A strong ego, which is not discouraged by failure, and may be motivated and stimulated by a setback. A somewhat debilitated ego, which needs to be reinforced by closing a sale, for instance.
If there is no balance between those two drives, the selling will fail. Too strong a drive prevents an interest in consistently closing sales. Too weak a drive impedes the confidence to sell.
Meeting Different Customers with Different Approaches

Here are two examples of how to start a telephone call for an antibiotic product, addressed to two different doctors. 1. Dr Anderson, I would like to tell you about a new antibiotic, a product that according to clinical tests has considerable advantages over currently available drugs 2. Dr Peterson, I would like to tell you about an antibiotic with few sideeffects. It has been developed by . So why do we approach these two doctors differently? Dr Anderson is probably a doctor that is reserved and shy. He may be sceptical of new products and needs a sales person who is confident and can support his sales pitch with evidence from clinical tests. Dr Anderson is a kind of late adopter (this is a person who takes a long time to purchase new forms of technology and is well behind the majority of the population). 9
Selling Techniques
Dr Peterson appears to be sceptical, but is interested in new advances. He is a kind of innovator (this type of person likes new things and enjoys being one of the first to try them out).
Analyse the Customers Need

When approaching a customer with a view to selling, it is important that you understand the customers needs. The simplest way of determining the customers requirements is to ask them. A few targeted questions at the beginning of a sales negotiation can save time and effort. Never present the product before the customers need has been identified and discussed. Remember that as a seller, it may be appropriate to help the customer to be aware or attentive to the need which you hope to satisfy through the sale of your product or service.
Sales Arguments
Sales arguments are used to describe the advantage to customers of the product or service you are selling. In the process of negotiating a sale it is important to build the confidence of the customer. This can be achieved by Using product facts that the customer understands. Refer to relevant certification, references, tests, etc. If possible, give the customer the opportunity to test the product.
In general, avoid using negative expressions; substitute them with positive expressions where possible, e.g., high value instead of expensive, invest in instead of buy, saving instead of reduced cost.
Treatment of Objections
An objection is an obstacle and an impediment to a sale; therefore. it is important to deal with objections effectively. To argue strongly against objections can often result in entrenched and opposin g views. If possible, try to ans wer the objections before the customer voices them. If the customer does object, keep calm and listen carefully to them. To interrupt gives the impression that you are not interested in the customers view and do not have his/her interests at heart. This will jeopardise the sale. Learn the most common objections to the products or services you are selling and prepare your responses to them.
Selling Techniques
10
Some different methods of handling objections are detailed below: Return to a question For example, if the customer objects to your price; encourage them to consider how the price corresponds to the quality of the product or service you are offering. Refer to a third person - For example, tell them about how the same question was asked by a customer the previous week, and when they examined the subject they decided Yes, but... Use a tactical pause, e.g., It might appear on first inspection that the price is a little high, [pause]...but if you look at what it means for the future. Postpone method For example, That was an interesting question. Is it OK if I can come back to this in a moment, so it can be easier to understand? Return method Ask the customer to consider how they would like their perceived problem to be resolved, e.g., How do you think that this problem can be solved? The assume method Clarify the root cause of the objection and make a suggestion to remedy the objection and close the sale, e.g., Am I right in thinking that the delivery time is crucial for you, so if we can meet your need to have the delivery in three weeks, are we agreed?
Pseudo-Objections
Agents must learn to distinguish between real objections and pseudo- objections or excuses. For example, the following objections may be valid in some situations, but can also be interpreted as a way of exiting the negotiations: I have to talk with my wife first Im too busy right now
The best way to uncover the real reason for the excuse is to ask questions that call for action by the customer. For instance, I understand that you want to involve your wife in this decision. Can we ask her to join us now, or can I call back this evening? If you are to busy now, may I call you tomorrow at half past three, or would four oclock be better?
Selling Techniques
11
The Economy
Customers must have the opportunity to value what they received for the price. Therefore, it is not good if the price comes up too early in the negotiations and it is important that the customer is informed about all the advantages of the product. There are also some methods to balance the products features and the price: Addition You are building up the higher value of the products by plus arguments, e.g. In addition to getting a quality product, you also get a one year guarantee, back-up in case of something going wrong etc. Subtraction With this method you inform the customer of what he is missing if he is not buying from you, e.g. If you dont use the Internet bank you will have to go to the bank to pay your bills, and might have to queue. Altogether this might take up time which is better spent doing more valuable things. Multiplication You mention all the products functions, e.g. Besides being able to pay bills on the Internet whenever you like, you can also use the Internet to explore different things such as Division The investment is divided by the life-time of the product, e.g. if we assume a life-time of 5 years, your monthly cost is .
Closing The Sale

The ultimate goal of any sales negotiation is to close the sale. This step can be quite easy to achieve if you have managed to complete all the steps which we have discussed earlier: Succeeded in establishing a good relationship with the customer. Identified the customers need. Given the customer arguments to buy the product.
However, sometimes you must help the customer to decide. Here there are some methods to help the customer to make his/her decision; Direct question, e.g. Are we agreed on a delivery in two weeks? Alternative methods, e.g. Do you prefer the camera in blue or red? Stair method, e.g. if you summarize the arguments for the purchase that the customer accepted earlier in the call, then there is a strong probability that the customer will agree to the sale. Refer methods, e.g. you refer to another person in the same situation.
Selling Techniques
12
But remember that these methods imply that the customer wants the product and that you are only helping them to make the right decision. If you feel uncomfortable calling this customer next week you have pushed the customer too hard. And this has a negative effect on the customer relations. The reality is that all employees who face the customer are now involved with selling in some form or another. Believing in the product or service will help to make the process easier and more satisfying. We wish you success.

Bettger, Frank (2004) How I raised Myself from Failure to Success in Selling, New York, Simon and Schuster. Eades, Keith (2003) The New Solution Selling, New York, McGraw-Hill Rackham, Neil (1996) The SPIN Selling Fieldbook, New York, McGraw-Hill. Schiffman, Stephan (1997) The 25 Sales Habits of Highly Successful Sale
Selling Techniques
13
11. Happiness
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. Charles Swindoll In this chapter you will learn about:

Some of the factors which bring happiness. The importance of taking responsibility for our own happiness. Evaluate if the job is for us.
The quotation above illustrates very clearly that how we respond to circumstances in our life and at work depends very much on ourselves.
Happiness and Longevity

In 1932 the mother superior of the Sisters of Notre Dame in the United States asked all new nuns to write an autobiographical description of themselves. The descriptions were kept and more recently they were analysed by psychologists who assessed how positive they were (Danner et al, 2001). Surprisingly, the degree of positive feelings which the nuns possessed early in their life was an reasonably accurate predictor of how long they would live. It would appear that we live longer and have better health because we are happy; rather than we are happy because we live longer and have better health. In measuring happiness over the last fifty or so years a surprising thing has been noted. Although, our average income has gone up many times and there are more household goods and better health services, our level of happiness has stayed approximately the same. This not to say that personal income does not help our happiness, it does, particularly if we are living in poverty. However, it only increases our happiness up to a certain level approximately $20, 000. It would appear that higher average income above this level does not lead to greater happiness and this has been found in numerous countries around the world. (Layard, 2005)
Happiness
Generally, what makes us feel good love, friendship, food, etc is helpful to our survival. What makes us feel bad loneliness, ostracism, abuse etc is harmful to our survival. There are five things which on average have a minimal influence on happiness. These are:

Age Gender Looks IQ Education
On the other hand, Layard (2005) identified what he called the Big Seven things which do appear to influence happiness. These are:

Family relationships Financial situation Work Community and friends Health Personal Freedom
Taking Responsibility for Our Feelings

Some people become very annoyed by adverse encounters with other people and this may stew away under the surface for hours or longer and leak out to the surface influencing the way we behave. This may continue until we recognise what is happening and use our cognition to decide the extent to which we will be affected by the incident. There is a story of two women who walked to work each morning. One day one of them felt hungry and went into a newsagents to buy a sandwich and bar of chocolate. The newsagent was not only rude and off-hand he also slammed the sandwiches and chocolate bar down on the counter, and then did exactly the same with the change. The woman buying them said nothing and both women then left the shop. When they were outside her friend asked if she was angry about the inexcusable treatment she received in the shop. The first woman replied that she would not allow anyone else to decide how she was going to feel that day! 2
Happiness
This attitude is a very healthy one and indicates someone with a high level of emotional intelligence. A similar perspective was made by Eleanor Roosevelt who said, No one can make you feel inferior without your permission. Another example of someone taking responsibility for their emotional wellbeing, not being a victim and blaming others is Nelson Mandela. While visiting Robben Island, President Clinton asked Mandela, How do you forgive your jailers?. And Mandela replied, When I walked out of the gate I knew that if I continued to hate these people I was still in prison.
Optimism and Pessimism

Literally hundreds of studies show that pessimists give up more easily and get depressed more often. These experiments also show that optimists do much better in school and college, at work and on the playing field. They regularly exceed the predictions of aptitude tests. When optimists run for office, they are more apt to get elected than pessimists are. Their health is unusually good. They age well. Much freer than most of us from the usual physical ills of middle age. Evidence suggests that they may even live longer. Martin Seligman (1998: 5) Learned Optimism In research it has been found that pessimists tend to have a more accurate perspective on the world and what is happening than optimists. However, although a pessimistic attitude may appear to be deeply entrenched Seligman has found that it is possible to escape these feelings. Our thoughts are not merely reactions to events; they change what ensues. (Seligman 1998: 7) At one time behavioural psychologists believed that people were products of their environments. These psychologists explained that human action was a result of people being pulled by external factors or pushed by internal drives. Yet, there has been a revolution in psychological perspectives since then. Habits of thinking need not be forever. One of the most significant findings in the last [few decades] is that individuals can choose the way they think. (Seligman, 1998: 8) It would appear that our thoughts are not just responses to events we have experienced but that our thoughts can also influence the way we feel. In the first chapter on emotional intelligence we asked you to think of times when you experienced some of the emotions listed. Some of those memories may have appeared quite fresh in our minds and our disposition might have changed quite 3
Happiness
significantly as we re-lived those emotions. Thinking about things clearly influences how we feel.
Our physical posture can also influence the way we feel. It is often said that call centre staff should, Smile down the telephone. People can hear it in our voice when we are happy. Even our posture can influence how we feel. Try standing up with your shoulders rounded and with your head down looking at the floor. How do you feel? We guess, that you are none to positive! This time, straighten your shoulders, take a good breath and lift your head up, smile and look the world in the eyes. How do you feel know? We think you will feel so much more positive, just by changing your posture. This simple example above is illustrated in research by Ekman and Friesen into facial expressions. They found on some occasions when they had been practicing particular expressions that they felt terrible at the end of the day. They discovered that when presenting a facial expression it had an impact on the nervous system. When generating anger, my heartbeat will go up ten to twelve beats. My hands will get hot. As I do it, I cant disconnect from the system. Its very unpleasant, very unpleasant. (Gladwell, 2005: 207) There is a place for pessimism. Optimism has an important place in some, though not all, realms of your life. It is not a panacea. But is can protect you against depression; it can raise your level of achievement; it can enhance your physical well-being; it is a far more pleasant mental state to be in. Seligman 1998: 16)
Cognitive Therapy
This belief is the intellectual underpinning of the self-improvement movement, the wellspring of all those diet books, exercise books, and books on changing your personality: your type A risk for heart attack, your airplane phobia, your depression. What is remarkable is that much of this self-improving ideology is not claptrap. A society that exalts the self to the extent ours does reduces an entity that is not a chimera. The self improving self actually improves itself. You can indeed lose weight, lower your cholesterol level, be physically stronger and more attractive, less compulsively time-urgent and reflexively hostile, less pessimistic. Seligman 1998:88)
Happiness
What Seligman and others are talking about is a concept called cognitive therapy. This uses five tactics: 1. The first thing you should do is learn to recognise the thoughts that go through your mind when you do not feel positive. These thoughts are represented by words and phrases which we can call self-talk. This selftalk may say things such as: I cant operate this computer system.; I am only a worker in this organisation, I cant do anything. 2. The next stage is challenge these thoughts and the basis on which they are made. Focus on the evidence which does not support your self-talk e.g. Actually, I can operate the computer system while speaking to the caller, there are only one or two elements which I need to practice. There are ways of making my views known i.e. through my team leader, the suggestion scheme, writing to the manager. 3. Thirdly, you learn to make alternative explanations which are called reattributions. For example, you might say, Its near the end of a long shift, its no wonder that I am not as sharp as I was first thing this morning. That caller was really annoyed and had good reason. However, he was not really angry with me but with the service which he had not properly received. 4. A very useful strategy is to learn to distract yourself from negative thoughts. Once you begin to recognise these negative thoughts and selftalk and to redirect your thinking to more positive aspects of your life or work you will wallow or ruminate less in the things which make you feel bad. 5. Learn to recognise and challenge the negative self-talk assumptions which we often have with ourselves. Realism is one thing, talking ourselves down and making us feel unhappy is quite another. Victor Frankl (1985) suffered as an prisoner in the Auschwitz concentration camp. He said, Everything can be taken from a man but one thing, the last of human freedoms to choose ones attitude in any given set of circumstances.
Square Pegs in Round Holes

Near the beginning of these training materials we described that working in call centres can be physically and emotionally demanding. However, there is research which suggests that it is no more demanding than a number of other jobs and is less stressful than teaching or nursing for instance. What can be important is how we, ourselves, decide to manage that pressure. This is not to delude ourselves, but as we have discussed our self-talk can have a powerful influence on how we perceive our work. Having more positive self-
Happiness
talk is more likely to increase our levels of satisfaction at work than if we are having negative self-talk. Even with all the strategies described in this book there may come a time when we need to consider if it is time to call it a day working in a contact centre. Having one or two bad days is not sufficient justification for handing in our notice but continued dissatisfaction should make us rationally consider what is right for us. Here are some strategies to consider:

Have we carefully analysed exactly what is causing our dissatisfaction? Have we discussed our feelings with co-workers to see whether or not is a personal thing or perhaps more people are experiencing these concerns. Have we spoken to our line manager to see if there are things which can be done which improve work conditions? Are there possibilities to change our job within the organisation? At the end of the day none of the above may work or be effective. It is then that we should consider alternatives outside the organisation. Have we applied some of the techniques described in the chapters e.g. assertiveness, positive self-talk, managing stress; relaxation techniques; etc.
Happiness
Conclusion - You are Responsible for You!
These training materials on emotional intelligence are only valuable if you learn from them and put them into practice. Keep this binder close to hand and when you have a problem look through the chapters and see if there is advice and useful strategies which you can use. At the end of the day you are responsible for your attitudes and feelings. You can choose to be a victim or you can choose to direct you life in a more positive direction. The more positive you are the happier you will be and you will probably live longer. The choice is yours!
We wish you every success. The CONTACT Leonardo Team
Happiness
If Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, dont deal in lies, Or, being hated, dont give way to hating, And yet dont look too good, nor talk too wise; If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with triumph and disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth youve spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to broken, And stoop and build em up with wornout tools; If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breath a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: Hold on; If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch; If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds worth of distance run Yours is the Earth and everything thats in it, And - which is more - youll be a man my son!
Happiness

Danner, D., Snowden, D. and Friesen, W. (2001) Positive emotions in early life and longevity: Findings from the nun study, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, No. 80, 804-813. Gladwell, Malcolm (2005) Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, London, Allen Lane. Layard, Richard (2005) Happiness Lessons from a New Science, London, Allen Lane. Seligman, Martin E. P. (1998) Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life, New York, Free Press.
Happiness
12. Bibliography
Adler, P. S. (1975) The Transitional Experience: Alternative View of Culture Shock Journal of Humanistic Psychology, Vol. 15, No.4, pp 13-23. Allen, David (2002) Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-free Productivity, London, Piatkus Books. Armstrong, Michael and Stephens, Tina (2005) A Handbook of Management and Leadership, a Guide to Managing for Results, London, Kogan Page. Back, Ken & Back, Kate (2005) Assertiveness at Work: A Practical Guide to Handling Awkward Situations, London, McGraw-Hill Educational. Berne, Eric (2004) Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships, Harmondsworth, Penguin. Bettger, Frank (2004) How I raised Myself from Failure to Success in Selling, New York, Simon and Schuster. Bishop, Sue (2006) Develop Your Assertiveness, London, Kogan Page. Blundel, Richard (2004) Effective Organisational Communication: Perspectives, Principles and Practices, London, FT Prentice Hall. Bower, A. and Bower, G. H. (2004) Asserting Yourself: A Practical Guide for Positive Change, Jackson, TN, De Capo Press. Carnegie, Dale (1990) How To Stop Worrying and Start Living, London, Vermilion. Cava, Roberta (2006) Dealing With Difficult People: How to Deal with Nasty Customers, Demanding Bosses and Annoying Co-Workers, Richmond Hill, Ontario, Firefly Books. Chandler, Steve (2004) 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself: Change Your Life Forever, Franklin Lakes, NJ, Career Press. Chapman, Margaret (2001) Emotional Intelligence Pocketbook, Alresford, Hants, Management Pocketbooks. Cochrane, Pat (1995) The Customer Only Rings Once: Managing Telephone Contact With Your Customers, London, Financial Times Prentice Hall. Bibliography 1
Conner, Marcia (2004) Learn More Now: 10 Simple Steps to Learning Better, Smarter, and Faster, New York, Wiley. Crowe, Sandra (1999) Since Strangling People Isnt an Option Dealing With Difficult People: Common Problems and Uncommon Solutions, Deep Books. Damascio, Antonio (1995) Descartes Error: Emotion, Reason and the Human Brain, New York, Quill. Danner, D., Snowden, D. and Friesen, W. (2001) Positive emotions in early life and longevity: Findings from the nun study, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol, 80, No. 5, pp. 804-813. De Bono, Edward (2004) Six Thinking Hats, Harmondsworth, Penguin. Dunifon, Rachel and Duncan, Gregory J. (1998) Long-run effects of motivation on labor-market success, Social Psychology Quarterly, Vol. 61, issue 1, pp. 3348 Eades, Keith (2003) The New Solution Selling, New York, McGraw-Hill Ferguson, Jan (2003) Perfect Assertiveness, London, Random House Business Books. Frankl, Victor (2000) Mans Search for Meaning, Boston, MA, Beacon Press. Gallwey, Timothy (1986) The Inner Game of Tennis, London, Pan Books. Gallwey, Timothy (2002) The Inner Game of Work: Overcoming Mental Obstacles for Maximum Performance, London, Texere Publishing. Gardner, Howard & Hatch, Thomas (1989) Multiple intelligences go to school, Educational Researcher, Vol. 18, No. 8, pp 4-10. Gardner, Howard (1983) Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences, New York, Basic Books Inc. Gardner, Howard (1984) Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences, London, Fontana. Gladwell, Malcolm (2005) Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, London, Allen Lane. Goleman, Daniel (1996) Emotional Intelligence Why it can matter more than intelligence, London, Bloomsbury. 2
Bibliography
Harris, Thomas (2005) Im OK, Youre OK, London, Arrow. Hay, Julie (1996) Transactional Analysis for Trainers, Hertford, Sherwood Publishing. Hay, Louise (2004) I Can Do It: How to Use Affirmations to Change Your Life, Orlando, FL, Hay House. Helmstetter, Shad (1990) What to Say When you Talk to Yourself, New York, Pocket Books. Hook, Kevin (1998) The Human Face of Call Centre Management, CallCraft. Layard, Richard (2005) Happiness Lessons from a New Science, London, Allen Lane. Leibling, Mike (2005) How People Tick: A Guide to Difficult People and How to Handle Them, London, Kogan Page. Lilley, Roy (2006) Dealing With Difficult People, London, Kogan Page. Mehrabian, A. (1972) Nonverbal Communication, Chicago, Aldine. Norris Rick (2005) The Promised Land: A Guide to Positive Thinking for Sufferers of Stress, Anxiety and Depression, Bloomington, IN, Author House. Rackham, Neil (1996) The SPIN Selling Fieldbook, New York, McGraw-Hill. Richards, Mary and Hailstone, Phil (1997) The Telephone Skills Pocketbook, Alresford, Hants, Management Skills Pocketbooks. Salovey, Peter and Mayer, John (1990) Emotional Intelligence, Imagination, Cognition and Personality, Vo. 9, pp.185-211. Schiffman, Stephan (1997) The 25 Sales Habits of Highly Successful Sale Selby, John (2007) Empathy on Demand: Creating Genuine Connections with Collleagues, Clients and Customers, Charlottesville VA, Hampton Roads Publishing. Seligman, Martin E. P. (1998) Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life, New York, Free Press. Sills, Charlotte and Hargaden, Helena (2002) Ego States: Key Concepts in Transactional Analysis, London, Worth Publishing.
Bibliography
Stone, Hal and Stone, Sandra (1993) Embracing Your Inner Critic: Turning SelfCriticism into a Creative Asset, San Francisco, Harper. Ury, William (1992) Getting Past No: Negotiating with Difficult People, London, Random House Business Books. Widener, C. (2006) The Top Six Ways to Stay Motivated, http://www.refresher.com/!chwmotivated.html, retrieved September 25th, 2006. Williams, Chris (2003) Overcoming Anxiety: A Five Areas Approach, London, Hodder Arnold. Zohar, Danah & Marshall, Ian (2001) Spiritual Intelligence: The Ultimate Intelligence, London, Bloomsbury
Bibliography
Use the additional space in this binder to build up your own collection of emotional intelligence training materials.

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The Emotional Intelligence Training Materials

Good luck The CONTAKT Leonardo Team

The CONTAKT Leonardo Team

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12.

1. What is Emotional Intelligence?

The Development of Emotional Intelligence Multiple Intelligences

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Chapter 4: Developing Positive Self-Talk Chapter 8: Transactional Analysis

What is Emotional Intelligence?

How the brain works

How the Brain Processes Information

3. We process the information and then act on it where necessary.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Measuring Emotional Intelligence

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence in the Work place

Working in Call Centres

What is Emotional Intelligence?

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Using Emotional Intelligence in Call Centres The Range of Emotions

What is Emotional Intelligence?

aggression boredom disgust fear happiness loneliness rejection

anger confidence enjoyment grief hate love sadness

anxiety depression envy guilt joy pride shame

Dealing with Emotions

What is Emotional Intelligence?

The Behavioural Cycle

Their opinions affect their behaviour to me

The people I meet only see my behaviour

They develop opinions about me

They react to my behaviour

The Behavioural Cycle

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Differences are impactful Contrasted cultural reality cannot be screened out

Confusion Disorientation Loss Apathy Isolation Loneliness Inadequacy

Differences are rejected

Anger Rage Nervousness Anxiety Frustration

Rebellion Suspicion Rejection Hostility Exclusive Opinionated

Differences and similarities are legitimised

Self-assured Relaxed Warm Empathic

Assured Controlled Independent old hand Confident

Differences and similarities are valued and significant

Trust Humour Love Full range of previous emotions

Expressive Creative Actualising

Adapted from Adler (1975)

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Six Thinking Hats

Organisation of thinking Creativity

How are we approaching this?

What ways problem?

How do you feel about this project?

What is good about the proposal?

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence for Success at Work and In Life

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Bibliography and Further Reading

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Understanding and Managing Stress

Stressors are also described as either short-term (acute) or long-term (chronic):

Stress: An Individual Response

Understanding and Managing Stress

Sources of Stress at Work