Recovery Attitudes

PATIENCE
All of us have beliefs about how we should treat others and how they, in turn, should treat us. The problem is that its easy to feel let down when others dont meet our expectations. Lets face it; people dont always act towards us as we think they should. Our relationships can sour rather quickly if we give into frustration and impose our thinking about whats good, bad, right and wrong on others. Its one thing to have expectations that are based upon contracts or mutually agreed goals and values; but, another thing entirely if we expect others to measure up to some high and arbitrary standard carried about in our minds. Entitlement is the belief that we are due something from another whether or not we have done something for them. For instance, when we do someone a favor, most of us expect a please and thank you. But if we stop and think about it, none of us are necessarily entitled to courtesy just because we have decided to do something nice or kind. Its always a good thing if others say thank youbut were not entitled to a courteous response just because of what weve done. In situations like these, as well as numerous others, we must learn to separate the things we do, and the reasons we do them, from the outcomes that follow. Our job is to do the next right thing because it is the right thing to donot judge others for what they do or do not do for us. In this lesson we will learn to spot attitudes of entitlement that each of us carry within.
SUBMISSION STEPS Voluntarily submit to any and all changes God wants to make in my life and humbly ask him to remove my character defects.(CELEBRATE RECOVERY: STEP 5) Matthew 5:6 Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires. We admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. (STEP 5 OF THE 12 STEPS) James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. (STEP 6 OF THE 12 STEPS) James 4:10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. We humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings. (STEP 7 OF THE 12 STEPS) 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. STEP REFLECTION 1. As we go through recovery, it is easy to become impatient about our character defects; but according to STEP 5, God is the one who removes our character defects. He will remove it in his perfect timing provided we are entirely ready for him to remove it. In the meantime we must be careful lest we fall into murmuring and complainingwhich is just another form of entitlement thinkingor the belief that we deserve good things in our lives because WE are working on our problems. Entitlement thinking is the false notion that we deserve good things because of who we are and what we do that is outside the bounds of reality. Everyone does this to some extent; but, when you factor in our tendency to live in denial; you have a person who thinks they deserve far more from other people and things than what reality would dictate. 2. Think back over your recovery period (not just the one you are in right now) and list your ten biggest complaints or murmurings that youve made about people, places or things. 3. As you look back over your thinking, what are five entitlements that have clouded your thinking?

SCRIPTURE STUDY LAMENTATIONS 3:38-40 (NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION) Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that both calamities and good things come? Why should any living man complain when punished for his sins? Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the LORD. PHILIPPIANS 2:14 (NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION)

Do everything without complaining or arguing, PHILIPPIANS 4:11 (NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION) I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ________________________________________ SCRIPTURE REFLECTIONS 1. List three reasons why we should not complain for the punishment of our sins. 2. From scripture, it is clear that God does not like complainers. The Israelites were doomed to wonder in the wilderness for 40 years as a result of their complaints against God. a. List five reasons why you believe that God dislikes complaining. b. What is the relationship between complaining and entitlement? 3. The antidote to complaining is contentment. List five differences between contentment and complaining. RECOVERY WISDOM You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses. (Tom WilsonZiggy) ________________________________________ WHAT DOES THIS SAYING MEAN TO YOU? GIVE AN EXAMPLE OF HOW IT WORKS IN YOUR LIFE.