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Superheroes

Ewald Palmetshofer Translated by Neil Fleming

October 2006

neil fleming pounde house, long thurlow rd Badwell Ash, Suffolk IP31 3HZ 44-1359-259625 neil.fleming@hydrocracker.co.uk

ewald palmetshofer kirchstetterngasse 53/9 1160 wien +43-699/11989097 ewald.palmetshofer@chello.at

Cast
David & Spiderman Judith and Catwoman Doris Wolfgang Paul A student in his mid-twenties. Davids sister, not quite yet of voting age. Mother of David and Judith, a schoolteacher French and gymnastics. Father of David and Judith, a successful editorial manager with a photo-journal. Business school graduate in his mid-twenties, now working for a bank. Friend of the family in more ways than one. The voice of a newscaster.

Announcer

The action takes place in a family house in some suburb somewhere

Scene 1
[The scenes in this group 1,3,9,13 and 18 should not be staged as dream sequences. Perhaps an aesthetic, Hollywood-esque approach?]

Darkness. Empty space. A noise of wind. Now a searchlight probes the space. During which we hear the Announcer in voice-over. ANNOUNCER: Lastly tonight, a story from closer to home. It looks like its over. Local businesses are breathing a cautious sigh of relief after two months without an arson attack on shop or business premises. For the best part of half a year, the wave of attacks has kept officials guessing, as arsonists fire-bombed their way with so-called Molotov cocktails through close to a dozen offices and retail outlets, leaving a smoking trail of destruction in their wake. Viewers will recall the in-depth coverage of The World Tonight. Today, security experts are hailing the cessation of the firebomb attacks as a major success. Police Superintendent Jim Wolf, in charge of the case, has been fulsome in praise of what he called superb cooperation between his force and the operatives of private security firms. Carefully targeted monitoring of radical left-wing groups, and a beefed-up security presence in major shopping areas appear to have been the key to preventing further attacks. Yet despite their success, security officials are warning the community not to let down its guard. No one, it seems, wants to sound the official all-clear while the perpetrators of the attacks remain at large. That just about wraps it up from us for this evening. In just a second, its over to Konstanze Breitfelder in the weather studio for tomorrows forecast. But first, heres a strange little story. The Superheroes are coming. The World Tonight learns from an anonymous tip-off that people in the know are readying themselves for the first real life public appearance of yes, Spiderman and Catwoman. The two Superheroes are planning we are told to make quite an entrance, bounding onto the world stage with a political operation. Mind you, theres no date for this right now; our sources cant tell us when exactly we can expect Spiderman and Catwoman to hit the scene. So it looks like an anxious wait for this Disruptive Duo of the political world. But no reason for alarm. After all, theyre only comic-book heroes.

And so to all of you at home, this is The World Tonight saying so long. Thanks for watching; have a good evening; join us again. Good night. Darkness again. Wind. Perhaps some music.

Scene 2
Judith and her mother sit at table. Neither speaks. Judith is varnishing her toenails. Her mother reads a bestseller detective novel in French. There is a platter of vegetable delicacies on the table. Judith has barely touched her plate. Its quiet. Enter David and his father. JUDITH: MOTHER: FATHER: MOTHER: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: FATHER: MOTHER: DAVID: MOTHER: FATHER: MOTHER: FATHER: JUDITH: DAVID: FATHER: Hey, David. David! Good to see you. Give me a hug. Hello, Wolfgang. Hiya, Doris. David, you look good. Honestly. Thanks. Hello Brotherbubba. Hi Judith. Give us a hug. Come here. Hug. Kiss. Hug. You look good All done? You bet hes all done. Right, David? Hungry, David? No. How about you, Wolfgang? Its gone a bit cold, Im afraid. Thanks but no thanks, Doris. Grabbed a bite at the office. Besides whichwell, thanks anyway. It doesnt matter. So? David? Tell Mom. David has some good tidings for us. Good tidings? Rocking. Whatever. Dont be like that. Never hide a little pride, David. So then

MOTHER:

You two men. Honestly, you really are You get a kick out of it, dont you? Little secrets like this. You get a kick of it. David! Tell me what it is now. Please.

FATHER: JUDITH: MOTHER:

Tell her, David. Yeah, David, tell us, OK? Moms like gagging for it. Whats that supposed to mean: gagging for it? I mean to say honestly I mean this is my son were talking about here. I have an interest in his life, I believe. I mean to say. Itd be sort of funny if it didnt interest me. Wouldnt it? I dont think you can call that gagging for it. It interests me is all. You and your notions, Judith. Doris. David, tell her please. Yes, David, do say it. If you dont, I will. I passed. I passed the exam yesterday. All thats left is the dissertation, and then Wow, David. Thats fantastic! You bet it is, Doris. Hes almost done, is David. Almost done with his studies. Finally. That is, I mean You always did so much extracurricular I mean. Theres a thing, though. Getting stuck in. Getting stuck in is a damn good thing. Right? Yeah, sure, it eats up your time. Got to be ready for that. But, well, sooner or later everyone Anyway. Take the bull by the horns. Mom and I never had anything against that. The bull the horns I mean to say. Besides which, its a very positive experience. For later, too. Easy to underestimate. Positive. Cant be bad, thats for sure. So we never had anything against it Mom and I. Because. Well. Thats it, thats right. Took a while, but well. Oh, David. I am honestly so happy. I didnt even know about the exam Yes, but you never tell us that stuff anyway. He tells me. I knew. Well, yes, Judith, we know about you two, how close you are.

FATHER: JUDITH: FATHER: DAVID: MOTHER: FATHER:

MOTHER: JUDITH: MOTHER:

Anyway. He never told us anything even when he was younger. I often never knew when he had a test. If my colleagues at school hadnt let me know I would never have known anything. Because he was always so independent David was always so independent. He keeps everything to himself. Everything. Such an independent child. Ive never seen anything like him at school. Its great, David. All thats left is the final dissertation. Honestly, thats great. Its gone really quickly after all, hasnt it? FATHER: Well, you know. If you just concentrate on one thing. It all goes smoothly. Of course, you have to take a bit of a back seat. Let others go in front of you. Let the others get stuck in, too. Everything slips into place if you let others anyway. In any case, David. Good tidings. Of great joy. Amen. Judith! Were just happy. So am I. How are you, anyway? Us? Were fine. Excellent. Arent we, Judith? Yes. Judith and us. Were fine. Judith is working hard at school. Making up for lost time. Shes in fine form, is Judith. Arent you? And as for Wolfgang and I. Well. Daddy and I. Yes. We are also Well, then. School is going extremely And Daddys office Yes. Were well. Honestly very well. Indeed. But Im all the happier now. Its a great thing, David. And Daddy can no doubt sort you something out at the office. Right? Wolfgang? Well see. We need to look at everything else you Well, theres the commitment youve shown, of course and then we need to find a decent way to sell the fact that its taken you rather longer Well, because the deputy editor Right. Such a nice thing, David. Honestly. David takes a vegetable delicacy from the platter with his fingers. FATHER: Im off for a bath. Doris, are you coming? Father leaves. MOTHER: JUDITH: MOTHER: JUDITH: In a second, Wolfgang. Well? You dont like those, do you? No. Oh well. Sorry. Well, its not like your fault.

JUDITH: MOTHER: JUDITH: DAVID: MOTHER:

FATHER:

MOTHER:

MOTHER: JUDITH: MOTHER:

Well, yes. I could have cooked something else. I honestly am sorry. I might have known. I dont know. Sometime I feel Im just Mom! Judith Doesnt matter. Not everyone has to enjoy everything they eat. I mean. If you dont like it, you just dont eat it. Pause. Judith puts her feet up on the edge of the table and blows on the nail varnish. Her mother gives her a look. Judith takes her feet off the table again.

No. Its OK. Leave them. Im not looking. OK. If anyone needs me, Ill be in the bath. Mother leaves. JUDITH: Jesus, shes like such a pain in the ass. I just didnt like the taste, OK. I dont like all that dainty shit. I dont like the taste. Did you see? Did you see what she did? Fucking typical. I mean. What is that? Is that a reason to blubber? Is it? Tell me. Is that a good reason? Well she damn well should blubber if it makes her so sad. Yeah. Theres a reason to cry. Really. Some kind of fucking reason. Judith doesnt like her food. Jesus. Let her cry. But she didnt cry. No. But she nearly did. Dont come back and live here, David. Im telling you. Its a padded cell. Im living in a padded cell. Sooner or later, Im gonna go under. Shes always blubbering. And hes so damn stressed. So then she cries for him simultaneously. Its enough to drive you nuts. For real.. And you dont have any time any more. Head in your books. What about me? What am I supposed to do? Its been eight weeks this time, David. Its about time we Im coming round your place. Im coming to visit, David! OK? Lets get stuck in again. DAVID: JUDITH: Get stuck in. Thats what he calls it. I had to fucking hold myself back. Ha! I have to fucking hold myself back the whole time. Pull Myself Together. You know how much Ive had to Pull Myself Together these last few weeks. If Paul hadnt Im sorry. Who? Yeah. You know. Paul. It turned out well, thats how it turned out. I mean. I need some way to You never have the time. And I need to I mean. Yeah. Nothing serious.

DAVID: JUDITH:

DAVID: JUDITH:

Pause. So when can I come round? David? When can I come? DAVID: JUDITH: When Ive finished the dissertation. David! Dont be an asshole. Im serious. Im like the one with the problem here, arent I? Trapped in this fucking cell. Im drowning. I need a break, David. And youre being an asshole. Judith Dont fucking Judith me. Im gonna go all transparent. Hey, come here, you. Maybe next week. OK? You know the way she always hugs me? Like what she did to you just now. I dont let her any more, though. Let me strangle you with my love. Let me strangle you. You shall not escape me. Ill squeeze you till your fucking head comes off with the power of my love. Fuck me sideways. I wanna barf. Really. I wanna barf. Shall I tell you something? It was a mistake. It was the biggest mistake of all. I was so nave in those days. So nave. For real.. Ive told her. I keep telling her. So nave! Mother and daughter. Women together. A bond. An energy source. A pile of shit, is what it is. Its guilt! Thats all it is. How can you be so nave and say that kind of shit. I mean And then I tell her she doesnt need to worry any more because Im going to therapy anyway. Yeah, well. Its hard. Two children, both in therapy. Thats pretty damn hard. You gotta start asking yourself: Where did I go wrong? I mean.. Judith. Look at us. You gotta ask yourself Yeah and like you have to start blubbering too, right. Cos its so fucking sad. Does he know too? Ha! What do you think? Dont say a word to Daddy. I cant bring myself to tell him. No, dont say a word to him, Judith. Not a single word. Its his nerves, Daddys priceless nerves. Not a word. Priceless. Think what they must have cost! His shiny new nerves. Not a word.

DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH:

DAVID:

JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID:

JUDITH:

I dont tell them nothing any more. If Im having a shitty time, she worries; and then I worry that shes worried, and I have an even shittier time. Its like For real.. I feel like smoking myself to death today, you know? And what has she done? Hey? Has she ever actually done anything for me? No. Blubbering. Blubbering is what shes done. Thats it. I could croak in front of them and theyd stand there and watch. She blubbers and hes off for a bath. Giant foam-padded fucking babies. Ive told her for real. You know, Judith. You gotta do everything yourself. Thats right. You gotta do everything yourself. That was the Hour of our Birth, Judith. The Hour of our Birth. Clever old brotherbubba. The shit he comes up with. Our first Operation. Someones gotta do it. Yeah. Someones gotta get involved. Get stuck in. The way that pig looked at us. The way he looked. You and me standing by his bed in the middle of the night. And him unable to speak. Cos of his mouth. Which is glued shut. And he cant move, neither. Cos of the handcuffs. And then it goes Click. And the padlock slips smoothly over his little pricky-dicky and his scrotum-ette. Wont catch him feeling up anyone again whos not up for it. Judith goes to the hifi, turns it on, and looks for a CD.

DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID:

JUDITH:

Yeah I really wasnt up for it at that party. Pause. First time is always the best. That was really something special, David. Our first operation. The Hour of our Birth. Our first time. Enter Mother. She has a long bath towel wrapped around her.

MOTHER: JUDITH: MOTHER: JUDITH:

Hows it going, then, you two heroes? Are you telling him about Paulie. I have to pee. How come you have to go as soon as I come in? Because I have to pee.

She leaves. MOTHER: Do you know, David, why Judith is always so foul to me? It hurts, you know. It does. Everyone makes mistakes. Of course they do. Everyone always makes mistakes. Everyone except her. Oh no, not her. But she has a therapist. Right? And do I say anything? I say nothing. Have I ever said anything? David? Hey? Have I ever once said anything? I say nothing. Nothing is what I say. You try it with her. You dare. Sharp tongue? Hers is a dagger. I think its good. What? That she goes around being foul-mouthed to me. The therapy thing. Is she feeling better? David, is she feeling better? I mean, not that she had such a rough time after all. She just She just took it all Something like that can overwhelm you. You have to be strong. I dont understand it. Shes not having a rough time. But there you go. I hope it helps, anyway. But shes not have a rough time, is she, David? Is she having such a rough time? I dont think she is. I dont think shes having such a rough time. No. She looks at David, undoes the bath towel, and wraps herself up afresh. MOTHER: DAVID: Is my hair all right at the back there? Yes. Im going to bed. Good night. See you in the morning. He leaves. MOTHER: Sleep well, David. And all the best. I mean. Congratulations. Sleep tight. Mother lies down on the couch and picks up her book again.

DAVID: MOTHER: DAVID: MOTHER:

DAVID:

Scene 3
Darkness. The noise of wind. A searchlight. Spiderman and Catwoman revealed. Then they are gone. During which we hear the Announcer in voice-over.

ANNOUNCER:

The coming of the Superheroes. It was a World Tonight Exclusive. The forthcoming public appearance, revealed to us by insiders familiar with the story, of Spiderman and Catwoman. Since then, of course, the cry has gone up in many quarters: who needs a Disruptive Duo like these two on the political stage? Well, tonight, its the turn of the Superheroes themselves to speak. For Spiderman and Catwoman, whose identity remains for now a secret, have issued a press statement a statement in which they have let it be known their arrival is imminent, to be expected with the next few days. They plan, and I quote, a series of operations of such explosive force that shall span generations. We come (that is, Spiderman and Catwoman come), bearing the elements, the constituents of a new kind of politics. The world shall receive Coaching our kind of coaching and we shall leave no stone unturned. The time is ripe. Now and for always, before there is real pain, better today than tomorrow while the world still stands. We shall trigger a Global Awakening for young and old. Wheat shall be separated from chaff, and the Sleepers shall awaken or burn. There you have it. The Superheroes press release. Put together, it seems, in a deliberate spirit of openness; and a message which has sparked both excitement and debate among political parties. Asked for its comments, the government has condemned the release as a tasteless joke perpetrated by anarchist organizations. The deputy president, for example, has told us he cant wait for the whole Coming of the Superheroes to unravel into an opposition-backed media farce. At the same time, the leader of the opposition has taken immediate steps to distance himself from Spiderman and Catwoman, and has vehemently denied any link between his party and their supposed arrival on the scene. Thats it for now on the two newest stars in our political sky. Spiderman and Catwoman. And now, the Arts in Focus. A siren sounds. Spiderman and Catwoman are nowhere to be seen. Darkness.

Scene 4
David, Judith and their mother at breakfast. MOTHER: JUDITH: MOTHER: So hows our Paul? Hes good, I think. Im so glad.

JUDITH: MOTHER:

Why? Well, Im glad that Paul and you Hes a real sweetie. Much nicer than that Robert. Much nicer. He was a real shocker, that Robert. Not that we ever Anyway. Its one of those things you have to find out for yourself Yeah, right. If youre like that dumb. Dumb enough to hook up with a Robert. Im not saying that. Not at all. But our Paul. Hes a real sweetie. Yeah. Pauls OK. And he is better than Robert. In all respects. Hmm, I see. Yes. Paul. Like that, is he? In all respects. I see. Paul. No shit. Hes like a real.. No. Im not gonna say. Judith! I wasnt going to ask! But honestly. Its marvellous that youre having a good time with Paul. And after all, these things are not exactly unimportant. Your father and I No. Its not exactly unimportant. Youre right. He rocks in bed. Oh, we are pleased for you. Honestly were so pleased for you. So nice that youre having such a good time with Paul. You never got on with him, did you, David? With Paulie? No, with Robert. He was never really up to the mark. No. Andy, though. You got on OK with Andy? Daddy was fond of Andy, too. When I say fond I mean Andy was a nice enough... Mom! All Im saying isAndy was Mom, you dont know anything about Andy. The guy was another damn psycho. Really! But Andy was Anyway. I dont know. Pity. I always thought he was nice. What shall I cook for tomorrow, then? Dunno. Dont care. Dont say dont care. Then you wont like it again.

JUDITH: MOTHER: JUDITH: MOTHER: JUDITH: MOTHER:

JUDITH: MOTHER:

DAVID: MOTHER: DAVID: MOTHER: JUDITH: MOTHER: JUDITH: MOTHER: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID:

JUDITH: MOTHER: JUDITH: MOTHER: DAVID: MOTHER:

What the fuck...? I mean, Jesus. I wont eat anything any more, if thats what you want. All Im asking is: what shall I make for supper. Judith? What would you like? Shall I wok something up? Yes. A wok it is, then. How you two can smoke like that. Oh come on, Mom. Im not saying anything. Ive got to go. Ive got supervision. See you later. She leaves.

DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH:

See you. So what was that all about? What? That supper business. Saying I dont like anything. Youre such a slimebag. Yeah, right. And what are you, then? Huh? Im not in the slime business. Exactly. You dont do slime. But you dont mind telling her all about Paulie, do you? So? Think about it. Ha! Can it be theres something a bit strange about that? I dont see why. Parading your sex life in front of your mother Oh, please. Sex life. Like how was that my sex life? All I said was, Paul OK. Youre right. Sex life. But with the details left out. I mean. I still might want to tell someone What? That Paul is a better fuck. Are you out of your mind? But thats what its about, isnt it, Judith? That he fucks you better. Right. Why dont you say it a couple more times. No problem. Paulies a better fuck. And that makes Mom happy.

DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID:

JUDITH:

Right. Paul is a better fuck. Right on. Like yeah. He fucks me so sweetly, you have no idea. Nothing in your sex life could possibly compare. He fucks like a God. Its a bummer, isnt it, not having a sex life? Jesus. Id rather do without. Well you dont have one, anyway, do you, David? What a shame. You make me sick, Judith. You always do this. And I sit there and smile nicely. You broadcast your sexual exploits. But what about me? Does anyone even ask me? Oh, would you like that? Shall I ask you at dinner? Judith. You dare It has to be a David Productions show. My show. OK. Ill restrain myself. I promise. Pause.

DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID:

JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH:

DAVID:

Judith, I You know The more transparent you become, the more I become a vacuum. Its like something dragging me inwards. Till I become a single point in space. Not just in front of them. But in absolute terms. But you let everyone see whats inside. You let everyone in. You go transparent. Like glass. And I I dissolve. Me too. No, its different, Judith. I become a disembodied head. Just a head. Weightless in the Universe. Nothing around me. Just emptiness. And in my head is a vacuum. Then something goes Plop and I am gone. Just a point in space, a vanishing point. Gone. You are the head and I am the body. Im not just a head! You know that perfectly well, Judith! Its our breaking points. Theyre different. When I go, the pieces fall inwards, Judith. With you, they go flying outwards. You can explode. Outwards. Not me, though. Its always inwards with me. I implode.

JUDITH: DAVID:

JUDITH: DAVID:

JUDITH:

Its a partnership, David. Together, we can blow out. Explode together. Like two bombs. What would I do without you? Who could I call? Huh? Who? Paulie.

DAVID:

JUDITH:

Paulie thats completely different. I will always call you. Were a team. Superheroes, David. You and me. Us two. Spiderman and Catwoman. You and me. Were Superheroes, David. Always and forever. I am hot Catwoman. Mega-hot Catwoman. The hottest fucking cat there is. She goes like THIS and scratches guys eyes out. I get them like THIS by the balls. And youre Spiderman. Super-sexy Spiderman. Sexy OK. You can be SpiderStud. Hard man SpiderStud. Straight to the heart. Nothing is sacred. None can stand before him. Outwards. Always outwards. Breakout man, David. You have the balls. You are the SpiderStud. Lets explode together. Oh, yes. Spiderman has balls. Balls of fire. Us two, Judith. Spiderman and Catwoman. Breakout man. Youre my hero, David. My hero. I love to watch as you start to open up, as you summon your powers, as your private life opens up to the politics of the world, as you let Spiderman in. And you are Catwoman. Dont let any more people in, Judith. The return to visibility. The going out. The going out and exploding. The two of us. Only the dissertation to go, David. And then the return of the superheroes. This time were coming for real. We are heroes, Judith. Come here. Youre just totally beautiful. Were heroes.

DAVID: JUDITH:

DAVID: JUDITH:

DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH:

Scene 5
Evening. David and his mother sit in their living room. The TV is on. Davids mother is reading her detective novel again.

DAVID: MOTHER: DAVID:

When is Dad coming home? Any moment now. Why? Just wondering. Pause.

MOTHER:

So how are you, anyway?

DAVID:

Im good. Lots to read right now. The dissertation. Ho hum. Pause.

MOTHER: DAVID: MOTHER: DAVID: MOTHER:

And otherwise? What? I mean, how are you otherwise? Good. Great. Pause. And how is Joanna?

DAVID: MOTHER: DAVID: MOTHER:

Shes good, too. Why? Just wondering. So what is she up to, your Joanna? She doesnt have a boyfriend, does she? No. But shes a real sweetie. A fully paid-up sweetie. Really. I see. Joanna. Pause Its a shame that with Tania you never Anyway. You dont really have the time, do you? Always studying. No time at all. For that sort of thing. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if your life was as complicated as Judiths. To have two of you like that. Frankly, Id rather have five sons than one daughter. Ah. Heres Dad now. Enter Davids father.

DAVID: FATHER: MOTHER: DAVID: FATHER:

So. How was your day? Same old same old. Youve seen one editorial meeting... Paul says hi, David. Good evening, Wolfgang. Paulie. How did you run into him? Went for a drink with the guys after work. Were just sitting there when Paul walks in. He specially asked after you. Specially. He walks up to me and asks me how you are. Specially comes to talk to me. He seemed really interested. Chatted a bit. About himself. He sells himself pretty well. Good talker, that Paul. Asked after you specially. He was in the same class as David at school.

MOTHER:

FATHER: MOTHER: DAVID: FATHER: DAVID: FATHER: DAVID: FATHER:

Who? Paul? Yes. He was, wasnt he? David. Earth calling David. Isnt that right? It is, isnt it? Yes. So how come you broke off? Broke off what? The thing with Paul. Why did you let it break off? He asked specially after you. What is it you think I broke off, Dad? What would that be? Well, Ive never had a problem with Paul. You just break everything off. You shouldnt be surprised, you know. When you go around breaking things off. Surprised? David. Where are your friends? Where are they? You just break everything off. Paul specially asked after you. He has his reasons, no doubt. What sort of reasons could he possibly have? He likes to show an interest. Our Paulie is a real sweetie. I mean who have you got? Hey? Who? Who have you got apart from us? David? Apart from us, youve got no one. Jeez! What the? Yesterday youre over the moon about my exam result. And today! Thats quite a different matter, David. This is about your social life. So go on, tell me: who have you got? Hey? Who? Do you have any kind of a network? A social network? Yes. I have. Oh come now, David. Try to tell the truth. Its all rather fleeting, isnt it? Oh yeah. What about Tania? And Joanna? And Peter? And Agnes? Ooh. Who on earth is Agnes? Youve never told us anything about her. Agnes is a real sweetie. A double sweetie. If youre honest with yourself, you have nobody.

DAVID: FATHER: DAVID: FATHER: MOTHER: FATHER: DAVID: FATHER:

DAVID: MOTHER: DAVID: MOTHER: DAVID: FATHER:

DAVID:

I have networks. Pause.

MOTHER: DAVID: MOTHER: FATHER: MOTHER: DAVID: MOTHER: DAVID: MOTHER:

But David, you never introduce us to anyone. Take Joanna. Why dont you introduce Joanna to us. For example. Or maybe Agnes? Im in love. Oh, David. Cool. Oh really. In love with whom exactly? Yes, with whom? Is it Agnes? No. Its Martin. I beg your pardon? I said Martin. Oh. I see. Yes. Right then. If thats the way it is.. Right. Your father and I I mean to say. Well, youre quite old enough. If that is your decision Were not going to lecture you about anything. Youre quite old enough. Right. Yes. If thats the way it is, then that is the way it is. Yes. That is the way it is, in my case. Whats more, I like it that way. I like it a lot. Broken off everything, you have. Everything. Im not surprised. No. I am not at all surprised. You never did try to integrate. Why did you never try to integrate. Hey? Paulie asked after you specially. But you just never.. No. Not you. The key thing is to make sure you integrate. Damn it. It would be no skin off your nose. But no. You just cant bring yourself to do it. Sir cant bring himself to do it. He always has to Well, I understand that, I suppose. You were always too smart. Yes. Daddys right. You honestly were always too smart. But for Christs sake what about the business of integration. Do you know how hard its going to make it? Damned hard is how hard. I dont know who you get it from. Your mother and I Look at us. We integrate, damn it. We engage in the integration process. Its just a question of Well. Paulie asked specially after you. In your shoes, I would start integrating PDQ. But, David, if thats honestly your decision You really are quite old enough. I have to go to bed.

DAVID: FATHER:

MOTHER: FATHER:

MOTHER: FATHER:

DAVID: MOTHER:

Apparently there are some quite good self-help groups. For afflicted parents. What are you talking about, afflicted parents? We are not in the least afflicted. Its your decision, David. It is entirely your own decision. No one can take that away from you. Afflicted? Honestly. I mean to say. Youre quite old enough. Are you saying we David. Its your decision. Your mother and I are splendidly integrated. Doris. Why dont you join me? Im tired. They leave.

FATHER:

Scene 6
DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: I told them. What? No. You didnt. David. You hero! Whens your next therapy session? Judith I..I broke it off. Why, David? Because that Ms Schachinger Anyway. It wasnt doing any good. But why? She was like doing a good job, wasnt she, your Ms Schachinger? Dyou get bored of it? No, I blew up. She threw me out. You what? She threw me out. She cant work with me any more. Unfortunately. Oh, shit. Why? Because I dont engage. Apparently. I dont engage. And if I just want to be coached, I should go somewhere else. There are cheaper places for that sort of stuff. And then I wouldnt have to engage. But what she does is therapy, and you have to engage. Hmm. Shit. The hell with shit. You think Im going to let her sedate me. Your anger is a mask for your grief.

JUDITH: DAVID:

Shes shitting herself. Completely shitting herself. Trying to persuade me my anger is grief. As far as shes concerned, Im simply a sad guy. Anything but angry. Grief good. Anger bad. There are no flaws in the system, David. You simply need to alter your perspective. Its a systemic problem, David. Systemic my ass. You need to alter your perspective; make room for your grief, David. Then you wont need that feeling any more. That feeling you have, that something is wrong. With the world. Of course somethings wrong. And how, David. But the feeling you have, David, the anger, David. You wont need that any more, David. Its a defense mechanism, David. Your views are merely a point of view. Everything is a point of view. There are only points of view and some kind of superdooper existential Ur-grief. David, you are not engaging. Make room for your grief, David. I dont see the gestalt right now, David. Im not getting a clear gestalt from your politics, David. Its not substantive, David. Not at all. Unfortunately, David. But if you persist in hiding behind your politics, then a coaching session might suit you better, David. Cheaper, in any case, David. And you wouldnt even have to engage, David. Its a defense mechanism, David. But go ahead, if it protects you, David, then Like fuck it protects me. What is it supposed to protect me from? My politics cant protect me. And I say this: Im not interested in grief. I have this rage in my belly. And then she goes: Very well, David. If you prefer to engage with your anger, David. If its angers turn at the moment, David. For you. Well then. If that is the NOW, then lets explore your anger, David. Show me your anger, David. It may be that your anger must become a gestalt first, David, in order that you can then make room for your grief And then she gives me like a baseball bat. And puts a mattress on the table. And Im supposed to hit the mattress with the bat. Perhaps the mattress will acquire a face, David. And something will surface, David. And then Im supposed to hold onto the image. And when she says stop, I have to stop.

So I stand in front of the mattress and mammock it. I really go for the mattress. Full on. And I get really in touch with myself and beat the shit out of the mattress and beat the fucking mattress black and blue. And somehow Im really into it. And I tap right into my inner Powers and my central self and into the rage in my belly. Fantastic. To be so up for myself. Fantastic to have made contact and to be engaged. And I feel completely well in myself and can grasp the whole gestalt and I rain my anger upon the mattress. And I hit it and bash it. And I knock the shit out of it. That fucking shit mattress. I beat the fucking mattress black and blue. Und then I have the feeling an image is forming. I have to hold on to it. I hold onto it. Do I ever hold on to it. And Im hitting and hitting. Hitting with all my strength. I hit like Ive never hit before. I hit out all over the place. And theres the table. And I start hitting that too. Do I ever hit it. I hit the hell out of it. And then the bookcase. I start hitting the bookcase. And the books. And the couch, and I really get in touch and I get there, finally I really make contact with my inner Powers and I beat and I hit and I hit and I let her shout Stop and Im beating the crap out of everything and feel nothing but rage. Stop she screams. Stop. And Im so hot. Any moment now, Ill get there. Any moment now. Ms Schachinger. My Powers. Any moment now. Ill blow up. Im there. Any moment now. Give me the Powers and Ill freak out all over them. I will so freak out all over them out there. Ill explode. Light my fuse, Schachinger. Right now. Im off to freak out. Light my fuse, Schachinger. Right now. Light me up cos Im a bomb. Stop! Stop, David. Im telling you to stop. I trashed her entire therapy room. I transgressed the boundary. I went too far. Her personal space. Her boundaries. She had said stop. JUDITH: DAVID: David She wanted to see my anger, right? Let her integrate someone else. I was so up for myself. Like never before. Pause. JUDITH: You did over your therapist. Hot. David. For real.. You truly are the SpiderStud.

Scene 7
The family at supper. MOTHER: JUDITH: MOTHER: FATHER: JUDITH: FATHER: JUDITH: FATHER: MOTHER: FATHER: MOTHER: JUDITH: MOTHER: FATHER: So? Hows it taste? Judith? Yeah, its great, brilliant. For real. There. You see. She likes my WonderWok. I saw Paul yesterday. For real? Paul? Where? After the meeting. Straight off, he asks after David. For real? Thats nice. Hes a good kid. Paul is a good kid. Walks up and speaks to me. Asks straight off. He and David went to school together. Yes, he remembered him straight away. Asked after him specially. Judith gets on famously with him, too. Did you know, Wolfgang. The pair of them are well.. Mom. Now, Judith. Whats the issue? Daddy is interested in these things. Arent you, Wolfgang? Judith and Paul. Theyre an item. Aha. Really. Is that so? Hooked up with Paul, have you? Really. Pauls a good kid. Judith and Paul Why is it exactly that I am always the last to be told everything? Can someone tell me that? Hey? No one ever tells me anything. No. And thats not right. Last in line. Once everyone else knows. Right at the end of the line. Thats when I get told. Last. Once everyone else knows. Then its time to tell the old man. Isnt that right? I go last. MOTHER: FATHER: Wolfgang How do you think that feels? Hey? When everyone is conspiring against you. Everyone. Always the last to know. Are you my children? Hey? Well, maybe you arent. Who the hell knows. I dont. I have no information. No one tells me anything. Not me. No. They just present me with the facts at some point. Pause. How long have you know?

MOTHER: FATHER: DAVID: MOTHER: FATHER: JUDITH: FATHER: MOTHER: FATHER:

Not long. Oh right, and how long is that? Hey? Did you know about him, too. The business with David? No. She didnt know that. No, Wolfgang. Truly I didnt. But you did, didnt you? Me? Well, hell, Daddio Enough said. I know the score. OK. Fine. Paul. Hes with the bank. Quite right. Im sure they do a pension scheme. Dont they? Have they got one? Judith! Have they got a pension scheme? Pause. No one bothers to acquaint themselves with the facts. Doris, why does no one bother to acquaint themselves with the facts. Judith! I presume you understand this is important. A private pension scheme. Its phenomenally important, I would go so far as to say. You have to think about the future, too, once in a while, you know. Because you lot arent going to get any sort of pension. Not you. No. Not you lot. Im sorry to have to say it. But you wont. Its a fact. Ask your boyfriend. If they have one. Because you wont get one. And you cant rely on your children, if you ask me. David, a propos. You need one as a matter of urgency. In your situation. It makes it twice as important. Ill even pay for it.

MOTHER: FATHER:

Lets ask Paul. Absolutely. No forgetting, please, Judith. Hey, listen. You should introduce him to us. Ask him round and well acquaint ourselves with the facts. Ask him round, your Paul. Quite right, Judith. Lets have him round. Isnt this like my relationship? I thought? Isnt it? Judith, were only saying hes welcome to come round. Yes, otherwise Ill go and see him at the bank. Just a joke Ha ha very funny, Dad. Tell the truth, now. Its not really a joke at all, is it? Tomorrow morning, youll be down the bank acquainting yourself with the facts.

MOTHER: JUDITH: MOTHER: FATHER: JUDITH:

David gets up and clears his plate away. MOTHER: DAVID: MOTHER: DAVID: MOTHER: David? Finished already? Im going back into town. Im gonna sleep in town. Where will you sleep? In my apartment. Oh. I thought you Yes. Say hi to Martin.

Scene 8
Judith sits in Davids room. David is packing a bag. JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: Whats this, then? You keep a diary? No. Its just stuff I write. All kinds of stuff. Can I look? Cool. I had to do this stuff too. What? Therapy homework. A letter to your parents. Dear Mommy and Daddy. Thank you for bringing me into this world. It was very super of you. I bow down before you. I lay myself at your feet. And Now: ninety-nine things I hate about you. Can I like read it? No. You read it. Oh, go on. David. Please. No. Its all shit. Give it back. Mine was all shit too. Mega-shit. This kind of thing is bound to be shit. If you laugh, Ill tell Mom. Im afraid shes afraid of me. Shell just start blubbering again. Maybe I should scratch her eyes out. That would stamp out the blubbering. That would stamp it out, right? Yeah, anyway. Start reading, David.

DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH:

DAVID:

Dear Mom and Dad. Both of you are now over fifty. Well done! Youre almost there. Youre almost there. And then you can get some rest. Wont be long now. And youll get your nice pension and a few more wonderful years. At least twenty. Youre still young, after all. Youre still so young. Youre almost younger than we are. You have a psychological age of minus twenty-five. Psychological maturity minus physical age. Comes to minus twenty-five. Nice score. Very nice score. Because after all you keep on getting younger all the time. Theres a thing to celebrate. You keep on getting younger. Meanwhile we will happily take on the responsibility for your welfare. In order that you may be left in peace to carry on getting younger. Were happy to take that on. Please dont worry about a thing. We will take really good care of you. You can rely on us. Really and truly. Not only that, we can build on it. With the world youve made, we can do some damn good building on things. A solid base. A damn solid base. Makes building on it a pleasure. Really a pleasure to build on it. With a solid base like that. It has potential. It has damned good potential, your world. Really and truly. Well take good care. Never fear. Enjoy it, and grow young in peace. Dont worry. Well make something of it. Of your world. Oh yes, well make something of it. Promise. After all, weve made something of ourselves, havent we? Look at what weve made of ourselves. What a thrill. The things we have made of ourselves. And then theres the world. That wont be a problem. That really wont be a problem. Itll be fine. Really and truly. We can make something of this shitty little world you have so thoughtfully prepared for us. Well make something of it. Its got at least another twenty years in it. Should be enough. Should be enough time for us to make something of it, before the world comes to an end. So dont worry. Grow young in peace. We are happy to cook for you. Well take all your troubles away. And if it comes right down to it, well feed you your feed too. Well do that. Of course well do that. And your assholes. We will of course wipe those for you while were about it. Its a package deal. The feeding, the wiping of assholes, and the updating of the world. We can manage that. We should in fact see it as something of an obligation to accelerate your Youthing process. In the event that we might have to help there are certain substances. For the event that we felt compelled. Please dont take it personally. It would be a purely political necessity. But youre aware of that. Youre no strangers to that idea. You know all about that. Oh, those political necessities. Dignity. We would sacrifice you with dignity on the altar of political necessity. Promise. Dignity, always dignity. You can rely on us. We would sacrifice you with dignity. Driven purely by political considerations. So dont worry. Now. In the event that you manage to develop all the way back to stem cells. Two stem cells in a marriage bed. In that case. You would I am sure have no objection to us using you as the raw material for something new. Judith smokes so much, you see. A new pair of lungs could really come in handy...you wouldnt mind, would you? You are getting younger all the time. Ever younger. And so we would put

something new together out of you. Well work on you. Well work damn hard on you. Theres a whole mountain of work to get through before the world comes to an end. But were happy to take it on; its a Heros task, an honorable task. Its a task that we shoulder with joy. To the rescue of your solid world. Our costumes fit perfectly. Our superhero costumes fit us like gloves. Judith and I have damn pretty superhero costumes. You should see them. Maybe well show them to you. But until then, a few more wonderful years. Happy Youthing. Lots of love. David. PS: Your world really does have a very solid basis. JUDITH: Miaow.

Scene 9
Darkness. A searchlight. Spiderman glides down the frontage of a chic fashion establishment. Catwoman appears. They meet in front of the shop window and slip round the corner, disappearing. During which we hear the Announcer in voice-over. ANNOUNCER: There has been a renewed outbreak of bomb attacks on shops and businesses. Reports are coming in of two further arson attacks on business premises overnight, the perpetrators unknown. We understand that the bombs deployed detonated within minutes of each other, destroying an Italian fashion chain outlet and a branch of a large domestic fashion footwear retailer. Both attacks caused extensive damage to property. No one was injured. But theres widespread concern that these attacks mark a new phase in the wave of violence that until just a couple of weeks ago cast such a dark shadow over the business world. The police say they are working flat out, all possible resources deployed.

Meanwhile rumors are spreading of a possible link between the most recent arson attacks and the much-heralded public appearance of Spiderman and Catwoman. According to a spokesman for the Department of Homeland Security, immediately following the press statement of the Superheroes, a number of left wing radical groups reportedly took credit on insider websites, claiming that they and Spiderman and Catwoman were one and the same. Could Spiderman and Catwoman therefore simply be cover-names for a plan aimed at the destruction of world capitalism? Police Superintendent Jim Wolf told this program, however, he believes the announced arrival of the superheroes to be no more than a clever diversionary tactic on the part of these groups, a ruse to conceal their role in steering the attacks. That said, he believes there is no danger to the public even in the event of an actual appearance by the Superheroes. That just about wraps it up for this evening. Before we head over to Konstanze Breitfelder for a final weather update, theres just time for Arts in Focus. Over to you, Ottfried. Spiderman and Catwoman appear suddenly behind the glass inside the shop window. A silent alarm starts to blink somewhere. Spiderman spins a thread high into the air, seizes Catwoman around the waste, and the pair disappear. Shortly afterwards, the shop window explodes. Darkness.

Scene 10
JUDITH: DAVID: PAUL: DAVID: PAUL: DAVID: PAUL: DAVID: PAUL: DAVID: I dont need to introduce you two, do I? No. David. Hi. Hello, Paul. So hows it going, David? Yeah, OK. You? Same. Word is, youre working at the bank. Yup. Mortgages. Ah, OK. Not in pensions or anything.

PAUL: DAVID:

Nope. Why? Just asking. Pause.

PAUL: DAVID: PAUL: DAVID: PAUL: DAVID: PAUL: DAVID: JUDITH:

I heard you switched courses a couple of times. At college. No. I didnt. Why? Oh, right. Then I must have Whatever. You did a lot of other stuff, too, right? Your Dad told me you had some kind of very busy social scene. Political scene, Paulie. Its political. Not social. I got you. Doesnt matter, Paulie. Dad gets it mixed up sometimes. Ah, OK. Wolfgang gets it mixed up. Whatever. It happens, Paulie. Forget it. Not important, right? Political social.. no big deal. Yeah, Dad does like get it mixed up sometimes. Thats how he is. A mixer-upper. Pause.

PAUL: DAVID: PAUL: DAVID:

So tell me, David. Whats up? How are you otherwise? Im good. Thanks. Cool. Sure. You look good. Thanks. You too. Brief pause.

JUDITH:

This is like so totally funny, right? Here we sit, the three of us. I was actually like kind of nervous. I mean not nervous. How long has it been since you two I mean, cos you dont .. anymore Must be totally ages, right? For real. I think its cool you guys are so For real. After such a long gap. How long has it been? Its gotta be Yup. Almost ten years. But I mean People see each other every now and then, right? By chance. Yes. Whatever. Cool times, though, back then. My parents always used to say: This is the best of all times. After this, it gets serious. And well you dont see it till its gone. Cool times. Pretty cool.

PAUL: DAVID: PAUL:

DAVID: PAUL:

Really? I cant remember how it was at all. Huh? For real? Oh come on, David. Sure you remember. Mrs Weinberger. Dont you remember Mrs Weinberger? Nose like a vulture. Jesus Christ. She was so gone. For real. Man. You wouldnt believe it, Judith. She was so damn gone. Or Hofer? What about Hofer? He was cool. He was really cool. Full-on left-wing Green. The times they are achangin, aint they Paulie? If anyone had ever said to me, youd be working in a bank. Paulie in a bank. If Hofer found that out The times they are achangin. If only Hofer knew Hey, well, you know. I was always interested in business. Really? Well, then. I guess that makes it OK. Its nice when a person does the thing that interests them. Real nice. My Dad is completely besotted with you, Paulie. Is he? Yeah. Totally. Cos youre such a good talker. Oh. Well, we have chatted a bit lately. But well.. Paulie. Dont be so shy. Its always been that way. You were good as the class spokesman in school. Really. A good talker. You think? Yes. Totally. For real. The way you could talk. Man Dads like totally hot for you, Paulie. Yeah, Paulie, yeah. Judith and me well, were not so talented. Unfortunately. We dont have that kind of a way with words. Do we, Judith? Were more the practical kind. David! Its true, though. What can you do? Good talkers are born. Its a gift. You either have it or you dont. You can learn to do it. Really? OK. You get coaching? Well. Sure. I mean its the smart thing to do. Almost all of us do it. See, Judith. Everyone has a coach. How come we dont have one of those? How come we dont get coaching? Tell me that, Judith. Dammit. Mrs Schachingers right. I need coaching. Im gonna get me some. Well, you know. I mean it pays off.

DAVID:

PAUL: DAVID:

PAUL: JUDITH: PAUL: DAVID: PAUL: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID:

JUDITH: DAVID: PAUL: DAVID: PAUL: DAVID:

PAUL:

DAVID:

Of course it does. Especially if the man from the bank says it does. Its an investment. And youve really made something of yourself, Paulie. Totally. I go all dewy-eyed to think what a young person like you can make of themselves. Maybe you really should get a coach Probably. Because. I mean you just made the better decisions, didnt you, Paulie? Right? You said to yourself: study something smart, something with a future, something proper, something with a return, not some breadline subject. Get your priorities straight. I can understand that. Youve made something of yourself. Coaching. And then the ultimate act, of course. A good old bourgeois colonic irrigation to flush out the last of the left-wingery. Can you get one of those at the coaching place, too, Paulie? Course you can. They have everything there. I got a free car. And an apartment as a bonus. My own apartment. Stop it now, David. Why? Im interested. I need to acquaint myself with the facts before I go off and get some coaching, dont I? David! Judith, its OK. Really. Its fine. David just wants to let us know theres only one guy in the room with balls. Right, David? That was always your problem. Always wanna be the alpha male. And always a bit coarse. But thats all part of the style. Stick like glue to the party line and dabble a bit in activism on the side. And a bit of ideology never did any harm. And whats the point of discussing it, even if theres another way? Right, David? There is another way. And yeah, you have balls. And yeah, there is another way. The hard way. (in the voice of a therapist) Oh, Paulie. Paulie. You seem to be misrepresenting the situation now. I am not going to talk to you on this level. OK? Really and truly. You see, I am the product of therapy, Paulie. This is, sadly, no longer my level. I cant go with you on this one, Paulie. Honestly. Its beneath all possible dignity. Really. And in any case you have already proved the opposite to us. The complete opposite. Have you forgotten? I know all about your balls.

PAUL: DAVID:

PAUL: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: PAUL:

DAVID:

PAUL:

David, what is your problem exactly? Tell me. What is it? Maybe youll figure it out when you finally get done with college.

JUDITH:

Stop it, you two! Like what the fuck is this? David! Why isnt this working? Huh? Why cant it work just one time..? Why cant it? David, for real what the fuck is the matter with you? I dont believe this shit. Why should anything be the matter? Its nothing personal. Its just that Paulie and I are speaking on different levels. Nothing personal. Its just points of view, Judith. Its just political discourse. Full-on. Right? Paulie? It has nothing to do with our private lives, right? If you say so, David. I do say so. Pause.

DAVID:

PAUL: DAVID:

JUDITH: PAUL: JUDITH: PAUL: DAVID: PAUL: DAVID: JUDITH:

Paul, lets go. You wanna go somewhere else? I have an early start. You can sleep here, you know. Yup. Thanks. Paulie, Im sorry. I didnt want to spoil your fun. No, David, its OK. Politics is fun, right? But so much fun is kind of tiring. Sleep well, David. You too. Paulie, wait. Ill walk you to the door. Judith leaves the room with Paul, and returns alone shortly afterwards. Was that really necessary?

DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH:

What? For you to pull all that stupid shit with Paul. Must you always push it like that? Everyone knows youre supersmart. Its not about that. Ah. Then what is it about? Huh? What the fuck is it about? Tell me, David. Go on. Whats it about? Huh? Paulies a limp-dick. Thats all. Oh, thats like so mean of you, David. That is really such mean crap, David. Really. Theres real left-wing for you. Bravo. Youre a proper leftwing arsehole.

DAVID:

Oh now you watch yourself. Like you know fucking shit, right? Like you know shit. This has fuck-all to do with being left wing. Paulies a square. You get me. A get-stuck-in freak. Thats why Dad likes him so much. He blows with the wind. Business never interested him. Never! Do you know him? Huh? Do you? Just cos you went to school with him. That was ages ago. Oh but sure. You know him. Sure you do. Like better than I do. You know, sometimes, youre so fucking so totalitarian. Yeah. Thats it. Totalitarian is what you are. The whole worlds gotta function like from your perspective. Paulie is making an effort, OK? Hes making a fucking effort. It wasnt Paulie who started it. David, this is important to me. Its fucking important to me that you guys get along. Cant you make a bit of an effort? Huh? Just a little bit? Fuck it, David, its important to me. I cant do this on my own. I dont know how you do it. I cant. Always to be alone. I cant do that. Paulie is OK. For real. He really is OK. And Paulie doesnt have a problem with it. Really he doesnt. Ive asked him. He doesnt have a problem with it.

JUDITH:

DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID:

What? That youre gay. He doesnt have a problem with it. Really not. I beg your pardon but what the fuck did you do? Are you out of your tiny fucking mind? Youre telling me you told him? I mean. Are you totally Judith! You OK, now calm down, David. This is important to me. I think I just explained that. I wasnt just throwing that in. I want you to understand that this is so important to me that I even Judith, you are completely out of your mind. How could you do that? How could you do that without asking me? Fuck, Judith. I should smack you for being so dumb. I dont fucking believe it. Oh wow you are like so politically incorrect. You superdooper left-wing faggot. David slaps her. You asshole. She starts crying.

JUDITH:

DAVID:

JUDITH:

Yeah, right, I know. Its all shit, the whole thing with Paul. I know it is really. And sex with him is shit, too. He fucks like a jerk. Its all shit, David. I always wind up with guys like him. Always. Jerks, all of them. Its all shit. Fucked-up, shitty shit. Trouble is, I fall in love so quick. I hate myself for it. God, I hate myself. Boom. Im in love. Like a bomb. Boom. In love. Its like Im going off the whole time. A fucking bomb. Boom. Boom. Boom. Thats what Im like. I guess Catwoman has a bunch of work to do on herself. Boom shes in love. What a load of shit. I fall in love so quick, David. Ive gotta work on that. For real. Pause. DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: Do you need some coaching? What? Well? What she say, da Catwoman? Huh? She wanna take a tour of the neighborhood wid ol Spiderman? What? Now? Of course, now. If Catwoman needs to work on herself. Ill be your coach. And besides, Im far too sexy for any of them. A bourgeois little life like that that would never do for Catwoman. She prefers to tour the neighborhood. And do wicked deeds. Yesterday was your best ever. For real? Hey, thanks. Gonna start purring any second. You too, though. Were such a cool team.

DAVID: JUDITH:

Scene 11
Mother sits at the table correcting a mountain of school exercise books. Father comes through the door carrying a briefcase. MOTHER: FATHER: MOTHER: FATHER: MOTHER: Wolfgang? Youre early. Yes. I am. Early. Hold on a tic and Ill finish this one. They get dumber by the day. I dont think Ill be doing this all that much longer. Nor will I. What? Wolfgang? Wolfgang, whats the,,,?

FATHER: MOTHER: FATHER:

Doris Wolfgang. Whats the ? I had to go see the editor today. The deputy editor. We get the issue out and then the deputy editor summons me to his office. To talk about my position, Doris. They want to restructure it. Wolfgang, thats impossible. Wolfgang. How is that possible? Wolfgang. They cant do that. I mean, youre the Since the early days. It was you who built the whole thing up, Wolfgang. That may be. The deputy editor. Is restructuring. My position. Its a hindrance. He says. To the process. My position is a hindrance. To be precise. It is a hindrance. And my management competencies are also a hindrance. And my skill-set. According to the deputy editor. But you helped build the whole thing up. Wolfgang. Youre a do-er, Doris. Thats how it is. Wolfgang. Youre bound to find something. Definitely. Youre a do-er. You have experience. Decades of it. No one can take that away from you, Wolfgang. No one can take that away from you. You have experience. Well, if he believes I mean, OK. If he believes. I can understand that. I mean Im sure he has his reasons. Its a different playing field. And at my age, you have to I mean. Im sure its a legitimateFrom his point of view. I can see that. If my position is a hindrance. Its not personal. And besides, its I mean. Theres something to it. So, thenIf thats what the deputy editor believes, Ill go and get some coaching. Wolfgang. Well. I mean well, if youre so flexible about it. Its bound to be a good thing. Right. Definitely. Why not get some coaching? Not such a bad thing. Right? You honestly are incredibly flexible for your age. Honestly. Wolfgang. My Wolfgang. Hes so flexible. You get younger all the time. And you get more beautiful. Wolfgang. They kiss. Enter Judith.

MOTHER:

FATHER:

MOTHER: FATHER: MOTHER:

FATHER:

MOTHER:

FATHER: MOTHER:

JUDITH: MOTHER: FATHER: JUDITH:

Oh for Gods sake. Do I have to watch this? Whats the big deal? Since when were you such a prude, Judith? Oh, sorry. Maybe I just dont feel too good right now. And maybe I just dont need it, OK?

FATHER: MOTHER: FATHER: JUDITH: MOTHER:

Well, OK. If youre not feeling too good. Sure. Would you rather wed got divorced? Hey? Would you prefer that? Wolfgang, dont talk nonsense. But Im right. Would you rather we were unhappy? Mom and I? Hey? As it happens, I was talking about me. You can just Now, Judith. Daddy has just come home with some rather good tidings. And were happy. I mean to say. Theres nothing wrong with that. Is there? Youre happy too. Sometimes. It isnt such a bigI mean. Your Daddy is going to be able to get some coaching. You know? Well its not really all that wonderful. Anyway. What the hell. Im going to go and have a bath. Doris? I dont know. Yes, all right. Ill come up in a little while. Good. See you. Bye-bye, Wolfgang. Father leaves.

FATHER: MOTHER: FATHER: MOTHER:

MOTHER: JUDITH: MOTHER: JUDITH: MOTHER: JUDITH: MOTHER: JUDITH:

How was it yesterday? Shit. No fun? No. Im going to end it. What? Im going to end it with Paulie. Its not doing me any good.. Its just not doing me any good. Oh, come on, Judith. Why? Because its not doing any fucking good. Mother starts to cry. Mom. Whats the matter now?

MOTHER: JUDITH:

Nothing. What could be the matter? Nothing. Stay here. Just stay here and tell me Mom. Shit!

MOTHER:

Dont say shit all the time. Youre so foul-mouthed. Why is it all going so wrong with us? Why does nothing go right in this place? Hey? Nothing goes right at all. What kind of a shit age is this where nothing ever comes of anything? You have everything you need. Dont you? Dont you have everything? David and you? Dont you have absolutely everything? You know, sometimes you have to actually make an effort, too, Judith. You guys just throw everything away. You have to make an effort. Not just throw everything away. Constantly throwing things away. You know, maybe the thing with Paul could turn into something. But you have to make an effort. Pull yourself together. Your Daddy and I well, we have to pull ourselves together too. Arent you all right? But you are all right, arent you? Youre strong. Youre over it. Youre strong, Judith. And you are all right. Dammit, Judith, say youre all right. Who the hell are you getting this from? From whom? Im all right, too, by the way. Yes. I am honestly so all right. You wouldnt believe it. I honestly am all right, Judith. You two just have to make an effort. Im all right, too, you know. Let me give you a hug. Mother wraps Judith in her arms.

JUDITH:

Mom, just stop crying now, OK. Youll see. Its not so bad, the thing with Paulie. For real its not. Its just that I fall in love so quick. And now Im just falling out again. Me too. Stop crying now, Mom. Hey? Its going to be OK. Mom. Stop now. You hear me. Mom. Ow! Not so tight. Hey. Mom. Youre hurting me. Judith suddenly fights the hug.

MOTHER: JUDITH:

MOTHER:

Ouch! Are you crazy? Judith runs out. Its the end of the world, Judith. The whole world. Its coming to an end. When the hand of the daughter shall be raised up against her own mother Then shall the world end.

Scene 12
Judith enters Davids room. David is not visible. JUDITH: David? She crosses to his stereo and rummages through the CDs. David appears behind her, sticking to the ceiling. Slowly, he climbs down the wall. Instinct makes Judith turn.

Very funny, David. For real. Shall I tell you something? Ive had enough. DAVID: JUDITH: Me too. David, I cant stand it any longer. They are completely out of their minds. They crazy. And sheShe pisses me off so much, I could What a load of fucking shit. Oh dont be so foul-mouthed. No. Dont be so foulmouthed, Judith. I might blow up. For real. Thats good, Judith. Thats what theyre waiting for. Theyre waiting for everything to explode. The time is ripe. More than ripe. The world waits. And I I am already ticking. I tick so loudly, sometimes I cant even hear myself think. Its so loud. David, she gave me one of her hugs again. She hugged me so hard, I You know how hard she hugged me? Because the business with Paulie makes her so fucking sad. Am I sad? David? Look at me. Am I sad? No doubt, she is also sad because Dad has to go get some coaching. Dad? Shame really. Theres no way he can get himself coached fast enough to be done before I tap into my Powers. They turn to look Im there, Im up. The time is ripe. The bomb is hot, Judith. Its been hot for so long. Im so fucking hot right now. Itll take only the smallest thing, Judith. The smallest thing. David, is there something wrong with me. I mean. Am I a reason to be sad? Judith. We were too quiet. David! Im asking you if Im a reason to be sad? They were just warm-ups, Judith. Much too quiet. We have to get loud, really loud. A giant bomb. There are networks out there. A lot of fucking networks. And all theyre waiting for, is for the bomb to go off. A sign. They just want a sign. And then the networks. And the cells. Watch how they activate. They will activate so fucking fast. No way Dad can get his coaching in before the networks and the cells activate. All we have to do is wake them up. The Sleepers. We set off the bomb, the whole world goes bang. Everywhere. Networks, Judith. I told them. I told Mom and Dad I have networks. They feel so secure. They all feel so fucking secure. If only they knew. If only they knew where danger lies. Where it lies. In their sitting rooms. She hugged me so hard, I had to Yeah. I had toHell. It was selfdefense.

DAVID:

JUDITH:

DAVID:

JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID:

JUDITH:

DAVID:

All we have to do is be loud. Real loud, Judith. They are only sleeping. For sure. They are everywhere. But they are all asleep. I know its true. Theyre only sleeping. Maybe they were tired. In front of the TV. And they nodded off. But theyre out there somewhere. And they are waiting. For us, Judith! Fuck yes! My Powers are unlocked, Judith. I am so up for myself. I am the Power. I am Spiderman! The world is coming to an end, David. The world. Its ending. Mom senses it. Let her sense it. Say farewell, Mom, to this world. Because its Global Coaching Time. We are gonna coach the whole damn world. The whole world. Its not personal. Really, its not. Theyre gonna be grateful to us. Promise. Theyre gonna be so damn grateful. Just like Paulie. Paulie is so damn grateful to me. Cos without me, hed be nothing. Nothing. I made him what he is today. All by myself. He was such a limp-dick. The worst class spokesman we ever had. Until I came along. I gave him coaching. You get me? My kind of coaching. I tied him up naked on the teachers desk. I coached him with nothing more than a roll of sticky tape. Hed be nothing without me. Naked on the teachers desk. You fuck up again, youll find yourself lying here again. You understand? He owes it all to me. Hed be nothing without me. And now its time to bid farewell to this world. And please dont take it personally. It is unfortunately a necessity. It is unfortunately a political fucking necessity. Because unfortunately the world is coming to an end. Hence the necessity. Hence the heroic avowal of our state of readiness. We two. We two heroes. Us! Pause.

JUDITH: DAVID:

JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID:

And you never told me that? What? That stuff about Paulie. Not important, really. Another Sleeper. You never told me that, David. I mean I have Powers, Judith. I have always had Powers. Paulie would be nothing without me. Pause. Get changed, Judith. Lets go. I have to go out. Theres no room in here. Lets go out, Judith. Just for a bit.

JUDITH: DAVID:

David. Not here. No. Not here. I just have to go out.

JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID:

Promise me that. Not here. Judith. I can hold myself back. It is not yet time. I just want to go out. David I can restrain myself. Not yet. Not just yet. Preparation. We still have preparations to make. Not today. I am in touch with my Powers. Get changed. I want to go out. Just for fun. Judith, get changed. Just for a bit. He pulls a Spiderman costume from a bag.

Scene 13
Darkness. A searchlight. Spiderman and Catwoman move through the night. They vanish. During which we hear the Announcer in voice-over.

ANNOUNCER:

Bearing the slogan: Spiderman we are not Asleep! hundreds of young people converged this afternoon for a peaceful demonstration in the Cathedral square. It appears the demonstration was organized at short notice by a wide spectrum of youth organizations. The goal was to distance ourselves clearly from any kind of pact involving the Superheroes according to an official statement. Speculation has been rife since the release of a press statement by Spiderman and Catwoman as to the mean of the term Sleeper, as used by the duo. The organizers of the demonstration, for their part, are clear in their interpretation of the term as an attack on the nations youth. It is a malicious falsehood to characterize our young people as Sleepers, given that they represent the most important of our national resources for the future! according to one angry young organizer. Official Church representatives also participated in the event. Cathedral rector Philip Stummvoll passed on a message of solidarity from his Grace the Archbishop, and encouraged the youths present, and I quote, to protest against the misuse for political ends of the spirit of young people and young adults on the part of the self-styled Superheroes. The Ministry of Education has signalled meanwhile its wholehearted endorsement of the concept of enhanced coaching for the younger generation. The Ministry has however indicated it regards as quite inappropriate any characterization of the current young generation as Sleepers. Spiderman we are not Asleep! was still going on in the Cathedral Square as of a few minutes ago. But now, Arts in Focus and its own Superheroes. A young woman dangles in a net spun through the air. Written on her body in large letters are the words: I am asleep. There is no sign of Spiderman or Catwoman.

Scene 14
Mother and father at the breakfast table. He reads the paper, shes buried in her detective novel and chewing her fingernails. MOTHER: Wolfgang. Can you pass the margarine, please? Thank you. Pause. FATHER: MOTHER: You want to go check on them? What for?

FATHER: MOTHER: FATHER: MOTHER: FATHER:

Well, I mean. Look at the time. Oh, come on, Wolfgang. Theyre bound to be still asleep. Maybe. They werent out or anything last night, were they? No. Well, then. Pause. So? In suspense?

MOTHER:

I am rather. Amazing suspense. Its a proper thriller. Detective fiction, it says on the cover. Id call it a thriller. Very suspenseful. You know me. I love to be scared. Enter Judith.

JUDITH: FATHER:

Morning. Morning, Judith. To Mother: See. Here she is. To Judith: Mom was getting worried about how long youd been asleep.

MOTHER: JUDITH: MOTHER: FATHER: MOTHER: JUDITH: MOTHER:

Wolfgang. I dont get worried about things like that. Coffee? Yes, please. Oh, Judith. Thats no kind of breakfast. A cigarette does not constitute breakfast. Wolfgang, say something. Thats no kind of breakfast. Yup. Judith. Whats on the schedule for today? Lot of homework? Pauls coming round today. Really? You made it up with him? Did you? Thats great, Judith. You see? You make an effort You just have to make a bit of an effort. Pull yourself together. And it works. It always works if you make an effort. Its great youve made it up, you two. Hes coming round so I can split up with him. Oh. I see. Thats how it is. Hes coming round for a break-up. OK. Fine. Pity. I mean... I think its rather fine of you. Honestly. I think its fine. Its really I mean. Thats how it should be done. A direct, face-to-face well, I mean because over the telephone everything is so impersonal. Its very fine of you, Judith.

JUDITH: MOTHER:

FATHER: DAVID: FATHER: MOTHER: JUDITH: DAVID: FATHER: DAVID: FATHER: DAVID: MOTHER: DAVID: MOTHER: DAVID:

There, you see. Here comes David, too. Morning. Morning. Morning, David. Hi. Can I have the newspaper? Hold on. Im not through with it yet. Then give me the local news section. So? What are you up to today? Judith seems to have some exciting plans. Dunno yet. Maybe Ill go to the movies. Really? The movies? What are you thinking of watching? Nothing. The usual buttheads. David Honestly Just go and see a French film, then. No. I mean the honorable members of my generation. I mean watching them. Having fun. Stuffing their faces with popcorn. Having a little fumble with each other. Oh, really, David. When did you get so cynical? That doesnt sound like you. Leave him, Doris. Its all Sound and Fury, right, David? Sound and Fury. I rather like it when a young person bangs on the table and shouts: Im not eating this! Yeah and Im the one who gets all the shit every time I dont feel like eating. Judith, your father meant something quite different. Are you going to the movies with Martin? No. Thats over. Oh dear, David. I am sorry. Honestly. What a pity. Honestly. I am sorry. Why does nothing ever come of anything? Why does nothing? Anyway. Youll see. Right, then. Well if you two have such exciting plans for the day Mom and I have a plan of our own. Weve been thinking. We thought wed make some use of the weekend, go off on an adventure. Right, Doris? What sort of adventure?

MOTHER: FATHER:

JUDITH: MOTHER: DAVID: MOTHER:

FATHER:

JUDITH:

FATHER: MOTHER: FATHER:

Your mother and I are off out of here. Yes, its rather spontaneous. And Wolfgang is so flexible. Were going to the hot springs. Its only a hop and a skip from here. Would it bother you if we stayed overnight? No. Course it wouldnt. Well get a room. Go off on an adventure. Hey, Doris? An adventure. Relax a bit. Get a bit flexible. Get a bit sexible. Judith! Honestly. Its a health spa. Oh she can see right through us, Doris. She can see through us. X-Ray eyes, she has, our Judith. You cant hide anything from her. Thats good, Judith. Youll go far. Thanks. Doris. Lets go. Adventure calls. David, Im done. All yours. He throws him the newspaper.

MOTHER: JUDITH: MOTHER: FATHER:

JUDITH: FATHER:

DAVID: FATHER: MOTHER: JUDITH: MOTHER: FATHER: MOTHER:

Theres nothing in it. Oh, well. Theres the movie listings at least. See you Sunday. Ill ring you up. Mom. All right, no, I wont ring up. But Ill take the cellphone. OK? Just in case. Doris, you cant take a cellphone into a hot spring. No. Oh well. Off we go, then. Wolfgang and I are so flexible. Im all excited, to tell the truth. Judith, keep well, OK. I do think it is a fine thing. The business with Paul. Honestly. Bye now. David. Have a good time at the movies. Thanks. The parents leave. Judith reaches for the paper.

FATHER: DAVID:

JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID:

Is there really nothing in it? No. Pity. Maybe tomorrow. Or Monday.

JUDITH: DAVID:

You think? Sure. Youll see. On Monday. The Superheroes are coming.

Scene 15
PAUL: JUDITH: PAUL: JUDITH: Judith. Hi. Hello, Paul. And? Hows you? Did David calm down again? Yes. Pause. PAUL: JUDITH: Great. And? Hows it going? Good. Pause. Paul, I think I mean Paul. Oh shit. We have to talk. I cant do this any more Paul Im sorry but PAUL: JUDITH: PAUL: Hey, come here and have a hug. Oh, Paul? Hello? I dont know why its like so Paul, Ive been thinking this over a lot, and Im sorry. But there it is Its over. Judith. Its OK. I dont mind. Really I dont mind, Judith. David and I its just political differences. Nothing more. Its not personal. It really isnt. He said so himself. And were past it now. Right? Thats how it goes in politics. You think I would let it get my private life in a No, Paul. Im saying I cant do this any more. Im ending it. And the thing with David. Im sorry about that. For real, Paul. Fuck it. I feel really very sorry for you. I had no idea he could be like that. I mean, OK like youre not supposed to do that kind of shit. You were schoolmates. But even so, Paul. This has nothing to do with that, OK? Its just Ive thought it over a lot and I have to I think it would be better if weIt isnt working, Paul. For real, it isnt. I mean. Look at us. Judith. Dont sweat it. OK? Forget it. Clean sheet. Put it to one side. Start a clean sheet. OK? Come here.

JUDITH:

PAUL:

JUDITH:

Paul, Im telling you it has nothing to do with it, that stuff about you being the class spokesman. And all the rest of it. For real. I would have ended it anyway. Definitely. Judith. Forget about David. I know him. Some people just dont change, thats all. And I was shitty to him, too. I could have stayed cool. Forget it. Paul. I am breaking up with you. Oh, come on, relax, Judith. Hey! Just relax, OK? No, Paul. Stop it. This is no good, Paul. Shit. This is no good. You cant be like this. To me. You cant do this. Dont be so nice. You hear me? Stop it, Paul. Dont be so nice. Paulie! Fuck it. Stop it. You dont understand. Paulie. Im dangerous. Im a fucking bomb. And if youre not careful, Im gonna blow up. You have to be careful, Paulie. Like totally careful. Cos everythings total with me. Its dangerous. Its fucking dangerous being around me. Im a bomb. Inside. You know? So you gotta be careful. Like totally careful. So you gotta stop now, OK? I hate myself for this shit. You have no idea how much I hate myself, Paulie. Falling in love so quick. So fucking quick. Its not good. It is for real not good. Fucking dangerous is what it is. It is so goddam fucking dangerous. Im gonna go bang. Im gonna blow up. Falling in love so quick. Its not political Paulie. Its not politically correct what I do. For real, it isnt, Paulie. I fall in love so quick.

PAUL: JUDITH: PAUL: JUDITH:

PAUL: JUDITH: PAUL:

It doesnt matter. Does it? Judith. Hey. Let me look at you, Judith. Look at me. You want to look at me? I really like looking at you. You make me so hot. He holds the back of her head and pushes her down in front of him by her head.

JUDITH: PAUL: JUDITH: PAUL: JUDITH: PAUL:

Paul, we have to talk. Hey, we are talking, Judith. Yeah, sure. But. I mean. Fuck it, Paulie. For real, Im dangerous. Like totally. I am totally dangerous. Judith, relax. Paul, I cant I cant do this. Lets talk. We are talking, Judith. Just for a bit. He pushes her head against his trouser flies. Judith undoes his zip.

JUDITH: PAUL: JUDITH:

Paul, Im gonna blow up any second. Just a for a bit. OK. Just for a bit. I really am dangerous, Paul. Like totally. Just for a bit.

Scene 16
Paul is just about to leave the house as David comes through the front door. DAVID: PAUL: DAVID: PAUL: Paulie! Hi. Hello, David. Youre coming, Im going. Yes. Lifes like that sometimes. Whatever. Yup, whatever. Pause. DAVID: PAUL: DAVID: PAUL: Anyway. Well see each other again, I know. Im sorry for you, Paulie. Really and truly. See you around. And Im really sorry. But, anyway Hey, David. Forget it. Clean sheet. Well, anyway. Judith she.. I mean Im sorry. Anyway. Bye. David, I think maybe theres a misunderstanding here. Whatever. But youre right. People go their separate ways sometimes. But its not a problem for me. Really not at all. I can put it to one side. Thats right. Sometimes people go their separate ways. And you and Judith well you can still Anyway. David, youve misunderstood. Like completely. Im not talking about Judith. OK. Then youre talking about? Oh come on, David, dont mess about. You know quite well what Im talking about. Right? You know all right. Its about something quite different with you and me. Its not about Judith.

DAVID: PAUL: DAVID: PAUL:

DAVID:

About what? Hey? Paulie? Say it. About what? Paulie. Go ahead and say it. If its not about Judith. Whats it about, then? Surely not about the two of us? No. Why? Why should it be about the two of us? Hey? Why? Sure people go their separate ways sometimes. Isnt that right? Its a normal thing. And if you can put it all to one side like that. Thats fantastically professional of you. The way you can put it all to one side. Respect, Paulie. Really and truly. Nice coaching. Respect. Right, yeah, ways? People just go separate ones. Its no big deal. Right? That our ways should.. Our ways, Paulie! I know, David. Thats the way it is. A bummer. No one could have known. Happens like that sometimes. Sometimes people go their separate ways. I didnt know it was still so important to you. To me? No way, Paulie. I dont have a problem with it. No way. Why should I? Its perfectly normal, after all. Lifes like that. And it wasnt a personal thing, anyway. Naturally not. It wasnt personal. Not in the least. A matter of political points of view. And I mean to say we were young. People change. Right? People change. Politically. And some people change personally. Yes, David. Sadly. Dont come with your fucking sadly. Like fuck youre sad. Career boy. Whats fucking sad about that. Hey? What? We were a team, Paulie. You and me. A fantastic team! Werent we? You with your business studies. Me with my philosophy. You examining structures. From the inside. My from the outside. You inside. Me outside. A team. The two of us. And then we go and cut the bastards balls off. Inside and out. Right? Wasnt that the plan? Paulie? Wasnt that the plan? Our plan. A couple of heroes. Us. We two heroes. Unbalance the system. Get the powers we need and unbalance the system. Cut their balls off. But like right off. Combine our powers knock-on effects, Paulie. Synergies. Fucking hot shit synergies. The two of us. A couple of bombs, arming each other. That was the plan, wasnt it? Paulie. Say it. Hey? The two of us. That was the plan. Take action now. Before it really hurts. Because in twenty years time Thats why someones gotta do it now. Now. The two of us. Our plan. Yup. That was the plan, David. Exactly right. Sadly a bit abstract, though. Cut the balls off the system. A little bit abstract, sadly. Abstract? What about our first operation? Was that abstract, too? Huh? No. It wasnt. It was just extreme. And the stuff you do nowadays? Huh? What is that shit? Its legal. At least its legal.

PAUL:

DAVID:

PAUL: DAVID:

PAUL: DAVID: PAUL: DAVID: PAUL:

DAVID: PAUL:

Oh right. They taught you that OK, then. They really taught you. Yes, they did. You were always a smart one, you were. We should have played it the other way around, David. With you doing the business studies. You. Not me. I bet you, youd sound just like me today. Youd be like me. Exactly the same. So I was lucky. Obviously. Yeah, right. Everythings fine with you, isnt it? Everythings fucking perfect with you. You are the future. Arent you? You are our future. People like you. A solid base. You dont really believe that, do you? Paulie! How long do you think its going to last? Huh? How long? What about you, then? Are you the future? Have you even got one? Hey? Oh, then we do have something in common after all, Paulie. Each in his own way has no future. We are both impotent. Great. And even so, people still go their separate ways. Yup. Even so. Pause. David, you know, you were a big help to me. You showed me my powers.

DAVID: PAUL: DAVID:

PAUL: DAVID:

PAUL:

DAVID: PAUL: DAVID: PAUL: DAVID: PAUL: DAVID: PAUL:

Im the guy who made you, Paulie. Yup. You could put it that way. And Im grateful to you for it. So now youre taking the piss. No, David. Im just saying thank you. Paulie. Dont try it on with me, now. Just be careful, Paulie. Im just being polite, David. Im saying thank you. And by the way, you still looking fucking great. See you, David. Paulie. Stay. The stuff you showed me. Really, David. Thank you. My Powers. Rage. Licking blood, David. I like that. I really like that. David hits Paul, and Pauls mouth begins to bleed. Ive licked blood. Ive licked your sister, too. I like that.

Scene 17
David enters Judiths room dressed as Spiderman. He holds the face mask for the costume in his hand. DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: Judith. David. David, what? Get changed. A moments pause. JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: David Get changed, I said. David, I dont feel like it today. I dont feel so hot. OK. Not today. Im telling you to get changed. Its time, Judith. Dont you feel it. The world. And all its woes. It needs us. Now. Get changed. Today is the end of the world. Judith. Pause. Judith. Be Catwoman. Today. The bomb is gonna blow up. You understand. The bomb. Youre ready for this, right? Youre so fucking ready. You scratched Paulies eyes out, right? And now the world is calling. Calling for Catwoman. Calling for Spiderman. For the two of us. Two superheroes. Ive tapped into my Powers. Im hot. Ready to explode. And its today the bomb goes up. Today, a geysers gonna go up. And another. And another. Today is the end of the world for Mom and Dad. The heavens shall fall into the sea. The sun shall crumble. Fire shall rain from the sky. Today water shall take fire. The hot springs shall take fire. The world shall end. For Mom and Dad today is the end of the world. And there, above the horizon, two new planets shall rise. Two planets. Titans. The two of us. Us two Superheroes. Us. He gets out her Catwoman costume. You have to get changed, Judith, dammit. Take off your clothes. Take off Judith. Take that fucking shit Judith right off. You have to take it all off. Take off the person. Like me, Judith. I took off everything. Stripped bare. Outside of time. Eternal. And naked. Under my costume. David undressed. He dons the Spiderman mask. Judith slips on her Catwoman costume in silence. JUDITH: David. I I feel so transparent. Can Spiderman even see me? Judith puts on her mask.

DAVID: JUDITH:

I can see Catwoman. Really. Catwoman. Thats good. Then everythings gonna be fine. Im fine. Catwoman is fine. Fucking fine. So fine. So fucking fine Judith cant even imagine it. She cant. That fucking Judith. So transparent. She has no fucking idea. Im fine. The woman cat is ready. Then lets go. Spiderman opens the window, jumps onto the window-sill and steps out into the night. Catwoman follows.

DAVID:

Scene 18
Darkness. The Announcer in voice-over. ANNOUNCER: We interrupt this program to bring you a news bulletin. News is coming in of a series of detonations, some time shortly after eight pm, at renowned spa resort The Health Temple, in Bad Weikersdorf. The grounds of the hotel have reportedly suffered extensive damage, as have the adjacent Thermal Experience baths. Initial estimates put the damage at several millions. Emergency services in the area continue their efforts to dig out survivors. Just in the past few minutes, a specially flown in Alpine rescue avalanche dog team had gone into action in a bid to speed the discovery of buried spa guests. Current estimates put the toll of the seriously injured at more than one hundred and fifty. There is as yet no information on the number of dead, if any. Voice-over: Stop. I said stop. Lights up. Spiderman and Catwoman are standing in the living room. Spiderman is holding back Catwoman by the arm. Paul lies inert and naked on the coffee table, secured to the table by sticky tape. Catwoman is trying to get to him.

DAVID:

JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: ANNOUNCER: JUDITH: ANNOUNCER: DAVID: JUDITH: ANNOUNCER:

Take your paws off. The woman cat takes what she wants. Try it, then. Ill scratch your eyes out. Hes mine. According to eyewitnesses, the nations entire spa region is in danger of sinking into chaos. Let go. One German holidaymaker, caught relaxing in a sulfur pool at the precise moment of the explosions, tells us how the sky rained fire and ash. He really let himself go. Let go of me. Indeed, it was only by means a well-performed dolphin-style dive into the neighboring mineral bath that she was able to evade the deadly shards from the shattered glass dome overhead. Please. Take him. I give him to you. Once a mouser, always a mouser. Am I right? According to the Department of Homeland Security links between the explosions and international terrorist organizations are unlikely. Am I right? An emergency hotline is available for relatives of hotel guests. Forgotten already? Heroes are always lonely. The toll-free number to call: 0800-8383181. Meanwhile for security reasons, police have begun the immediate evacuation of all neighboring spa resorts. And while the German foreign ministry is reportedly mulling the publication of an official travel warning, the tourist authorities back home are working on plans to move spa guests to resorts in the neighboring Alps. Ample facilities are available to accommodate disappointed spa-goers in comparable health and fitness programs. So says the press spokesman for the spa region.

DAVID: ANNOUNCER: DAVID: ANNOUNCER: DAVID: ANNOUNCER:

DAVID:

Last night. That was just symbolic. A prelude. Only the prelude. Now were really going to get started. Old people scare so easily. But from now on. From now on were going after the young as well. Starting tomorrow. Were going after the Paulies. He lets her go. He who sleeps today shall burn tomorrow. Our dear friends.

Catwoman crosses to Paul. ANNOUNCER: JUDITH: ANNOUNCER: JUDITH: ANNOUNCER: JUDITH: Rest assured, all of you at home The world is coming to an end. The World Tonight will be keeping you right up to date as usual. When the hand of the daughter shall be raised up against her own mother .. Then shall the world end. Well be back at five past midnight for an in-depth look at the background to this catastrophe. Our guest tonight: police Superintendent Jim Wolf. Paul. Wake up. Look at me, Paul. I love you. Catwoman removes her mask. ANNOUNCER: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: JUDITH: DAVID: ANNOUNCER: JUDITH: We look forward to hearing his analysis of what must, after all, be the largest bomb attack on this country since the end of the War. I love you, Paulie. Put that back on! Paulie. Im gonna blow up. I fall in love so quick. Im a bomb, you know. Put it on. Tomorrows the day. Our friends are going up. Im gonna blow up. Im gonna blow up, Paulie. I fall in love so quick. Like a bomb. Everything is going to burn. The cinemas. The malls. The sushi bars. The After Work clubs. The whole scene is going to burn tomorrow. Meanwhile you can keep yourselves up to date with the latest from our website or on teletext. David David. Im going all transparent. I Im really exploding. I can feel it. Im gonna blow up, David. Im gonna explode. Spiderman runs towards her. DAVID: Judith! She pulls his mask from his face. JUDITH: David. Shit! Pause. Im afraid. Im gonna blow up. Im exploding. Lights down.

ANNOUNCER:

Viewers no doubt will be asking themselves, after such shocking news, what has become of our much-heralded Superheroes. Well however that may be its always nicest in the bath. Have a pleasant evening. Relax, and dont forget to join us again. Good night. A bomb explodes. Searchlights across the stage. David, Judith and Paul have vanished. A pop group sings a song about endings, Davids head drifts through the Universe. And the world ends.

END