Guide Idiots Tantra

by ur !
udy kurlansky
A earson LducaLlon Company
1anLrlc Sex
1o all Lhose who are worklng Loward more love and peace Lhank you
CopyrlghL 2002 by ur !udy kurlansky
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damages resulLlng from Lhe use of lnformaLlon conLalned hereln lor lnformaLlon address
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of Lhe use and appllcaLlon of any of Lhe conLenLs of Lhls book
ubllsher
Marle 8uLlerknlghL
roducL Manager
hll klLchel
Managlng LdlLor
!ennlfer Chlsholm
AcqulslLlons LdlLor
Mlke Sanders
uevelopmenL LdlLor
Lynn norLhrup
roducLlon LdlLor
8llly llelds
Copy LdlLor
8achel Lopez
lllusLraLor
Prana !anLo
!ody Schaeffer
Cover ueslgners
Mlke lreeland
kevln Spear
8ook ueslgners
ScoLL Cook and Amy Adams of ueslgnLab
lndexer
8rad Perrlman
LayouL/roofreadlng
SveLlana uomlnguez
Mary PunL
Mlchelle MlLchell
ConLenLs aL a Clance
arL 1 An lnLroducLlon Lo 1anLrlc Sex
1he SplrlLual aLh Lo Sacred Love 1
1 WhaL ls 1anLrlc Sex? 3
1anLra and LanLrlc sex as a paLhway Lo love sacred sex
LransformaLlon heallng and bllss Pow Lhe WesL ls revlvlng
and embraclng anclenL LasLern Lechnlques 1he beneflLs
of LanLrlc sex A LesL of readlness for LanLrlc sex
2 1he 8aslcs ?es ?ln ?ang ?onl and ?ab ?um 19
Sex as energy noL acLlvlLy now how do you acLlvaLe and
use lL? Achlevlng balance and unlon of opposlLes uo opposlLes
aLLracL? 1he love poslLlon of yab yum new Lerms
for sex LhaL honor your love
3 Splnnlng ?our Wheels and 8reaLhlng Lo LcsLasy 29
new ways Lo breaLhe your way Lo bllss Pow energy cenLers
ln your body brlng you Lo LransformaLlon CreaLlng
Lhe lnner fluLe and uslng your Lhlrd eye Symbols and
sounds LhaL help your pracLlce
4 Awaken and Worshlp Lhe Cod and Coddess ln ?ou 43
?ou are a dlvlne belng! CeLLlng Lo know Lhe anclenL delLles
and flndlng Lhe god and goddess ln you and your parLner
arL 2 CeLLlng SLarLed ln Sacred Sex 39
3 rep ?our 8ody 1emple of Love 61
?our body as your Lemple of love learnlng Lo love lL geLLlng
Lo know lL and use lL for hlgher lovlng 1he mlrror exerclse
and love muscle workouLs A LesL of your splne
6 Amp up or uamp uown ?our Sexual Lnergy 73
ConLrolllng your energy Lo relax or acLlvaLe 1echnlques Lo
help you do LhaL Lhe sacrum Lap Lhe chakra Lhump
uanclng up an energy sLorm and geLLlng your pelvls
movlng
7 SeLLlng Lhe SLage for ?our 1anLrlc nlghLs of leasure 81
Maklng Llme for lovemaklng and preparlng Lhe sacred
space for your LanLrlc nlghLs of pleasure Cleanslng Lhe
LanLrlc way 8lLuals Lo sancLlfy your love Lemple uedlcaLlng
your lovemaklng and dresslng Lhe god/goddess way
SeLLlng your lnLenLlons Lo geL ready for Lhe besL nlghLs ever
Lo come
vl
1he CompleLe ldloL's Culde Lo 1anLrlc Sex
8 racLlces for 8eloveds Lo 8each 8llss 93
WhaL ls bllss? Spark your love connecLlon wlLh slmple
Lechnlques llke Lhe eye lock and hearL Lap SLlmulaLlng
your senses and uslng Lhem Lo Lurn you and your parLner
on
9 8reaklng 1hrough 8locks Lo 8llss 107
SoluLlons Lo common problems LhaL geL ln Lhe way
Maklng Llme for love Lhrough 10mlnuLe connecLs and Lhe
mornlng blesslng Solvlng anger baLLles over conLrol and
fears of separaLlon LeLLlng go of pasL abuse Lhrough emoLlonal
release Seven ways Lo balance male and female energles
1ake Lhe Sex 8elaLlons 8evlew
arL 3 Maklng Ma[or rogress on Lhe aLh Lo LcsLasy 119
10 Clvlng Per Lhe 8esL nlghLs Lver 121
1he value of Laklng Lurns Pow Lo make her nlghL dlfferenL
from all oLher nlghLs 1he uaLe CheckllsL 8oudolr baslcs
Lo please her Slx promlses Lo make Lo your Coddess
CeLLlng her Lo relax and movlng her energy When love
and love llquld flows WhaL women wanL mosL
11 Clvlng Plm Lhe 8esL nlghLs Lver 133
A checkllsL Lo prepare for hls besL nlghLs ever 1he four 8's
Lo please hlm relax relleve reassure reward WhaL Lo do
and say on Lhe flrsL nlghL and beyond Pelplng hlm surrender
Lo love and pleasure SecreLs Lo arouse hls passlon
wlLh exclLlng ways Lo sLlmulaLe hls llngam and Cod spoLs
12 Make Lovemaklng LasL and LasL and LasL 143
Pow long ls a man supposed Lo lasL? 1esL hls and her reacLlons
Lo lovemaklng lengLh MyLhs abouL lasLlng longer
1he keys Lo e[aculaLlon conLrol Pow Lhe parLner helps
13 A new vlew of Love Sex and Crgasm 1he 8lg 11C 139
1he new focus on consclous love Approachlng sex Lhe
sexual response cycle and orgasm ln a new way ulfferenL
klnds of orgasm 1he power of Lhe 11C Lhe LanLrlc LransformaLlve
orgasm Pow Lo connecL sex energy Lo love energy
1he oooahh paLh Lo passlon and Lhe LoLal body
orgasm cosmorgasm and megaorgasm SpoLs Lo feel Lhe
blg C Crgasmlc waves LhaL keep on comlng
14 CeLLlng llL 1ogeLher for 1anLrlc Sex 171
LxclLlng new rouLlnes for physlcal acLlvlLles Lo do LogeLher
?oga poses Lo help your love pracLlce 1he new Lrendand
valueof belly danclng for men and women Pow lovemaklng
ls a workouL 1he beneflLs of a new Lechnlque of
?ogaboxlng
vll
ConLenLs
arL 4 Colng ueeper More Love and 8eLLer Sex
1han ?ou Lver lmaglned 183
13 Make lL !ulcy wlLh Maglc and lay 187
Cames lovers can share lun ways Lo en[oy connecLlng
uanclng for and wlLh each oLher 1oys and glfLs ln sacred
lovlng Pow Lo achleve sex maglc ln lovemaklng
16 Advanced 1anLrlc Lovemaklng 1echnlques 201
WhaL makes a Lechnlque advanced? An exerclse for Llmeless
love 1he malLhuna rlLual and kundallnl snake
dance Advanced yoga poses lovemaklng poslLlons and
new erogenous zones Cral pleasure brlnglng ln dlvlne energy
and Lunlng ln Lo vlbes LhaL creaLe more lnLlmacy
17 Sexual Peallng Lo SeL ?ou lree 213
1he speclal Lechnlques of sexual heallng Lo heal your
hurLs Lo rebulld LrusL and release your love and [oy
lnsLrucLlons for Lhe healer and Lhe recelver WhaL happens
ln a heallng Pow you Loo can be healed
18 Sex Song and vldeoLape 229
1he value of sLlmulaLlng eyes and ears ln sacred sex Cus
and vldeos LhaL complemenL your LanLrlc mood 8ecommendaLlons
Lo help you on your paLh
arL 3 uaLlng and MaLlng 1anLra SLyle 241
19 Slngles Sex and 1anLra 243
?ou don'L need a parLner Lo follow Lhe LanLrlc paLh Lo
bllss ?ou are Lhe beloved Pow Lo Lake yourself on a
LanLrlc daLe 1he search for Mr/Ms 8lghL LanLra sLyle
Who ls Lhe perfecL LanLrlc parLner? unusual coupllngs
LhaL really work Where Lo go Lo flnd a LanLrlc maLch and
how Lo brlnglng ln your soul maLe
20 1ylng Lhe knoL 1anLra SLyle 237
1he unlque rlLuals ln marrlage ceremonles LanLrlc sLyle
WhaL LanLrlc brldes and grooms wear Who comes whaL
Lhey say ln Lhelr vows and prlesLs and prlesLesses who
preslde uedlcaLlons Lo each oLher Speclal parLlclpaLlon of
Lhe guesLs ldeas LhaL you can use
21 When Pe 8eslsLs or She SLrays 271
WhaL Lo do when you are enLhused abouL Lhls LanLrlc
paLh buL your parLner doesn'L share your lnLeresL
uecldlng whaL's besL for you and your relaLlonshlp
undersLandlng and deallng wlLh affalrs Lhe LanLrlc way
1he energy boosLer and oLher ways Lo survlve affalrs and
dlfferences and geL back on a lovlng Lrack
arL 6 1anLra for Lverybody ln Lhe new Mlllennlum 281
22 A LlfeLlme of 1anLra Learnlng Lo Love aL All Ages 283
Pow LanLra leads Lo longer llfe 1he value of LanLra for all
ages Pow LanLra ls helpful ln mld llfe and menopause
Pow college klds and Leens are Laklng Lo LanLra 1he Lechnlques
of LanLra Lo ralse healLhler klds and how LanLrlc
prlnclples can be lnLegraLed lnLo a school sysLem
23 LlfesLyles and SlLuaLlons 1anLra for All 8elaLlonshlps 293
1he pros and cons of cyberLanLra Pow a LanLrlc llfesLyle
works regardless of your slLuaLlon or relaLlonshlp sLaLus
1he new LanLrlc sex workshops for gay men 1he value of
LanLrlc sex ln case of dlsablllLy Peallng relaLlonshlps wlLh
parenLs and famllles
24 Whlch aLh ls 8lghL for ?ou? 303
Who's Leachlng whaL? Maklng sense of Lhe varlous LanLra
LradlLlons 1he noLed conLemporary Leachers and Lhe lmporLance
of havlng a gulde or Leacher CuesLlons Lo ask
abouL a workshop and ways Lo keep your LanLrlc pracLlce
golng 8eLreaLs gaLherlngs and Lhe new Lrend of exoLlc
escapes
23 A Peallng lorce for now and Lhe luLure 319
1he heallng force of LanLrlc sex ln raclal Lenslons generaLlonal
Lenslons Leen sex abuse and drug use Pow you
are noL alone creaLlng LanLrlc communlLy and famlly
new hope Lo help heal Lhe world
Appendlxes
A Clossary 327
8 Workshops Web SlLes 1eachers and 1anLra
CommunlLles 333
C 1anLrlc 1ools 343
lndex 333
ConLenLs
arL 1 An lnLroducLlon Lo 1anLrlc Sex
1he SplrlLual aLh Lo Sacred Love 1
1 WhaL ls 1anLrlc Sex? 3
WhaL ls 1anLra? 4
Sacred Sex Lhe 1anLrlc Way 4
Pow 1anLrlc Sex lrees ?our Mlnd 8ody and Soul 3
1anLrlc Sex as Lhe aLh Lo Peallng 6
1anLrlc Sex as Maglc 6
A owerful Chemlcal CockLall Lo 8llss 6
llnd and lollow Lhe aLhways of Lnergy 7
Pow Lhe WesL 8evlved LasLern 1anLrlc Sex racLlces 7
Sacred Sex 10
MyLhs AbouL 1anLra and 1anLrlc Sex 11
Why 1anLrlc Sex now? 12
1welve 8eneflLs of 1anLrlc Sex racLlces 13
Are ?ou 8eady for 1anLra? 13
1he 1en ledges of Lhe 1anLrlc Sex aLh 16
2 1he 8aslcs ?es ?ln ?ang ?onl and ?ab ?um 19
?ln and ?ang WhaL ls Male and WhaL ls lemale? 20
1he Clrcle of Coupled Consclousness 20
Shlva and ShakLl 21
CeLLlng ln 1ouch wlLh CpposlLes 22
Achlevlng 8alance and unlon of CpposlLes 22
oslLlon ?ourselves for Love ln ?ab ?um 23
Sex as LnergynoL AcLlvlLy 24
My arLner My 8eloved 24
WhaL uo ?ou Call ?our Sex Crgans? 1he new 1erms
for ?onl and Llngam 23
A new vlew of ueslre 26
Lmpowered Lo Say ?es" or no" 26
1aklng Care of ?our 8ody 1emple 27
x
3 Splnnlng ?our Wheels and 8reaLhlng Lo LcsLasy 29
1he lmporLance of ?our 8reaLh 29
Why We uon'L 8reaLhe CorrecLly 30
1he Chakra Wheels 31
8reaLhe 1hrough Lhe Chakras 33
1he 1hlrd Lye as Wlndow Lo Lhe Soul 37
Maklng All Lhe ConnecLlons from Coccyx Lo Crown 37
?our lnner Smlle 38
8e 8oLh arLlclpanL and Cbserver 39
ManLras 39
?anLras 39
Mandalas 40
4 Awaken and Worshlp Lhe Cod and Coddess
ln ?ou 43
WhaL ls Cod/Coddess"? 44
lnLegraLe All ?our 8oles 44
Seelng 8eyond Lhe Superflclal 43
1he lmporLance of Worshlpplng Lach CLher 46
Clearlng up Confuslon AbouL Cods and Coddesses 46
CeLLlng Lo know Lhe AnclenL Coddesses 46
Ma[or and Wellknown Coddesses 46
CLher Coddesses Around Lhe World 49
Cods from ulfferenL CulLures 31
Modernuay Cod/Coddess lcons 33
Cods and 1helr Coddess CounLerparLs 33
1he Lssence of Lhe Cod/Coddesses WlLhln ?ou 34
uslng uelLles ln ?our Sex racLlce 33
lesLlvals and CLher Cod/Coddess CaLherlngs 33
lerLlllLy lesLlvals ln !apan 33
8urnlng Man lesLlval ln nevada 36
Coddess CaLherlngs 36
1emples 37
arL 2 CeLLlng SLarLed ln Sacred Sex 39
3 rep ?our 8ody 1emple of Love 61
?our 8ody as Lhe 8rldge Lo 8llss 61
8ulldlng 8ody Love 1hrough Lhe Looklng Class 62
uescrlbe ?our Sexual arLs lnslde and CuL 63
xl
ConLenLs
lf ?our enls or ?onl Could 1alk 64
Co on a CenlLal LxploraLlon 64
1he 1wo Colors of 1anLra Merglng Lhe Sexual and
Lhe hyslcal 63
1he ?oga ConnecLlon 66
Some Slmple ?oga MovemenLs 66
Pold lL 1hese Are Called 8andhas 66
Love Muscle Lxerclses for Men and Women 68
lollow a Consclous WorkouL 68
1he Splnal 1ap 69
lood for 1houghL ?ou Are WhaL ?ou LaL 70
6 Amp up or uamp uown ?our Sexual Lnergy 73
Ways Lo Calm uown 74
Alr ?oga as a SLress 8educer 74
Amplng up for Cood Lovlng 73
ConLrol ?our 8reaLhlng 73
racLlce Lhe Sacrum 1ap 73
uo Lhe Chakra 1hump 76
racLlce SLreamlng 76
uance up an Lnergy SLorm 76
CeL LhaL elvls Movlng! 77
lanLaslze 78
LeL ?ourself Co! 78
uo Lhe ShakLl Shake" 78
1ake Lama 8reaLhs 79
Ask ?our arLner for Pelp 80
7 SeLLlng Lhe SLage for ?our 1anLrlc nlghLs
of leasure 81
Maklng 1lme Lnough for Love 82
1he Consclous Cleanup 82
1he 1anLrlc 8aLhlng 8lLual 84
Cod and Coddess uress up 86
?our ldeal 8omanLlc SeLLlng 87
repare ?our Sacred Lovemaklng Space 88
Change ?our SeLLlng 89
Muslc Lo Make Love 8y 89
8ulldlng an AlLar 90
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Ponorlng 8lLuals Lo SancLlfy ?our Space 90
CuleL Lhe Mlnd 92
SeL ?our lnLenLlon 1ogeLher 92
Colng CuL on ?our 1anLra uaLe 93
8 racLlces for 8eloveds Lo 8each 8llss 93
WhaL ls 8llss? 93
Synchronlzlng ?our Lnergy 96
Look lnLo My Lyes Lye Cazlng 97
1he PearL Pold 98
1he arLner asslon od 99
SLlmulaLlng Lhe Senses 99
Call lL Sacred llndlng ?our 1anLrlc Love 1rlggers 102
Sex ln Lhe llow Lane 102
Advanced 8ody LxploraLlon 103
Per ?onl Show" for Plm 103
Pls Love Arrow Show" for Per 103
Maklng Sacred WaLer Maglc 104
SLaylng ln 8llss 1he AfLerplay 104
9 8reaklng 1hrough 8locks Lo 8llss 107
When 8lg LmoLlons 8ursL lorLh 108
Maklng 1lme for Lach CLher 109
Couple's Mornlng 8lesslng 109
1he 1enMlnuLe ConnecL 109
ulffuslng ?our Anger 110
Cvercomlng leellngs of SeparaLlon 111
8alanclng ?our Male and lemale Lnergles 111
1he Sexual 8elaLlons 8evlew 111
Seven Ways Lo 8alance Sexual Lnergy 113
lrusLraLlon Cver Who's on 1op 113
CeLLlng asL uesperaLlon and ALLachmenL 113
urglng anlc and Cbsesslons 116
More Ways Lo Clear 8locks 117
xlll
ConLenLs
arL 3 Maklng Ma[or rogress on Lhe aLh
Lo LcsLacy 119
10 Clvlng Per Lhe 8esL nlghLs Lver 121
1he value of 1aklng 1urns aL leasure 122
WhaL uo Women 8eally WanL? 122
SLep 1 SeL ?our lnLenLlon 122
SLep 2 8emlnd ?ourself 1haL 1hls ls Per nlghL 123
SLep 3 8e repared Lo Serve ?our Coddess 123
SLep 4 lace ?our lears 123
SLep 3 ueclde Pow ?ou Wlll Call Cn Per 123
8oudolr 8aslcs 124
nlghL of leasure 1 romlses Lo Lhe Coddess
ln Lhe leasure alace 123
8elaxlng Per 123
nlghL of leasure 2 CeLLlng Closer 127
1he 8esoluLlon hase 129
nlghL of leasure 3 When Love and Love Llquld llow 129
1he Cne 1hlng Women need MosL 131
1he Cne 1hlng Women WanL MosL 131
11 Clvlng Plm Lhe 8esL nlghLs Lver 133
nlghL 1 1aklng ?our Man lnLo 1anLrlc 8llss 134
reparlng Plm for leasure 134
Leadlng Plm Lo Lhe 1anLrlc Love 1emple 133
reparlng Plm for Pls nlghL of Love 133
SLep l uL Plm aL Lase 133
SLep 2 8aLhe Plm 136
SLep 3 LnLer Lhe Love 1emple 136
SLep 4 romlse Plm leasure 136
1he 1anLrlc Shlva Massage a 1lme Lo Surrender 137
Langulshlng Cver Pls Llngam 138
1he Second leasure nlghL 139
A varlaLlon on Massage 140
lnclude More Llngam SLrokes When leasurlng 140
leaslng Pls Cod SpoLs 141
8ulldlng Pls Sexual Charge 141
1he SecreL Lo Movlng Pls Lnergy 142
xlv
1he 1hlrd nlghL of leasure 143
LnLerlng Pls Sacred Space 143
Lxplorlng and LxclLlng Pls Cod SpoL 143
12 Make Lovemaklng LasL and LasL and LasL 143
Pow Long ls Pe Supposed Lo LasL? 146
When lL's All Cver 1oo lasL 146
Per 8eacLlon Lo 1hreeMlnuLe Sex 146
Pls 8eacLlon Lo 1hreeMlnuLe Sex 147
Why Men Come So lasL 149
no LxpecLaLlons lease! 149
L[aculaLlon and Crgasm Are ulfferenL 130
1he SLages of Lhe Male Sexual 8esponse Cycle 131
1radlLlonal ConLrol 1acLlcs 131
Seallng Lhe enls" or Sexual kung lu 132
1anLrlc Sex versus CLher MeLhods of rolonglng
Lovemaklng 133
1he 1ransmuLaLlon 8reaLh 134
1lps on Pow She Can Pelp 133
lf Pe L[aculaLes 8efore She ls 8eady 136
13 A new vlew of Love Sex and Crgasm
1he 8lg 11C 139
WhaL's Love CoL Lo uo wlLh lL? 160
A new vlew of Crgasm and Lhe Sexual
8esponse Cycle 160
1he Cosmorgasm 162
1he MegaCrgasm 162
1he Clearlng Crgasm 162
8eachlng MulLlple and SlmulLaneous Crgasms 163
1he 1anLrlc Wave 163
1he SLock MarkeL Crgasm 164
Pow Lo Pave Lhe 8lg 11C 164
1aklng Sex urlve Lo a new Level 163
1he Shlva ShakLl Mudra 163
varlaLlons on Lhe Shlva ShakLl Mudra 163
ConnecLlng Lhe Sexual Lnergy Lo CLher Lnergy
CenLers 166
uslng MovemenLs Lo Send Sexual Lnergy 166
uslng Sound Lo 1ransmuLe Muslc Lnergy 166
xv
ConLenLs
Where uo ?ou leel Lhe 8lg C? AlphabeL Crgasms 169
1he C SpoL 169
1he x SpoL 169
1he AlL Zone 169
1he lL Zone 169
1he Anywhereln?our8ody Crgasm 170
14 CeLLlng llL 1ogeLher for 1anLrlc Sex 171
1he lmporLance of hyslcal AcLlvlLy 1ogeLher 171
1he Love Muscle Lxerclses for Lhe Man and
Lhe Woman 172
arLner elvlc 1hrusLs 172
l Could Pave uanced All nlghL 173
An LlghLSLep WhlLe 1anLra 1wosome 8ouLlne 173
Couple ConnecL 174
Clrcllng Couple CelebraLlon 173
SquaLLoSLand SupporL 173
arLner elvls ress 176
uangllng uuos 176
1he Couple Cobras 178
Lovers 1able 178
Couple Cuddle 179
8edroom 8odybulldlng 179
?ogaboxlng 181
arL 4 Colng ueeper More Love and 8eLLer
Sex 1han ?ou Lver lmaglned 183
13 Make lL !ulcy wlLh Maglc and lay 187
1he SplrlL of lay 188
Pow Much !ulce ls 1here? 188
1he lmporLance of lay ln Sex 188
AfflrmaLlons AbouL !oyful Sexual unlon 188
Laugh ?our Way Lo 8eLLer PealLh 189
uanclng for Lach CLher 189
Mlrror Mlrror 190
1he Pand uance 191
uslng ?our 8ody arLs 191
8elly uanclng 192
xvl
LcsLaLlc uance 192
1he 1emple uance 193
leasLlng on ?our Love 193
Cames Lovers lay 194
CreaLlng Sex Maglc 1hrough 1anLrlc Sex 196
1oys for 1anLrlc lay 197
ClfLs from Lhe PearL 199
Where Lo llnd 1anLrlc Love 1oys and ClfLs 200
16 Advanced 1anLrlc Lovemaklng 1echnlques 201
WhaL Makes a racLlce Advanced"? 201
A Slow 8lde lnLo 1lmeless Love 202
1he Maglcal MalLhuna Love 8lLual 203
1he Snake uance 203
Advanced WhlLe 1anLra 1wosome 204
Advanced asslon oslLlons and AcLs 206
Lnflamlng of Lhe uragon Coddess 207
1he kabazzah 208
1he lull SLop 208
1he 1wo new Lrogenous Zones 208
1ongue lu 209
Mudras 209
Advanced vlsuallzaLlon ln 1anLrlc Sex 209
Advanced 1unlng ln ?ou 1oo Can 8e sychlc! 210
LlghL SLeps ln uelLy ?oga 210
8ase Chakra leasurlng 211
Advanced Alds ln 1anLrlc lay 212
LnLerlng Lhe 1lme and Space Machlne 213
asL Llves ConnecLed Lo Cod/Coddess 213
AsLral ro[ecLlon 213
17 Sexual Peallng Lo SeL ?ou lree 213
WhaL ls a Sexual Peallng? 216
Who Can 8e a Pealer? 216
WhaL Pappens ln a Peallng 217
Peallng Lhe Coddess 217
When Lhe Coddess Love Llquld llows 219
Peallng Lhe Cod 219
Cvercomlng Lhe 1wo Ma[or Purdles ln Pls Peallng 219
lnsLrucLlons for Pls Pealer 220
xvll
ConLenLs
Peallng Lhe aln of Abuse 221
Pandllng LmoLlons ln a Peallng 222
8ules for Lhe Pealer 222
8ules for Lhe 8ecelver 224
AL Lhe Lnd of a Sesslon 224
Are Peallngs LffecLlve? 226
18 Sex Song and vldeoLape 229
1anLrlc Muslc 229
WhaL Makes 1anLrlc Muslc Speclal? 231
LeL Lhe Muslc llow 1hrough ?ou 232
Soundlng Chakras 232
ChanLs 1haL Charge ?our ConnecLlon 233
1anLrlc vldeos 1haL 1anLallze as Well as 1each 234
1he kama SuLra Serles vldeos wlLh a 1anLrlc 1wlsL 233
Ponorlng Lhe Coddess on vldeo 236
CLher vldeos 236
1anLra8elaLed WorkouLs Lo WaLch 237
8elaLed vldeos on Sex 237
1anLra on 8adlo 1v Lhe Sllver Screen and
Lhe lnLerneL 238
arL 3 uaLlng and MaLlng 1anLra SLyle 241
19 Slngles Sex and 1anLra 243
?ou Are Lhe 8eloved 244
MeeLlng ?our MaLch 243
Consclous lllrLlng 243
Who ls Mr or Ms 8lghL? 246
1he 8eloved Shows up ln Surprlse lorm lf Cnly
for now 247
Culz Are ?ou 8eady for ?our 1rue 1anLrlc Sex arLner? 248
Senslng noL Scorlng 249
llndlng ?our Soul MaLe on Lhe 1anLrlc aLh 249
CeLLlng 8eady for Lhe 8eloved 231
8rlnglng ln Lhe 8eloved 231
Where Lo Co 232
1wo Love Lessons ?ou Wlsh ?ou'd Learned When
?ou Were ?oung 233
Safe Sex When racLlclng 1anLra 234
xvlll
20 1ylng Lhe knoL 1anLra SLyle 237
1he unlque AspecLs of a 1anLrlc Marrlage Ceremony 238
leasL for Lhe 1anLrlc Weddlng 239
Muslc for Lhe 1anLra Marrlage 239
CuesL arLlclpaLlon 260
Speclal Ceremonles for 1anLrlc Lovers 260
ChrlsLlna and Wllllam's 1anLrlc Marrlage Ceremony 260
8undy and Llsa's louruay Weddlng 8lLual 263
Mark and aLrlcla's Plndu llre Ceremony 267
keeplng Lhe llres 8urnlng 268
21 When Pe 8eslsLs or She SLrays 271
When Cne of ?ou ls Convlnced 8uL Lhe
CLher lsn'L Sure 272
Pell no l Won'L Co! 273
know WhaL's 8esL for ?ou 274
Ponor ?our AgreemenLs 274
uon'L Sneak Cff Lo a 1anLra 1alk 274
Share ?our CrowLh 273
When Lhe Colng CeLs 1ough 273
When a 8elaLlonshlp Pas Lo Lnd 273
1anLrlc 1olerance 276
WhaL Lo uo AbouL 1anLrlc Sex Affalrs 276
An Affalr as Lnergy 8oosLer 277
ConslderaLlons AbouL 1anLrlc Affalrs 278
1he Lnergy 8oosLer CheckllsL 279
arL 6 1anLra for Lverybody ln Lhe new
Mlllennlum 281
22 A LlfeLlme of 1anLra Learnlng Lo Love
aL All Ages 283
WanL Lo leel and Look ?oung Agaln? 283
1he 8eal lounLaln of ?ouLh ln AmrlLa llow 284
1anLra ln Clder ?ears 284
laclng Lhe Changes 283
Laslng Per 1lme 1hrough Menopause 283
When Pe Pas a MldLlfe Crlsls 286
Seven keys Lo Pappler Llfe 1ranslLlons 1hrough
1anLrlc Love 287
xlx
ConLenLs
lllllng Lhe LmpLy nesL 288
When a arLner ules 288
1anLra for College SLudenLs 288
1anLra for 1eens 289
PealLhler klds When ?ou're a 1anLra arenL 290
Pow Lhe School SysLem Can 8e 1anLrlc 291
1he ayoff of Sensory 1ralnlng aL All Ages 292
23 LlfesLyles and SlLuaLlons 1anLra for
All 8elaLlonshlps 293
CyberLanLra 293
1he ros of CyberLanLra 294
1he Cons of CyberLanLra 293
Seelng 8eyond Lhe hyslcal 293
LasLlng Love for Seemlngly Cdd Couples 293
laclng SocleLy's Cplnlons 296
1he new World of SexuallLy 296
1anLrlc Sex for Men Who Love Men 297
1anLrlc Sex for Coddesses 298
1anLrlc Love for 1hose wlLh ulsablllLles 299
Peallng 8elaLlonshlps wlLh ?our arenLs 300
1anLra wlLh ?our eLs 300
1anLra wlLh ?our lanLs 301
24 Whlch aLh ls 8lghL for ?ou? 303
1he lmporLance of Culdance 304
llndlng Lhe 8lghL Culde 303
1he ulfferenL 1radlLlons of Sacred SexuallLy 308
Csho 1he SplrlLually lncorrecL MysLlc 310
ulfferenL 1ralnlngs 310
1ypes of Pealers and CLher racLlLloners 311
SLarLlng and keeplng up ?our racLlce 312
ConLlnulng ?our 1anLra LducaLlon 312
A lew 1hlngs Lo 8e Aware Cf 313
CosLs 313
uo 1anLra Weekends Work? 313
new 1rends ln 1anLrlc Lxperlences 316
lnLegraLlng 1anLrlc Sex wlLh CLher 1echnlques 317
xx
23 A Peallng lorce for now and Lhe luLure 319
?ou Are noL Alone 320
Sendlng Lnergy Lspeclally ln Lhe lace of 1ragedy 320
Peallng Lhe Cycles of Abuse 322
A PealLhy Way Lo CeL Plgh 323
1anLra as a Peallng lorce ln Lhe lace of lllness 324
Pow 1anLra romoLes 1olerance and ulverslLy 324
Pow 1anLrlc Sex Can Pelp Peal Lhe World 323
Appendlxes
A Clossary 327
8 Workshops Web SlLes 1eachers and
1anLra CommunlLles 333
C 1anLrlc 1ools 343
lndex 333
lorewords
lL's exclLlng for me Lo see Lhe LanLrlc perspecLlve comlng more and more lnLo malnsLream
LhoughL eople may be drawn Lo LanLrlc pracLlces hoplng Lo enhance Lhelr
sexual saLlsfacLlon lL does an amazlng [ob of lmprovlng whaL you already know and
en[oy buL lL also Lakes sexuallLy Lo anoLher dlmenslon enLlrely an experlence way
beyond normal"
1anLra ls much more Lhan a sexual Leachlng 1anLrlc pracLlce can Lransform every aspecL
of your llfe helplng you Lo expand your physlcal healLh and vlLallLy emoLlonal
heallng and expresslon psychlc senslLlvlLy saLlsfylng relaLlonshlps creaLlvlLy producLlvlLy
and abundance lL ls noL unusual for someone Lo Lell me afLer a few monLhs of
LanLrlc lnvolvemenL LhaL he or she feels llke a dlfferenL person much less sLressed
much more comforLable more [oyful
ur !udy ls unlquely quallfled Lo be a ma[or LanLrlc communlcaLor Lo be Lhe means
Lhrough whlch Lhls message goes forward Lo a broad populaLlon 1hrough her sLudles
and research her wrlLlngs her years on radlo and ln Lhe medla she knows her sub[ecL
and knows how Lo capLure people's lnLeresL She speaks dlrecLly of sexual maLLers buL
also appreclaLes Lhe deeper poLenLlal of LanLra
ln Lhls book ur !udy has presenLed a broad overvlew as well as speclflc Lhlngs you can
do Lo begln your personal exploraLlon 1anLra ls really a splrlLual paLh leadlng Lo selfdlscovery
Lo reallzlng you are much more magnlflcenL Lhan you ever guessed lf you
have Lhe courage Lo Lry someLhlng new Lhls book wlll gulde you Lhrough your flrsL
sLeps geL you sLarLed on a greaL advenLure
8odhl Avlnasha
lounder of 1anLrlka lnLernaLlonal and auLhor of !ewel ln Lhe LoLus
arL 1
An lnLroducLlon Lo 1anLrlc Sex
1he SplrlLual aLh
Lo Sacred Love
?ou're abouL Lo embark on a wonderful [ourney! Would you llke Lo feel more lnLense
exclLemenL Lhan ever before? Lxperlence more love for yourself and oLhers Lhan you
ever lmaglned posslble? Pave Lhe besL sex everLruly because lL's noL [usL sex lL's
much more?
lf you answered yes geL ready Lo be Lransformed Lo feel freer and more enLhuslasLlc
abouL yourself and your llfe l can make Lhese promlses Lo you because l know lL's posslble
and because l have seen lnsplrlng LransformaLlons happen Lo men and women of
all ages young and old when embarklng on Lhe exclLlng [ourney you can make ln Lhls
book
ln Lhls parL l'll lnLroduce you Lo Lhe anclenL arLs of lovemaklng LhaL sLarLed ln Lhe
LasLern parLs of Lhe world Lhousands of years ago buL LhaL were losL over Lhe cenLurles
unLll nowwhen we ln Amerlca are revlvlng Lhem ?ou'll learn powerful breaLhlng
Lechnlques ways Lo generaLe powerful surges of sexual energy Lhrough your body how
Lo honor yourself and your parLner and all Lhe baslcs Lo geL sLarLed on Lhe LanLrlc paLh
lnLo deeper lnLlmacy and hlgher sLaLes of ecsLaLlc consclousness!

ChapLer 1
WhaL ls 1anLrlc
Sex?
ln 1hls ChapLer
WhaL ls LanLra and LanLrlc sex?
Pow LanLra affecLs your senses splrlL mlnd body and soul
Pow LanLra ls compaLlble wlLh Lhe modern WesLern way of llfe
lacL or flcLlon correcLlng myLhs abouL LanLrlc sex
1he beneflLs of LanLrlc sex
Culz Are you ready for LanLrlc sex?
Are you ready Lo experlence bllss llke you've never felL before? lmaglne a sexual experlence
ln whlch llghL flashes explode ln your braln and every cell ln your body feels
allve lmaglne explodlng wlLh pleasure aL even Lhe sllghLesL Louch anywhere on your
body lmaglne belng ln a sexual embrace of such uLLer [oy and peacefulness LhaL you
melL" lnLo one anoLher and Lhen expand Lo feel aL one" wlLh Lhe enLlre unlverse
lf you would llke Lo have Lhose experlences you're readlng Lhe perfecL book! l'll Lake
you Lhrough Lhe world of LanLrlc sex ln whlch such experlences are posslble and aLLalnable
?ou wlll learn Lhe baslcs Leachlngs LhaL brlng you Lo Lhese hlgh sLaLes of
pleasure and consclousness and acLual sLepbysLep pracLlces you can perform lmmedlaLely
Lo reach Lhese sLaLes of bllss and enllghLenmenL
arL 1 An lnLroducLlon Lo 1anLrlc Sex 1he SplrlLual aLh Lo Sacred Love
4
1he anclenL pracLlce of LanLrlc sex ls en[oylng new popularlLy ln Amerlca maklng Lhls
Lhe perfecL Llme for you Lo harness whaL you already know abouL love and sexuallLy
and Lake lL Lo Lhe nexL level 1he world we llve ln ls more ready Lhan ever for LanLrlc
sex because of our new appreclaLlon for deeper splrlLual pracLlces ln addlLlon as llfe
ls lncreaslngly drlven by Lechnology so LhaL personLoperson conLacL ls dlmlnlshlng
Lhere ls more deslre for Lhe lnLlmaLe meanlngful conLacL LhaL LanLrlc sex offers 8ead
on Lhrough Lhese chapLers Lo achleve [usL LhaL!
WhaL ls 1anLra?
1o undersLand LanLrlc sex flrsL you musL undersLand whaL LanLra ls 1he word LanLra"
comes from anclenL SanskrlL language meanlng expanslon Lhrough awareness"
1anLra ls a splrlLual paLh LhaL lnvolves very speclflc pracLlces LhaL use breaLh sounds
movemenLs and symbols Lo quleL Lhe mlnd and acLlvaLe sexual energy dlrecLlng lL
LhroughouL Lhe body Lo achleve sLaLes of consclousness
and bllss 1anLra LradlLlons come from anclenL pracLlces
ln lndla nepal and Chlna Whereas once Lhey were reserved
for royalLy now Lhey are for all of us
1he pracLlces also help heal pasL hurLs ofLen sLored ln
sexual cenLers of Lhe body so LhaL you can be more fully
presenL ln Lhe momenL and open Lo love When pracLlced
LogeLher Lhe Lechnlques brlng abouL a powerful
flow of energy beLween you and your parLner whlch energlzes
your belng and expands your love for each oLher
and Lhe unlverse
Sacred Sex Lhe 1anLrlc Way
leel your sex cenLer now and sense any energy flowlng
Lhere ress yourself agalnsL Lhe chalr lf you are slLLlng or
squeeze Lhe muscles of your buLLocks lf you are sLandlng
1hereln lles a powerful energy generaLor accordlng Lo
Lhe LanLrlc sex LradlLlonbuL Lhe paLh does noL end aL
[usL physlcal pleasure lmaglne feellng volLs of elecLrlclLy surglng ln your sexual area
whlch you could dlrecL Lo your hearL Lo feel more loveor Lo your mlnd for mlndblowlng
orgasms LhaL lasL endlessly and puL you ln a sLaLe of compleLe [oy and bllss
1anLrlc sex lnvolves Lhe pracLlce of varlous medlLaLlons and exerclses (lncludlng yoga)
Lo arouse and channel Lremendous energy wlLhln Lhe body cycle LhaL energy wlLh a
parLner and send lL ouL lnLo Lhe world lL ls lnLended for personal fulflllmenL lnLerpersonal
lnLlmacy and connecLlon Lo Lhe enLlre world of belngs 1he energy generaLed
by LanLrlc sex can be used for elLher pleasure lnLended for bllssful enllghLenmenL
or for heallng ln arLs 1 and 2 l'll dlscuss LanLrlc sex for pleasure ln arL 3 l'll Lell
you how Lo harness LhaL pleasure for heallng
1anLra 1uLorlal
1anLra ls a SanskrlL word meanlng
Lhe Leachlngs and pracLlces
LhaL use energy Lo lead Lo a hlgh
sLaLe of bllss and enllghLenmenL
1anLrlc sex applles Lhe Leachlngs
of LanLra Lo Lhe sexual unlon
ln order Lo reach Lhese hlgh
sLaLes
3
ChapLer 1 WhaL ls 1anLrlc Sex?
So whaL ls LanLrlc sex? lL can be any and all of Lhe followlng
Achlevlng a balance beLween male and
female energles wlLhln Lhe self and wlLh a
parLner
SexuallLy LhaL dlrecLs energy Loward free expresslon
and breaks barrlers lnLernally and lnLerpersonally
1hls ls aLLalned by elevaLlng sex
acLs lnLo a dlvlne pracLlce and unlLlng as
beloveds for whom every Louch and movemenL
ls consldered a dlvlne glfL
Allgnlng wlLh anoLher belng and wlLh Lhe
world Lhrough dlvlne sexual experlence
CelebraLlng sexual unlon as an honorlng of
all belngs and creaLlon
racLlces LhaL llberaLe Lhe soul Lo experlence
Lhe hlghesL levels of bllss
Pow 1anLrlc Sex lrees ?our Mlnd 8ody and Soul
As ln any medlLaLlve pracLlce a cruclal key Lo achlevlng Lhe wonderful beneflLs of
LanLrlc sex ls Lo quleL Lhe mlnd you wlll learn many meLhods of dolng Lhls ln Lhls
book 1anLrlc sex ls mlndful ln LhaL you pay aLLenLlon Lo whaL you're dolng ln Lhe
Achlevlng bllss ls a ma[or
goal ln LanLrlc sex
8locks Lo 8llss
1he Lerm LanLrlc sex" ls ofLen
mlslnLerpreLed and poLenLlally
dangerous for Lhe unlnformed
because lL ls used Lo refer Lo a
mlxLure of dlfferenL paLhs as a
buzzword for wanLon sexuallLy
and as an excuse for sexual
affalrs sex addlcLlons and sex
for sale
6
exchange beLween you and your parLner 8elng mlndful lnduces a sense of respecL
and reverence for Lhe experlence whlch lends lLself Lo honorlng each oLher as god
and goddess as you wlll learn ln ChapLer 4 Awaken and Worshlp Lhe Cod and
Coddess ln ?ou" ConslsLenL wlLh mlndfulnessbuL noL aL all conLradlcLoryls Lhe
goal of LanLrlc sex Lo geL ouL of your mlnd and release your body 1hrough Lhls klnd
of release you can freely express yourself and feel deep sLaLes of love ouLslde of sexual
pleasure LhaL Louch your soul
1anLrlc Sex as Lhe aLh Lo Peallng
An advanced use of LanLrlc sex ls for heallng Lhe body mlnd and splrlL Men as well
as women suffer varlous hurLs re[ecLlons and abuseselLher real or percelvedfrom
prevlous relaLlonshlps 1hrough exerclses and rlLuals explalned ln Lhls book LanLrlc
sex can be used Lo heal Lhese hurLs and free Lhe body mlnd and splrlL Lo feel peaceful
empowered and open Lo love wlLhouL fear gullL embarrassmenL shame or
anger
As you wlll see speclflcally ln ChapLers 9 8reaklng 1hrough 8locks Lo 8llss" and 17
Sexual Peallng Lo SeL ?ou lree" sexual heallng lnvolves Lhree sLeps
1 ldenLlfylng pasL hurLs (elLher real or lmaglned) Lhrough sexual sLlmulaLlon and
medlLaLlon
2 8eleaslng powerful emoLlons aLLached Lo Lhese hurLs
3 8eplaclng Lhe hurL wlLh poslLlve experlence and emoLlons
1anLrlc Sex as Maglc
1hroughouL Lhls book and speclflcally ln ChapLer 13
Make lL !ulcy wlLh Maglc and lay" l'll gulde you
Lhrough rlLuals and creaLlve new Lechnlques LhaL wlll
heal your hurLs make you feel young and expand
your ablllLy Lo love and experlence [oy
A owerful Chemlcal
CockLall Lo 8llss
1anLrlc sex pracLlces affecL you ln many dlmenslons
your senses splrlL mlnd body and soul 8eal changes
occur ln Lhe body LhaL are conslsLenL wlLh ecsLaLlc
sLaLes lncludlng Lhe flow of chemlcals LhaL lead Lo euphorla
1hese lnclude endorphlns (called Lhe pleasure
chemlcal") oxyLocln (called Lhe cuddle chemlcal")
ur !udy's 1anLrAdvlce
?ou mlghL en[oy renLlng Lhe
popular movle 8llss whlch ls
abouL Lhe heallng and personal
growLh LhaL ls posslble Lhrough
LanLrlc pracLlce Powever be
aware LhaL Lhe Lrue splrlLual aspecLs
are barely Louched upon
and Lhe sLory ls obvlously skewed
Lo conform Lo Lhe needs of a
markeLable Pollywood drama
7
phenyleLhlyamanlme (anoLher pleasure chemlcal) and adrenallne (an acLlvaLlng chemlcal)
ulfferenL pracLlces sLlmulaLe Lhe nervous sysLem Lo creaLe elLher exclLaLlon or
relaxaLlon
AlLhough LanLrlc sex pracLlces have noL been sLudled ln Lhe laboraLory oLher relaLed
research has shown how cerLaln acLlvlLles LhaL alLer Lhe braln and body are rouLes Lo
bllss MedlLaLlon key Lo cerLaln LanLrlc pracLlces has been exLenslvely researched and
shown Lo have poslLlve effecLs on braln wave acLlvlLy speclflcally causlng relaxaLlon
responses ln prellmlnary research a Callfornla sexologlsL measured women's braln
wave acLlvlLy durlng relaxaLlon lmagery and LanLrlcrelaLed masLurbaLory acLlvlLy
and showed LhaL women who pracLlce LanLrlc acLlvlLles can lnduce braln waves durlng
selfpleasurlng LhaL are assoclaLed wlLh pleasurable alLered sLaLes of consclousness
llnd and lollow Lhe aLhways of Lnergy
ln LanLrlc sex you dlscover energy paLhways ln Lhe body and concenLraLe on conLrolllng
Lhe movemenL of LhaL energy wlLhln Lhose paLhways ?ou lnLerweave Lhose energles
wlLh your parLner Lo dlssolve feellngs of separaLlon and Lo become unlLed As you
wlll dlscover ln ChapLer 2 1he 8aslcs ?es ?ln ?ang ?onl and ?ab ?um" LanLrlc sex
brlngs LogeLher key glands ln Lhe braln (Lhe plneal and plLulLary glands) LhaL correspond
Lo energy cenLers or chakras When Lhls happens you wlll see how grand lL ls!
Pow Lhe WesL 8evlved
LasLern 1anLrlc Sex racLlces
AnclenL LasLern culLures have been pracLlclng
some of Lhese sacred sex LradlLlons for cenLurles
unforLunaLely Lhrough pollLlcal upheavals rellglous
ob[ecLlons and culLural changes ln Lhose
socleLles Lhe pracLlces were suppressed or forgoLLen
lL's amazlng LhaL Lhese pracLlces are belng revlved
now ln Amerlca and belng reLurned Lo Lhelr
orlglns by key flgures ln Lhe fleldas well as by
me ln my currenL exLenslve work ln Lhe CrlenL l
call Lhls Lhe LnllghLenmenL 8oad" for new
Lhlnkers brlnglng preclous new ways of llfe from
one counLry Lo anoLher much llke Lraders
broughL Lhelr wares along Lhe famous Sllk 8oad"
Lhrough Chlna cenLurles ago
8locks Lo 8llss
uon'L geL so carrled away ln Lhe
pursulL of bllss LhaL you forgeL
LhaL Lhe goal behlnd Lhe pracLlce
of LanLrlc sex ls Lhe aLLalnmenL
of wlsdom enllghLenmenL
and Lhe beneflL of all manklnd
noL [usL lndlvldual pleasure
8
AlLhough medlLaLlon from LasLern gurus such as Swamls MukLananda and Sachldananda
became popular abouL 23 years ago and LanLrlc sex pracLlces were slmllarly
lnLroduced by LasLerners such as ManLak Chla Lhe pracLlces became malnsLream only
abouL a decade ago 1anLrlc sex pracLlces were revlved malnly by sLudenLs of relaLed
arLs of yoga and medlLaLlon ln Lhe WesL who came upon Leachlngs of LanLra and lnLegraLed
Lhem lnLo Lhelr own pracLlces
AlLhough LanLrlc pracLlces were developed ln Lhe LasLern parL of Lhe world Lhey are
parLlcularly appllcable and appeallng Lo Lhe WesLern world Loday Pere are 10 ways
LanLrlc sex has modernday appeal Lo Lhe WesL
1 1anLrlc sex promlses slmple sLeps and lnsLanL resulLs whlch are appeallng Lo
WesLerners who are condlLloned Lo lnsLanL" llfesLyles (lnsLanL coffee fasL food
lnsLanL graLlflcaLlon) and qulck flxes
2 1he pracLlces are based on channellng and uslng deslre raLher Lhan denylng deslre
MosL WesLerners don'L llke Lhe ldea of abandonlng deslre buL adapLlng lL Lo
reach hlgher sLaLes ls accepLable and even appeallng
Me wlLh Chlnese colleagues
answerlng calls on
a Shanghal hoLllne
Slgnlng books aL a naLlonal
Chlnese book falr
9
3 1he pracLlces don'L requlre Lhe LradlLlonal reLreaL from socleLy MalnsLream
WesLerners are noL wllllng Lo flnd ecsLasy and enllghLenmenL by [olnlng an
ashram for years of quleL medlLaLlon shavlng Lhelr heads wearlng orange robes
or glvlng up worldly goods
4 1anLrlc sex ls based on Lhe prlnclple of LransformaLlon of energy WesLerners are
famlllar wlLh Lhls concepL ln physlcs elecLronlcs and modern Lechnology
3 WesLerners llke Lo conLrol (Lhlngs Lhemselves oLhers) LanLra harnesses conLrol
by pracLlces LhaL channel energy lnLo dlfferenL body parLs and for speclflc
purposes
1anLra 1ales
erhaps one of Lhe mosL noLable brldges beLween LasLern and WesLern LhoughL ln our
Llme ls Lhe lndlan mysLlc Csho who knew he had Lo adapL Lhe mosL ausLere LasLern medlLaLlon
pracLlces Lo make Lhem more appeallng Lo WesLerners Pe seL up a reLreaL cenLer
ln Amerlca ln Lhe 1970s Pls lecLures were peppered wlLh [okes and lncluded freeform
danclng Lo llve bands and celebraLlon and courses LaughL sub[ecLs llke psychlc massage
aromaLherapy and asLrology
6 1anLrlc sex pracLlces encourage experlence and selfdeLermlnaLlon pracLlcal dayLo
day rlLuals and a sLepbysLep approach Lo achlevlng hlgher sLaLes of peacefulness
bllss and consclousness raLher Lhan bllnd falLh whlch ls noL as
appeallng Lo WesLerners accusLomed Lo quesLlonlng bellef sysLems
7 1anLrlc sex sLarLs wlLh lndlvldual pracLlce whlch generaLes lnLo pracLlce wlLh a
parLner LhaL can Lhen beneflL Lhe whole socleLy 1hls ls conslsLenL wlLh Lhe lndlvlduallsm
LhaL ls Lhe basls of WesLern socleLy
8 1anLrlc sex halls selfdlscovery a pracLlce conslsLenL wlLh Lhe WesLern obsesslon
wlLh selflmprovemenL and selfmasLery
9 1anLrlc sex honors Lhe human body conslsLenL wlLh WesLern appreclaLlon and
focus on Lhe body lar from belng a hlndrance Lo enllghLenmenL Lhe body ls
consldered Lhe vehlcle for bllss
10 1anLrlc sex pracLlces encourage helghLenlng Lhe senses Lhrough beauLlful cloLhlng
aLLracLlve surroundlngs and sLlmulaLlon of all Lhe senses whlch ls conslsLenL
wlLh WesLern obsesslons wlLh worldly pleasures
10
Sacred Sex
Sacred sex refers Lo Lhe connecLlon beLween Lwo hlgher selves for Lhe lnLenLlon of a dlvlne
unlonnoL for physlcal Lhrlll lusL or lnLenL Lo use anoLher person for personal
sexual or emoLlonal saLlsfacLlon 1he comlng LogeLher of Lwo belngs ls consldered an
acL of godllness Lo be Laken serlously and done wlLh greaL reverence servlng as a
brldge beLween Lhe physlcal world and Lhe splrlLual
world and reached vla Lhe vehlcle of Lhe body and
breaLh
Several dlfferenL Lypes of LanLra are pracLlced and
LaughL ln modern Llmes Some of Lhese preserve Lhe
anclenL LradlLlons oLhers have adapLed some pracLlces
Lo sulL more WesLern or modern ways Powever mosL
of Lhe ldeas are based on slmllar prlnclples such as
SexuallLy ls sacred
All belngs are connecLed and equal
Sexual energy can be dlrecLed and channeled
for Lhe beneflL of Lhe lndlvldual couple and all
belngs
Sexual unlon ls Lhe road Lo hlgher consclousness
and ecsLasy
1he breaLh ls Lhe key Lo releaslng Lhls powerful
energy
Lven lf you know noLhlng of LanLra yeL you mlghL
know abouL have heard a frlend Lalk abouL or had a
LasLe yourself of an experlence ln whlch you were
maklng love and melLed lnLo" your parLner or felL
aL one wlLh Lhe unlverse" 1anLrlc lovemaklng leads Lo
Lhls merglng of Lhe self wlLh Lhe beloved and Lhe unlverse
1hls can be a challenge because lL requlres suspendlng
Lhe raLlonal mlndLhe Lhlnklng worrylng
crlLlcal parL LhaL deflnes who we Lhlnk we are and our
dally lnLeresLs needs and problems Ch Lhe mlnd
sLruggles agalnsL glvlng up lLs worrylngafLer all as
LanLrlc Leacher 8odhl Avlnasha says lf lL gave up
worry mlghL Lhe mlnd Lhen be ouL of a [ob?" 1he
mlnd consLanLly Lells you l need Lhls" l should do
LhaL" l don'L llke Lhls" 1anLrlc sex glves you a
chance Lo sLop Lhe ego and Lhe mlnd from Lhls longlng
and worrylng
LcsLasy LssenLlals
CrlLlcs clalm LhaL WesLerners have
dlluLed or LalnLed Lhe pracLlces
of LanLrlc sex from Lhe pure form
LhaL orlglnaLed cenLurles ago
WesLerners acLually should be
credlLed for revlvlng (even lf
somewhaL revlslng) pracLlces LhaL
were neglecLed for cenLurles
1anLra 1uLorlal
1o release Lhe ego you can call
upon your hlgher self or Lhe
wlse parL of you LhaL ls above
[udgmenLs worldly fears and
fear of Lhe unknown ln quleL
momenLs some people flnd lL
easler Lo vlsuallze Lhls self as acLually
above Lhe head looklng
down on Lhe problem or slLuaLlon
and wlLnesslng lL
11
MyLhs AbouL 1anLra and 1anLrlc Sex
8ecause LanLra celebraLes sexuallLy lL has become rlpe for crlLlclsm and mlsundersLandlng
Pere are some myLhs and LruLhs abouL LanLrlc sex
MyLh 1anLrlc sex ls all abouL sex
1ruLh 1anLrlc sex pracLlces someLlmes do noL even lnclude genlLal conLacLLhey are
really abouL energeLlc and splrlLual conLacL beLween parLners lnLercourse or Lhe connecLlon
of genlLals only serves Lo helghLen Lhe energeLlc connecLlon when a couple ls
ready for LhaL lnLlmaLe sLage
MyLh racLlclng LanLra means you glve up pleasure
1ruLh 1hls myLh ls Lhe opposlLe of Lhe mlsLaken bellef l [usL addressed LhaL LanLra ls
all abouL sex nelLher exLreme ls Lrue 1anLra does noL requlre a renunclaLlon of pleasure
even Lhough some yoglc pracLlces do raLher LanLra ls an enhancemenL of [oy and
pleasure 1he LanLrlc sex paLh does noL see deslre as someLhlng Lo be denled as lf you
have Lo mlmlc Lhe lmage of Lhe 8uddha slLLlng sllenLly medlLaLlng crosslegged
alone noL Lhlnklng of anyLhlngand glvlng up sex lnsLead LanLra recognlzes Lhe
powerful force LhaL sex plays ln our llves and harnesses lL Lo achleve sLaLes of bllss beyond
[usL physlcal pleasure
MyLh 1anLrlc sex encourages lndulgences of Lhe
appeLlLes whlch leads Lo affalrs or orgles
1ruLh 1anLrlc sex does noL advocaLe lndulglng unconLrolled
sexual or oLher appeLlLes or mulLlplylng
your deslres and wallowlng ln pleasure ln facL lL
Lralns us Lo conLrol deslre Lo channel lL Lo hlgher
purposes WhaL's more connecLlon beLween Lwo
people ls meanL Lo be consldered very serlously
and commlLmenL hlghly regarded AlLhough some
people use LanLrlc sex as a way Lo raLlonallze havlng
sex wlLh many dlfferenL people or many people
aL once Lhls ls noL Lhe splrlL of Lrue LanLra
SexuallLy ls noL meanL Lo be fllLLered away mlndlessly
or LhoughLlessly buL honored and lnLended
for Lhe purpose of hlgher sLaLes of consclousness
raLher Lhan slmply physlcal sLlmulaLlon or saLlsfacLlon
?ou could even say LhaL you can reslsL sexual
conLacL wlLh oLhers because you are Lralned Lo be
able Lo connecL wlLh oLhers emoLlonally and splrlLually
wlLhouL havlng Lo engage bodles ln sex ln a
Lrue LanLrlc pracLlLloner a newly llberaLed llbldo
does noL acL ouL promlscuous deslres
1o undersLand Lhe dlfference beLween
allowlng pleasure raLher
Lhan grasplng for lL lmaglne a
person you deslre ln fronL of you
llrsL plcLure sLepplng forward
and grabblng for LhaL person
who sLays ouL of your reach leel
your frusLraLlon and hearL
poundlng ln conLrasL plcLure
sLaylng ln place and seelng LhaL
physlcal belng dlssolved lnLo a
ray of llghL LhaL elLher comes Lo
you or noL Lxperlence a more
peaceful and expanslve feellng
wlLhln yourself
12
MyLh 1anLrlc sex Lurns you lnLo a sex manlac
1ruLh 1anLrlc sex does release your sexual energy and
glve you full permlsslon Lo express yourselfso Lhe
Lendency Lo acL ouL sexually ls posslble buL only lf
you mlsuse Lhe pracLlces lf you learn Lhe pracLlces responslbly
you wlll overcome any Lendencles Lo have
random meanlngless sex
MyLh 1anLrlc sex ls for LasLerners and ls noL conslsLenL
wlLh how we see sex ln Lhe WesL
1ruLh As l menLloned earller ln Lhls chapLer LanLrlc
sex pracLlces are acLually qulLe conslsLenL wlLh our
WesLern way of Lhlnklng 1he focus on Lhe lndlvldual
Lhe accepLance of pleasure and clearly deflned sLeps
are a perfecL flL wlLh Lhe way WesLerners currenLly llve
Lhelr llves 1anLrlc sex reLools Lhese approaches Lo be
more allgned wlLh Lhe road Lo Lrue ecsLasy
MyLh 1anLra ls a rellglon and a culL LhaL wlll Lrap or
bralnwash you
1ruLh 1anLra ls nelLher a rellglon or a culL 1he genulne
eLhlcal LanLra Leachers do noL wanL Lo conLrol
you Lhey merely gulde you ln a serles of pracLlces LhaL
you choose for yourself and adapL lnLo your llfe
MyLh lL Lakes a long Llme Lo learn how Lo do LanLrlc
sex
1ruLh Cne of Lhe beauLlful aspecLs of Lhe LanLrlc paLh
ls LhaL Lhe pracLlces can be puL lnLo effecL lmmedlaLely
and resulLs noLlced ln [usL one weekend workshop
you can learn enough baslc ldeas and pracLlcal exerclses
Lo lmmedlaLely lmprove your sex llfe and general
feellngs abouL yourself whlch wlll generaLe Lo every
parL of your llfe
Why 1anLrlc Sex now?
Several facLors have led Lo Lhe popularlLy of LanLrlc sex ln our modern Llmes
ln Lhe lasL Lwo decades of Lhe LwenLleLh cenLury couples and slngles suffered
greaL dlsLress and frusLraLlon over relaLlonshlps and searched for soluLlons ln all
dlrecLlons Selfhelp books and courses have become lncreaslngly popular as people
seek soluLlons Lo flndlng and keeplng Lhe love Lhey wanL eople could
choose from a growlng number of approaches once consldered alLernaLlve" or
lf a marrled woman feels aLLracLed
Lo anoLher man lnsLead
of havlng an affalr ln LanLrlc
pracLlce she would waLch her
feellngs medlLaLe on Lhem and
follow Lhe force of LhaL fanLasy
Lo brlng new energy lnLo her sex
llfe wlLh her husband
8locks Lo 8llss
8eware of anyone LanLra
Leacher or oLherwlse who demands
LhaL you follow Lhem
rlgldly glve up your llfe frlends
or famlly or slgn over your
flnances
13
pop psychology" buL LhaL are now much
more malnsLream 1he opLlons are lnnumerable
as ls evldenced by Lhe growlng number
of selfenrlchmenL and alLernaLlve healLh and
heallng cenLers
Codependency and addlcLlons of all klnds
whlch sLem from lack of love and Lrue lnLlmaLe
connecLlon have escalaLed Sufferers
and healLh experLs are seeklng and wllllng Lo
Lry many new klnds of soluLlons Lo Lhese
problems
We are movlng away from Lhe vlew of
relaLlonshlps as dysfuncLlonal"whlch emphaslzes
only negaLlve paLLerns of behavlor
Loward a more poslLlve vlew whlch focuses
on Lhe poLenLlal for healLhy lnLeracLlons
eople have lncreaslngly Lurned Lo medlcaLlons
Lo relleve depresslon and anxleLy
(dlsorders LhaL have reached epldemlc proporLlons)
yeL found Lhese soluLlons dlsappolnLlng
ressures of corporaLe downslzlng lncreased consumerlsm and Lechnologlcal
advances have puL lncreaslng sLraln on relaLlonshlps causlng lonellness and lsolaLlon
and Lurnlng people Loward LasLern phllosophles whlch shun maLerlallsm
1he growlng lnLeresL ln lmprovlng relaLlonshlps and aLLalnlng a deeper connecLlon
beLween lovers has led gradually Lo Lhe resurgence of Lhe Age of Aquarlus
wlLh lLs lnLeresL ln whaL's come Lo be called splrlLuallLy 1hls splrlLuallLy focuses
aLLenLlon on Lhe deeper parLs of one's soul lnsLead of [usL raLlonal reasons for
coupllng or parLlcular ways LhaL couples can sLay LogeLher
World Lenslons Lerrorlsm and war have lncreased people's dlsLrusL and dlsLress
and Lherefore a deslre for peace boLh lnLernally and ln Lhelr dally llfe 1anLra
sLands for LhaL LrusL and peace ln Lhe lnLernal and exLernal worlds
1welve 8eneflLs of 1anLrlc Sex racLlces
uevoLlng yourself Lo any pracLlce has Lo have payoffs 1here are many dlvldends from
lnvesLlng Llme and energy lnLo LanLrlc sex 1anLrlc sex pracLlces can help you achleve
Lhe followlng
1anLra 1uLorlal
Cnce alLernaLlve" buL now
more malnsLream meLhods for
personal growLh and healLh
range from bodywork or massage
Lechnlques Lo pasLllfe regresslon
(lmaglnlng eras ln whlch you
mlghL have llved prevlously LhaL
helps explaln your relaLlonshlps
problems or goals ln Lhe presenL)

14
1 Lxpand your posslblllLles for love 1anLrlc sex shows you how Lo deepen Lhe
physlcal and splrlLual connecLlon wlLh your parLner and nurLure and love
yourself
2 8e[uvenaLe your healLh racLlclng LanLrlc sex has physlologlcal and psychologlcal
effecLs LhaL malnLalnand regalnhealLh lor example breaLhlng Lechnlques
brlng more alr lnLo Lhe body nourlshlng Lhe Llssues and muscles 8esearch
has shown a llnk beLween Lhe effecLs of relaxaLlon medlLaLlon and splrlLuallLy
and beLLer physlcal and emoLlonal healLh eople who are splrlLual have lower
blood pressure lower levels of anxleLy and depresslon more sLable hormone levels
and beLLer funcLlonlng lmmune sysLems
3 1ap lnLo Lhe founLaln of youLh lor all Lhe healLh beneflLs menLloned prevlously
pracLlclng LanLra can make you feel and look young agaln
4 Lmpower women Many women suffer from low selfesLeem 1hey mlghL have
a poor body lmage or Lhey mlghL glve ln Lo sex when Lhey would really llke Lo
say no or noL Lell Lhelr parLner whaL Lhey really wanL ln LanLrlc sex women are
LreaLed wlLh Lhe respecL and honor Lhey deslre and deserve
3 Lmpower men So many men worry abouL Lhelr penls slze and how long Lhey
lasL ln sex Many also don'L know how Lo commlL or really please a woman
When men feel more empowered ln sex Lhey become more confldenL and open
Lo belng more carlng ln Lhelr relaLlonshlp
6 Pelp you achleve Lrue saLlsfacLlon from sex When Lhe sex acL ls over are you
ever lefL wlLh Lhe feellng LhaL you're noL really flnlshed? 1hls ls ofLen because
Lhe sexual acL does noL go beyond Lhe genlLalslL does noL Louch Lhe hearL ln
LanLrlc sex you can reach Lhe sLaLe ln whlch every cell ln your body feels nurLured
from Lhe soul connecLlon you feel wlLh your parLner When sex happens
wlLh Lhls klnd of hearL connecLlon boLh body and mlnd are fed
7 AllevlaLe anxleLles and depresslon SLaLlsLlcs show mllllons of men and women
suffer from anxleLy and depresslon lncludlng sympLoms llke faLlgue llsLlessness
and sleeplng and eaLlng dlsLurbances 1anLrlc sex provldes an enormous source
of energy Lo Lhe body and peacefulness Lo Lhe mlnd LhaL overcomes Lhese
problems
8 LlevaLe sex When you elevaLe sex Lo a level of sacredness lL Lakes on a rlcher
dlmenslon Lhan a mere physlcal acL
9 rolong pleasure 1anLrlc sex Lechnlques make lovemaklnglncludlng Lhe afLerglow
lasL a long Llme 1hls occurs noL only Lhrough e[aculaLory conLrol buL
by learnlng Lo dlrecL sexual energy anywhere ln Lhe body or lnLo splrlLual manlfesLaLlons
10 Peal pasL emoLlonal wounds 1anLrlc sex can help you heal pasL hurLs from all
klnds of palnful or LraumaLlc experlences ln whlch you felL beLrayed or abused
13
lnsLead lL helps you creaLe experlences of belng honored and respecLed ln sex
and ln llfe ln general
11 ueepen your connecLlon Lo oLhers 1anLrlc sex glves more meanlng Lo llfe and
enrlches your relaLlonshlps
12 AffecL Lhe world poslLlvely ?our personal galns cause you Lo generaLe more
poslLlve and lovlng energy ouLwardly exLendlng Lo everyone you come lnLo
conLacL wlLh even alLerlng Lhe energy of Lhe planeL (slnce all Lhlngs on a meLaphyslcal
or splrlLual level are lnLerrelaLed)
1anLra 1ales
Mlchelle noLlced LhaL her husband was less enLhuslasLlc abouL Lhelr sex llfe afLer only Lwo
years of belng LogeLher She admlLLed LhaL she had grown more lnhlblLed spendlng less
Llme Louchlng hlm and only allowlng lnLercourse wlLhouL glvlng hlm Lhe oral pleasure he
once en[oyed so much Learnlng LanLrlc sex pracLlces Lurned all Lhls around Mlchelle
commlLLed herself Lo becomlng a beLLer lover offerlng Lo massage her husband all over
experlmenLlng wlLh new ways of pleaslng hlm followlng her lnsLlncL and senslng whaL he
would en[oy
Are ?ou 8eady for 1anLra?
Pow do you know wheLher you're ready for LanLrlc sex pracLlces? 1ake Lhls qulz Lo see
wheLher Lhese pracLlces wlll be conslsLenL wlLh where you are now ln your splrlLual
[ourney Share Lhls qulz wlLh your parLner Lo see lf he or she ls also ready Lo begln
Lhese pracLlces
1he Are ?ou 8eady for 1anLra?" Culz
Check ?es or no for each of Lhe followlng quesLlons
1 Are you wllllng Lo change Lhe way you have sex now ?es no
Lo have a deeper more meanlngful experlence?
2 uo you belleve LhaL how you breaLhe affecLs your ?es no
sexual experlence?
3 uo you Lhlnk LhaL women can have mulLlple orgasms ?es no
buL men cannoL?
16
4 uo you Lhlnk a man should be a man" and a woman ?es no
should be a woman" wlLh no crossover ln Lhose roles?
3 uo you Lhlnk LhaL a man has Lo e[aculaLe Lo achleve ?es no
pleasure?
6 uo you wanL lovemaklng Lo lasL longer? ?es no
7 uo you Lhlnk you musL have an orgasm Lo be ?es no
saLlsfled ln sex?
8 uo you need a cerLaln Lype of lover Lo be happy? ?es no
9 uo you wanL Lo have sex wlLh your parLner on a ?es no
hlgh splrlLual level?
10 uo you Lhlnk LhaL your lovlng can lnfluence more ?es no
peace on earLh?
Scorlng CounL Lhe LoLal number of ?es and no answers you have Lo Lhe precedlng
quesLlons accordlng Lo Lhe followlng
number of ?es answers Lo quesLlons 1 2 6 9 10
number of no answers Lo quesLlons 3 4 3 7 8
My LoLal score
My parLner's LoLal score
lf your LoLal score ls more Lhan 3 you are really ready for LanLrlc pracLlce ?ou belleve
ln channellng pleasure for hlgher purpose and wanL Lo use lovemaklng Lo achleve an
energeLlc exchange wlLh a parLner ?ou are wllllng Lo enLhuslasLlcally parLlclpaLe ln
LanLrlc Lralnlng and are ready Lo learn Lhe skllls LhaL wlll enable you Lo use your sexuallLy
ln a sacred way
lf your LoLal ls beLween 3 and 3 you have Lhe poLenLlal Lo sLarL LanLrlc pracLlce and
would beneflL greaLly from Laklng a LanLrlc course 8ead on Lo learn more abouL
LanLrlc sex and spark your lnLeresL and commlLmenL Lo harnesslng Lhe poLenLlal you
already have
lf your LoLal ls less Lhan 3 you have skepLlclsm abouL how Lo harness sexuallLy buL
sLlll should read on and conslder how Lo lnLegraLe Lhese new exclLlng pracLlces lnLo
your llfe
1he 1en ledges of Lhe 1anLrlc Sex aLh
Cnce you have commlLLed Lo Lhe paLh of LanLrlc sex see how Lhe followlng pledges
feel Lo you Popefully a peaceful feellng washes over you (your breaLh more even
mlnd resLful) as you read Lhese senLences
17
1 l pledge Lo explore Lhe dlvlnlLy wlLhln myself
2 l pledge Lo honor Lhe god and goddesses dlvlnlLles ln oLhers
3 l pledge Lo explore my sensuallLy and sexuallLy as a way Lo re[uvenaLe my organs
of blocked emoLlons
4 l pledge Lo balance my lnner belng my relaLlonshlps and my envlronmenL
3 l pledge Lo apply my balance and bllss for Lhe good of Lhe resL of Lhe world
6 l pledge Lo dlscover my sensuallLy for harmonlous relaLlonshlps
7 l pledge Lo remove emoLlonal obsLacles from my pasL or presenL Lo free me Lo
express my lnner belng and [oy
8 l pledge Lo connecL wlLh my lnner chlld for [oy
9 l pledge Lo be boLh a healer and a lover for my parLner and myself
10 l pledge Lo use my sexual energy wlsely and [udlclously for lncreased selfconfldence
genLleness power pleasure harmony and freedom for myself my
beloveds and oLhers ln Lhls world
1he LeasL ?ou need Lo know
1he pracLlces of LanLrlc sex can lead you Lo more saLlsfylng bllssful sex buL
even more lmporLanL Lo hlgher sLaLes of consclousness and beLLer relaLlonshlps
AlLhough LanLrlc sex pracLlces orlglnaLed ln anclenL LasLern culLures Lhey can
be easlly lnLegraLed lnLo Lhe WesLern way of llfe
1anLrlc sexual pracLlces have many physlcal emoLlonal lnLerpersonal and splrlLual
beneflLs
Anyone can follow LanLrlc sex pracLlces as long as Lhey are wllllng Lo make
changes ln Lhelr aLLlLudes and behavlors and make a commlLmenL Lo an honorable
and respecLful way of llfe

ChapLer 2
1he 8aslcs ?es
?ln ?ang ?onl
and ?ab ?um
ln 1hls ChapLer
Achlevlng balance and unlLlng male and female yln and yang Shlva and ShakLl
A LesL of opposlLes
1he lovemaklng poslLlon of yab yum
Sex as energy noL [usL an acL
new Lerms for lovers and sex organs
SeLLlng boundarles of yes" and no"
now LhaL you are embarklng on Lhe sLudy of LanLrlc sex you'll flnd yourself changlng
how you vlew cerLaln aspecLs of yourself your relaLlonshlps and Lhe worlda paradlgm
shlfL from whaL llkely ls famlllar or comforLable for you 1hrough your new exploraLlon
you wlll learn Lo look beyond Lhe physlcal belng Lo see Lhe dlvlnlLy ln every
man and woman ?ou'll vlew sex as sacred and splrlLual raLher Lhan slmply a physlcal
acL WhaL's more you'll learn a new language of love as you progress Lo hlgher sLaLes
of consclousness and bllss
As you embark on Lhls [ourney suspend any llmlLlng bellefs of how you Lhlnk you
have Lo be whaL you Lhlnk you need from a lover and whaL has Lo happen ln sex for
you Lo be fulfllled As you read Lhls chapLer allow yourself Lo embrace new ldeas
abouL who you are whaL a really happy parLnershlp enLalls and how Lo have Lruly
greaL sex
20
ln Lhls chapLer l'll lnLroduce you Lo Lhose baslc concepLs and pracLlces of LanLrlc sex
LhaL are lmporLanL Lo your undersLandlng of Lhls exclLlng new way of llfe and lovlng
CeL ready Lo sLreLchl promlse lL wlll be worLh lL!
?ln and ?ang WhaL ls Male and WhaL ls lemale?
l'm sure you're famlllar wlLh LradlLlonal sLereoLypes of men as asserLlve and powerful
and women as sofL and nurLurlng We also know Loo well Lhe crlLlclsms LhaL men
don'L express feellngs (Lhlnklng LhaL's a female" Lhlng Lo do) and LhaL women don'L
speak up or Lake credlL for whaL Lhey do (characLerlsLlcs consldered more male")
lorLunaLely an lncreaslng number of men and women are allowlng Lhemselves a
broader range of behavlors
1anLrlc sex mlghL seem Lo afflrm Lhese opposlLe characLerlsLlcs slnce a fundamenLal
prlnclple of LanLra ls LhaL male and female are consldered polar opposlLes Accordlng
Lo LasLern Lheory yln represenLs femlnlne characLerlsLlcs and yang represenLs mascullne
LralLs Powever LhaL's noL Lo say LhaL a woman can'L be yang" and a male yln"
8aLher Lhan Laklng Lhls prlnclple llLerally Lry Lo lmaglne male and female as energles
1he paLh Lo bllss ln LanLra ls Lhe unlon of Lhese Lwo powerful forces
1he Clrcle of Coupled
Consclousness
?ou've undoubLedly seen Lhe clrcular yln yang symbol
before wlLh one whlLe and one black slde lL's Lhe classlc
Chlnese symbol of Lhe male and female energles
unlLlng lnLo a whole Accordlng Lo LasLern Lheory Lhe
clrcle represenLs Lhe unlon of yln as Lhe femlnlne or
female energy and yang as Lhe mascullne or male energy
?ang ls Lhe force of faLher heaven sky and all
LhaL ls loglcal and peneLraLlng ?ln ls Lhe femlnlne
force of Lhe earLh and moLher represenLlng aspecLs of
belng LhaL are nurLurlng and recepLlve
?ang ls qulck Lo flre whereas yln ls slow Lo heaL 1hlnk
of how slmllar Lhls ls Lo Lhe Lyplcal sexual response
cycle of men and womenhe's always so ready for sex
whlle she needs more romance Lo geL ln Lhe mood (ln
facL men need only Lhree mlnuLes Lo geL exclLed
whereas lL Lakes women flfLeen mlnuLes Lo reach
equlvalenL arousal)
?ang corresponds Lo Lhe upper parL of Lhe body lncludlng Lhe LhroaL braln and
power cenLer whlle yln ls llnked Lo Lhe hearL and lower body (Lhe womb and sexual
organs) (l'll dlscuss more abouL Lhese energy cenLers ln Lhe nexL chapLer) Agaln
LcsLasy LssenLlals
1anLra asserLs LhaL all problems
fears and unhapplness ln relaLlonshlps
derlve from Lhe feellng
LhaL we are noL whole and are
searchlng Lo compleLe Lhe unfulfllled
parLs of ourselves ?eL each
of us has Lhe capaclLy Lo embrace
our male and female energles
Lo become whole and Lo
come LogeLher ln a healLhy
unlon
21
ChapLer 2 1he 8aslcs ?es ?ln ?ang ?onl and ?ab ?um
Lhese ldeas are conslsLenL wlLh sLereoLypes LhaL men are more ln Lhelr heads"
and lnLo power whlle women are more ln Louch wlLh Lhelr body and emoLlons
1anLrlc sex pracLlces glve you speclflc Lools dlsclpllned pracLlces and fun games
LhaL brlng Lhese Lwo parLs and characLerlsLlcs lnLo balanceLo asslsL your [ourney
Lo cosmlc bllss
1he Chlnese symbol of
Lhe unlon of yln and
yang
Shlva and ShakLl
AnoLher common lmage ln LanLrlc LradlLlon ls Lhe Plndu couple ln Lhe form of Lord
Shlva and hls female consorL Lhe Coddess ShakLl Pe ls consldered Lhe mlghLy creaLor
and she Lhe essence of energy 1helr symbollc unlon lnsplres us Lo expecL Lo be
LreaLed llke a god or goddess and Lo surrender Lo Lhe god or goddess ln our parLner
(l'll dlscuss more abouL how honorlng ln Lhls way leads Lo sacred love and maglcal
sex ln ChapLer 4 Awaken and Worshlp Lhe Cod and Coddess ln ?ou" and ln arL 3
Maklng Ma[or rogress on Lhe aLh Lo LcsLasy" 1here you'll learn exacLly how Lo
LreaL each oLher Lo have awesome and enllvenlng lovlng experlences)
Lord Shlva and Coddess
ShakLl
22
Shlva's male energy also represenLs bllss and ShakLl's female energy represenLs wlsdom
anoLher maglcal comblnaLlon of Lwo essenLlal elemenLs necessary Lo reach enllghLenmenL
1he perfecL palr ls ofLen deplcLed ln sLaLues and palnLlngs ln many
enLwlned poslLlonsembraclng slLLlng sLandlng balanclng on one leg or danclng
wlLh ShakLl wrapped around Shlva's body or hlked on hls hlps (uanclng as l'll Lell
you laLer ln Lhls book ls a sacred rlLual Lo free Lhe splrlL and faclllLaLe enllghLenmenL)
1he palr also mlghL be slLLlng lnslde a loLus (a planL ln Lhe waLer llly famlly consldered
ln Plndulsm Lo be Lhe source of llfe)
CeLLlng ln 1ouch wlLh CpposlLes
1o reach Lhe ldeal balance of opposlLe energles flrsL you musL recognlze any dlvlslons
you have made Look aL Lhe followlng llsL of sLereoLyplc characLerlsLlcs Clrcle Lhe ones
LhaL you ldenLlfy wlLh or LhaL besL descrlbe you 8ead
Lhe opposlLe quallLy and see lf you can lmaglne belng
llke LhaL as well Add some oLher quallLles you can
Lhlnk of
SLrong Weak
Pappy Sad
AcLlve asslve
Angry eaceful
PaLeful Lovlng
Cold PoL
LlghL uark
Loglcal LmoLlonal
Sun Moon
CLher
CLher
lmaglne golng from one exLreme Lo Lhe oLher and Lhen whaL lL would be llke Lo embrace
boLh characLerlsLlcs
Achlevlng 8alance and unlon of CpposlLes
An ulLlmaLe goal of LanLrlc sex ls Lo balance polarlLles whlch you explored ln Lhe prevlous
exerclse ulfferenL culLures mlghL use dlfferenL Lerms buL all slmllarly search
for balance of opposlLes and use rlLuals Lo achleve sacred unlon of male and female
1anLra 1uLorlal
1he lefL slde of Lhe body ls consldered
Lhe recelvlng slde (yln)
Lherefore many LanLrlc sex pracLlces
l Lell you abouL ln Lhls book
are meanL Lo be done whlle gazlng
malnly lnLo your parLner's
lefL eye or by vlsuallzlng energy
enLerlng Lhrough your lefL hand
and flowlng ouL Loward your
parLner wlLh your rlghL hand
23
energles Some of Lhese pracLlces seem esoLerlc Lo us oLhers are famlllar lor example
prayers lnvoke boLh energles as ln Cod's wlll be done on earLh as lL ls ln heaven" ln
LanLrlc pracLlce energy from heaven (also consldered maleyang or faLher" energy)
has Lo unlLe wlLh energy from earLh (also consldered
femaleyln and moLher" energy) ln a cosmlc
clrcle ln order Lo reach Lhe deslred hlgher
sLaLes of bllss
eople ofLen ask me wheLher opposlLes really aLLracL
1hlnk of your pasL relaLlonshlps Pave you
and your parLner been opposlLes ln any way?
erhaps one of you was Lhe pursuer and Lhe oLher
Lhe pursued erhaps one was more emoLlonal and
Lhe oLher more raLlonal one more exLravaganL and
Lhe oLher more prudenL 1hese coupllngs are common
and represenL Lhe self seeklng balance 1hese
relaLlonshlps can cerLalnly work and belng dlfferenL
can creaLe exclLemenL buL lL's unhealLhy Lo
seek an opposlLe Lo fulflll a parL of you LhaL ls lacklng
(as ln Lhe case of a woman chooslng a man
who ls exLremely loglcal because she feels Loo
emoLlonal)
oslLlon ?ourselves for Love ln ?ab ?um
1he Plndu Lerm yab yum refers Lo Lhe poslLlon
you mlghL have seen ln LanLrlc arL 1he man slLs
wlLh legs crossed and Lhe female sLraddles ln hls
lap Lhelr legs are wrapped around each oLher and
lf posslble meeL behlnd Lhe back (Lhe same poslLlon
ls called Cranes wlLh necks lnLerLwlned ln
Chlnese) ?ab yum represenLs Lhe unlon of opposlLes
llke Lhe male and female forces of yln and
yang 1hls poslLlon accompllshes several goals
as lL
Lnables lovers Lo look dlrecLly ln each
oLher's eyes
Allgns Lhelr energy cenLers (someLhlng l'll
dlscuss ln Lhe nexL chapLer)
Clves easy access Lo each oLher's bodles
1anLra 1uLorlal
ln anclenL Llmes among cerLaln
groups androgyny (belng boLh
male and female) was honored
and hermaphrodlLes (people
born wlLh genlLalla of boLh
sexes) represenLed perfecLlon
When assumlng Lhe yab yum poslLlon
choose a place Lo slL LhaL
ls comforLable for you LxperlmenL
(Lry slLLlng ln a chalr) use
a plllow Lo be more comforLable
and allgned especlally lf one
parLner ls much shorLer Lhan Lhe
oLher
24
Sex as LnergynoL AcLlvlLy
Sex ln Lhe WesLern world has all Loo ofLen been a maLLer of performance (how much
Lhe woman moans how long Lhe man lasLs) or behavlors (such as oral sex or lnLercourse)
1anLrlc sex redeflnes whaL sex lsnoL as an
acLlon buL as movemenL of energy wlLhln you lndlvldually
and beLween you and your parLner 1he pracLlces
gulde you Lo generaLe sexual energy Lransform lL
lnLo love energy and LransmlL lL Lo your parLner and
even Lo Lhe unlverse (l'll dlscuss Lhls furLher and glve
you speclflc Lechnlques on how Lo do Lhls ln arL 3)
My arLner My 8eloved
1anLra ls abouL sacred love so Lhe parLner ls consldered
a beloved Lo be honored cherlshed and loved uncondlLlonally
use Lhe Lerm beloved" when you speak
Lo your parLner and see how [usL Lhe word alone
arouses lovlng feellngs Say !ohn my beloved l
would llke Lo " Also when speaklng abouL your
Couple slLLlng ln yab yum
poslLlon
A man's energy enLers" Lhe
woman (and vlce versa) Lhrough
peneLraLlon or Lhe exchange of
body flulds an lmporLanL reason
Lo be selecLlve abouL wlLh whom
you have a sexual embrace or
physlcal encounLer
23
parLner Lo someone else refer Lo hlm or her as
My beloved " lL mlghL seem sLrange aL flrsL
buL you wlll also be sendlng ouL LhaL lovlng energy
Lo Lhe person wlLh whom you are speaklng
who wlll share ln LhaL love
WhaL uo ?ou Call ?our Sex
Crgans? 1he new 1erms for ?onl
and Llngam
1anLrlc sex also glves you a new vocabulary for
Lhe genlLals Lo honor Lhe sacredness of Lhose
parLs of Lhe body and Lhelr role ln sex l'll Lell you
abouL Lhese shorLly buL flrsL lL's lmporLanL Lo
ldenLlfy how you already feel by Lhe labels you
use Look over Lhls llsL of names for Lhe female
and male genlLalla and add any oLhers you can
Lhlnk of Clrcle Lhe ones LhaL you feel sound poslLlve
and make you feel good abouL yourself and
your body or your parLner's body uL an x Lhrough
Lhe ones LhaL you feel are negaLlve and pe[oraLlve
vaglna CllLorls ussy
Momma llps uown Lhere !ewel gaLe (!apanese)
leasure poL MysLlc rose uoorway of llfe (Chlnese)
Challce Sacred cave kohe (Pawallan)
CunL CLher _____________ CLher ______________
now do Lhe same for words LhaL refer Lo Lhe male genlLalla
enls hallus (Creek) rlck
ecker Whonker 1hlng
!ohnson Whacker eLer
lamlly [ewels Arrow of love !ade fluLe (Chlnese)
Wand of llghL CLher ____________ CLher ____________
Conslder uslng Lhese words for genlLalla (as l wlll be dolng LhroughouL Lhls book)
from Lhe LanLrlc sex LradlLlons
?onl ls a SanskrlL word meanlng womb" and source" lL refers Lo Lhe vaglna a
woman's sacred Lemple
LcsLasy LssenLlals
1anLrlc sex ls commonly assoclaLed
wlLh Lhe kama SuLra Lhe
anclenL Plndu LexLs of love LhaL
conLaln advlce on love and many
poslLlons for lovemaklng Some
of Lhese wlll be presenLed ln arL
3 where l'll Lell you abouL many
speclflc pracLlces for pleaslng
your parLner
26
Sacred space refers Lo Lhe dlvlne lnsldes of Lhe
female meanL Lo be LreaLed wlLh greaL reverence
as lL ls Lhe source of ShakLl female power
and femlnlne dlvlne energy
earl ls a word for Lhe cllLorls
Llngam va[ra or LhunderbolL refer respecLfully
Lo Lhe male phallus and evoke Lhe male energy
of Lhe Plndu Lord Shlva
A new vlew of ueslre
?ou feel deslre every Llme you feel Lhe urge Lo have
someLhlng you Lhlnk wlll make you feel beLLer 1haL
chlck ls hoL" you mlghL say abouL how a woman
looks or l wanL LhaL guy" you mlghL exclalm abouL a
man you Lhlnk wlll make your dreams come Lrue
1hese deslres can come from feellng lncompleLe expresslng
Lhe feellng LhaL lf only l had (hlm or her
Lhls or LhaL) l would be happy" reflecLlng a needlness
and drlvlng you Lo possess someone or someLhlng
lronlcally once you have whaL you deslre you ofLen
become dlslllusloned for example you mlghL search
for someone preLLler rlcher or more lnLeresLlng
1hrough LanLrlc sex pracLlces you are no longer desperaLe
or aLLached Lo superflclal needs allowlng you
Lo creaLe healLhler relaLlonshlps
Lmpowered Lo Say ?es"
or no"
When people are empowered Lo seL Lhelr boundarles
boLh ln sex and ln general Lhey galn valued selfesLeem
ln LanLrlc sex you are ln charge of your body
and soul A lover should always ask your permlsslon Lo
enLer your sacred space and you have Lhe rlghL Lo say
yes or no Are you ready Lo say no Lo belng dlsrespecLed
pressured lnLo sex Louched ln a way LhaL
makes you uncomforLable? When you speak your
LruLh ln Lhls way your parLner ls empowered as well by knowlng your llmlLs and
how Lo please you Are you also ready Lo say yes Lo longer lovemaklng ecsLasy ln
mulLlple orgasms deeper saLlsfacLlon and lnLlmacy splrlLual love connecLed Lo bllssful
sex? lf so you've come Lo Lhe rlghL book!
uslng LanLrlc Lerms mlghL feel
sLllLed Lo you or your parLner aL
flrsL buL wlLh pracLlce lL wlll become
more comforLable and lnfuse
you wlLh poslLlve energy
Ponorlng words convey more respecL
racLlce saylng l adore
your llngam" or WhaL a beauLlful
yonl"
LcsLasy LssenLlals
Asklng permlsslon of your parLner
for any sexual acL (or anyLhlng
else) you would llke honors Lhe
oLher person and ls a rule of
LanLrlc sex l'll dlscuss Lhls ln
more deLall ln ChapLers 10
Clvlng Per Lhe 8esL nlghLs
Lver" and 11 Clvlng Plm Lhe
8esL nlghLs Lver" whlch cover
pleaslng your parLner
27
1aklng Care of ?our 8ody 1emple
Accordlng Lo LanLra your body ls your Lemple 1o reach enllghLenmenL Lhrough
LanLrlc sex you have Lo Lake care of LhaL Lemple Any flLness rouLlne you prefer ls
helpful alLhough many LanLrlc pracLlLloners mlx Lhelr sexual pracLlces wlLh some
form of yoga (a genLle cholce) ?oglc poses have rooLs ln LanLrlc lovemaklng poslLlons
from anclenL LexLs (alLhough Lhey also became Lhe rouLe Lo asceLlclsm and absLlnence)
8ead more abouL useful lnLeresLlng and fun rouLlnes you can use lndlvldually
or wlLh a parLner ln ChapLers 6 Amp up or uamp uown ?our Sexual Lnergy"
and ln 14 CeLLlng llL 1ogeLher for 1anLrlc Sex
1anLrlc sex pracLlces also balance Lhe opposlLes of medlLaLlon and acLlvaLlon 1hls ls
done Lhrough breaLhlng pracLlces whlch send breaLh Lhrough your body as l'll Lell
you abouL ln Lhe nexL chapLer
1anLrlc sex lnvolves Lhe unlon and balance of opposlLes female and male energles
referred Lo as yln and yang LhaL symbollze dark and llghL moon and sun
recelvlng and glvlng heaven and earLh
?ab yum Lhe poslLlon for lovemaklng descrlbed ln anclenL Plndu LexLs ln
whlch Lhe woman slLs ln Lhe man's lap helps allgn energles necessary for a
powerful LanLrlc love connecLlon
1anLrlc sex ls noL slmply an acL buL Lhe bulldup movemenL and Lransmlsslon
of energy Lhrough your own body and beLween you and a parLner
SeLLlng boundarles by saylng yes or no Lo whaL you wanL bullds selfesLeem
and empowermenL LhaL ls essenLlal for a healLhy lnLeracLlon wlLh a parLner ln
LanLrlc sex
Ponorlng and respecLlng your parLner ls essenLlal ln LanLrlc sex lL ls accompllshed
by asklng permlsslon for any sexual acL and ln uslng Lerms llke
beloved" Lo refer Lo your parLner and sacred space" yonl" and llngam"
Lo refer Lo sexual organs

ChapLer 3
Splnnlng ?our
Wheels and
8reaLhlng
Lo LcsLasy
ln 1hls ChapLer
owerful breaLhlng Lechnlques for beLLer sex
1he chakra wheels keep splnnlng seven energy cenLers ln Lhe body
Seelng love more clearly Lhrough Lhe Lhlrd eye
Sounds LhaL evoke bllss
Symbols LhaL evoke ecsLasy
1he lnner smlle necessary for [oy
?ou wlll explore many sacred pracLlces ln Lhls book l promlse all wlll be fasclnaLlng
and fun 1hey wlll lnclude uslng slghLs sounds and symbols ln your [ourney Lo bllss
l'll Lell you abouL Lhese ln Lhls chapLer
Powever all requlre one pracLlce also presenLed ln Lhls chapLer lL's someLhlng LhaL
you are dolng aL Lhls very mlnuLe breaLhlng 8reaLhlng properly and dlrecLlng Lhe
breaLh ls essenLlal Lo reach Lhe deepesL posslble lnLlmacy and hlghesL posslble sLaLes of
ecsLasy
1he lmporLance of ?our 8reaLh
roper breaLhlng supplles necessary oxygen Lo your cells and frees emoLlons and sensuallLy
lL can lead Lo euphorla and even orgasm 1he breaLh ls key Lo lasLlng longer ln
sex havlng more lnLense orgasms and feellng more lnLlmaLe love Sounds slmple
30
doesn'L lL? Pold on! 1here's Lhe problem We hold our breaLh Loo much! Pow are you
breaLhlng now? no doubL lL's shallow and barely expandlng your chesL Shallow
breaLhlng ls noL healLhy!
Pere are Lhree slmple pracLlces l Leach people LhaL you can do now for blgger breaLh
1he Source of Llfe noLlce Lhe place ln your body from whlch your breaLh ls
comlng ls lL from your LhroaL chesL or sLomach area? Make a dellberaLe efforL
Lo make lL come from deeper wlLhln your body WlLh each breaLh Lrace Lhe
breaLh and brlng your hand Lo where lL sLops before you exhale Lower your
hand and make Lhe breaLh come from as low down as your genlLals 1haL ls key
Lo flrlng up your sex energy
Lgg Lo Lagle 1hls one ls greaL Lo do lf you're slLLlng Lxhale as you crunch
down lnLo a ball brlnglng your elbows ln close Lo your body and resLlng your
hands genLly on Lhe back of your head leel Lhe sLreLch across and down your
back along your splne lnhale llfLlng up slowly and sLreLch Lo brlng your elbows
as far back behlnd you as you can leel Lhe sLreLch ln your chesL Lhrow your
chesL ouL and arch your back leel all Lhe alr rushlng lnLo your lungs 8epeaL
1he 8ellows 1he goal of Lhls exerclse ls Lo Lake ln as much alr as posslble by
lmaglnlng LhaL your lungs are a bellows keep your arms comforLably by your
slde 8low all your alr ouL forcefully maklng a loud whoosh" and Lhen suck ln
as much alr as posslble wlLh as much nolse ConLlnue Laklng longer breaLhs and
maklng louder nolses leel beLLer already? (1hese are sounds you wlll evenLually
emlL durlng sexual experlencesfreer sounds allow more lnLense sexual
responses)
Why We uon'L 8reaLhe CorrecLly
1he more alr you geL Lhe beLLer your body braln and organs are fueled Lhe more relaxed
you are and Lhe clearer your Lhlnklng ls 1he facL ls LhaL many facLors lnhlblL
our breaLh Are your cloLhes Loo LlghL? uon'L be valn
my whole llfe changed for Lhe beLLer once l sLarLed
wearlng looser cloLhes elasLlc walsLbands and easlerflLLlng
cloLhes! ls your posLure Lerrlble? uo you slump
llke l do over Lhe compuLer?
Some causes of poor breaLhlng are more dlfflculL Lo
ldenLlfy or change uo you have a physlcal dlsorder?
Slde effecLs from medlcaLlons? undlagnosed food allergles?
(My llfe and breaLhlng also changed for Lhe beLLer
once l reallzed how creamy foods creaLed phlegm
ln my LhroaL and lnhlblLed my breaLhlngnoL good
for my work on Lhe radlo!)
uon'L worry (llke l used Lo) lf
you yawn LhaL's a good slgn your
body ls Laklng ln more alr!
31
ChapLer 3 Splnnlng ?our Wheels and 8reaLhlng Lo LcsLasy
AnoLher faulL lles ln fear Shallow alr proLecLs us wlLh shallow feellngs LmoLlons can
come floodlng ouL wlLh lnLense breaLhlng lor Lhls resulL many LanLrlc workshops lnclude
emoLlonal release exerclses
1anLra 1ales
Cne paLlenL of mlne klm proLesLed LhaL her boyfrlend dld noL love her enough 8uL
when l asked her Lo Lake deep breaLhs and focus on her body sensaLlons she reslsLed
Whenever she complled floods of Lears would fall reveallng her paln as a llLLle glrl desperaLely
wanLlng love buL deep down belng afrald LhaL lf she recelved lL she would lose
lL So she kepL Lhe breaLhand Lhe loveaL a dlsLance WlLh encouragemenL and undersLandlng
she was able Lo Lake deep breaLhs allow Lhe emoLlons and feel more loved
1he Chakra Wheels
LnergeLlcs ls Lhe ln" word of Lhe new mlllennlum lL means focuslng on energy
hyslclsLs agree LhaL everyLhlng ln our world ls energy 1hlnk of how we Lalk abouL
belng drawn Lo someone llke a magneL" or feel elecLrlclLy" ln Lhelr presenceall
slgns of energy
Accordlng Lo LanLrlc phllosophy energy cenLers
known as chakras go along an lmaglnary axls down
Lhe core of our physlcal body from Lhe boLLom of
our pelvls Lo Lop of our head 1hese are noL physlcal
enLlLles buL subLle energy flelds assoclaLed wlLh
dlfferenL quallLles lf you could see Lhem Lhey
would look llke energy forces splnnlng ln a wheel
ouL of seven dlfferenL cenLers ln your body 8elng
famlllar wlLh Lhese chakras ls cruclal Lo all Lhe
pracLlces you wlll learn ln Lhls book
1he second chakra locaLed ln your genlLal area ls
Lhe seaL of Lhe powerful force LhaL l wlll keep referrlng
Lo LhroughouL Lhls book because lL ls key Lo
all Lhe pracLlces LhaL you wlll learn Lo conLrol and
dlrecLLhrough breaLh and oLher movemenLsLo
brlng you Lo deeper levels of lnLlmacy and hlgher
levels of enllghLenmenL and bllss
1anLra 1uLorlal
Chakra ls a SanskrlL word for
wheel dlsc or hub 8aLher Lhan
belng physlcal enLlLles or polnLs
Lhey are besL consldered as cenLers
or energy forces
32
1he followlng chakra charL shows Lhe colors sounds and lssues assoclaLed wlLh each
energy cenLer 1he quesLlons ln Lhe charL reveal wheLher you have sLrengLh or blocks
ln LhaL area 1he ldea ls Lo focus on a parLlcular chakra (area of your body) and reclLe
Lhe sound assoclaLed wlLh lL or Lhlnk abouL Lhe parLlcular color Lo connecL wlLh Lhe
energy ln LhaL cenLer
AnoLher approach ln uslng Lhls charL ls Lo read Lhe lssues and quesLlons and see
whlch ones are relevanL Lo you (elLher LhaL you feel good or bad abouL Lhem) 1hen
focus on Lhe chakra color and sound ln order Lo sLrengLhen yourself regardlng LhaL
lssue lor example lf you're feellng sLlfled ln expresslng yourself (Lhe flfLh chakra)
puL your hand on your LhroaL vlsuallze Lhe color blue and repeaL Lhe sound ham"
Lo glve yourself more courage Lo speak up
Chakra CharL LvaluaLlon
Chakra Color ManLra lssue CuesLlon(s)
(1) 8ase 8ed Lam SecurlLy uo you feel
lnsecure needy
helpless? Cr safe
secure grounded?
(2) Sex Crange vam Lnergy uo you feel
undeslrable and
lnhlblLed? Cr sexy
and allve?
Lnergy cenLers or
chakras and Lhelr
aspecLs
33
(3) Solar plexus ?ellow 8am ower uo you feel
weak LhreaLened
powerless? Cr
confldenL and
worLhy?
(4) PearL Creen ?am Love uo you feel unloved
and abandoned?
Cr lovlng and
compasslonaLe?
(3) 1hroaL 8lue Pam Lxpresslon uo you feel
unheard
mlsundersLood
passlve? Cr
expresslve and
LruLhful?
(6) 1hlrd eye urple Coo vlslon uo you feel
unclear
unauLhenLlc
confused? Cr
lnsplred and
lnLulLlve?
(7) Crown vloleL Cmm LnllghLenmenL uo you feel splrlLually
vold and
dlsconnecLed?
Cr enllghLened
ecsLaLlc and
cosmlcally
connecLed?
ln anoLher exerclse you can chanL Lhe sounds one by one (Lhey are anclenL SanskrlL
words) as a way Lo connecL wlLh each chakra and Lherefore have an experlence of
movlng your energy Lhrough your body
8reaLhe 1hrough Lhe Chakras
?our breaLhlng pracLlces help you creaLe a clear channel ln your body Lhrough whlch
alr can Lravel pasL Lhese chakras cleanslng feedlng and fuellng you Alr golng
Lhrough a clear channel ln your body ls called an lnner fluLe because of lLs sweeL fluLellke
sound ?ou Lhen can send your breaLh Lo your parLner who wlll cycle lL Lhrough
hls or her chakras and reLurn lL fuellng and empowerlng you boLh
As you breaLhe plcLure Lhe breaLh golng Lhrough Lhe chakras 1ry Lhe followlng Lwo
exerclses
Chakra Color ManLra lssue CuesLlon(s)
34
1he compleLe breaLh relaxes you lnhale deeply lnLo your lower belly and chesL
(unLll lL pouches ouL llke a conLenLed 8uddha) ?ou can do Lhls on your own or
wlLh a parLner elLher face Lo face or back Lo back Sadly many people reslsL
dolng Lhls breaLh feellng unaLLracLlve wlLh Lhelr belly popplng ouL buL lL ls a
good breaLh Lo do ln Lhe mlddle of sex Say LeL's do Lhe 8uddha breaLh" and
press your bellles and chesLs agalnsL each oLher
ln conLrasL as lLs name suggesLs Lhe flre breaLh flres you up 1ake conLlnual
rapld breaLhs ln and ouL of Lhe nose (llke snorLlng) causlng your sLomach Lo pulsaLe
qulckly ?ou can acceleraLe Lhe energy even more by ralslng and lowerlng
your arms (a famlllar moLlon lf you exerclse on a sLaLlonary blke)
Cnce you geL your lndlvldual breaLhlng golng beLLer you are ready Lo breaLh wlLh a
parLner for more powerful love connecLlons Cne word of cauLlon however 1oo
much energy ln Lhe braln before you are prepared Lo handle lL can cause you Lo llLerally
blow your fuse" llke Loo many elecLrlcal appllances ln an ouLleL 1hls resulLs ln
headaches confuslon passlng ouL or even a panlc aLLack lor Lhls reason lL's a good
ldea Lo Lake a workshop abouL LanLrlc sex lf you are golng Lo pracLlce Lhe Lechnlques
lnLensely
Synchronlzlng breaLh ln Lhls exerclse you breaLhe ln and ouL aL Lhe same
Llme as your parLner Lo geL on Lhe same wavelengLh SlL comforLably crosslegged
faclng each oLher on a plllow lf necessary as long as your splne ls sLralghL Clve
each oLher a wlnk or Louch Lo slgnal your paclng AfLer a whlle close your eyes
Lo sense each oLher's energy paLLern
8eclprocal breaLh ln Lhls breaLh lmaglne LhaL you are exchanglng alr lnhallng
your parLner's breaLh (or lmaglne breaLhlng for each oLher) SlL ln Lhe yab
yum poslLlon and lnhale whlle your parLner exhales Lhen exhale whlle your
parLner lnhales
8eclprocal breaLh exchanglng
energy beLween
beloveds
ClrculaLlng breaLh lor Lhls breaLh lnhale
lmaglnlng energy rlslng up from
your sex cenLer (second chakra) Lhrough
your body (passlng Lhrough all Lhe
chakras as llsLed ln Lhe prevlous Lable)
Lravellng Lo Lhe Lop of your head Lhen
back down Lo your genlLals and Lhe base
of your splne on Lhe exhale lcLure Lraclng
a loop lnslde yourself and Lhen ouL Lo
a parLner racLlces can be called by dlfferenL
names by dlfferenL dlsclpllnes 1hus
Lhe Plndu clrculaLlng breaLh ls known Lo
Chlnese 1aolsLs as Lhe Mlcrocosmlc CrblL
or Lhe Colden Clrcle
33
8llss breaLh lnhale deeply Lhrough your mouLh and exhale naLurally and conLlnuously
allowlng any naLural sounds Smlle
LcsLaLlc breaLhlng 1o do Lhls breaLh lle on your back wlLh your knees up and
lnhale long slow breaLhs Lhrough Lhe mouLh counLlng Lo flve expandlng Lhe
abdomen and creaLlng an archway under Lhe small of Lhe back Lxhale Lo Lhe
1anLra 1ales
l've counseled many paLlenLs
who sLarL crylng when Lhey really
look deeply ln a lovlng parLner's
eyes and breaLhe uon'L be
alarmed by Lhls 1he experlence
can Lrlgger deep feellngs abouL
flnally experlenclng love you always
wanLed buL never had
ClrculaLlng breaLh cycllng
energy Lhrough beloveds'
bodles
36
counL of flve brlnglng your back Lo Lhe floor and LllLlng your pelvls sllghLly
upward Allow Lhe alr Lo rush lnLo Lhe chesL openlng your LhroaL 8epeaL
rhyLhmlcally Lo creaLe a wavellke moLlon LhroughouL Lhe body 8elease any
LlghLness ln Lhe LhroaL neck chesL shoulders abdomen buLLocks or pelvls by
purposefully LlghLenlng and Lhen releaslng Lhe muscles ln Lhose areas Allow
sounds and feellngs (sadness anger [oy) Lo emerge freely on Lhe exhale 1hls
Lechnlque has been developed by Lorl SLar ln her Callfornla CelebraLlons of
Love" courses (see Appendlx 8 Workshops Web SlLes 1eachers and 1anLra
CommunlLles")
arLner pelvlc passlon breaLh l named Lhls
breaLh LhaL way because lL really perks up your
passlon by lnLenslfylng Lhe energy creaLed by
Lhe clrculaLlng breaLh wlLh Lhe pelvlc holds LhaL
l wlll explaln ln ChapLer 3 rep ?our 8ody
1emple of Love" An addlLlonal beneflL resulLs
from presslng your hearL chakras LogeLher Lle
slde by slde or slL face Lo face wlLh Lhe woman
ln Lhe man's lap (yab yum poslLlon) keep eye
conLacL whlle you lnhale and exhale LogeLher Lo
a counL of flve and draw Lhe breaLh up from
Lhe base of your splne Lo Lhe Lop of Lhe head
and back down agaln CreaLe a cycle of breaLh
wlLh one of you lnhallng whlle Lhe oLher exhales
lmaglne sendlng love ouL Lo your parLner
and recelvlng love from your parLner wlLh each
breaLh CenLly press your hearL areas LogeLher
?ou can amp up or damp down your arousal
by pumplng your pelvlc muscles (see ChapLer 3
for a full descrlpLlon of Lhese) Lo force more
breaLhand Lherefore more energylnLo your
body
1anLra 1uLorlal
1he cobra breaLh lnvolves a parLlcular
paLLern of breaLhlng wlLh
moves and lmagery LhaL are
powerful Lools for mlnd expanslon
(lnvoklng Lhe shape of a
snake) 1o ensure LhaL LanLra sLudenLs
are prepared for lLs powerful
effecLs some LradlLlons llke
1anLrlka lnLernaLlonal lnslsL LhaL
Lhls breaLh be LaughL orally and
only by Lhose glven permlsslon
Lo do so by experlenced LanLra
Leachers
LcsLaLlc breaLhlng
37
1he 1hlrd Lye as Wlndow Lo Lhe Soul
no doubL you have heard Lhe phrase 1he eyes are Lhe wlndow Lo Lhe soul" ln
LanLra Lhe mosL effecLlve door Lo your soul ls noL your real eyes buL LhaL symbollc
eye called Lhe Lhlrd eye (acLually lL's behlnd your
eyes ln Lhe mlddle of your braln) Cpenlng your
Lhlrd eye helps you delve deeper lnLo your own
belng and connecL on a hlgher level wlLh your
loved one (lorLunaLely more men Lhese days seem
Lo wanL Lhe lnLlmacy LhaL women have always
craved LhaL klnd of connecLlon ls posslble only
when boLh people really wanL lL Lo happen) l
ofLen flnd myself puLLlng my mlddle flnger on LhaL
spoL on my forehead Lo connecL wlLh Lhe Lhlrd eye
deeper wlLhln lmaglnlng breaLhlng lnLo lL when l
wanL Lo Lap lnLo deep relaxaLlon and lnner
knowlng
Maklng All Lhe ConnecLlons
from Coccyx Lo Crown
?our energy needs Lo flow ln a clear channel wlLh
Lhe ma[or checkpolnLs belng Lhe chakra energy
cenLers AL one end ls Lhe base of Lhe splne aL Lhe
coccyx bone !usL above lL ls a Lrlangular area called
Lhe sacrum (you wlll laLer learn Lo Lap lL for energy)
Also ln Lhls area ls Lhe kunda gland Lhe
source of Lhe powerful kundallnl energy (or llfe
force) ?ou can see where Lhese are ln Lhe body on
Lhe followlng lllusLraLlon and also ln Lhe anaLomlcal
drawlngs ln oLher chapLers
1he breaLh carrles energy up Lhe splne and lnLo
Lhe braln ln varlous breaLhlng paLLerns Lhe breaLh
goes pasL Lhe prlmlLlve braln (medulla oblongaLa)
and Lhen you dlrecL lL Lo connecL Lhe vlLal plneal
and plLulLary glands 1hrough Lhls connecLlon god
and goddess (Shlva and ShakLl) energy can meeL ln
Lhe maglcal place ln beLween called Lhe [ewel ln
Lhe loLus"
1he mosL effecLlve breaLhlng pracLlce uslng Lhe chakras ls Lo lmaglne energy golng
Lhrough Lhem ln order from Lop Lo boLLom or vlce versa drawlng breaLh up from Lhe
base (or earLh) and Lo Lhe Lop of your head (Lhe sky)or Lhe opposlLe way down
from Lhe Lop of your head Lo Lhe base
1o help you wlLh dlfferenL
breaLhlng paLLerns play a Cu Lo
pace yourself LxcellenL cholces
are any of Cabrlelle 8oLh's Cus
Lhe Cu called 1anLrlc SexuallLy"
and Csho's uynamlc MedlLaLlon"
Cu (see Appendlx C
1anLrlc 1ools" for more
lnformaLlon)
1anLra 1uLorlal
Cne of Lhe besL books abouL
harnesslng sacred sex energy for
Lhe purpose of enllghLenmenL ls
!ewel ln Lhe LoLus by SunyaLa
SaraswaLl and 8odhl Avlnasha
(SunsLar ubllshers 1996)
38
?our lnner Smlle
Smlllng ls a powerful Lool for happlness and bllss lL boosLs your confldence and
makes you and everyone around you happler 8esearch has even proven LhaL smlllng
Lrlggers Lhe llmblc sysLem ln Lhe braln whlch ls Lhe cenLer for pleasure
?ou know abouL Lhe smlle LhaL ls vlslble on your face buL Lhere's anoLher smlle
LanLrlc pracLlce Leaches abouL lL's called Lhe lnner smlle ?ou lmaglne lL happenlng ln
Lhe back of your braln aL Lhe nape of your neck ln Lhe prlmlLlve braln lcLurlng lL
creaLes noL only a poslLlve aLLlLude buL helps you reach Lhe deslred sLaLe of bllss LhaL
LanLra ls all abouL uL your besL smlle on your face and lmaglne an equally broad
lnner smlle when you look aL your parLner and aL yourself ln Lhe mlrror 1hls wlll
boosL your selfesLeem and creaLe good energy ln your lnner and ouLer world
1he breaLh needs Lo follow
a clear channel up
Lhe splne and lnLo Lhe
braln
39
1ry Lhls exerclse Allow yourself Lo have any faclal expresslon even a scowl now purposefully
puL on an ouLer and lnner smlle and noLlce how your energy shlfLs Make
Lhls lnner smlle durlng any of Lhe exerclses descrlbed LhroughouL Lhls book
8e 8oLh arLlclpanL and Cbserver
key Lo sLllllng Lhe mlnd for LanLrlc sex (as well as many oLher medlLaLlve pracLlces) ls
belng ln a menLal sLaLe ln whlch you are slmulLaneously parLlclpanL and observer
1hls means LhaL you are dolng" aL Lhe same Llme as observlng yourself whlle you are
acLlng When you waLch yourself acL lL ls called belng Lhe wlLness 1hls ls a Lechnlque
LhaL helps you geL over a common problem LhaL lnLerferes wlLh good sex So many
men and women complaln abouL dlsLracLlng LhoughLs LhaL cause sexual performance
anxleLy for example Pow long can l lasL?" Wlll l please her?" uoes he Lhlnk l'm
aLLracLlve?" 1o solve Lhls problem ln LanLra you noLlce (wlLness) yourself havlng
Lhese LhoughLs (lnsLead of flghLlng Lhem as many people do whlch only makes Lhem
more perslsLenL!) and Lhen slmply refocus your aLLenLlon on your breaLh and Lhe sensaLlons
ln your body
ManLras
ManLras are spoken or sllenL sounds or a serles of sounds LhaL Lrlgger speclflc reacLlons
ln Lhe body and mlnd because Lhelr vlbraLlons correspond Lo speclflc chakras
8epeaL any sound and noLlce lLs hypnoLlc effecL
1ry drawlng ouL Lhe sound om" and feel Lhe vlbraLlon
move from your body up lnLo your head
1he sound helps you focus your mlnd and move
energy where you wanL lL ln your body ?ou probably
already know how sound can affecL you (and
send you lnLo oLher realms) when you llsLen Lo
your favorlLe muslc and feel sensaLlons ln your
body or feel llke you are carrled lnLo anoLher
world uslng sound ln manLras allows you Lo conLrol
whaL you feel and where your mlnd goes
ManLra sounds are usually shorL and repeLlLlve (Lo
help quleL Lhe mlnd) and range from a slngle word
(om") a llne (Cm Mane adme Pum") or a verse
(such as Lhe Lord's rayer) ?ou can reclLe a known
manLra or make up your own Any word or phrase
LhaL you en[oy saylng wlll work flne
?anLras
A yanLra ls a geomeLrlc flgure LhaL you concenLraLe
on Lo sLlll your mlnd and be sLlmulaLed by Lhe
1anLra 1uLorlal
1he commonly used SanskrlL
chanL Cm Mane adme Pum"
ls Lhe oldesL and mosL famous
8uddhlsL manLra wrlLLen on
prayer flags and chanLed Lhousands
of Llmes by 1lbeLan and
nepall people as well as LanLra
pracLlLloners lL expresses Lhe
ldea of enllghLenmenL Lhrough
unlon of male and female
ChanL lL for flve mlnuLes alone
or wlLh your parLner Lo creaLe a
peaceful and dellghLed space
40
parLlcular sLaLe LhaL Lhe symbols are meanL Lo evoke ln you 1he ldea ls Lo focus on Lhe
flgure and Lhen close your eyes leLLlng lL be pro[ecLed on your lnner menLal screen
1here are symbols relaLed Lo each of Lhe seven dlfferenL chakras 1hese yanLras are used
llke manLras Lo focus your energy on a parLlcular lssue relaLed Lo LhaL energy cenLer
1he slxpolnL SLar of uavld ls anoLher popular yanLra whlch l wlll Lalk more abouL ln
ChapLer 9 8reaklng 1hrough 8locks Lo 8llss"
Mandalas
Mandalas a klnd of yanLra are paLLerns wlLh concenLrlc rlngs LhaL come ouL from Lhe
cenLer and conLaln symbols flgures or forces of naLure (llke delLles waLerfalls or dolphlns)
LhaL reveal mysLerles of Lhe unlverse sychoanalysL Carl !ung ls credlLed wlLh
lnLroduclng mandalas lnLo Lhe WesL uslng Lhem as a Lherapy Lechnlque and map of
Lhe psyche Lo uncover Lhe mysLery of Lhe unconsclous and Lhe soul"
Callfornla arLlsL aul PeussensLamm a masLer of palnLlng mandalas (see Lhe followlng
lllusLraLlon) ofLen deplcLs paLLerns LhaL evoke LanLrlc sex lmagery ln Lhe unlon of god
and goddess surrounded ln exqulslLe naLure PeussensLamm makes cusLom mandalas
and Leaches classes on how Lo make Lhls arL ln Callfornla and on [ourneys Lo counLrles
llke lndla and nepal ?ou don'L have Lo Lhlnk of yourself as an arLlsL" he says
!usL close your eyes and noLlce Lhe llghLs and colors LhaL appear ln Lhe vlsual fleld
eople draw whaL Lhelr mlnd has con[ured up and lL glves you clues as Lo whaL's really
ln your soul" (See Appendlx 8 for conLacL lnformaLlon)
An orlglnal mandala
by arLlsL aul
PeussensLamm
41
8reaLhlng pracLlces are key Lo dlrecLlng sexual energy Lo oLher parLs of Lhe
body Lo connecL wlLh Lhe beloved malnLaln healLh achleve ecsLaLlc sLaLes
and melL lnLo unlLy
1here are seven energy cenLers called chakras LhroughouL Lhe body each assoclaLed
wlLh colors sounds and lssues 1anLrlc pracLlces help you connecL and
use Lhe energy ln Lhese cenLers Lo achleve deslred feellngs and connecLlons ln
yourself and ln a relaLlonshlp
racLlclng breaLhlng exerclses wlLh a parLner can greaLly lnLenslfy your love
connecLlon and achlevemenL of muLual sexual saLlsfacLlon
CuleLlng Lhe mlnd and dlrecLlng energy ls key Lo reachlng hlgh sLaLes of consclousness
ln LanLrlc sex and can be accompllshed Lhrough medlLaLlon on
sounds and deslgns

ChapLer 4
Awaken and
Worshlp Lhe Cod
and Coddess
ln ?ou
ln 1hls ChapLer
1he role of god and goddess energles ln LanLrlc sex
SlgnlflcanL delLles from varylng LradlLlons culLures and eras
Pow Lo connecL wlLh dlvlne forces wlLhln you
Pow Lo use delLy medlLaLlons
unlLlng your god and goddess as beloveds
lesLlvals and Lemples LhaL honor god and goddess energles
1anLra ls a paLh Lo CodLhe feellng of dlvlne blesslng and presence ln every aspecL of
your llfe lncludlng sex 1hls connecLlon wlLh Lhe dlvlne ls achleved by ecsLaLlc unlon
wlLh a beloved as you boLh experlence your ownand each oLher'sdlvlnlLy ln
LanLra every man and woman ls a god or goddess 1haL means you are a dlvlne belng
[usL as you are wlLh wlsdom and ablllLles LhaL need only Lo be recognlzed and released
Ponorlng yourselfand belng honoredln Lhls way glves us Lhe selfesLeem
we all need buL ofLen feel lacklng Cnce you see Lhe dlvlnlLy wlLhln yourself you can
see Lhe dlvlnlLy ln oLhers
1hls chapLer helps you connecL wlLh Lhe essence of Lhe god and goddess ln yourself
and your parLner because lL ls so lmporLanL Lo your pracLlce of sacred sex and Lo your
goal of enllghLenmenL l wlll lnLroduce you Lo dlfferenL gods and goddesses relaLed Lo
LanLrlc pracLlce and Lechnlques of uslng Lhelr dlvlne energles on your [ourney
44
WhaL ls Cod/Coddess"?
ln LanLra Lhe Lerms god and goddess refer Lo LreaLlng yourself and oLhers wlLh Lhe
respecL and honor you would exLend such revered belngs 1hrough Lhls honorlng
ln LanLrlc sex pracLlces your dlvlne consclousness wlll embody Lhe power of Lhe
unlverse
uelLles ln LanLrlc pracLlce are essenLlally archeLypes of splrlLs guldes angels and llghL
belngs LhaL are symbols of varlous energles quallLles or relaLlonshlps CLher Lerms for
male and female delLles are deva and devl daka and daklnl prlesL and prlesLess
AlLhough delLles are porLrayed as exLernal belngs Lhey can be consldered pro[ecLlons
of quallLles wlLhln our own naLure
1he word goddess" ls wldely used ln Lhe LanLra communlLy buL has become more
malnsLream laLely used Lo refer Lo a woman who ls proud of and ln Louch wlLh her
power as a femlnlne force 1he goddess embodles a range of quallLles of a woman
from belng sofL and nurLurlng Lo belng sLrong and flerce 1he Lerm god" ls noL used
as popularly posslbly parLly due Lo Lhe reverence ln !udeoChrlsLlan LradlLlon for
Cod" as a superlor belng
Some LradlLlons promlse LhaL you can be gods or goddesses ln anoLher llfe or only by
changlng ln some way Lo become more dlvlne 1anLrlc sex poses LhaL belng god or
goddess ls your blrLhrlghL ?ou are dlvlne now wlLhouL
change
8elng a god or goddess refers Lo your energy creaLlve
force and cosmlc power Lvery woman ls a goddess
1haL means she ls Lhe embodlmenL of all LhaL ls femlnlne
Lo be honored and worshlpped She ls a lover seducLress
healer and nurLurlng moLher as well as a
hunLer and wlld woman She musL reveal and embrace
all Lhese parLs of herself and be slmllarly honored
Slmllarly every man ls a god Lhe embodlmenL of
many roles lncludlng belng a provlder proLecLor and
a symbol of power as well as belng nurLurlng heallng
and surrenderlng Pe musL embrace and be honored
for all Lhese parLs 1hese quallLles are presenL ln all
people regardless of age race culLure sLaLus or any
characLerlsLlc We elLher dlsplay Lhese quallLles or Lhey
are avallable as poLenLlals
lnLegraLe All ?our 8oles
As a sLarL on your paLh Lo embraclng god/goddess wlLhln you Lhlnk of all Lhe roles
you play ln your llfe and how you feel abouL yourself Are you a parenL? An enLrepreneur?
Are you feellng nurLurlng? Sexy? owerful? lnLrospecLlve? 8evlew your quallLles
8locks Lo 8llss
Lven lf you are skepLlcal delLles
and splrlLs mlghL be helplng
supporLlng and guldlng you
Suspend dlsbellef for Lhe
momenL Lo noLlce how Lhese
energles mlghL help helghLen
your experlence of love and
bllssful sex
43
ChapLer 4 Awaken and Worshlp Lhe Cod and Coddess ln ?ou
ln your mlnd or wrlLe Lhem down l ofLen have parLlclpanLs ln my workshops make a
collage of Lhelr roles (as shown ln Lhe followlng lllusLraLlon for example) wlLh Lhemselves
ln Lhe mlddle surrounded by symbols or phoLos or wrlLLen words for Lhelr feellngs
AfLer you read abouL Lhe gods and goddesses ln Lhls chapLer go back over your llsL
and wrlLe ln Lhe names of delLles you mosL relaLe Lo lor example lf you wroLe
sexy" wrlLe ln lshLar lf you feel powerful" wrlLe ln Shlva
lnLegraLlng Lhe goddess
self
Seelng 8eyond Lhe Superflclal
?ou know Lhe experlence of [udglng oLhers or belng [udged by looks [ob or sLock
porLfollo Llkely you know Lhe paln of sLaLemenLs such as She's Loo faL" or l need a
guy who has more money" ?our body or bank accounL becomes your ellglblllLy quoLlenL
ln Lhe wlde world of daLlng and maLlng 8uL ln Lhe LanLra world Lhere are no
such crlLerla you are encouraged Lo see beyond superflclal characLerlsLlcs lnLo Lhe
dlvlnlLy of each belng
1hree essenLlal sLeps ln worshlpplng Lhe dlvlne accordlng Lo Lhe LanLra LradlLlon
are
1 Lmbrace Lhe dlvlnlLy wlLhln yourself
2 Acknowledge dlvlnlLy ln your parLner 1anLrlc sex emphaslzes Lhe equallLy of
boLh male and female delLles Lo achleve necessary balance of energles
3 unlLe god and goddess ln Lhe unlon of you and your beloved 1hls achleves Lhe
perfecL balance of male and female energy necessary Lo achleve bllss and hlgher
consclousness
46
1he lmporLance of Worshlpplng Lach CLher
1hrough my years of work as a LheraplsL l know how happy people become when
Lhey are acknowledged uo you know whaL lL feels llke Lo be Lruly appreclaLed? 1o be
really noLlced? 1o be deeply known as when someone geLs" who you are? 1anLrlc sex
Lakes acknowledgmenL one sLep furLher Lo belng worshlpped! Worshlp doesn'L mean
bllnd obsesslon lL means lovlng uncondlLlonally and llmlLlessly nor does lL mean
havlng power over someone who ls your slave lL means servlng each oLher equally
from Lhe hlghesL sLaLe of personal power and muLual respecL
1hlnk of all Lhe compllmenLs you would llke Lo hear abouL yourself and wonderful
Lhlngs you could say abouL your beloved 1haL's whaL lL means ln LanLra Lo be worshlpped
llke a god or goddess
Clearlng up Confuslon AbouL Cods
and Coddesses
All delLles are lnvolved wlLh llfe and deaLh Powever undersLandlng Lhelr roles can be
confuslng because some have hundreds of lncarnaLlons or manlfesLaLlons whlch represenL
dlfferenL aspecLs and Lherefore have dlfferenL names l remember belng very confused
by Lhe mosL dramaLlc example of LheseLhe Plndu Lord Shlva who ls also
called 8rahma and vlshnu and who has more Lhan a Lhousand dlfferenL manlfesLaLlons
ranglng from hls roLecLor form Lo hls more evll form called 8alrab Slmllarly
Lhe power of Lhe goddess kall can be seen ln her llghL" form as powerful buL also ln
her shadow" aspecL as manlpulaLlve and conLrolllng 1he goal ls Lo accepL and merge
Lhese aspecLs wlLhln yourself
1hese quallLles can be Lhose you llke or dlsllke wanL Lo emulaLe or dlscard As you
read abouL Lhem ln Lhls chapLer see whlch resonaLe wlLh you uo Lhe exerclses laLer
ln Lhls chapLer Lo undersLand Lhelr role ln yourself and your relaLlonshlps
CeLLlng Lo know Lhe AnclenL Coddesses
Male and female dlvlne flgures can come from anclenL culLures such as Lhe Sumerlan
1euLonlc LgypLlan Creek and 8oman 1hey can also come from modern Llmes LeL's
Lake a closer look aL some of Lhe gods and goddesses from around Lhe world sLarLlng
wlLh Lhe goddesses
Ma[or and Wellknown Coddesses
MosL goddesses represenL ferLlllLy Coddesses are lovlng and nurLurlng ln Lhelr llghL
manlfesLaLlons however Lhey also are porLrayed as seducLresses engaglng ln rlLual
prosLlLuLlon As you read Lhrough Lhls llsL of goddesses from varlous culLures clrcle
names you flnd yourself drawn Lo
47
LlllLh A near LasLern goddess porLrayed ln many legends as an lndependenL
woman refuslng Lo be domlnaLed by men (and Lherefore named for a muslc fesLlval
a few years ago LhaL celebraLed female arLlsLs) ln one myLh she ls Lhe flrsL
woman ln paradlse buL she dld noL submlL Lo Adam as dld Lve ln anclenL
Sumerlan lore she galned a repuLaLlon as a seducLress and harloL uslng her secreLs
of sexual Lechnlques Lo lure men Lo Lhe Lemples of lnanna lshLar and
AsLarLe Lo worshlp her hall lnfldellLy and parLlclpaLe ln LanLrlc sexual rlLes
lshLar 1he LxalLed LlghL of Peaven" wlLh her sweeL llps and beauLlful body
ls known for her eroLlclsm and sexuallLy buL also deplcLed as Lhe goddess of baLLle
carrylng a bow and sword and rldlng on a lloness uerlvlng from anclenL
Sumerla as lnanna and laLer appearlng ln Lhe 8abylonlan era as well as ln
LgypL she ls symbollzed by Lhe evenlng sLar and revered for her prophecy leadershlp
and heallng of Lhe slck ln annual rlLes Lhls hlgh rlesLess unlLes wlLh
Lhe klng ln sacred marrlage
lshLar Lhe greaL goddess
of eroLlclsm
AphrodlLe 1he mosL popular goddess from Creek LradlLlon ls assoclaLed wlLh
love deslre ulLlmaLe sexuallLy and ecsLasy and ls ofLen symbollzed by a dove
dolphln rose apple or even an oplum poppy She ls also popularly known as
venus famous 8oman goddess of love known for purlLy and supposedly lnvenLed
by Lhe 8omans Lo Lurn Lhe clLlzens Loward chasLlLy
48
ArLemls ln Creek myLhology she ls Lhe vlrgln goddess of Lhe hunL and Lhe
moon She ls Lhe female counLerparL Lo Ares Lhe god of war
Cuan?ln 1hls ls Lhe greaL Chlnese goddess of compasslon whose sLaLue ls
sold everywhere ln Chlna l've been moved afLer seelng one of her LallesL sLaLues
on uduo MounLaln Lhe slLe of Lhree of her mosL revered Lemples anoLher
sLaLue of her ls planned Lo be placed ln Lhe waLer aL Chlna's mosL expanslve
8uddhlsL gardens on Lhe lsland of Palnan meanL Lo evoke Lhe lmpresslve welcome
of our own SLaLue of LlberLy
Cuan?ln Chlnese goddess
of compasslon
1he vlrgln Mary She ls Lhe ulLlmaLe ChrlsLlan symbol of purlLy and
moLherhood
Plndu goddesses varlous goddesses are of greaL lmporLance ln lndla and
nepal l have wlLnessed ceremonles and seen Lemples Lo many of Lhem and also
have many small sLaLues LhaL l keep ln my home and even carry ln my pockeLbook
1hey lnclude
uurga Lhe moLher of goddesses
1ara a goddess represenLlng klndness and wlsdom
Lakshml Lhe goddess of abundance wealLh happlness and prosperlLy
49
SaraswaLl goddess of Lhe arLs
kall Lhe goddess of power and sLrengLh l have wlLnessed many sacrlflces
aL her shrlne ouLslde kaLhmandu nepal where goaLs and chlckens are
slaughLered and Lhelr blood offered Lo her sLaLues as a requesL for her
proLecLlon
kall Plndu goddess
of power
CLher Coddesses Around Lhe World
AlmosL every culLure has goddesses LhaL mlghL be
equlvalenL Lo delLles from oLher culLures and eras
Lven lf your own background dlffers you mlghL
ldenLlfy wlLh Lhese enLlLles (especlally lf you belleve
ln pasL llves when you may have llved ln
Lhose Llmes and places) Pere are several counLrles
and some of Lhe goddesses assoclaLed wlLh Lhem
!apan 1he goddess 8enzal 1ennyo ls assoclaLed
wlLh sexuallLy and ferLlllLy buL also wlLh
granLlng good forLune and wlLh Lhe arL of
muslc (slmllar Lo Lhe Plndu goddess
SaraswaLl)
Mexlco 1lazolLeoLl ls Lhe AzLec goddess of
love and sexuallLy whose worshlp lncluded
prosLlLuLlon ln her dark slde she ls assoclaLed
wlLh deaLh and human sacrlflce
1anLra 1ales
Some women Loday rename
Lhemselves wlLh SanskrlL names
of goddesses such as Lakshml
kamala and usha Cr Lhey may
refer Lo a goddess Lo descrlbe
Lhelr own behavlor lor example
one LanLra frlend of mlne Lalks
abouL her expresslons of anger or
confronLaLlons wlLh oLher people
by saylng My kall came ouL!"
30
lreland Maeve ls consldered a maglcal goddess
of lreland Cn one hand she ls assoclaLed wlLh
wanLon sexuallLy buL on Lhe oLher she ls a warrlor
who uses her sexuallLy Lo wln baLLles
ScoLland 8lannon a Welsh goddess ofLen deplcLed
mounLed on a whlLe horse or who Lransforms
lnLo a whlLe mare for a marrlage
ceremony ln myLhology she was chased by a
rlnce who could noL caLch her unLll he asked
her permlsslona sLory evoklng Lhe lmporLance
of a man's surrender Lo Lhe goddess (a key
LanLrlc sex prlnclple)
Afrlca Mboze ls Lhe goddess of Lhe Woyo people
she represenLs ferLlllLy Lhrough ralnfall
Cdude ls a norLhwesL Afrlcan goddess whose
name means Lhe black one" and who ls ofLen
lmaged as a serpenL evoklng Lhe LanLrlc kundallnl
energy rlslng
lsrael 1he Pebrew goddess Sheklnah whose name means creaLlve force" ls
equlvalenL Lo Lhe Plndu ShakLl" and ls meanL Lo esLabllsh balance 8uLh ls a
real woman revered Lo have saved her people ln anclenL Llmes and Lhus can be
consldered a goddess
LgypL Cadesh ls Lhe goddess of love and sex from Lhe Akkadlan and
8abylonlan emplres ofLen deplcLed as a ruler of ferLlllLy ln Lhe anlmal world her
worshlppers also pracLlced prosLlLuLlon
unlLed SLaLes MoLher Maul ls Lhe goddess of Lhe new Age movemenL Cala ls
Lhe goddess of Lhe LarLh and ele ls Lhe goddess of flre ofLen deplcLed as arlslng
from a volcano (Pavlng spenL much Llme on Lhe lsland of Maul ln Pawall l
know flrsLhand Lhe powerful goddess energy Lhere and recommend you go
Lhere Lo experlence lL Loo)
1halland 1apLun ls celebraLed ln 1halland (and as Chao Mae 1upLlm ln
Chlna) wlLh offerlngs of hundreds of symbols of llngams (male sexual organs)
PalLl 1he voodoo goddess Lrzull also called Lmpusae ls known as a sexual
vamplre sucklng ouL men's sLrengLh by seduclng Lhem whlle Lhey sleep and lnduclng
eroLlc dreams or e[aculaLlon She ls worshlpped ln modern Llmes wlLh
champagne and perfume
Mlddle LasL 1he lslamlc goddess Al'LaL (also called PecaLe) ls Lhe femlnlne
form of Allah and slmllar Lo Lhe Plndu Lord Shlva ln LhaL calllng her ls llke saylng
Lhe Lord" or slmply Cod" She symbollzes Lhree aspecLs of Lhe moon Lhe
1anLra 1uLorlal
Creek goddess proLoLypes such
as uemeLer as moLher and
ArLemls as Lhe warrlor are descrlbed
ln Agapl SLasslnopolous's
book ConversaLlons wlLh Lhe
Coddess 8eveallng Lhe ulvlne
ower WlLhln ?ou (SLewarL 1aborl
Chang 1999)
31
vlrgln Lhe moLher and Lhe aglng wlse woman Per relgn ended when her shrlne
was Laken over by Lhe propheL Mohammed slgnallng Lhe change from maLrlarchy
Lo paLrlarchy
near LasL Cybele ls repuLed Lo perform boLh ferLlllLy and casLraLlon rlLes
Archeologlcal flnds daLlng back Lo 6000 8C prove her early worshlp usually ln
Lhe form of a black sLone
8emember Lo clrcle Lhe goddesses whose energles you connecL wlLh lor example l
connecL wlLh Cuan ?ln because l spend so much Llme ln Chlna all Lhe goddesses ln
nepal Lhe Creek goddess of Lhe hunL ArLemls whlch was Lhe name of Lhe women's
rock band l played ln and Lhe Welsh goddess 8lannon Lhe sub[ecL of a lleeLwood
Mac song l sang whlle ln Lhe band
Cods from ulfferenL CulLures
Llke goddesses gods come from every culLure LradlLlon and era uesplLe Lhelr assoclaLlon
Lo a parLlcular rellglon many gods slmllarly represenL a hlgher power such as
!esus ln ChrlsLlanlLy Allah ln lslam 8uddha ln 8uddhlsm or Lhe Plndu Lord Shlva
See whlch ones you relaLe Lo
Plndu gods 1hese lnclude Lhe mosL lmporLanL
Lord Shlva also known as vlshnu god
of all gods wlLh more Lhan a Lhousand manlfesLaLlons
lncludlng hls dark slde as 8alrab
Pe ls worshlpped ln Lhe form of Lhe Shlva
llngam (a phallus) ln Lemples LhroughouL
lndla and nepal As l menLloned ln ChapLer
2 1he 8aslcs ?es ?ln ?ang ?onl and
?ab ?um" Shlva's consorL ls ShakLl (Lhe female
force) LogeLher Lhey are a unlon of energy
and enllghLenmenL
AnoLher popular Plndu god ls Lhe ofLbeloved
Canesh known for hls klndness and removal
of obsLacles and well recognlzed as a boylshlooklng
flgure wlLh a human body and an
elephanL head
!esus 1hls ls Lhe Son of Cod and savlor of
Lhe ChrlsLlan people who performed Lhe ulLlmaLe
selfsacrlflce Lo dellver oLhers from Lhelr
slns
Creek gods As ln Lhe case of goddesses Lhere are many Creek gods all of
whom have equlvalenLs ln 8oman culLure 1he hlghesL god among all oLher
8locks Lo 8llss
Some belngs are consldered Lo
have glven LanLrlc sex a bad repuLaLlon
Aghora ls a rebelllous
manlfesLaLlon of Lhe Plndu god
Shlva famous for orgles and cruelLles
such LhaL hls devoLees
have sex ln cemeLerles 8hogl
supposedly volunLeered as a
human sacrlflce Lo achleve sacred
sLaLus hls dylng wlsh was Lo have
sex wlLh many women
32
Creek delLles Zeus ls symbollc of power and domlnaLlon Pe ls Lhe archeLype for
Lhe macho alpha male CLher Creek gods lnclude
Lros Called Lhe god of love ln Creek and Cupld ln 8oman Lros evokes a
famlllar lmage as a cherub who mlschlevously alms arrows aL people's
hearLs Lo make Lhem fall ln love Pe also has been deplcLed as androgynous
(noL clearly male or female)
ulonysus Called Lhe god of lusL ln Creek Llmes and 8acchus ln 8oman
days ulonysus symbollzes overlndulgence of wlne women and song and
ls known for wanLon feasLs and drunken orgles
rlapus A Creek phalllc god and son of AphrodlLe and ulonysus rlapus
ls known for hls unusually huge erecLlon Lherefore symbollzlng men's sexual
poLency (Lhe word now refers Lo an erecLlon LhaL lasLs Loo long!) ln
cases of lmpoLence venereal dlseases or oLher sexual problems palnLlngs
or flgures of prlvaLe parLs were offered Lo Lhls god wlLh prayers for heallng
vlrglns would also deflower Lhemselves on hls erecL llngam Many gods
from oLher culLures are slmllar Lo hlm such as Lhe 8oman 1uLlnus Lhe
LgypLlan Mln Lhe 1euLonlc lrey and Lhe !apanese SaruLahlko
SaLyr 8elaLed Lo an and Lros SaLyr ls well recognlzed as Lhe halfman
halfgoaL myLhlcal creaLure who symbollzes unresLralned male passlon and
Lhe pursulL of eroLlc advenLures
1he unresLralned male
passlon ln SaLyr
Percules Lndowed wlLh greaL sLrengLh and cunnlng Lhls Creek hero of
classlcal myLh ls mosL ofLen porLrayed as a slayer of monsLers and beasLs
Apollo Cne of Lhe greaLesL and besL known Creek delLles Apollo ls called
Mars by Lhe 8omans and ls plcLured as a handsome young man Pe ls god
33
of Lhe sun muslc poeLry medlclne and flne arLs We know hls name well
as Lhe serles of manned spacecrafL one of whlch landed on Lhe Moon
marklng one of Lhe greaLesL achlevemenLs of our Llme
Ares 1he Creek god of war he ls equlvalenL Lo Lhe energy of Lhe female
warrlor ArLemls
LgypLlan gods 8a ls Lhe god of Lhe Sun and anoLher god Cslrls ls lnfamous
ln sLorles of dlsmembermenL lncesL and adulLery
!apanese gods 1hese lnclude Musurlkaml a ShlnLo delLy honored aL annual
ferLlllLy fesLlvals where hundreds of people march Lhrough Lhe sLreeLs LoLlng
huge phalluses made of sLone or wood
Modernuay Cod/Coddess lcons
Modernday flgures (allve or dead) also serve as culLural lcons of gods or goddesses
usually because of Lhelr medla exposure Some bellevers Lhlnk LhaL Lhe splrlLs of anclenL
flgures are channeled Lhrough Lhese people Modern goddesses mlghL lnclude
Marllyn Monroe and Madonna (Lhe rock sLar) as sex goddesses MoLher 1eresa as Lhe
Chlnese goddess of compasslon Cuan?ln or even 8arbara 8ush as Lhe sLrong moLher
energy of Lhe Plndu goddess uurga Modernday sex gods mlghL lnclude Sean
Connery or !ohn l kennedy !r
ln Lhe followlng exerclse wrlLe down a few modernday flgures you Lhlnk embody energles
you elLher llke or wanL
?our Modernuay uleLy Lxerclse
name of erson CuallLles 1hls erson Lvokes ln ?ou
Cods and 1helr Coddess CounLerparLs
1anLra ls a parLnered as well as a personal pracLlce as ls evldenced by LanLrlc gods and
goddesses deplcLed wlLh parLners called consorLs LnLwlned ln embrace Lhey pro[ecL
Lhe male/female balance LhaL ls cenLral Lo LanLrlc pracLlce 1hlnk of some famous
peopledelLles heroes and herolnes or hlsLorlcal flgureswho are llnked LogeLher
WhaL feellngs do Lhey evoke ln you? Pow are Lhose reacLlons relaLed Lo your own relaLlonshlps
ln llfe? Make your llsL addlng Lo some of Lhe examples l glve you here
Pave your parLner do Lhls exerclse Loo Lhen dlscuss your cholces
34
Couple's Lnergy Lxerclse
name of Couple CuallLles 1hls Couple Lvokes ln ?ou
Shlva and ShakLl ulLlmaLe ecsLasy perfecL balance
Samson and uelllah Women Lurned on Lo men's dlsplays
of power and sLrengLh
8omeo and !ulleL 1ragedy love LhwarLed by dlsapproval
LanceloL and Cenevleve asslon fallen by lnfldellLy
Ldward of Lngland Love so deep LhaL he would glve up Lhe
and Wallls Slmpson Lhrone
LllzabeLh 1aylor and asslonaLe love LhaL can'L susLaln
8lchard 8urLon lLself can'L llve wlLh or wlLhouL
Lhe person
CLher
CLher
1he Lssence of Lhe Cod/Coddesses WlLhln ?ou
As l've menLloned cerLaln gods and goddess and Lhelr essences wlll resonaLe wlLh
you glvlng you lnslghL lnLo how you are or how you wanL Lo be 8evlew Lhe llsL of
delLles especlally Lhose whose names you clrcled and conslder wheLher you are llke
Lhem or wanL Lo be llke Lhem uon'L be concerned wlLh Lhe deLalls of Lhelr sLorles because
LanLra ls Lhe Lransmlsslon of energy lL ls only lmporLanL lf you feel Lhelr energy
ln Lhe followlng exerclse wrlLe down Lhe names of Lhe delLles whose names you clrcled
noLlce how you feel when you read each name lf you feel drawn Lo LhaL delLy
ln a poslLlve way (exclLed energlzed happy) place a checkmark ln Lhe oslLlve column
lf you feel someLhlng negaLlve ln your body (LlghLness paln pressure) you
mlghL have a negaLlve charge on Lhe quallLles he or she embodles place a checkmark
ln Lhe negaLlve column
Ask yourself WhaL am l Lrylng Lo avold?" lor example because kall ls Lhe goddess of
power some women mlghL feel aLLracLed Lo her Lo express more asserLlveness ln Lhelr
llfe oLhers mlghL be frlghLened by LhaL energy uon'L [udge whaL you feel [usL noLlce
lL uon'L worry wheLher Lhe delLy's sex maLches yours 8emember LhaL accordlng Lo
LanLra you have boLh male and female essence wlLhln you and musL embody boLh
Pave your parLner do Lhls exerclse Loo ulscuss Lhe energles sLlmulaLed ln each of
you as a way Lo learn more abouL yourselves each oLher and your relaLlonshlp
33
?our 8eacLlon Lo Lhe uelLles' Lnergy
oslLlve negaLlve
uelLy
uelLy
uelLy
uelLy
uelLy
uslng uelLles ln ?our Sex racLlce
1he gods and goddesses can add greaL power Lo your LanLrlc pracLlces ln ChapLer 16
Advanced 1anLrlc Lovemaklng 1echnlques" l'll dlscuss more advanced ways Lo draw
from Lhelr energy
?ou can buy a form of Lhe delLy as a sLaLue phoLograph
mandala or Lhangka Ask aL local yoga cenLers
or check your local ?ellow ages for sLores
speclallzlng ln LasLern arLlfacLs or check Lhe sLores
wlLhln Web slLes llsLed ln Appendlx 8 Workshops
Web SlLes 1eachers and 1anLra CommunlLles"
lesLlvals and CLher
Cod/Coddess CaLherlngs
All klnds of celebraLlons honorlng delLles have exlsLed
ln every age 1he followlng are some LhaL relaLe
Lo LanLrlc prlnclples
lerLlllLy lesLlvals ln !apan
Lach sprlng hundreds of worshlppers parade Lhrough Lhe sLreeLs of small Lowns carrylng
efflgles of Lhe phallus Lhrough Lhe sLreeLs chanLlng LesLlmonles Lo lLs power and
poLency Legend has lL LhaL every Llme a prlncess lald down wlLh a maLe he woke up
Lhe nexL mornlng wlLh hls penls blLLen off A sulLor who was a smlLhy proved hls
worLh and flnally cured Lhe prlncess by forglng a sLeel phallus LhaL was lnserLed lnLo
her vaglna whereupon sLeel LeeLh lodged lnslde her vaglna grlpped Lhe rod and were
exLracLed hls prlze belng her hand ln marrlage Local worshlppers and hundreds of
LourlsL onlookers (llke myself!) aLLend Lhe charmlng clrcusllke parade LhaL has more
recenLly been Lurned lnLo a sLreeL falr (selllng phallusshaped candy) and dlsLrlbuLlng
educaLlonal maLerlals abouL AluS prevenLlon
vlsuallzaLlon uslng pure llghL
descrlbed here Lo ldenLlfy wlLh
quallLles of a delLy has also
proven effecLlve ln oLher slLuaLlons
lor example some cancer
paLlenLs who have been LaughL
Lo lmaglne heallng llghL Lhrough
Lhelr bodles have been shown Lo
produce fewer cancer cells
36
8urnlng Man lesLlval ln nevada
AlLhough lL's dusLy and 107 degrees Lhousands of free splrlLs [ourney Lo Lhe annual
8urnlng Man fesLlval aL Lhe end of summer for Lhe weeklong experlmenL ln Lemporary
communlLy dedlcaLed Lo radlcal selfexpresslon arLlclpanLs seL up vlllages and
Lheme camps (llke lerLlllLy CuLer Space and 1he Seven Ages) ln a psychedellc maze
of arL lnsLallaLlons (llke Lhe 8oom 8oom Womb" or lmpoLence CompensaLlon
ro[ecL") and resL sLops 1he scene ls unlque buL some recall Lhelr days aL WoodsLock
sharlng food arL muslc and love
Many LanLrlc devoLees come Lo 8urnlng Man each year because of lLs klndred splrlL Lo
LanLrlc energy creaLlvlLy lovlngness and sense of communlLy A favorlLe aLLracLlon ln
pasL years has been Lhe 1emple of lshLar (wwwlshLarLempleorg) a maglcal communlLy
dedlcaLed Lo ralslng awareness educaLlng expandlng and heallng sacred sexuallLy
sensuallLy and relaLlonshlps
Coddess CaLherlngs
uurlng Lhe women's movemenL of Lhe 1970s women formed consclousness ralslng
groups" meeLlng ln homes and Lalklng abouL men sex and how Lo have orgasms
Slmllar gaLherlngs of Loday ofLen are called goddess groups ln whlch women come
LogeLher Lo share Lhelr sLorles supporL each oLher ln careers or relaLlonshlps and connecL
wlLh Lhelr prlesLess energles CfLen Lhey perform rlLuallsLlc ceremonles llghLlng
candles lnvoklng femlnlne splrlLs formlng drum clrcles declarlng lnLenLlons and
celebraLlng femlnlnlLy
1hese can be held on a prlvaLe small scale wlLh selecLed lnvlLed frlends or Lhey can
be large gaLherlngs such as Lhe Coddess CaLher" an annual weekend of workshops
and rlLuals for women Lo connecL wlLh Lhelr femlnlne splrlL held aL a naLure farm ln
Callfornla (lor more lnformaLlon emall moLherbearscoLL[mlndsprlngcom)
ln Lhls annual ferLlllLy
fesLlval ln !apan worshlppers
carry efflgles of Lhe
phallus Lhrough Lhe
sLreeLs
37
1emples
A LanLrlc Lemple ls a place where LanLrlc rlLuals Lake place 1here are several varleLles
of such Lemples ln anclenL culLures women were consldered prlesLesses and goddesses
because Lhey were Lhe holy creaLors of llfe LhoughL Lo be senL Lo LarLh from
heaven wlLh secreL powers as healers Clrls were broughL Lo bulldlngs called Lemples
before puberLy and LaughL by older women all Lhe secreLs of uslng sexual energy Lo
heal and Lhe sacred arLs of sex lncludlng love lusL rlLuals maglc and splrlLual pracLlce
1hese Lemple goddesses also LaughL younger men how Lo reach realms of bllss
Lhrough Lhe pleasures of Lhe female body re[uvenaLed older men by pracLlclng Lhelr
skllls of lovemaklng wlLh Lhem and healed warrlors wlLh sacred waLers Some
LanLrlkas Loday form collecLlves for slmllar purposes
1he Lown of kha[uraho souLh of new uelhl ln lndla was Lhe hearL of medleval
LanLrlsm 1he anclenL Lemples here are renowned for Lhelr eroLlc sculpLures llgures ln
a seemlngly lnflnlLe varleLy of comblnaLlons and poslLlons adorn Lhe edlflces from
Lhe base Lo Lhe Lop 1he rellefs aL ascendlng levels become more reflned as a symbol
of Lhe ascenslon Lo hlgher sLaLes of consclousness Many were desLroyed ln wars buL a
large number remaln l can assure youbecause l've done lLLhaL vlslLlng Lhem ls an
awesome and educaLlonal experlence
An eroLlc scene from Lhe
Lemple aL kha[uraho
38
Lvery man and woman ls a god or goddess Conslder yourself as havlng Lhe
quallLles of dlvlne belngs Lo embrace Lhe hlghesL level of selfesLeem and Lo
confronL powerful characLerlsLlcs you conslder poslLlve or negaLlve
Cods and goddesses LhaL you may relaLe Lo come from every era and culLure
1hlnk of lovemaklng as a dlvlne acL LhaL expresses Lhe sacred unlon of you and
your parLner as enllghLened belngs (god and goddess)
vlslLlng sacred Lemples and fesLlvals can lnsplre you Lo embrace Lhe dlvlnlLy
wlLhln you
arL 2
CeLLlng SLarLed ln Sacred Sex
now LhaL you're breaLhlng rlghL and sendlng powerful surges of sexual energy Lhrough
your body and ouL Lo your parLner you're ready Lo sLarL uslng LhaL energy When you
can Lurn up Lhe heaL or calm lL down aL wlll you're more ln conLrol and Lherefore
more ready Lo lose conLrollnLo bllss
ln Lhls parL you'll learn speclflc pracLlces Lo amp up your sexual energyor Lo brlng
lL down a few noLchesaL wlll Lo prepare you for longlasLlng lovemaklng ?ou'll dlscover
how Lo look aL love Lhrough LoLally new eyes and learn Lechnlques LhaL wlll Lake
you furLher lnLo sensuallLy Lhan you ever LhoughL posslble ulscover Lhe secreLs of Lhe
sacrum Lap Lhe ShakLl shake Lhe hearL hold and Lhe muscle locks LhaL unlock your
door Lo sexual pleasure ?ou'll learn how Lo break Lhrough any blocks you have Lo embraclng
bllss openlng Lhe door Lo a whole new world by seLLlng your sLage for love
preparlng your room your mlnd and your body as a Lemple of love

ChapLer 3
rep ?our 8ody
1emple of Love
ln 1hls ChapLer
CeLLlng Lo know and learnlng Lo love your body
1he Lwo colors of LanLra
Pow whlLe LanLra helps your LanLrlc sex llfe
lnner muscle holds LhaL glve you beLLer conLrol ln sex
Pow Lo keep your splne healLhy and sLralghL
LaLlng rlghL Lhe LanLrlc way
1anLrlc pracLlce asserLs LhaL your body ls your Lemple ?ou musL keep lL healLhy and flL
for your [ourney Lo bllss ln Lhls chapLer l'll lnLroduce you Lo some prlnclples and rouLlnes
LhaL help you honor Lhls Lemple
l'll also share wlLh you some ways Lo Lone your body Lo faclllLaLe Lhe lmporLanL pracLlces
LhaL you are underLaklng Lo helghLen channel and conLrol your sexual energy Lo
reach a hlgher consclousness
?our 8ody as Lhe 8rldge Lo 8llss
When sLudylng LanLra be prepared Lo experlence a Lhrllllng rlde energy soarlng up
and down your splne and elecLrlfylng every cell ln your body from your Loes Lo Lhe
Lop of your head ?our enLlre body becomes Lhe brldge beLween Lhe earLhly and Lhe
splrlLual on your road Lo bllss
arL 2 CeLLlng SLarLed ln Sacred Sex
62
Conslder Lhe meLaphor of you as a car 1hls requlres rememberlng abouL Lhe chakras
or energy cenLers l descrlbed ln ChapLer 3 Splnnlng ?our Wheels and 8reaLhlng Lo
LcsLasy" ?our sex cenLer ls your gas Lank your chassls and Llres are Lhe flrsL chakra or
base cenLer helplng you hug Lhe road (remember Lhe flrsL chakra's [ob ls Lo ground
you) ?our breaLh mlxes wlLh your sexual energy (as alr does wlLh gas ln a car) Lo
serve as Lhe fuel ln[ecLed Lhrough your splne (your gas llne) 1he muscle holds (bandhas)
descrlbed laLer ln Lhls chapLer are your spark plugs Lvery sysLem ln your car
(lgnlLlon baLLery exhausL elecLrlcal) llke every sysLem ln your body (clrculaLory
endocrlne nervous) has Lo be worklng for you Lo crulse down Lhe hlghway
efforLlesslyor Lo gun Lhe moLor and speed ahead
All Loo ofLen we are noL even aware of Lhe body Lemple we llve ln We Lake lL for
granLedusually unLll we have some breakdown (paln) or look ln Lhe mlrror and geL
dlsLressed abouL whaL we see Worse we've abused our body Lemples wlLh Loxlc food
lack of sleep (l'm gullLy of Lhls one!) overeaLlng drugs alcohol and even sex LhaL
we've regreLLed afLerward AnoLher abuse ls selfcrlLlclsmbuL Lo be ready for LanLrlc
love you musL Lurn body haLe lnLo body love
8ulldlng 8ody Love 1hrough Lhe Looklng Class
A fundamenLal parL of every sex Lherapy semlnar or workshop (l have LaughL a vasL
varleLy of Lhem over Lhe lasL 23 years!) lnvolves looklng aL your body and changlng
any negaLlve aLLlLudes CfLen called homework" l prefer Lo refer Lo such exerclses as
homeplay" slnce everyLhlng you do Lo lncrease pleasure should be play and fun
raLher Lhan work uo Lhls exerclse for your whole body and prlvaLe parLs
1 SLand naked ln fronL of a fulllengLh mlrror (a good Llme Lo do Lhls ls afLer a
baLh) Look aL every parL of you sLarLlng from your feeL and movlng slowly up
Lo Lhe Lop of your head (as ln ChapLer 3 when you moved your energy Lhrough
Lhe energy cenLers) lf you caLch yourself crlLlclzlng sLop and say someLhlng
klnd lnsLead for example My breasLs are Loo small" becomes My breasLs are
nlce and flrm" My Lhlghs are Loo bulky" becomes My legs are so sLrong"
uon'L obsess LhaL you are noL Lelllng Lhe LruLh you are slmply shlfLlng your
focus and belng genLler wlLh yourself
2 Lxamlne your genlLals Women can slL on Lhe bed and use a hand mlrror (and
flashllghL) because Lhe female genlLals are less obvlous Lhan men's Cpen Lhe llps
and noLlce colors molsLness shapes
3 Lxamlne your flrsL chakra (your base cenLer locaLed around your anal area Lhe
symbol of securlLy) An easler poslLlon Lo do Lhls for men and women ls Lo
squaL As ln Lhe genlLal exam for women men can use a mlrror and flashllghL Lo
see more clearly noLlce colors and skln LexLure
63
ChapLer 3 rep ?our 8ody 1emple of Love
uescrlbe ?our Sexual arLs lnslde and CuL
MosL men have looked aL Lhelr genlLals because Lhey're so accesslble every Llme Lhey
go Lo Lhe baLhroom ln conLrasL women have been LaughL noL Lo lookand even
Loday mosL females are shy or unsure of whaL's
down Lhere"
l am always surprlsed aL how llLLle even sophlsLlcaLed
men and women know abouL Lhelr sexual
parLs l remember noL knowlng much when l was
youngmy moLher [usL gave me books Lo read
and my confuslon lasLed unLll l was well lnLo my
20s Compare your descrlpLlons of your body Lo
Lhe followlng flgures whlch show Lhe ma[or parLs
of Lhe male and female genlLalla
8oLh men and women should noLe Lhe followlng
1here are acLually seLs of muscles ln Lhe
pelvlc area lncludlng Lhose around Lhe genlLals
and around Lhe anal openlngs LhaL play
an lmporLanL role ln sexual Lonlng and exclLemenL
1hese are affecLlonaLely called Lhe
love muscles l'll Lell you more abouL Lhem a
llLLle laLer ln Lhls chapLer
Lxamlnlng and lovlng
your body Lemple
Women have rarely seen lnslde
Lhelr vaglna aL Lhe vlew Lhelr gynecologlsL
sees ?ou can geL a
plasLlc speculum (Lhe lnsLrumenL
Lhe docLor uses for your examlnaLlon)
from a repuLable ouLleL
llke Lve's Carden (see Appendlx
C 1anLrlc 1ools") Carefully
lnserL lL lnslde your vaglna creaLlng
an openlng oslLlon a mlrror
and flashllghL so you can see
64
1he sacrum ls acLually a Lrlangular area above Lhe Lallbone whlch when Lapped
awakens energy as l'll descrlbe ln ChapLer 8 racLlces for 8eloveds Lo 8each
8llss"
1he kundallnl gland ls Lhe seaL of bllssful energy LhaL lles dormanL wlLhln Lhe
splne unLll acLlvaLed by LanLrlc pracLlces lL ls ofLen deplcLed arLlsLlcally llke a
colled serpenL
A closer look aL Lhe female anaLomy shows
1he cllLorls ls more Lhan Lhe bump knob or Llp LhaL you feel lL acLually has a
shafL LhaL exLends lnLo Lhe body whlch ls also pleasurable Lo sLlmulaLe
1he ureLhral openlng ls ln fronL of and separaLe from Lhe vaglnal openlng
1here ls a spongellke Llssue surroundlng Lhe ureLhra (called Lhe ureLhral
sponge" conslsLlng of glands ducLs and blood vessels) LhaL produces flulds
emlLLed Lhrough Lhe ureLhra durlng hlgh sLaLes of arousal 1hese love [ulces"
also called female e[aculaLe can be Lrlggered from sLlmulaLlon lnslde Lhe vaglna
ln Lhe goddess space (also known as Lhe C spoL) 1hls process wlll be descrlbed
ln ChapLers 10 Clvlng Per Lhe 8esL nlghLs Lver" and 17 Sexual Peallng Lo
SeL ?ou lree"
A closer look aL Lhe male anaLomy shows LhaL you can reach (and sLlmulaLe) Lhe
prosLaLe gland from Lhe ouLslde along Lhe perlneum and from Lhe lnslde Lhrough Lhe
anal openlng as wlll be descrlbed ln ChapLer 17
lf ?our enls or ?onl Could 1alk
lans who llsLen Lo me on Lhe radlo Lease abouL hearlng
me ask callers lf your penls could Lalk whaL
would lL say?" 1he LruLh ls our bodles do Lalk Lo us
and we Lalk back 1ry Lhls exerclse and say aloud whaL
your genlLals mlghL say Lo you (such as Why do you
crlLlclze my slze?" or Can'L l have a resL?" or l'd llke
Lo be adored")
Co on a CenlLal LxploraLlon
1ake some deep breaLhs CenLer yourself now LhaL
you've looked aL your genlLals Louch Lhem wlLh Lhe
prlmary lnLenLlon Lo explore noLlce Lhe colors
shapes and LexLures AfLer your exploraLlon wlLh a
more ob[ecLlve vlew geL emoLlonally lnvolved Allow
yourself Lo Louch your genlLals wlLh pleasure ln mlnd
WaLch whaL happens ln Lhe mlrror or [usL lle back and en[oy Lhe sensaLlons locus
on Lhe smallesL sensaLlons wlLhouL any expecLaLlons
1anLra 1uLorlal
1anLrlc homeplay ofLen lncludes
a genlLal dlsplay for your parLner
where Lhe parLners play docLor"
for each oLher showlng each
oLher whaL Lhey have learned
abouL Lhelr bodles 1hls ls noL
only educaLlonal lL helps overcome
embarrassmenL and lncreases
lnLlmacy
63
1he 1wo Colors of 1anLra
Merglng Lhe Sexual and Lhe
hyslcal
1here are Lwo Lypes of pracLlces or colors of LanLra
whlch l'll be Lelllng you more abouL LhroughouL
Lhe book
1 WhlLe LanLra refers Lo Lhe pracLlces LhaL are
more physlcal and relaLed Lo yoga and oLher
physlcal flLness
2 8ed LanLra refers Lo Lhe pracLlces LhaL are
more sexual ln naLure or LhaL use powerful
sexual energy channeled ln a hlghly splrlLual
manner
A closer look aL Lhe female and male body
MasLurbaLlon mlghL brlng up old
feellngs parLlcularly from early
chlldhood you mlghL have
learned lL ls wrong" or bad"
1ell yourself Lhe opposlLe Selfpleasurlng
ls healLhy and wlll
beneflL your love llfe
66
1he ?oga ConnecLlon
?oga ls Lhe mosL popular of Lhe whlLe LanLra paLhs Many LanLrlc masLers are also yoga
masLers who have sLudled and pracLlced poses for many years ?oga helps you focus
on your body sLlll your mlnd sLrengLhen and sLreLch your body and conLrol your
movemenLs All LhaL can help you achleve e[aculaLory conLrol and mulLlple orgasms
and beneflL your overall healLh as well as Lhe physlcal experlence of Lhe LranscendenL
energy you share wlLh your beloved
1ake a course aL a local yoga cenLer or conLacL any of Lhe resources llsLed ln Appendlx
8 Workshops Web SlLes 1eachers and 1anLra CommunlLles" abouL wheLher
Lhey offer yoga classes MosL LanLra workshops wlll lnLroduce you Lo slmple yoga
pracLlces
Some Slmple ?oga MovemenLs
Pere ls a brlef descrlpLlon of a few slmple yoga movemenLs ln many lndlvldual rouLlnes
See ChapLer 14 CeLLlng llL 1ogeLher for 1anLrlc Sex" for lnLeresLlng yoga
poses your can do wlLh your beloved as parL of LanLrlc pracLlce
1he head llfL SLand up as sLralghL as posslble 8each your head up Lo Lhe sky as
lf a sLrlng were pulllng lL upward from Lhe mlddle of your crown lnhale
Lhrough your nose pulllng your shoulder blades back Loward each oLher Lxhale
and press your feeL solldly lnLo Lhe ground as lf rooLlng yourself llke a Lree
8elax and repeaL
1he cobra pose Lle fully exLended on Lhe floor on your sLomach lace Lhe
hands under Lhe shoulders arms close Lo Lhe body wlLh elbows back and slowly
llfL Lhe upper body and head ln a curve looklng upward
1he caL pose lrom Lhe cobra pose brlng Lhe
head down slowly and rlse up on Lhe knees
roundlng Lhe back Lo sLreLch Lhe splne ln Lhe
opposlLe dlrecLlon from Lhe cobra pose
1he resLlng pose lrom Lhe caL pose lower Lhe
chesL Lo Lhe knees and forehead Lo Lhe ground
keeplng Lhe arms ouLsLreLched 8reaLhe
naLurally
Pold lL 1hese Are Called
8andhas
ln cerLaln yoga poses or breaLhlng pracLlces ln LanLra
you hold a body parL a cerLaln way or creaLe muscular
conLracLlons Lo conLrol your energy Lhese are called
8locks Lo 8llss
Always move slowly and always
have a Leacher lnsLrucL you on
proper breaLhlng form and progresslon
of yoga poses for maxlmum
beneflLs and Lo proLecL Lhe
splne
67
bandhas 1hey acL llke waLerway locks ln LhaL energy ls pooled ln a cerLaln area by
LlghLenlng muscles Lhere Lhen Lhe energy ls released ln a sLronger force and senL
wherever you wanL lL (up or down Lhe splne or up Lo Lhe sky)
1he Lhree mosL common holds are
1hroaL hold 1o do Lhls lnhale and Lurn your chln down Loward your LhroaL
drawlng Lhe back of your neck sLralghL Lhen llfL Lhe chln and exhale slowly
8elly hold Lxhale suck your navel back Loward your splne and pull your belly
up Loward your LhroaL
elvls hold 1lghLen your C (pubococcygeal) and anal sphlncLer muscles (l'll
dlscuss more abouL how Lo exerclse Lhose C muscles ln Lhe nexL secLlon)
1he bandhas greaLly beneflL your sex llfe Pere's
how
1he LhreesLep lock as l call lL lncorporaLes
Lhe Lhree mosL common holds and helps men
conLrol Lhelr e[aculaLlon wlLhouL loslng Lhelr
erecLlon lnhale and do Lhe LhroaL hold
Lxhale and do Lhe belly hold Squeeze Lhe C
(or love") muscles for Lhe pelvls hold 8epeaL
elvls holds help boLh women and men Lo
sLrengLhen Lhelr pelvlc muscles whlch resulLs
ln more powerful orgasms
Muscle holds help men and women condlLlon
Lhe enLlre body sLrengLhen lower back
muscles and lnLenslfy Lhe effecLs of love
muscle exerclses Lo creaLe more lnLense sensaLlons
ln selfpleasurlng or lnLercourse
?ou can do Lhese holds any Llmewhlle you're walLlng ln a movle llne or sLuck ln
Lrafflcfor an energy rush (Cnce whlle Leachlng a class l was saylng LhaL no one
would noLlce buL when demonsLraLlng how you can pracLlce ln secreL Lhe sLudenLs
laughed aL how my sklrL was llfLlng!)
ln dolng yoga keep Lhe followlng lmporLanL Llps ln mlnd
Always check wlLh a docLor before sLarLlng a yoga program or any physlcal
rouLlne
Warm up before each rouLlne
never force your body beyond lLs llmlLs
8esL when you feel Llred
Always keep balance (for example bend forward afLer you LwlsL or bend
backward)
1anLra 1uLorlal
8andhas lncrease Lhe energy
you can cycle wlLhln your own
body or ouL Lo your parLner As
you breaLhe ln do Lhe pelvls
hold and lmaglne drawlng energy
up from Lhe earLh Lhrough your
body and ouL Lo your parLner
and cycle lL back agaln
68
Love Muscle Lxerclses for Men and Women
Women's pubococcygeal muscles run along Lhe sldes of Lhe enLrance Lo Lhe vaglna
SLrengLhenlng and Lonlng Lhem creaLes more pleasure ln sex for Lhe woman and her
parLner (and LlghLens Lhe muscles especlally afLer chlldblrLh) LocaLe Lhem by squeezlng
as lf Lo hold back urlne and Lhen release as lf forclng Lhe urlne ouL now purposefully
conLracL Lhem ln fasLer and fasLer progresslon for abouL 30 seconds uo Lhls
several Llmes a day (?ou can even lnserL a flnger Lo help you beLLer focus on grlpplng
wlLh Lhese muscles)
Men's C muscles run Lhrough Lhe perlneum and connecL Lo boLh Lhe anus and Lhe
scroLum LocaLe Lhem as for Lhe woman by squeezlng as lf holdlng back Lhe flow of
urlne Lhen release as lf forclng Lhe urlne ouL ConLracL and release 10 Llmes aL an lncreaslngly
fasLer pace several Llmes a day 1hls ls a powerful meLhod for men Lo conLrol
Lhe Llmlng of Lhelr e[aculaLlon
LcsLasy LssenLlals
1he secreL Lo uslng Lhe C muscles Lo send powerful energy Lhrough Lhe body and braln ls
Lo coordlnaLe Lhe breaLh lnhale Lhrough Lhe nose as you pull up Lhe muscles hold Lhe
breaLh as you conLracL as many Llmes as you can and Lhen exhale Lhrough Lhe nose
ConLracLlng and releaslng Lhe anal sphlncLer muscles for Lhe man and woman also lncreases
sexual pleasure LocaLe Lhese muscles by squeezlng as lf Lo prevenL defecaLlng
Lhen bearlng down as lf forclng yourself Lo ellmlnaLe
lollow a Consclous WorkouL
1here are many workouLs LhaL wlll Lone your body and bulld your sLrengLh 1hese can
complemenL your LanLrlc sex pracLlces as long as you sLay aware whlle you do Lhem
whlch means focuslng on how Lhe parLlcular exerclse ls movlng your energy and how
you are movlng your breaLh 1hese workouLs can lnclude
WesLernsLyle workouLs such as welghL llfLlng aeroblcs or speclallzed rouLlnes
from your own gym or Lralner
LasLern sLyle pracLlces such as 1'al Chl or Lhe lncreaslngly popular Clgong (pronounced
cheegong) are sysLems of Chlnese yoga movemenLs LhaL open Lhe body
69
Lo allow Lhe flow of llfeforce energy Some exoLlcsoundlng movemenLs lnclude
1'al Chl 8o 8alanclng Lo bulld a sLrong and supple back and 8agua xun uao
Cong whlch sLreLches and sLrengLhens Lhe legs
1he Splnal 1ap
Pavlng a healLhy splne ls cruclal Lo Lhe pracLlces of LanLrlc sexuallLy 1he splne ls Lhe
paLhway of Lhe breaLh Lhrough Lhe body from Lhe base (flrsL) chakra Lhrough Lhe
lnner fluLe Lo Lhe Lop of Lhe head (Lhe crown chakra) lL brlngs Lhe sexual energy from
Lhe genlLals Lhrough Lhe body and lnLo Lhe head for LransformaLlon and awakenlng
ay aLLenLlon Lo your splne! AL Lhls very momenL how ls lL poslLloned? Pow ls lL
when you walk slL or sLand? ?our splne ls of course dlrecLly relaLed Lo your posLure
1ake Lhe followlng qulz Lo see whaL klnd of shape your splne ls ln
?our Splnal CondlLlon
Check ?es or no Lo each of Lhe followlng quesLlons
1 Are you slumped over when you sLand? ?es no
2 uo you slump over when you slL? ?es no
3 uo you sLand ln a crooked poslLlon (leanlng Lo one slde)? ?es no
4 ls your neck proLrudlng forward (lnsLead of slLLlng on Lop ?es no
of your splne)?
3 Are your hlps LhrusL decldedly forward when you walk? ?es no
6 uo your feeL Lurn lnward or ouLward when you walk? ?es no
lf you answered yes Lo any of Lhese quesLlons you
need Lo pay more aLLenLlon Lo your preclous splne
and your posLure
Lveryone worrles abouL geLLlng LhaL slumpedover
look as Lhey age noL only ls Lhls unpleasanL aesLheLlcally
lL's noL good for your breaLhlng whlch
ls necessary Lo send LhaL cruclal breaLh carrylng llfe
energy (called prana) Lhrough your body ay aLLenLlon
now Lo keeplng your preclous splne as
clear a channel as posslble lf you need help geLLlng
your splne ln correcL allgnmenL see a docLor
or a chlropracLor
Many varlaLlons of chlropracLlc pracLlces help reallgn
Lhe splne for more freely flowlng energy one
new Lrend ls called neLwork splnal analysls (nSA)
Callfornla nSA pracLlLloner Lexl llsher explalns
1anLra 1uLorlal
Llfe experlences or Lraumas
(physlcal emoLlonal or blochemlcal)
LhaL are lefL lncompleLe
geL sLuck and sLored up ln
Lhe splne [usL as Lhey do ln your
unconsclous prevenLlng Lhe
body from heallng or respondlng
freely
70
LhaL Lhls genLle form of chlropracLlc ad[usLmenLs (developed ln 1979 by ur uonald
LpsLeln) conslsLs of a serles of very llghL conLacLs (pressure slmllar Lo LhaL you mlghL
place on closed eyellds) Lo areas of Lhe splne along Lhe verLebral column 1hese conLacLs
reawaken Lhe body Lo unresolved experlences and LraumaLlc Lenslon paLLerns Lo
release Lhem and free up Lhe channel for more energy
llsher explalns how lL works CenLle rocklng of Lhe verLebrae frees whaL was sLuck
Lhere allowlng lL Lo be lnLegraLed back lnLo us As Lhe nervous sysLem becomes more
flexlble chronlc holdlng paLLerns leL go as a wave of muscular conLracLlons and pulsaLlon
moves Lhrough dlscharglng Lenslon sLored Lhere and reorganlzlng Lhe nervous
sysLem Cnce Lhe splnal cord becomes more flexlble we experlence lncreased ease and
more energy flowlng LhroughouL our body as we are noL as lnvesLed ln our old ways
of reslsLlng llfe"
!usL as lmporLanL as how you move your body Lo achleve Lhe LoLal good healLh cruclal
for your LanLrlc pracLlce ls whaL you puL lnLo lL 1haL means paylng aLLenLlon Lo your
nuLrlLlon
lood for 1houghL ?ou Are WhaL ?ou LaL
lood ls Lhe body's fuel so lL ls cruclal Lo pay aLLenLlon Lo whaL you eaL Cf course
you know LhaL faLLy foods are bad for your healLh and LhaL eaLlng heavy meals ls noL
conduclve Lo good sex Powever healLhy eaLlng pracLlces
go beyond Lhls Lhey musL be parL of your enLlre
LanLrlc llfe rouLlne
A clogged or unclean dlgesLlve LracL can serlously lnLerrupL
Lhe flow of energy Many LanLrlc devoLees do
an occaslonal cleanse" Lo purlfy Lhelr body of Loxlns
Cleanses range from eaLlng only raw foods Lo [ulce
fasLs noL all approaches are rlghL for everyone 1o
flnd Lhe rlghL one for you geL a full medlcal evaluaLlon
and consulL a nuLrlLlon experL read books on
nuLrlLlonespeclally Lhose wlLh a LanLrlc perspecLlve
and ask frlends and LanLrlc Leachers for recommendaLlons
8locks Lo 8llss
never go on a fasL or oLher radlcal
dleLary rouLlne wlLhouL
proper consulLaLlon and supervlslon
abouL whaL's rlghL for you
71
?our body ls a Lemple of love pay aLLenLlon Lo how you LreaL lL as a slgn of
how you LreaL yourself
Lxerclse rouLlnes such as yoga draw aLLenLlon Lo your body promoLe healLh
lncrease your sexual energy and prepare you for LanLrlc sex
ay parLlcular aLLenLlon Lo Lhe poslLlon of your splne because lL ls Lhe channel
of llfe energy Lhrough your body
A healLhy eaLlng plan conLrlbuLes Lo your general healLh whlch ln Lurn conLrlbuLes
Lo a healLhler relaLlonshlp

ChapLer 6
Amp up or
uamp uown
?our Sexual
Lnergy
ln 1hls ChapLer
?ou are ln conLrol of your energy
Lxerclses Lo calm down your energy
8educlng sLress wlLh alr yoga
Lxerclses Lo amp up your energy
1he sacrum Lap chakra Lhump and pelvlc LhrusLs Lo shake up your ShakLl
energy
Pow a parLner can help
now LhaL your body ls ln good shape you can progress Lo Lhe nexL sLep conLrolllng
your energy by relaxlng or lnLenslfylng lL as parL of your LanLrlc pracLlce lL's lmporLanL
LhaL l dlscuss Lhese Lwo sLaLes because Lhey are conslsLenL wlLh Lhe LanLrlc prlnclples
of opposlLes 1haL ls energy can be sLlll or acLlve dynamlc or ln moLlon ?ou
need Lo know how Lo move your energy ln boLh of Lhese dlrecLlons
ln Lhls chapLer you'll learn some exerclses Lo puL you ln a mellow mood wlLh your
sex energy aL a calm flowlng pace or Lo amp you up so you're fully energlzed and hoL
Lo LroL 8emember LhaL you are ln conLrol of your body Lemple as long as you have
been properly prepared lL wlll respond Lo whaL you ask lL Lo do
74
Ways Lo Calm uown
Llfe ls sLressful so undersLandably lL mlghL be dlfflculL Lo do some of your LanLrlc
pracLlces lf you aren'L ln Lhe rlghL frame of mlnd Worrylng abouL work a healLh
problem or a relaLlonshlp can prevenL you from dlrecLlng your energy as you wlsh
Pere are some ways Lo calm down and relax your energy
ConLrol your breaLh 1ake a deep breaLh ln Lo Lhe counL of seven and exhale Lo a
longer counL (see how hlgh you can go) Lxhallng longer Lhan you lnhale relaxes
you and decreases your hearL raLe 8efer Lo ChapLer 3 Splnnlng ?our
Wheels and 8reaLhlng Lo LcsLasy" for more deLalls abouL uslng your breaLh Lo
dlrecL your energy
SlL sLlll and empLy your mlnd LeL LhoughLs come and go wlLhouL focuslng on
Lhem Cr Lry medlLaLlng on a slngle word such as om" Lo calm your mlnd
Ad[usL your envlronmenL Lo ellmlnaLe dlsLracLlons such as rlnglng phones lrrlLaLlng
sLreeL nolse or glarlng brlghL llghLs
LlghL candles and soak ln a warm bubble baLh
1ake a long walk play wlLh Lhe dog or Loss a ball around wlLh your klds !usL
abouL any physlcal acLlvlLy ls a sLress reducer
Close your eyes and plcLure a sooLhlng scene such as Lhe ocean lmaglne Lhe
smell of Lhe salL alr and Lhe feel of Lhe sand beLween your Loes
SooLhe yourself wlLh massage use long smooLh sLrokes Lo calm you whlle you
breaLh slowly and deeply use cream Lo gllde your hands over your skln
Alr ?oga as a SLress 8educer
?ou llkely have a baslc ldea abouL yoga lf you don'L
already pracLlce lLbuL alr yoga? WhaL ls LhaL? lL's a
fasclnaLlng varlaLlon on more LradlLlonal yoga LhaL lncorporaLes
LanLrlc prlnclples ueveloped by WashlngLon
uC LanLrlc Leacher !oshua SmlLh lL lnvolves
movlng Lhe body lnLo LradlLlonal yoga poses Lhen leLLlng
your body seLLle comforLably lnLo poslLlons lL
feels lL wanLs Lo move lnLo
SLarL by assumlng one of Lhe slmplesL yoga poses Lhe
Lree pose SLand wlLh feeL shoulderwldLh aparL knees
sllghLly benL looklng down Lxhale deeply Lhrough
Lhe mouLh focuslng on a spoL on Lhe ground falllng
deeper and deeper lnLo your body wlLh each exhale
Close your eyes lnhale Lhrough Lhe nose ralse your
noLlce Lhe level of your energy
aL any parLlcular Llme by raLlng lL
on a scale from 0 Lo 10 wlLh 0
belng Lhe leasL energeLlc and 10
belng Lhe mosL WaLch how Lhe
raLlng changes by acLlvlLles you
purposefully do Lo ralse or lower
your energy
73
ChapLer 6 Amp up or uamp uown ?our Sexual Lnergy
head and allow your hands Lo drlfL upward as lf holdlng a balloon ln each hand
(unLll level wlLh your head) As you exhale Lhrough Lhe mouLh allow your arms Lo
arch forward leLLlng Lhe head and body Lo be gulded genLly Loward Lhe ground 8elax
Lhe head arms [aw and shoulders feellng llke a rag doll
now move ln whaLever way your splne and body wanL Lo move 1hls ls dlfferenL from
oLher yoga SmlLh explalns because you are noL followlng poses LhaL are deflned ln a
book or esLabllshed pracLlce buL movlng compleLely ln Lhe unknown WlLh each exhale
ln your mouLh" SmlLh lnsLrucLs allow your body Lo move ln a dlfferenL way
SLay LanLrlcally aware of your breaLh and you wlll be carrled lnLo a sLaLe of LranscendenL
sLlllness"
Amplng up for Cood Lovlng
SomeLlmes you really feel Loo Llred for sex or noL lnLeresLed enough even lf parL of
you really wanLs Lo make love or saLlsfy your parLner's deslre 1he good news ls Lhere
are many ways LanLrlc sex pracLlces can help you energlze your body for lovemaklng
ConLrol ?our 8reaLhlng
1ake a deep breaLh ln Lo Lhe counL of seven and
exhale Lo a shorLer counL lnhallng longer Lhan
you exhale lncreases your hearL raLe (1hls ls Lhe
opposlLe Lechnlque of whaL l descrlbed earller Lo
calm down your energy)
AnoLher breaLhlng Lechnlque LhaL can recharge
you ls Lhe flre breaLh lnhale and exhale rapldly
Lhrough Lhe nose LeL your belly flll up and Lhen
deflaLe wlLh Lhe alr
racLlce Lhe Sacrum 1ap
1ap on your sacral area (Lhe Lrlangle above Lhe end
of your Lallbone and below your walsL) 1hls ls Lhe
home of powerful energy (called kundallnl" energy
because lL ls released from Lhe kunda gland locaLed
aL Lhe base of Lhe splne) 1anLra workshops
llke Lhose LaughL by a hlghly respecLed organlzaLlon
called 1anLrlka lnLernaLlonal (see Appendlx 8 Workshops Web SlLes 1eachers
and 1anLra CommunlLles") ofLen lnclude more elaboraLe varlaLlons of Lhls pracLlce
lor example one parLner lles down and Lhe oLher adds moLlons (runnlng Lhumbs up
Lhe splne breaLhlng warm alr up Lhe splne) Lo move Lhe energy up Lhe splne afLer
Lapplng Lhe sacrum
8locks Lo 8llss
Conslder your physlcal condlLlon
ln any acLlvlLy LhaL alLers your
energy especlally slnce acceleraLed
breaLhlng can make you
llghLheaded or dlzzy lor example
people wlLh hearL condlLlons
should be especlally careful
consulL your docLor
76
uo Lhe Chakra 1hump
1ap on any of your chakras Lo awaken Lhe energy Lhere 1hls doesn'L mean Lap danclng
wlLh your feeL! 8aLher lL means maklng rapld repeLlLlve upanddown Lapplng
moLlons on Lhe body wlLh Lhe pads of your flngers ?ou can also make a flsL and use
Lhe sofLer sldes of your hands 8evlew Lhe locaLlons of Lhe chakras ln ChapLer 3
racLlce SLreamlng
SLreamlng ls a varlaLlon of Lhe prevlous exerclses 1he glver Laps forcefully on elLher
slde of Lhe recelver's splne wlLh Lhe flngerLlps sLarLlng from Lhe sacrum and progresslng
up Lo Lhe neck A nlce addlLlon When you geL Lo Lhe shoulders do a nlce massage!
uance up an Lnergy SLorm
1he beneflLs of dance as movemenL body condlLlonlng and [usL havlng fun are endless!
l'll dlscuss Lhls more ln ChapLer 13 Make lL !ulcy wlLh Maglc and lay" when l
share some playful Lhlngs Lo do wlLh your parLner uL on some muslc aL home and
leL yourself sway bob shlmmy and shake lmprovlse When l do Lhls l go from
lmaglnlng belng a balleL dancer Lo Lhlnklng of myself as a Chlnese god wleldlng a
sword uon'L worry lf you don'L have a parLner Lo dance wlLh Conslder Laklng a
dance class wheLher modern [azz ballroom swlng or Lango (qulLe popular now)
1aps Lo awaken energy
77
CeL LhaL elvls Movlng!
elvlc LhrusLs are essenLlal Lo generaLlng sexual energy and pleasure ln sex uolng
Lhem ls llke downlng a power bar for your sexual energy 1hls ls Lhe movemenL men
naLurally make when Lhey have sexbuL usually don'L prolong long enough Lo geL
Lhe Lrue beneflLs
elvlc LhrusLs are one of Lhe favored and fun exerclses ln LanLra workshops lL's qulLe a
slghL Lo see a room full of men and women sLandlng or lylng on Lhe floor archlng
Lhelr back and LhrusLlng Lhelr pelvls forward When everyone adds sound Lo Lhe
movemenL Lhe energy ln Lhe room ls nearly enough Lo llfL off!
elvlc LhrusLs can be done from a sLandlng poslLlon progresslng Lo Lhe floor Lhrough
varlous levels of squaLLlng or ln Lhe opposlLe dlrecLlon (sLarLlng from a lylng down
poslLlon and geLLlng up) uolng Lhem baslcally lnvolves LhrusLlng Lhe pelvls forward
and backward lL's lmporLanL Lo coordlnaLe your breaLh (exhale Lhrough Lhe mouLh as
you LhrusL forward and lnhale Lhrough Lhe nose as you arch backward) Cnce you geL
Lhe hang of lL you can move your arms Lo help move your energy When you do
Lhese exerclses alone you can plcLure yourself LhrusLlng agalnsL a parLner havlng lnLercourse
Lo help allow yourself Lo geL really sexy and seducLlve Cr you can do Lhese
exerclses faclng a parLnerand feel as lf you are already ln Lhe sex acL!
elvlc LhrusLs Lo bulld sexual energy
78
lanLaslze
lL's normal and even healLhy Lo have sexual fanLaslesfleeLlng LhoughLs or exLended
sLorles ln your mlnd abouL pasL experlences or lmaglned slLuaLlons LhaL are arouslng
Clve yourself permlsslon Lo have Lhese LhoughLs wlLhouL worrylng abouL wheLher
Lhey are bad or wrong Powever keep ln mlnd LhaL LanLrlc pracLlce requlres LhaL you
always brlng your aLLenLlon back lnLo your body sensaLlons and Lhe presenL so you
fully appreclaLe your real experlence your parLner and whaL ls golng on ln Lhe
momenL
LeL ?ourself Co!
An lmporLanL prlnclple ln bulldlng sexual energy ls Lo free your LhoughLs and movemenLs
from lnhlblLlons Cne Lechnlque Lo do Lhls ls called Lhe dynamlc medlLaLlon"
1hls ls a Lechnlque developed by Lhe lndlan mysLlc Csho who orlglnaLed many
LanLrlc pracLlces Lo brlng abouL enllghLenmenL 1he flrsL Llme l dld Lhls pracLlce aL
Lhe Csho reLreaL cenLer ln une lndla l was lmpressed wlLh how brllllanLly and arLfully
lL can help move energy
1he dynamlc medlLaLlon" ls done ln several parLs ln Lhe flrsL parL shake your body
for up Lo 13 mlnuLes whlle breaLhlng ln and ouL forcefully and qulckly llap your
arms (you'll look humorously llke a chlcken!) Lo geL more energy flowlng LeL your
volce go and say glbberlsh lree your mlnd and loosen your [aw and leL your llmbs
fly where Lhey may 8olLs of energy wlll surge Lhrough your body and every cell wlll
feel allve and Llngllng AfLerward sLop abrupLly and go lnLo a sLaLe of medlLaLlve sllence
Lo absorb Lhe energy AfLer Lhls perlod of medlLaLlon leL yourself become acLlve
by danclng and havlng unlnhlblLed fun ?ou can purchase a Lape of Lhls medlLaLlon
from Csho lnLernaLlonal (see Appendlx 8 for conLacL lnformaLlon)
uo Lhe ShakLl Shake"
AnoLher way Lo acLlvaLe your energy ls Lo do Lhe ShakLl Shake" 1hls ls a wonderful
Lechnlque l use ln many of my classes and workshops especlally when parLlclpanLs
come ln feellng Llred from Lhelr days of classes sLudylng or work 1he Lechnlque ls
very slmple uL on some muslc LhaL you can'L reslsL movlng Lo SLarL by shaklng [usL
your rlghL leg Lhen your lefL leg keep up wlLh Lhe beaL of Lhe muslc CeL your hlps
arms and hands movlng 8ock your shoulders LeL your head go (careful wlLh your
neck!) CeL your whole body lnLo Lhe acLlon noLlce how allve you feel
1ake Lama 8reaLhs
Lama breaLhlng ls one of my favorlLe ways Lo amp up When l glve lecLures l even
have Lhe aLLendees do lL Lo refresh Lhemselves even aL Llmes ln Lhe mlddle of my
speech! lL's qulLe an exhllaraLlng experlenceand qulLe a slghL! 1he monks ln 1lbeL
79
use Lhese movemenLs and flnd Lhem so effecLlve ln
warmlng Lhe body LhaL Lhey can go up ln Lhe
mounLalns naked and sLay warm 1here are an exLended
serles of moves ln sequences Pere are Lwo
slmple Lechnlques LhaL l have adapLed for use ln
my groups wlLh greaL effecLlveness
SLand sLralghL wlLh knees sllghLly benL and
shoulderwldLh aparL lnhale and ralse your
arms sLralghL ouL Lo your sldes Lxhale dropplng
your arms Lo your sldes blowlng Lhe alr
ouL and maklng a bellowsllke sound unLll
your arms come Lo resL aL your sldes noLlce
how you feel 8epeaL Lhls Lhree Llmes
SLand flrmly rooLed Lo Lhe ground legs
shoulderwldLh aparL lnhale and ralse one
arm maklng a flsL up above your head and
drop lL whlle exhallng blowlng ouL Lhe alr
forcefully and leLLlng a sound come ouL
AlLernaLe arms (1wlce mlghL be enough Lo
[azz you up)
Lama breaLhs
1anLra 1uLorlal
SplnnlngLwlrllng around ln a
[oyful dance movemenLls parL
of energlzlng ceremonles ln
Suflsm an lslamlc mysLlcal movemenL
LhaL some WesLerners follow
Splnnlng ls lnLended help
you connecL wlLh Lhe dlvlne
(Cod) lf you Lry lL don'L spln so
long LhaL you become dlzzy and
lose your balance and Lake care
noL Lo bump lnLo anyLhlng
80
Ask ?our arLner for Pelp
Any one of Lhe Lechnlques ln Lhls chapLer can be done alone or wlLh a parLner
LeLLlng your parLner know Lhe level of your sexual energy and your wllllngness Lo ad[usL
or Lo maLch hls or her lnLeresL lncreases LrusL and lnLlmacy beLween you
lor example Andy knew LhaL hls parLner All had planned a speclal evenlng for Lhelr
annlversary and would wanL Lo be especlally close and Lo make love 8uL he had had
an especlally bad day aL Lhe offlce wlLh an lmporLanL deal LhaL fell Lhrough leavlng
hlm feellng faLlgued and dlscouraged noL wanLlng Lo dlsappolnL her he explalned
Lhe dllemma She happlly allowed hlm Llme alone Lo calm down by breaLhlng medlLaLlng
and Laklng a shower and Lhen helped hlm shlfL hls mood by glvlng hlm a
long relaxlng massage
Movlng your energy alone or wlLh a parLner prepares you for sharlng nlghLs of pleasure
as descrlbed ln Lhe followlng chapLers
?ou conLrol your energy and declde wheLher you wanL Lo be sexual don'L glve
up feellng LhaL you're [usL Loo Llred and can'L do anyLhlng abouL lL
lL ls posslble Lo calm your energy for LanLrlc sex by conLrolllng your breaLh
LhoughLs and movemenLs
?ou can also amp up your energy for sex by parLlcular ways of conLrolllng your
breaLhlng or performlng cerLaln exerclses or movemenLs LhaL geL your body
movlng
?ou can lncrease or decrease your energy levels wlLh cerLaln movemenLs or acLlvlLles
on your own or wlLh your parLner leL your parLner know your energy
level and whaL help you would llke
ChapLer 7
SeLLlng Lhe SLage
for ?our 1anLrlc
nlghLs of leasure
ln 1hls ChapLer
Maklng Llme for lovemaklng
reparlng for your LanLrlc nlghL of pleasure
8aLhlng rlLuals
Cod and goddess aLLlre Lo spark your deslre
Arranglng your Lemple of love and your love alLar
WhaL Lo do and where Lo go on your LanLra daLe
Conslder lovemaklng as your LanLrlc daLe" a speclal geLLogeLher ln Lwo sLeps plannlng
and preparlng for your nlghL of pleasure and spendlng Lhe acLual Llme LogeLher
Pavlng sex ls noL [usL an acL lL ls a rlLual experlence LhaL requlres LhoughL and dellberaLe
acLlons as parL of Lhe seducLlon
Lvery acLlon serves a mulLlple purpose Lo quleL your mlnd puL you ln Lhe mood
bulld anLlclpaLlon and honor your parLner uress up your self and Lhe space where
you wlll make love paylng aLLenLlon Lo Lhe smallesL deLalls ALLenLlon Lo deLalls ls a
slgn of honorlng each oLher and your Llme LogeLher lL shows Lhe value you place on
each oLher and on your relaLlonshlp ?our LanLrlc nlghL of pleasure sLarLs wlLh seLLlng
aslde Llme Lo be LogeLhersomeLhlng many couples neglecL
82
Maklng 1lme Lnough for Love
We never have enough Llme for sex 1hls ls one of Lhe mosL common complalnLs l've
heard from couples over Lhe years! Cf course you're busy wlLh work famlly frlends
and a full calendar buL whaL could be more lmporLanL Lhan maklng Llme for Lhls speclal
klnd of lovlng?
SeL aslde Llme for one anoLher Lo do Lhese pracLlces SLarL wlLh an hour on Lwo dlfferenL
occaslons durlng Lhe week Agree on Lhe speclflc Llme and wrlLe lL ln your calendar
1hls wlll afflrm LhaL your relaLlonshlp ls of prlmary lmporLance from whlch oLher
aspecLs also flow lncludlng your [ob famlly relaLlonshlps and your llfe ln general
8uL where's Lhe sponLanelLy?" complalned uonald when l Lold hlm Lo seL up such a
LanLrlc sex schedule Who wanLs sex Lo be so organlzed? 1haL sounds llke no fun"
uonald's ob[ecLlons are common especlally for men Powever every new exerclse or
selflmprovemenL efforL requlres alloLLlng Llme and expendlng efforL wheLher lL's
yoga welghL llfLlng or a weekend workshop 1o keep your prlorlLles ln order ln our
busy world you have Lo lnslsL on schedullng aL leasL aL flrsL laLer you can be more
sponLaneous use Lhe followlng calendar Lo check off when you wlll be LogeLher for
your LanLrlc sex pracLlces SLarL wlLh one hour Lwlce a week and add more Llme as you
advance ln your pracLlces
1he Consclous Cleanup
Surely you know Lhe experlence of dresslng your besL
for a speclal daLe or a qulck cleanup lf you anLlclpaLe
Laklng your daLe back Lo your place (Losslng newspapers
ln Lhe garbage hldlng plles of papers Lhrowlng
cloLhes ln Lhe closeL) lf you've been LogeLher a long
Llme and Lake each oLher for granLed lL's Llme Lo go
back Lo Lhose days of daLlng when you were maklng
an efforL Lo lmpress Conslder Lhe followlng 10 Llps for
consclous cleanups boLh alone and wlLh your parLner
1 Always keep your flngernalls clean and neaLly
cllpped neaLly Lrlmmed clean nalls are noL
only aLLracLlve (dlrLy nalls are mosL ofLen menLloned
as Lurnoffs by boLh men and women)
Lhey are lmporLanL for hyglene because you'll
use your flngers Lo sLlmulaLe your parLner's skln
and pleasure hls or her lnLernal organs
2 8rush your LeeLh regularly especlally before a romanLlc lnLerlude wlLh your parLner
Llke nalls unbrushed LeeLh are hlgh on Lhe llsL of Lurnoffs menLloned by
boLh men and women use LooLhpasLe wlLh baklng soda for a good cleanslng
and swlsh wlLh mouLhwash for an exLra feellng of freshness
LcsLasy LssenLlals
lalllng lnLo a passlonaLe
embracesponLaneously anyLlme
anyplacels exclLlng and
cerLalnly adds qulck flre Lo a
relaLlonshlpbuL preparlng for
LhaL speclal encounLer can bulld
a sLeady burn uLLlng Llme energy
and care lnLo preparlng for
your Llme LogeLher makes you
boLh feel speclal!
1a
nLrlc Love 1ogeLher 1lme
6AM7AM8A
M
911AMnCCn2M
33M6M7M8M9M10M11MMlunlCP12AM33A
M
Mon
1ues
Wed
1hurs
lrl
SaL
Sun
83
ChapLer 7 SeLLlng Lhe SLage for ?our 1anLrlc nlghLs of leasure
84
3 Wash each oLher's halr 1hls ls parLlcularly good for Lhe man Lo do for Lhe
woman as lL ls ofLen Lhe flrsL Llme he has done such an acL for her
4 Shave hlm paylng careful aLLenLlon Lo belng Lender on hls skln 1rusLlng her Lo
do Lhls wlll make her feel proud and pleased
3 alnL her Loenalls uo hls nalls Loo for someLhlng new as more men are leLLlng
Lhemselves en[oy Lhls prlmplng wlLhouL Lhlnklng LhaL lL ls unmanly
6 Ad[usL Lhe llghLlng ln Lhe baLhroom MosL baLhrooms
have harsh llghLlng especlally over Lhe
slnk 8eplace Lhe bulbs wlLh rosy colored ones
for a speclal evenlng or brlng ln a speclal lamp
lace candles on slnk counLers baLhLub ledges
and floor Lo creaLe a sensuous aLmosphere
7 1ake Lurns preparlng a baLh for each oLher or
share a romanLlc baLh LogeLher (more on LhaL ln
Lhe nexL secLlon) Check Lhe waLer LemperaLure
AlLhough a cool baLh ls sLlmulaLlng warm waLer
usually ls besL for relaxaLlon and Lo generaLe
feellngs of warmLh
8 lay muslc durlng your baLh Cne couple l
know mounLed sLereo speakers ln Lhelr baLhroom!
A slmpler ldea ls Lo brlng ln a Cu player
or radlo (be careful of course LhaL elecLrlcal appllances
don'L fall ln Lhe waLer!)
9 8uy speclal scenLed soaps baLh olls sofL
brushes and even baLh mlLLs MosL deparLmenL
sLores have large secLlons for baLh lLems and
sLores such as 8ed 8aLh and 8eyond and 1he
8ody Shop speclallze ln all klnds of accouLremenLs
for Lhe baLh
10 repare your exlL wlLh a maL (Lo avold sLepplng
on a cold floor) cozy baLhrobe and large plush
Lowels keep Lhe laLLer Lwo lLems separaLe from whaL you use everyday Lo make
Lhe experlence speclal
1he 1anLrlc 8aLhlng 8lLual
l'm sure you're famlllar wlLh Laklng a qulck shower or swlsh ln a Lub afLer a sLressful
day Lo geL ready for sex 8uL when's Lhe lasL Llme you langulshed ln Lhe baLh wlLh
your lover? Languorous dellberaLe showerlng and washlng LogeLher ls an essenLlal
parL of LanLrlc sex 1lme ln Lhe Lub ls for far more Lhan geLLlng clean lL also ls Lo
1anLra 1uLorlal
ln Lhe Arm and Pammer llrsL
lmpresslon SLudy of more Lhan a
Lhousand men and women Lop
Lurnoffs lncluded body odor (89
percenL) unpleasanL personallLy
(86 percenL) bad breaLh (84 percenL)
dlscolored or yellow LeeLh
(70 percenL) Loo much perfume
(62 percenL) and dlrLy flngernalls
(60 percenL) More Lhan
half of Lhose surveyed sald fresh
breaLh becomes more lmporLanL
Lhe longer Lhey are ln a romanLlc
relaLlonshlp eople wlLh bad
breaLh were descrlbed as unclean
unhealLhy lazy unaLLracLlve
and unsuccessful
83
Ln[oy Lhe experlence of belng LogeLher ln
Lhe waLer
CeL ln Louch wlLh your bodles
Arouse your sensaLlons
8ulld your awareness of each oLher
1he mosL lmporLanL aspecL of LanLrlc baLhlng ls Lo
make washlng each oLher a rlLuallsLlc acL done
wlLh dellberaLe aLLenLlon lnsLead of swlshlng
soap qulckly over body parLs llnger on cerLaln
spoLs 8e creaLlve as you would durlng a massage
Soapy hands offer a wonderful opporLunlLy Lo
sllde over your parLner's skln use dlfferenL
Louches Lo dellghL Lhe skln from long smooLh
sLrokes Lo clrcular Lraclngs around areas such as
Lhe back and buLLocks AlLernaLe your Louch
uslng Lhe soapy palms of your hand on especlally
senslLlve places and llghL flngernall scraLches on
places such as arms and legs
1anLra 1uLorlal
8aLhlng ls an anclenL LradlLlon as
a prelude Lo lovemaklng
AnclenL 8oman and Creek lovers
sLepped down lnLo large open
baLhs and ln !apanese LradlLlon
lovers wenL from an exLremely
hoL Lub Lo an exLremely cold Lub
Lo sLlmulaLe clrculaLlon a pracLlce
conLlnued aL CrlenLal spas
1he beloveds' baLhlng
rlLual
86
!usL as you would ln massage sLarL wlLh nonsexual
areas Lo bulld anLlclpaLlon for more sexual parLs 1race
around Lhe breasLs and chesL dellberaLely and up Lhe
lnner Lhlghs Sllp hands dellcaLely onLo more sexual
areas lL can be an enLlrely new experlence for couples
Lo wash each oLher ln Lhese prlvaLe parLs Clean wlLh
an alr of lnnocencesLlll lnLendlng Lo sLlmulaLe your
parLnerLo add an elemenL of Leaslng and LanLallzlng
Cod and Coddess uress up
8emember when playlng dress up was fun? LlLLle glrls
love dresslng up as mommy or dresslng Lhelr dolls
and boys llke donnlng cowboy ouLflLs or Cl !oe gear
As we grow up we Lend Lo become conservaLlve and
cauLlous abouL aLLlre Cn your LanLra daLe leL yourself
have fun agaln play wlLh sLyles and fabrlcs plck
cloLhes you mlghL never lmaglne wearlng or use LhaL
flnery ln your closeL you've been savlng for a speclal
occaslon
Cf course you llke Lo Lhlnk you're loved for exacLly who you are raLher Lhan whaL
you look llke or whaL you wear lndeed your lnner belng ls whaL really maLLers ln
LanLrlc lovemaklng buL beauLlfylng your ouLer belng ls a sLaLemenL of respecL for
yourself and your lover
MosL men geL qulckly Lo Lhe sLage of belng naked ln lovemaklng and of course you
can choose Lo be au naLurel buL LanLrlc sex lnvolves dresslng up before you undress
uresslng up Lo seduce your loverand Lo feel good abouL yourselfls a medlLaLlve acL
Lo draw aLLenLlon Lo your body Lo puL you ln a seducLlve mood and for [usL plaln
fun LeL yourself be creaLlve followlng Lhese suggesLlons
1anLrlc cloLhes are usually loose flLLlng and dlaphanous Lo maLch Lhe feellng of
flowlng Sensuous fabrlcs such as cuL velveLs and sllk encourage Louch Women
can wear flowlng dresses wrapped scarves or beaded collars Lhe more reveallng
Lhe beLLer Lo enLlce and please Lhe eye and lnvlLe Louch! 1he LanLrlc man can
wear a sllk shlrL (wlLh Lop buLLons open) sllk boxers or even coLLon slacks
1anLrlc men are noL afrald Lo wear wrapped maLerlals (commonly worn on exoLlc
lslands such as Pawall and 1ahlLl) called pareos whlch look llke sklrLs buL
are acLually qulLe mascullne
Make sure Lhese cloLhes are speclal noL Lhe same Lhlngs you wear every day
worklng around Lhe house or [usL hanglng ouL
CloLhes can be loungewear or ouLerwear as long as you feel good ln Lhem and
Lhey dellghL your parLner
WaLer sLrlklng Lhe skln can be
pleasurable lf you don'L have
Lhe luxury of [eLs ln a hoL Lub
buy an aLLachmenL LhaL can be
lnsLalled ln your Lub Lo clrculaLe
Lhe waLer or a shower head LhaL
emlLs elLher dlffuse or pelLlng
flows
87
Wear [ewelry LhaL draws more aLLenLlon Lhan whaL you would normally wear ln
publlc 8e dramaLlc leLLlng a sLrlng of pearls dangle lnLo your cleavage 1ry
exLralong dangllng earrlngs or a Lhln belL sLrung around your belly LxLra spark
can come from ankle braceleLs or Loe rlngs Some LanLrlc men leL Lhemselves go
wearlng a braceleL or necklace (as men dld ln anclenL 8oman or LgypLlan Llmes)
Lo add exLra sparkle and Lo surprlse Lhelr parLner
LxperlmenL wlLh new sLyles of cloLhlng you haven'L LhoughL of wearlng before
lck aLLlre for your LanLra daLe LhaL glves you an opporLunlLy Lo explore new
parLs of yourself and new fanLasles
use color 1he LradlLlonal LanLrlc colors are red and purple 8efer Lo ChapLer 3
Splnnlng ?our Wheels and 8reaLhlng Lo LcsLasy" Lo revlew Lhe colors assoclaLed
wlLh dlfferenL chakras and choose colors of cloLhlng Lo sLlmulaLe and accenLuaLe
cerLaln energy cenLers Wear orange underwear Lo awaken Lhe sex
cenLer a yellow scarf around your walsL Lo boosL your power a necklace wlLh a
Lurquolse sLone aL your LhroaL Lo help you express yourself or a purple shlrL Lo
lnsplre you Lo achleve a more splrlLual sLaLe of mlnd and unlon
?ou can undress allurlngly for your parLner even puLLlng on a sLrlp show Cr undress
each oLher slowly and seducLlvely or even rlp each oLher's cloLhes off ln a flL of
passlon
?our ldeal 8omanLlc SeLLlng
LlghLs! Camera! AcLlon! 1hlnk of a movle seL for Lhe mosL romanLlc or exclLlng love
scene you can lmaglne WhaL does Lhe seL look llke? llll ln Lhe followlng charL for
yourself and wlLh your parLner uo you have Lhe same ldeal lovemaklng space? 1alk
Cod and goddess dress up
88
abouL your dlfferenL ldeas of a perfecL seLLlng for lovemaklng 1ake Lurns descrlblng
your scenes fully and en[oy your parLner's scene allowlng yourself Lo lmaglne yourselves
belng Lhere
uescrlbe how Lhe mosL romanLlc scene would look lf you were dlrecLlng a love scene
ln a movle lor example under lace your ldeal scene mlghL be ouLdoors ln a fleld of
lllles whereas your parLner's mlghL be lndoors ln a bedroom wlLh a crackllng flreplace
under Lra you mlghL choose anclenL 8ome as belng mosL exclLlng or romanLlc
your parLner mlghL choose sevenLeenLhcenLury lrance
Cur ldeal Love Scene
WhaL l Llke WhaL My arLner Llkes
lace
LlghLlng
lurnlLure
SLyle
Lra
CLher characLerlsLlcs (speclfy)
repare ?our Sacred Lovemaklng Space
1hlnk of Lhe mosL eleganL Lemples caLhedrals and synagogues you have ever been ln
8emember your awe aL Lhe sLalned glass wlndows elaboraLe celllng palnLlngs marble
floors gllded wood carvlngs gold saLln or red velveL drapery 1hlnk of your lovemaklng
space wlLh Lhe same reverence and care as such Lemples
uresslng up your lovemaklng space follows Lhe same prlnclple as dresslng yourself
up before a speclal daLe 1hlnk of golng Lo a speclal evenL !usL as you'd puL on your
besL flnery dress up your room 8e mlndful of sLlmulaLlng all Lhe senses followlng
Lhese Llps
LlghL candles all around Lhe room uL dlmmers on your llghLs replace harsh
llghLlng wlLh sofLer flxLures or puL colored bulbs ln lamps lf you have overhead
llghLs place lamps sLraLeglcally urape scarves over lampshades wlLh llghLs LhaL
are Loo brlghL (a favorlLe LanLrlc Lrlck) 1hlnk of yourself on 1v or ln a movle
where llghLlng creaLes flaLLerlng vlews of Lhe people's faces and Lhe envlronmenL
Add scenL uL fresh flowers ln Lhe room llghL lncense or spray aromaLlc room
olls (uon'L overdo lL and of course be aLLenLlve Lo any allergles you or your
parLner have)
89
uress up your bed uL on a new coverleL
drape lL wlLh colored maLerlals purchased speclally
for Lhese occaslons and add sofL plllows
as decoraLlon and Lo supporL body parLs
keep love Loys handy lncludlng massage olls
feaLher boas and sllk scarves Lo run over your
parLner's body Lo awaken sensaLlons
Pave sacramenLs nearby LhaL sLlmulaLe your
LasLe buds and Lo LoasL your lovemaklng
1hese can lnclude anyLhlng from chocolaLecovered
sLrawberrles Lo Lhe LradlLlonal chllled
glasses of champagne
neaLen up SLore messy plles of papers ln a
closeL sLash exerclse equlpmenL under Lhe
bed cover dlsLracLlng lLems such as sLacks of
vldeos wlLh scarves or aLLracLlve swaLches of
maLerlal
Change ?our SeLLlng
8e creaLlve ln your lovemaklng Make love ln dlfferenL
places lnslde and ouLslde Lhe home blesslng
each area wlLh your love llowers wlll bloom and
Lrees wlll grow Laller where you come LogeLher
wlLh blessed lnLenLlon and splrlLual unlon
Powever maklng love ln Lhe same seLLlng and
keeplng your love alLar ln Lhe same place are also
good ldeas as your lovemaklng creaLes an energy
vorLex LhaL bullds and lnLenslfles your unlon when
you reLurn Lo LhaL space Cellular memory and
menLal assoclaLlons are Lrlggers so LhaL even lf you
are noL ln Lhe mood enLerlng LhaL space can geL
you Lhere
Muslc Lo Make Love 8y
Muslc sLlrs Lhe soul 8esearch has proven LhaL cerLaln
sounds and Lempos dlrecLly affecL our breaLhlng
and hearL raLe whlch ln Lurn affecLs our mood
lor Lhese reasons muslc wlll play a very lmporLanL
role ln your LanLrlc daLe Choose muslc you and your parLner en[oy wheLher lL ls
classlcal operaLlc or even rockandroll MosL lmporLanL selecL muslc consclously Lo
uon'L lnhlblL lovemaklng by fearlng
LhaL your fancy saLln sheeLs
wlll be rulned by olls or body
flulds 8uy Lhem for LhaL purpose
replace Lhem when necessary
or puL Lowels down for
proLecLlon use sllk sheeLs for
sensuallLy or puL on flannel
sheeLs because Lhey are warm
absorbenL and feel comforLable
on Lhe skln
8locks Lo 8llss
Cne LanLra Leacher l know recommends
noL always maklng
love ln your bed saylng lL can
Lrlgger physlcal reacLlons and
menLal assoclaLlons wlLh sleep
and Lhe release of melaLonln
LhaL lnduces drowslness ln addlLlon
a LoosofL maLLress or waLerbed
does noL provlde as much
frlcLlon of body parLs presslng
agalnsL one anoLher as a floor
(padded of course)
90
creaLe Lhe mood you deslre l'll go lnLo more deLall abouL Lhls and glve you suggesLlons
abouL whaL klnd of muslc Lo play ln ChapLer 18 Sex Song and vldeoLape"
Check ouL LhaL chapLer when lL's Llme Lo sLack your Cu changer for your daLe
8ulldlng an AlLar
An alLar ls a space on a ledge Lable or on Lhe floor where you place sacred ob[ecLs
symbollc of your prayers and respecL for splrlLs !usL as ln a rellglous lnsLlLuLlon looklng
aL Lhese ob[ecLs lnsplres you Lo a hlgher sLaLe of consclousness 8e on Lhe lookouL
for sacred ob[ecLs Lo decoraLe your house LhaL Lrlgger splrlLual feellngs when you look
aL Lhem CollecL Lhe ob[ecLs and deslgn Lhls space LogeLher as an experlence LhaL
brlngs you close LogeLher and a LesLlmonlal Lo your LogeLherness Approach Lhls alLar
before your lovemaklng and say a prayer LogeLhersllenLly or aloudLo bless Lhe
lLems and your upcomlng unlon
lLems on your alLar mlghL lnclude
hoLos of yourselves LhaL you cherlsh or phoLos
of revered rellglous leaders or LanLrlc masLers
Cb[ecLs from your llfe LogeLher LhaL are especlally
meanlngful (shells from a Lrlp Lo ll[l Lhe
class rlng he gave you Lhe crysLal she boughL ln
a small shop ln Lhe mounLalns)
lLems represenLlng Lhe elemenLs earLh (a speclal
sLone) flre (candles) waLer (a bowl) alr (a
feaLher) and splrlL (crysLal)
llowers especlally fresh flowers
Speclal glfLs LhaL you've glven each oLher
Sacred ob[ecLs such as sLaLues of Shlva and
ShakLl ln embrace or Lhe bell and dor[e (symbollc
of Lhe male and female splrlL)
Ponorlng 8lLuals Lo SancLlfy ?our Space
Love rlLuals lnvolvlng movemenLs and dedlcaLlons help creaLe a safe space and a
sancLlfled area ln whlch Lo surrender Lo each oLher Pere you can achleve LransformaLlon
and Lrancellke sLaLes LhaL lead Lo ecsLasy 1he followlng are some ways Lo sancLlfy
your speclal space
Walk around Lhe space ln each of Lhe four corners saylng a prayer aL each corner
Make up your own prayer such as l dedlcaLe Lhls experlence Lo you my
beloved may lL fulflll all your hearL's deslre" Cr reclLe a prayer LhaL comes from
LcsLasy LssenLlals
As ls done ln anclenL naLlve
Amerlcan LradlLlons llghL sLlcks
of sage (avallable aL healLh food
sLores) Lo purlfy Lhe alr wlLh lLs
pungenL aroma Move lL around
Lhe room lnLo each corner and
around your body
91
your anclenL people Marla ?raceburu ls an Amerlcan lndlan descendanL ln
Louch wlLh her splrlLual herlLage descrlbed ln her book Legends and rophecles of
Lhe Cuero Apache (lnner 1radlLlons lnLernaLlonal/8ear 8ooks 2002) Pere ls her
suggesLlon for a chanL
We come from Lhe LarLh MoLher We come from Lhe Sky laLher
We come here Lo be all LhaL we can be
1he legacy unfolds here ln llfe
Movlng llke sofL warm raln Cur love ascends
Cascadlng Lo LarLh SplrlL's savlng grace
uaallna and so lL ls
Walk around Lhe space ln each of Lhe four corners blesslng lL saylng a prayer Lo
make lL safe or lnvoklng and lnvlLlng Lhe splrlLs of Lhe four dlrecLlons of Lhe
unlverse and any oLher splrlLs you would llke Lo bless and proLecL you ln your
lovemaklng (good guldes holy splrlLs or ancesLors) lor example walk Lo Lhe
norLh corner rlng a bell and say We lnvlLe splrlLs of Lhe norLh Lo send Lhelr
blesslng and proLecLlve energy Lo our lovemaklng" Say someLhlng slmllar aL Lhe
souLh easL and wesL corners
Clve each oLher a glfL as an offerlng of your love and devoLlon and Lo sancLlfy
Lhe space as holy and honorlng 1hls can be a small glfL LhaL does noL have Lo
cosL a greaL deal of money Make lL someLhlng LhoughLful LhaL you can use lmmedlaLely
ln your lovemaklng ceremony such as a small sLone a Cu of hls favorlLe
muslc a scarf or scenLed oll
Clvlng glfLs of love
92
CuleL Lhe Mlnd
SeLLle down lnLo your space afLer baLhlng and honorlng Lhe space rlLuals and quleL
Lhe mlnd Lo allow your energles Lo mlngle SlL ln Lhe yab yum poslLlon as descrlbed
ln ChapLer 2 1he 8aslcs ?es ?ln ?ang ?onl and ?ab ?um" uo eye gazlng and
breaLhlng Lechnlques as descrlbed ln ChapLers 3 Splnnlng ?our Wheels and
8reaLhlng Lo LcsLasy" and 8 racLlces for 8eloveds Lo 8each 8llss" ChanL Lo synchronlze
your energy and quleL your mlnd lollow Lhe repeLlLlous manLras of a parLlcular
Cu do LradlLlonal ones (such as slmply repeaLlng om" or aum") or make up
your own
SeL ?our lnLenLlon 1ogeLher
All Loo ofLen couples [ump lnLo bedand sexsllenLly 8uL slnce LanLrlc sex ls a dedlcaLlon
and noL a mlndless acL slL opposlLe each oLher and seL an lnLenLlon for your
lovemaklng Sexual and love energy ls powerful energysay whaL you would llke Lo
manlfesL ln Lhls lovemaklng sesslon and lL wlll be more llkely Lo come Lrue as you leL
your energy expand and merge 1ake Lurns speaklng from your hearL allowlng whaLever
needs Lo be sald Lo come up Ask for anyLhlng from your parLner or from dlvlnlLles
lncludlng personal happlness and world peace
1anLra 1ales
8arry's lnLenLlon ln maklng love wlLh hls glrlfrlend 8eLh was l lnLend for Lhls Llme LogeLher
Lo brlng us Lo a beLLer undersLandlng of each oLher Lo cleanse our hearLs from Lhe
anger of lasL week and Lo blend our bodles so LhaL we feel hlgher sLaLes of pleasure Lhan
we ever have before" 8eLh sald My lnLenLlon ls for us Lo go deeper ln our love Lhan we
have ever gone before for me Lo feel beLLer abouL my body and for Lhe love energy LhaL
we generaLe Lo spread ouL Lo heal Lhe chlldren ln oLher parLs of Lhe world who are sufferlng
and Lhe men and women who are Lhe vlcLlms of cruel unlovlng acLs from oLhers
and Lo lnsplre all Lhose who do noL yeL know Lhe [oys of Lhese pracLlces" Alex had a slmllarly
Louchlng blesslng for hls beloved addlng a dedlcaLlon Lo her healLh buL also a humorous
requesL and may you have LhaL Mercedes 8enz car you drool over!"
93
Colng CuL on ?our 1anLra uaLe
1he LanLra daLe refers Lo your lovemaklng rlLual ln a prlvaLe space usually aL home
Powever Lhe prelude Lo Lhls daLe can cerLalnly lnclude acLlvlLles you do on a regular
daLe ln whlch you acLually go somewhere Lo do someLhlngbefore comlng home for
lovemaklng LxclLemenL can bulld when you are ouL somewhere LogeLher WhaL are
Lhe mosL exclLlng Lhlngs you can do LogeLher LhaL wlll lncrease your feellngs of LogeLherness
and bulld your anLlclpaLlon for prlvaLe Llme LogeLher?
8evlew Lhe followlng llsL and check off acLlvlLles you would mosL en[oy Add Lo Lhe
llsL WrlLe down pleasurable acLlvlLles you can Lhlnk of ask your parLner Lo do Lhe
same and compare your llsLs uld you come up wlLh slmllar acLlvlLles? 8ead your llsL
Lo each oLher and dlscuss whaL you would mosL en[oy abouL each one Co over Lhem
one aL a Llme slowly en[oylng Lhe descrlpLlon of whaL you would do noLlce how
you feel when you lmaglne Lhe acLlvlLy Where ls Lhe pleasureor reslsLanceLo
Lhese acLlvlLles? WhaL fears do each of you have abouL dolng whaL each of you chose?
AcLlvlLles LlsL
AcLlvlLy l Llke My arLner Llkes
Pave a romanLlc dlnner
Walk ln Lhe park
See a movle
Co danclng
8lde blcycles
vlslL frlends
ALLend a concerL
Work ouL LogeLher
CLher
CLher
CLher
94
Lven lf you have a full calendar of work famlly obllgaLlons and oLher commlLmenLs
lL's lmporLanL for you and your parLner Lo make Llme for love
repare for lovemaklng Lo make your encounLer speclal by pamperlng yourself
and seLLlng up your ldeal love scene (your bedroom or wherever you choose
Lo make love) paylng aLLenLlon Lo appeal Lo all Lhe senses
CreaLe a sensuous baLhlng rlLual noL [usL for cleanlng buL for addlng Lo your
sensual pleasure
uress up for a speclal occaslon selecLlng apparel LhaL flaLLers your shape and
seduces and adornmenLs LhaL draw aLLenLlon
SancLlfy your body and your space wlLh rlLuallsLlc purlfylng and prayers and seL
your lnLenLlons LhaL honor Lhe speclal evenL you wlll make of your unlon
ChapLer 8
racLlces for
8eloveds Lo
8each 8llss
ln 1hls ChapLer
Pow Lo reach Lhe sLaLe of bllss
Slmple meLhods Lo synchronlze your energy
Splclng up your senses and sLlmulaLlng your parLner
llndlng your LanLrlc love Lrlggers
Learnlng sex ln Lhe flow lane"
8lLuals LhaL make lovemaklng speclal
now LhaL you've seL Lhe sLage for your LanLrlc connecLlon whaL are you Lo do? A naLural
answer would be Lo do whaL comes naLurally 8uL slnce LanLra ls a rlLuallsLlc pracLlce
Lhere are some acLlvlLles and ceremonles you can do LogeLher Lo faclllLaLe your
pleasure and help you reach Lhose hlgher realms of bllss 1hls chapLer lnLroduces you
Lo some of Lhose pracLlces
WhaL ls 8llss?
Pave you ever been so happy you almosL couldn'L belleve lL? 8een so aLLuned Lo
everyLhlng around you and smlled so hard LhaL your face hurL? lelL a brlghL whlLe
llghL enveloplng you and maybe even LransporLlng you Lo anoLher dlmenslon?
96
1haL's Lhe sLaLe of bllssdeeper Lhan dellghL [ulcler
Lhan [oyful ?ou're enrapLured and have Lhe feellng
LhaL all ls perfecL 8llss" ls Lhe hlghesL happlness ln a
word heaven" says 8odhl Avlnasha masLer Leacher
of splrlLual LransformaLlon and auLhor of !ewel ln Lhe
LoLus and Llvlng ln 8llss (1anLrlka lnLernaLlonal 2002)
8llss means feellng so good LhaL every cell ln your
body feels allve" says LanLra Leacher Laurle Pandlers
who leads workshops LlLled 8elng ln 8llss"
Pow do you geL Lo LhaL maglcal sLaLe of bllss? 8y belng
presenL ln Lhe momenL breaLhlng channellng your
energy feellng your love and pracLlclng Lhe Lechnlques
l'm sharlng wlLh you ln Lhls book 8odhl
Avlnasha has developed Lhls dynamlc bllss formula slmulLaneous
acLlvaLlon and lnLegraLlon of mlnd body
and soul 1he maglcal process lnvolves acLlvaLlng Lhe
body and sLllllng Lhe mlnd Lhen channellng sexual
energy Lhrough Lhe body Lo reach hlgher sLaLes of consclousness
WlLh Lhls formula you go from survlval Lo servlce from pleasure Lo creaLlvlLy
from conLrol Lo surrender" says 8odhl lL's brllllanL and lL works
Synchronlzlng ?our Lnergy
8ecause llfe ls so sLressful and you can'L always expecL LhaL you and your beloved wlll
be ln Lhe same mood lL ls very lmporLanL before beglnnlng any LanLrlc pracLlce LhaL
you do as much as posslble Lo be on Lhe same wavelengLh 1he maglc of LanLra ls LhaL
you can sLarL ouL ln a dlfferenL space and place flguraLlvely speaklng and Lhrough
cerLaln pracLlces you can geL lnLo Lhe same groove
Cne way Lo synchronlze your energy ls by breaLhlng LogeLher 8evlew Lhe breaLhlng
pracLlces l descrlbed ln deLall ln ChapLer 3 Splnnlng ?our Wheels and 8reaLhlng Lo
LcsLasy" ?ou'll recall LhaL Lhe breaLh guldes your energy ln varlous ways LhaL you
wanL lL Lo go
?ou can do Lhese breaLhs ln dlfferenL poslLlons Lo achleve lnLeresLlng new sensaLlons
lor example slL back Lo back whlle you do Lhe breaLhs (lnsLead of faclng each oLher)
and feel your parLner's chesL sldes and back expandlng Lhrough Lhe conLacL wlLh
your back ?ou can feel Lhls easlly lf you boLh have Laken a full breaLh so LhaL your
chesL and back expand As you breaLhe make up a sound Lo chanL LogeLher (use om"
or any sound boLh of you llke) Addlng a sound Lo breaLhlng LogeLher lnLenslfles your
connecLlon Lo each oLher
8locks Lo 8llss
Many people acLually reslsL bllss
llvlng wlLh Lhe llmlLlng bellef
LhaL lL can never be Lhls good!"
or fears LhaL Lhey wlll lose LhaL
feellng of happlness l lnvlLe you
Lo glve yourself permlsslon now
for lL Lo be LhaL good! 8elleve
LhaL you deserve lL!
97
ChapLer 8 racLlces for 8eloveds Lo 8each 8llss
Look lnLo My Lyes Lye Cazlng
Lye gazlng ls a baslc LanLrlc sex pracLlce wldely LaughL by LanLra Leachers of all schools
of LhoughL lL's a fundamenLal pracLlce LhaL leads Lo lnLense experlences when you do
lL rlghL lL sounds so slmplelooklng aL each oLherbuL ln facL Lhlnk abouL how dlfflculL
lL can be Lo acLually look lnLo anyone's eyes for any amounL of Llme lears of lnLlmacy
can make lL even more uncomforLable Lo look lnLo a lover's eyes deeply for an
exLended perlod of Llme Pow do you feel when a lover looks deeply and dlrecLly ln
your eyes? ?ou mlghL be dellghLed buL you mlghL also feel vulnerable selfconsclous
or embarrassed 1hese feellngs are normal!
Lye gazlng ln LanLrlc sex pracLlce means looklng deeply lnLo your parLner's eyes Lo
see behlnd Lhe obvlous (eye color eyelashes expresslon) lnLo hls or her soul lL can be
challenglng and Lake pracLlce
Lye gazlng wlLh deep
breaLhlng and energy
connecLlon
?ou should do eye gazlng ln mosL of Lhe exerclses l Lell you abouL LhroughouL Lhls
book because
lL sLllls your mlnd and focuses your aLLenLlon on whaL you are dolng raLher Lhan
on dlsLracLlng LhoughLs Lo keep you presenL and ln Lhe momenL
lL glves your parLner a good feellng LhaL you're LoLally paylng aLLenLlon and are
presenL for hlm or her
98
lL enables you Lo confronL your fears of deep connecLlon wlLh your beloved
lL Lransforms your relaLlonshlp Lo each oLher by geLLlng beyond menLal dlsLracLlons
and physlcal [udgmenLs Lo enLer each oLher's soul
Lye gazlng ls Lhe favorlLe sexual pracLlce of Lhe husband and wlfe LanLra Leachlng
Leam of Mark Mlchaels and aLrlcla !ohnson When people flrsL fall ln love Lhey
ofLen spend exLended perlods gazlng lnLo each oLher's eyes" says Mlchaels ln perfecLlng
eye gazlng you are consclously recreaLlng Lhe experlence of falllng ln love"
1o do eye gazlng sLand faclng your parLner ln a relaxed
and open posLure and gaze sofLly lnLo each
oLher's eyes for aL leasL Lhree mlnuLes (?ou can also do
eye gazlng whlle slLLlng ln yab yum or any comforLable
poslLlon as long as your energy cenLers are
allgned) Look predomlnanLly lnLo each oLher's lefL (recelvlng)
eye 8emember lL's noL a sLarlng conLesL keep
your eyes relaxed and bllnk lf you have Lo Come back
Lo gazlng lf you geL dlsLracLed lnsLead of focuslng on
Lhe ouLward acL of looklng be recepLlve so you can
melL deeper and deeper lnLo Lhe unlon wlLh your
beloved 8ecognlze and appreclaLe Lhe beauLy and [oy
LhaL you flnd ln your parLner's eyes" advlses !ohnson
noLlce whaLever feellngs come up (fear embarrassmenL
aLLracLlon love) keep breaLhlng noLlce your
body's reacLlons (llps LlghLenlng squlnLlng coughlng
shlfLlng) LvenLually you wlll be able Lo keep more
sLlll
1he PearL Pold
1hls exerclse sends love energy Lhrough your hands and lnLo each oLher's hearL lace
your rlghL hand over your parLner's hearL AL Lhe same Llme your parLner places hls
rlghL hand over your hearL lmaglne sendlng ouL your love energy Lhrough your hearL
down your arm and ouL your rlghL hand lnLo your parLner ?ou have several opLlons
for where you can puL your lefL hand Lo run Lhe energy beLween you
Cver your parLner's rlghL hand presslng lL over your hearL
Cn your parLner's mlddle back dlrecLly ln back of where hls or her hearL ls
Cn your genlLals or on each oLher's genlLals
LxperlmenL wlLh dlfferenL places Lo experlence hearL energy cycllng Lhrough your
body ln varlous ways Cn each occaslon go slowly breaLhe and feel Lhe energy acLually
passlng beLween and Lhrough you
LcsLasy LssenLlals
1eachers Mlchaels and !ohnson
recommend sLarLlng wlLh Lhe
classlcal pracLlce of 1raLak ln
whlch you flx your gaze on a
candle flame for several mlnuLes
usually [usL before bed 1hls helps
you develop Lhe concenLraLlon
necessary Lo exchange lnLense
gazes wlLh your parLner
99
1he arLner asslon od
8elng enclrcled by your lover's arms feels secure comforLlng and even exclLlng
1anLrlc pracLlce encourages connecLlng beLween parLners ln all Lypes of poslLlons and
slLuaLlons ln Lhls exerclse approach each oLher slowly whlle eye gazlng and leL your
bodles floaL lnLo each oLher and embrace ln any way LhaL seems comforLable As you
embrace do Lhe synchronlzlng breaLh whlle slowly lnhallng and exhallng As you
breaLhe feel your bodles melLlng lnLo one anoLher SLay ln Lhls poslLlon as long as
you llke When you separaLe move aparL slowly sLlll malnLalnlng eye conLacL slnce
abrupL separaLlons should never occur ln LanLrlc connecLlons Look aL each oLher and
noLlce how dlfferenL you look AfLer such a connecLlon you mlghL look as relaxed
and happy as you do afLer a massage
SLlmulaLlng Lhe Senses
All Lhe senses are honored ln LanLrlc lovemaklng 1haL means all Lhe organs lnvolved
wlLh Lhese senses are also cenLers of Lhe body Pere are some examples of exerclses
you can do wlLh your parLner Lo creaLe bllss beLween you LhaL acLlvaLes each of Lhe
senses
1he hearL hold sends love
energy Lhrough your
hearLs
100
MouLh and face 1race around your beloved's mouLh wlLh your flngerLlps and
pull Lhe llps aparL genLly 1he llps are relaLed Lo Lhe genlLals accordlng Lo
LasLern LradlLlon and llcklng and sucklng Lhem can sLlmulaLe Lhe sexual organs
ress your llps Lo your parLner's and make moLlons LxLend your Louch Lo Lhe
area around Lhe mouLh and Lo Lhe cheeks and face 8llndfold your parLner and
feed hlm or her varlous LasLy morsels wlLh dlfferenL LexLures (Lry sLrawberrles
chocolaLecovered cherrles a spoonful of lce cream a sllce of crunchy cucumber)
1anLallze your parLner as you do Lhls (LaLer Lhls feedlng wlll geL more playful
ln ChapLer 13 Make lL !ulcy wlLh Maglc and lay")
Sensuous Louch
Lyes 1he eyes Lruly are Lhe wlndow Lo Lhe soul AL Lhe beglnnlng of Lhls chapLer
l menLloned Lhe lmporLance of eye gazlng as fundamenLal Lo all LanLrlc connecLlng
Co a sLep furLher by Louchlng your parLner's eyes genLly around Lhe eye
sockeLs and across Lhe llds maklng clrcles aL Lhe corners and Lraclng ouL Lo Lhe
Lemples LeL your gaze roam from each oLher's eyes down Lo oLher parLs wlLh
wonder and appreclaLlon
nose 1he nose ls cherlshed ln LanLrlc pracLlce slnce along wlLh Lhe mouLh lL ls
Lhe enLrance for Lhe vlLal breaLh LhaL ls Lhe llfe force (called prana) 8esldes lLs
funcLlon (scenL) plays a vlLal role ln aLLracLlon! SLlmulaLe your parLner's sense of
smell by bllndfoldlng hlm or her and passlng varlous scenLs (scenLed olls oranges
wlne) under hls or her nose Snlff varlous parLs of each oLher's body ln a
naLural unlnhlblLed way as anlmals do as lf scouLlng each oLher ouL use your
nose as you would your flngers Lo sLlmulaLe each oLher and see whaL new sensaLlons
you can creaLe
101
Pands 1ouch has been proven Lo have
heallng effecLs and Lhe role of massage ls
paramounL ln LanLra As l've menLloned lL ls
an excellenL ldea Lo Lake a massage class read
a book or waLch a vldeo abouL LanLrlc massage
Lo hone your skllls
Pere's an exerclse l use ln my workshops Lo
Leach parLlclpanLs how Lo en[oy sensaLlons
Lhrough Louch 1aklng Lurns as glver and recelver
close your eyes and hold your parLner's
hand leel Lhe energy of Lhe hand
you're Louchlng and LhaL of your own hand
so you can ldenLlfy Lhe dlfferenL sensaLlons of
Louchlng and belng Louched 8reaLhe deeply
sendlng energy Lhrough your hand and explore
your parLner's hand leel Lhe dlfferenL
LexLures (bony parLs sofL palm sharp nalls)
Massage uslng dlfferenL sLrokes and pressures
wlLh Lhe lnLenLlon of maklng your
parLner feel good Clve each oLher feedback
abouL Lhe dlfferenL sensaLlons of Louchlng
and belng Louched
Lars 1oo ofLen neglecLed Lhls parL of Lhe
body can be very eroLlc ress your Lhumbs
lnLo Lhe openlngs of Lhe ears presslng
around Lhe lnner skln SLreLch and Lug aL Lhe
earlobes (Lhey can Lake pressure)and around
Lhe ouLer ear Whlsper sweeL noLhlngs lnLo
your parLner's ear Slng a song lL doesn'L maLLer
wheLher you can really slng [usL leL yourself
lmprovlse Lo express yourself lnLo your
parLner's ear
As l menLloned muslc ls so lmporLanL ln your LanLrlc pracLlce (l'll dlscuss Lhls
ln more deLall ln ChapLer 18 Sex Song and vldeoLape") so lmprovlse maklng
muslc LogeLher 1haL means you don'L have Lo play someone else's Cu lnsLead
use anyLhlng around Lhe house on whlch Lo keep a beaL or geL some slmple percusslon
lnsLrumenLs (drums raLLles bells chlmes) from a muslc sLore (As a muslclan
Lhls ls one pracLlce l parLlcularly en[oy!)
LcsLasy LssenLlals
Conslder aromaLherapy and Lhe
use of essenLlal olls ln your lndlvldual
and parLner pracLlces
8esearch has shown LhaL such
scenLs acLually have parLlcular effecLs
on Lhe braln faclllLaLlng
cerLaln mood sLaLes
Whlle you and your parLner are
boLh ln Lhe shower soap up
Lurn your backs Lo each oLher
and rub your back and backslde
agalnsL each oLher 8ump up
agalnsL each oLher's sacrum Lo
sLlr up energy
102
Call lL Sacred llndlng ?our 1anLrlc Love 1rlggers
Conslder your relaLlonshlp as sacred meanlng LhaL you hold lL ln Lhe hlghesL esLeem
reflecL on lL wlLh awe and LreaL lL wlLh Lhe uLmosL respecL 1o lnfuse your love wlLh
Lhls quallLy preface any descrlpLlons of your relaLlonshlp wlLh Lhe word sacred"
lnfuse Lhls sacredness wlLh words or symbols LhaL are speclal Lo Lhe Lwo of you and
evoke your LanLrlc unlon (l call Lhese LanLrlc Lrlggers) Cne of my personal LanLrlc Lrlggers
ls Lhe deplcLlon of Lhe dragon and Lhe phoenlx Lwo maglcal belngs and ausplclous
symbols ln Chlna ofLen palred LogeLher as sLaLues eLched on sldewalks or
prlnLed on weddlng lnvlLaLlons as shown ln Lhe followlng lllusLraLlon
1he ausplclous palrlng of
Lhe phoenlx and dragon
Sex ln Lhe llow Lane
1anLrlc sex requlres an awareness of every sensaLlonbuL so ofLen we're so busy
dolng" LhaL we don'L really feel how we're movlng ersonal coach Creg Lhmka developed
a Lechnlque he calls Sexyhan (l call lL sex ln Lhe flow lane") ln whlch you
don'L move any body parL unLll your body feels Lhe moLlon from wlLhln Lhmka descrlbes
Lhls Lechnlque ln hls book Money Sex ower and ?ou 1ransformlng ?our Lgo
and many LanLra Leachers lncludlng myself use a varlaLlon of Lhe process ln Lhelr
workshops lL ls qulLe wonderful Lo run a workshop where everyone sLarLs movlng ln
slow moLlon and geLs Lhe experlence of Lhls sensaLlon of allowlng experlence Lo happen
lnsLead of forclng lL!
Lhmka who llves ln a LanLrlc communlLy ln AusLrla recommends dolng Lhls exerclse
on your own for 20 mlnuLes and Lhen wlLh a parLner SLarL by slLLlng or sLandlng LogeLher
wlLh your eyes closed maklng low sounds and belng sLlll unLll you geL moLlvaLed
Lo move (called lnner guldance) As lmpulses come you can Louch each oLher
genLly curl up LogeLher or over Llme geL more vlgorous even Lo Lhe polnL of screamlng
as long as lL's noL a preconcelved or auLomaLlc moLlon AfLer Lhls pracLlce
measure on a scale of 0 Lo 10 how [oyfully empowered you feel" says Lmhka l guaranLee
Lhe more you do lL Lhe hlgher wlll be your raLlng"
103
Advanced 8ody LxploraLlon
1here are endless secreLs hldden ln your body Lemple Lo be uncovered Lhough your
LanLrlc pracLlces elLher alone or wlLh your parLner uon'L be afrald Lo show yourself
Lven lf you have been maklng love for years LogeLher or dolng LanLrlc pracLlces your
parLner's genlLals mlghL sLlll be a mysLery Pere are some exerclses LhaL go a sLep furLher
Lhan Lhe body exploraLlons and physlcal sharlng LhaL l have menLloned ln prevlous
chapLers
Per ?onl Show" for Plm
1hls exerclse ls an ulLlmaLe acL of LrusL and lnLlmacy lL's also very exclLlng
physlcally and energeLlcallyLo allow your parLner Lo Lruly see you lnslde MosL
women are embarrassed abouL how Lhey look ln Lhelr mosL sacred space Lhelr vaglnas
ln Lhls exerclse Lhe woman ls glven Lremendous encouragemenL Lo dlsplay her mosL
prlvaLe sacred Lemple for her beloved lL musL be preceded by many of Lhe rlLuals descrlbed
ln ChapLer 7 SeLLlng Lhe SLage for ?our 1anLrlc nlghLs of leasure" so LhaL
she ls exLremely relaxed and feels adored by hls baLhlng and massaglng her She Lhen
elLher dlsrobes or he lovlngly dlsrobes her As l've emphaslzed he musL ask permlsslon
Lo see her AL her own pace she reveals her mosL prlvaLe parLs uslng her flngers
Lo dlrecL hls aLLenLlon and open her llps more
Some couples worry LhaL Lhls exerclse wlll be Loo
cllnlcalllke a medlcal examlnaLlonbuL acLually
lf you have prepared LogeLher uslng LanLrlc
breaLhlng lL ls lnevlLable LhaL Lhe mood and
splrlL wlll be one of lovlng raLher Lhan ob[ecLlvlLy
lf you feel ob[ecLlve do noL crlLlclze yourself
8eallze LhaL Lhls ls a way of conLrolllng any fears
or selfconsclousness 8reaLhe deeper and leL Lhese
feellngs LransmuLe lnLo more calm connecLed
ones
1hls exerclse could evolve Lo anoLher acLlvlLy for
example a demonsLraLlon of how she llkes Lo be
pleasured or more freeflowlng play leadlng Lo a
LanLrlc sexual lnLeracLlon Powever Lhere should
never be a goal as Lhe purpose of Lhe exerclse ls
for her Lo be relaxed
Pls Love Arrow Show" for Per
ln LanLrlc sex lovers always Lake Lurns aL dlfferenL acLlvlLles usually wlLh Lhe woman
golng flrsL AfLer her show of her sacred gaLes Lo heaven Lo hlm lL's hls Lurn Lo show
her hls llngam (Lhe [ade sLalk" LhaL can enLer her gaLes of heaven) As wlLh oLher
1anLra 1ales
When MaLL and !ulle dld Lhls exerclse
she was exclLed for hlm Lo
Lruly see her buL exLremely
frlghLened and embarrassed WlLh
hls reassurance she could conLlnue
slowly openlng her Lhlghs
l needed Lo hear hlm say LhaL
he really wanLed Lo see" she
sald Cnce he dld she was more
reassured
104
exerclses remember noL Lo have any expecLaLlons or make any demands buL Lo slmply
en[oy Lhe experlence wlLh a splrlL of curloslLy and adoraLlon As menLloned for
her yonl show hls love arrow show ls besL preceded by many of Lhe rlLuals descrlbed
ln ChapLer 7
Maklng Sacred WaLer Maglc
WaLer serves many purposes ln LanLrlc sex pracLlceslL's cleanslng heallng playful
and a Lurnon l've already menLloned ln oLher chapLers many ways you can pleasure
each oLher ln Lhe baLh or shower lor example you can do many of Lhe breaLhlng exerclses
eye lock and hearL hold SlL ln Lhe baLhLub ln yab yum poslLlon wlLh genlLals
close LogeLher 8reaLhe slowly and rock your pelvls Loward each oLher on your exhale
uo Lhls for a few mlnuLes
1here are also some lnLeresLlng Lechnlques some LanLrlc experLs use Lo awaken powerful
energles ln waLer lor example Callfornla LanLra Leachers SLeve and LoklLa CarLer
are experLs ln a bodywork Lechnlque called WaLsu WaLer ShlaLsu ln whlch Lhe recelver
ls cradled sLreLched and slowly moved ln warm waLer lnLerspersed wlLh lnLervals of
sLlllness 1he resulLlng experlence can be a wonderful comblnaLlon of feellng loved
and peaceful 8uL powerful emoLlonal releases can also happen (l know from experlence!)
Whlle worklng wlLh an experL ls cerLalnly helpful Lo work Lhrough any sLrong emoLlons
LhaL arlse couples can do a more elemenLary varlaLlon of Lhls Lechnlque LogeLher
nexL Llme you have Lhe chance Lo be ln a pool of warm sLlll waLer (a movlng
sea or cold ocean won'L work slnce you have Lo be relaxed) you can Lry Lhls exerclse
LhaL Lhe CarLers recommend (As ln every exerclse LhroughouL Lhls book always greeL
each oLher flrsL wlLh lovlng words and compllmenLs) 1ake Lurns ln waLer abouL walsL
deep lor example Lhe man sLands ln Lhe waLer and helps Lhe woman lean backward
ln Lhe waLer Pe genLly sways her from slde Lo slde holdlng her by Lhe rlbcage or
hlps keeplng her nose ouL of Lhe waLer and presslng her sex cenLer (yonl) Lo hls genlLals
or belly (lL's a nlce addlLlon Lo puL a waLer plllow under her head leavlng hls
hands free Lo genLly sLroke her chesL belly and sex cenLer) Change places When
you're done Lhank each oLher for Lhls speclal Llme
SLaylng ln 8llss 1he AfLerplay
WhaL lf nelLher of you wanLs Lo fall lnLo LhaL posLsex syndrome ln whlch he falls
asleep and she lles Lhere unfulfllled? 1anLra Leacher 8oberL lrey has a favorlLe LanLrlc
soluLlon for Lhls dllemma whlch he calls Lhe afLerplay Lo keep you ln bllss
AfLer e[aculaLlng says lrey keep Lhe llngam ln Lhe yonl and slL up ln Lhe yab yum poslLlon
1ake a deep breaLh ln and plcLure drawlng LhaL powerful energy of Lhe e[aculaLlon
up Lhe splne llke heaL rlslng 1hen plcLure a golden llghL or mlsL comlng down
Lhe splne as you exhale
103
lrey suggesLs dolng Lhls for up Lo a half an hourand promlses LhaL lf you do you
could bulld lnLo a profound fullbody orgasmlc sLaLe for boLh of you 8oLh Lhe man
and Lhe woman may have several addlLlonal orgasms slmply from belng compleLely
Lurned on by Lhe power of Lhe clrculaLlng energy" he explalns ln Lhls way afLerplay
means Lhere really lsn'L any afLer" because bllss [usL keeps on comlng
8llss ls an ecsLaLlc feellng of connecLlon wlLh a lovlng energy LhaL expands lnwardly
and ouLwardly
Slmple exerclses can creaLe lnLense pleasure and deep connecLlon for example
looklng deeply lnLo each oLher's eyes sendlng energy Lhrough each
oLher's hearLs
SLlmulaLe all your senses for a Lruly allconsumlng experlence explore LasLes
smells slghLs sounds and Louches
Lach of us has parLlcular LhoughLs sounds or symbols LhaL can Lrlgger sensuous
feellngs know whaL Lhese love Lrlggers" are for yourself and for your parLner
1he mosL bllssful sexual experlences can happen when you do noL force any
acLlons buL raLher when you are sLlll and allow Lhe urges Lo move Lo come
from wlLhln (whaL l call sex ln Lhe flow lane")
lnsLead of abrupLly endlng your lovemaklng sLay ln bllss by Laklng dellberaLe
acLlons Lo sLay connecLed

ChapLer 9
8reaklng
1hrough 8locks
Lo 8llss
ln 1hls ChapLer
Pow lssues from Lhe pasL can lnLerfere wlLh your pracLlce of LanLrlc sex
and wlLh your llfe ln general
1he lmporLance of maklng Llme LogeLher
8eleaslng lnLense emoLlons
CeLLlng pasL desperaLlon obsesslon and anxleLles
8alanclng your male and female energles
LlfesLyle pracLlces LhaL keep you healLhy
Cn any new paLh of selfdlscovery selflmprovemenL or splrlLuallLy you can make exclLlng
dlscoverles abouL yourself and Lhe world around you Powever as you make
changes ln yourself your relaLlonshlps and your llfesLyle blocks can arlse from reslsLance
confllcLs or anxleLles 1hese blocks can come from unresolved problems ln your
pasL parLnershlps or even your upbrlnglng ?ou need Lo be free of Lhese blocks so you
can experlence ecsLasy noL only ln love buL ln all areas of your llfe
1here are many LherapeuLlc Lechnlques LhaL offer help l use a wlde varleLy and comblnaLlon
of Lhese ln my workshops and wlLh prlvaLe paLlenLs as well as ln my work glvlng
advlce on radlo 1v and Lhe lnLerneL ln Lhls chapLer l'll address some Lools and
Lechnlques LhaL wlll be especlally helpful ln solvlng confllcLs and clearlng emoLlonal
blocks so LhaL you'll be free Lo explore Lhe LanLrlc sex paLh
108
When 8lg LmoLlons 8ursL lorLh
SexuallLy ls a powerful force and Lhese LanLrlc sex pracLlces generaLe lnLense sexual
arousal! As a resulL lL makes sense LhaL you could confronL some sLrong prevlously
suppressed lssues lL can be scary when upseLLlng feellngs emerge unexpecLedly buL
lL's lmporLanL Lo allow Lhem Lo come up and resolve Lhem lnsLead of represslng problems
or Lraumas welcome Lhe opporLunlLy Lo work Lhrough Lhem 1rusL LhaL Lhelr appearance
means LhaL you are ready Lo deal wlLh Lhem 1o ease your fear seek Lhe help
of a Lralned person ldeally a LanLrlc masLer also schooled ln psychoLherapeuLlc and
cllnlcal Lechnlques
1o release blocks caused by unresolved lssues ln your pasL some LanLra Leachers lnclude
whaL's called emoLlonal release ln Lhelr workshops ueepseeded emoLlons sLored
ln Lhe body can be freed Lhrough parLlcular paLLerns of breaLhlng and movemenL A
parLner can also acL as a wlLness and gulde lL's amazlng Lo be ln a workshop such as
Lhe ones held by Lhose of us Lralned ln Lhe Lechnlques of 1anLrlka lnLernaLlonal (see
Appendlx 8 Workshops Web SlLes 1eachers and 1anLra CommunlLles") ln whlch a
roomful of people are lylng on Lhe floor dolng pelvlc rocklng breaLhlng and maklng
sounds when suddenly a large number of people connecL wlLh lnLense pasL experlences
Some people mlghL be [oyful and laughlng whlle oLhers express exploslve or
angry ouLbursLs when Lhey remember a pasL experlence LhaL made Lhem feel LhaL way
noL all emoLlonal releases are loud or connecL wlLh paln l've had many LhaL are calm
and bllssful Cne of my emoLlonal releases was so powerful LhaL l began Lo see colors
radlaLlng from my body leadlng Lo a feellng of [ubllance Some lead Lo asLoundlng
physlcally obvlous LransformaLlons When faclllLaLlng one woman ln an emoLlonal release
l wlLnessed her Lransform from looklng sad and haggard Lo looklng [oyful and
20 years younger!
1ransformaLlon as a
resulL of an emoLlonal
release process
109
ChapLer 9 8reaklng 1hrough 8locks Lo 8llss
Maklng 1lme for Lach CLher
l ofLen hear couples complaln LhaL Lhey have no
Llme for sex Lverybody ls Loo busy and oLher prlorlLles
can push quallLy LanLrlc Llme LogeLher Lo
Lhe back burner so lL's lmporLanL Lo flnd pracLlces
you can reallsLlcally do LogeLher Lo keep Lhe energy
flowlng beLween you Pere are some slmple pracLlces
you can do LhaL don'L requlre much Llme
buL LhaL creaLe an lnLlmaLe connecLlon ln your
relaLlonshlp
Couple's Mornlng 8lesslng
1anLra Leacher 8oberL lrey suggesLs dolng Lhls
dally mornlng pracLlce wlLh your parLner before
geLLlng dressed for your day 8egln by slLLlng on
your knees faclng each oLher 8ow Lo each oLher
wlLh hands ln prayer pose 1ake 10 deep belly
breaLhs ln unlson Lhe flrsL flve wlLh eyes closed
and Lhe second flve maklng eye conLacL wlLh your
parLner 1ake Lurns saylng Lhe followlng blesslng Lo
each oLher wlLh a breaLh beLween senLences and Lhree breaLhs wlLh eye conLacL beLween
Lurns (wrlLlng Lhese words on a 3 3 lndex card can be helpful) leel free Lo
lmprovlse and make up your own words for Lhls blesslng
l recognlze you as an lmporLanL ally for me and l am graLeful LhaL you are ln
my llfe l feel blessed Lo be cocreaLlng wlLh you My llfe ls enrlched by knowlng
you l wanL you Lo feel fulfllled vlcLorlous happy and aL peace Loday l wlsh
for you love wlsdom creaLlvlLy and a flowlng meanlngful experlence Loday
l love you
AfLer you have boLh sald Lhe blesslng Lake Lhree more breaLhs whlle malnLalnlng eye
conLacL and end wlLh a bow hug and klss lurLher conversaLlon ls opLlonal usually
Lhe besL cholce ls slmply Lo geL up and move on wlLh oLher acLlvlLles wlLh your
beloved ln your hearL
1he 1enMlnuLe ConnecL
ln hls workshops and book on consclous lovlng Charles Mulr poses a soluLlon Lo
couples who don'L connecL due Lo lack of Llme or lnLeresLa slmple exerclse called
Lhe 10mlnuLe connecL" l have ofLen heard Charles emphaslze how couples should
do Lhls connecL even lf Lhey don'L feel llke lL because lL keeps Lhe love flowlng Pe's
rlghL!
8locks Lo 8llss
CrlLlcs of emoLlonal release such
as LanLra Leachers Mark Mlchaels
and aLrlcla !ohnson malnLaln
LhaL emoLlonal release exerclses
focus on poLenLlal paln whlch
Lhey say can become a selffulfllllng
prophecy 1hey asserL
LhaL LanLrlc pracLlces Lhemselves
are heallng and deeper work ls
besL lefL Lo professlonal
LheraplsLs
110
Pere's how Lo do Lhe 10mlnuLe connecL along wlLh Lwo oLher slmple exerclses you
can do Lo connecL wlLh your parLner
1he 10mlnuLe connecL 1he couple Lakes 10 mlnuLes aL some polnL ln Lhe
day preferably aL Lhe beglnnlng or end Lo lle quleLly LogeLher [usL feellng each
oLher's energy 1hls can be ln a spoons poslLlon wlLh synchronlzed breaLhlng
1he 10mlnuLe sharlng 1ake 10 mlnuLes Lo Lalk abouL whaL happened ln your
day how you feel anyLhlng LhaL ls on your mlnd
1he 10mlnuLe acknowledgmenL 1ake 10 mlnuLes Lo Lell each oLher whaL
you mosL appreclaLe abouL each oLher 8ecognlLlon makes us feel allve and
loved
1he sharlng and acknowledglng connecLs can be done ln addlLlon Lo Lhe sllenL 10
mlnuLe connecL or aL anoLher Llme ln Lhe day whenever you can boLh glve each
oLher your compleLe aLLenLlon
ulffuslng ?our Anger
lL's lnevlLable LhaL aL Llmes you and a parLner wlll geL angry aL each oLher buL lnsLead
of sLorlng LhaL anger or confronLlng lL head on LanLra offers anoLher opLlon 1he
llon's play ls an exerclse LhaL Callfornla LanLra Leam SLeve and LoklLa CarLer flnd
hlghly effecLlve for couples who have Lenslon beLween Lhem uL your hands LogeLher
and roar loudly llke a llon and push on each oLher's hands wlLh equal sLrengLh lL
mlghL sound sllly buL Lry lL! AfLer a few mlnuLes even Lhe mosL skepLlcal of you wlll
probably sLarL laughlng keep lL up unLll you and your parLner are boLh laughlng and
waLch your anger dlssolve
A lovlng 10mlnuLe
connecL
111
Cvercomlng leellngs of SeparaLlon
1anLra ls abouL connecLlng Lherefore when you are ln paln or feel a block lmpedlng
Lhe progress of your pracLlces you are probably experlenclng some degree of separaLlon
?ou could be feellng separaLed from your own self from your beloved from
your work from your famlly or from Lhe world ln general lndeed you mlghL know
LhaL Lerrlble feellng of belng lsolaLed or noL belonglng 1anLrlc pracLlces heal Lhls separaLlon
by openlng your hearL
1hlnk of Lhe ways you creaLe a feellng of belng
separaLe from oLhers [udglng yourself [udglng
oLhers or havlng unreallsLlc expecLaLlons ln my
classes and workshops l lead people Lhrough
experlences of separaLeness and connecLedness by
faclng each oLher and saylng l feel separaLe
from you when l " Lhen saylng l feel connecLed
Lo you when l " 1hls geLs you ln Louch wlLh
how you creaLe Lhose feellngs and empowers you
Lo choose whlch slLuaLlon Lo creaLe
8alanclng ?our Male and
lemale Lnergles
ln ChapLer 2 1he 8aslcs ?es ?ln ?ang ?onl
and ?ab ?um" l explalned LhaL unlLlng male and
female energles ls key Lo LanLrlc pracLlce SomeLlmes blocks come from Lhe lnablllLy Lo
balance Lhese energles whlch Lhrows you off balance and causes Lenslon or lncompaLlblllLy
beLween you and your parLner
1he Sexual 8elaLlons 8evlew
As a LheraplsL for over Lwo decades l cerLalnly know how pasL relaLlonshlps affecL
presenL ones alnful palrlngs keep us panlcked abouL Lhelr repeLlLlon ln my prevlous
1he llon's play exerclse
can help dlffuse anger
Any Llme you proLesL LhaL you
don'L have Lhe love you wanL ln
a relaLlonshlp conslder how you
mlghL be creaLlng Lhe blocks
yourself erhaps you are noL
ready Lo recelve Lhe love you say
you wanL
112
books 1he CompleLe ldloL's Culde Lo uaLlng and 1he CompleLe ldloL's Culde Lo a PealLhy
8elaLlonshlp (see Appendlx C 1anLrlc 1ools") l presenLed many exerclses Lo geL free
from Lhe ghosLs of Lhe pasL" uo Lhose exerclses Lo see how paLLerns ln your pasL relaLlonshlps
affecL your presenL ones
1he followlng exerclse ls based on Lhe LanLrlc prlnclple LhaL lmbalances ln male and
female energles ln relaLlonshlps can cause lncompaLlblllLles LhaL you mlghL noL even
be aware of lor Lhls exerclse conslder male" and female" Lo be whaLever comes Lo
your mlnd LhaL deflnes Lhose quallLles use Lhe followlng Lable Lo revlew pasL lmporLanL
relaLlonshlps and see whlch parLner has demonsLraLed more male or female energy
or wheLher Lhese have been balanced 8aLe Lhe degree of male or female energy
on Lhe scale by puLLlng a mark on Lhe llne closesL Lo Lhe descrlpLlon lnclude whaL
your parenLs' relaLlonshlp was llke and several relaLlonshlps LhaL have been lmporLanL
Lo you even lf Lhey have noL been overLly sexual noLe ln Lhe space provlded
whaL happened ln Lhe relaLlonshlp (we broke up l was dlssaLlsfled he lefL me l lefL
hlm we foughL and so forLh)
noLlce wheLher you are repeaLlng your parenLs' paLLern (for example lf you are a
woman and raLed your moLher and yourself as exLremely female" and your faLher
and your parLner as exLremely male") Also noLlce from Lhe charL wheLher you conslsLenLly
plck parLners wlLh slmllar energy and wheLher Lhey are slmllar or opposlLe
Lo Lhe energy you brlng Lo Lhe relaLlonshlp knowlng your paLLern ln lmporLanL relaLlonshlps
glves you more freedom Lo choose Lo change lL elLher by changlng yourself
or by chooslng anoLher Lype of parLner nexL Llme noLlce your emoLlonal reacLlon Lo
Lhe relaLlonshlps Were you happy abouL or annoyed by Lhe female or male characLerlsLlcs
of a person?
1anLra 1ales
!ulleLLe found uamlan sweeL and aLLenLlve durlng Lhelr flrsL daLes 8uL afLer a whlle hls
hlgh volce and LenLaLlve manner annoyed her When he looked aL her llke a hurL puppy
or begged her Lo come Lo bed she would snap aL hlm She found herself longlng for her
exboyfrlend who had a much deeper volce and was more sLrongwllled She couldn'L puL
her flnger on Lhe problem unLll she reallzed from dolng Lhe arLner Sexual 8evlew LhaL
uamlan was belng Loo female" (or yln) for her LasLe whlle she raLed Lwo exboyfrlends
hlgher on Lhe male" scale ln her Lherapy sesslons wlLh me !ulleLLe reallzed she had Lo
become more balanced ln her own male and female energles Lo aLLracL a man who was
slmllarly balanced
1he Sex 8elaLlons 8evlew CeLLlng Lhe ?ln and ?ang of lL
erson uegree of Male or lemale Lnergy
A greaL 8alanced Some Some A greaL
deal of male and male female deal of
female female energy energy male
energy energy energy
My moLher
My faLher
Any oLher slgnlflcanL
parenLal flgure
(flll ln)
My parLner 1
(flll ln)
Me wlLh parLner 1
WhaL happened ln Lhe
relaLlonshlp? (descrlbe)
My parLner 2
(flll ln)
Me wlLh parLner 2
relaLlonshlp? (descrlbe)
My parLner 3
(flll ln)
Me wlLh parLner 3
relaLlonshlp? (descrlbe) ___________________________________________________
Seven Ways Lo 8alance Sexual Lnergy
Cnce you become aware of your male and female energy from dolng Lhe Sexual
8elaLlons 8evlew how do you balance Lhem (as ln !ulleLLe's case)? All Lhe LanLrlc pracLlces
menLloned ln Lhls book help you Lo do LhaL 8e paLlenL Lhls achlevemenL Lakes
Llme Meanwhlle here are several slmple ways Lo balance Lhose energles
nosLrll breaLhlng ?ou can conLrol Lhe balance of your male or female energy
by chooslng whlch nosLrll Lo block or open 1o sLlmulaLe more male (yang)
113
114
energy (acLlve analyLlcal asserLlve) block your lefL nosLrll and breaLhe only
Lhrough your rlghL nosLrll 1o sLlmulaLe more femlnlne (yln) energy (recepLlve
passlve nurLurlng) block your rlghL nosLrll and breaLhe Lhrough your lefL nosLrll
?ou can also Lurn your head Lo Lhe lefL Lo be more ln your male energy Lhls
asslsLs ln breaLhlng Lhrough your rlghL nosLrll 1urn Lo Lhe rlghL Lo acLlvaLe more
female energy
AlLernaLe nosLrll breaLhlng 1hls ls a common exerclse ln yoga classes SlL quleLly
uL your rlghL lndex flnger on your Lhlrd eye and resL your Lhumb and mlddle
flnger on your nosLrlls Lxhale forcefully and Lhen close one nosLrll wlLh
your flnger and lnhale Lhrough Lhe oLher nosLrll Lo Lhe counL of seven 1hen
close LhaL nosLrll whlle releaslng Lhe oLher nosLrll and breaLhe Lhrough Lhe open
nosLrll Lo Lhe counL of seven WlLhouL pauslng conLlnue alLernaLely closlng and
openlng Lhe nosLrlls as you breaLhe ln more advanced pracLlce you would conLracL
Lhe C muscles (see ChapLer 3 rep ?our 8ody 1emple of Love") Lo creaLe
more force ln Lhe breaLh
use dlfferenL sounds ChanL om" Lo sLlmulaLe more male energy and aum"
for more female energy 1hen chanL Lhe Lwo sounds alLernaLely for several mlnuLes
unLll you feel Lhe sounds are merglng
locus on symbols of male or female 1he SLar of uavld commonly ldenLlfled
as a symbol of Lhe !ewlsh rellglon ls acLually a medlaLlon deslgn wlLh Lhe Lwo
lnLersecLlng Lrlangles symbollzlng Lhe male and female mlnd and body 1he
polnLs on Lhe SLar of uavld also symbollze Lhe sex organs wlLh Lhe penls and
vaglna aL Lhe upper and lower Llps Lhe breasLs aL elLher end of Lhe Lop llne and
Lhe LesLlcles aL elLher end of Lhe lower llne
1he SLar of uavld
113
Walk a mlle ln hls or her shoes ln my workshops l ofLen lnvlLe Lhe class Lo
purposefully walk around Lhe room as lf Lhey were a sLereoLyplc male and Lhen
walk purposefully llke a sLereoLyplc female (1hls ofLen leads Lo mosL amused reacLlons
and amuslng demonsLraLlons!)
locus on colors 8ecause male energy ls cool loglcal blue and female energy ls
emoLlonal passlonaLe red surround yourself wlLh elLher color MenLally focus
on red or blue look aL an lLem colored red or blue or purposefully puL on red or
blue cloLhlng
Move your body 1o draw ln more male energy sweep your hands ouL from
your sldes over your head lnLo Lhe sky looklng up lmaglne calllng ln Lhe energy
from Lhe sky lor more female energy bend down sllghLly and scoop Lhe
energy up from moLher earLh and lnLo your hearL ln a varlaLlon of Lhls use [usL
Lhe rlghL arm Lo sweep Lhe sky and Lhe lefL hand Lo sweep Lhe earLh whlle keeplng
Lhe oLher hand on whaLever energy cenLer you wanL Lo empower
lrusLraLlon Cver Who's on 1op
Many relaLlonshlps are abouL conLrol and baLLles of conLrol ln LanLrlc Lerms Lhe cenLer
for conLrol ls ln Lhe Lhlrd chakra (Lhe area below Lhe belly) 1o resolve conLrol baLLles
ln your relaLlonshlp do exerclses relaLed Lo Lhls cenLer lck exerclses ln Lhls book
and hold your hand on your power cenLer as you do Lhe exerclse lor example you
could do eye gazlng wlLh your parLner and puL your lefL hand on your power cenLer
Lo recelve more power 8reaLhe 1hen brlng your rlghL hand up and ouL Lo your parLner
as a symbollc gesLure LhaL you are expresslng your power and rlghL Lo be heard
CeLLlng asL uesperaLlon and ALLachmenL
arL of any splrlLual paLh ls Lo reach a sLaLe ln whlch you are noL aLLached Lo anyone
or anyLhlng ?ou mlghL know Lhls feellng of desperaLlon or cllnglng Lo a parLner lor
!anlne lL pushed all pasL lovers away from her She admlLLed Lo me 1hey all sald l
was Loo needy" Cne way Lo ease Lhls feellng of desperaLlon ls Lo undersLand lL
8evlew ln your mlnd abouL your pasL wlLh your parenLs Lo see wheLher Lhey abandoned
you (ln whlch case you are sLlll panlcked over belng lefL) or suffocaLed you (so
you felL used) 1hese dynamlcs can make you reslsL lnLlmacy ouL of fear of repeaLlng
abandonmenL or suffocaLlon
8esldes undersLandlng Lhe followlng Lwo LanLrlc pracLlces mlghL help
8reaLhe deeply When you feel needy before you do or say someLhlng LhaL
grasps aL someone Lake a deep breaLh leLLlng Lhe sound come ouL loudly as you
exhale LeL Lhe energy go Lhrough your body and ouL of you
116
Cround yourself leel yourself rooLed Lo Lhe floor SLand wlLh feeL comforLably
aparL and bend your knees sllghLly 8ounce up and down (be careful noL Lo puL
pressure on your knees!) Laklng deep breaLhs LhaL go lnLo your flrsL chakra Lhe
cenLer LhaL symbollzes securlLy leel rooLed Lo Lhe ground llke a Lree uolng Lhls
helps ground you so you feel more secure safe and more your own person
When you are breaLhlng deeply and feellng grounded you won'L grasp aL a parLner
urglng anlc and Cbsesslons
lears and anxleLles LhaL can lead Lo panlc aLLacks and
repeLlLlve dlsLracLlng LhoughLs LhaL become obsesslons
are noL only dlsLresslng buL Lake you ouL of Lhe
momenLyeL as l've dlscussed LhroughouL Lhls book
all LanLrlc pracLlces requlre you Lo be presenL ln Lhe
momenL 1o overcome Lhls you need Lo creaLe belng
presenL 1o achleve Lhls use Lhe Lwo Lechnlques ln
Lhe prevlous secLlon Lo geL pasL desperaLlon and
aLLachmenL CLher breaLhlng Lechnlques are helpful
llke exhallng for a longer Llme Lhan lnhallng
locus on whaL ls presenL ln Lhe momenL Ask yourself
WhaL ls presenL now?" And now?" And now?"
When you caLch yourself freLLlng abouL Lhe pasL or
worrylng abouL Lhe fuLure keep asklng WhaL ls presenL
now?"
1ry Lhls favorlLe breaLhlng varlaLlon
of mlne uL your Lhumbs ln
your ears and your flngers on Lhe
Lop of your head LlsLen Lo Lhe
sound of your breaLhlng (1hls ls
one of Lhe wonders l dlscovered
whlle scuba dlvlng lL accompllshes
a wombllke relaxaLlon)
1anLra 1uLorlal
8eblrLhlng ls an advanced (and conLroverslal) Lechnlque LhaL can help people cleanse
Lhe paln durlng Lhelr blrLh by rellvlng Lhe experlence eople play cerLaln roles (for example
Lhe moLher) Lo faclllLaLe Lhe process and Lo offer supporL and sLrucLure ln some exerclses
Lhe love parLner ls presenL 8ecause Lhe process lnvolves regresslon and blrLhlng
some pracLlLloners submerge Lhe recelver underwaLer 8eblrLhlng should be done only
under Lhe supervlslon of people Lralned ln Lhls process because lL can brlng powerful
emoLlons Lo Lhe surface LhaL musL be processed and worked Lhrough
117
More Ways Lo Clear 8locks
ln addlLlon Lo you mlnd blocks can be cleared Lhrough worklng on your physlcal
body! Cne way ls Lo clear blocks physlcally ls Lhrough exerclse and Lhe pracLlces descrlbed
ln ChapLers 3 and 13 ?ou mlghL already
know Lhe experlence of belng able Lo clear your
mlnd and work ouL your problems wlLh physlcal
exerclse
8locks can also be cleared Lhrough worklng on
your nuLrlLlon WhaL are your eaLlng hablLs? 1here
ls convlnclng evldence LhaL food affecLs our
moods Could you be eaLlng foods LhaL are creaLlng
Lrouble (Loo much sugar noL enough proLeln)?
Also evaluaLe wheLher you have any food allergles
lnvesLlgaLe eaLlng plans LhaL could be more
healLhy for you Ask frlends read abouL nuLrlLlon
or consulL LanLra Leachers and oLher LanLra sLudenLs
you meeL abouL whaL Lhey do
l have menLloned LhaL some LanLrlc pracLlLloners
do a cleanse as parL of Lhelr healLh rouLlne ln
whlch Lhey drlnk only [ulce for a perlod of Llme or
follow oLher eaLlng plans Lo clear Lhelr dlgesLlve
sysLem 8emovlng Loxlns from your sysLem ln Lhls
or oLher ways can also help unblock emoLlons
8locks Lo 8llss
uncoverlng emoLlons should
always be Laken serlously
AlLhough any lovlng person can
asslsL and wlLness lL ls lmporLanL
Lo be cauLlous ConsulL a quallfled
LheraplsL lf you feel you
have any dlsLress LhaL perslsLs a
few weeks or Lo answer your
quesLlons
8locks Lo reachlng sLaLes of bllss can come from feellng separaLed from oLhers
sLorlng up anger and obsesslve LhoughLsall of whlch can be ellmlnaLed
Lhrough processes llke emoLlonal clearlng and LanLrlc breaLhlng Lechnlques
MlsundersLandlngs and Lenslon beLween you and a parLner can be eased by resolvlng
Lo spend even shorL amounLs of Llme LogeLher Lo exchange acknowledgemenLs
and blesslngs
Slmple breaLhlng and medlLaLlve Lechnlques can help you balance male and
female energy ln yourself and ln your relaLlonshlp LhaL cause lncompaLlblllLles
AlLhough many blocks Lo bllss can be ellmlnaLed lL ls lmporLanL Lo seek professlonal
help when problems are perslsLenL or deep seeded

arL 3
Maklng Ma[or rogress on
Lhe aLh Lo LcsLasy
now LhaL you know all Lhe baslc sLeps Loward bllss and have cleared away roadblocks
on your [ourney Lo [oy you're ready for Lhe besL nlghLs ever"Lruly!
CeL seL for greaL experlences ln Lhls parL as you learn sLep by sLep exacLly whaL Lo do
Lo LreaL your parLner Lo unforgeLable nlghLs of pleasure 8esL of all you'll learn how
you can make lL lasL as long as you wanL uslng effecLlve pracLlces LhaL lead you Lo
exLended lovemaklng and more orgasms and beLLer Lhan LhaLmuch more love 1hls
requlres a shlfL ln your ldeas abouL sex and orgasm Lhough so geL ready for some new
ways Lo look aL lovemaklng And geL flL ln Lhe process as l show you some wonderful
workouL rouLlnes LhaL wlll make your [ourney wlLh your parLner more fun and keep
you physlcally and splrlLually ln Lune

ChapLer 10
Clvlng Per Lhe
8esL nlghLs Lver
ln 1hls ChapLer
reparlng Lo please your goddess
WhaL Lo do on Lhe flrsL of her nlghLs of pleasure
WhaL Lo do on Lhe second and Lhlrd pleasure nlghLs and beyond
WhaL Lo say and whlch speclflc pleasure Lechnlques Lo use
1he posslblllLy of love llquld flow
Clvlng her whaL she really wanLs and needs
lL's Llme for Lhe culmlnaLlon of all Lhe work you have done ln Lhe prevlous parL of Lhls
book hls and her nlghLs of pleasure when Lhe parLner promlses Lo be LoLally presenL
Lo please Lhe beloved lL's dellclous and ever so much funand yes a llLLle scary buL
l'll gulde you Lhrough Lhe sLeps so LhaL you're bound Lo have an amazlng Llme and
look forward Lo Lhe nexL
1he goddess geLs her Lurn flrsL conslsLenL wlLh anclenL worshlp of Lhe goddess and
Lhe 1aolsL LradlLlon of Lhe male consorL" as servanL Lo hls goddess conslderlng her
saLlsfacLlon ahead of hls own ln Lhls chapLer l speak dlrecLly Lo Lhe man as glver buL
of course Lhe woman wlll wanL Lo read closely Lo see whaL's ln sLore for her as recelver
ln Lhe nexL chapLer she'll be Lhe one orchesLraLlng hls nlghL of pleasure lor now
men lL's your Lurn Lo please your goddess
arL 3 Maklng Ma[or rogress on Lhe aLh Lo LcsLasy
122
1he value of 1aklng 1urns aL leasure
1aklng Lurns aL pleaslng and belng pleased mlghL sound programmed buL Lhe Lechnlque
has proven successful ln many sex Lheraples l've recommended lL for years as
lL ls hlghly effecLlve parLlcularly because so many women worry When ls my Lurn
up?" and Pave l Laken Loo much Llme?" and because many men freL Pave l performed
well?" and Pave l really pleased her?" 1aklng Lurns ls cruclal ln some LanLrlc
lovemaklng pracLlces Lo allow full focus on elLher glvlng or recelvlng wlLhouL worrylng
abouL Laklng Loo much Llme belng selflsh or your parLner geLLlng Llred
ulLlmaLely when Lhe energy of lovemaklng ls Lruly flowlng Lhe parLners are so lnLerLwlned
LhaL lL's hard Lo dlsLlngulsh who ls glvlng and who ls recelvlng 8ody parLs
and souls merge lnLo one and lnLo unlversal consclousness 1he recelver and glver
blend lnLo one
Choose one nlghL when she wlll be Lhe LoLal recelver and you wlll be Lhe fullon
glver aLLendlng Lo her every need and dellghL Choose anoLher nlghL when lL ls your
Lurn Lo recelve all of her undlvlded aLLenLlon
WhaL uo Women 8eally
WanL?
WhaL do women wanL? lL's Lhe quesLlon Lhe famed
psychoanalysL lreud asked and LhaL men have been
asklng for ages When you're a LanLrlc man you really
know Lven lf you have any doubLs you won'L afLer
Lhls chapLer whlch shows you exacLly how Lo please
your woman ln shorL women wanL carlng aLLenLlon
and love 1he LanLrlc man ls commlLLed Lo glvlng LhaL
Pow can you make sure Lhls nlghL ls dlfferenL from all
oLher nlghLs? LeL's go over Lhe flve baslc sLeps Lo prepare
you Lo recelve your beauLlful goddess and Lhen Lo
please her
SLep 1 SeL ?our lnLenLlon
Wlnglng lL" on a daLe can geL some good resulLs buL you're beLLer off lf you dellberaLely
plan a good Llme WrlLe your lnLenLlon here
WhaL l wanL Lo happen LonlghL
Co back over your lnLenLlon and make sure lL has some encouraglng poslLlve sLaLemenLs
ln lL such as l wanL Lo make her feel good" Make your lnLenLlon even more
poslLlve l wanL her Lo have Lhe mosL memorable evenlng ever"
LcsLasy LssenLlals
Cf course your pleasure Llme
LogeLher does noL have Lo be
nlghLLlme lL can be any Llme of
daymornlng afLernoon or
evenlng WhaLever sulLs your
schedule!
123
ChapLer 10 Clvlng Per Lhe 8esL nlghLs Lver
SLep 2 8emlnd ?ourself 1haL 1hls ls Per nlghL
1hls ls one of Lhe mosL fulfllllng aspecLs of LanLrlc pracLlces lL means LhaL you are LoLally
devoLed Lo your goddess on Lhls nlghL lL's noL abouL your Lenslon aL Lhe offlce
your achlng back and your aroused erecLlon ln facL clear your mlnd of Lhose worrles
noLlce how you feel (lrrlLable nervous exclLed
confldenL) and whaL physlcal sLaLe you are
ln (Llred energlzed) so LhaL you can focus on your
rolebelng Lhere Lo please her
SLep 3 8e repared Lo Serve ?our
Coddess
lor some men Lhls ls Lhe flrsL Llme Lhey have consldered
Lhls concepL servlng Lhe woman 100 percenL
She wlll noL brlng you Lhe newspaper puL
your socks ln Lhe laundry or llck your llngam lL's
noL easy Lo be LoLally selfless buL lL's worLh lL Lo
make Lhls nlghL work and Lo earn your ownand
herdeepesL appreclaLlon
SLep 4 lace ?our lears
WhaL wlll she expecL of me?" WhaL lf l can'L Lake Lhls much lnLenslLy of feellng?"
WhaL lf Lhls means l have Lo be llke Lhls or even beLLer nexL Llme and l can'L llve up
Lo lL?" WhaL lf l don'L do lL rlghL?" 1hese all are naLural feellngs LhaL you need Lo
recognlze and face now so you can be clear of Lhem as you go deeper ln your lovlng
connecLlons and sexual pleasurlng 8elng clear now wlll allow you boLh Lo en[oy Lhe
evenlngs and look forward Lo more ln Lrue LanLrlc
sLyle leL fears come up feel any reacLlons (LlghL
chesL weak knees) and breaLhe Lhrough Lhem
1hey wlll pass and Lhe anxleLy wlll LransmuLe lnLo
energy whlch leads Lo belng Lurned on WhaL a
wonderful LwlsL!
SLep 3 ueclde Pow ?ou Wlll Call
Cn Per
noLlce l use Lhe phrase call on" a daLlng Lerm
from Lhe 1930s Lo purposefully evoke Lhe genLleman
sLyle (as genLlemen came calllng") lL works
well for Lhls flrsL nlghL of pleasure
1anLra 1uLorlal
Men who are used Lo concenLraLlng
on Lhemselves have Lo remember
LhaL Lhey'll have Lhelr
Lurn on hls nlghL" when he'll
be Lhe focus 1hls ls descrlbed ln
ChapLer 11 Clvlng Plm Lhe
8esL nlghLs Lver"
8locks Lo 8llss
Some men mlghL be Lhlnklng
When do we geL Lo Lhe sex?"
Pold on LhaL's why you're on
Lhls paLh Lo rellsh all Lhe dellclous
bulldup especlally slnce
LhaL's whaL Lhe goddess wanLs!
124
Pere are some ldeas
Call her aL work and Lell her Lo meeL you somewhere flrsL lck a romanLlc spoL
or someplace where you know she'll have fun (a concerL play)
Arrange for her Lo do someLhlng LhaL LreaLs her flrsL (llke geLLlng a manlcure or a
massage aL a spa)
1ell her Lo meeL you aL home (where you wlll already have prepared a love nesL)
llll ouL Lhe followlng Lo help you prepare for her nlghL of pleasure Lhen go over your
llsL and plcLure dolng Lhe sLeps ln your mlnd
reparlng for Per leasure nlghL
Where you wlll flrsL meeL (for dlnner a show)
Where you wlll end up (ln your bedroom aL a hoLel)
Pow you wlll lnvlLe and enLlce her
WhaL you wlll say
WhaL you wlll wear
Pow Lhe room wlll be seL up
8oudolr 8aslcs
Women are bound Lo be lmpressed wlLh a man who has puL some efforL lnLo preparaLlons
especlally ln Lhe house maklng Lhe seLLlng look romanLlc Pere are some Llps Lo
seL Lhe sLage for romance
1urn boLh Lhe baLhroom and Lhe bedroom lnLo a sensuous seducLlon scene use
scenLs ([asmlne rose ylangylang) sofL llghLlng (candles ln purple shades Lo lnvoke
female energy or blue shades Lo enhance slze) and flowers (rose for female
genlLals hlblscus for fulflllmenL)
Choose Lhe muslc you are golng Lo play lL's usually a good ldea Lo plck someLhlng
sensuous and slow for Lhls flrsL evenlng (see Lhe suggesLlons ln ChapLer
18 Sex Song and vldeoLape")
SeL ouL sensuous food and drlnk Lo surprlse her durlng your pleasurlng (chocolaLe
klsses fresh frulL sllces sparkllng waLer)
123
nlghL of leasure 1 romlses Lo Lhe Coddess
ln Lhe leasure alace
CreeL her aL Lhe door dressed ln your god aLLlre (sllk pa[amas sllk shlrL and slacks)
freshly shaved and baLhed uurlng Lhe evenlng use words of endearmenL and reafflrm
your enLhuslasm for example
1hls ls your nlghL"
l am LoLally here for you aL your servlce devoLed
Lo your pleasure"
1ake all Lhe Llme you need"
8e sure Lo Lell me exacLly whaL you wanL"
l am en[oylng LonlghL so much"
lL glves me such pleasure Lo be able Lo glve
Lo you fully"
?ou don'L have Lo do anyLhlng for me
LonlghL"
Women need Lo be remlnded
LhaL Lhey can make requesLs and
LhaL Lhelr parLner ls en[oylng Lhe
role of glver keeplng asklng
quesLlons such as WhaL can l do
Lo make you feel good LonlghL?"
1anLra 1ales
ln Charles and Carollne Mulr's weekend workshops on Consclous Lovlng hls and her nlghLs
are cenLral Lo Lhe couple's pleasure 1he sharlng afLer Lhelr nlghLs of glvlng ls hearLwarmlng
and lnsplrlng Many men reporL dellghL ln servlng Lhelr goddess Cne man sald l was so
proud Lo make her so happy" anoLher l never knew lL could feel so good Lo glve"
8elaxlng Per
Lveryone needs Lo be relaxed before sex ln LanLrlc pracLlce every sLep of Lhe way ls
sex 8emember LhaL LanLrlc lovemaklng ls abouL movlng energy Lhrough Lhe breaLh
and belng presenL ln Lhe body and ln Lhe momenL Pere are several ways Lo help her
relax Lo achleve Lhese goals
126
lnvlLe her Lo express her feellngs Lncourage her Lo say whaLever ls on her mlnd
She wlll be ecsLaLlc aL LhaL suggesLlon alone! lnvlLe her Lo venL abouL whaLever
may be boLherlng her from her day Lo clear her mlnd so you can concenLraLe
fully on Lhe good feellngs beLween you venLlng feellngs lnevlLably leads Lo a
release whlch produces warm feellngs Loward Lhe person who wlLnessed Lhe
purge
8aLhe her repare a baLh wlLh scenLed baLh olls ay parLlcular aLLenLlon Lo
washlng her feeL an anclenL LradlLlon LhaL shows respecL and servlce 8aLhlng
also ls meanL for purlflcaLlon
Clve her a massage Cnce her mlnd ls aL peace she ls more ready Lo be Louched
Ask permlsslon Lo massage her uon'L worry LhaL you are noL a professlonal
masseuse or LhaL you don'L know anyLhlng abouL proper Lechnlques 1hls ls
abouL a glfL of love Lhrough your lovlng Louch as long as your hands communlcaLe
love Lhe Lechnlques are noL lmporLanL
Massaglng Lhe goddess
ln glvlng her a massage keep Lhese Lechnlques ln mlnd
Always use a nondemand Louch whlch means you are noL expecLlng your
Louch Lo lead Lo lnLercourse 1ouch [usL for her pleasure of belng Louched
and your pleasure ln Louchlng
never Lake your hands off Lhe body when you massage always malnLaln
some physlcal conLacL Lo keep Lhe person feellng safe and secure
locus your aLLenLlon on your Louchlng wlLhouL allowlng your mlnd Lo geL
dlsLracLed lnLo worrles fears or plans
8e confldenL abouL whaL you are dolng uon'L freL LhaL you are noL Louchlng
her rlghL ask for feedback rlghL away so you are reassured LhaL she ls
pleased
127
Close your eyes connecL wlLh your feellngs and Lune ln Lo her leL your
flngers do whaL you feel her body ls asklng for
Lncourage emoLlons and be prepared for Lhelr release Lncourage her Lo
make sounds and move ln any way LhaL feels comforLable
ay aLLenLlon Lo ofLenneglecLed sensuous areas such as Lhe palm slde of
Lhe llLLle flnger and base of Lhe splne
Ask her whaL parL she would llke you Lo pay speclflc aLLenLlon Lo Llnger
on LhaL parL
Send your love Lhrough your hands and all parLs of you
Move her energy by focuslng your aLLenLlon Lo where you feel she needs lL
(Lo her hearL Lo be more open Lo Lhe power cenLer around Lhe mldsecLlon
Lo empower her Lo her base chakra aL Lhe base of her splne for more securlLy
and groundlng)
As l've emphaslzed uslng a lovlng Louch ls all LhaL maLLers ln massage buL geLLlng
some Lralnlng ln Lechnlques can add someLhlng exLra 8uy books or vldeos
on eroLlc and LanLrlc massage such as Lhose from experL kenneLh 8ay SLubbs
(see Appendlx C 1anLrlc 1ools") or Lake a couples' massage course LogeLher
nlghL of leasure 2 CeLLlng Closer
When someLhlng ls pleasurable why noL repeaL lL? Cn a successlve nlghL LhaL you
ldenLlfy as her nlghL you can repeaL Lhe prevlous sLeps Add someLhlng exLra as a surprlse
such as a small glfL new massage sLroke dlfferenL muslc or new ouLflL LhaL you
wear WlLh each daLe you can geL more lnLense abouL pleasurlng her sex cenLer and
her sacred space 8emember Lo do Lhe followlng
Pold your hand on her sex cenLer (yonl) and ask permlsslon Lo enLer her
sacred space
lf you and your goddess are comforLable wlLh lL use flowery words Lo label Lhls
area (your love cave" your flower garden" your secreL love space")
uo Lhe uouble Love 8lasL l use Lhls Lerm because he sends and she recelves love
from boLh her sex and hearL cenLers[usL whaL women wanL sex wlLh love!
Send your love Lhrough your hand and lnLo her sacred cave" (a LanLrlc Lerm for
vaglna) and Lhrough your breaLh lnLo her hearL
Ask Lo examlne her body all over 8e enLhuslasLlc (l'm en[oylng Lhls") and compllmenLary
(?ou look so beauLlful")
use dlfferenL sLrokes Lo Louch her sexual area lnslde and ouL
keep looklng ln her eyes and encouraglng her Lo look aL you 8reaLhe LogeLher
Lo harmonlze your energy
128
Add oral pleasure A woman who has goLLen over her shame or embarrassmenL
abouL her genlLals can experlence Lremendous exclLemenL from your llps and
mouLh on her genlLalla She wlll feel Lruly adored and pleased 8e sure Lo Lell her
how much you en[oy dolng Lhls lnclude pollshlng Lhe pearl" (a LanLrlc Lerm
for oral sLlmulaLlon of Lhe cllLorls) and explorlng her sacred cave Ask her whaL
klnd of sLlmulaLlon she llkes
Sendlng love energy from
her sex cenLer and hls
hearL lnLo her hearL
Sendlng pleasure by pollshlng
her pearl and
pleaslng her sacred space
lnLo her hearL cenLer for
LoLal love connecLlon
1he LanLra man who can brlng a woman Lo helghLs of oral pleasure ls rlghLfully
pleased wlLh hlmself As one man Lold me l'm even happler knowlng l can
please her Lhan when l geL saLlsfled flrsL Women Lhlnk we're all selflsh buL
we're noL!"
129
Lncourage her Lo pleasure herself 8efore one
of her nlghLs encourage her Lo pleasure herself
Lhen on one of your daLes ask her Lo
show you whaL she does so you know exacLly
how Lo please her Llkely she wlll concenLraLe
on her cllLorls uslng moLlons you should
sLudy carefully so LhaL you can repeaL Lhem
8eassure her how much men en[oy waLchlng
a woman do Lhls
1he 8esoluLlon hase
ln LanLrlc sex Lhe resoluLlon phase or cooldown
perlod ls meanL Lo conLlnue Lhe lnLlmacy keep ln
mlnd LhaL women usually need more of a coollngdown
perlod afLer lnLense lovemaklng Lhan men
Cf course you boLh could be Llred and wanL Lo
sleep Lhls ls flne 8uL she mlghL wanL Lo spend
some Llme dwelllng ln Lhe momenLs of pleasure
Lalklng abouL how she feels or abouL whaL happened
and cerLalnly would wanL you Lo be awake
enough Lo llsLen and share 8e senslLlve Lo her
needs on Lhese speclal nlghLs and reslsL Lhe deslre Lo fall asleep (Cver Llme you can
beLLer coordlnaLe your Llmlng ln Lhls phase because you wlll have learned Lo conLrol
your e[aculaLlon and boLh of you wlll be able Lo conLlnue cycllng your energy)
Some Llps Lo accompllsh Lhls phase ln ongolng dellghL
Assume Lhe spoons poslLlon ln whlch one of you nesLles lnLo Lhe chesL of Lhe
oLher so you are essenLlally back Lo fronL
ConLlnue Lhe synchronlzed breaLh so you are breaLhlng ln and ouL aL Lhe same
Llme sLaylng ln Lune
LlghLly Lap on each oLher's energy cenLernoL enough Lo generaLe a greaL deal
of energy as you boLh wanL Lo relax now buL enough Lo keep you boLh awake
and drlnklng ln Lhe dellghLs of your experlence
nlghL of leasure 3 When Love and Love
Llquld llow
Ponorlng Lhe goddess Lakes on a speclal meanlng on Lhe nlghL LhaL she ls ready Lo
allow you Lo explore her sacred space freely Always sLarL wlLh glvlng her a lovlng
massage and repeaL Lhe sLeps ln Lhe lnsLrucLlons for Lhe flrsL Lwo nlghLs Ask
LcsLasy LssenLlals
Learn everyLhlng you can abouL
Lhe cllLorls as lL ls an lmporLanL
Lrlgger for a woman's pleasure
8ead 1he CllLoral 1ruLh by
8ebecca Chalker (Seven SLorles
ress 2000) Lo ease lnLo Lhe
conversaLlon abouL explorlng exacLly
where Lhls pleasure buLLon
ls how far lL exLends lnLo a
woman's body and how lL becomes
erecL (llke a llngam) when
exclLed
130
permlsslon Lo pleasure her and Lo enLer her sacred space uslng your flnger enLer her
yonl genLly gulded by her response use your mlddle flnger Lo make a come hlLher"
moLlon Lo sLlmulaLe Lhe sacred space on Lhe fronL wall of Lhe vaglna one Lhlrd of Lhe
way up (commonly called Lhe C spoL buL acLually an area also called Lhe goddess
space and sacred secLor) 1he Llssue mlghL become a llLLle rougher Lo Lhe feel and expand
yleldlng more lubrlcaLlon lf she responds wlLh pleasure you can become more
vlgorous As her exclLemenL mounLs call ouL encouragemenL and qulcken your
moLlon
Pow Lo pleasure Lhe
goddess space
Always walL for her lnvlLaLlon uo noL enLer her unLll she asks you Lo by words or acLlons
1hen enLer slowly feellng each exqulslLe sensaLlon Move Lo her rhyLhm keep
remlndlng her Lo breaLhe keep reassurlng her LhaL you are en[oylng yourself LhaL she
has all Lhe Llme she needs and LhaL you appreclaLe her
8emember Lo avold havlng expecLaLlons abouL how she wlll respond Some men feel
challenged Lo make" a woman have a female e[aculaLlon 1ake Lhe pressure off her
[usL as you don'L wanL any pressure Lo perform! Whlle any woman can e[aculaLe noL
all do parLly because Lhe sensaLlon lmmedlaLely before ofLen feels llke Lhe urge Lo urlnaLe
whlch confuses women and makes Lhem sLop whaL Lhey are dolng lL's also noL
as easy as men's e[aculaLlon because women (excepL Lhose pracLlced ln Lhls arL!) Lake
longer Lo geL exlLed AddlLlonally women really do have more emoLlonal prerequlslLes
Lhan men for leLLlng go ln orgasm
131
1he Cne 1hlng Women need MosL
ln all my work wlLh couples over Lhe years and Leachlng women Lo have orgasm Lhe
one Lhlng women menLlon as belng mosL lmporLanL Lo Lhem ls LrusL A woman needs
Lo be able Lo LrusL LhaL you care abouL her and LhaL you love her Cbvlously lL would
be besL lf you really do love herand Lhen profess your love openly honesLly and
passlonaLely
1he Cne 1hlng Women WanL MosL
?es lL's sLlll abouL LhaL fourleLLer word love Show your love abundanLly aL all Llmes
buL especlally on her nlghL CranLed more women are becomlng llberaLed" wllllng
Lo choose a sexual connecLlon wlLhouL lnLense emoLlon buL when lL geLs down Lo lL
women wanL Lo love and be loved lorLunaLely more men are wllllng Lo reveal LhaL
Lhey wanL Lhls Loo on hls nlghL he can geL LhaLand more
1anLra 1uLorlal
Some sex LheraplsLs are skepLlcal abouL female e[aculaLe Powever researchers such as
Cary Schubach prove Lhe earller nowfamous research of Whlpple and erry abouL Lhe
exlsLence of Lhe C spoL (see wwwuocLorCcom) Schubach's sLudles of female emlsslon
from sLlmulaLlon of Lhe area he calls Lhe C cresL show lL ls a mlxLure of fluld from ureLhral
glands and ducLs and Lhe bladder (alLhough deflnlLely noL urlne) 1he fluld seeps from
Lhe ureLhral sponge Llssue surroundlng Lhe ureLhra and exlLs Lhe body from Lhe ureLhral
openlng
132
A very rewardlng and pleasurable LanLrlc pracLlce ls for couples Lo alLernaLe
nlghLs devoLed Lo each oLher
repare your nlghL of pleasure for her beforehand by maklng Lhe room and
yourself look speclal Come up wlLh your own ldeas and ask her whaL she
wanLs
leaslng her usually lncludes relaxlng her wlLh a massage and appreclaLlng boLh
her body and her soul
Always sLarL by harmonlzlng your energles and connecLlng aL Lhe hearL level
before you progress Lo more sexual acLlons A solld foundaLlon of LrusL lovlng
and sharlng wlll open herand youLo pleasure
As you progress ln pleasurlng her sexually and more lnLlmaLely ask her permlsslon
and conLlnue Lo send your love energy lnLo her hearL
lnclude oral pleasurlng and pleasurlng her sacred space encouraglng her Lo
allow Lhe fullesL exLenL of expresslon lncludlng Lhe posslblllLy of a female
e[aculaLlon
ChapLer 11
Clvlng Plm Lhe
8esL nlghLs Lver
ln 1hls ChapLer
1he beglnnlng of many nlghLs of pleasure for hlm
Pelplng hlm surrender Lo pleasure
WhaL Lo do on Lhe second and Lhlrd nlghLs and beyond
WhaL Lo say and whlch speclflc pleasure Lechnlques Lo use
Movlng energy Lo hls hearL Lo creaLe more love
Llngam sLrokes Lo send hlm lnLo bllss
She had her nlghL ln Lhe prevlous chapLer now lL's hls Lurn! ln Lhls chapLer l'll gulde
you Lhrough several nlghLs of pleasure for hlm Cf course you can use Lhe exerclses ln
Lhls book Lo lnsplre you Lo deslgn your own nlghL of pleasure l encourage you Lo use
your lmaglnaLlonafLer all LanLra ls abouL you expresslng your lnner self! AlLhough l
speak dlrecLly Lo Lhe woman ln Lhls chapLer slnce she ls Lhe glver Lhe man wlll wanL
Lo read abouL Lhe dellghLs ln sLore for hlm as recelver (Lven Lhough you boLh dld Lhls
exerclse for her nlghL" Lhere wlll sLlll be surprlses for you)
8emember you are goddess Lo hls god ShakLl Lo hls Shlva ?ou are Lhe embodlmenL
of all eLernal beauLy of women Lhe source of all nourlshmenL Lhe essenLlal oLher half
Lo compleLe hls paLh Lo bllss Pe ls Lhe embodlmenL of all LhaL ls eLernal sLrengLh ln
man Lhe source of llghL an essenLlal compleLlon of your belng on your paLh Lo bllss
Pe ls Zeus Lo your Pera LanceloL Lo your Cenevlere 8omeo Lo your !ulleL (buL no
Lragedy please!)
134
nlghL 1 1aklng ?our Man lnLo 1anLrlc 8llss
1he flrsL evenlng of pleaslng your man wlll be only Lhe beglnnlng of many nlghLs
of pleasure keep ln mlnd LhaL Lhls nlghL ls dlfferenL from Lhe oLher nlghLs you have
spenL LogeLher 1hls nlghL wlll lncorporaLe Lhe speclflc LanLrlc rlLuals you have been
learnlng abouL ln Lhls book lncludlng your preparaLlon
and whaL Lo do durlng Lhe acLual Llme beLween
you
reparlng Plm for leasure
ueclde on some surprlses for your man such as
where you wlll meeL and how he wlll geL Lhere
Make lL orlglnal and speclal lor example Lell hlm
Lo meeL you aL a resLauranL LhaL you know has a romanLlc
aLmosphere Call hlm and Lell hlm where Lo
be 8e mysLerlous 8e yourself or preLend Lo be a secreL
admlrer uress ln a way LhaL you know wlll exclLe
hlm
CaLher Lhe lLems you'll need for hls nlghL of pleasure
so you are prepared (see ChapLer 7 SeLLlng Lhe
SLage for ?our 1anLrlc nlghLs of leasure") 1hls lncludes
muslc sacramenLs (wlne speclal drlnks or
foods) and cloLhlng repare Lhe pleasure den as
much as posslble beforehand by arranglng Lhe furnlLure ad[usLlng Lhe llghLlng placlng
candles ln Lhe baLhroom and maklng any oLher preparaLlons
llll ouL Lhe followlng checkllsL[usL as he dld for your nlghL of pleasure ln Lhe prevlous
chapLerLo prepare for hls pleasure nlghL Co over your llsL and plcLure dolng Lhe
sLeps ln your mlnd
reparlng for Pls nlghL CheckllsL
Where you wlll flrsL meeL (for dlnner a show)
Where you wlll end up (ln your bedroom aL a hoLel)
Pow you wlll lnvlLe and enLlce hlm
WhaL you wlll say
WhaL you wlll wear
Pow Lhe room wlll be seL up
8locks Lo 8llss
Cf course you mlghL be nervous
durlng Lhls evenlng dolng someLhlng
new and worrylng abouL
geLLlng lL rlghL uon'L be! ln Llme
you wlll become more comforLable
lL's only lmporLanL LhaL you
are devoLed Lo addlng a new dlmenslon
Lo your lovemaklng and
lnLlmacy
133
ChapLer 11 Clvlng Plm Lhe 8esL nlghLs Lver
Leadlng Plm Lo Lhe 1anLrlc Love 1emple
Cnce you've been ouL on Lhe Lown or whaLever place your god en[oys you are ready
Lo go back Lo Lhe LanLrlc love Lemple Lo begln Lhe rlLuals of pleasure ?our LanLrlc love
Lemple ls whaLever place you have declded you can have prlvaLe Llme Lo en[oy your
LanLrlc love rlLual Cf course you need Lo spend some Llme and energy on Lhe
preparaLlons
reparlng Plm for Pls nlghL of Love
Cnce your man ls ln your sacred space Lhe nexL
sLage of your pleasurlng beglns
SLep 1 uL Plm aL Lase
Make hlm comforLable by seaLlng hlm ln a sofL recllnlng
chalr or laylng hlm on a couch whlle you
go prepare hls baLh and yourself uL on muslc he
en[oys Lo ease hls mlnd Lhen dress ln your goddess
cloLhes lL ls always a good ldea Lo dress separaLely
Lo creaLe surprlse when you see each oLher
[usL as a brlde and groom dress separaLely before
Lhelr weddlng Come ouL ln your goddess cloLhes
and pose before hlm allowlng hlm Lo appreclaLe
your beauLy
1anLra 1ales
AlLhough aLrlce and Pank llved ln new ?ork for years Lhey had never Laken a horsedrawn
carrlage rlde Lhrough CenLral ark one of Lhe LourlsL aLLracLlons and a romanLlc
experlence lor hls pleasure nlghL aLrlce called Pank aL Lhe end of hls work day and
sald l'm walLlng ouLslde for you come downsLalrs" When he arrlved on Lhe sLreeL
aLrlce was ln Lhe horsedrawn carrlage walLlng Lo whlsk hlm away As Lhey cuddled
under Lhe blankeL ln Lhe cool alr aLrlce promlsed hlm Lhe evenlng was for hlmand Lhe
LanLrlc pleasures LhaL she had prepared for hlm
lf you are aL hls house or anoLher
place prepare your goddess bag
a Lravellng bag wlLh your goddess
cloLhes and all Lhe accouLremenLs
you wlll need for hls nlghL
lncludlng speclal muslc candles
and foods
136
?ou can also ask hlm Lo prepare hlmself ln hls cloLhes whlle you walL uo Lhls even lf
you wlll be dlsroblng hlm elLher for hls baLh or for lovemaklng Pls dressup makes
hlm feel Lhe evenlng ls speclal and dellghLs you when you see hlm
SLep 2 8aLhe Plm
As l've polnLed ouL earller baLhlng ls an lmporLanL parL of Lhe LanLrlc love rlLual
LscorL your Shlva god lnLo Lhe baLh wlLh your mosL seducLlve smlle 1llL your head
expose a Lhlgh drop a sLrap off your shoulder undress hlm admlrlng every parL of
hls body
roceed wlLh Lhe baLh
SuggesL LhaL he shave and Lhen waLch as he does or do lL for hlm lf he agrees
(carefully of course!)
Wash each parL of hls body lncludlng hls feeL and halr (lf he agrees) Lhls ls especlally
eroLlc
1anLallze hlm by washlng oLher parLs before you geL Lo hls genlLals 8un soapy
hands up and around hls llngam and scroLum area and Lhe cheeks of hls buLLocks
and genLly around hls flrsL chakra (anal area)
Make appreclaLlve remarks abouL hls body parLs as you are baLhlng Lhem
When you're done wrap hlm ln a sofL Lowel or baLhrobe and walk hlm lnLo Lhe
bedroom or oLher room deslgnaLed as your love Lemple
SLep 3 LnLer Lhe Love 1emple
Lay hlm down on Lhe bed maL or whaLever you declde wlll be your love nesL Clve
hlm a few mlnuLes Lo relax ln Lhe space and geL comforLable
SLep 4 romlse Plm leasure
1ell hlm a few exclLlng promlses abouL how Lhe evenlng wlll go AlLhough men are
noL always verbalofLen respondlng Lo [usL acLlonLanLrlc lovemaklng sLlmulaLes all
Lhe senses whlch lncludes offerlng verbal sLaLemenLs abouL your love whaL you wanL
Lo do and reassurances Men also ofLen llke Lo be ln conLrol so glvlng hlm some cues
abouL whaL ls happenlng and whaL wlll happen wlll probably make hlm feel more
relaxed Say [usL enough Lo puL hlm aL ease buL noL Loo much LhaL would be a dlsLracLlon
or engage hls mlnd 1he ldea of LanLrlc sex ls Lo feel ln Lhe body and quleL
Lhe mlnd
use Lhe followlng four 8's as guldellnes
8eassure hlm Assure hlm LhaL he does noL have Lo perform or do anyLhlng Lo
please you ?ou don'L have Lo do anyLhlng Lo please me l'm here LoLally Lo
please you LonlghL" 1hls nlghL ls LoLally for you" As Lhe pleasurlng progresses
137
add sLaLemenLs such as ?ou don'L have Lo have an erecLlon or geL exclLed [usL
en[oy Lhe feellngs ln your body"
8elax hlm Say l'm golng Lo massage you Lo relax you and you [usL have Lo
lay Lhere and en[oy Lhe sensaLlons ?ou can Lell me whaL Lo do LhaL you would
parLlcularly llke"
8elleve hlm ConsLanLly Lell hlm LhaL you are en[oylng whaL you are dolng so
he does noL worry
8eward hlm Men ([usL as women) love Lo be acknowledged so Lell hlm how
dellghLed you are wlLh hlm as a person CompllmenL who he ls and Lell hlm
whaL you parLlcularly llke abouL hls body
now LhaL he feels relaxed and appreclaLed you can begln more physlcal pleasurlng
1he 1anLrlc Shlva Massage a 1lme Lo Surrender
A massage should always be parL of a pleasure nlghL noLhlng ls more relaxlng or
makes a parLner feel more open emoLlonally Spend aL leasL half an hour dolng Lhls
Pere are Lhe key sLeps and polnLs Lo remember abouL glvlng your Shlva a LanLrlcally
superlaLlve massage
8egln by laylng hlm comforLably on hls back on a flaL buL padded surface 8un
your hands smooLhly over hls body Lhen resL Lhem along Lhe Lop of hls splne
and Lhe base of hls splne (Lhls connecLlng Lhe enLlre splne) WhaL do you feel? ls
he warm or cold ln one of Lhose spoLs?
Cooler places may need more of your love
energy Lo warm Lhem up
Warm hls skln wlLh loLs of oll use your body
as much as your hands rubblng your breasLs
from hls mouLh down hls belly 1ell hlm
?ou feel so good" 8ub hls back and legs and
Lurn hlm over Lo pleasure hls chesL
keep looklng lnLo hls eyes and encourage
hlm Lo make sounds of pleasure
Cpen hls hearL 8un your hands from hls sex
cenLer (llngam) Lo hls hearL LransmuLlng hls
sexual arousal energy lnLo lovlng feellngs
1hls ls whaL you wanL from hlmand whaL
he wanLs for hlmself! Send your love Lhrough
your hands Always be consclous and respecLful
LhaL you are movlng energy ln Lhe massage
brlng hls energy from hls sex cenLer up
lnLo hls hearL
1anLra 1ales
8e aware LhaL as your man lles on
hls back (ln a LradlLlonally female"
recelvlng poslLlon) he may
feel vulnerable 8eassure hlm LhaL
Lhese feellngs are naLural and
expecL hlm Lo reslsL kelly found
all klnds of excuses (l'm Llred"
LhaL's enough") buL !oelly lnslsLed
Lhey conLlnue As she
rubbed hls sLomach he began Lo
cry feellng never before opened
ln Lhls way or so loved
138
Langulshlng Cver Pls Llngam
AfLer you have massaged hls enLlre body you are ready Lo begln concenLraLlng on hls
llngam MosL men dellghL ln belng Louched Lhere AfLer a body massage he mlghL be
so exclLed when you Louch hls llngam LhaL he feels Lhe urge Lo e[aculaLe ln LhaL case
use Lhe sLopsLarL Lechnlque (see ChapLer 12 Make Lovemaklng LasL and LasL
and LasL") and LransmuLe Lhe energy so he geLs a chance Lo dwell ln Lhe pleasure of
Lhls parL of Lhe massage
AL Lhls polnL reassurance ls very lmporLanL reassure hlm he doesn'L need Lo geL an
erecLlon only Lo lay back and en[oy lL 1here are more Lhan Lhree dozen sLrokes you
can choose from All of Lhe massage sLrokes LhaL are relevanL Lo Lhe body massage can
be applled Lo Lhe llngam massage keep ln mlnd Lhe dlfferenL degrees of pressure
flrmness of your Louch and dlfferenL Louches from smooLh sLrokes Lo llghL feaLhery
Louches and from presses and squeezes Lo llghL scraLches
When pleasurlng hls llngam Lune ln Lo hls energy and Lhe degree of Louch he wanLs
aL any parLlcular momenL vary your Louches Lo surprlse hlm and helghLen Lhe sLlmulaLlon
8emember LhaL ln LanLrlc lovemaklng you are noL Lrylng Lo Lurn hlm on geL
hlm hard or make hlm come you are playlng wlLh and movlng hls energy 8e aLLenLlve
respecLful and aware of Lhe power of Lhls massage acL as parL of your unlon
Conslder Lhese llngam love sLrokes
SLarL by dellcaLely feaLherlng Lhe llngam by llghLly brushlng your flngers up Lhe
shafL and around Lhe Llp
uslng massage Lo draw
hls sex energy lnLo hls
hearL
139
uo a LradlLlonal upanddown moLlon grlpplng Lhe llngam falrly flrmly (ask
hlm whaL pressure feels good for hlm)
Move your hand up and down Lhe llngam wlLh your flngers worklng Lhelr way
up ln a moLlon llke a splder's legs
Work your hand up and down Lhe llngam pulslng your hand as you move lL up
a noLch
Pold your hands wlLh palms sLreLched ouL press Lhe llngam beLween your
hands and LwlsL Lhe llngam lnslde your hands as you move your hands up from
base Lo Llp as lf kneadlng dough 1hls sLroke ls called rolllng Lhunder
Lovlng Lhe llngam wlLh
rolllng Lhunder along
Lhe shafL
Crlp hls llngam wlLh one hand aL Lhe base
Lhls helps hlm keep hls erecLlon WlLh your
oLher hand sLarL aL Lhe base and run your
hand up Lhe shafL and over Lhe Lop of hls
llngam sLopplng Lo caress Lhe head ln a clrcular
moLlon and Lhen run your hand down
Lhe shafL agaln
Pold Lhe llngam beLween your hands and
genLly Loss" lL from one hand Lo anoLher
1he Second leasure nlghL
8epeaL all Lhe sLeps you've learned so far buL add
some varlaLlon Wear a dlfferenL goddess ouLflL uL
on dlfferenL muslc (see ChapLer 18 Sex Song
and vldeoLape" or Appendlx C 1anLrlc 1ools" for some ldeas) Make love ln a
dlfferenL room or place or decoraLe Lhe room and bed dlfferenLly
Many men wanL women Lo be
more asserLlve ln how Lhey caress
Lhelr llngam Ask whaL degree of
flrmness he llkes ShlfL from more
yln (llghL genLle) Louches Lo
more yang (sLrong flrm) ones
and vlce versa
140
A varlaLlon on Massage
lor hls second nlghL repeaL Lhe sLrokes and Lechnlques he llked ln Lhe lasL massage
you gave hlm Lhen surprlse hlm wlLh new approaches or Louches Some more advanced
massage Lechnlques lnclude
uon'L [usL use your flngers use your palm heel
of your hand your breasLs even your feeL
lnserL hls llngam beLween your breasLs and press
your breasLs llghLly LogeLher Move Lhem up and
down and slde Lo slde
8rush your halr llghLly agalnsL hls body parLs
use longer sLrokes LhaL sLarL aL Lhe Lop or boLLom
of hls body and end aL hls llngam Lhen
Lrace back Lo Lhe exLremlLles
lnclude More Llngam SLrokes
When leasurlng
Pere are some advanced sLrokes Lo Lry for pleasurlng
your parLner use loLlon on boLh hands Lo make Lhe
movemenLs gllde more smooLhly and Lhe sensaLlons
more pleasurable Some loLlons become Loo sLlcky or
wlll lrrlLaLe Lhe penls so experlmenL wlLh dlfferenL
klnds vasellne wlll feel good for hlm [usL be sure noL
Lo lnserL Lhe llngam ln Lhe yonl unless Lhls ls wlped
off because lL ls noL healLhy for Lhe chemlsLry of Lhe vaglna
Corkscrew Pold Lhe llngam flrmly aL Lhe base whlle Lhe oLher hand slldes
from Lhe base Lo Lhe Llp wlLh a LwlsLlng moLlon Change hands and conLlnue
Lhe moLlon Ask hlm how LlghL a grlp he llkes of your hands and how vlgorously
he would llke you Lo roLaLe your hands
Peady Lrlp Pold Lhe base of Lhe llngam flrmly as you caress Lhe Llp by maklng
clrcles AlLernaLe Lhls caress wlLh pulllng Lhe head up and LwlsLlng lL genLly
ollshlng Lhe helmeL Move one hand up and down Lhe shafL as you cradle
Lhe head ln Lhe cenLer of Lhe palm of your oLher hand and move LhaL hand ln a
clrcular moLlon
almlng Lhe crown Pold Lhe shafL flrmly wlLh one hand and roLaLe Lhe Llp
wlLh Lhe palm of Lhe oLher Move Lhe hands so Lhey change poslLlon
1he llngam mudras ress Lwo flngers llghLly on Lwo dlfferenL parLs of Lhe
llngam scroLum perlneum (Lhe space beLween Lhe scroLum and anus) and anal
openlng 1hls runs powerful energy Lhrough hls pleasure spoLs
Always remlnd hlm Lo breaLhe
when he geLs exclLed he mlghL
hold hls breaLh ([usL as women
Lend Lo do) 1hls holdlng can be
helpful only lf lL ls done ln Lhe
conLexL of a LanLrlc breaLhlng
pracLlce ln whlch he ls consclously
movlng hls breaLh Lo
move hls energy Lncourage hlm
Lo make sounds as a way Lo ensure
LhaL he conLlnues breaLhlng
141
leaslng Pls Cod SpoLs
ln popular [argon Lhe woman has Lhe lnfamous C spoLLhaL spoL lnslde Lhe vaglna
LhaL ls supersenslLlve Slmllarly Lhe man has senslLlve C spoLs hoL spoLs or god areas
Cn nlghL 2focus on hls Lwo exLernal hoL spoLs
1he frenulum whlch ls Lhe knobllke proLruslon on Lhe underslde of Lhe penls
where Lhe Llp meeLs Lhe shafL
1he perlneum locaLed beLween Lhe LesLlcles and Lhe anal openlng
Cn nlghL 3 you can geL Lo hls lnLernal god area 1hls can be done only when he ls
more relaxed and prepared Lo geL more lnLlmaLe because Lhls Lype of sLlmulaLlon wlll
ralse many more feellngs ln hlm posslbly even reslsLance and fear (l'll dlscuss Lhese
concerns ln deLall ln ChapLer 17 Sexual Peallng Lo SeL ?ou lree")
8ulldlng Pls Sexual Charge
1o drlve your man wlld ln LanLrlc sex bulld a sexual charge sLarLlng ln hls sex cenLer
(llngam) and Lhen asslsL hlm ln sendlng Lhls energy LhroughouL hls body 1he Lechnlques
Lo do Lhls have been descrlbed ln earller chapLers ln Lhls book buL Lo revlew
Lhem follow Lhese sLeps
SlL LogeLher ln yab yum poslLlon or whaLever poslLlon feels comforLable for you
uo Lhe synchronlzlng breaLh for flve breaLhs and Lhen Lhe alLernaLlng breaLh for
flve breaLhs Lo geL yourselves ln Lune
Lovlng Lhe llngam by
holdlng Lhe base and
caresslng Lhe Llp
142
uo your own C pumps (bandhas) as descrlbed ln ChapLer 3 rep ?our 8ody
1emple of Love" Lo bulld a sexual charge ln your yonl so LhaL when you cycle
your energy lnLo hls body you wlll be sendlng lnLense sexual energy lnLo
hls body
uo flve cycles of breaLh beLween you from your sex cenLer Lhrough your power
and hearL cenLer and lnLo hls hearL and down Lhrough hls power cenLer and
lnLo hls sex cenLer 8e consclous abouL how powerful Lhls energy ls
uo flve flre breaLhs LogeLher lnhallng and exhallng vlgorously Lhrough Lhe nose
Ask hlm Lo do hls C pumps squeezlng hls C muscles on Lhe lnhale Lo bulld
Lhe lnLenslLy of Lhe energy and leLLlng go on Lhe exhale drawlng Lhe energy up
hls body uo Lhls flve Llmes
1he SecreL Lo Movlng Pls Lnergy
As you are pleasurlng hlm concenLraLe on dlrecLlng hls energy Lo connecL Lhe sexual
charge from hls genlLal area Lo oLher body parLs parLlcularly hls hearL (Lo creaLe more
love) Choose whlch parL of hlm you feel needs energy or LhaL you wanL Lo energlze
lor example lf you feel he needs Lo be more senslLlve aL LhaL momenL you can help
move hls energy Lo hls hearL cenLer lf you feel he needs Lo speak someLhlng aL LhaL
Llme you can move hls sexual energy Lo hls LhroaL cenLer
Whlle sLlmulaLlng hls llngam wlLh your rlghL hand move your lefL hand up Lhe cenLer
of hls body Lo hls oLher energy cenLers Send your breaLh lnLo hls llngam Lhrough
your rlghL hand and Lrace Lhe breaLh wlLh your lmaglnaLlon as lL goes up hls body
lnLo Lhe chakra you have chosen Lhen ouL your lefL hand and lnLo your body agaln
Lxhale as you send Lhe energy lnLo hls body and lnhale as you draw lL lnLo your body
Lo be recharged creaLlng a cycle WlLh Lhese chakra connecLs you can acLually move
Lhe energy up by sweeplng your hands up hls body Ad[usL your own poslLlon from
slLLlng beLween hls legs Lo slLLlng aL hls lefL (recelvlng) slde so you can reach hls energy
cenLers easlly
Move your hand Lo hls power cenLer and genLly hold your hand Lhere keep
your oLher hand on hls llngam Lncourage hlm Lo feel any feellngs he mlghL
have lncludlng any sensaLlons of power
Move your hand Lo hls LhroaL cenLer and genLly hold your hand Lhere keep
your oLher hand on hls llngam Lncourage hlm Lo feel any feellngs LhaL he
mlghL have lncludlng hls ablllLy Lo communlcaLe and say whaL he wanLs
Move your hand Lo hls brow cenLer (Lhlrd eye) and genLly hold your hand Lhere
keep your oLher hand on hls llngam Lncourage hlm Lo feel any feellngs he
mlghL have or see any vlslons LhaL may come
Move your hand Lo Lhe Lop of hls head and genLly hold your hand Lhere
keep your oLher hand on hls llngam Lncourage hlm Lo have any feellngs or
sensaLlons
143
8e aware LhaL as you Louch Lhese places on hls body he mlghL feel flashes bolLs of
llghL or elecLrlclLy 1hls ls because you are acLlng as a conducLor of powerful energy
faclllLaLlng lLs Lravel from one place Lo Lhe oLher LxperlmenL wlLh dlfferenL Louches
and ask hlm whaL he llkes
1he 1hlrd nlghL of leasure
Cn each successlve nlghL of pleasure for hlm repeaL some of Lhe prevlous Lechnlques
Whlle you are pleaslng hls llngam don'L forgeL oLher areas of pleasure
SLroke hls lnner Lhlghs
SLreLch hls legs aparL and squeeze Lhe muscles LhaL connecL Lhe Lhlgh wlLh Lhe
genlLal area (Lhe ones LhaL seem Lo pop ouL when you sLreLch hls legs) 1hls feels
excepLlonally good
SLarL aL hls belly buLLon and walk" your flngers down hls body lnLo hls publc
area presslng hls senslLlve god spoL locaLed ln Lhe perlneal area (as descrlbed
earller ln Lhls chapLer) 8epeaL Lhe same sLeps ln reverse
ay aLLenLlon Lo hls LesLlcles (be genLle) aL Lhe same Llme as Lhe llngam
LnLerlng Pls Sacred Space
now you're ready Lo enLer hls sacred spaceLhe anal openlng LhaL mosL men panlc
over 1hey usually have never been Louched Lhere or fear Lhe homosexuallLy Lhey belleve
lL lmplles When he seems exLremely relaxed ask hlm May l enLer you?"
8emember always ask permlsslon!
lf he says no go back Lo dolng someLhlng he was en[oylng lf he wanLs you Lo conLlnue
resL your flnger aL hls openlng Lncourage hlm Lo breaLhe allowlng whaLever
feellngs come up Cover Lhe area and your flnger wlLh loLs of oll Pold your flnger
sLeady and leL hlm push agalnsL you showlng hls readlness LnLerlng slowly he can
Lense hls anal muscles and release Lhem agalnsL your flnger 8emember Lo go very
slowly Allow hlm Lo gulde Lhe degree speed and depLh wlLh whlch you sLlmulaLe
hlm 8esL your flnger lnslde ln a sLlll fashlon
Lxplorlng and LxclLlng Pls Cod SpoL
Cnce he ls more comforLable wlLh belng enLered ln hls sacred space read hls slgnals
abouL when Lo be more vlgorous and experlmenLal wlLh how you please hlm Lhere
Add manual pleasure wlLh your oLher hand Lo hls llngam and scroLal area whlle
you are pleaslng hls sacred space
Add oral pleasure Lo hls llngam and scroLal area whlle you are pleaslng hls
sacred space
Move Lhe energy wlLh your oLher hand Lo hls oLher energy cenLers as descrlbed
prevlously for nlghL 2
144
LeL your flngers explore hls sacred space by varylng Lhe depLh and Lype of
Louch LeL your flngers sweep lnslde hls sacred space lmaglnlng a clock lnslde
and sweeplng from 10 o'clock Lo 2 o'clock
ress your palm agalnsL hls perlneum (exLernal C spoL) and anal openlng Lo add
pleasure use your oLher hand Lo sLroke hls llngam up and down WlLh Lhe Llp
of your Lhumb genLly and rhyLhmlcally sLroke Lhe frenulum Lhe senslLlve underslde
aL Lhe Llp
resslng a male C spoL
for pleasure
As you do Lhese advanced sLlmulaLlon Lechnlques remember Lo LransmuLe Lhe energy
always drawlng lL up Lo hls hlgher energy cenLers LlghLly hum" lnLo an area or
blow warm breaLh onLo lL 1he warmLh of your breaLh and your love wlll surely warm
hls hearL besldes maklng hlm exclLed all over
Cn hls nlghLs of pleasure leL hlm know LhaL you are LoLally hls servanL you
are Lhere Lo please hlm and he does noL have Lo do anyLhlng ln reLurn
repare yourself (whaL you wlll wear say do) and your space for lovemaklng
Lhen be sponLaneous and creaLe new dellghLs
8ulld Lhe Lypes of sLlmulaLlon ln several sLeps so LhaL he ls able Lo recelve
pleasure comforLably and wlLhouL fears or anxleLy
8ulld hls sexual energy by pleasurlng hls llngam and Lhen dlrecL LhaL energy Lo
oLher energy cenLers parLlcularly hls hearL Lo bulld more love beLween you
ChapLer 12
Make
Lovemaklng
LasL and LasL
and LasL
ln 1hls ChapLer
Pow LanLrlc sex makes menand sexlasL longer
WhaL's your reacLlon Lo qulckle sex?
MyLhs and facLs abouL lasLlng longer
1he pros and cons of delaylng e[aculaLlon
Sexual kung lu and oLher secreLs of delaylng e[aculaLlon
WhaL Lhe woman can do Lo help Lhe man delay
Wouldn'L lL be nlce lf you and your parLner could have Lhose long lovemaklng sesslons
of your romanLlc fanLasles? Suppose he could be alerL and pleasurlng her for
hours wouldn'L she be dellghLed? And besL of all whaL lf he could lasL as long as he
wanLs lnsLead of havlng such a qulck sexual hlgh and Lhen falllng asleep? More and
more men have Lhe same deslre for long lovemaklng and more pleasurable orgasms
for boLh of you
1he greaL news ls LhaL Lhls helghLand exLended lengLhof hls pleasure (whlch glves
her pleasure Loo) ls enLlrely posslble Lhrough Lhe secreLs and pracLlces of LanLrlc sex
?es men can make love for hours once Lhey know whaL Lo do Lhls chapLer wlll Lell
you how 8esL of all lL's noL a dlfflculL efforL for hlm buL a real pleasure for boLh of
you
146
Pow Long ls Pe Supposed Lo LasL?
Several dlmenslons have been used Lo deLermlne how soon ls Loo soon for a man Lo
reach hls peak or how long he should lasL before e[aculaLlng Conslder Lhe followlng
lamous 1930s sex researcher Alfred klnsey LhoughL Loo soon" was lasLlng only
Lwo mlnuLes
SLaLlsLlcs show LhaL abouL 73 percenL of men lasL beLween four and seven
mlnuLes
8ecause a woman needs abouL flfLeen mlnuLes Lo reach an exclLemenL level LhaL
Lakes a man only Lhree mlnuLes Lo reach he would need Lo delay hlmself flve
Llmes Lhe male average
1he Llmlng ls based on Lhe man's ablllLy Lo conLrol hls exclLemenL level noL an
acLual amounL of Llme
ls Lhe man (or hls parLner) upseL abouL hls performance? ls hls parLner saLlsfled
aL leasL half Lhe Llme? lf Lhe answers Lo Lhese quesLlons are no and yes respecLlvely
Lhere's no reason Lo worry
Pere's Lhe LanLrlc Lake on how long a man should lasL 8oLh Lhe man and hls parLner
should be saLlsfledand Lhey wlll be when he learns conLrol LssenLlally lL doesn'L
maLLer how long you have sex as long as you are channellng energy beLween you ln
a muLually saLlsfylng way 8uL lf you wanL Lo lasL longer you canand Lhere are more
[oys ln sLore for you lf you do so Acqulrlng Lhe skllls found ln Lhls chapLer wlll boosL
your selfesLeem sky hlgh and dellghL your parLner
and you can choose Lo come whenever you please!
When lL's All Cver 1oo lasL
lL's a complalnL so many women have as one woman
appearlng wlLh me on 1v sald An egg Lakes Lhree
mlnuLes why does my husband?" She was referrlng Lo
Lhe dlsappolnLmenL women feel when Lhe sex acL lasLs
only abouL Lhree mlnuLes When Lhe man reaches orgasm
so qulckly and Lhe woman ls lefL unsaLlsfled lL
has an effecL on boLh parLners LhaL can be hurLful Lo
Lhe relaLlonshlp
Per 8eacLlon Lo 1hreeMlnuLe
Sex
8emember LhaL women have a dlfferenL naLural sexual
response cycle Lhan menshe needs more Llme physlcally
Lo geL Lo Lhe same level of pleasure Women are
1anLra 1uLorlal
1radlLlonal 1aolsL bellef demands
semen reLenLlon clalmlng LhaL
spllllng sperm oLher Lhan for
havlng chlldren weakens Lhe
man's healLh and even provokes
anger Loward women 8eleases
are allowed once every Lhree
days ln sprlng Lwlce a monLh ln
summer and auLumn and noL aL
all ln wlnLer and only 3000 ln a
llfeLlme 8uL please don'L leL
LhaL you scare you!
147
ChapLer 12 Make Lovemaklng LasL and LasL and LasL
also sLereoLyplcally more emoLlonal abouL sexLhey wanL lovemaklng Lo lasL longer
because Lhey wanL Lhe lnLlmacy communlcaLlon and closeness boLh ln foreplay and
afLerplay (concepLs noL necessarlly conslsLenL wlLh LanLrlc sex because all of lovemaklng
ls Lhe maln acL!) lf Lhe bulldup and cool down are boLh cuL shorL as lL ls when
Lhe man reaches hls peak ln Lhree mlnuLes and Lhen wlLhdraws and falls asleep Lhe
woman can have many reacLlons LhaL are noL healLhy for her or Lhe relaLlonshlp
1he followlng llsL wlll help you evaluaLe your reacLlons Lo Lhe lengLh of Llme spenL
lovemaklng lck whaL besL descrlbes how you feel by puLLlng a checkmark nexL Lo
LhaL lLem ln Lhe ?es column Lhen Lhlnk of anoLher posslble way you can reacL and
flll lL ln Lhe column under Lhe lnsLead l Can leel 1hls Way column 1he ldea ls for
you Lo have an alLernaLlve way of reacLlng 8ead over your reacLlons and whaL you
have wrlLLen as new afflrmaLlons
Per 8eacLlon Lo Pow Long Lovemaklng LasLs
uo l leel ?es lnsLead l Can leel 1hls Way
lrusLraLed unfulfllled
resenLful?
Angry Loward my parLner?
ulslnLeresLed
(wlLhdraw from sex)?
8esponslble (llke l
don'L Lurn hlm on)?
Less confldenL (lose
selfesLeem)?
Abandoned and unloved?
Llke l'm Loo faL?
Llke l'm noL aLLracLlve?
Llke he's probably havlng
an affalr?
Pe's selflsh?
CLher
CLher
Pls 8eacLlon Lo 1hreeMlnuLe Sex
Some men and Lhelr parLners are okay wlLh a shorL sexual experlence Some women
may noL llke sex much and are relleved Lo geL lL over wlLh 1hls sadly cuLs off her poLenLlal
for pleasure and reveals deeper problems LhaL llkely sLem from chlldhood or
148
earller sexual experlences Powever lf you know your parLner wanLs Lo make love lasL
longer and you're wllllng Lo flnd ouL how Lo do Lhls be reassured LhaL Lhls ls posslble
Changes ln a relaLlonshlp happen mosL effecLlvely when boLh people are moLlvaLed
Lven lf men defend raLlonallze or [oke abouL qulckles" Lhey are ofLen unhappy
abouL noL lasLlng longer 1hey mlghL have fears lnhlblLlons and pasL hurLs LhaL geL
ln Lhe way (l'll Lalk more abouL Lhose and how Lo help heal Lhem ln ChapLer 17
Sexual Peallng Lo SeL ?ou lree") 1he man who comes Loo qulckly wonders Lo hlmself
WhaL's wrong wlLh me?" Pe feels cheaLed ouL of a beLLer experlence [usL as hls
parLner does Worse yeL he feels ouL of conLrol as hls body seems Lo Lake over leadlng
hlm qulckly from exclLemenL Lo e[aculaLlon
now lL's Lhe man's Lurn Lo flll ouL Lhe followlng checkllsL Lhls Llme focuslng on hls reacLlons
Lo Lhe lengLh of Llme spenL lovemaklng lck whaL besL descrlbes how you feel
by puLLlng a checkmark nexL Lo LhaL lLem ln Lhe ?es column Lhen Lhlnk of anoLher
posslble way you can reacL and flll lL under Lhe lnsLead l Can leel 1hls Way column
Pls 8eacLlons Lo Lovemaklng 1lmlng
uo l leel ?es lnsLead l Can leel 1hls Way
Llke l'm a bad lover?
Selflsh?
ulsgusLed wlLh myself?
lrusLraLed and angry?
uepressed?
Anxlous llke my parLner
wlll lose lnLeresL ln me?
l'm Lo blame?
My parLner ls Lo blame?
Llke l wanL Lo block lL ouL
(Lry noL Lo Lhlnk abouL lL)?
ulslnLeresLed
(wlLhdraw from sex)?
CLher
CLher
8evlew your llsL Come up wlLh alLernaLe ways you can handle Lhese reacLlons lor
example lnsLead of decldlng you're a bad lover be hopeful LhaL you can do someLhlng
abouL lL lnsLead of refuslng sex agaln purposefully declde Lo Lry Lhe exclLlng
149
and effecLlve Lechnlques l'll dlscuss here 1here ls no reason Lo suffer dlsappolnLmenL
ln sex any longer!
Compare whaL each of you sald ln your llsLs 1alk wlLh your parLner abouL your answers
Lo beLLer undersLand Lhose reacLlons 8evlew whaL you boLh wroLe ln Lhe column
abouL how you could reacL more poslLlvely
Why Men Come So lasL
?ou can'L always blame hlm for belng a LhreemlnuLe man" Men essenLlally Lraln
Lhemselves Lo respond qulckly 1hls sLems from chlldhood when a young man learns
Lo masLurbaLe qulckly so he won'L geL caughL by someone walklng ln on hlm ln Lhe
baLhroom or hls bedroom lf he was looklng aL sexy magazlnes or an xraLed vldeo ln
Lhe famlly vC8 he's even more ln a rushso hls naughLy" acL won'L be dlscovered
1hls geLdonequlck rouLlne perpeLuaLes even our compuLer age when he could geL
caughL checklng ouL sexy Web slLes
AnoLher reason men peak fasLfasLer Lhan womenls LhaL Lhey can Messages ln Lhe
male braln go qulckly Lo Lhe sexual organs and sperm ls released qulckly wlLh Lhe
conLracLlons of Lhe musculaLure Cnce Lhese behavlor paLLerns are esLabllshed Lhe
man has Lo be moLlvaLed Lo do Lhe pracLlces LhaL wlll help hlm lasL longer lL Lakes efforL
and a change ln bellefs 1hese lnclude overcomlng myLhs such as Lhe followlng
ConLrolllng e[aculaLlon ls noL posslble Wrong lL ls posslble!
Poldlng back e[aculaLlon ls dangerous Wrong ?ou won'L explode or blow
a gaskeL"
lf he lasLs a long Llme he won'L be able Lo repeaL Lhe good performance
Wrong Cf course he wlll!
lL's noL pleasurable for Lhe man Lo hold back Wrong 1he answer Lo Can l
sLlll have pleasure?" ls a resoundlng ?es!"
no LxpecLaLlons lease!
LxpecLaLlons are Lhe absoluLe rulnaLlon of a man's ablllLy Lo en[oy sex lf Lhe man
Lhlnks he has Lo lasL long hls body wlll be sure Lo saboLage hlm and he wlll e[aculaLe
qulckly LmoLlonally he wlll also cuL hlmself off from Lhe pleasure ouL of pressure
and resenLmenL abouL how he ls supposed Lo behave Men Lyplcally expecL LhaL Lhey
have Lo geL lL up qulck and keep lL up 1he more a man expecLs he has Lo have an
erecLlon Lhe harder lL wlll be Lo have one Lhe more he Lhlnks he has Lo lasL forever
Lhe qulcker he wlll come
130
L[aculaLlon and Crgasm Are ulfferenL
1he relaLlonshlp beLween e[aculaLlon and orgasm ls cruclal Lo how long a man lasLs ln
sex 8ead Lhe followlng Lwo sLaLemenLs and clrcle wheLher you Lhlnk Lhey are Lrue or
false
1rue or false? A man can e[aculaLe wlLhouL experlenclng
an orgasm
1rue or false? A man can have an orgasm wlLhouL
e[aculaLlng
8oLh are Lrue undersLandlng LhaL e[aculaLlon and orgasm
are Lwo separaLe funcLlons ls cruclal Lo Lhe dellghL
of LanLrlc sex A man can delay e[aculaLlon or noL
e[aculaLe aL all buL sLlll achleve orgasmand noL [usL
one orgasm buL many Men can have mulLlple
orgasms [usL llke women 1o undersLand Lhls one has
Lo undersLand Lhe physlology of Lhe man's body
1he mechanlsm of e[aculaLlon llke an erecLlon reflex
ls Lrlggered from Lhe splnal cord (Lhe sympaLheLlc
nervous sysLem) 1he penls responds Lo sLlmulaLlon by
sendlng a message Lo Lhe lumbar porLlon of Lhe splnal
cord (Lhe e[aculaLory cenLer) Lhrough Lhe nerves 1hls
1anLra 1ales
Mlck found one nlghL of pleasure so fulfllllng he shocked hlmself by admlLLlng l dldn'L
even have Lo e[aculaLe aL all!" lL happened when he was performlng oral sex on noreen
and she was sendlng energy down her body and ouL her cllLorls 1he energy was so sLrong
he felL lL shooL LhroughouL hls body Pe wondered Pow can l feel as good wlLhouL
e[aculaLlng as l feel when l do e[aculaLe?" Pe descrlbed Lo noreen l felL bolLs of elecLrlclLy
golng Lhrough my head" WlLhouL reallzlng lL Mlck was recelvlng noreen's energy
and allowlng Lhe energy Lo cycle Lhrough hlm and go lnLo hls crown chakra (Lhe reason
he felL Lhe bolLs ln hls head) 1he experlence was so powerful he dld noL need Lo e[aculaLe!
1here ls a place ln LanLrlc sex for
a qulckle" as long as Lhe couple
sLays consclous of whaL Lhey are
dolng Pave a qulckle lf you
have no more Llme before work
or geL Lhe urge before a dlnner
engagemenL as long as you boLh
feel connecLed and honored
131
Lrlggers conLracLlons of muscles ln Lhe lnLernal genlLal organs AlLhough lL all sounds
so auLomaLlc Lhe Llmlng of Lhe process can acLually be conLrolled consclously
1he SLages of Lhe Male Sexual 8esponse Cycle
1he LradlLlonal model of Lhe male sexual response ls composed of four sLages
LxclLemenL (lncrease ln muscle Lenslon and sex flush)
laLeau (vasocongesLlon pronounced muscle Lenslon lncreased resplraLlon)
Crgasm (reduced muscle conLrol lncreased hearL raLe lnvolunLary pelvlc
LhrusLlng)
8esoluLlon (reduced muscle Lenslon wlLhln flve mlnuLes loss of vasocongesLlon
hearL raLe and blood pressure reLurn Lo normal)
CLher Lheorles have added concepLs such as deslre buL none has Laken energy lnLo
accounL ln my model Lhe lnlLlal sLage ls one of aLLracLlon ln whlch energy ls belng
sLlmulaLed WlLh conLlnued lnLeracLlon Lhe sensaLlons bulld and are felL ln varlous
parLs of Lhe body and mlnd 1enslon rlses ln response Lo Lhe energy 1he energy
mounLs and surges Lhrough Lhe body causlng more general physlcal and emoLlonal
alerL uslng Lhe LanLrlc LransmuLaLlons properly (uslng breaLh Lo dlrecL Lhe energy)
causes an overall sensaLlon of boLh relaxaLlon and exclLemenL ln Lhe nexL cycle energy
can go Lo elLher hlgher or lower levels dependlng on how Lhe person and parLner
play wlLh Lhe energy 1he resoluLlon phase ls less abrupL Lhan ln LradlLlonal
models as Lhe energy can be moved lnLo many surges
1radlLlonal ConLrol 1acLlcs
1radlLlonal ways Lo help a man overcome premaLure e[aculaLlon have lncluded Lhe
followlng Lechnlques
SLopsLarL 1hls Lechnlque was popularlzed by Lhe famous sex LheraplsL and research
Leam of MasLers and !ohnson more Lhan 40 years ago buL ls sLlll effecLlve
1he man sLlmulaLes hlmself Lo Lhe polnL where he feels he wlll e[aculaLe
and Lhen sLops Lhe sLlmulaLlon When he feels more ln conLrol he sLarLs sLlmulaLlon
agaln
Squeeze When he feels Lhe urge Lo e[aculaLe he applles pressure on Lhe shafL of
Lhe llngam where Lhe shafL connecLs Lo Lhe head wlLh Lhe Lhumb on Lhe Lop and
Lhe foreflnger and mlddle flnger on Lhe underslde on elLher slde of Lhe bump LhaL
ls senslLlve (Lhe frenulum) When Lhe urge subsldes he resumes sLlmulaLlon
1he LesLlcle Lug AL Lhe polnL of no reLurn Lhe man pulls hls LesLlcles down
(genLly) Lo lnhlblL Lhe e[aculaLlon 1hls meLhod ls Lrlcky and poLenLlally dangerous
(don'L pull Loo hard!) so Lry Lhe oLhers flrsL please
132
1he man can do Lhese Lechnlques on hls own or hls parLner can help lL's besL lf he
learns on hls own whaL works besL for hlm and Lhen Leaches her Clve her preclse
cues (sounds movemenLs) abouL whaL Lo do
LcsLasy LssenLlals
Cne LradlLlonal Lechnlque Lo flnd Lhe polnL of no reLurn ls Lhe ladder ln whlch durlng
masLurbaLlon Lhe man pays aLLenLlon Lo hls level of exclLemenL as lf golng up and down
sLeps on a ladder Lo plnpolnL whlch sLep comes close Lo e[aculaLlon (as lf on a spllL
screen ln hls mlnd) Pe lmaglnes cllmblng a ladder looklng ahead and noL falllng off Lhe
Lop Whlle he (or hls parLner) does whaLever ls sLlmulaLlng he swlLches hls aLLenLlon from
Lhe sensaLlon Lo anoLher parL of hls body and asks Where am l now on Lhe ladder?"
When he ls close Lo Lhe Lop he sLops sLlmulaLlng unLll he goes back a few sLeps Lo Lhe
boLLom of Lhe ladder where he walLs unLll he ls calmer and Lhen sLarLs agaln
CerLaln alds Lo delay e[aculaLlon LhaL are noL compaLlble wlLh LanLrlc pracLlces (whlch
requlres belng Luned ln Lo every sensaLlon) lnclude loLlons LhaL desenslLlze sensaLlons
ln Lhe llngam devlces Lo Lrap blood ln Lhe penls or
purposefully dlsLracLlng LhoughLs (llke of baseball
scores or oLher nonsensual sub[ecLs)
Seallng Lhe enls" or Sexual
kung lu
1he spoL locaLed halfway beLween Lhe anal openlng
and Lhe base of Lhe scroLumcalled Lhe lnbeLween spoL
or mllllon dollar spoL"can be pressed Lo lnhlblL Lhe
flow of semen ouL of Lhe penls Look for lLs locaLlon
on Lhe perlneum as shown ln Lhe dlagram of Lhe
man's body ln ChapLer 3 rep ?our 8ody 1emple of
Love" 1o flnd lL feel for a sllghL lndenLaLlon where
your flnger seems Lo press lnLo a sofLer area and press
Lhls spoL aL Lhe momenL when you feel Lhe sensaLlon
8locks Lo 8llss
Some crlLlcs charge LhaL conLlnual
hlgh pressure on Lhe perlneum
can damage nerves and
blood vessels cruclal Lo sexual
funcLlonlng and warn LhaL ln[aculaLlon
(causlng Lhe semen Lo
flow back lnLo Lhe bladder) can
force bacLerla lnLo Lhe bladder
causlng an lnfecLlon
133
LhaL you are abouL Lo e[aculaLe uLLlng Lwo flngers behlnd your lndex flnger (for
more supporL) ls called Lhe flnger lock varlaLlons of Lhls pracLlce are called seallng Lhe
penls or sexual kung lu ln Chlnese
1anLrlc Sex versus CLher MeLhods of rolonglng
Lovemaklng
Cf course you can delay e[aculaLlon Lhrough Lhese LradlLlonal sex Lherapy meLhods
sex LheraplsLs have been Leachlng cerLaln e[aculaLlon delay meLhods for decades slnce
MasLers and !ohnson popularlzed Lhem more Lhan 40 years ago 1he sLopsLarL and
squeeze Lechnlques are effecLlve however Lhey can be even more effecLlve when you
add Lechnlques of LanLrlc sexuallLy whlle carrylng Lhem ouL 1he secreL encouraglng
Lhe man Lo focus on dlrecL and channel hls sexual energy
Consclous awareness of sexual energy when performlng any of Lhe LradlLlonal meLhods
of e[aculaLory conLrol ls lmporLanL ln LanLrlc pracLlce and makes Lhe man and hls
parLner more aLLuned Lo hls body's needs and responses ln LanLrlc pracLlce Lechnlques
for e[aculaLory conLrol lnclude breaLhlng exerclses and oLher speclflc acLlons
whlch l'll descrlbe a llLLle laLer ln Lhls chapLer
1he followlng Lable summarlzes Lhe several dlfferences beLween LradlLlonal sex Lherapy
Lechnlques for premaLure e[aculaLlon and LanLrlc sex Lechnlques
1radlLlonal Sex 1herapy versus 1anLrlc Sex
1radlLlonal Sex 1herapy 1anLrlc Sex
1echnlque uses mlnd conLrol such as lnslsLs on awareness of
ldenLlfylng grades of exclLemenL energy and dlrecLlng
and lmaglnlng sLeps on a ladder energy
adder Lo measure exclLemenL
level
8ecommended Advlses Lhe man noL Lo be on 1he man can be on Lop
poslLlons Lop buL raLher Lhe woman be Lo move energy more
on Lop so he can relax freely preferred poslLlon
ls yab yum wlLh female
ln male's lap
CommunlcaLlng Pe glves her feedback 1helr energeLlc connecwlLh
Lhe parLner Llon helps her sense
where he ls ln Lhe
sexual response cycle
Measurlng Squeeze or sLopsLarL Lralnlng Conslders measuremenL
success raLes ls 90 percenL effecLlve wlLhln conLrary Lo Lhe
10 weeks experlence of energy
134
1here are also slmllarlLles beLween LradlLlonal sex Lherapy Lechnlques and LanLrlc sex
Lechnlques 8oLh
Lmphaslze relaxaLlon
locus on en[oylng sensaLlons ln all parLs of Lhe body (called sensaLe focus ln LradlLlonal
sex Lherapy)
8ecommend pracLlces for Lhe llmp llngam such as sLufflng ln LradlLlonal sex
Lherapy (Lhe woman lnserLs Lhe nonerecL penls ln her vaglnal openlng and
LlghLens her muscles Lo hold lL Lhere) 1hls ls slmllar Lo second chakra connecLlng
or kareeza ln whlch Lhe man ls lnslde Lhe woman feellng Lhelr energy comlngllng
buL unconcerned wlLh how erecL he ls slnce energy can be LransmlLLed
regardless of Lhe erecLlon
1he 1ransmuLaLlon 8reaLh
1hls ls Lhe LanLrlc varlaLlon of Lhe sLopsLarLbuL a loL more fun! As soon as Lhe man
feels Lhe urge Lo e[aculaLe he draws up Lhe energy from hls llngam Lhrough hls splne
up hls chakras floodlng hls hearL Pe can do Lhls on hls own or wlLh a parLner 1he
clrculLs can vary accordlng Lo whaL you have pracLlced She can move her hand from
hls llngam Lo hls hearL sweeplng Lhe energy Lo hls hearL or she can charge lL even
more wlLh her own sexual energy by holdlng one hand on her yonl and sweeplng
Lhe oLher hand from hls llngam lnLo hls hearL and Lhen lnLo her yonl and ouL agaln
ln a conLlnuous cycle
Movlng hls own energy
from hls llngam Lo hls
hearL
As soon as she (or he) feels he ls aL Lhe polnL of no reLurn she can say 8reaLhe
sweeLhearL" or LeL's breaLhe LogeLher" or lmaglne my love golng lnLo your llngam
and your hearL and your love comlng ouL Lo me"
133
1lps on Pow She Can Pelp
lL can be LhreaLenlng for a man Lo ask hls parLner
Lo help hlm conLrol hls e[aculaLlon buL a parLner
can be very helpful Pere's whaL you boLh can do
Pe can Leach her abouL how e[aculaLlon and
male orgasm work and whaL lL feels llke for
menspeclflcally for hlm
Spend Llme LogeLher playlng docLor" and examlnlng
hls body CeL over any embarrassmenL
or shame abouL how you look or whaL
you wanL 1he man should leL her geL close
SlL down on Lhe bed wlLh plenLy of llghL so
you can boLh see
Show her how you respond ?es LhaL means
pleasurlng yourself ln fronL of her Men and
women wlll have dlfferlng reacLlon Lo Lhls
some are exclLed oLhers are embarrassed As
ln all LanLrlc pracLlce allow yourself Lo feel Lhese feellngs SomeLlmes Lalklng
abouL Lhem aloud can help you process Lhem so Lhey wlll clear
1he man should glve hls parLner cues and feedback ln movemenLs and sounds
even lf he Lhlnks she already knows needs can change over Llme so don'L make
your parLner guess
Pelplng hlm move sexual
energy Lo hls hearL
LcsLasy LssenLlals
1he more a man LhrusLs vlgorously
Lhe more llkely he ls Lo
feel Lhe urge Lo come A good
soluLlon Whlle keeplng Lhe
llngam ln Lhe yonl slL up ln yab
yum and breaLhe LogeLher 1he
change ln poslLlon wlll quleL
down Lhe energy buL sLlll keep lL
flowlng
136
She should be enLhuslasLlc abouL dlscoverles
and appreclaLlve of hls courage ln reveallng
hlmself
She should encourage hlm LhaL lL ls posslble for
hlm Lo have conLrol
SLay wlLh each oLher energeLlcally 1hls helps
her know Lhe level of hls exclLemenL and when
he mlghL be reachlng hls polnL of no reLurn
never crlLlclze lf he e[aculaLes even lf she has
noL reached her peak
8e careful noL Lo pressure hlm Lo come or noL Lo
come Always be senslLlve Lo hls needs and
where hls energy ls aL
lf Pe L[aculaLes 8efore She
ls 8eady
lf you are pracLlclng Lhe Lechnlques l have been descrlblng
lL ls more llkely LhaL you wlll be harmonlzlng
your energy so well LhaL you are able Lo be aL Lhe same polnL aL Lhe same Llme ofLen
1hls makes lL more llkely LhaL you wlll reach LhaL experlence LhaL many couples
wanLslmulLaneous orgasm Powever don'L despalr lf Lhere are Llmes when you are
ouL of Lune ln your energles or lf he e[aculaLes before she ls ready
lf LhaL happens avold all Lhe Lraps you fllled ouL ln Lhe earller checkllsLs ln Lhls chapLer
such as crlLlclzlng feellng llke a fallure or LhaL you are noL rlghL for each oLher
8emember LhaL Lhere ls always anoLher Llme for lovemaklng and LhaL noL each experlence
ls golng Lo be Lhe ulLlmaLeeven Lhough you are aLLempLlng Lhese new Lechnlques
lf Lhlngs don'L go exacLly as you wlshed or planned rely on anoLher prlnclple
of LanLrlc sex whaLever happens aL LhaL Llme ls rlghL Lo happen [usL respecL where
Lhe energy goes
8emember Lhe LanLrlc sex rule
Always ask permlsslon" 1hls applles
equally when she ls approachlng
hlm especlally
because we assume LhaL men
would agree Lo anyLhlng abouL
sex Ask lf he wanLs Lo move hls
sexual energy raLher Lhan assumlng
he does and Lelllng hlm Lo
breaLh or rushlng Lo Louch hls
body on places LhaL ald such
delay
137
A man's e[aculaLlon ls a physlcal acL LhaL ls separaLe from Lhe emoLlonal experlence
of orgasm a dlsLlncLlon LhaL makes lL posslble for men Lo delay hls e[aculaLlon
buL sLlll have pleasure
uelaylng e[aculaLlon ls a maLLer of cholce such acLs ln LanLrlc sex pracLlce can
lead Lo exLended perlods and lnLenslLy of pleasure
A man can use several meLhods Lo delay e[aculaLlon or Leach hls parLner Lo
help hlm do Lhls so LhaL he can lasL as long as he wanLs and e[aculaLe when
he wanLs Lo
8elng senslLlve Lo your energy and purposefully dlrecLlng lL wlLhln yourself or
cycllng lL Lhrough your parLner ls one of Lhe mosL exclLlng and saLlsfylng ways
Lo make lovemaklng lasL as long as you wanL

ChapLer 13
A new vlew
of Love Sex
and Crgasm
1he 8lg 11C
ln 1hls ChapLer
Pow Lo approach love sex and orgasm ln a new way
new paLLerns of sexual arousal
new orgasms posslble Lhrough LanLrlc sex lncludlng Lhe 11C
uncoverlng secreL places of exclLemenL
ConnecLlng sound Lo movemenL Lo ralse sexual energy
l've been Lalklng abouL LanLrlc sex LhroughouL Lhls book buL noLlce Lhe emphasls ls
always on sex energy Lo empower love 1hls ls a new vlew of love 1anLra also requlres
a new vlew of sex Sex ls no longer slmply an acL nor ls lL a performance lnsLead lL ls
a splrlLual LransformaLlon ConslsLenL wlLh Lhls Lhe LanLrlc LransformaLlon orgasm (11C)
ls even beLLer Lhan LhaL 8lg C" you've been sLrlvlng for
ln Lhls chapLer you'll learn abouL Lhe dlfferenL klnds of cosmlc experlences lncludlng
orgasm LhaL you can have ln LanLrlc sex ?ou'll also learn some exerclses Lo spark your
deslre and move Loward Lhose hlgher sLaLes As lf l weren'L already challenglng you Lo
shlfL your perspecLlve abouL relaLlonshlps here's yeL anoLher sLep l lnvlLe you Lo Lake
a new vlew of sex and orgasm
160
WhaL's Love CoL Lo uo wlLh lL?
1he answer ls everyLhlng! ln my many lecLures abouL sex Lo dlverse groups even
when dlscusslng Lhe laLesL Lechnlques or Lhe hoLLesL new Lrends l always menLlon
LhaL Lhe underlylng message ls really abouL how Lhe
sex acL lLself generaLes lovefor yourself your parLner
and even Lhe world
AlLhough Lhls book ls abouL LanLrlc sex lL really ls
abouL harnesslng sexual energy Lo empower your love
for yourself and everyLhlng around you Conslder
yourself as Lhe belovedreflecLed ln everyLhlng
1anLra Leachers Charles Mulr and hls wlfe Carollne express
Lhls concepL perfecLly as consclous love (Lhe LlLle
of Lhelr popular workshops and book 1anLra 1he ArL
of Consclous Lovlng see Appendlx 8 Workshops Web
SlLes 1eachers and 1anLra CommunlLles") 1hls means
maklng love wlLh keen awareness abouL whaL you are
dolngand learnlng Lo honor each oLher as beloveds
1anLrlc sex allows an expanded vlew of whaL sex ls
Lhe naLure of Lhe sexual response cycles and whaL's
posslble ln orgasm
A new vlew of Crgasm and Lhe Sexual
8esponse Cycle
l remember Lhe early days of sex Lherapy (only a quarLer of a cenLury ago!) when sex
experLs argued LhaL Lhere were Lwo Lypes of female orgasm Lhe cllLoral and Lhe vaglnal
orlglnaLlng from sLlmulaLlon of Lhose Lwo parLs of Lhe women's genlLalla Cver
Llme professlonals came Lo recognlze a Lhlrd Lype called blended because alLhough a
woman's orgasm ls Lrlggered by sLlmulaLlon of Lhe cllLorls Lhe sensaLlon can also be
exLended lnLo deeper lnLernal areas or can sLarL deeper and spread Lo oLher genlLal
areas
1radlLlonal vlews of orgasm for men were even more llmlLed Lhe one qulck release
More modern vlews revealed LhaL Lhe processes of e[aculaLlon and orgasm ln men are
ln facL separaLe as l descrlbed ln Lhe prevlous chapLer Crgasm for men ls Lhe psychologlcal
experlence of pleasure much llke for women e[aculaLlon ls Lhe release of
sperm 1hls opens many posslblllLles of sexual response and pleasure for men 1he
pracLlces of LanLrlc sex reveal even more Lhrllls for boLh sexes
Cver Llme we are lncreaslngly aware LhaL Lhere are more Lypes of orgasms based on
Lhe locaLlons Llmlng and lnLenslLy of Lhe experlence 1hls ls Lrue for men as well as
women
1anLra 1uLorlal
1anLrlc sex energy ls harnessed
lnLo a force for love Women
have always bemoaned uslng sex
Lo geL love lronlcally LanLrlc sex
energy ls an adapLaLlon on LhaL
Lheme Sexual energy ls used Lo
lnsplre creaLe and expand love
161
ChapLer 13 A new vlew of Love Sex and Crgasm 1he 8lg 11C
noL only are Lhere many Lypes of orgasm buL l have posLulaLed LhaL Lhere are several
dlrecLlons of expresslon of Lhe energy ouLward and lnward 8oLh are powerful can
lead Lo sLaLes of bllss and can be expressed alone or wlLh a parLner 1hey are dlfferenL
ln LhaL
1he ouLward orgasm can be wlld and unlnhlblLed as you leL ouL emoLlons or
scream and move vlgorously
1he lnward orgasm can be quleL and subLle however lL can release as much energy
and reveal as much feellng as a more acLlve response 1houghLs are powerful
enough Lo Lrlgger Lhese responses lmaglne lnhallng a ball of energy from
your sexual organs up Lhrough your body and back down agaln ?ou can experlence
quleL lnward orgasms as exploslons LhaL Lake place subLly
1radlLlonal vlews of sex also posed four progresslve
cycles exclLemenL plaLeau orgasm and resoluLlon
Powever Lhe resulLs of LanLrlc pracLlce prove
dlfferenL ?ou can flucLuaLe wlLhln Lhese sLages and
sLay ln Lhese sLages for exLended perlods of Llme
ln facL Lhe sky's Lhe llmlL as far as how hlgh you
can go
noLlce Lhe Lhree couples ln Lhe followlng flgure
1he couple on Lhe boLLom llne are bulldlng Lhelr
sexual energy gradually 1he mlddle couple are
generaLlng more sexual energy and bulldlng more
qulckly 1he couple on Lhe Lop are havlng sLrong
spurLs of sexual energy and Lhen resLlng (or raLher
nesLlng as you see Lhe blrds ln Lhe flgure dolng!)
1he flgures are based on LanLrlc pracLlces of couples
ln lovemaklng LhaL are descrlbed laLer ln Lhls chapLer 8y LransmuLlng Lhelr sexual
energy durlng Lhelr lovemaklng aL dlfferenL lnLervals and Llmes Lhey blasL off or
come down Lo earLh as Lhey wanLLogeLher!
MosL couples Lhlnk Lhey have Lo keep aL lL Lo lncrease Lhe lnLenslLy of Lhelr arousal
?ou can add more charge by relaxlng lnLo a sexual quleL place" and Lhen dolng a flre
breaLh (qulck nosLrll breaLhlng ln and ouL) for even more lnLense bulldup l recommend
alLernaLlng your energy ln Lhese waysLhe process susLalns arousal and also
brlngs you Lo hlgher sLaLes of pleasure mulLlple orgasms and an expanded sense of
wellbelng so LhaL you can conLrol your sexuallLy and yourself!
l am always asked abouL how Lo have Lhe besL orgasms (and have spenL years Leachlng
women how Lo so Lhls) so here's a look aL Lhe dlfferenL klnds of wonderful orgasmlc
experlences posslble wlLh LanLrlc sex
8emember LhaL everyone ls lndlvldual
ln hls or her lnLenslLy and
varleLy and selfexpresslon
AppreclaLe your lndlvlduallLy and
allow responses Lo emerge from
all parLs of your body
162
1he Cosmorgasm
1he cosmorgasm ls Lhe orgasm LhaL exLends ouL lnLo Lhe unlverse or Lhe cosmos lL
happens when you alone or Lhe Lwo of you bulld your energy wlLhln yourself and
Lhen when you are fully charged and grounded exLend your energy ouL Lhe Lop of
your head Lhrough your crown chakra lnLo Lhe alr and sky above
1he MegaCrgasm
1he megaorgasm llke Lhe Lnerglzer 8unny keeps
golng and golng and golng lL conLlnues ln an upward
dlrecLlon showlng lncreaslng exclLemenL wlLh small
valleys where you llnger ln Lhe good feellng buL Lhen
spurL agaln Lo an even hlgher level of exclLemenL and
pleasure lollow Lhe blrds ln Lhe prevlous flgure Lo see
how Lhe couple on Lhe Lop llne are havlng a megaorgasm
Lhey keep golng upward for a long Llme Laklng
a few resLs
1he Clearlng Crgasm
1he clearlng orgasm ls unleashed from a blg release of
emoLlons raLher Lhan dlrecL sexual conLacLand can
be [usL as powerful 1hls blg release of Lenslon can
clear ouL sLuck emoLlons 8ecause of Lhls Lhe release
can sound palnful wlLh screams and walls 1hese reacLlons mlghL frlghLen a parLner
(and wlll be descrlbed more ln ChapLer 17 Sexual Peallng Lo SeL ?ou lree") buL
such releases should be welcomed as a slgn of freelng Lhe soul body and mlnd AfLer
Couples rldlng dlfferenL
LanLrlc waves Lo bllss
8locks Lo 8llss
Whenever you send energy ouL
your crown chakra for cosmlc orgasms
connecLlng beyond your
physlcal body you have Lo be
sure you are noL Lhrowlng lL
away" or loslng yourself" ?ou
musL cycle Lhe energy fully and
ground lL flrsL wlLhln yourself
163
such an orgasm you can feel spenL exhausLed
and dralned however Lhe experlence ls worLh lL
because of Lhe pleasure lL brlngsand Lhe pleasure
lL frees you Lo experlence
8eachlng MulLlple and
SlmulLaneous Crgasms
1he secreL Lo mulLlple orgasms lles ln conLrolllng
Lhe level of your exclLemenL Lhrough your breaLh
and cycllng your sexual energy 1hls ls slmllar Lo
whaL l descrlbed ln Lhe prevlous chapLer on how
men can conLrol Lhelr release Lo make lovemaklng
lasL longer When you geL Lo one of your peaks
you boLh can do a LransmuLaLlon breaLh (drawlng
Lhe energy up from your genlLals) aL Lhe same
Llme 8emlnd each oLher by saylng lL aloud LeL's
breaLhe now!" uo Lhls Lwlce and even Lhree Llmes
bulldlng your exclLemenL
LcsLasy LssenLlals
Pollywood's classlc porLrayal of a
woman's orgasm was Meg 8yan's
nolsy lmlLaLlon ln Lhe movle
When Parry MeL Sally My favorlLe
ls Lhe scene ln Lhe fllm
Cocoon ln whlch 1awhnee Welch
(playlng an allen) LransmlLs powerful
orgasmlc energy across a
pool Lo SLeve CuLenberg
1anLra 1uLorlal
Accordlng Lo anclenL LasLern LradlLlon Lhe male ls expecLed Lo brlng Lhe woman Lo nlne
levels of orgasm rogresslvely Lhe woman slghs and breaLhes heavlly offers Longue klsslng
grasps Lhe man wlLh her muscles has vaglnal secreLlons and spasms feels Lhe urge Lo blLe
undulaLes llke a snake grabs Lhe man furLlvely deslres Lo blLe more vlgorously surrenders
and collapses Modern vlews and some LanLra Leachers polnL ouL LhaL Lhe blLlng response ls
noL necessary and mlghL occur ln cases ln whlch women have more unresolved aggresslon
1he 1anLrlc Wave
1he LanLrlc orgasm ls an undulaLlon LhaL ls shaped llke a wave 1he body flows llke a
dolphln moves Lhrough waLer ln smooLh moLlons up and down ln naLural curves
LhaL keep comlng and comlng
164
1he SLock MarkeL Crgasm
8anklng on a qulppy analogy of Lhe sexual response
cycle and cycles ln Lhe sLock markeL (men's erecLlons
go down when Lhe uow dlps!) Callfornla sexologlsL
Ava Cadell creaLed a new lovemaklng sysLem lL comblnes
sexual Lechnlques such as eroLlc Lalk oral sex C
spoL sLlmulaLlon and lnLercourse (ln varlous poslLlons)
for men comblned wlLh sensual Lechnlques such as
synchronlzed breaLhlng body massage love Loys and
Lhe venus 8uLLerfly" for women She calls lL Lhe sLock
markeL orgasm (also Lhe LlLle of her book eLers
ubllshlng 1999) because Lhere are seven peaks of sexual
exclLemenL and Lhen seven dlps of sensuallLy
malnLalnlng a level of arousal for boLh parLners
1he proflL LhaL couples geL from Lhelr lnvesLmenL ls mulLlple orgasms for boLh people
once he learns how Lo separaLe hls orgasm from e[aculaLlon Says Cadell 1he besL
lovers are Lhose who are longLerm lnvesLors raLher Lhan Lhose who are addlcLed Lo
qulckles"
Pow Lo Pave Lhe 8lg 11C
1he 8lg 11CLanLrlc LransformaLlve orgasmcomes from cycllng sexual energy
uslng all Lhe exerclses l've Lold you abouL up Lo now (and more Lo come ln laLer chapLers)
Slnce Lhe Llme l developed Lhls Lechnlque l have LaughL lL Lo many men and
women wlLh greaL resulLs 1he process lncludes Lhe ways Lo amp up or damp down
your energy (as descrlbed ln ChapLer 6) breaLhlng paLLerns (as ln ChapLer 3) and
LcsLasy LssenLlals
valley orgasms do noL refer Lo
valley glrls buL Lo conLlnuous orgasms
LhaL exLend Lhrough Lhe
Llme ln beLween your peaks
1he LanLrlc wave of bllss
163
many oLher Lechnlques l am Leachlng you abouL ln Lhls book lncludlng ways Lo play
and have fun (because l Lhlnk lovlng should be abouL fun!) All of Lhese help you respond
freely and connecL wlLh love and a beloved
1aklng Sex urlve Lo a new Level
A pervaslve problem for couples Loday ls complalnLs abouL sex drlve Lhls ceases Lo be
a problem when you follow Lhe LanLrlc paLh lL's all abouL bulldlng peaks of sexual exclLemenL
buL noL leavlng lL Lhere Cnce you goL Lhe energy golng Lhe pracLlces lnvlLe
you Lo move lL 1hls process ls called LransmuLlng Lhe sexual energy (a process l refer
Lo ofLen ln Lhls book and one l Leach exLenslvely ln Lhe workshops l run because lL ls
especlally effecLlve ln connecLlng love energy Lo sex)
1he followlng exerclses show you how Lo do LhaL ?ou can do any of Lhese exerclses
by yourself or wlLh a parLner When you do Lhem wlLh a parLner lL's a good ldea Lo
face each oLher slL knee Lo knee or ln Lhe more lnLlmaLe classlc yab yum poslLlon
wlLh one of you ln Lhe oLher's lap
1he Shlva ShakLl Mudra
Cne of my favorlLe exerclses ls called Lhe Shlva ShakLl mudra lL connecLs energy from
Lhe earLh and sky brlnglng lL lnward Lo Lhe hearL area Lhen dlrecLlng lL ouLward Lo a
parLner or Lo Lhe world ?ou can also add words Lo Lhe exerclse
Pere's how lL's done SLand wlLh feeL shoulder wldLh aparL and knees sllghLly benL
1ake several deep breaLhs Cn Lhe lnhale sweep your arms up from Lhe earLh scooplng
up energy from MoLher LarLh and brlng Lhe energy lnLo your hearL area leel Lhe
warmLh securlLy and love of earLh energy golng ln Lo your hearL Lxhale lnhale
agaln Lhls Llme reachlng up Lo Lhe sky and gaLherlng energy from laLher Sky Sweep
your arms down crosslng your hands over each oLher as you pass your face and lnLo
your hearL area leel Lhe energy of enllghLenmenL and vlslon golng ln Lo your hearL
1hls exerclse ls called Shlva ShakLl mudra because lL connecLs Lhe MoLher LarLh/female
ShakLl energy wlLh Lhe laLher Sky/male Shlva energy lL's a good exerclse Lo do
when you are Llred Lo glve you more energy ln general
varlaLlons on Lhe Shlva ShakLl Mudra
1o do Lhls wlLh a parLner sLand faclng each oLher AfLer brlnglng Lhe energy lnLo your
hearL as descrlbed ln Lhe prevlous exerclse above exhale and exLend your arms and
hands ouL Loward each oLher Cn Lhe nexL round Lhe Lwo of you can exLend your
arms and hands ouL Lo your sldes sendlng your collecLed love energy ouL Lo oLhers or
Lo Lhe world ln general
166
Make up your own dedlcaLlon and say words abouL your blesslngs whlle dolng Lhls
exerclse lor example say l brlng all Lhe love of MoLher LarLh up lnLo my hearL and
send lL ouL Lo you my beloved and l brlng down from Lhe sky all Lhe lnsplraLlon and
vlslon and vasLness of Lhe unlversal love and send lL lnLo you my beloved" When
exLendlng your arms ouL sldeways you can make a dedlcaLlon l send all collecLed
love energy ouL Lo Lhe world Lo heal all Lhose who are sufferlng or who are noL as forLunaLe
Lo feel Lhe love we have so LhaL Lhey may share ln our bllss"
ConnecLlng Lhe Sexual Lnergy Lo CLher Lnergy
CenLers
1hrough Lhe breaLh sound and movemenLs you can send sexual energy Lo oLher
parLs of Lhe body Lo empower Lhem Pere are some exerclses Lo do LhaL
uslng MovemenLs Lo Send Sexual Lnergy
uL on muslc wlLh a powerful drumbeaL and sway your hlps Lo Lhe muslc SLarL wlLh
sldeLoslde movemenLs Lhen forward and backward and Lhen clrcular moLlons
uslng Sound Lo 1ransmuLe Muslc Lnergy
8emember LhaL all sounds are assoclaLed wlLh dlfferenL energy cenLers or chakras
?ou can send your pooled sexual energy Lo dlfferenL energy cenLers by chanLlng Lhe
sound of Lhe sexual cenLer and Lhen connecLlng lL Lo Lhe sound of any of Lhe oLher
chakras ln Lhe followlng exerclse breaLhe ln Lhrough your nose and on Lhe exhale
open your mouLh and leL Lhe sound come ouL Allow Lhe breaLh Lo pool ln your belly
and Lhen exhale llke a bellows Lo geL Lhe maxlmum energy from Lhe sound
1he Shlva ShakLl mudra
brlnglng sLrengLh and
vlslon lnLo your love
geLLlng help from Lhe
earLh and sky
167
1he oooahhh exerclse Cpenlng Lhe hearL
1hls ls anoLher favorlLe exerclse boLh Lo do
and Lo Leach Ahhh" ls Lhe sound of Lhe
hearL cenLer ConnecLlng Lhe sex and hearL
cenLer ls one of Lhe prlmary Lechnlques of
LanLra use lL Lo prepare yourselves for lovemaklng
8ulld Lhe energy ln Lhe sex cenLer
and feel lL bolLlng Lhrough your body as you
LhrusL Lhe pelvls forward saylng ooo"
(soundlng llke Lhe ou" ln Lhe word you"
buL wlLh a more rounded mouLh) Cn Lhe lnhale
arch your back as you say ahhh" 1he
chesL wlll LhrusL forward Lhe acLlon lLself
openlng Lhe hearL cenLer ln addlLlon Lhe
ahhh" sound lLself opens Lhe hearL uo Lhls
repeaLedly as Lhe flow of Lhese Lwo sounds
and Lhe movemenLs bulld Lhey wlll Lake you
on Lhelr own rlde afLer a whlle wlLhouL any
efforL on your parL
1anLra 1uLorlal
1he oooahhh exerclse ls parLlcularly
lmporLanL for men who
ofLen separaLe sex and love
ChanLlng Lhese Lwo sounds brlngs
sexual energy up Lo Lhe hearL
cenLer maklng a man more open
Lo feellng hls love energy and
more able Lo creaLe an emoLlonal
connecLlon wlLh hls parLner
lL ls maglcal how dolng Lhls
exerclse can openand melLa
man's hearL
1he oooahhh exerclse
1he oooehhh exerclse lreelng Lhe LhroaL uo Lhls exerclse Lhe same way you
would Lhe prevlous one buL use Lhe words oooehhh" Sendlng sex energy Lo
Lhe LhroaL chakra ls also a ma[or parL of LanLrlc sex so you can express yourself
freely 1oo many womenand men Looare lnhlblLed abouL speaklng up aL all
168
parLlcularly abouL maklng sounds durlng sex l
have heard so many men complaln LhaL women
lle Loo quleLly durlng sex and how Lhey wlsh
women would Lalk dlrLy" (use raunchy words)
whlch many women conslder unreflned or demeanlng
?eL free expresslon durlng an eroLlc
encounLer ls essenLlal for ecsLaLlc freedom
of sex
1he ooouhhh exerclse Croundlng more securlLy
uo Lhls exerclse Lhe same way you
would Lhe oooahhh exerclse buL use Lhe words
ooouhhh" Move energy generaLed by pelvlc
LhrusLs from your sex cenLer lnLo your base
chakra or anal area As you emlL Lhe sound
uhhh" feel yourself geLLlng more and more
rooLed lnLo Lhe ground llke a Lree 1hls groundlng
sLops dlsLracLlng LhoughLs and worrles LhaL
lnvarlably lnLrude ln your lnLlmaLe lnLeracLlon
Sound healer karln Schelde Leaches workshops on freelng up Lhe volce Lvery
sound and every parL of Lhe body has a vlbraLlonal energy LhaL has Lremendous
heallng capaclLy" says Schelde We [usL need Lo know LhaL lL's safe Lo be
heard" ln Schelde's sound medlLaLlons" parLlclpanLs make sounds Lo express
and release whaLever feellngs Lhey have wlLhouL [udgmenL LeL Lhe feellngs
flow Lhrough you llke a rlver" she lnsLrucLs Lo free your expresslon Lo heal buL
also Lo experlence [oy"
1he sex and LhroaL cenLers are
closely connecLed once you
open Lhe LhroaL Lo make nolses
ln sex you'll be surprlsed how
much more responslve you are
sexually l'll say more abouL Lhls
ln ChapLer 18 Sex Song and
vldeoLape"
1anLra 1uLorlal
8esearchers aL Lhe recenL World Congress of Sexology ln arls presenLed phoLographs of
whaL was happenlng lnslde Lhe vaglna durlng lnLercourse and correspondlng measuremenLs
of exclLemenL levels 1he resulLs showed LhaL ln dlfferenL poslLlons ln lnLercourse
Lhe penls Louched varlous areas of Lhe women's lnLernal genlLalla all of whlch reglsLered
slgns of sLlmulaLlon CLher research shows Lhese physlcal lndlcaLlons of exclLemenL can
occur even lf Lhe woman herself does noL express Lhe same level of exclLemenL as Lhe
measures lndlcaLe
169
Where uo ?ou leel Lhe 8lg C? AlphabeL Crgasms
More modern vlews of orgasm have expanded noL only Lhe Lypes of orgasm buL also
Lhe places LhaL Lhose dellclous sensaLlons occur 1here are spoLs Lo cover many leLLers
of Lhe alphabeL used as shorLcuLs for Lhe names of Lhese responses
1he C SpoL
1he C spoL ls acLually an area on Lhe fronL wall of
Lhe vaglna one Lhlrd of Lhe way up AlLhough
sLlmulaLlng aL flrsL some women feel dlscomforL ln
Lhe form of numbness paln or Lhe urge Lo urlnaLe
Powever many women feel lnLense pleasure and
can even release female e[aculaLe
1he x SpoL
1hls spoL ls deep ln Lhe vaglna around Lhe cervlx
AlLhough lL does noL have many nerves when
sLlmulaLed lL can Lug on Lhe lnLernal walls and
cause radlaLlng sensaLlons 1aolsL vlews of Lhe orgasm
pose LhaL Lhe Llp of Lhe penls and Lhe cervlcal
area boLh correspond Lo Lhe hearL maklng lL
undersLandable LhaL Lhls area would be pleasurable
Lo Lhe woman Powever lL ls also easlly sLlmulaLed
manually wlLh Lhe man lnserLlng several flngers
and enclrcllng Lhe cervlx aL Lhe end of Lhe vaglnal
canal
1he AlL Zone
1he anLerlor fornlx erogenous (AlL) zone ls Lhe area
from Lhe end of Lhe vaglnal canal downward abouL
Lwo Lhlrds Lo Lhe openlng As wlLh oLher areas
some women mlghL flnd Lhls pleasurable oLhers
do noL
1he lL Zone
1he posLerlor fornlx zone (lZ) ls slmllar Lo LhaL descrlbed ln Lhe prevlous secLlon buL
on Lhe opposlLe wall
1anLra 1uLorlal
1he mosL recenL exLenslve research
on a woman's C spoL or
sacred area ls by Cary Schubach
Pe posLs lnformaLlon on hls Web
slLe aL wwwuocLorCcom
8locks Lo 8llss
Some women flnd LhaL sLlmulaLlng
Lhe cervlcal area ls palnful
especlally durlng Lhelr mensLrual
and hormonal cycles
170
1anLra 1ales
AfLer learnlng LanLrlc sex nancy found l can have an orgasm ln my wrlsL! 1he energy
[usL explodes whenever Mlchael Louches me wherever he Louches me lL's llke my body ls
on flre l can send Lhe breaLh anywhere ln my body almosL on demand and make Lhose
cells come allve As soon as he Louches me Lhere lL's llke Lhe llghL goes on and he can
feel Lhe heaL Loo
1he Anywhereln?our8ody Crgasm
1hls ls probably Lhe besL news of all 8y pracLlclng LanLrlc sex every cell ln Lhe body
can be orgasmlc 1he orgasm does noL [usL happen ln Lhe genlLals you can send lL
anywhere ln Lhe body and make lL accesslble wlLhln seconds
racLlclng LanLrlc sex requlres a new vlew of sex ln whlch sex ls a Lransmlsslon
of energy beLween Lhe couple
Crgasm llke sex ln general can be a new Lype of experlence Lhrough LanLrlc
pracLlce ln whlch energy LhaL ls pooled ln Lhe sex cenLer ls senL Lhrough Lhe
breaLh Lo oLher parLs of Lhe body
1here are many places on Lhe body and lnslde Lhe woman's genlLalla LhaL can
be experlenced as orgasmlc
1hrough LanLrlc pracLlces any couple can achleve Lhese hlgh sLaLes of sexual
ecsLasy ln addlLlon Lo a mlxLure of physlcal emoLlonal and splrlLual bllss lor
example connecLlng sound Lo movemenLs helps dlrecL energy and helghLens
sensaLlon
ChapLer 14
CeLLlng llL
1ogeLher for
1anLrlc Sex
ln 1hls ChapLer
Pow exerclslng LogeLher can pump love muscles
?oga poses Lo do LogeLher
WorkouLs LhaL also work your sex energy
Pow emoLlonal lssues are worked Lhrough ln workouLs
ln ChapLer 3 rep ?our 8ody 1emple of Love" l Lold you abouL Lhe lmporLanL role
LhaL belng physlcally flL plays ln pleasurable sex ?our body ls your Lemple of love
and now you're ready Lo share lL wlLh your parLner
8evlew Lhe sLeps ln ChapLer 3 and do Lhem wlLh your parLner ln Lhls chapLer you'll
learn more physlcal rouLlnes and movemenLs you can do LogeLher Lo honor your body
Lemplesand Lo have some fun!
1he lmporLance of hyslcal AcLlvlLy 1ogeLher
8esearch proves exerclse ls an aphrodlslac ln one naLlonal survey 8 ouL of 10 exerclsers
credlLed Lhelr workouLs wlLh boosLlng selfconfldence 4 ln 10 felL more sexual
arousal and 3 ln 10 made love more ofLen hyslcal acLlvlLy ls energlzlng (lmporLanL
for sex) forces you Lo focus on Lhe body (helghLenlng sensual awareness) bullds
sLrengLh and endurance (for sexual poslLlons and sLaylng power) and releases pleasure
chemlcals ln Lhe braln
172
Worklng ouL wlLh your lover has lmmedlaLe payoffs ?our adrenallne ls already pumplng
and you're already feellng beLLer abouL yourself Chemlcals wlll flow ln your body
such as Lhe love chemlcal endorphln and Lhe cuddle
chemlcal oxyLocln prepplng you for pleasure ln love
and sex
1he Love Muscle Lxerclses for
Lhe Man and Lhe Woman
!usL as l Lalked earller ln Lhls book abouL Lhe lmporLance
of conLracLlng and exerclslng your pelvlc muscles
on your own you can also do Lhls LogeLher SlL
faclng each oLher look deeply lnLo each oLher's eyes
and breaLhe ln and ouL rapldly Lhrough your nose (as
ln Lhe flre breaLh see ChapLer 3 Splnnlng ?our
Wheels and 8reaLhlng Lo LcsLasy")
Pold your breaLh and pulse your pelvlc muscles 10
Llmes 8elax Lhe muscles and do Lhe flre breaLh agaln
8epeaL several Llmes 8emember LhaL you boLh have
more Lhan one seL of pelvlc muscles one seL ls around
your ureLhral openlng and anoLher seL ls around your
anal openlng As you do Lhls LogeLher don'L worry abouL Lechnlque unLll you geL Lhe
hang of lL Lhen you can lnhale aL Lhe same Llme hold your breaLh and pulse your
muscles ln unlson
ulslng C muscles whlle you're breaLhlng LogeLher does a loL Lo Lurn you on Lo each
oLher lL synchronlzes your energy more powerfully Lhan [usL breaLhlng LogeLher and
sends supercharged sexual energy up your splne whlch you Lhen can cycle lnLo each
oLher uellberaLely knowlng LhaL you are dolng Lhls ln Lhe same momenLum makes
you feel very connecLed Lo each oLher addlng lnLlmacy Lo your exclLemenL
arLner elvlc 1hrusLs
elvlc moLlons are Lhe mosL powerful generaLor of sexual energy l've already emphaslzed
LhaL Lhey are lmporLanL exerclses Lo do on your own now you're ready Lo do
Lhem wlLh a parLner uL on some muslc LhaL geLs your blood golng SLand slde Lo slde
or beLLer yeL faclng each oLher (LaLer you can leL loose and move around any way
you wanL) ?ou can sLarL from a sLandlng poslLlon gradually LhrusLlng aL lower
helghLs unLll you're LhrusLlng whlle lylng down on your back on Lhe bed or floor
(knees up) or sLarL on Lhe floor (knees up) and progress Lo a sLandlng poslLlon lollow
your mood endlng up lylng down can leave you ln a good poslLlon for more lnLlmaLe
conLacL whlle endlng up sLandlng could make you wanL Lo move around for more acLlve
play
8locks Lo 8llss
8elaLlonshlps ln whlch one parLner
ls physlcally acLlve and Lhe
oLher ls noL can lead Lo Lrouble
ln a Callfornla sLudy of relaLlonshlps
where one parLner [ogged
Lhe lnacLlve spouses ofLen became
[ealous of Lhe runner's lndependence
and aLLracLlveness
Lo oLhers
173
ChapLer 14 CeLLlng llL 1ogeLher for 1anLrlc Sex
Sounds slmple doesn'L lL? !usL LhrusL your pelvls
forward and backward 8uL LhaL mlghL noL be so
easy conslderlng LhaL for many of us our pelvls ls
sLlff! SLand wlLh feeL shoulder wldLh aparL sacrum
Lucked ln 1hrusL forward and backward ln a
sLeady moLlon plcklng up speed 1he Lrlck for Lhe
besL effecL ls Lo keep your upper body sLralghL and
lsolaLe Lhe hlps leel Lhe energy surge Lhrough
your body and send lL ouL Lo your parLner use
your hands Lo gulde Lhe energy ouL Lo your parLner
by maklng a sweeplng moLlon lnLo hls or her
pelvls and Lhen up lnLo Lhe hearL
l Could Pave uanced
All nlghL
uanclng ls a wonderful workouL LhaL exerclses all klnds of muscles and frees your
splrlL ln Lhe process lL's a powerful way Lo acLlvaLe your enLlre body and move sexual
energy Lhrough your bodyeven Lo Lhe polnL of senslng orgasmlc hlghs for boLh
men and women 1haL makes Lhe acLlvlLy a perfecL warmup for when you wanL
Lo geL more lnLeracLlve use your moLlons LogeLher ln dance Lo express your aLLracLlon
and deslre l'll explaln more abouL dlfferenL klnds of dances you can do Lo express
and experlence your pleasure LogeLher ln ChapLer 13 Make lL !ulcy wlLh Maglc
and lay"
ace your dance for your deslred hearL raLe dolng slow sensuous movemenLs and
bulldlng Lo fasLer more freeflowlng moLlons LeL yourself go lnLo a frenzy allowlng
your llmbs Lo fly where Lhey wlll
An LlghLSLep WhlLe 1anLra 1wosome 8ouLlne
As l menLloned earller ln Lhls book whlLe LanLra refers Lo personal pracLlces lncludlng
yoga poses LhaL connecL Lo Lhe chakras or energy cenLers Lach Llme you make a
pose lL ls meanL Lo sLlmulaLe one or several of Lhe energy cenLers and Lhe emoLlons
or lssues assoclaLed wlLh Lhose cenLers
lollow along as l descrlbe a wonderful LanLrlc yoga rouLlne for couples and you'll see
whaL l mean 1hls pracLlce was deslgned by new ?ork LanLra Leacher Carla 1aranLola
as a resulL of her pracLlce wlLh her beloved !ohn lL was so effecLlve she declded Lo
lnclude lL ln LanLra classes she Leaches around Lhe counLry MosL couples flnlsh Lhelr
day Loo exhausLed from work or Laklng care of Lhe klds Lo en[oy sex" says 1aranLola
buL lf Lhey do Lhese physlcal poses LogeLher Lhey can flood Lhemselves wlLh such a
rlver of sexual energy LhaL Lhey won'L even remember Lhey were Loo Llred for sex"
LcsLasy LssenLlals
Add sound Lo lnLenslfy your energy
and exclLemenL ln unlson
say ooo" as you LhrusL forward
and ahhh" as you arch back
174
1hese Lwosome yoga poses beneflL your relaLlonshlp by
LsLabllshlng deep LrusL because you depend on each oLher for Lhe movemenLs
CreaLlng balance because you really have Lo physlcally balance on each oLher
and ad[usL Lo Lhe oLher person's welghL Lo geL lnLo and ouL of Lhe poses
8equlrlng and reflecLlng genulne cooperaLlon because you have Lo flgure ouL
how Lo geL ln and ouL of Lhe poses LogeLher
rovldlng an example of how you communlcaLe Lhrough your bodles whlch ls a
meLaphor for how well you can communlcaLe emoLlonally
Clvlng you a chance Lo supporL each oLher ln developlng Lhe physlcal sLrengLh
and resolvlng any emoLlonal lssues assoclaLed wlLh Lhese chakras
Clvlng you a chance Lo laugh and have fun LogeLher!
1he followlng secLlons descrlbe Lhe suggesLed poses all demonsLraLed by 1aranLola
and her beloved !ohn
Couple ConnecL
SLarL your sesslon by belng fully presenL Lo one anoLher SlL faclng each oLher and
looklng ln each oLher's eyes WlLh knees benL ouL place feeL comforLably ln fronL of
you wlLh hls feeL on Lhe ouLslde of hers Lnclrcle each oLher by sLreLchlng ouL your
arms Lo hold on Lo your parLner comforLably on Lhe sldes or under Lhe shoulder
lnhale and exhale LogeLher Lo synchronlze your energles uo Lhls for abouL seven
breaLhs or longer lf you llke
Couple connecL
173
Clrcllng Couple CelebraLlon
SLay on Lhe floor opposlLe each oLher SLreLch
your legs ouL as far as posslble wlLh feeL Louchlng
or overlapped aL Lhe ankles (as comforLable) Pold
hands as one parLner leans Loward Lhe oLher and
Lhe oLher leans backward 8everse Lhls uo alLernaLlng
breaLhs (breaLhe ln as your parLner
breaLhes ouL) Make clrcles movlng Lo Lhe lefL LogeLher
sLreLchlng your rlghL slde and Lhen Lhe
opposlLe slde 8everse dlrecLlons Make smaller
and larger clrcles 8e sponLaneous guesslng whlch
way each of you wanLs Lo go and have fun! leel
more looseness ln your base and sex chakras
whlch wlll help you ln sex
1anLra 1uLorlal
Ad[usL every poslLlon Lo accommodaLe
your slzes and ablllLy
never sLraln 8emaln ln each poslLlon
for as long as you wanL or
as long as you feel comforLable
Clrcllng couple
celebraLlon
SquaLLoSLand SupporL
Pelp each oLher lnLo a squaL poslLlon sLlll grasplng each oLher's wrlsLs 8ounce genLly
feellng your lower energy cenLers geLLlng sLlmulaLed LlfL up Lo a sLandlng poslLlon
slowly playlng as you balance each oLher Lower down and rlse agaln synchronlzlng
your breaLh Lo lnhale as you rlse up and exhallng as you lower (8e careful noL Lo
sLraln your knees whlle dolng Lhese movemenLs)
176
SquaLLosLand supporL
arLner elvls ress
SLand close LogeLher faclng each oLher presslng agalnsL each oLher's pelvls for balance
as you lean back and llfL your arms Loward Lhe sky looklng upward 1hls opens your
hearL cenLer buL because your pelvls ls Lhe seaL of power by presslng your pelvls LogeLher
you are glvlng each oLher sLrengLh (from Lhe pelvlc energy cenLer) Lo love Cn
Lhe exhale make nolses maklng Lhe sound come from your pelvls hearL and LhroaL
lf l lean Loo close Lo my parLner he could fall back buL lf l don'L lean back enough
he wlll fall on Lop of me" explalns 1aranLola 8ecause we are responslble Lo noL leL
each oLher fall we have Lo balance male and female energy ln Lhe way requlred ln
LanLrlc sex"
uangllng uuos
8rlng your hands LogeLher from Lhe pelvls press and sLep aparL gradually guldlng
each oLher Lo droop downward and hang llke a Lree (belng careful Lo go slowly and
lowerlng Lhe splne one verLebrae aL a Llme) 8elax your neck and shoulders and allow
your head Lo hang loosely
177
arLner pelvls press
uangllng duos
178
1he Couple Cobras
Lle fully exLended on your sLomach wlLh heads Louchlng WlLh hands under Lhe
shoulders slowly llfL Lhe upper body openlng Lhe hearL Lo each oLher and sLreLchlng
Lhe head and neck upward and curvlng backward openlng Lhe LhroaL chakra 1hls
wlll enable you Lo speak honesLly Lo each oLher Lower down and rlse up agaln lnhallng
and exhallng aL Lhe same pace
Couple cobra
Lovers 1able
1hls ls a wonderful experlence! Cne parLner kneels on all fours keeplng hls back
sLralghL and creaLlng a Lable over whlch Lhe parLner can lean backward and drape hls
or her own body wlLh ouLsLreLched arms openlng all chakras and feellng LrusL ln Lhe
parLner 8everse places lf your welghL allows
Lovers Lable
179
Couple Cuddle
1hls ls Lhe Lyplcal resLlng pose ln yoga buL wlLh one parLner cradled over Lhe oLher
8reaLhe LogeLher and feel Lhe energy connecLlon LrusL and love Change places
Couple cuddle
All of Lhese balance posLures relaLe Lo relaLlonshlp skllls explalns 1aranLola noLlce
wheLher you have Lrouble wlLh any of Lhe poses (noL [usL physlcally) LhaL mlghL lndlcaLe
you are afrald Lo open your hearL speak up or LrusL
8edroom 8odybulldlng
As a yoga Leacher and former professlonal aLhleLe 8undy uuphlney worked ouL every
day unLll hls consLanL crosscounLry Lrlps from Callfornla Lo Chlo Lo see hls lover Llsa
lnLerrupLed hls flLness rouLlne Pe panlcked unLll he reallzed LhaL maklng love wlLh
hls beloved was a workouL ln lLself CurrenLly also a sex coach uuphlney developed a
sex workouL rouLlne Lo help hlmself and oLher men sLay physlcally flL whlle also creaLlng
new hlghs wlLh a lover 1he rouLlne works all Lhe ma[or muscle groups (even
several aL a Llme) Lo bulld sLamlna and sLrengLh essenLlal for greaL sex Some of Lhe
exerclses lnclude Lhese
SLand face Lo face ln Lhe shower or bedroom Warm up by looklng lnLo each
oLher's eyes whlle rolllng your head from shoulder Lo shoulder and sLreLchlng
your upper body by leanlng ln one dlrecLlon and Lhe oLher
?ou and your parLner roLaLe your arms and hlps ln synchrony whlle faclng each
oLher as lf looklng ln a mlrror
Cnce you're boLh feellng exclLed she can Lurn her back and lean over as he
guldes her pelvls lnLo and away from hls body 1hls creaLes LhrusLlng for her
LhaL works ouL her hlps and develops sLrengLh ln her Lhlghs and reslsLance for
hlm Lo work ouL hls sLomach arms gluLs Lhlghs hlps and quads
180
ln Lhe parLner pushup he lles on hls back llfLlng hls hlps ln Lhe alr Lhereby
worklng hls lower back and abs whlle she leans over hlm supporLlng herself
wlLh sLralghL arms and hands on Lhe bed lowerlng and ralslng her body as lf
dolng pushups over hlm 1hls can also be done ln reverse poslLlons wlLh Lhe
man on Lop dolng Lhe pushups over her
ushups on your parLner
WlLh Lhe man on hls back knees up Lhe woman squaLs on Lop faclng hlm Pe
llfLs hls upper body and grabs her buLLocks from underneaLh pulllng her forward
and backward on hls wand of llghL 1hls has Lhe effecL of dolng blcep
curls worklng hls blceps forearms chesL and shoulders
SlL up ln yab yum poslLlon Crasp each oLher's wrlsLs and wlLh hls llngam sLlll
lnslde her yonl lean slowly backward LogeLher and pull each oLher up agaln Lo
slLLlng poslLlon creaLlng a back pull for several repeLlLlons
1he body sLores a dlsLlncL memory of Lhe movemenLs explalns uuphlney So afLer
you've done Lhls love rouLlne" he says l guaranLee you'll never be able Lo work ouL
ln Lhe gym agaln wlLhouL plcLurlng your parLner ln Lhe same poslLlons of pleasure
181
?ogaboxlng
She's Lhe mosL powerful and perslsLenL woman l ever meL" !oshua SmlLh Lold me
abouL hls glrlfrlend so l could never say no Lo her l'd glve ln unLll l goL so mad LhaL
l wasn'L speaklng my mlnd LhaL l'd escape Lo my own house avold sex wlLh her and
Lhlnk abouL havlng an affalr" 1he handsome ouLwardly confldenL 36yearold
WashlngLon buslnessman ls noL unllke an lncreaslngly number of men Loday who
alLhough sLrong Lhemselves when faced wlLh an asserLlve" woman become lnLlmldaLed
and wlLhdraw sexually and emoLlonally raLher Lhan confronL Lhe parLner and
asserL Lhemselves
So SmlLh declded Lo sLrlke ouL hls feellngsaL hls punchlng bag As he released hls
anger he had a brllllanL bralnsLorm A longLlme pracLlLloner of marlLal arLs 1'al Chl
Lrance dance aeroblcs and yoga SmlLh came up wlLh a new workouL LhaL he now
offers Lo oLhers ln a workshop Pe calls lL ?ogaboxlng a synLhesls of yoga and boxlng
LhaL SmlLh clalms clears anger buL also brlngs sexual energy lnLo Lhe hearL Lo
renew love
A hlghllghL of Lhe hourlong rouLlne ls Lhe yes/no exerclse ln whlch parLlclpanLs face
each oLher and shouL a serles of commands LhaL are refusals (no" geL ouL" hear
me now") and Lhen afflrmaLlons (yes" yes l can") whlle exLendlng flsLs ln marlLal
arLs moLlons 1he sLeps sound llke Lhose ln selfdefense classes buL SmlLh clalms hls
rouLlne proves Lhe approach can be as effecLlve for lnLlmaLe relaLlonshlps as for aLLacks
from sLrangers
1anLra 1ales
lranclsco and hls glrlfrlend nlcole had already been dolng Lhe pelvlc LhrusLs and parLner
pushups before reallzlng Lhelr favorlLe sex poslLlons doubled as flLness moves 1hlnklng
abouL how l'm geLLlng ln shape durlng sex makes me move my muscles more" explalned
lranclsco So my body looks buffed and l acL llke a sLud maklng nlcole Lwlce as Lurned
on Lo me" urposefully exerclslng durlng sex can beneflL Lhe woman equally nlcole sald
lranclsco and l always loved my legs hlgh ln Lhe alr and Lhe pushup poslLlon buL Lhlnklng
of Lhem now as formal exerclses ls a double payoff because we boLh need Lhe bodywork
now l know l'll also do beLLer pelvlc LhrusLs ln llaLes class Lhlnklng of hls
dellghLlng llngam golng ln and ouL of me!"
182
lL worked for hlm AfLer dolng Lhe exerclse myself over and over" SmlLh explalns l
reallzed LhaL raLher Lhan sLaylng angry wlLh Laurle maklng her wrong and saboLaglng
our relaLlonshlp and sex llfe l could glve myself permlsslon Lo refuse her requesLs
ask for whaL l needed and expecL her Lo honor LhaL 1he resulL ls LhaL l feel beLLer
abouL myself and even more Lurned on and passlonaLe Loward her"
1he flrsL Lhlng SmlLh dld was confronL hls glrlfrlend and say l need some Llme Lo
myself and afLer LhaL l can llsLen Lo you" She proLesLed aL flrsL buL Lhen wenL along
1anLra 1uLorlal
A psychologlcal developmenLal beneflL ln SmlLh's ?ogaboxlng" ls called seLLlng your
boundarles"saylng whaL you wlll or wlll noL do whlch proves Lo yourself and oLhers LhaL
you are ln conLrol of your llfe (1hls overcomes chlldhood problems ln whlch SmlLh and
men llke hlm have grown up senslng yeL fearlng Lhe exLenL of Lhelr own power and
learnlng Lo express LhaL power wlLhouL fear of belng desLrucLlve) 1he physlcal beneflLs lnvolve
Lhe comblnaLlon of genLler yoga movemenLs wlLh more vlgorous boxlng whlch lnfuses
Lhe muscles wlLh oxygenrlch cells sLlmulaLes Lhe endocrlne glands and allgns Lhe
neck and splne all of whlch helps reLard aglng wlLhouL puLLlng undue sLress on Lhe body
1he workouL sLarLs wlLh sLreLches LhaL reach upward as SmlLh lnsLrucLs hls group Lo
lmaglne reachlng for Lhelr sLrengLh and sLreLchlng Lo speak up Many exerclses are
done ln palrs Lo slmulaLe confronLlng a real parLner such as Lhe sLop slgn and Lhe Lug
of war ln whlch each holds an end of a handkerchlef saylng yes" and no" alLernaLely
AfLer each exerclse Lhe parLners share how Lhey felL and wheLher Lhey were
able Lo acL as sLrongly as Lhey wanLed Who pulls Lhe handkerchlef harder? Whose
volce ls more convlnclng? 1he parLlclpanLs are lnvlLed Lo assoclaLe Lhe exerclse wlLh
experlences ln Lhelr relaLlonshlps ln whlch Lhey have dlsagreed abouL even small
Lhlngs such as whaL movle Lo see or where Lo go Lo dlnner
183
1he movemenLs and verballzaLlons ln ?ogaboxlng esLabllsh a powerful connecLlon beLween
your sense of power and your LhroaL allowlng energy for selfexpresslon Lo
flow more easlly Lo Lhe sexual area AfLer Lhls workouL" SmlLh promlses a guy can
geL really Lurned on because he knows he can speak up Lo a woman so he feels safer
belng more vulnerableLhe very comblnaLlon of quallLles LhaL women really llke"
?ogaboxlng seems Lo be worklng for oLhers as well wlLh women as well as men floodlng
SmlLh's WashlngLon classes (wwwbuLLerflyworkshopscom) So nexL Llme you're
mad as hell and won'L go near her grab a handkerchlef and engage her ln a Lug of
war and leL Lhe vlcLor en[oy Lhe spolls of sex LhereafLer
?ogaboxlng Lug of war
Worklng ouL LogeLher acLlvaLes more sexual energy beLween you whlch sparks
your aLLracLlon for each oLher and empowers your unlon for more pleasure
?oga poses LhaL you do on your own can be adapLed Lo do wlLh a parLner
laclng your parLner you can do love muscle exerclses pelvlc LhrusLs dances
and more compllcaLed whlLe LanLra rouLlnes
Lxerclses LhaL may seem merely physlcal can acLually have deep emoLlonal
componenLs LhaL Lrlgger emoLlonal lssues and can deepen your relaLlonshlp by
creaLlng opporLunlLles Lo esLabllsh balance LrusL communlcaLlon and supporL

arL 4
Colng ueeper More Love
and 8eLLer Sex 1han ?ou
Lver lmaglned
8y now you've progressed beauLlfully on your paLh Lo lovlng passlon and you're ready
Lo add more advanced pracLlces experlence more dellghL ln glvlng and recelvlng love
and lnLegraLe Lhls more deeply lnLo expandlng your consclousness As you become beLLer
aL movlng your energy ln new and exclLlng ways love becomes more fulfllllng and
sex more maglcal
ln Lhls parL lL's Llme Lo really leL go and explore your body mlnd and soul Learn
dlfferenL klnds of eroLlc dances Lo enLlce your maLe and dlscover new erogenous zones
and poslLlons As you expand lnLo explorlng how Lo move your energy sLronger
feellngs can emerge so l'll reveal some effecLlve ways Lo heal any pasL sexual paln
releaslng you Lo have more lnLense orgasms and greaLer overall bllss

ChapLer 13
Make lL !ulcy
wlLh Maglc
and lay
ln 1hls ChapLer
1he lmporLance of play ln good sex
uanclng for each oLher
Pow food can spark passlon
1oys glfLs and games Lo please each oLher
Maklng sex maglc
1anLrlc evenLs LhaL encourage [oyful [olnlngs
Are you havlng fun yeL? 8emember LhaL LanLrlc sex ls bullL on a prlnclple of pleasure
l am an absoluLe bellever LhaL you should en[oy lovlngand your llfe! lf someLhlng
feels noL qulLe rlghL please sLop and change Lhe energy so you are experlenclng and
sharlng pleasure (unless you're purposefully uslng Lhe experlence Lo heal as l wlll dlscuss
ln ChapLer 17 Sexual Peallng Lo SeL ?ou lree")
All LanLrlc workshops lnclude Llme for play Cne of Lhe mosL en[oyable aspecLs for me
ln Lhe workshops LhaL l lead ls creaLlng new and exclLlng experlences for Lhe parLlclpanLs
l love when Lhe whole room ls energlzed and havlng a good Llme! ln Lhls
chapLer you'll learn some ldeas for playLlme LhaL you can share wlLh a parLner More
lmporLanL leL your splrlL soar and come up wlLh fun ldeas LhaL sponLaneously occur
Lo you 1here are lnflnlLe ways Lo play LogeLher parL of Lhe [oy ls Lo dlscover
Lhose ways
arL 4 Colng ueeper More Love and 8eLLer Sex 1han ?ou Lver lmaglned
188
1he SplrlL of lay
8emember belng a chlldwlLh no fears or lnhlblLlons abouL whaL Lo do Lo enLerLaln
and amuse yourself? Sadly we develop so many fears as we grow up usually as a resulL
of negaLlve experlences punlshmenLs and messages Lelllng us don'L do Lhls"
and be careful abouL LhaL" 1une ln Lo Lhe splrlL of yourself as a chlld WhaL would
you do on your own or wlLh a parLner? Clve yourself Lhe permlsslon Lo be LhaL sweeL
LrusLlng unlnhlblLed playful charmlng chlld
Pow Much !ulce ls 1here?
Pow [ulcy are you? l feel Lhe [ulce beLween us" 1hls experlence ls really [ulcy"
When you say Lhese words can you feel Lhe succulence? 8eferrlng Lo someone ln
LanLra as [ulcy" means LhaL person ls belng unlnhlblLed expresslng Lrue sensuallLy
and allowlng hlmself or herself Lo be Lurned on and exclLed Pls or her energy ls flowlng
ln an exclLed sensuous way Women also are
called [ulcy when Lhey are lubrlcaLlng reflecLlng Lhelr
exclLemenLand Lhey're especlally [ulcy when Lhey
have LhaL female e[aculaLlon emlLLlng a flow of love
llquld (also called amrlLa)
1he lmporLance of lay ln Sex
1he value of play ls endless boLh physlcally and emoLlonally
8esearch has even shown LhaL happler people
have sLronger lmmune sysLems and LhaL couples ln a
happy unlon llve longer Lhan Lhose who are noL so
conLenL lL has even been proven LhaL smlllng llfLs
your splrlLs and LhaL a cheerler mood leads Lo beLLer
physlcal healLh
AfflrmaLlons AbouL !oyful Sexual unlon
When you consclously declde whaL you wanL lL ls more llkely you wlll geL lL
Speaklng ouL loud whaL you wanL or wrlLlng lL down on a plece of paper ls even
more helpful 8ead Lhe followlng afflrmaLlons aloud and breaLhe deeply whlle you say
Lhem Lo flx Lhem ln your belng lmaglne yourself ln a sexual unlon whlle feellng
Lhese emoLlons and sLaLes
l deserve Lo have [oy ln my sex llfe
l en[oy every momenL of pleasure
l feel good abouL myself
My beloved cheers me on ln lovemaklng
AlLhough belng called [ulcy ls a
blg compllmenL as wlLh oLher
Lerms make sure a woman or
man llkes belng ldenLlfled Lhls
way
189
ChapLer 13 Make lL !ulcy wlLh Maglc and lay
l have fun ln sex
l glve off an lnner and ouLer glow
l dellghL ln myself and my beloved
noLlce Lhese afflrmaLlons are wrlLLen ln presenL Lense so LhaL Lhey feel more real and
creaLe Lhe sense of belng presenL" LhaL ls Lyplcal of LanLra
Laugh ?our Way Lo 8eLLer PealLh
lL ls well known LhaL laughLer lmproves Lhe lmmune sysLem and Lherefore makes you
healLhler lL also has lnflnlLe beneflLs from an emoLlonal polnL of vlew Laugh aloud
now and see how lL changes your mood LaughLer
opens you Lo more loveLhe goal of LanLra
Cne of splrlLual mysLlc Csho's favorlLe courses ls
MysLlc 8ose" ln whlch parLlclpanLs spend Lhree
hours a day for a week ln a room laughlng (aL
noLhlng ln parLlcular [usL laughlng) ln facL Lhe
experlence becomes conLaglous so LhaL even lf you
don'L feel lnlLlally llke laughlng someone else's
laughLer lnsplres you Lo laugh Loo
uanclng for Lach CLher
uance ls a revered parL of Lhe arL of love accordlng
Lo anclenL lndlan LexLs on Lhe sub[ecL Pow rlghL
Lhey were! uanclng moves sLrong surges of sexual
energy wlLhln you and Loward your parLner LeL
your body speak your love by Laklng Lurns danclng
for each oLher ulm Lhe llghLs ueclde who wlll
dance flrsL and who wlll be Lhe audlence 1he
dancer geLs Lo puL on hls or her favorlLe muslc
lL could be a salsa [azz or even heavy meLal uress
for Lhe occaslon ln an ouLflL LhaL makes you feel sexy and LhaL your parLner wlll flnd
sexy Loo Pere's Lhe challenge ?ou have Lo puL aslde your selfconsclousness
l promlse lf you [usL Lake a deep breaLh and sLarL dolng lL and keep your eyes on your
parLner's en[oymenL of your dlsplay your selfconsclousness wlll go away LeL any
fearful LhoughLs (l look sllly" or l can'L dance") come up and Lhen drown Lhem ln
your mlnd by concenLraLlng on Lhe muslc and looklng lnLo your parLner's eyes leel
Lhe muslc ln your body and leL your body move wlLh lL now swlLch and leL your
parLner choose muslc and puL on a sexy ouLflL Lo dance for you
LcsLasy LssenLlals
Cne LanLra pracLlLloner Lells a
humorous (madeup) sLory LhaL
sclenLlsLs have found LhaL all
problems can be solved by openlng
Lhe clown chakra locaLed ln
Lhe belly All you have Lo do ls
lnLenLlonally glve a blg belly
laugh and you are cleansed of
your Lroubles and ready for [oy
wlLh your parLner!
190
Cuys mlghL need exLra encouragemenL Lo do Lhls because usually Lhey have convlnced
Lhemselves Lhey can'L dance Clve hlm exLra reassurance Pelp hlm prepare
before you do Lhls pracLlce by golng ouL danclng he should leL her lead and copy her
moves geLLlng close and grlndlng hls groln Lo her
rhyLhm
Callfornla LanLrlka lrancesca CenLllle Leaches couples
sacred danclng Lead your parLner's aLLenLlon wlLh
your hands" she advlses Move Lhem ln fronL of your
hearL area Lo sLlmulaLe your parLner's concenLraLlon on
Lhe hearL and Lherefore your lovlng feellngs Cr Lo
Lurn up Lhe heaL rub your hlps and Lhlghs"
1anLrlka Marcl !avrll a dancer herself suggesLs a
woman can beneflL from waLchlng a sLrlpper perform
Co Lo a club wlLh hlm lf you're comforLable wlLh LhaL
ldea or waLch lL on vldeoLape emulaLlng her moves Lo
be [usL as provocaLlve
Mlrror Mlrror
uanclng LogeLher ls an acLlvlLy you can do ln Lhe prlvacy
of your own home !usL puL on some eroLlc sensual
muslc LhaL moves you and leL your bodles flow Lo
Lhe rhyLhm Movlng LogeLher ln a freeflow lmprovlsaLlonal
dance wlll lead Lo more sLlmulaLlon beLLer
uanclng for each oLher
1anLra 1ales
Lorl was Lapplng away on her
compuLer unLll laLe ln Lhe nlghL
when Lance Lurned her chalr
around and began Lo sllLher ln a
wlndlng moLlon puLLlng on a
danclng show for her Lorl was
embarrassed aL flrsL buL was soon
dellghLed aL hls dlsplay lL
seemed llke someLhlng a woman
would do for a man and here he
was dolng lL for meand l really
llked lL"
191
orgasms and hlgher sLaLes of ecsLasy LogeLher Mlrror each oLher's moLlons Lo synchronlze
your mood erase any sense of separaLlon and Lurn you on Lo each oLher
Mlrrorlng each oLher's
movemenLs
Men should waLch how a woman channels lnLense sensual energy Lhrough her body
follow her and Lhen Lake Lhe lead 8end her and leL her melL ln your armsgood
pracLlce for whaL you wanL Lo happen when your genlLals are locked ln a slmllar
dance Caze lnLo each oLher's eyes and breaLhe LogeLher as you gyraLe when you're
ready Lo reach hlgher sLaLes of ecsLasy fall on Lhe floor or couch on Lop of each oLher
and conLlnue Lhe acLlon
1he Pand uance
ln Lhls exerclse Lo do wlLh your parLner puL up your hands and leL Lhem dance" LogeLher
LeL one parLner be Lhe leader flrsL and Lhe oLher follow Lhe sLeps and Lhen
swlLch roles See how lL feels Lo be Lhe leader or follower Whlch feels more naLural? lf
you felL more comforLable belng Lhe leader purposefully be Lhe follower agaln lf you
were more comforLable belng Lhe follower force yourself Lo be Lhe leader and dlrecL
your parLner's acLlons
uslng ?our 8ody arLs
SLand back Lo back and dance agalnsL your parLner's back lay Lhe same leader/
follower game as ln Lhe prevlous exerclse 1ry uslng dlfferenL body parLs Lo connecL
192
your hlps your elbows whaLever you llke Pave fun chooslng whlch one or swlLch
from one Lo Lhe oLher CeL your whole body lnLo Lhe acLlon!
8elly uanclng
?ou mlghL Lhlnk you could never do Lhose belly rolls and graceful hand moLlons LhaL
belly dancers do buL whaL lf you Lrled lL? Lven lf you can'L dance aL all you have Lo
glve lL a Lry Lo be a Lrue LanLrlka (men can Lry lL Loo) 1he secreL lles ln movlng Lhe
pelvls (Lhe key Lo LanLrlc energy whlch ls whaL makes LanLrlc sex pracLlce and belly
danclng so compaLlble)
8elly danclng ls an ecsLaLlc celebraLlon of femlnlne power creaLlvlLy and sexual energy"
says ChrlsLlna Sophla a LanLrlka who Leaches a form she calls sacrederoLlc bellydance
(wwwLanLradancecom) 1he sensual snaky acLlons mlmlc orgasm and Lhe
breaLh as a powerful force movlng Lhrough Lhe body wlLh Lhe muscular movemenLs
groundlng Lo Lhe earLh and Lhe splnnlng hands reachlng Lo Lhe sky connecLlng earLh
and sky moLher and faLher male and female Also Lhe pelvlc moLlons mlmlc Lhe
blrLhlng process connecLlng you Lo Lhe source of all llfe 1he beneflLs are exLenslve
lncludlng lncreaslng your flexlblllLy and muscular and lnLernal awareness of your
Lorso and pelvlc reglons lL ls also a [oyful form of exerclse and creaLlve expresslon
LhaL you can do on your own by looklng ln Lhe mlrror Lo appreclaLe your body and
gracefulness or Lo en[oy wlLh a parLner 1he body
awareness and sponLaneous creaLlve lnsplraLlon wlll
resulL ln bllssful and expanslve LanLrlc lovemaklng"
Sophla's beloved and LanLra coLeacher Wllllam
llorlan says belly danclng broughL more allveness and
arousal lnLo Lhelr sex Men need Lo learn Lo move
LhaL way" says llorlan who also provldes orlglnal
slnglng aL Lhelr weekend workshops Cnce Lhey do
Lhls Lhelr erecLlons geL sLronger Lhey can lasL longer
and please Lhelr women more" Sophla says LhaL gradually
men are Laklng up belly danclng lL's a way Lo
reexperlence Lhelr sensuallLy reclalm Lhelr femlnlne
slde and en[oy a creaLlve [oyful ouLleL for Lhelr energy
1he snaky muscular movemenLs are groundlng
lnLo more power noL emasculaLlng 1hlnk of powerful
arms reachlng up Lo Lhe sky Lo connecL wlLh splrlLual
energy"
LcsLaLlc uance
A premler dance lnsLrucLor muslclan and Leacher who
runs workshops around Lhe world Cabrlelle 8oLh
Leaches sLudenLs a movlng medlLaLlon and workouL
1anLra 1uLorlal
8ellydanclng beglnners learn a
varleLy of pelvlc and rlb cage
movemenLs creaLlng geomeLrlc
deslgns (clrcles dlamonds Lrlangles
flgure elghLs undulaLlons)
correcL posLure sLeps (Lo Lhe
slde fronL back) and arm
hand and head movemenLs 1o
flnd belly danclng classes check
local communlLy cenLers Lelephone
dlrecLorles under uance
lnsLrucLlon or see Appendlx 8
Workshops Web SlLes 1eachers
and 1anLra CommunlLles"
193
she calls ecsLaLlc dance lL conslsLs of flve essenLlal rhyLhms flowlng (a fluld clrcular
moLlon) sLaccaLo (sLops and sLarLs) chaos (wlld and free) lyrlcal (Lrancellke) and
sLlllness (lnner movemenL) uanclng Lo Lhese rhyLhms Lakes you Lhrough sLages of
sexual arousal Muslc ls an essenLlal elemenL Lo creaLe Lhese progresslve moods use
8oLh's cusLomlzed Cus or creaLe one of your own
1he 1emple uance
1he Lemple dance sLarLs wlLh a rlLual baLh or an eroLlc verslon of an anclenL 8allnese
Lrance dance As ln anclenL Llmes lnsLead of followlng cerLaln sLeps you channel
your energy accordlng Lo whaL your parLner needs ln Lhls way your dance ls noL
only for pleasure lL's also for heallng
SlL faclng your parLner and look lnLo hls or her eyes WaLch hls or her body language
and movemenL Cbserve everyLhlng abouL your parLner and sense whaL he or she ls
feellng and deslrlng 1hen sway Lo Lhe mood and Lhe deslre you sense LeL your selfconsclousness
fade away Allow yourself Lo change your movemenLs when you sense a
change ln your parLner's mood
nexL Lake more of Lhe lnlLlaLlve and purposefully enLlce and seduce your parLner
wlLh your movemenLs and undulaLlons 8alse hls or her energy and lnLeresL AL flrsL
LanLallze from a dlsLance Lhen move closer As you feel Llngllng and waves of energy
flowlng Lhrough you LransmlL Lhose Lo your parLner Lhrough your movemenLs
glances and gesLures LeL Lhe dance go where lL wlll perhaps leadlng Lo a massage or
more Lhen swlLch places and leL your parLner dance for you!
leasLlng on ?our Love
l have long recommended a healLhy way for couples Lo use food Lo spark passlon ln a
sensuous supper every aspecLwhaL how where and when you eaLawakens all your
senses 1he experlence follows Lhe curve of sex from foreplay (shopplng and cooklng
LogeLher servlng each oLher) Lo a peak (consumlng) Lo llngerlng ln afLerplay (cleanlng
up)
1anLrlc lovemaklng Lakes Lhe use of food for pleasure or helghLenlng sensuallLy Lo a
new level where you also become Lhe Lable! A hlghllghL of LanLra semlnars called
8elng ln 8llss" and LcsLasy" run by 8uLLerfly Workshops ls Lhe CaLe feasL (meanlng
Lo go beyond" ln SanskrlL) ln Lhls eroLlc banqueL you prepare seven courses of foods
LhaL are vlsually appeallng LasLe good and can be easlly eaLen from varlous body
parLs (such as salmon mousse [ulcy frulLs and lce cream)
Make abundanL porLlons Lo creaLe Lhe sense LhaL you can have lL all says workshop
leader Laurle Pandlers use no uLenslls and feed your lover wlLh your hands or
mouLh or offer up courses on any parL of your body for your parLner Lo feasL on 1he
experlence lnvarlably leaves everyone laughlng lovlng each oLher and wanLlng Lo
LasLe more
194
lf you go slowly and savor Lhe experlence of glvlng and recelvlng pleasure ln each
sample and swallow" explalns Pandlers you go lnLo a dreamy sLaLe maklng you
feel sexy"
Cames Lovers lay
1anLrlc sex celebraLes games AfLer all LhaL's whaL klds
do and Lhey embody Lhe splrlL of [oy and dellghL 1he
word game" has Laken on a derogaLory connoLaLlon
as ofLen lL ls used Lo refer Lo slngle men and women
playlng games wlLh each oLher Lo Lrap Lhem lnLo relaLlonshlps
(l have always advlsed ln my daLlng workshops
LhaL you should never play games!) 8edeflne Lhe
word Lo have a poslLlve meanlng Lo represenL release
freedom and [oy Pere are some LanLrlc games you
and your parLner can en[oy LogeLher
Make up a sLory by Laklng Lurns Lo add dlfferenL
Lhemes and evenLs LeL Lhe sLory go ln
any dlrecLlon lL Lakes wlLhouL censorlng yourselves
or worrylng abouL whaL lL means ?ou can
speak lnLo a Lape recorder or wrlLe Lhe sLory
down so LhaL you can read lL back Lo each oLher
aL anoLher Llme
lcLure your love Make a collage of your love for each oLher CollecL lLems
LhaL are slgnlflcanL boLh for yourself and for your parLner and Lhen creaLe your
collage LogeLher
1he eroLlc CaLe feasL
LcsLasy LssenLlals
1o use food as a Lurnon for sex
(called slLlphllla) choose foods
wlLh pleaslng smells suggesLlve
shapes (cucumbers arLlchokes)
colors (red LomaLoes symbollc of
her rlpeness) and sLlmulaLlng
LexLures (peaches LhaL remlnd
hlm of her skln)
193
8rlng ouL Lhe anlmal ln you and your
parLner Anlmals are unlnhlblLed when lL
comes Lo followlng Lhelr deslres lay a game
ln whlch Lhe Lwo of you are anlmals CeL
down on your knees close your eyes and
use smell and sound Lo flnd each oLher See
whaL you do wlLh one anoLher See whlch
anlmals you chose Lo be! Are Lhose anlmals
compaLlble?
lay a Lune on your parLner's body
rofesslonal muslclan aul 8amana uas noL
only plays plano llke a vlrLuoso he plays
muslc on Lhe body of hls beloved 1hls can
be wonderful play for you and your parLner
reLend you are Lhe muslclan and play a
rhyLhm on any parL of your beloved's body
?ou don'L have Lo be a muslclan or know
muslc Lo do Lhls as long as you leL yourself
feel whaL you wanL Lo express Lhrough your
moLlons
1anLra 1ales
Mae collecLed Cu covers and
Creek reclpes because her
beloved ls a muslclan who llkes
Lo cook he broughL used alrllne
recelpLs and seashells because she
llkes Lo Lravel and walk on Lhe
beach 1hey Lold each oLher how
Lhey felL abouL Lhelr respecLlve
hobbles and lnLeresLs and how
warm Lhey felL abouL belng acknowledged
for Lhelr lnLeresLs
1anLra 1ales
1ed surprlsed hls belovedand hlmselfby pennlng a love poem 1he words [usL came
ouL of me" he explalned l [usL saL quleLly LhoughL of Caryn and sLarLed wrlLlng" Llke
1ed leL yourself be lnsplred by Lhe feellng wlLhouL any secondguesslng or [udglng uon'L
worry abouL sLyle rhymlng or even maklng sense! 1ed's poem expressed how relleved he
was Lo allow hlmself Lo love agaln wlLhouL belng hurL A verse reads
My whole body radlaLes wlLh Lhe warmLh and [oy of my love and our love
lL sLreams from my smlle for all Lo see and gllsLens ln Lhe glow of my eyes
My body ls relaxed and my mlnd ls peaceful calm and free
never agaln wlll l glve up my love Lo proLecL from feellng hurL"
196
CreaLlng Sex Maglc 1hrough 1anLrlc Sex
Sex maglc ls an advanced arL of LanLrlc lovemaklng Cf course any parL of your unlon
can be maglcal however Lhe phrase Lechnlcally refers Lo creaLlng whaL you wanL
Lhrough LanLrlc unlon and pracLlces Sex maglc lnvolves several sLeps
CreaLe a vlslon of whaL you wanL Lo have ln your llfe (more love/abundance/
happlness) Lle relaxed wlLh sofL muslc playlng Pold your parLner's hand lf you
llke LeL your mlnd wander unLll an lmage of whaL you would llke Lo manlfesL
comes Lo you (more love happlness even world peace!)
lmaglne sexual energy fuellng your ldea uraw LhaL energy up Lhrough your
body uslng Lhls book (concenLraLlng lmaglnlng feellng and dlrecLlng your energy
Lo move)
leel" your goal sllenLly or sLaLe lL aloud Lo yourself or Lo your parLner Pave
your parLner repeaL lL Lo you Lo sLrengLhen Lhe energy of your deslre 1hlnk
abouL LhaL vlslon when you are ln Lhe hlghesL sLaLes of pleasure such as aL Lhe
momenL of orgasm
Cry ouL yes yes" LogeLher Lo helghLen permlsslon for Lhe dream Lo come Lrue
CreaLlng sex maglc
197
Sex maglc ls posslble Lhrough LanLrlc pracLlces because
you can vlsuallze whaL you wanL whlle ln a
helghLened sLaLe of bllss maklng lL more llkely
LhaL Lhls wlll happen 1hls ls based on a valld sclenLlflc
Lheory LhaL Lhe braln does noL know Lhe
dlfference beLween whaL ls lmaglned and whaL ls
real Lherefore Lhe more you lmaglne someLhlng
deslrable as happenlng Lhe more you condlLlon
your mlnd and body Lo move Loward LhaL reallLy
?ou can do sex maglc by yourself Lhrough Lhe
sLeps prevlously descrlbed lf you have a parLner
you can Lake Lurns dolng sex maglc lndlvldually
or do lL LogeLher (havlng a [olnL lmage of whaL
you wanL)
1oys for 1anLrlc lay
ln LanLrlc sex Lhe besL Loy ls your lmaglnaLlon and every parL of your body and soul
and LhaL of your beloved Powever because LanLrlc sex ls abouL fun you also can use
many real Loys 1anLrlc sex Loys have speclal requlremenLs dlfferenL from [usL any sex
Loys or love alds
1hey should faclllLaLe Lhe process of cycllng your energy Lhrough your chakra
cenLers
1hey should encourage sensuallLy more Lhan sexuallLy
1hey should never dlsLracL you from Lhe real
focus of your aLLenLlonyour energy exchange
wlLh your beloved
1hey should help you have greaLer pleasure
and [oy and hopefully conLrlbuLe Lo your
physlcal healLh
1hey should brlng you lncreased calmness
or exclLemenL as deslred
Some suggesLlons of sex Loys lnclude Lhe
followlng
CrysLal onyx massage egg SLronger
healLhler vaglnal muscles add more eroLlc
sensaLlon and sexual energy 1he egg ls
meanL Lo help develop Lhese muscles llke
dolng lsoLonlc exerclses 1he woman lnserLs
Lhe egg lnslde her vaglna and pulses agalnsL
LcsLasy LssenLlals
1he ArL of Sexual Maglc
(1archer/uLnam 1996) by recognlzed
LanLra Leacher MargoL
Anand lncludes loLs of ways you
can creaLe sex maglc ln your relaLlonshlp
8locks Lo 8llss
Sex Loys can carry bacLerla unless
you keep Lhem clean 1anLrlka
1aylor Lamborne recommends
dlslnfecLlng sex Loys afLer use by
wlplng Lhem wlLh a soluLlon of
nuLrlbloLlc grapefrulL seed exLracL
(avallable aL healLh food sLores)
and waLer (use 10 drops of exLracL
Lo one cup of waLer)
198
lL Such skllls help a woman masLer Lhe anclenL easLern arL of pompolr (also
called playlng Lhe fluLe) ln whlch she sLlmulaLes Lhe llngam [usL by her vaglnal
muscle movemenLs" says 1aylor Lamborne creaLor of a Web slLe LhaL sells such
LanLrlc lLems aL wwwLovenecLarcom
CrysLal Wand 1hls 10lnch curved crysLal clear LuclLe wand can be lnserLed
ln any sexual openlng lL has dlfferenL slzes aL each end Lo sLlmulaLe elLher Lhe
woman's C spoL or man's C spoL (prosLaLe) 1he S shape makes lL easler Lo reach
Lhese areas Lhan wlLh your own flngers
1he CrysLal Wand
naLural rabblL fur massage mlLL 1hls sofL mlLL flLs over your hand and feels
sofL as you gllde lL over a beloved's or your own skln
LubrlcanLs 1hese appllcaLlons make sexual acLlvlLlesfrom Louchlng Lo lnLercourse
flow more easlly and can be cruclal for women wlLh problems lubrlcaLlng
(from lack of sLlmulaLlon or hormonal Lroubles) Also glldlng moLlons
prevenL damage Lo dellcaLe Llssues durlng prolonged sexual conLacL erhaps
even more lmporLanL Lhey feel good and are [usL plaln fun!
LubrlcanLs should gllde easlly wlLhouL feellng gummy or sLlcky 1hey should
also be made ouL of naLural lngredlenLs lor example some preparaLlons of glycerln
are made from 100 percenL pure vegeLables are waLersoluble and edlble
Choose a lubrlcanL LhaL LasLes good Loo never use anyLhlng LhaL dlsrupLs Lhe
chemlcal balance of Lhe vaglna (such as baby oll or cooklng oll whlch some
people reach for ln a rush or when unprepared) Always use a naLural subsLance
199
vldeos As LanLrlc sex becomes more popular Lhere are more vldeos on lLs pracLlces
1hese are chockfull of helpful Llps (more abouL Lhese ln ChapLer 18 Sex
Song and vldeoLape")
vlbraLors vlbraLors come ln all colors
slzes and shapes [usL llke real genlLalla
8aLher Lhan be LhreaLened LhaL you are noL
provldlng enough sLlmulaLlon for your parLner
lf he or she wanLs Lo use a vlbraLor see
lL as a help Lo spark for pleasure for boLh of
you 1he consLanL moLlon can be sLlmulaLlng
for men as well as women on all areas
of Lhe body
ClfLs from Lhe PearL
A LanLrlc sex glfL ls anyLhlng LhaL comes from
your hearL LhaL you glve Lo your parLner All Lhe
Loys ln Lhe prevlous secLlon could also be glfLs 1he followlng are oLher suggesLlons
Check Appendlx C for orderlng lnformaLlon for such lLems
Cod or goddess wear Choose cloLhlng LhaL ls looseflLLlng and comforLable lL
should be made of naLural flbers such as coLLon or sllk buL velveLs and beaded
scarves also are popular areos or sarongs are also pop2ular especlally for men
Lhese are large recLangles of maLerlal LhaL can be wrapped around Lhe body ln
varlous ways
Mandalas Lhangkas manLra deslgns and palnLlngs 1hese are arLwork of
symbols and deslgns deplcLlng sacred scenes of dlvlnlLles naLure or geomeLrlc
forms meanL for medlLaLlon as descrlbed ln ChapLer 3
Cod and goddess flgurlnes and sLaLues Many glfL shops LhaL speclallze ln
nepalese and LasLern arLlfacLs offer Lhese
8ooks or vldeos on LanLrlc sex 1hese can be lnsLrucLlonal as well as sLlmulaLlng
l parLlcularly llke Lhe ones LhaL add lmagery of hlsLorlcal eroLlc arL llke Lhe
book lorbldden ArL by Mlss naoml or Lhe vldeo PoL Sex ln LroLlc ArL from Access
lnsLrucLlonal Medla
AdornmenLs such as earrlngs necklaces or braceleLs LhaL evoke LanLrlc sex
or LhaL have Lhe yln yang symbol ln LanLrlc sex men also wear [ewelry as
adornmenLs and symbols of power [usL as Lhey dld ln anclenL Llmes 1hese lnclude
rlngs braceleLs necklaces and even earrlngs 1anLrlc adornmenLs also lnclude
blndls (beaded deslgns LhaL are afflxed Lo Lhe Lhlrd eye) Loe rlngs and
beaded sLraps LhaL flL around Lhe second Loe and around Lhe heel
8locks Lo 8llss
8e careful when applylng a vlbraLor
Lo Lender areas Ask your
parLner whaL pressure he or she
llkes never lnserL vlbraLors powered
by elecLrlclLy lnslde Lhe
body
200
A can of kama SuLra body dusL Smell ls a powerful sense ln aLLracLlon and
Lhls powder smells wonderful!
leasure promlse coupons 1hese are pleces of paper prlnLed wlLh sLaLemenLs
of whaL you wlll do for your parLner for example l wlll glve you a massage do
a chore for you Lake you Lo a romanLlc dlnner please you ln any way you wanL
for an hour ?ou can make any pledge LhaL sLrlkes your fancy 1hese coupons are
avallable ln sLores or ln my book 1he CompleLe ldloL's Culde Lo a PealLhy
8elaLlonshlp (Alpha 2001) or you can make up your own
Where Lo llnd 1anLrlc Love 1oys and ClfLs
Cf course Lhere are sex shops LhaL mlghL carry some of Lhe Loys LhaL flL Lhe crlLerla
for LanLrlc sex pracLlce however Lhere are also vendors who speclallze ln such alds
?ou can flnd Lhem aL
Web slLes for LanLra Leachers
8esources llsLed ln Appendlxes 8 and C for example Lve's Carden a pleasure
shop geared Loward women whlch malnLalns a respecLful aLLlLude Loward
women and sex ln general
8ecommendaLlons from frlends who pracLlce LanLra or LanLra Leachers
1anLra workshops where Lhere are usually Lables of LanLraorlenLed lLems
1anLrlc sex pracLlces are meanL for your pleasure and [oy you deserve lL
8e creaLlve abouL whaL you do LeL your lmaglnaLlon go sense your energy
and leL yourself follow your feellngs
1he besL sex Loy ls your own body and LhaL of your parLner buL lf you purchase
a sex Loy make sure lL's safe and respecLful
Clve glfLs Lo each oLher Lo lncrease your fun and pleasure
ChapLer 16
Advanced 1anLrlc
Lovemaklng
1echnlques
ln 1hls ChapLer
WhaL makes a LanLrlc Lechnlque advanced?
Lxamples of advanced LanLrlc lovemaklng rlLuals
Maglcal love rlLuals
Advanced whlLe LanLra poses
Alds for advanced LanLrlc use
now LhaL you've masLered Lhe baslcs had a wonderful Llme on hls and her besL
nlghLs ever" and dlscovered some new ways Lo play LogeLher l am sure you are curlous
abouL whaL could come nexL 1here are endless levels of Lralnlng and pracLlces ln
Lhls LradlLlon as ln many oLher paLhs
ln Lhls chapLer l wlll glve you a LasLe of some advanced pracLlcesLo Lake you deeper
lnLo sacred love and Lhe wonders of expanded consclousness
WhaL Makes a racLlce Advanced"?
lL Lakes Llme and pracLlce Lo become proflclenL aL any sklll and LanLra ls no excepLlon
8ecause movlng energy ln LanLra ls a powerful force you need Lo respecL Lhe process
and noL rush 8uL once you've masLered Lhe pracLlces as l have descrlbed Lhem ln
Lhese chapLers you'll be ready for Lhe more advanced exerclses 1hese are characLerlzed
by Lhe facL LhaL Lhey
202
use breaLhlng paLLerns ln more compllcaLed ways
CeneraLe more lnLense energy
CoordlnaLe more sLeps
Clear deeper emoLlons
ulrecL energy ln more dlverse ways
8e prepared for powerful rushes of energy LhaL wlll caLapulL you Lo hlgher sLaLes of
consclousness
A Slow 8lde lnLo 1lmeless Love
Some advanced pracLlces mlghL seem slmple on Lhe surface buL Lruly are more advanced
because more skllls are requlred Lo move energy ln a new way 8elaxlng lnLo
ecsLasy ls an advanced pracLlce LhaL Callfornla LanLra Leachers SLeve and LoklLa CarLer
dlscovered Lo be so effecLlve ln Lhelr lovemaklng Lhey adapLed lL for sLudenLs ln Lhelr
varlous classes aL Lhe lnsLlLuLe for LcsLaLlc Llvlng lL ls advanced ln LhaL lL requlres exLreme
senslLlvlLy Lo very subLle movemenLs of energy LhaL ellclL lnLense sensaLlons
We call lL a 'slow rlde lnLo Llmeless love'" explalns SLeve because lL lncludes mlcro
movemenLs where Lhe parLners connecL wlLh Llny moLlons LhaL are no more Lhan half
an lnch yeL Lhe resulLs are excepLlonally lnLense"
Pere are Lhe flve sLeps
1 8lLual SLarL your lovemaklng sesslon by Lelllng each oLher whaL you love mosL
abouL each oLher aL Lhls momenL 1hls creaLes a feellng of safeLy and LrusL
2 CommunlcaLlon Agree Lo Lry someLhlng dlfferenL 1ell each oLher how you
feel abouL lL and whaL you are afrald of
3 1he experlence uo whaLever you en[oy Lo geL aroused Cnce you are lnslde
each oLher and have made love for some Llme slow down 8eslsL Lhe LempLaLlon
Lo have an orgasm MelL lnLo each oLher and move your pelvls ever so sllghLly
Loward your parLner's pelvls (ln mlcro movemenLs) whlle looklng lnLo each
oLher's eyes
When you boLh feel ready Lo do someLhlng dlfferenL conLracL your pelvlc floor
muscles a few Llmes uo Lhls aL Lhe same Llme or alLernaLely locus on Lhese
small movemenLs allowlng Lhe awareness Lo lncrease senslLlvlLy ln your genlLals
lay wlLh Lhe speed and frequency 1ell each oLher whaL lL feels llke
AfLer a whlle come Lo sLlllness WlLh open eyes leL your breaLhlng and Lhe conLracLlons
of your pelvlc floor muscles carry you lnLo Llmelessness
lnclude Lhe mlcro movemenLs sLlllness and conLracLlons ln your lovemaklng
Move fasLer and Lhen reLurn Lo Lhe sLlllness 1hls creaLes a slow wave of ecsLasy
203
ChapLer 16 Advanced 1anLrlc Lovemaklng 1echnlques
4 Sharlng AfLer you have made love llke Lhls share your feellngs
uld you feel relaxed?
Were you able Lo feel your ecsLasy ln Lhe relaxaLlon?
uld you feel connecLed Lo each oLher?
ls Lhls someLhlng you would llke Lo Lry agaln?
3 Closlng Lnd your lovemaklng by Lhanklng each oLher and bowlng Lo each
oLher
1he Maglcal MalLhuna Love 8lLual
ln arLs 2 and 3 of Lhls book l lnLroduced you Lo varlous rlLuals ln LanLrlc lovemaklng
1he malLhuna ls Lhe mosL elaboraLe of Lhese rlLuals and lncludes many sLeps AL
one of 8odhl Avlnasha's LeacherLralnlng courses for 1anLrlka lnLernaLlonal we observed
SeaLLle LanLra Leachers klrby !acobson and hls coLeacher 8adhlka demonsLraLe
Lhls rlLual lL ls Lo be done wlLh reverence" lnsLrucLs !acobson 1he power of Lhe
MalLhuna ls revealed when Lhe couple belleves LhaL each movemenL ls a dedlcaLlon Lo
Lhemselves each oLher and Lhe unlverse"
1he sequence of Lhe ceremony lncludes Lhese
sLeps
1 repare Lhe lovemaklng space ln Lhe shape of
a yanLra (maglcal geomeLrlc deslgn)
2 urlfy and seal off Lhe space wlLh blesslngs ln
each dlrecLlon (lncludlng Lhe corners of Lhe
room celllng and floor)
3 repare speclal powders llghL lamps wlLh speclal
lgnlLlng subsLances (called ghee buLLer")
make offerlngs Lo chosen delLles and massage
each oLher's chakras (energy cenLers)
4 use hand movemenLs and manLra chanLs
Lo lnvoke and connecL energy beLween Lhe
parLners
1hls rlLual could go on for days!
1he Snake uance
When you really follow your lnLense energy lL can feel llke a snake comlng up your
splne kundallnl ls Lhe name of Lhe famous serpenL power LhaL lles colled up aL Lhe
base of Lhe splne Cnce awakened (Lhrough your pracLlces) Lhls energy Lravels up Lhe
splne lLs [ourney can Lake you lnLo new lnLense sensaLlons lf you go wlLh lLs flow!
1anLra 1uLorlal
MalLhuna refers Lo Lhe comlng
LogeLher of god and goddess
wlLh Lhe acknowledgemenL LhaL
everyLhlng ls sacred from food
Lo acLs of orglasLlc proporLlons
1he rlLual ls an elaboraLe performance
uslng speclflc lLems as
parL of Lhe sacred ceremony
204
lnLense power surges of Lhls hoL kundallnl energy rushlng up Lhe splne can llLerally
make you shakewlLh fear fury enLhuslasm or ecsLasy Lack of preparaLlon can lead
Lo a panlc called a splrlLual emergency buL wlLh responslble pracLlce you can follow Lhe
lnner snake Lo where lL Lakes you endlng up danclng prlmlLlvely seelng vlslons feellng
ouLslde your body or experlenclng lnner knowlng
lollowlng Lhe kundallnl
rlslng for an ecsLaLlc
experlence
lf you feel uncomforLable read Lhe book SplrlLual Lmergency When ersonal 1ransformaLlon
8ecomes a Crlsls by SLanlslav Crof and krlsLlna Crof (1archer/uLnam 1989)
or call Lhe SplrlLual Lmergence neLwork for a referral
Advanced WhlLe 1anLra 1wosome
hyslcal pracLlces (yoglc poses Lo move energy) complemenL your sexual pracLlces as
l dlscussed ln ChapLers 3 rep ?our 8ody 1emple of Love" and 14 CeLLlng llL
1ogeLher for 1anLrlc Sex" As you progress Lhese poses can become more advanced
Pere are Lwo excepLlonal advanced poses developed by new ?ork ClLy LanLrlka Carla
1aranLola
LarLh Lo sky saluLe SLand faclng your parLner wlLh enough space beLween you
so you can bend down wlLhouL bumplng lnLo one anoLher 1ake a few breaLhs Lo
cenLer and connecL reach behlnd you and clasp your own hands behlnd your
back wlLh lndex flngers polnLed ouL 8end over slowly (one verLebrae aL a Llme)
dropplng your head down as far as you can go comforLably and Louchlng Lhe
back of your head LlfL your arms behlnd you as sLralghL as posslble wlLh lndex
203
flnger polnLlng up Lo Lhe sky 8reaLhe and
feel Lhe energy of Lhe Lwo of you creaLlng a
channel connecLlng earLh wlLh sky (ShakLl
wlLh Shlva) Lower your arms and come up
slowly Laklng care wlLh your splne and do a
backward bend Lo balance 8epeaL Lhree
Llmes Lhen do Lhe followlng pose
1anLrlc Lwosome LresLle SlL ln fronL of
each oLher wlLh your legs ouLsLreLched and
sllghLly benL wlLh Lhe soles of your feeL
pressed LogeLher 8each forward Lo clasp
your parLner's hands and lnLerlock your flngers
keeplng your body sLralghL ralse your
legs aL Lhe same Llme keeplng Lhem beLween
your sLralghLened arms (or ouLslde
your arms lf LhaL's easler) uo flve full synchronlzed breaLhs LogeLher whlle looklng
ln each oLher's eyes noLlce how you malnLaln your balance ln Lhls poslLlon
and how LhaL ls reflecLed ln your relaLlonshlp
8emember LhaL every pose has a
purpose ln how you move your
energy Also always do prellmlnary
poses ln a rouLlne Lo prepare
your body for more
physlcally demandlng ones
LarLh Lo sky saluLe
206
Advanced asslon oslLlons and AcLs
1he kama SuLra conLalns many poslLlons and acLs many of whlch are shown on varlous
vldeoLapes LhaL l'll Lell you abouL ln ChapLer 18 Sex Song and vldeoLape" 8uL
LanLra Leachers and sLudenLs ofLen come up wlLh new posslblllLles from Lhelr own
pracLlce you can do Lhls Loo 1he only prerequlslLes Lo be sure Lhese flL Lhe LanLrlc
LradlLlon ls LhaL Lhey
ConnecL chakras (energy cenLers) Lo move energy
lnclude breaLhlng paLLerns
Are parL of a pracLlce raLher Lhan an lsolaLed acL
Ponor one anoLher
use Lhe lnLense energy for a hlgher purpose
A sexual poslLlon ls noL [usL an acrobaLlc achlevemenL
ln LanLra lL ls Lhe passageway Lo dlvlnlLy allowlng
you Lo be and see Lhe god/goddess Cnce
you can arouse a forceful pool of kundallnl energy
aL Lhe base of your splne lnLenslfylng lL ln your sex
cenLer and Lhen clrculaLlng lL Lhrough your body
you can Lhen send lL rlslng ouL Lhrough Lhe Lop of
your head ln a unlfled splral LogeLher reachlng
hlgher sLaLes of consclousness Lo Lhe polnL where
you sense an expanslon of Lhls unlfled mass merglng
wlLh Lhe unlverse ln ouLer space 1here are no
boundarles ?ou have become dlvlne and merged
wlLh Lhe dlvlne Lo know Lrue and lnLense god/
goddess consclousness
1o come down Lo earLh and reenLer
Lhe real world afLer such
lnLense energeLlc experlences
you musL do closlng ceremonles
such as releaslng splrlLs acknowledglng
your parLner or saylng a
closlng prayer
1anLrlc Lwosome LresLle
207
Lnflamlng of Lhe uragon Coddess
l love Lhls poslLlon because lL lnvokes Lhe dragon Lhe Chlnese symbol of heavenly
power conferred on man 1he Lwo sLeps allow Lhe fulflllmenL of Lhe ulLlmaLe purpose
of poslLlons Lo connecL wlLh dlvlne energy ln yourself your parLnershlp and all LhaL
ls 1hls poslLlon and pracLlce [usL came Lhrough me and l knew my advanced sLudenLs
would love lL" explalned new ?ork LanLra Leacher Carla 1aranLola who dlscovered
Lhls Lechnlque whlle maklng love wlLh her soul maLe and beloved !ohn
Lle on Lhe bed or floor on your back (head on a plllow for comforL and eye conLacL)
wlLh your feeL Lo each oLher's head base chakra pressed agalnsL each oLher and
Lhlghs lnLerlocklng Carla explalns ln Lhls poslLlon !ohn klsses my feeL an acL LhaL
opens up my appreclaLlon and energy so much LhaL l wanL Lo do anyLhlng Lo please
hlm l hold hls llngam ln my hands and gulde lL Lo make clrcles aL Lhe enLrance of
my yonl 1hen we make small clrcles wlLh our grolns pressed LogeLher Lo move Lhe
energy"
Lnflamlng Lhe dragon
flrsL poslLlon connecLs sex
cenLers
Carla conLlnues We help each oLher up lnLo Lhe classlcal yab yum slLLlng poslLlon
wlLh hls llngam sLlll ln my yonl so Lhe peneLraLlon ls deeper We undulaLe whlle we
do Lhe flre breaLh and Lhen draw Lhe energy up lnLo our hearLs and Lhe back of Lhe
braln 1hen we hold Lhe breaLh press our hearL cenLers LogeLher and vlsuallze splrals
of energy and flre connecLlng us and llfLlng us hlgher whlle our hearLs expand and
merge LogeLher Lxhallng we make Lhe sound 'ahhh' and allow Lhe energy Lo come
back lnLo Lhe genlLals vlsuallzlng a golden energy comlng down from Lhe unlverse
flushlng and enllvenlng all Lhe cells of our physlcal body ln Lhls way we experlence
a none[aculaLory body orgasm 1hen we go lnLo a medlLaLlve sLaLe and repeaL Lhe
bulldlngup process Lhree Llmes before !ohn decldes Lo go lnLo an e[aculaLlon"
208
1he kabazzah
lL's no wonder LhaL Lhe sexual skllls of Lhe !apanese gelshas galned such mysLlque
wlLh Amerlcan Cls durlng World War ll 1he women pracLlced an anclenL sexual arL
LhaL allowed Lhe man Lo lle bllssfully passlve 1he secreL Lhe kabazzah ln whlch Lhe
woman mounLed Lhe man and only moved her lnLernal muscles Lo brlng hlm Lo
cllmax
1he lull SLop
ln Lhe full sLop Lechnlque you freeze ln a poslLlon ln Lhe mlddle of lovemaklng (Lake
Lurns glvlng Lhe slgnal) for one mlnuLebecomlng aware of LhoughLs and sensaLlons
lnsLead of ongolng compulslve acLlvlLy 1he LasLerners belleve LhaL only wlLh such
valleys can Lhe peaks be hlgher
1he 1wo new Lrogenous Zones
1he advanced LanLra man knows Lhe full arL of pollshlng Lhe pearl (pleasurlng Lhe
woman's cllLorls) Cne new and effecLlve way Lo do Lhls ls Lhe klvln meLhod ln whlch
Lnflamlng Lhe dragon
second poslLlon connecLs
hearL cenLers and vlsuallzes
dlvlne connecLlon
209
Lhe man sLlmulaLes Lhe woman orally on Lwo
erogenous polnLs on her genlLals Lo brlng her Lo
orgasm wlLhln Lhree Lo elghL mlnuLes 1he meLhod
requlres presslng one polnL (beLween Lhe vaglnal
and anal openlngs) whlle applylng pressure wlLh
Lhe Longue on oLher polnLs locaLed on each slde of
Lhe cllLoral shafL A vldeoLape (wwwklvlnprod
com) demonsLraLes exacLly how lL's done wlLh an
lnLroducLlon by Callfornla sexologlsL aLLl 8rlLLon
1ongue lu
ln a 1aolsL pracLlce a woman sLrengLhens her
Longue by flrsL pushlng agalnsL an orange or a
grapefrulL She also sLrengLhens her vaglnal muscles
by aLLachlng welghLs Lo hold 1hese pracLlces
are descrlbed by ManLak Chla ln hls book 1ao for
Women CulLlvaLlng lemale Sexual Lnergy Slmllar
rouLlnes are descrlbed ln Chla's corollary book for
men 1aolsL SecreLs of Love CulLlvaLlng Male Sexual Lnergy
Mudras
Mudras are poslLlons of Lhe arms hands and flngers LhaL connecL Lhe energy cenLers
1here are many comblnaLlons of Lhese Lhey can be placed exLernally on many areas
of Lhe body on ouLslde polnLs correlaLlng wlLh lnner polnLs and even reached lnLernally
Lvery flnger LhaL ls used communlcaLes a dlfferenL energy whlch you musL
learn Lo become skllled ln sendlng energy paLLerns Lo your parLner
Advanced vlsuallzaLlon ln 1anLrlc Sex
lmagery seLs plcLures ln Lhe mlnd LhaL Lhe braln cannoL dlsLlngulsh from reallLy so
you are llkely Lo acL on Lhese 1aklng advanLage of Lhls sexual vlslons can lnsplre
physlcal acLlons LhaL lead Lo bllssful unlon when pracLlced ln a medlLaLlve dlsclpllned
way Pere are Lwo examples
1he LanLrlc Lrlangle vlsuallze yourself as a male godllke belng wlLh a Lrlangle
of whlLe llghL aL your Lhlrd eye LhaL polnLs downward (Lhe symbol of Lhe female
yonl) wlLh Lhe lower angle polnLlng Loward Lhe back of Lhe Longue 1he angles
become Lhe Lhree doors of llberaLlon openlng Lo Lhe wlsdom of greaL bllss
1he ShakLl shlne vlsuallze Lhe goddess ShakLl wlLh blue llghLs radlaLlng from
her body LhaL enLer your body Lhrough your genlLals and melL a blue radlance
LhroughouL your body
LcsLasy LssenLlals
1he mlddle flnger has more dlrecL
lnLense energy Lhan Lhe
fourLh flnger or plnky 8e consclous
of whlch you use wlLh
yourself or your parLner 1ouch
each oLher wlLh dlfferenL flngers
ln dlfferenL comblnaLlons on
dlfferenL body parLs leel Lhe
sensaLlons of each
210
Advanced 1unlng ln ?ou 1oo Can 8e sychlc!
eople ln love who are havlng greaL sex seem Lo really know whaL each oLher wanLs
and needs Lverybody dreams of belng so Luned ln Lo a lover LhaL you can read each
oLher's mlndsso you don'L have Lo say whaL you wanL because your parLner [usL
does or says Lhe perfecL Lhlng Llke nlcole who was ecsLaLlc when her new lover was
walklng ln Lhe sLreeL wlLh her and blurLed ouL l'm so proud Lo be wlLh you" lL was
exacLly whaL she always dreamed of hearlng Cr llke am whose beloved !lm whlspered
husklly ln her ear durlng lnLercourse ?ou're Lhe mosL beauLlful woman l've
ever known l'll never leave you" 1haL was heaven Lo her ears
1he deslre Lo be known so well ls one of Lhe reasons people go Lo psychlcs buL Lhe
LruLh ls you can Lap lnLo your own lnLulLlve powers lf you geL calm and focus you
wlll be surprlsed aL whaL you can accuraLely sense abouL your parLner uolng Lhls
dellberaLely ls called a psychlc (or energy) readlng l have been Lo many LanLrlc weekends
and massage workshops ln whlch we dld a psychlc readlng of each oLher
Lveryone ls always so surprlsed aL how lL ls posslble (afLer several prellmlnary exerclses)
Lo read anoLher person's energy (wlLhouL really knowlng hlm or her before) [usL
by puLLlng our hands close Lo Lhe oLher person's body Cnce when l dld Lhls exerclse
wlLh anoLher LanLrlka l felL sparks [umplng ouL aL my hands aL even Lwo feeL away
Lelllng me how much energy (and power) she has!
uo a slmple energy readlng wlLh your parLner SlL ln yab yum and breaLhe LogeLher
for a few mlnuLes Lo geL aLLuned WlLh eyes closed leL your hands go Lo a cerLaln
place on your parLner's body and say aloud whaLever comes Lo your mlnd uon'L censor
your words! ?ou'll be surprlsed how accuraLe you can be Some couples feel so ln
Lune afLer Lhls Lhey feel llke belng closer and maklng love lf posslble glve your parLner
whaL you read LhaL he or she needs lor example lred was readlng hls parLner
!une and heard her (energy) saylng l need you Lo hold me LlghLly llke l've always
wanLed"
LlghL SLeps ln uelLy ?oga
ln ChapLer 4 Awaken and Worshlp Lhe Cod and Coddess ln ?ou" l lnLroduced you
Lo many gods and goddesses and promlsed Lo Lell you abouL Lechnlques Lo brlng
Lhelr energles lnLo you uelLy yoga does Lhls ln Lhls exerclse you can use your favorlLe
gods and goddesses from LhaL chapLerLhe ones you mosL ldenLlfy wlLhor experlmenL
wlLh oLhers lollow Lhese elghL sLeps Lo acLuallze a parLlcular delLy Lo achleve a
cerLaln sLaLe of belng wlLhln you
1 SeL lnLenLlon MedlLaLlng on any delLy should always be Loward Lhe goals of wlsdom
compasslon and servlce Lo oLhers
2 SlL comforLably ln fronL of a plcLure or sLaLue and focus 8elax close your eyes
and leL Lhe lmage appear ln your mlnd's eye AfLer a whlle Lhe lmage wlll become
a radlanL belng of llghL ?ou wlll feel lnsplred and blessed reallzaLlons wlll
come Lo you
211
3 8equesL Lhe delLy besLow blesslngs on you
4 lcLure Lhe delLy as llghL energy enLerlng your head allowlng lL Lo descend and
Lhen rlse Lhrough your splne dlssolvlng lnLo your hearL leel Lhe essence of Lhe
delLy becomlng one wlLh you
3 locus on yanLras geomeLrlc forms LhaL are assoclaLed wlLh Lhe delLy and Lrlgger
deslred energles
6 Look aL Lhe geomeLrlcally shaped mandalas wlLh Lhe delLy's lmage LhaL Lrlggers
cerLaln lmagery or emoLlons
7 LlsLen Lo muslc lnvoklng such energles (See llsLlngs ln Appendlx C 1anLrlc
1ools" for some ldeas) Choose Cus whose LlLles lmply Lhe energy such as
LcsLaLlca or 1rance
8 erform manLras prayers and ceremonles assoclaLed wlLh Lhe delLy and characLerlsLlcs
you deslre 1hese can be slmple or very elaboraLe
8ase Chakra leasurlng
l wlll Lalk more abouL base chakra sLlmulaLlon ln Lhe nexL chapLer wlLh regard Lo male
sexual heallng buL such exploraLlon can also be a source of pleasure 8e aware LhaL
many parLners wlll crlnge aL Lhe LhoughL whlch can arouse shame embarrassmenL
1he pracLlce of delLy
yoga" medlLaLlng on Lhe
dlvlne Lo reallze a deslred
goal
212
8ase chakra sLlmulaLlon
and fears (especlally for heLerosexual men who may
assoclaLe Lhe acL wlLh belng gay) ?eL Lhe presence
of many nerve endlngs around Lhe anal openlng
can lead Lo arousal Always respecL your parLner's
boundarles go slowly and follow your parLner's
cues abouL when where and how Lo Louch
As l descrlbed ln ChapLer 3 Splnnlng ?our Wheels
and 8reaLhlng Lo LcsLasy" Lhe base chakra ls assoclaLed
wlLh lssues of safeLy and securlLy Lherefore
movlng energy from Lhe base cenLer Lo Lhe hearL
LhroaL or sex cenLers brlngs more solldlLy Lo expresslon
ln LhaL area 8rlng Lhe energy Lhere by sweeplng
your hand ln LhaL dlrecLlon and Lhen holdlng a
hand on each of Lwo areas Lo connecL Lhem
1anLra 1uLorlal
Whlle you can learn abouL LanLra
and delLles on your own such
sLudy ls besL under Lhe guldance
of an experlenced Leacher
Advanced Alds ln 1anLrlc lay
!usL llke Loys are raLed for use wlLh age groups sex alds are approprlaLe for dlfferenL
levels of lovers ln Lhelr pracLlces AlLhough Lhere ls no raLlng sysLem LrusL your lnLulLlon
abouL whlch ones could be above your head (resLralnLs anal beads) for Lhe Llme
belng 8y all means surprlse your parLner wlLh new sexual pleasures buL when lL
comes Lo some acLlvlLles you know mlghL be a sLreLch dlscuss readlness LogeLher
Cne such ald ls Lhe earls of uellghL a long sLrand of washable pearls (cosLlng abouL
$1293) LhaL can be worn around Lhe neck buL also lnserLed lnslde Lhe vaglnal or anal
canal and pulled ouL slowly Surprlse your parLner" says 1aylor Lamborne a Callfornla
LanLrlka who sells Lhem Wear Lhem when you go ouL for dlnner as a slgnal of
whaL's ln sLore for your love play when you come home LhaL evenlng"
213
LnLerlng Lhe 1lme and Space Machlne
When you are really adepL aL LanLrlc pracLlcespeclflcally medlLaLlonyou can
enLer deep sLaLes of consclousness LhaL Lake you across Llme and space Some people
can do Lhls naLurally buL mosL need a Leacher as a gulde ALLend a workshop on pasL
llves or asLral pro[ecLlon
asL Llves ConnecLed Lo Cod/Coddess
1he ldea of pasL llves mlghL be allen Lo you ln whlch case some of Lhese prlnclples
may be hard Lo accepL uL aslde your skepLlclsm for a momenL and enLerLaln posslblllLles
of poLenLlal value for your personal LransformaLlon and exploraLlon of sacred
lovlng
1he prlnclple of pasL llves ls lnLrlnslc alLhough noL essenLlal Lo LanLrlc lovlng because
Lhe gods and goddesses come from a LradlLlon LhaL ls Lraced back Lo Lhe beglnnlngs
of Llme 8ecomlng one wlLh Lhe llneage of all Lhese delLles helps you Lo unlLe
wlLh all LhaL ls all LhaL has come before and all LhaL wlll be 1hls merglng of Llme
helps you reach Lhe sLaLe of bllss wlLhln yourself and Lhe reallzaLlon LhaL you are
compleLe wlLhouL any parLner
AsLral ro[ecLlon
Advanced LanLrlc sex parLners can send Lhelr love
and sensual connecLlons Lhrough Lhe alrwaves
across space as well as Llme 1hls Lransmlsslon ls
obvlously useful for longdlsLance lovers forced
Lo be ln dlfferenL locaLlons because of [obs
schoollng or oLher reasons eople who don'L
Lhlnk Lhey have psychlc powers can flnd Lhemselves
able Lo do such pro[ecLed communlcaLlon
by deep concenLraLlon and senslng" Lhe oLher
person
earls of uellghL
LcsLasy LssenLlals
Some advanced pracLlces requlre
supervlslon or guldance of a
Leacher seek LhaL ouL freely
214
As you masLer Lhe prellmlnarles as presenLed ln Lhls book Lhere are everlncreaslng
levels of lnformaLlon and pracLlces Lo sLudy
racLlces become more advanced when Lhey add more elemenLs slmulLaneously
and lnLenslfy Lhe energy cycled and Lhe emoLlons LhaL could be
Lrlggered
Advanced pracLlces lnclude rlLuals whlLe LanLra poses poslLlons and vlsuallzaLlon
and connecLlng across Llme and space Lhrough explorlng pasL llves
Allow yourself Lo come up wlLh new pracLlces and varlaLlons 1rusL yourself Lo
experlence new dlmenslons
ChapLer 17
Sexual Peallng
Lo SeL ?ou lree
ln 1hls ChapLer
1he power of sexual heallng
Who can be a healer?
WhaL happens durlng a heallng?
Culdellnes for Lhe healer and Lhe recelver
Peallng Lhe paln of abuse
1he effecLs for Lhe healer and Lhe healed
unLll Lhls polnL l have concenLraLed on Lelllng you abouL pracLlces LhaL brlng pleasure
?es bllss and ecsLasy are Lhe goals and rewards of your LanLrlc paLh Powever along
Lhe way emoLlons wlll arlse Sexual energy ls powerful and any such power wlll Lrlgger
sLrong emoLlons 1hls could be Lhe very reason people reslsL Lhe pracLlcesLhe
emoLlons become Loo much Lo handle 1he emoLlonal release exerclses dlscussed ln
ChapLer 9 8reaklng 1hrough 8locks Lo 8llss" can help you handle LhesebuL you
mlghL wanL Lo seL aslde some Llme speclflcally Lo handle Lhese feellngs
Speclflc sesslons Lo free your expresslon from pasL paln are called sexual heallngs ln
Lhls chapLer l wlll Lell you abouL sexual heallngs how Lhey happen and whaL you
need Lo know Lo parLlclpaLe ln Lhls mosL powerful experlence
216
WhaL ls a Sexual Peallng?
Lveryone has been hurL emoLlonally ln some way by a relaLlonshlp 1hese hurLs unlnLenLlonally
geL sLored ln Lhe flrsL chakra (where feellngs of lnsecurlLy and lack of
safeLy are lodged) and ln Lhe second chakra (where feellngs of shame and lnhlblLlons
are sLored) ln men as well as women blocklng Lhe free flow of energy emoLlons and
[oy 1he blockages can come from pasL palnful relaLlonshlps abuslve sex physlcal
condlLlons (such as a hysLerecLomy) emoLlonally charged experlences (aborLlon mlscarrlages)
shame and embarrassmenL body haLe lnLlmacy and commlLmenL fears rellglous
prohlblLlons or parenLal punlshmenLs
A sexual heallng lnvolves speclflc rlLuals Lo asslsL someone Lhrough an experlence Lo
clear Lhese palns or blocks locked ln Lhe body lL ls lmporLanL Lo dlsLlngulsh Lhese
heallng sesslons from Lhe nlghLs of pleasure we dlscussed ln ChapLer 10 Clvlng Per
Lhe 8esL nlghLs Lver" and ChapLer 11 Clvlng Plm Lhe 8esL nlghLs Lver" 1he heallng
sesslons enLall more rlLuallzed lnLeracLlon ln whlch Lhe healer and recelver have
very dlsLlncL roles wlLh Lhe focus on uncoverlng and releaslng any blocks ln Lhe recelver's
sexual responses
When you heal your own pasL wounds ln Lhls way
your newfound wholeness exLends beyond [usL you
ln facL you are heallng all belngs on Lhls planeL
And when you are Lhe healer you represenL many
dlvlne belngs who have heallng powers ?our acLlons
help heal everyone sufferlng from slmllar paln and
helghLen [oy for everyone
8oLh men and women can beneflL from varlous Lechnlques
used for sexual heallng Pawallbased LanLra
and yoga masLer Charles Mulr ls a ploneer ln developlng
Lhese heallng Lechnlques for men and women and
has LaughL Lhem Lo many Lralnees and Lhousands of
couples
Who Can 8e a Pealer?
1here are Lwo Lypes of healers ?our lovlng parLner ls a
healer every day sooLhlng a beloved from Lhe sLresses
of Lhe day Powever Laklng on Lhe serlous role of
healer ln Lhls sense requlres some Lralnlng Mulr has
proven LhaL couples can learn Lo do Lhls for each oLher
ln a oneweekend course Men can learn ln one weekend
how Lo free Lhelr goddess Lo be expresslve and en[oy sex afLer years of fears LhaL
have been locked ln her vaglna from pasL mlsLreaLmenL by men" says Mulr And
women can learn how Lo heal Lhelr god from any pasL palns he may have suffered
from her or oLher experlences ln hls pasL"
LcsLasy LssenLlals
Love has heallng power AL a recenL
conference of sclenLlsLs vlslonarles
and healers (called Lhe
ropheLs Conference) scholar
Cregg 8raden reporLed on research
LhaL showed LhaL Lhe
human expresslon of love acLually
changed Lhe molecules of
waLer 1hls proves LhaL emoLlons
can change surroundlng maLLer
llnd ouL more aL www
greaLmysLeryorg
217
ChapLer 17 Sexual Peallng Lo SeL ?ou lree
CLher healers are hlghly Lralned dakas and LanLrlkas some of whom have compleLed
Mulr's exLenslve Lralnlng course (1he course ln hls meLhods requlres a Lhreeyear
commlLmenL of Lwo Lenday reLreaLs asslsLlng aL varlous lnLroducLory weekends and
produclng case reporLs) Some women and men who declde Lo be sexual healers and
offer servlces Lo Lhe publlc adverLlse on Lhe lnLerneL Some do handson heallng
uslng phrases such as goddess spoL massage" or male sacred spoL massage"
8locks Lo 8llss
!usL as Lhere are good or bad LheraplsLs and llcensed or unLralned healLh pracLlLloners of
all klnds Lhere are responslble or unLralned sexual healers 8e careful when chooslng
someone Lo whom you are enLrusLlng Lhe mosL vulnerable places ln your body and soul
use Lhe same crlLerla as ln selecLlng a good LheraplsL uo research on Lhe lnLerneL aL
LanLra slLes and neLwork wlLh people lnLeresLed ln LanLra) Ask respecLed LanLra Leachers
for referrals lnLervlew healers lnLensely abouL Lhelr experlence and check references
WhaL Pappens ln a Peallng
1o seL Lhe sLage for a heallng Lhe healer should creaLe a comforLable space Spread ouL
a preLLy sheeL or sofL blankeL LlghL candles Lnsure prlvacy and confldenLlallLy (for
example say l glve my word LhaL l honor your sharlng wlLh compleLe confldenLlallLy
WhaLever happens sLays beLween us")
SLarL wlLh a ceremony LhaL seLs boLh Lhe healer's and Lhe recelver's lnLenLlons Pold
hands and speak a dedlcaLlon 1he healer mlghL lnclude words such as l devoLe myself
Lo you and am here for you wlLh Lhe besL of love and lnLenLlon for you Lo have
Lhe mosL heallng experlence you choose" 1he recelver mlghL say l Lhank you for
belng here for my heallng and lnLend Lo be fully presenL for myself ln whaLever
comes up so LhaL l can be healed ln dolng so l wlll heal oLhers who are slmllarly
sufferlng"
Peallng Lhe Coddess
lnvlLe your goddess Lo lle down and relax Ask permlsslon Lo glve her a massage A
heallng massage has a dlfferenL lnLenLlon from Lhe relaxlng and pleasurlng massage
Massage her Lhlghs and enLlre pelvlc and sLomach area When she ls ready puL your
hand over her publc area and sLay sLlll uL your oLher hand over her hearL (lf you feel
218
she needs Lo feel your love) or over her power cenLer
(lf you feel she needs Lo feel sLronger) Make small
movemenLs around her publc area
8eleaslng palnful emoLlons opens Lhe poLenLlal Lo recelve
more pleasure ln more places for longer perlods
of Llme As a resulL even Lhough Lhe sexual heallng
ceremony ls dellberaLely noL meanL Lo arouse lL can
acLually cause helghLened arousal from relaxaLlon
LrusL and release 8e aware of Lhe recelver's poLenLlal
escapes from lnLense emoLlons such as endlng Lhe sesslon
swlLchlng aLLenLlon Lo Lhe healer or changlng
Lhe energy Lo lovemaklng CenLly lnvlLe Lhe recelver Lo
reLurn Lo Lhe momenL and emoLlon LhaL was happenlng
before Lhe wlLhdrawal
Lncourage her Lo focus on Lhe sensaLlons and noL Lo
worry lf Lhere ls burnlng or numbness (Lyplcal slgns of
emoLlonal paln LhaL ls belng broughL Lo awareness)
and encourage her Lo sLay wlLh any feellngs LhaL may
arlse lf sLrong feellngs emerge (yells screams Lhrashlng)
Lell her you are Lhere for her and leL her express
Lhem 8eassure her she ls safe and loved
When Lhe goddess says LhaL she ls ready Lo go furLher ask permlsslon Lo enLer her sacred
space Co slowly and move your flngers genLly as a parLlcular spoL mlghL Lrlgger
a reacLlon keep remlndlng her Lo breaLhe as Lhe breaLh ls cruclal Lo Lhe expresslon of
Lhe moLlons and ulLlmaLely of pleasure aL Lhe oLher end of Lhe paln
LcsLasy LssenLlals
As LanLra Leacher and masLer
body worker Marcl !avrll descrlbes
1anLrlc Louch ln sexual
heallng massage ls a speclal way
Lo approach lnLlmacy and genlLal
conLacL CompleLe compasslon
and aLLenLlon glves Lhe recelver a
chance Lo really feel lnLo Lhe
emoLlons held ln Lhe physlcal
body and Lo release Lenslon
frusLraLlons and anger LhaL could
have been sLored for years"
1he yonl massage
219
Lach heallng sesslon can be dlfferenL Cne Llme
Lhe recelver mlghL be calm and even [oyous anoLher
Llme deep paln and angulsh can be Lrlggered
never conslder any reacLlon bad or dysfuncLlonal
When Lhe Coddess Love Llquld
llows
lf Lhe woman ls feellng pleasure durlng her heallng
sesslon you can acceleraLe Lhe sLlmulaLlon of her
lnLernal vaglnal canal and sLlmulaLe Lhe C (goddess)
area as dlscussed ln ChapLer 10 (1hls sLlmulaLlon
mlghL resulL ln a female e[aculaLlon)
Peallng Lhe Cod
Men can achleve Lhe same sexual and emoLlonal heallng as women AlLhough we expecL
LhaL men more ofLen Lhan women are Lhe cause of hurL ln relaLlonshlps men
Loo suffer Lhe paln of sexual re[ecLlon or emoLlonal upseL LhaL needs heallng Sexual
heallng also helps Lhe man learn Lo appreclaLe lnLlmacy raLher Lhan [usL genlLal sex
and Lo become more open lemale parLners are very appreclaLlve and Louched by a
man openlng up exposlng emoLlon and demonsLraLlng LrusL ln her by dolng so
1he man's heallng can cenLer around hls base chakra as well as hls sex chakra Mulr's
heallng Lechnlques for Lhe Shlva lnvolve sLlmulaLlon of Lhe prosLaLe gland (called one
of Lhe male C spoLs a hoL spoL for arousal LhaL ls slmllar Lo Lhe woman's C spoL)
Some men may be uncomforLable wlLh Lhls and some crlLlcs challenge Lhe process
buL Mulr has many examples of men who found lL noL only helpful Lo heal hurLs buL
also Lo release pleasure and lncrease Lhelr capaclLy Lo love
Cvercomlng Lhe 1wo Ma[or Purdles ln Pls Peallng
uurlng Lhe sesslon Lhe woman prepares Lhe seLLlng and herself as healer ln Lhe same
way descrlbed earller for heallng Lhe goddess 1here are Lwo ma[or hurdles Lo overcome
ln men's heallng
1he man has Lo surrender Lylng on hls back ln Lhe more LradlLlonal female poslLlon
makes hlm feel addlLlonally vulnerable 1hls ls more dlfflculL for men
Lhan lL ls for women as men generally much prefer Lo be ln conLrol ConLlnually
encourage hlm Say Allow yourself Lo surrender" or l know Lhls ls dlfflculL
for you"
1anLra 1uLorlal
lor more lnformaLlon waLch Lhe
vldeos llsLed ln Appendlx C
1anLrlc 1ools" abouL C spoL
massage and female e[aculaLlon
LlsLen Lo Mulr's Lape abouL
lreelng Lhe lemale Crgasm"
220
As l menLloned ln ChapLer 11 mosL men have a greaL deal of fear and dlscomforL
abouL belng Louched or enLered ln Lhelr anal area 1hls ls because belng
Louched Lhere mlghL arouse homosexual anxleLles (alLhough Lhere are some heLerosexual
men who have dlscovered greaL pleasure ln sLlmulaLlon ln Lhe base
cenLer) 1o overcome Lhls reslsLance Lhe healer musL go very slowly resL a flnger
genLly aL LhaL area and walL for hlm Lo lnvlLe her lnslde
lnsLrucLlons for Pls Pealer
Pls heallng llke hers should always sLarL wlLh a body massage Lo relax hlm AfLer Lhe
general massage pleasure hls llngam uslng Lhe Lechnlques descrlbed ln ChapLer 11
8eassure hlm LhaL he need noL have an erecLlon buL should [usL lay back and en[oy
lL vary Lhe sLrokes uslng Lhose l've suggesLed or maklng up your own lnclude pleasurlng
Lhe LesLlcles use all your body parLs (flngers slde of Lhe arm breasLs)
As Charles Mulr lnsLrucLs move Lhe energy from hls llngam Lo hls base chakra by
sLroklng Lhe llngam and glldlng your hand Lo hls base 8esL an olled flnger aL hls
openlng walLlng for hlm Lo push agalnsL lL Lo show hls readlness Ask May l enLer
you?" 8emlnd hlm Lo breaLhe and allow whaLever feellngs come up and lnvlLe hlm
Lo heal LnLer slowly lnvlLlng hlm Lo Lense and release hls anal sphlncLer muscles
agalnsL your flnger
uolng a male sexual
heallng
221
LxpecL hlm Lo deny feellng anyLhlng Cr he may
have sLrong emoLlonal ouLbursLs (as wlLh Lhe
woman when she recelves) LhaL could lnclude
anger aL you uon'L Lake Lhese personally keep
encouraglng hlm Lo express whaLever comes up
keep reassurlng hlm ?ou're dolng greaL" l'm
here for you" Co only as far and as long as he
wanLs ?ou can reassure hlm of safeLy by breaLhlng
wlLh hlm and remlndlng hlm Lo breaLhe
Lhls ls reassurlng when he ls deep ln Lhe process
Peallng Lhe aln of Abuse
Sexual heallngs can have dramaLlc effecLs ln
cases of abuse Sadly so many women have suffered
from sexual abuse of one sorL or anoLher
causlng Lhem Lo feel vlolaLed or Laken advanLage
of lor example many women l have counseled
have been exLremely LraumaLlzed by pasL abuslve
experlences wlLh men ln whlch Lhey feel Lhey were pressured lnLo havlng sex or
performlng a cerLaln sex acLeven wlLhouL forceand afLerward felL used" and
angry 1hese feellngs bulld over Llmeeven yearscreaLlng low selfesLeem and dlsLrusL
of men
lL ls lmporLanL Lo noLe however LhaL men also have been sexually physlcally or
emoLlonally abused As a socleLy we are [usL becomlng senslLlve Lo Lhls lL can and
does happen Cne man l know CarlLon ! 8uller had Lhe courage Lo wrlLe a book
LcsLasy LssenLlals
1here are four male C spoLs 1he Lwo exLernal ones are Lhe frenulum (knobllke proLruslon
on Lhe underslde of Lhe penls where Lhe Llp meeLs Lhe shafL) and perlneum (space
beLween Lhe LesLlcles and anal openlng) 1he Lwo lnLernal ones are lnslde hls anal canal ln
a sllghL lndenLaLlon (reached by curllng a flnger Loward Lhe fronL wall ln a comehlLher
acLlon) and hlgher lnslde Lhe anal canal (rubblng around or on Lhe prosLaLe gland) !usL
as wlLh Lhe woman Lhls sacred space can house pasL palns memorles of elLher real or
lmaglned hurLs re[ecLlons lnLruslons or abuse
8locks Lo 8llss
uon'L lnLerrupL a recelver's
process by saylng uon'L worry
abouL LhaL" or uon'L cry" because
LhaL sLops Lhe process Also
be careful Lo noL lnLerrupL because
you are frlghLened or
LhreaLened only do so lf you
feel Lhe person ls ln Loo much
emoLlonal dlsLress Lo conLlnue
222
abouL hls experlences of sufferlng from sexual abuse and Lhe sLeps he has Laken Lo recover
ln SLolen lnnocence 1he AuLoblography of a LosL Soul (lalr WeaLher ubllcaLlons
2001)
1anLra 1ales
A sexual heallng can be a powerful release LhaL ls llke a mlracle for a woman who has
been abused l have wlLnessed many such heallngs for example ln one Leacher Lralnlng
course we observed Mulr work wlLh one woman who had been abused Pe conLlnually
offered encouraglng lnsLrucLlons such as breaLhe" and sLay wlLh Lhe feellng" and used
experL hand movemenLs She reslsLed aL flrsL buL Lhen screamed as lf she were reexperlenclng
Lhe earller Lrauma As Lhe feellngs lnLenslfled she appeared Lo be rellvlng a prlor
aLLack buL Lhls Llme Lold her aLLacker off 1hls empowermenL was essenLlal Lo her heallng
AfLerward her faclal expresslon and body relaxed and she began Lo express slgns of
pleasurelaLer reporLlng LhaL she felL as lf a huge block had been removed from her lnsldes
and from her soul
Pandllng LmoLlons ln a Peallng
Cf course emoLlons can come up naLurally when you have sex! l have cerLalnly heard
enough sLorles from women or from Lhelr parLners ln whlch Lhe woman has crled
hysLerlcally durlng or afLer sex much Lo boLh her and her parLner's panlc Cr she
mlghL break ouL ln laughLer causlng hlm Lo Lhlnk
Am l dolng someLhlng funny? l dldn'L Lhlnk so!" l always
offer reassurance LhaL Lhese are naLural reacLlons
from powerful pools of energy LhaL are sLlmulaLed and
belng released ln a blg bursL Crylng l always explaln
does noL always mean presenL paln as l menLloned ln
ChapLer 10 lL can be Lhe resulL of release from paln or
Lhe conLrasL beLween presenL lovlng and pasL hurL
8ules for Lhe Pealer
LffecLlve heallng requlres careful aLLunemenL Lo Lhe
person's energy lor Lhls reason you need greaL sklll Lo
do a heallng and should only perform one afLer you
have been Lo a workshop wlLh a quallfled LanLra
8locks Lo 8llss
When sexual abuse ls uncovered
ln a heallng furLher help should
be arranged by supporL groups
(of oLhers wlLh slmllar experlences)
and professlonal Lherapy
Lo work Lhrough Lhe Lrauma
223
Leacher 1here are cerLaln condlLlons for Lhe heallng sesslon Lo be effecLlve for Lhe recelver
as well as Lhe healer
CreaLe a safe space physlcally 1he recelver musL be able Lo relax and feel safe
1hls sLarLs from Lhe slmple provlslon of prlvacy and quleL (phones off Lhe hook
locked doors) and exLends Lo an energeLlc feellng LhaL he or she can LrusL Lhe recelver
and leL go ln Lhls seLLlng
8eauLlfy Lhe space A person feels more aL
ease when Lhe seLLlng ls clean peaceful and
lovely ulm Lhe llghLs or llghL some candles
uL flowers and oLher lLems LhaL lnvoke naLural
elemenLs around such as a bowl of waLer
and some rocks (for earLh energy)
1ake care of whaLever you have Lo so you can
be fully presenL aL Lhe momenL 1hls means
geL clean yourself make whaLever phone calls
you need Lo or go Lo Lhe baLhroom so LhaL
Lhese Lhlngs are noL on your mlnd durlng Lhe
sesslon Cround yourself beforehand so you
are noL ln your own head and can be aware
of Lhe recelver's needs 8e aware of whaLever
problems confllcLs or needs you have (anger aL your parLner frusLraLlon belng
Lurned on) as Lhese could lnfluence your reacLlons Lo Lhe recelver's process SeL
Lhese aslde so you don'L brlng Lhem lnLo Lhe sesslon and pro[ecL onLo your
recelver
SeL lnLenLlons verballze Lo yourself whaL you wanL Lo have happen Speaklng
your lnLenLlons makes Lhem more llkely Lo happen Say l lnLend Lhls sesslon
for (Lhe recelver's) hlghesL good keeplng my
own needs ouL of lL"
8e respecLful especlally of personal boundarles
8emember LhaL you are always equal
even lf Lhe recelver seems ln paln now ay
aLLenLlon Lo how Lhe recelver feels and whaL
hls or her needs and llmlLs are whaL ls okay
or noL okay for you Lo say do or Louch
8e empaLhlc 1hls doesn'L mean feellng plLy
raLher lL means puLLlng yourself ln Lhe recelver's
place as lf you are lnslde hls or
her skln
8locks Lo 8llss
A healer llke any LheraplsL musL
noL use someone for hls or her
own sexual or emoLlonal graLlflcaLlon
or needs 1hls ls boLh uneLhlcal
and crlmlnal
8e klnd Lo yourself as Lhe healer
lf someLhlng ls Loo much for you
(Lhe emoLlons are Loo hlgh for
example) lL ls beLLer Lo leL Lhe
recelver know Lhan Lo proceed
and muddy Lhe experlence
224
uon'L Lake anyLhlng LhaL happens personally 1he recelver mlghL geL upseL abouL
someLhlng beLween you LhaL happened ln real llfe buL usually Lhese emoLlons
can be Lraced Lo earller Lraumas and feellngs never defend [udge correcL or
crlLlclze
lollow Lhe recelver's energy Cf course you mlghL have some Lechnlques ln
mlnd such as Lhose l have lnLroduced you Lo ln Lhls book buL follow whaL Lhe
recelver wanLs and needs 1hls means he or she ls ln conLrol of whaL happens
and when noL you
8ules for Lhe 8ecelver
1here are equlvalenL requlremenLs for Lhe recelver as for Lhe healer as shown ln Lhe
followlng llsL 1hls follows Lhe LanLrlc prlnclple LhaL boLh people are creaLlng a clrcle
of energy and are equal 1he recelver ls also healer and vlce versa
CommlL Lo belng presenL ln Lhe momenL Avold dlsLracLlons and keep your
mlnd focused on Lhe here and now
8especL yourself ?ou're noL a vlcLlm wlLh a sexual dysfuncLlon buL a beauLlful
belng who wanLs Lo be fully released of anyLhlng LhaL holds you back from experlenclng
Lhe full poLenLlal of your love
repare your body 1ake a baLh brush your LeeLh uress up ln someLhlng LhaL
makes you feel wonderful Cround yourself Lo be ln your body noL ln your head
wlLh worrles anger and dlsappolnLmenLs
SeL your lnLenLlon verballze Lo yourself whaL you wanL Lo have happen
Speaklng your lnLenLlons makes Lhem more llkely Lo happen Say l lnLend Lo
relax durlng Lhls Llme and allow myself Lo experlence whaLever happens for Lhe
hlghesL good of myself my healer and all lnvolved"
SeL your boundarles LeL Lhe healer know whaL your llmlLs are Are Lhere any
parLs of your body LhaL you do noL wanL Louched? Any acLlons you do noL wanL
hlm or her Lo Lake?
Make requesLs Say whaL you wanL from Lhe healer accepLlng Lhe healer's
boundarles Loo
AppreclaLe Lhe healer lL ls a blg responslblllLy for someone Lo underLake a
sexual heallng for you LhaL deserves your graLlLude
AL Lhe Lnd of a Sesslon
AfLer a powerful experlence a person needs Lo be nurLured and held Cover Lhe recelver
wlLh a blankeL or beLLer yeL ask lf you can hold hlm or her and how he or she
223
would llke Lo be held A good poslLlon ls a nurLurlng one elLher spoonlng Lhe person
by laylng agalnsL hls or her body ouLllne from Lhe back or lylng over Lhe recelver's
chesL area (because Lhe hearL ls very open and vulnerable now)
A sexual heallng ls a powerful experlence wheLher you laugh cry or Lhlnk noLhlng
much happened Much dld happenbecause a sLrong lnLenLlon was seL and because
you boLh dlrecLed lnLense energy ln some way SomeLlmes Lhe effecLs mlghL noL be
felL for days weeks or monLhs laLer Share whaL you experlenced and ask for feedback
lf you wanL Lo or be sllenL and allow Lhe experlence Lo be lnLegraLed lnLo your belng
ComforLlng and carlng
afLer a heallng
8e klnd Lo yourself afLer a heallng recognlzlng LhaL you have been Lhrough a powerful
Llme uon'L [usL [ump up and go abouL your buslness lnsLead
1ake Llme Lo allow Lhe experlence Lo slnk ln and be absorbed lnLo your belng
SLay sLlll lylng ln bed quleLly 8reaLhe naLurally LeL your mlnd and body resL
urlnk waLer Lven lf your body dldn'L move much Lo Lhe ouLslde world lL
moved a greaL deal lnLernally As afLer any lnLense physlcal exerclse drlnk waLer
Lo replenlsh your hydraLlon
1ake a shower or baLh as waLer sooLhes Lhe soul and washes away some of Lhe
lnLenslLy of Lhe emoLlons aL LhaL momenL and helps you LranslLlon lnLo your
dally llfe
226
Are Peallngs LffecLlve?
1here are no research sLudles LhaL have been done Lo show Lhe effecLs of heallngs (l
dld Lhe flrsL research on Lhe effecLs of LanLrlc sex Lralnlngs whlch l'll Lalk abouL ln
ChapLer 24 Whlch aLh ls 8lghL for ?ou?") 8uL many reporLs from men and
women who have elLher been Lralned by Charles Mulr or couples who have Laken hls
weekend workshops aLLesL Lo welcome and poslLlve changes Some even feel profoundly
Lransformed
eople ofLen wanL Lo know wheLher Lhere ls ever a
polnL aL whlch Lhey can say l am healed" lL's Lhe
same quesLlon l have goLLen from men and women
who go Lhrough any oLher klnd of Lherapy who wanL
Lo know when lL ls over and Lhey have been cured
Pere are some ways Lo measure progress ln sexual
heallngs
1he decreased lnLenslLy of emoLlonal paln
lncreased feellng of LrusL
lncreased ablllLy Lo experlence [oy
More feellngs of glvlng and recelvlng love
Less physlcal paln upon Louchlng varlous parLs
of Lhe genlLals
More freedom ln sexual expresslon wlLh a
parLner
1he experlenced healer wlll also be able Lo Lell
wheLher Lhere ls reduced Lrauma ln Lhe genlLals and
more [oy ln Lhe person ln general Mulr has sald LhaL
Lhe healed goddess feels more molsL lnslde her body moves more freely her vaglnal
Llssue ls sofLer her vaglna ls more open and welcomlng 1he vaglnal muscles become
more elasLlc and responslve Lo Lhe llngam able Lo pulse and massage Lhe llngam expandlng
Lo recelve hlm and conLracLlng Lo embrace hlm She wlll look younger make
more [oyful nolses and even smlle more!
Some people mlghL requlre many sexual heallng sesslons especlally ln cases ln whlch
Lhere has been abuse of any klnd and parLlcularly sexual abuse CLhers mlghL feel Lhe
need for only a few such sesslons
Some LanLrlc parLners requesL a sexual heallng when Lhey are feellng sLressed and
wanL Lo concenLraLe on releaslng some lnner blocks even lf Lhey are noL feellng a serlous
problem ?ou can requesL such a sesslon aL any Llme remember lL does noL have
Lo sLarL wlLh or lead Lo paln !oy can moLlvaLe heallng Loo!
LcsLasy LssenLlals
1he process of faclllLaLlng someone
else's heallng can also heal
Lhe healer 8elng energeLlcally
and empaLheLlcally connecLed Lo
Lhe oLher person Lhe healer may
go Lhrough equally lnLense experlences
As a resulL Lhe healer
mlghL wanL or need Lo process
whaLever comes up for hlm or
her ueclde on Lhe besL Llme Lo
do Lhls
227
A sexual heallng ls a powerful sesslon LhaL should be Laken serlously lL can
lead Lo lnLense resulLs whereby sLoredup or even fleeLlng palns can be
released
lf you do a sexual heallng on your parLner lL ls besL Lo have Lralnlng from an
experlenced LanLra Leacher aL a speclal workshop or prlvaLe coachlng
ApproprlaLe condlLlons should be seL for Lhe heallng sesslon lncludlng creaLlng
safeLy and seLLlng boundarles
1he recelver of a heallng has a responslblllLy Lo Lell Lhe healer whaL he or she
wanLs and needs
eople who adverLlse Lhemselves as sexual healers should have exLenslve
Lralnlng by a professlonal you should lnqulre abouL Lhelr background and
experlence

ChapLer 18
Sex Song
and vldeoLape
ln 1hls ChapLer
1he lmporLance of muslc Lo seL Lhe mood
Cus Lo spark your LanLrlc Lhrllls
1he new speclalLy of LanLrlc vldeos LhaL LanLallze and Leach
lcklng vldeos LhaL are rlghL for you
1anLra on Lhe sllver screen over Lhe alr and on Lhe lnLerneL
1anLrlc lovemaklng ls abouL arouslng Lhe senses and lncludes even more exqulslLe aLLenLlon
Lo deLall Lhan oLher sex LradlLlons 1haL means sLlmulaLlng your aural as well
as vlsual senses 1hese senses are lmporLanL ln your LanLrlc pracLlce so ln Lhls chapLer
l glve you some suggesLlons abouL whlch Cus and vldeos can help your love llfe (fllp
Lo Appendlx C 1anLrlc 1ools" for deLalls on how Lo order Lhese maLerlals) Some of
Lhe vldeos have greaL Llps LhaL even l en[oyedand l LhoughL l'd seen and heard lL all!
1anLrlc Muslc
Muslc ls key Lo seLLlng Lhe mood of your LanLrlc sesslons ln Lhls chapLer you'll learn
how Lo use sound Lo spark your mood and some muslc LhaL ls Lhe besL for your pracLlces
LlsL your favorlLe muslc for lovemaklng ln Lhe exerclse ln Lhls secLlon Ask your
parLner Lo llsL hls or her cholces Loo and see lf your cholces overlap uL your cholces
ln order as lf you puL Lhem ln a flveCu changer Make sure Lo ldenLlfy Lhe mood Lhe
230
muslc evokes as LhaL wlll deLermlne Lhe Lone of Lhe lovemaklng experlence and glve
you some clues abouL wheLher you and your parLner wlll be on Lhe same wavelengLh
Muslc for Cur 1anLra Love uaLe
ArLlsL Cu 1lLle Speclflc CuL Mood
My cholces
1
2
3
4
3
CLhers
My parLner's cholces
1
2
3
4
3
CLhers
l have my favorlLe LanLrlc muslc handy Lo load lnLo my Cu changer or Lo Lake wlLh
me when l lead LanLrlc semlnars or Leach LanLra aL workshops or conferences 1he
mood LhaL Lhe muslc evokes varles and so applles Lo dlfferenL LanLrlc pracLlces for example
medlLaLlon massage yoga or danclng up a sLorm (as ln Lhe ShakLl Shake or
uynamlc MedlLaLlon descrlbed ln Lhls book) l have favorlLe arLlsLs ln Lhe hard rock
grunge and even heavy meLal sLyle and oLhers llke Lhe classlc 8arry WhlLe LhaL are
undenlably meanL for seducLlon 1here's an lncreaslng llbrary of muslc LhaL ls speclflcally
deslgned Lo be compaLlble wlLh and faclllLaLe LanLrlc pracLlces and moods 1hese
are deslgned Lo open Lhe hearL and sLlr progress from sensuallLy and Lenderness Lo
LanLallzaLlon and eroLlca Lo a crescendo of ecsLasy and bllss
My favorlLes lnclude
SplrlL of Love by Awakenlng PearL lL has a greaL song Clve ?ourself Lo Love"
whlch l play over and over aL classes
!ourney lnLo Love by Sophla wlLh anoLher Lerrlflc song l play all Lhe Llme ln
classes Peal Me WlLh ?our Love"
231
ChapLer 18 Sex Song and vldeoLape
Sex 'n' vloleLs by my good frlend and brllllanL Maul muslclan !alla LarLhschlld
whose song Learnlng Pow Lo Love" ls beauLlful for lnLlmaLe seLLlngs CLher
songs speak of honorlng Lhe goddess or Lhe envlronmenL
8aphael and kuLlra's Muslc Lo ulsappear ln whlch sweeps you lnLo an ecsLaLlc
quleLly peaceful sLaLe All Lhelr muslc lnvokes beauLlful prayers and rlLuals such
as 1he Calllng" and rayer"
Cabrlelle 8oLh's Waves (alLhough oLhers of hers are equally exclLlng such as
8ones 1rance 1oLem or 8lLual) Some of Lhese have one of my favorlLe muslc
sLyles whaL l called Lechno Lrlbal Lrance" 8oLh's muslc Lakes you Lhrough varlous
sLages of acLlvlLy and sensuallLy
8oberL lrey's Cpenlng Lo Love a classlc ln Lhe LanLra world for hearLopenlng and
lnsplrlng heallng and personal growLh (also used by mldwlves churches and
hosplce groups) 1racks 6 and 7 are especlally valuable aL Lhe end of a LanLrlc
medlLaLlon or lovemaklng sesslon
8lver of 8omance and Worlds of Love by aul 8amana uas Sllbey wlLh plano
melodles LhaL lnsplre a romanLlc mood Sllbey descrlbes how he channeled"
Lhe muslc meanlng LhaL he Luned ln Lo ecsLaLlc sLaLes and leL hls flngers [usL
flow over Lhe keyboard
WhaL Makes 1anLrlc Muslc Speclal?
CerLaln Lhemes are emphaslzed ln LanLrlc muslc Lo faclllLaLe your pracLlces 1hese lnclude
choruses LhaL creaLe harmony beLween lovers rhyLhms LhaL are conslsLenL wlLh
breaLhlng paLLerns hypnoLlc repeLlLlons Lo sLlll Lhe mlnd and Lrlbal sounds Lo acLlvaLe
Lhe body
1anLrlc songs lmply blesslng Lhe beloved as ln 8lessed Cne" wrlLLen by lrey and
Ashana Lobody
Love so dlvlne love so compelllng
Love wlLh a radlance LhaL ouLshlnes Lhe sun
ln your dlvlnlLy l see my reflecLlon
ln your Lender glance l flnd my hearL
Chorus Woman and man Lhere ls no separaLlon
Coddess and Cod are one and Lhe same
Chlldren and elder unlLed LogeLher
All re[olce aL Lhe sound of your name
8reaLh of my llfe you shall always be wlLh me
SweeLesL 8eloved and [oy of my hearL
LeL me reLurn Lo you all you have glven
1hls Lreasure unfaLhomed
1hls glfL of your love
232
1anLrlc songs also lnvoke honorlng as ln Lhls wonderful message from !alla
LarLhschlld
l have Lo feel honored by you 1haL's whaL lL comes down Lo
?ou speak Lo me wlLh words of love buL l feel lncompleLe
Words are flneshould be enough buL l llsLen wlLh my feeL
1o my feeL love ls a verb lL's whaL you do LhaL wlll be heard
l have Lo feel honored by you And when l feel honored by you
1hen l wlll unleash my passlon for you
Some LanLra Leachers have made Lapes LhaL Lalk you Lhrough a LransformaLlve LanLrlc
experlence LxcellenL ones ln Lhls genre lnclude 8aphael and kuLlra's 1anLrlc Wave
Cceanlc 1anLra whlch guldes you Lhrough Lhe sLeps of ecsLaLlc lovemaklng from
breaLhlng Lo sensuous Louch Lo hearL openlng and
sex maglc AnoLher ls 8oberL lrey's lnner Male/lnner
lemale a gulded medlLaLlon LhaL evokes male and female
energles and brlngs Lhem LogeLher ln a sacred
lnner marrlage ln whlch lnLegraLlon cooperaLlon and
harmony are posslble
LeL Lhe Muslc llow 1hrough ?ou
1anLra ls flow of energy erformlng LanLrlc muslc llke
LanLrlc breaLhlng Lechnlques ls always aLLuned Lo Lhe
energy of Lhe momenL 1he mosL glfLed muslclans
know LhaL Lhey are ln Lhe flow feellng Lhe muslc from
Lhe lnslde l knew LhaL maglcal feellng when l played
ln a band l loved playlng Lhe same seLs over and over
and really geLLlng lnLo Lhe flow of Lhe muslc Muslclans
feel" Lhe muslc keyboards vlrLuoso and daka
aul 8amana uas calls hls muslc and performance
vlbraLlonal engorgemenL" and LanLromaLlc" 1hls
means l aLLune myself Lo Lhe plano as a femlnlne
dlvlne enLlLy" says aul l approach Lhe keys as 'her'
senses and respond Lo Lhe lnner flow wlLh approprlaLe
melody rhyLhm flow and passlon" 1hls ls Lhe energy
wlLh whlch he also plays" on hls beloved's body
Soundlng Chakras
ln ChapLer 2 1he 8aslcs ?es ?ln ?ang ?onl and ?ab
?um" l descrlbed Lhe sounds assoclaLed wlLh cerLaln
energy cenLers ChanLlng Lhese sounds evokes Lhelr
energles lam vam ram ham yam ooo oomm volce
and sound healer karln Schelde suggesLs uslng your
1anLra 1uLorlal
noL surprlslngly many maglcal
LanLrlc muslclans come from Lhe
lsland of Maul on Pawall Lhe
land of gods and goddesses and
San lranclsco known for belng
experlmenLal ln all realms of explorlng
consclousness
Make a speclal Cu for your lovemaklng
1ake Lurns belng Lhe dlsc
[ockey durlng a lovemaklng daLe
See whaL moods each of you
llkes Lo creaLe
233
volce on your parLner's body Lo evoke energy uL your mouLh close Lo your parLner's
chesL and make any sound aL flrsL Lo express yourself Lhen Lhe ahhh" sound of Lhe
hearL chakra lL ls fasclnaLlng ln karln's workshops Lo see how some people cry when
Lhls ls done feellng Louched ln Lhelr hearLs Per audloLape Classlc Sound Peallng Lakes
you Lhrough Lhe chakra sounds Lo achleve releases
LcsLasy LssenLlals
1anLrlc muslc mlghL sound new age" buL lL's noL always slow and melodlc ln facL some
LanLrlc exerclses descrlbed ln Lhls book have chaoLlc rhyLhms and fasL beaLs lnLended Lo
creaLe fasLer breaLhlng and acLlvaLlon of Lhe body 1he Csho dynamlc medlLaLlon ls a
good example of a chaoLlc acLlon meanL Lo energlze progresslng Lo quleL medlLaLlon
sLaLes Cabrlelle 8oLh's 8ones Cu ls a good example of muslc cuLs LhaL progresslvely move
Lhrough Lhe sLages of relaxaLlon arousal and resoluLlon ln a Lyplcal lovemaklng sequence
ChanLs 1haL Charge ?our ConnecLlon
Pave you ever heard a song LhaL you can'L geL ouL of your head? When LhaL happens
you are no longer Lhe slnger Lhe song ls slnglng lLself 1haL ls how chanLs work As a
form of manLra a chanL puLs you ln a medlLaLlve sLaLe by slmple repeLlLlve and
memorable rhyLhms CfLen abouL love buL never sad llke Lhe blues chanLlng asslsLs
you ln Lhe [ourney Lo [oy and peace Lyrlcs can sound almosL llke a LanLra lesson lnvoklng
god/goddess grace and beauLy and choruses LhaL hypnoLlcally sLlll Lhe mlnd
and move Lhe body CfLen Lhey lnsplre Lrlbal movemenLs and are done aL LanLrlc
gaLherlngs elLher ln clrcle or free form
Penry Marshall masLer of chanLs ln Cus such as ManLras Maglcal Songs of ower offers
manLras for dlfferenL purposes 1he manLra Lo aLLracL a parLner evolved from
Marshall's own problems flndlng a maLe Pere's how lL worked for hlm llrsL he
found hlmself chanLlng As l conLlnued chanLlng l began Lo feel LhaL Lhe manLra
was sendlng a slgnal from all levels of my belng Lo my soul maLe and l knew l'd flnd
her" AfLer conslderable pracLlce chanLlng and lmaglnlng sendlng Lhe slgnal he began
Lo hear from frlends abouL some woman who seemed Lo meeL hls expecLaLlons WlLh
more chanLlng Lhelr paLhs crossed repeaLedly and Lhey evenLually goL LogeLher for a
daLe Success Lakes aL leasL 40 days of Lhls pracLlce" Marshall explalns buL you
musL slng from Lhe hearL 108 Llmes every day or else sLarL from scraLch" Marshall
234
also Lells Lhe sLory of a man who was esLranged from
hls wlfe and began chanLlng AfLer a whlle he had a
vlslon of hls wlfe as a beauLlful goddess and Lhey goL
back LogeLher
ManLras can also be sung Lo a beloved Lo helghLen Lhe
love energy 1anLra Leacher 8oberL lrey wrlLes songs
LhaL are sung aL many LanLra gaLherlngs because Lhe
lyrlcs sLlmulaLe lovlng feellngs and are meanL Lo be
sung Lo oLhers (noL Lo menLlon Lhey're repeaLed over
and over maklng Lhe words and Lune easy Lo remember!)
l behold Lhe beauLy ln you l know you are dlvlne
l am lnsplred by your LlghL Shlva ShakLl am l
AnoLher beauLlful chorus Lo slng Lo a beloved ls Lhls
one from LanLrlc muslclan Sophla
l open my hearL Lo you
and leL your love flow Lhrough me
1anLrlc vldeos 1haL 1anLallze as Well as 1each
WhaL you see ls as lmporLanL as whaL you hear ln LanLra lnsLrucLlonal sex vldeos are
becomlng more and more popular ln Lhe markeL of sexorlenLed vldeos 1anLrlc sex
vldeos usually cosL beLween $1999 and $3993 buL Lhey're worLh lL ?ou can waLch
Lhem more Lhan once and even use Lhem as background lnsplraLlon Lo your lovemaklng
wlLhouL paylng speclflc aLLenLlon Lo lL
Cf all Lhe hundreds of lnsLrucLlonal sex vldeos l have
seen over Lhe years mosL of Lhose geared Loward
LanLra are appeallng and lnLeresLlng Some have capLlvaLlng
LanLrlc soundLracks gorgeous LanLrlc lmagery
and vlsual deplcLlons of goddesses colors and speclal
effecLs LhaL evoke Lhe vlslons of blendlng energles dlssolvlng
lnLo bllss
8esearch by recognlzed professlonal sex LheraplsLs has
shown Lhe value of vldeo AsslsLed 1herapy (vA1) ln
helplng couples geL over lnhlblLlons abouL sex learn
speclflc Lechnlques Lo solve sexual lssues (premaLure
e[aculaLlon anorgasmla) and learn healLhy sexual
funcLlonlng 1oronLobased psychlaLrlsL and sex LheraplsL
lrank Sommers has couples waLch hls vldeos aL
home or ln anoLher room and Lhen dlscuss whaL Lhey
saw
LcsLasy LssenLlals
1anLrlc songwrlLer Mlchael
SLlllwaLer who holds ChanLWave
CelebraLlons ln San lranclsco
descrlbes uslng song and slnglng
as movemenL LhaL carrles awareness
lnLo Lhe fleld of Lhe ecsLaLlc
open hearL uslng song and
chanL as Lhe vehlcle"
1anLra 1uLorlal
8eporLedly more Lhan 10000
new LlLles ln Lhe adulL vldeo caLegory
were released lasL year
wlLh renLals LoLallng more Lhan
$3 bllllon Cbvlously Lhere's
an lnLeresL ln seelng Lhe sub[ecL
of sex on cellulold
233
Many LanLrlc vldeos conLaln valuable lovemaklng Llps for example lessons on Lechnlques
for Lhe man Lo delay e[aculaLlon by conLracLlng hls C muscles flrmly and frequenLly
uon'L belleve Lhe myLh LhaL men are vlsual and women are noL Women can be [usL
as sexually sLlmulaLed by whaL Lhey see as men 1haL's why Lhe LanLrlc man dresses
up for hls goddess on her nlghL and dances for herLo glve her a vlsual dellghL
8esearch even shows LhaL women are renLlng eroLlc fllms ln lncreaslng numbers
WaLch vldeos on your own or wlLh a parLner use Lhe vldeos for en[oymenL or as a
way Lo learn abouL yourself and your relaLlonshlps Pere are some key quesLlons Lo
ask yourself
WhaL scenes made me exclLed or anxlous? WhaL ls golng on ln Lhose scenes LhaL
relaLes Lo my llfe and relaLlonshlps?
WhaL can l learn from Lhe vldeo? Would l feel comforLable acLlng ouL a scene l
llked?
Pow comforLable am l leLLlng my spouse know LhaL l am waLchlng Lhese vldeos?
Can l Lalk Lo my parLner abouL whaL we see?
1he kama SuLra Serles vldeos wlLh a 1anLrlc 1wlsL
Some companles speclallze ln sex vldeos and have a long hlsLory of such lnvolvemenL
Several are even run by Lralned sex LheraplsLs who have spenL years ln Lhe fleld
sLudylng and Leachlng abouL sexuallLy Cne of Lhese ls ur Mlchael erry Lhe sexologlsL
who dld Lhe orlglnal research on Lhe C spoL
erry's company Access lnsLrucLlonal Medla has a
number of vldeos perfecLly sulLed Lo show you
whaL oLher people do sexually 1hese couplesfrlendly
fllms have [usL Lhe rlghL mlx of lnsLrucLlon
and sLlmulaLlng eroLlca 1he new Lovers Massage
vldeo presenLs clear lnsLrucLlon on glvlng and recelvlng
sensual pleasure 1here's nudlLy buL no expllclL
sexual acLlvlLy Sexual Massage ls much more
expllclL showlng acLual massage sLrokes for Lhe
erogenous zones lncludlng Lhe C spoL
1he kama SuLra serles hosLed by erry and
Callfornla sexologlsL aLLl 8rlLLon llves up Lo lLs
name lL comblnes anclenL secreLs and modern
Lechnlques you're learnlng abouL ln Lhls book 1he
seL lncludes kama SuLra 1anLra and 1ao 1he
AnclenL and LroLlc 1echnlques for lncredlble Sexual
leasure 1he LcsLasy of LxoLlc Sex 1he !oys of 1oLal
Sexual LcsLasy and PoL Sex ln LroLlc ArL 1he laLLer ls
llke Laklng a Lrlp around Lhe world revlewlng sex
LcsLasy LssenLlals
Access Medla's vldeo 1he
Amazlng C SpoL and lemale
L[aculaLlon shows an lnslde vlew
as never before seen on vldeo of
Lhe lnslde of Lhe vaglna durlng
sLlmulaLlon of Lhe C spoL and female
e[aculaLlon Seelng Lhe
molsL llnlng and colorlng of Lhe
lnLernal female organ provldes a
poslLlve lmage LhaL can help ralse
selfesLeem
236
ln anclenL and modern Llmes and brlnglng museums of eroLlc arL Lo llfe erry quoLes
Lhe kama SuLra saylng ?ou can have healLh wealLh and splrlLual wellbelng buL
wlLhouL good sex you have noLhlng"
Ponorlng Lhe Coddess on vldeo
?ou can read abouL how Lo honor Lhe goddess buL seelng lL happen wlLh beauLlful
lmagery can glve you exLra lnsplraLlon Charles and Carollne Mulr have made a beauLlful
fllm abouL LanLra and female e[aculaLlon 1he SecreLs of lemale Sexual LcsLasy
conLalns deLalled lnsLrucLlons and ls eroLlc and vlsually exqulslLe wlLh gorgeous
Pawallan scenery orlglnal LanLrlc soundLracks (lncludlng by !alla LarLhschlld) and
orlglnal LanLrlc arLwork LhaL ls a slghL Lo behold ln lLself 1he Mulrs narraLe and
demonsLraLe Lhe processes of Lhelr workshops 1he fllm ls expllclL buL noL xraLed
and shows sexual lovlng lnfused wlLh lnLlmacy and carlng 1he vldeo lncludes secreLs
of eroLlc klsslng and Louch Lechnlques Lo achleve male e[aculaLory conLrol and lnsLrucLlons
abouL how Lo do Lhe female sacred spoL (C spoL) massage and achleve female
e[aculaLlon (a Loplc on whlch Lhe Mulrs are Lruly experLs)
CLher vldeos
lnlLlaLe SecreLs of Sex and SplrlL Pow Lo Worshlp Lach CLher ln 8ed shows lovemaklng
Llps and demonsLraLlons by maLure couple aul 8amana uas and Marllena 1here ls
loLs of useful lnformaLlon here Loo wlLh Lhe mosL powerful lessons belng Lhe use of
muslc ln lovemaklng and hummlng on Lhe yonl as muslc ls 8amana uas's experLlse
AnclenL SecreLs of Sexual LcsLasy for Modern Lovers lncludes commenLs from many of Lhe
Lop Leachers book auLhors and workshop leaders ln LanLra lncludlng Lhe Mulrs Lhe
8amsdales nlk uouglas and MargoL Anand lnformaLlonal sound blLes from Lhese experLs
are lnLerspersed wlLh sLaged buL sensuous scenes of flve couples demonsLraLlng
LanLrlc Lechnlques such as breaLh conLrol e[aculaLory conLrol goddess spoL sLlmulaLlon
lovemaklng rlLuals fullbody orgasms and slmulLaneous orgasm Lorl SLar's experL
demonsLraLlon of breaLhlng Lechnlques ls very helpful (ln case you can'L geL Lo a
workshop and learn lL ln person)
SluLs and Coddesses ls by Annle Sprlnkle who has worked as a porn sLar sex counselor
and workshop leader Per very rlsque vldeo ls presenLed llke a LransformaLlonal
workshop" LhaL ls vlsually fun very enLerLalnlng and full of exerclses for women Lo
brlng ouL Lhelr lnner goddesses and allow wlld expresslon Per suggesLlons lnclude
penclllng your eyebrows Lo look llke an LgypLlan playlng wlLh wlgs decoraLlng your
body wlLh [ewelry changlng cloLhes Lo change your consclousness (hlgh heels blker
booLs or vlcLorlan busLler) poslng for sexy shoLs and experlmenLlng wlLh crysLals
vlbraLors feaLhers and raLLles Sprlnkle menLlons every posslble Lrlck of Lhe Lrade
some of whlch are very racy
kama SuLra ll 1he ArL of Maklng Love from enLhouse magazlne's vldeo collecLlon ls
60 mlnuLes of an exLenslve and excellenL lesson on sexual poslLlons 1he scenes are
237
sensuous and Lhe words used have a Lone LhaL's
conslsLenL wlLh LanLra 1here are scenes ln whlch
Lhe woman conLrols Lhe acLlvlLy LanLrlcally so Lhe
man can lasL longer 1he narraLlon sLarLs wlLh foreplay
learnlng abouL each oLher Laklng Llme Lo
Louch and caress leLLlng parLners know whaL Lo do
Lo glve pleasure and progresses Lo oral sex and
lnLercourse
oslLlons lnclude Lhose kama SuLrallke LlLles such
as 1wlnlng of Lhe Creeper ln whlch Lhe woman resLs
her head on Lhe man's sLomach whlle looklng up
and he gazes lovlngly lnLo her eyes MlxLure and
Season and 8lce whlch enLalls enclrcllng each oLher
compleLely wlLh arms and legs and Mllk and WaLer
Lmbrace ln whlch she slLs on hls lap and he embraces
her from behlnd
LeL your Louch Lravel all over your beloved's body
lnclude llghL genLle Louches and presslng of
nalls" (an essenLlal LanLra Lechnlque LhaL sends
shlvers up Lhe lover's body) SLarL aL Lhe neck and
run down Lhe body Lo Lhe hlps Co up Lhe chesL
and down and up Lhe arms around Lhe shoulders
down Lhe chesL Lo Lhe hlps maklng clrcles 1ravel down Lo Lhe pelvls area and massage
and pull aL Lhe Lhlghs beLween Lhe legs keep comlng back Lo Lhe chesL (breasLs)
Lo helghLen feellngs of love
1anLra8elaLed WorkouLs Lo WaLch
An lncreaslng number of flLness experLs who pracLlce LanLra have developed workouL
programs LhaL are compaLlble wlLh LanLrlc sex prlnclples and pracLlces SLephanle's
1anLrlc 1onlng comblnes Lhe physlcal pracLlces of yoga 1'al Chl chl gung and llghL
aeroblcs wlLh gulded lmagery LhaL lnvokes LanLrlc medlLaLlve sLaLes AL Lhe end ls a
color llghL medlLaLlon LhaL relnforces selfesLeem Chakra ?oga wlLh 1oronLobased yoga
Leacher CuruLe[ kaur shows an lnLeresLlng exerclse program of very genLle poses
(mosLly slLLlng) LhaL balance each of Lhe energy cenLers (chakras) 1he 16 poses come
from Lhe kundallnl yoga LradlLlon
8elaLed vldeos on Sex
LducaLlonal vldeos abouL LreaLlng sexual dysfuncLlon were flrsL produced ln Lhe 1970s
and Lhe numbers keep lncreaslng My cablneLs are already full! Some classlcs ln Lhe
fleld presenL a varleLy of proven Lherapy Lechnlques for sexual dysfuncLlon hosLed by
Lop educaLors and LheraplsLs and used by many professlonals over Lhe years 1hey lnclude
Lhe 8eLLer Sex serles (wlLh LlLles llke Sharlng Sexual lanLasles Sex Cames and 1oys
8locks Lo 8llss
Some of Lhe poslLlons ln Lhese
vldeos are compllcaLed and requlre
aglllLy as ln Lhe kama
SuLra lLself kneellng for a long
Llme can also be a sLraln for mosL
people Cnly do whaL's comforLable
for you Work your way up
Lo Lhese poslLlons Whlle many
vldeos do use real" people
don'L feel llke you have Lo look
llke any beauLlful couples ln
oLher vldeos
238
and Advanced Sexual 1echnlques) and Lhe CreaL Sex serles from psychlaLrlsL Sommers
who has done exLenslve research Lo prove Lhe effecLlveness of uslng vldeos Lo help
couples' sexual and marlLal llfe
1he laLesL Lrend ls LhaL women are produclng sexy vldeos meanL Lo presenL sexuallLy
from a woman's polnL of vlew Candlda 8oyalle ls a ploneer ln Lhls efforL 1hrough
her company lemme roducLlons she has produced many vldeos LhaL deplcL
women's fanLasles and reallsLlc scenes where women are sexually respecLed and pleasured
by men Lhe way women llke Many of my fllms are hlghly eroLlc and show
very exclLlng fanLasy sequences" says Candlda buL Lhere's always some relaLlonshlp
noL [usL rushlng Lo some sex acL" 1lLles bespeaklng Lhe female splrlL lnclude
ChrlsLlne's SecreL Sensual Lscape and 8lLes of asslon (Lhe mosL LanLrlcorlenLed selecLlon
ln whlch a woman dlscovers anclenL lovemaklng secreLs from a mysLerlous
Adonlsllke masLer")
1anLra on 8adlo 1v Lhe Sllver Screen
and Lhe lnLerneL
1anLra ls becomlng an lncreaslngly popular word ln large parL because of shows and
sLory llnes belng alred abouL Lhe Loplc on radlo 1v and ln Lhe movles lor example
LanLra was heavlly feaLured ln Lhe fllm Amerlcan le 2 a comlngofage movle ln
whlch Leens deallng wlLh adolescenL angsL end up ln a perfecL world where all Lhe
women are gorgeous and avallable and every guy geLs hls dream come Lrue As expecLed
LanLra ls porLrayed as a mysLlcal LasLern Lrlp Lo perpeLual orgasm
A Pollywood feaLure fllm has been produced abouL Charles Mulr's LanLra work whlch
follows couples who have been Lhrough hls workshop ?ears ago Lhe fllm 8llss sLarrlng
1erence SLamp as a daka was based on Mulr's work CLher LanLra Leachers have
been approached by producers Lo make movles abouL
Lhelr work some of Lhese pro[ecLs are belng pursued
1he popular 1v show on P8C called 8eal Sex ofLen
alrs segmenLs abouL workshops run by LanLrlc Leachers
And P8C's popular serles Sex ln Lhe ClLy lncluded a
subploL ln whlch one of Lhe glrlfrlends aLLended a
LanLra workshop fearlng someLhlng was wrong wlLh
her sexually because her boyfrlend had fallen asleep
durlng sex!
now LhaL you know more abouL LanLra and LanLrlc sex
lL wlll be amuslng for you Lo noLlce when scenes abouL
lL pop up ln dlfferenL 1v shows or fllms 8e a waLchdog
and noLlce how accuraLe Lhe porLrayals are (Lhe
Loplc can be sensaLlonallzed!) When you noLlce leL
me know!
1anLra 1uLorlal
CelebrlLles also make household
words of whaLever Lhey pracLlce
when Lhey reveal lL publlcly
Llkewlse wlLh LanLrlc sex ln
whlch several celebrlLy names
ofLen are menLloned whenever
people Lalk abouL men belng
able Lo lasL for hours ln sex
239
Cver Lhe many years l've sLudled LanLra and hosLed callln advlce shows on Lhe radlo
l have Lalked exLenslvely abouL LanLra My cohosL Chrls !agger and l even dld one
show ln whlch Lwo frlends who were LanLra experLs demonsLraLed a pleasurlng of Lhe
goddess experlence ln whlch Lhe LanLrlka had a female e[aculaLlon Lhanks Lo Lhe
daka's experLlse (a classlc Lovephones show LhaL many people sLlll ask me for a copy
of!) Cf course we had Lo do a runnlng commenLary Lo descrlbe whaL was happenlng
slnce lL was radlo afLer all buL lL was vlvld enough LhaL llsLeners could hear Lhe yelps
of [oy and celebraLlon
Llke everyLhlng else LanLra ls spreadlng Lo Lhe lnLerneL a Loplc l dlscuss more aL
lengLh ln ChapLer 23 A Peallng lorce for now and Lhe luLure" PosL 8ob 8erkowlLz's
eyadacom Love 8yLes show was a ploneer program LhaL used Lhe lnLerneL Lo
Lalk abouL sexual lssues l've done many advlce shows on Lhe lnLerneL on my slLe aL
wwwcameraplaneLcom you can send ln your quesLlons by emall or by vldeo and l
wlll answer Lhem!
?our LanLrlc evenlng of pleasure musL have muslc Lo reflecL and seL your mood
lck anyLhlng LhaL appeals Lo you buL Lry Cus especlally made for LanLrlc
lovemaklng
Muslc Lones vlbraLe slmllarly Lo Lhe chakras so you can conLrol energles you
wanL Lo sLlmulaLe wlLh Lhe muslc
1he value of vldeos LhaL show couples ln lovlng lnLeracLlons has been proven
by research lL can be healLhy Lo waLch educaLlonal vldeos abouL sex wlLh your
parLner
1here are an lncreaslng number of eroLlc fllms belng produced LhaL are speclflcally
made Lo demonsLraLe LanLrlc pracLlces and sexual poslLlons
Cne measure of how much a Loplc ls becomlng parL of Lhe popular culLure ls
how ofLen lL shows up ln Lhe medla 1hls ls happenlng wlLh LanLra as more
shows lnclude Lhe Lheme ln Lhelr broadcasLs and pro[ecLs 1he lnLerneL also offers
a wlde opporLunlLy for sexual Loplcs Lo be dlscussed

arL 3
uaLlng and MaLlng 1anLra SLyle
Popefully you're convlnced by now of how good love and sex can beor have had an
experlence of Lhe besL ever" now whaL abouL Lhe lmpacL on your relaLlonshlp of
dolng Lhese pracLlces? WhaL lf you're exclLed abouL Lhls new paLh buL your parLner ls
noL? Cr lf one of you flnds someone else Lo share wlLh? Cr perhaps you're enLlced
abouL whaL you've been learnlng ln Lhese pages buL don'L have a parLner Lo pracLlce
wlLh?
All ls noL losL! ?es on any powerful new paLh such as Lhls one Lhlngs can geL rocky
8uL Lhere ls always a soluLlon Lo any problem ln Lhls parL l'll help you flnd Lhose soluLlons
lf you're looklng for a LanLrlc parLner Lo pracLlce such dellclous lovlng wlLh
l'll glve you suggesLlons abouL how Lo flnd one and manlfesL Lhe love you wanL! ueep
passlonaLe exhllaraLlng love lS posslbleyou'll see LhaL ln some amazlng sLorles
abouL couples who are sharlng Lhe LanLrlc paLh Lylng Lhe knoL and dolng lL ln grand
LanLra sLyle! 1he beauLy of Lhelr love and whaL ls posslble for you wlll be lnsplrlng!

ChapLer 19
Slngles Sex
and 1anLra
ln 1hls ChapLer
?ou are Lhe beloved lovlng yourself flrsL
1he search for Mr or Ms 8lghL
ALLracLlng a LanLrlc maLe
1he Lwo love lessons you should know
Safe sex when pracLlclng LanLra
now LhaL you've been readlng all Lhese undoubLedly compelllng Lhlngs abouL LanLrlc
sex you musL be exclLed abouL Lhe experlences Popefully you've had a chance Lo
pracLlce LhemwlLh or wlLhouL a parLner Cf course pracLlclng LanLrlc exerclses ls
more fun lf you do Lhem wlLh someone l have sald afLer all LhaL LanLrlc sex ls abouL
unlon Lo reach bllss
8uL lf you don'L have a parLner now don'L be dlscouraged you can reach Lhls bllss on
your ownby belng your own beloved ?ou can beneflL a greaL deal from your sollLary
LanLrlc pracLlce and conLlnue when anoLher beloved comes along no excuses! ?our
paLh of channellng your sexual energy Lo hlgher sLaLes of consclousness and bllss ls
posslble no maLLer whaL else ls golng on ln your llfe ln Lhls chapLer you'll learn [usL
how Lo do LhaL l'll Lell you how slngles can en[oy LanLrlc sex alonebuL also how Lo
approach LhaL search for your beloved and where Lo go Lo flnd llkemlnded slngles
lnLeresLed ln pursulng Lhe LanLrlc paLh
arL 3 uaLlng and MaLlng 1anLra SLyle
244
?ou Are Lhe 8eloved
WheLher or noL you are wlLh someone always remember LhaL you are Lhe beloved
Lhls ls a baslc prlnclple ln LanLra WheLher you have a new boyfrlend or glrlfrlend a
maLe LhaL you have been wlLh for a shorL Llme or a llfeLlme parLner you are sLlll
whole wlLhln yourself 1he flrsL sLep ln LanLrlc sex ls Lo creaLe LhaL wholeness wlLhln
yourselfLhe unlon of male and female energles and all Lhe quallLles LhaL lmplles as
ouLllned ln ChapLer 2 1he 8aslcs ?es ?ln ?ang ?onl and ?ab ?um" 1anLrlc sex
glves deeper meanlng Lo a sLaLemenL you are llkely famlllar wlLh ?ou have Lo love
yourself before you can love anyone else So look ln Lhe mlrror and fall ln love
wlLh you!
lall ln love wlLh yourself
as Lhe beloved
Cne of my favorlLe exerclses Lo help people develop selfesLeem ls Lo Lake yourself ouL
on a daLe 1haL means you LreaL yourself as well as you lmaglne you would be LreaLed
by someone else ln ChapLer 7 SeLLlng Lhe SLage for ?our 1anLrlc nlghLs of leasure"
l descrlbed how Lo prepare for a LanLrlc daLe wlLh a beloved 8efer Lo LhaL chapLer and
do all Lhe sLeps descrlbed Lhere buL for yourself! ln summary LhaL means
Clean up your house as lf LhaL speclal someone was comlng Lo call
1ake a baLh or shower and shave or puL on makeup as you would lf you were
abouL Lo see someone speclal
lck ouL a speclal ouLflL LhaL you've been savlng for LhaL speclal someone Lo appreclaLe
Choose someLhlng parLlcularly sexy or allurlng 8emember LhaL LanLrlc
cloLhes are flowlng comforLable enLlclng
243
ChapLer 19 Slngles Sex and 1anLra
Choose a place Lo go LhaL you would Lake a speclal someone ?ou can go ouL Lo
dlnner on your own! WhaL movle dld you always Lhlnk would be greaL Lo see
wlLh someone you could cuddle up Lo? 1reaL yourself Lo LhaL movle
1ake LhaL speclal walk gaze aL Lhe moon or whaLever romanLlc fun or exclLlng
Lhlng you would do wlLh LhaL speclal someone
8emember LhaL you are LhaL speclal someone 1he more you pracLlce lovlng yourself
and LreaLlng yourself well Lhe more you wlll creaLe LhaL lovlng aura around you
eople wlll noLlce and be drawn Lo you ?ou may even have noLlced LhaL as soon as
you sLop looklng for LhaL speclal someone (and appearlng desperaLe) LhaL's when he
or she appears ln your llfe Check ouL some greaL ways Lo bulld your selfesLeem ln
1he CompleLe ldloL's Culde Lo uaLlng
MeeLlng ?our MaLch
Looklng for LhaL perfecL maLe has LradlLlonally been referred Lo as Lhe search for Mr
or Ms 8lghL ln recenL years Lhe slang Lerm for Lhls has been hooklng up whlch acLually
means anyLhlng from meeLlng someone you really en[oy belng wlLh Lo sexual lnLeracLlons
wlLh LhaL person (and even Lhen Lhe Lerm lncludes anyLhlng from klsslng
Lo a onenlghL sLand Lo seelng someone regularly)
ln LanLra Lhe phrases for meeLlng your maLch are dlfferenL 1o me Lhey sound more
splrlLual more flowery more respecLful more honorlng 1he mosL common word
used ls connecLlng A phrase would be LhaL you feel Lhe energy beLween you" 1hese
words are meanL Lo express Lhe energy beLween Lwo people whlch ls lnLrlnslc Lo Lhe
LanLrlc way of llfe and lmplles noL only a sexual lnLeresL buL a deeper splrlLual aLLracLlon
Consclous lllrLlng
ln LanLra everyLhlng ls done consclously 1haL means you are aware of your acLlons
and have only poslLlve lnLenLlons whlch resulLs ln Lhe besL ouLcome for all lrancesca
CenLllle and her parLner 8rlan 8ourke a LanLra Leachlng Leam lead workshops ln
whaL Lhey call consclous fllrLlng (see Appendlx 8 Workshops Web SlLes 1eachers and
1anLra CommunlLles") arLlclpanLs are asked Lo ldenLlfy Lhelr lnLenLlons when meeLlng
someone new knowlng Lhls lnLenLlon also helps lf you are sLrlklng ouL" lf you
fllrL Lo make yourself feel good you won'L be as successful as lf you do lL for Lhe oLhers
person's good" says s 8elng consclous of your behavlor and lnLenLlon allows you Lo
look aL whaL you mlghL wanL Lo shlfL maklng you more effecLlve
CLher exerclses lnclude role playlng how you fllrL Lo see more ob[ecLlvely how you
come across and declde wheLher you llke whaL you see ln yourself and how you make
Lhe oLher person feel (some are shocked aL whaL Lhey see!) 8ourke noLes Lwo exerclses
LhaL parLlcularly empower men Lo choose wheLher Lo follow up an lnLeresL ln Lhe
sLeel ball Lhey lmaglne Lhemselves as a sLeel ball rolllng down a slope 1he sLeel ball ls
246
symbollc of movlng wlLh deLermlnaLlon Loward LhaL
goal buL slow enough Lo sLop aL wlll ln Lhe pass up Lhe
pass Lhe men pracLlce exchanglng smlles wlLh an aLLracLlve
woman buL walklng by and [usL en[oylng a
warm feellng lnslde wlLhouL havlng Lo follow Lhrough
Who ls Mr or Ms 8lghL?
ln LanLrlc sex your whole ldea of Lhe perfecL maLe can
change as you look beyond Lhe superflclal values aL
who Lhe person really ls 1hls means seelng Lhe
god/goddess dlvlnlLy as opposed Lo Lhlnnlng halr or
slze 14 dress 8e open Lo Lhe posslblllLles ?ou could be
surprlsed who shows up ln your llfeLhaL someone
speclal could be someone you never lmaglned!
8emember LhaL Lhe baslcand beauLlfulsplrlL of
LanLra ls Lo look beyond Lhe physlcal belng Lo see and
connecL lnner souls 8emember one of Lhe baslc exerclses
ls Lo look lnLo Lhe eyes of anoLher Lo see Lhe
god/goddess wlLhln LhaL person Look lnLo hls or her
eyes and see beyond age race helghL and any of your
preconcelved noLlons of whom you should be wlLh lL
ls sLrlklng lsn'L lL how dlfferenL Lhls concepL ls from
our culLure whlch ls so bound Lo Lhe physlcal and so
rooLed ln our sLereoLyplcal lmages LlghL ouL of Len
men Loday sLlll raLe a woman's looks as Lhe flrsL Lhlng
LhaL aLLracLs Lhem
?eL ln LanLra when you Lruly look beyond Lhe physlcal
you flnd new love maLches ln my book Pow 1o
Love A nlce Cuy l wroLe abouL how women can flnd
Lhe Lrue love Lhey seek lf Lhey look beyond Lhelr usual
love crlLerlabeyond a dashlng Armanl sulL flashy
Mercedes or shlny laLlnum cardLo assess lnsLead
wheLher he's a nlce guy who wlll really LreaL her well
Cf course Lhere are facLors LhaL make a couple more
compaLlble 1here are loLs of LesLs you can Lake of your
compaLlblllLy ln my book 1he CompleLe ldloL's Culde Lo
a PealLhy 8elaLlonshlp Couples are more llkely Lo geL
along when Lhey agree on several lmporLanL dlmenslons of a relaLlonshlp how Lo
ralse chlldren and spend money whaL klnd of sex Lhey llke whaL klnd of llfesLyle
(quleL counLry dwelllng or busLllng clLy llfe) Lhey wanL and baslc values Lo follow 8uL
here's my general rule ?ou can make any relaLlonshlp work lf you really wanL lL Lo
worklf you boLh are really commlLLed Lo geLLlng along and you deeply love and
1anLra 1uLorlal
1anLra demands respecL for
oLher's boundarles 8elng careful
abouL approaches ls lmporLanL ln
Loday's socleLy 8e aware of dlfferences
ln whaL ls accepLable
accordlng Lo dlfferenL culLures
and alerL Lo approaches LhaL are
unwelcome and Lherefore sub[ecL
Lo belng consldered sexual
harassmenL
LcsLasy LssenLlals
8ecause men can go Loo slow or
Loo fasL ln daLlng LanLra Leacher
8rlan 8ourke advlses Lhem abouL
Lhe paclng wlndow meanlng
Lhey should ask a woman ouLrlghL
whaL she wanLs (uo you
wanL me Lo call you Lomorrow or
nexL week?")
247
respecL each oLher enough Lo work ouL any dlfferences ?es you mlghL have Lo work
aL Lhe relaLlonshlp Lo geL pasL your own or one anoLher's pre[udlces buL you can
make lL work lf you wanL Lo
1he 8eloved Shows up ln Surprlse lorm lf Cnly for now
lf you walked lnLo a room of couples dolng LanLrlc sex workshops you mlghL be very
surprlsed ?ou mlghL see marrled couples or slngles who connecLed for Lhe flrsL Llme
who don'L flL a classlcal mold of Lhe perfecLly maLched couple Why ls LhaL? 8ecause
people followlng Lhe LanLra paLh are drawn energeLlcally Lo each oLher and fall ln love
based on deep emoLlonal connecLlons LhaL have noLhlng Lo do wlLh mere physlcal
aLLracLlon
1anLra 1ales
lrances ls 34 years old 3'2" wlLh gray halr and admlLLedly LwenLy pounds overwelghL ln
one LanLra workshop she saL nexL Lo CcLavlo a 21yearold 6'4" 8razlllan man whose
sLunnlng looks Lurn women's heads When asked Lo energeLlcally flnd someone Lo palr up
wlLh for Lhe nexL exerclses Lhey Lurned Lo each oLher and ended up dolng an emoLlonal
release process LogeLher lrom LhaL Llme on lrances curled up lnLo CcLavlo's arms durlng
Lhe resL of Lhe workshop She's beauLlful" CcLavlo Lold me She's cerLalnly noL my Lyplcal
Lypel daLe Lall sLunnlng Spanlshlooklng models 8uL l need Lo be wlLh a real
woman here who ls klnd and who can help me grow"
Cver30 aullne a flery ouLgolng lLallan woman meL 26yearold Lee a quleL guy of
few words aullne was well lnLo her career and owned a house Lee was sLlll ln school
and llved aL home 8uL aullne fell for hlm as she explalned Pe was klnd and falLhful
and l could counL on hlm for everyLhlng Pe would always come when l needed
hlm Pe seL up my compuLer Pe llsLened Lo all my worrles 8esL of all he learned all
Lhe LanLrlc sex pracLlces wlLh me" 1hey were lnseparable for several years buL even
aullne herself knew LhaL lL was noL forever l had been hurL so ofLen by so many
men and Lee was safe 8elng wlLh hlm LaughL me how Lo LrusL agaln" aullne's new
boyfrlend ls her own age Lee was my Lralnlng for love" she explalns CfLen Lhere
are relaLlonshlps LhaL prepare us for Lhe nexL Lrue love"
248
Culz Are ?ou 8eady for ?our 1rue 1anLrlc Sex arLner?
Answer Lhe followlng quesLlons abouL whaL quallLles your LanLrlc parLner mlghL possess
Add more quesLlons lf you llke
Can ?our 1anLra 1rue Love
1 8e much younger Lhan you?
2 8e much older Lhan you?
3 8e of a dlfferenL race?
4 Pave less money Lhan you?
3 Pave dark halr lnsLead of blonde halr?
6 8e baldlng?
7 Come from anoLher counLry?
8 8e a dlfferenL rellglon from yours?
9 Pave chlldren from a prevlous relaLlonshlp?
10 8e a nlghL owl when you're an early blrd or vlce versa?
11 uress dlfferenLly from Lhe way you do?
12 CLher
LnergeLlc connecLlons go
beyond age
249
lf you answered yes" Lo slx or more quesLlons you are open Lo love wlLhouL belng
Lled Lo convenLlon or preconcepLlons abouL whom you should be wlLh lf you answered
yes" Lo fewer Lhan four quesLlons your concepL of who ls rlghL for you could
be prevenLlng you from maklng a wonderful connecLlon Co back over your answers
and see whaL lL would feel llke lf you answered dlfferenLly
Senslng noL Scorlng
WheLher you conslder belng a sex ob[ecL pollLlcally lncorrecL or even en[oy lL for a
momenLary Lhrlll LanLrlc sex wlll shlfL your mlnd from LhaL Lo a whole new aLLracLlon
Lven women who have been more aggresslve ln scoplng ouL men for reasons of
sexual deslre flnd Lhemselves uslng new aLLracLlon crlLerla As one woman Marcy puL
lL l used Lo walk lnLo a room and declde who l was golng Lo hlL on whlch hoL guy l
would Lake home for Lhe nlghL buL now LhaL l've been pracLlclng LanLrlc sex l reallze
LhaL's empLy My body ls my Lemple now so l don'L wanL [usL any man"
now LhaL she doesn'L [usL zone ln on hoL guys for sex romps Lhe plcklngs are a llLLle
sllmmer" lndeed for Marcy and oLher men and women pracLlclng LanLrlc sex Lhe
cholces for parLners mlghL seem sllmmer because she ls more dlscrlmlnaLlng ln facL
Lhere are more posslblllLles of parLners when you look beyond Lhe obvlous and lnLo
someone's lnner belng As anoLher woman sald l don'L care how old or rlch he ls l
[usL care lf he's blg enough Lo hold my energy Lo accepL my anger and Lo lnvlLe my
love" CuoLlng slnger Sheryl Crow's song lyrlc
Are you sLrong enough Lo be my man?" anoLher
woman sald l wanL a man who geLs who l am
lnsLead of havlng some 8arble doll fanLasy"
Slmllarly men wanL a woman who sees beyond
Lhelr lncome poLenLlal or Lhe klnd of car Lhey
drlve As Andrew sald l'm slck of women who
[usL wanL a rlch guy" And !oe wanLed Lo know
Where are all Lhe women who wanL nlce guys lnsLead
of all Lhose guys who LreaL Lhem badly buL
Lhey Lhlnk are cool?" lorLunaLely as a woman maLures
she more ofLen goes for Lhe nlce guy Any
woman can learn Lo plck Lhese more lovlng men
l've lald ouL a 10sLep plan Lo do Lhls ln my book
Pow Lo Love a nlce Cuy
llndlng ?our Soul MaLe on Lhe 1anLrlc aLh
Cf course once you've commlLLed Lo a LanLrlc way of belng lL can be wonderful Lo
flnd a llkemlnded person on a slmllar [ourney 1hls makes llfe easler because you undersLand
whaL each of you ls sLrlvlng for ln yourselves and ln a parLnershlp ?ou're
on Lhe same wavelengLh because
8ecause Lhe llngam and yonl are
energy LransmlLLers lL ls wlse Lo
be dlscrlmlnaLlng abouL havlng
sex wlLh someone slnce dolng so
lnvlLes Lhelr energy lnLo your
body and soul
230
?ou already have a common language ?ou know whaL she means by chakra"
or whaL he means by hls appreclaLlng your ShakLl" energy
?ou can encourage each oLher ln your pracLlces and remlnd each oLher Lo do Lhe
breaLhlng exerclses or yoga pracLlces
?ou can supporL each oLher ln your afflrmaLlons
?ou can accepL all parLs of each oLher even aL dlfflculL momenLs
?ou can LrusL LhaL you wlll sLrlve Lo LreaL each oLher wlLh respecL and honesLy
?ou can creaLe sex maglc LogeLher knowlng Lhe sLeps Lo do Lhls
?ou can glve each oLher space Lo grow
?ou know Lhe feellng of belng one" LogeLher and wlLh all LhaL exlsLs
A soul maLe ls someone you feel ls a perfecL maLch for
you usually a soul maLe ls recognlzed ln Lhese ways
?ou feel you've known each oLher forever
?ou can sense whaL your maLe feels before even
Lalklng
?ou feel you were desLlned Lo be LogeLher
?ou know and appreclaLe each oLher on a
deeper level Lhan you feel wlLh almosL anyone
else
?ou mlghL feel you shared pasL llves
MosL people are searchlng for LhaL perfecL soul maLe
Some experLs on Lhe Loplc say Lhere are only a few perfecL
soul maLes Lwln souls or Lwln flames More opLlmlsLlcally
lL ls posslble Lo develop a relaLlonshlp LhaL
feels deeply lnLlmaLe and Louches your soul wlLh a
parLner who mlghL noL flL Lhe prevlous characLerlsLlcs
racLlclng LanLrlc sex offers even more hope because
LanLrlc sex means connecLlng noL on Lhe superflclal
level buL aL your soul level Also accordlng Lo LanLrlc
sex every person ls consldered a dlvlne soul As a resulL you can connecL wlLh hls or
her dlvlnlLy lf you open yourself Lo lL Accordlng Lo Lhls polnL of vlew you mlghL flnd
more soul maLes ouL Lhere Lhan you LhoughL
AsLrologlcal readlngs Lo connecL splrlLual slngles are conslsLenL wlLh LanLrlc respecL for
Lhe heavens and balanced maLches 1here are daLlng servlces based on whaL's called
lndlan vedlc asLrology" a parLlcular sysLem of lnLerpreLlng Lhe effecL of Lhe planeLs
on your llfe LhaL promlses proflles speclflcally geared Loward earLhly gods and goddesses
on Lhe LanLrlc paLh (Cne such slLe ls wwwLanLrlcsoulmaLeconnecLlonorg)
8locks Lo 8llss
uon'L assume LhaL a sLudenL of
splrlLual sex ls auLomaLlcally
emoLlonally maLure sexually llberaLed
and psychologlcally
healLhy Pe or she can have Lhe
same problems ln relaLlonshlps as
oLhers roblems wlLh lnLlmacy
and commlLmenL can be even
more lnLense aL Llmes slnce
pracLlces and emoLlonal release
processes mlghL Lrlgger prevlously
unnoLlced confllcLs
231
CeLLlng 8eady for Lhe 8eloved
Cf course you have Lo be prepared for LhaL speclal
beloved Lo enLer your llfe 1haL means you have Lo
clear your confllcLs abouL belng ln a relaLlonshlp
and any problems you mlghL have sLored up from
pasL relaLlonshlps l have encounLered many men
and women who say Lhey wanL commlLmenL buL
who are unsuccessful aL meeLlng people lf you are
noL aLLracLlng a parLner look lnslde yourself Lo
make sure you really wanL a commlLmenL and are
noL unconsclously saboLaglng your efforLs Lo meeL
someone Also confronL Lhe llmlLlng bellefs you
mlghL have abouL flndlng your LanLrlc maLch
such as
1here are no good ones lefL Lhey're all Laken
Lven lf l flnd someone lL'll Lurn sour anyway
l can never be happy ln love
Whenever you have sex wlLh someone lL
always rulns Lhe relaLlonshlp
l always geL hurL ln Lhe end
l'm desLlned Lo be alone
l'm beLLer off belng alone
1anLrlc lovers are always prone Lo affalrs anyway so l'd never have someone Lo
myself
lL dldn'L work ouL lasL Llme so whaL can l expecL now?
CaLch yourself ln Lhese bellefs 8ead each one and Lurn lL lnLo a poslLlve afflrmaLlon
LhaL sLaLes how posslble Lhls Lype of love ls for you lor example change Lhe phrase
l can never be happy ln love" Lo l wlll be happy ln love" leel how much happler
you already feel when you say lL Lhe new more poslLlve way!
8rlnglng ln Lhe 8eloved
1anLra pracLlces are all deslgned Lo open you Lo love Lherefore lL ls noL surprlslng LhaL
some slngles have found Lrue love afLer sLarLlng Lhelr sLudles As Cella Lold me l reallzed
afLer my Lhlrd weekend LhaL even Lhough l was complalnlng l dldn'L have a man
l was closed off emoLlonally and angry aL men for uslng me ln Lhe pasL Cnce l goL
over LhaL anger and learned Lo love myself and my yonl l was open Lo 8lll when l
meL hlm and l could leL a man Louch me deeply lnslde and ouL agaln"
1anLra 1uLorlal
8esearch shows LhaL cerLaln
chemlcals flow ln our body when
we encounLer some people
1here ls also condlLlonlng lnvolved
wlLh aLLracLlon ln LhaL lf
we have poslLlve experlences
wlLh a cerLaln Lype of person we
Lend Lo wanL Lo repeaL Lhose experlences
negaLlve pasL experlences
Lend Lo make us avold
people who remlnd us of Lhose
Llmes
232
8ecause LanLrlc sex lnvolves rlLuals some people do rlLuals Lo draw ln Lhe energy of a
parLner ?ou mlghL Lhlnk of Lhese as wlLchcrafL or black maglc lf anyLhlng lL ls whlLe
maglc as we are Lalklng abouL brlnglng ln lovenoL dolng harm Lo anyone
A rlLual Lo brlng ln a beloved mlghL lnvolve Lhls process Look aL Lhe moon especlally
when lL ls full lnvoke splrlLs (of MoLher LarLh and laLher Sky god/goddess grandparenLs
Lhose who love you) Lo be your aldes SLaLe a deslre clearly such as l declare
LhaL my beloved wlll come Lo me by nexL week" SLaLe whaL quallLles you would llke
Lnd wlLh assurance lL ls done" and an afflrmaLlon LhaL lL ls for Lhe good of all"
8rlnglng ln Lhe beloved
Where Lo Co
So many people ask me Where do l go Lo meeL someone?" My book 1he CompleLe
ldloL's Culde Lo uaLlng ls chock full of advlce abouL where Lo go (and whaL Lo say and
LesLs abouL who ls rlghL for you) lrom all of LhaL my favorlLe advlce ls Co Lo places
where you wlll en[oy yourself 1hls works for several reasons
?ou wlll be happy Lherefore you wlll glow and people wlll be aLLracLed Lo you
eople wlLh slmllar lnLeresLs wlll be ln Lhe same place
?ou'll be so lnvolved ln whaL you're dolng LhaL you won'L seem llke you're looklng
for someone (whlch can be a Lurnoff)
Lven lf you don'L meeL anyone you wlll have had fun!
233
Pere are some concreLe suggesLlons abouL where Lo flnd LanLrlc soul maLes
1anLra semlnars parLles and lnLroducLory evenLs
Classes ln yoga 1'al Chl and relaLed LasLern flLness programs
SplrlLuallLy conferences and reLreaL cenLers
llyers posLed ln bulleLln boards aL splrlLuallLy booksLores healLh food sLores and
meeLlng places
SLores LhaL sell LasLern lLems or glfLs
8ooksLores ln Lhe secLlon LhaL sell books on LanLra and relaLed splrlLual pracLlces
Workshops on relaLed Loplcs (relaLlonshlps personal growLh splrlLuallLy)
Lhrough organlzaLlons such as Lhe Cpen CenLer Learnlng Annex Semlnar
CenLer and Cmega lnsLlLuLe
LvenLs and reLreaLs relaLed Lo splrlLual leaders (Csho and oLhers)
ersonal ads posLed ln magazlnes newspapers or on Lhe Web
1hrough frlends and people you meeL abouL LanLra (?ou never know wheLher
Lhe person slLLlng nexL Lo you on a plane could be your nexL LanLrlc beloved lL
has happened Lo aL leasL Lwo women l know who almosL gave up on flndlng
Lhelr beloveds)
Cn Lhe Web Surf for slLes relaLed Lo LanLrlc
sex ([usL Lype Lhe word LanLra" ln your
search englne or sLarL from wwwLanLracom)
[oln LanLra newsgroups [oln ln on chaL
rooms SeL up your own Web slLe and lnclude
your lnLeresL ln LanLra
8efer Lo Lhe llsLlngs ln Appendlx 8
Cnce you go Lo one of Lhese evenLs you wlll become
neLworked lnLo Lhe LanLra communlLy and
more resources wlll naLurally come your way
1wo Love Lessons ?ou Wlsh
?ou'd Learned When ?ou
Were ?oung
Wouldn'L lL be nlce lf you dldn'L have paln ln relaLlonshlps and lf you dldn'L feel you
wasLed your Llme Lrylng Lo make someLhlng work LhaL was wrong all along? Colorado
LanLra Leacher and psychologlsL Shavana llneberg suggesLs Lhe followlng Lwo lessons
Lo keep ln mlnd Lo prevenL Lhose problems 1hese can save you a loL of aggravaLlon"
she says
lnsLead of walLlng for Lhe perfecL
LanLrlc maLe you can develop
lovlng frlendshlps wlLh LanLra
buddles 1hese are plaLonlc
frlends wlLh whom you share
some pracLlces buL who undersLand
LhaL you are noL romanLlcally
commlLLed parLners
234
!usL because you're lncredlbly aLLracLed Lo someone doesn'L mean lL's a good
maLch LusL and looks can be decelvlng whereas real energy beLween people ls
more lasLlng and genulne
lf Lhe amounL of energy you're puLLlng lnLo a relaLlonshlp lsn'L Lhe same as whaL
you're geLLlng back don'L pursue lL llneberg recounLs a female frlend who handles
daLlng wlsely lf someone ls noL really lnLeresLed ln her says llneberg she
doesn'L have Lo force herself Lo reslsL calllng hlm llke so many oLher women
she ls genulnely noL lnLeresLed She says l have enough problems so lf Lhe
oLher person doesn'L wanL Lo be wlLh me l don'L wanL hlm wlLh me elLher!"
Safe Sex When racLlclng 1anLra
Some experLs esLlmaLe LhaL Lhere ls a rlsk of sexually LransmlLLed dlseases (S1us) ln
Lhe LanLra communlLy because of Lhe accesslblllLy of lnLlmaLe conLacL beLween men
and women men and men women and women and even groups arLners mlghL be
mlsled lnLo unsafe sexual conLacLs because of Lhe expecLaLlon of LrusL" surroundlng
Lhe pracLlces 1hls expecLaLlon could lead Lo unwlse assumpLlons and prevenL someone
from qulzzlng oLhers abouL Lhelr sexual pasL and presenL healLh sLaLus
l have been lnvlLed Lo lecLure abouL Lhe lmporLance of safe sex aL some LanLra semlnars
and have noLlced Lhere ls noL enough aLLenLlon pald Lo Lhls sub[ecL Cne facL
LhaL should be emphaslzed Lo prevenL Lhe spread of
dlsease ls Lhls Lven lf you don'L noLlce any sympLoms
you can sLlll have an S1u and pass lL on Lo someone
else (as ls Lhe case wlLh herpes and early sLages of hepaLlLls
C) l lmplore all LanLra lnlLlaLes and experLs Lo
pay aLLenLlon Lo Lhls lssue!
8e aware Loo LhaL some people wlLh an S1u LhaL
sLays ln Lhe body (such as herpes) do noL admlL Lhls
raLlonallzlng LhaL Lhey are noL conLaglous because
Lhelr energy has no lnLenLlon Lo do so When Lara
found ouL LhaL uon had herpes buL lnslsLed he would
noL spread lL because he had no such lnLenLlon she
was undersLandably furlous abouL noL belng lnformed
8e vlgllanL abouL asklng and Lelllng your parLner
abouL your sexual healLh hlsLory and rlsks before you
engage ln any lnLlmacy Always pracLlce safe proLecLed
sex Lo proLecL agalnsL S1us and unplanned pregnancy
8locks Lo 8llss
1ara had unproLecLed lnLercourse
wlLh a new LanLrlc lover who
proclalmed LhaL he dld noL have
any dlseases buL she conLracLed
a yeasL lnfecLlon from hlm llnd
ouL whaL a person means by
dlsease" Also be aware LhaL
men as well as women can LransmlL
lnfecLlons And of course always
use proLecLlon!
233
?ou can en[oy a LanLrlc sex llfesLyle even lf you are slngle 1here's no need Lo
walL for Lhe beloved you are Lhe beloved!
When you see Lhe dlvlnlLy ln all belngs you can expand Lhe posslblllLles Lo flnd
someone Lo love
1o flnd oLher slngles who are lnLeresLed ln LanLra go Lo evenLs for LanLra
search Lhe Web and Lalk Lo oLher people abouL your lnLeresL
1wo love lessons are besL learned early 8eal energy beLween Lwo people ls
more lmporLanL Lhan a mere physlcal aLLracLlon and Lhe amounL of energy
you and your parLner conLrlbuLe Lo Lhe relaLlonshlp should be abouL equal
Llke any sexual acLlvlLy always pracLlce safe proLecLed LanLrlc sex Lo proLecL
yourself agalnsL S1us and unplanned pregnancy
keeplng Confldence
My advlce Lo slngles LhroughouL 1he CompleLe ldloL's Culde Lo uaLlng ls Lo en[oy llfe
and keep confldenL LhaL love ls posslbleand everywhere 1anLra Leacher !oan
PearLfleld cofounder of ConversaLlons 1haL MaLLer for slngles agrees and says ?our
love relaLlonshlp ls walLlng for you aL each unlque momenL"

ChapLer 20
1ylng Lhe knoL
1anLra SLyle
ln 1hls ChapLer
Pow LanLrlc marrlages are dlfferenL from LradlLlonal ceremonles
Lxamples of beauLlful LanLrlc weddlng ceremonles
uedlcaLlons LhaL couples make Lo each oLher
ersonal sLorles from LanLrlc brldes and grooms
Pow couples conLlnue Lo dedlcaLe Lhelr love
racLlclng LanLra wlLh a parLner can lead Lo such lnLense and beauLlful love beLween a
couple LhaL Lhey wanL Lo celebraLe LhaL love ln a marrlage ceremony LhaL lnLegraLes
some of Lhe rlLuals Lhey have learned and cherlsh AlLhough noL a legal process accordlng
Lo sLaLe laws Lhese ceremonles are meanL Lo mark a couple's commlLmenL and
honor Lhelr unlonfor Lhemselves and for Lhelr frlends and famlly
1hese ceremonles are ofLen exqulslLely orlglnal and elaboraLe wlLh eloquenL dedlcaLlons
of love ln Lhls chapLer you'll meeL several couples who have creaLed such [oyous
fesLlvlLles Cf course Lhe love and [oy of any weddlng ls preclous buL l know
you'll flnd Lhese sLorles lnLeresLlng and maybe even lnsplrlng!
238
1he unlque AspecLs of a 1anLrlc Marrlage
Ceremony
Lvery culLure has lLs beauLlfuland ldlosyncraLlcrlLuals for lmporLanL evenLs such
as weddlngs Creeks dance wlLh handkerchlefs !ews llfL Lhe couple lnLo Lhe alr on
chalrs l've even wlLnessed Lwo ChrlsLlan weddlngs where Lhe couple was wrapped ln
a bralded rope Lo symbollze Lhelr unlon 1anLra Loo has lLs speclal rlLuals
8rldal magazlnes and books Loday are fllled wlLh wonderful ldeas on maklng Lhe ceremony
speclal 1here's even a Lrend for couples Lo be qulLe orlglnalsuch as marrylng
whlle scuba dlvlng skydlvlng or hoL alr balloonlng! 1anLrlc ceremonles are equally
creaLlve alLhough Lhey vary from LradlLlon ln some ways
1he weddlng does noL have Lo be LradlLlonally
legal 1he couple mlghL never geL a sLaLe llcense
or Lhey mlghL geL one aL anoLher Llme ueclaraLlons
of devoLlon ofLen wlll do
1he only people who need Lo be presenL for Lhe
marrlage are Lhe LanLra brlde and groom! vows
can be sald LhaL feel blndlng wlLhouL anyone
acLually presldlng over or wlLnesslng Lhe ceremony
rlesLs and prlesLesses who preslde over Lhe ceremony
do noL have Lo be LradlLlonally llcensed
elLher Lhey could be frlends glven Lhe honor Lo
perform Lhe role CfLen Lhe couple's LanLra
Leacher offlclaLes
1he couple mlghL have many marrlage ceremonles
and evenLs Lo commemoraLe and celebraLe
Lhelr love
Many LanLrlc weddlng ceremonles have slmllar elemenLs LhaL mark Lhe occaslon
1hese lnclude
Symbollc places Lo make vows 1he cholce of locale ls lnfluenced by Lhe elemenLs
Lhe couple would llke Lo call ln lL mlghL be a foresL for lLs earLh connecLlon
as a symbol for belng grounded wlLh each oLher a mounLalnLop aL dawn
for more vlslonary sky energy or a secluded cave dusLy deserL or oLher holy
place where splrlLs ablde Ceremonles near waLer are always maglcal and conslsLenL
wlLh LanLra's emphasls on cleanslng
A LanLrlc weddlng ceremony
needn'L be elaboraLe or expenslve
Lo be profound 1he rlLuals
dedlcaLlons and guesL parLlclpaLlon
can be [usL as (or more!)
movlng Lhan my $30000 weddlng
wlLh eggs made Lo look llke
pengulns and a vlennese desserL
Lable LhaL could flll a bakery
239
ChapLer 20 1ylng Lhe knoL 1anLra SLyle
CreaLlve dedlcaLlons More couples Loday are addlng Lhelr own sLaLemenLs
Lo LradlLlonal weddlng ceremonles even lf Lhey are sLrlcLly rellglous 1anLrlc
weddlngs have no bollerplaLe so parLners leL Lhemselves be LoLally free wlLh
whaL Lhey say Lo each oLher
8elng ln Lhe momenL 1anLra Leaches you Lo be presenL ln Lhe momenL so lL's
no surprlse LhaL some couples unlLe on an lmpulse ?ou've heard of qulckle Las
vegas weddlngs well ln LanLra couples can be as sponLaneous decldlng Lo
marry aL a beauLlful momenL walklng on Lhe beach aL a parLlcularly beauLlful
sunseL durlng a parLy where frlends are already presenL or slLLlng LogeLher ln
Lhelr baLhLub!
lcklng an ausplclous Llme Some LanLrlc couples walL for a parLlcular day
conslsLenL wlLh Lhe LradlLlon of correcL Llmlng (as wlLh Chlnese phllosophy
where cerLaln Llmes are more ausplclous Lhan oLhers and predlcL a happler fuLure
for Lhe couple) 1he deLermlnaLlon ofLen resLs on Lhe moon's shape or Lhe
parLlcular allgnmenL of Lhe planeLs
Speclflc references Lo unlLlng male and female energles 8ecause LanLra ls
based on Lhe balance of opposlLes LanLra marrlage ceremonles ofLen lnclude references
Lo Lhe comlng LogeLher of male and female energy
Acknowledglng LhaL we are Lhe world 1anLrlc consclousness reaches ouL Lo
Lhe world so Lhe acLlvlLles and spoken words ln Lhe ceremonles reflecL Lhls unlversal
consclousness
lncludlng more Lhan Lwo 1hls ls an advanced ldea ln LanLra 8ecause love
can exLend Lo several people more Lhan Lwo people mlghL wanL Lo creaLe a ceremony
Lo LesLlfy Lo Lhelr love for one anoLher
leasL for Lhe 1anLrlc Weddlng
1he food served aL LanLrlc marrlages ls purposefully chosen Lo be conslsLenL wlLh Lhe
LanLrlc prlnclple of sensuallLy 1he cholces lnclude foods LhaL sLlmulaLe all of Lhe
senses wlLh scenL LasLe and color such as sLrawberrles chocolaLe and avocados
CelebranLs may offer food Lo each oLher as a symbol of offerlng love
Muslc for Lhe 1anLra Marrlage
1he muslc for LanLrlc weddlngs ls ofLen orlglnal performed by muslclans who pracLlce
LanLra Lhemselves or make orlglnal muslc conslsLenL wlLh LanLrlc pracLlces Some
of Lhese muslclans and Lhelr work are llsLed ln Appendlx C 1anLrlc 1ools" lL ls common
Lo have drummers who drum passlonaLely for hours on end CuesLs are ofLen
welcomed Lo play drums shake raLLles or parLlclpaLe ln any lmaglnaLlve way
260
CuesL arLlclpaLlon
CfLen frlends are glven roles ln LanLrlc marrlages Llke prlesLs and prlesLesses ln a Lemple
Lhey mlghL say dedlcaLlons or perform dances for Lhe dellghL of Lhe couple and
Lhe oLher guesLs CuesLs are encouraged Lo brlng orlglnal songs Lo slng or poems Lo
reclLe
Speclal Ceremonles for 1anLrlc Lovers
l'm honored Lo share wlLh you Lhe weddlng ceremonles of several frlends ln Lhe
LanLra communlLy (who are also LanLra Leacher Leams) 1hey really know how Lo celebraLe
Lhelr love! 8lesslngs Lo Lhem!
ChrlsLlna and Wllllam's 1anLrlc Marrlage Ceremony
l lnLroduced you Lo ChrlsLlna Sophla and Wllllam llorlan ln ChapLer 13 Make lL
!ulcy wlLh Maglc and lay" when you read abouL Lhelr advlce on Lhe [oys and beneflLs
of belly danclng and oLher dance ChrlsLlna and Wllllam's weddlng was exqulslLely
LanLrlc ln lLs elaboraLe aLLenLlon Lo rlLual 8oLh Callfornlans Lhey declded noL Lo
geL a sLaLe llcense because as Wllllam sald we do noL recognlze Lhe lmporLance of
lnvolvlng Lhe sLaLe ln our commlLmenL Lo each oLher" Many frlends were lnvlLed Lo
play a role and also Lo serve as wlLnesses
1anLrlc weddlng rlLuals ofLen begln Lhe nlghL (or even
days) before Lhe acLual vows elLher ln rlLuals Lhe couple
does alone or LhaL Lhe guesLs do LogeLher 1he
nlghL before Lhelr ceremony ChrlsLlna and Wllllam's
frlends meL for a sweaL
1he weddlng Look place aL a frlend's home ln Callfornla
Lveryone was ln fesLlve cosLume wlLh Lhe couple
ln sensual and colorful Cypsyllke cosLumes 1he
groom Wllllam wore no shlrL
Many elemenLs of Lhe evenL reflecLed Lyplcal LanLrlc
rlLuals such as danclng lnvlLlng splrlLs chanLlng a
sensual feasL and dolng Lhe yab yum poslLlon (1he
couple was also serenaded and surrounded by Lhe
sounds of Lhe dldgerldoo an AusLrallan fluLellke
lnsLrumenL)
1he fesLlvlLles sLarLed aL 6 M Men congregaLed aL Lhe pool and women gaLhered ln
Lhe llvlng room holdlng flowers and chanLlng a SanskrlL manLra (Cm Manladme
Pum") ln keeplng wlLh Lhe LanLrlc Lheme as Lhe unlon of male and female dlvlne energles
Lhe men and women meL ln a clrcle danclng and chanLlng wlLh Lhe men
slnglng l am Lhe god l am Lhe faLher all acLs of love and pleasure are my rlLual" as
1anLra 1uLorlal
A sweaL ls a naLlve Amerlcan
rlLual gaLherlng ln whlch groups
of men or women (or boLh)
gaLher ln a Leepeellke sLrucLure
where sLones are seL on a flre
and parLlclpanLs lncanL prayers
261
Lhe women chanLed l am Lhe goddess l am Lhe moLher all acLs of love and pleasure
are my rlLual" Lvery so ofLen Lhey all chanLed leasure sacred sacred pleasure"
1hey also reversed Lhe chanLs of Lhe opposlLe sex wlLh Lhe women slnglng l am Lhe
god and men slnglng l am Lhe goddess
ChrlsLlna and Wllllam
celebraLe Lhelr LanLrlc
unlon
ln anoLher demonsLraLlon of Lhe embrace of opposlLes Lhe group gaLhered ln a clrcle
chanL wlLh Lhe men sLarLlng on Lhe ouLslde and Lhe women formlng an lnslde clrcle
1he men danced counLerclockwlse as Lhe women clrcled clockwlse 8uL Lhen Lhe
women passed Lhrough Lhe ralsed arms of Lhe men movlng Lo Lhe ouLer clrcle and allowlng
Lhe men Lo enLer and creaLe an lnner clrcle AfLer a few mlnuLes Lhey paused
and bowed Lo one anoLher and Lhen came lnLo one blg clrcle compleLlng Lhe unlon
262
Wllllam and ChrlsLlna enLered Lhe room carrylng flowers
and crysLals as a frlend reclLed a poem 1hey placed
glfLs for each oLher on Lhe alLar as guesLs hummed ln
chorus
1o synchronlze Lhe group energy everyone was lnvlLed
Lo face hls or her beloved or someone near Lhem Lo
eye gaze and breaLhe LogeLher reclLe a blesslng and afflrm
belng a clrcle of famlly" 1he couple lnLroduced
Lhe guesLs wlLh a few words abouL who each ls Lo
Lhem and Lhelr appreclaLlon Lo Lhem for belng famlly
1here was much drummlng and chanLlng everyone
proceeded lnLo Lhe couple's ceremony area chanLlng
l am god/goddess Lhe moLher/faLher all acLs of love
and pleasure are my rlLual"
ln Lrue LanLrlc sLyle Lhe couple Look Llme [usL belng
Lhere presenL ln Lhe momenL movlng slowly Laklng
Llme Lo breaLhe deeply 1hey even dld exerclses l have descrlbed ln Lhls book movlng
energy lnLo each oLher's hearL
LcsLasy LssenLlals
lollowlng anclenL LradlLlon boLh
a prlesL and prlesLess are ofLen
chosen as masLers of ceremony
(Lo faclllLaLe Lhe acLlvlLles) furLher
malnLalnlng Lhe balance of
male and female energles
ChrlsLlna sendlng love energy
lnLo Wllllam's hearL
aL Lhe weddlng
263
uanclng ls an lnLegral parL of Lhe ceremony
many LanLrlc couples are well versed ln Lhls arL
(ChrlsLlna and Wllllam Leach lL LogeLher) uances
lnclude blesslngs of Lhe dlfferenL energy cenLers
(chakras)
1he couple made dedlcaLlons and vows rlnglng a
crysLal bowl afLer each one Wllllam's dedlcaLlon
was arL of our relaLlonshlp ls LhaL we each have
our lndlvldual goals lnLenLlons and asplraLlons
whlch we work Loward and puL energy lnLo We
wanL Lo share Lhese wlLh you" Pls oLher sLaLemenLs
Lo everyone lncluded
We belleve ln servlce and exLendlng our love
and relaLlonshlp lnLo Lhe world Lhrough our
work LogeLher We recognlze LhaL we are on a
[ourney of growLh and heallng as lndlvlduals
and LogeLher and lL ls our deslre Lo become
lncreaslngly consclous and aware of ourselves
on every level
We have chosen 1anLra as parL of our splrlLual
pracLlce because we belleve Lhe paLh Lo
god/goddess reallzaLlon and consclous evoluLlon
musL lnclude Lhe body and all LhaL we are
We also recognlze LhaL we have shadow sldes and we are commlLLed Lo have be
wlLh and love all parLs of ourselves We belleve ln Lhe splrlLual paLh of relaLlonshlp
and see all our experlences as opporLunlLles for growLh and heallng
lL ls okay Lo be lmperfecL Lo noL know Lo be open Lo posslblllLy We belleve ln
learnlng Lhrough [oy fun and pleasure
We revel ln our many dlmenslons and saylng yes Lo belng parLners wlLh
god/goddess ln creaLlng heaven here on earLh
We experlence profoundly ln our bodles Lhe love LhaL we feel and generaLe LogeLher
and when we fall lnLo a flxaLlon LhaL ls noL of Lhls lovlng space Lhe afflnlLy
LhaL ls ln every cell of our bodles and permeaLlng our belngs always brlngs us
back Lo Lhls slmple LruLh
SupporL our love
Wllllam's vows Lo ChrlsLlna were
l love you and l love myself wlLhouL condlLlons or reservaLlons
l vow Lo conLlnue wlLh you on our paLh of growLh and servlce Lo myself each
oLher our famlly and communlLy
LcsLasy LssenLlals
SplrlLs are lnvlLed Lo Lhe ceremony
(lncludlng famlly members
noL presenL) as ls everyone from
Lhe couple's pasL all of Lhelr
prevlous llves (for Lhose who belleve
ln prevlous llves!) and splrlLs
of Lhe elemenLs (flre waLer
earLh alr) and of love and sacred
marrlage Lveryone bows ln
namasLe (Lhe Plndu greeLlng
acknowledglng LhaL god/goddess
ln me greeLs and celebraLes
god/goddess ln you")
264
l know LhaL l shall love you forever and beyond forever and LhaL my hlghesL
good ls served by acLlng ln allgnmenL wlLh Lhls greaL love
AfLer Lhe vows Lhe couple saL ln yab yum klsslng and breaLhlng LogeLher as Lhe
uldgerldoo sounds blessed Lhem
ChrlsLlna and Wllllam
connecLlng aL Lhelr
weddlng
As l have menLloned many Llmes LhroughouL Lhls book seLLlng lnLenLlon ls a fundamenLal
parL of LanLrlc lovemaklng ChrlsLlna and Wllllam's lnLenLlons lncluded Lhe
followlng
l am devoLed Lo my splrlLual paLh brlnglng forLh all Lhe LalenL arLlsLry knowledge
wlsdom and love LhaL ls my blrLhrlghL for Lhe evoluLlon of my belng and
all oLhers l ask for your supporL of Lhls lnLenLlon
MosL of all l wlsh Lo grow and deepen Lhe love for myself and you ln Lhls sacred
unlon and our capaclLy Lo work LogeLher cooperaLlvely and LanLrlcally l ask for
your supporL of Lhls lnLenLlon
263
l lnLend Lo be of servlce Lo boLh men and women and Lo help brlng abouL a
more lovlng peaceful world l ask for your supporL of Lhls lnLenLlon
ChrlsLlna added l am a moLher and wlll always love my chlldren l lnLend Lo be Lhere
for Lhem as much as l am able l ask for your supporL of Lhls lnLenLlon Wllllam's slmllar
lnLenLlon was l am a broLher son frlend and famlly member Lo many l lnLend
Lo be Lhere for Lhem as well as your chlldren and Lhe new famlly l am enLerlng lnLo as
much as l am able" And he added lL ls my lnLenLlon Lo allow for Lhe free flow of
abundance Lravel creaLlvlLy muslc en[oyable work healLh playfulness and bodlly
pleasures l ask for your supporL of Lhls lnLenLlon"
Acknowledglng LruLhs and each oLher ls anoLher lnLrlnslc parL of LanLrlc love LradlLlon
ChrlsLlna and Wllllams's acknowledgmenLs lncluded Lhese
We acknowledge LhaL we are mulLldlmenslonal belngs dlfferenL yeL equal We
acknowledge LhaL Lhere are lnflnlLe posslblllLles and we seek Lo know exacLly
whaL we wanL so we can dellghL ln Lhe [oy of creaLlng lL
We follow no one rellglon raLher we seek Lo undersLand Lhe splrlLual LruLhs conLalned
ln all We embrace 1anLra as a way of llfe whlch glves us Lhe key Lo heallng
knowlng and openlng our hearLs and bodles Lo LruLh and celebraLlng all of
llfe and Lhe dlvlne essence wlLhln all Lhlngs and all belngs
We honor celebraLe and care for our physlcal bodles as Lhe Lemple and we
say yes Lo full embodlmenL here brlnglng LogeLher ln harmonlc vlbraLlon and
expresslon Lhe sacred unlon of our lnner male and female energles and our
consclousness
We are commlLLed Lo nourlshlng ourselves body mlnd and splrlL and keeplng
our bodles healLhy and vlbranL LeL any dlvlslon beLween body and soul be
healed compleLely ln Lhls lovlng relaLlonshlp
Cur love does noL forsake oLhers lL embraces all oLhers
8undy and Llsa's louruay Weddlng 8lLual
1he preLLy and flL moLher of an adolescenL daughLer Llsa wrlLes greeLlngs cards for a
llvlng buL performs her own exqulslLe poeLry 8undy ls a Lall dark and handsome
acLor yoga Leacher and professlonal aLhleLe who also ls a LanLra Leacher 1hey meL aL
a yoga class and she knew he was her prlnce Llsa [olned Lhe Lralnlng classes LhaL
8undy was Leachlng glvlng Lhem added Llme Lo be LogeLher as she was sLlll llvlng ln
Cleveland whlle he was ln Callfornla
1hese meeLlngs gave Lhem an opporLunlLy Lo have many maglcal seLLlngs for Lhelr
vows Lo each oLher Cne nlghL parLlcularly ausplclous because of Lhe placemenL of
Lhe moon ln Lhe sky Lhey Lraveled Lo Lhe Lop of a mounLaln desplLe Lhe cold Lo be
closer Lo Lhe sky and slepL ouLdoors Lo be connecLed Lo Lhe elemenLs
266
ConslsLenL wlLh Lhe LanLrlc LradlLlon of Laklng Lurns as descrlbed ln ChapLers 10 and
11 Clvlng Per Lhe 8esL nlghLs Lver" and Clvlng Plm Lhe 8esL nlghLs Lver" 8undy
and Llsa each had Lhelr Lurn Lo be glver and also Lo recelve Lhe oLher's nurLurlng servlce
honorlng and lovlng 1helr marrlage ceremony lasLed four days and lncluded
many rlLuallsLlc and beauLlful choreographed sLeps
uay 1 Ponorlng Lhe goddess Llsa's day sLarLed wlLh 8undy nurLurlng her
wlLh massages and baLhs scenLed wlLh candles olls and hlblscus and rose peLals
followlng an easLern weddlng LradlLlon All day long he fed hls beloved exoLlc
frulLs surprlsed her wlLh love leLLers and small presenLs sang Lo her read poeLry
brushed her halr and klssed every parL of her Lo make her feel honored and
cherlshed
uay 2 Ponorlng Lhe god 1he followlng day was 8undy's Lurn Lo recelve
uurlng Lhose 24 hours Lhey made love wlLhouL comlng Lo cllmax breaLhlng ln
each oLher's deslre allowlng Lhe energy Lo bulld lnslde Lhelr bodles
uay 3 8eblrLhlng 1hls day was dedlcaLed Lo
Lhe advanced LanLrlc rlLual of reblrLhlng followed
by a feasL 1he foods represenL colors of
Lhe energy cenLers (for example red LomaLoes or
green arLlchokes) Lo symbollze LoLal connecLlon
Lovemaklng conLlnued wlLhouL comlng Lo orgasm
Lo conLlnue Lo bulld energy and deslre
uay 4 1aklng Lhe vows AL sunrlse Lhe couple
wenL naked Lo Lhe Lop of a cllff overlooklng Lhe
ocean near Lhelr home wlLh a shamaness mlnlsLer
(enllghLened belng) as a wlLness As Lhe sun
came up Lhey exchanged Lhelr vows ln a
MalLhunasLyle ceremony (descrlbed ln ChapLer
16) 1hey saL ln yab yum wlLh llngam lnslde
yonl Lo creaLe a LoLal connecLlon looklng lnLo
each oLher's eyes honorlng Lhe 108 gods and
goddesses ln each oLher 1hey spoke Lhelr hearLfelL
promlses for Lhelr llfe LogeLher wrlLLen by
Lhem especlally for Lhe occaslon
CLher rlLuals ln 8undy and Llsa's ceremony
1he shamaness broughL ln Lhe energles of Lhe four dlrecLlons earLh and sky and
all Lhe anclenLs so LhaL Lhelr bodles would become one wlLh each oLher's and all
of Lhe cosmos
1anLra 1uLorlal
8eblrLhlng summarlzed ln
ChapLer 16 Advanced 1anLrlc
Lovemaklng 1echnlques" ls a sacred
process ln whlch a person's
blrLh ls reenacLed buL ensurlng
LhaL lL ls a poslLlve experlence
1he process ls aLLended and asslsLed
by Lhose who greaLly
honor and respecL lL and LreaL lL
wlLh greaL reverence
267
8undy and Llsa dld exLended breaLhlng LogeLher connecLlng all Lhelr chakras
(sex hearL Lhlrd eyes klsslng) Lhelr bodles vlbraLlng (noL havlng orgasm) melLlng
deeper and deeper lnLo each oLher
1he couple lay back Lo back wlLh Lhelr sacrums Louchlng Lo allow Lhelr powerful
kundallnl energy Lo rlse as Lhe sun rose
8undy and Llsa celebraLe
Lhelr love
Mark and aLrlcla's Plndu llre Ceremony
Mark Mlchaels and aLrlcla !ohnson are a LanLra Leacher Leam 1hey goL marrled ln a
LanLrlc ceremony aL whlch Lhelr dear frlend and Leacher 8hagavan uas performed a
Plndu flre ceremony asslsLed by hls wlfe Mlra CuesLs lncluded Lhelr parenLs who parLlclpaLed
ln Lhe rlLual LaLer a small group of LanLrlkas gaLhered Lo lnvoke anclenL LradlLlons
and bless Lhelr unlon
lL was a beauLlful and profound experlence" says Mark We feel lL ls only one of
many marrlage ceremonles we wlll have" 1hls ls conslsLenL wlLh Lhe LradlLlon of Lhe
Plndu weddlng ceremony ln whlch you make a commlLmenL for seven llfeLlmes
268
erhaps more lmporLanL" Mark adds we vlew marrlage noL as a sLaLe of belng or
someLhlng broughL lnLo belng by a ceremony 8aLher lL ls a process an ongolng unfoldlng
1hus we are consLanLly ln Lhe process of marrylng each oLher Con[ugal"
comes from Lhe same SanskrlL rooL as Lhe word yoga" 1he rooL yug means yoklng
or unlon ur !ohn Mumford (Lhelr Leacher) Lells us LhaL lL ls Lhe mosL dlfflculL yoga of
all As ln oLher forms of yoga Lhe process of marrlage ls noL abouL achlevlng a goal lL
ls all abouL whaL happens along Lhe way"
1anLra Leachers Mark and
aLrlcla aL Lhelr weddlng
keeplng Lhe llres 8urnlng
AnLolneLLe and ulck Aslmus Leachers aL
1anLrlka lnLernaLlonal have malnLalned Lhelr
monogamous commlLmenL Lo each oLher ln a
marrlage LhaL has lasLed more Lhan 30 years
Cur love ls sLronger because of our LanLrlc
pracLlce" says AnLolneLLe Pow do Lhey do lL?
AnLolneLLe shares Lwo of Lhelr secreLs We
honor our commlLmenL Lo each oLher every
day by maklng love and lncludlng some yoglc
and splrlLual pracLlces ln our lovemaklng And
every Lwo or Lhree monLhs we make a daLe for
a LanLra day where we experlence Lhe Llmelessness
of LanLrlc lovemaklng for a whole day
celebraLlng aL Lhe end of Lhe day wlLh dlnner
aL a flvesLar resLauranL" ?ummy!" she adds
1anLra Leachers aul 8amana uas and Marllena
Sllbey have been marrled ln a LanLrlc unlon for
more Lhan a decade and call Lhelr parLnershlp
1anLra 1ales
1anLra Leachers Sasha Lessln and
!aneL were aL a conference aL a
Callfornla reLreaL cenLer aLLended
by many LanLrlc frlends
when Lhey declded one evenlng
Lo geL marrled and creaLed a
ceremony on Lhe spoL 1he brlde
and groom were llfLed ln Lhe alr
ln chalrs as frlends (and anyone
else aL Lhe conference!) danced
around Lhem ln celebraLlon
269
an allgnmenL and alolnmenL meanlng Lhey are llned up splrlLually and sexually no
maLLer whaL Lhelr lndlvldual paLhs Cn a Lrlp Lo Pawall Lo celebraLe Marllena's 33Lh
blrLhday Lhey made a promlse Lo have a honeymoon every day" 1hey also wroLe a
parLnershlp consLlLuLlon ln whlch Lhey pledged Lo conLlnually pracLlce Lhe followlng
Love ln Lhelr hearLs for each oLher
Cood lnLenLlons
Clear communlcaLlon
oslLlve language
CelebraLlon of Lhelr male and female aspecLs ln Lhe healLhy dance of sacred
sexuallLy
A deep commlLmenL Lo an ongolng lnLlmaLe relaLlonshlp
We encourage everyone Lo come up wlLh Lhelr own llsL of decrees for Lhelr love"
says 8amana uas 1hls glves you a sense of [olnL wllllngness Lo weave a sLrong relaLlonshlp
and bulld love forever"
1anLrlc marrlage ceremonles lnclude many rlLuals of song dance and dedlcaLlons
Lo honor splrlLs gods and goddesses all guesLs and each oLher
Couples who marry ln LanLrlc ceremonles do noL always go Lhrough legal clvll
ceremonles or geL sLaLe llcenses yeL sLlll conslder Lhelr unlon sacred and deflnlLlve
1anLrlc marrlage ceremonles always lnclude personal sLaLemenLs from Lhe couple
and someLlmes from guesLs Lo seL lnLenLlons make acknowledgmenLs and
sLaLe llfeLlme pledges
1anLrlc marrlage ceremonles are usually one of many Lo slgnlfy ongolng commlLmenL
Cngolng and shared LanLrlc pracLlce can help solldlfy a couple's longLerm
commlLmenL

ChapLer 21
When Pe 8eslsLs
or She SLrays
ln 1hls ChapLer
When you're sure abouL LanLrlc sex buL your parLner lsn'L
Pow Lo change a skepLlcal parLner's mlnd
Maklng lL work desplLe dlfferenL polnLs of vlew
Can LanLrlc love survlve an affalr?
Lnergy boosLers whaL you can do Lo relgnlLe Lhe spark
Surely you are exclLed abouL your LanLrlc [ourney ?ou've shlfLed your perspecLlve
abouL sex and love and are becomlng lnLrlgued wlLh Lhe posslblllLles for Lhe deepesL
connecLlon you have ever known 8uL walLLhere's a rock ln Lhe road WhaL lf your
parLner ls noL as lnLrlgued as you even afLer you've shown hlm or her Lhls book?
WhaL can you do? Can you ever convlnce someone Lo share your new vlslon? 1hls
chapLer wlll help you wlLh LhaL dllemma
Worse yeL whaL lf you've already convlnced your parLner Lo en[oy LanLallzlng LanLra
buL Lhen he or she Look lL furLher Lhan Lhe boundarles of your relaLlonshlp and leL
Lhe sexual energy lead hlm or her lnLo bed wlLh someone else? Cr perhaps lL's you
who ls LempLed Lo LasLe Lhe Lreasures of anoLher LanLrlc lover and fears Lhe havoc lL
wlll wreak on your presenL relaLlonshlp WhaL Lo do now? 1hls chapLer addresses
Lhose lssues Loo
272
When Cne of ?ou ls Convlnced 8uL Lhe CLher
lsn'L Sure
lf you're ln a relaLlonshlp and you boLh agree Lo flnd ouL whaL LanLrlc sex ls all abouL
lL's easy Lo begln pracLlclng lmmedlaLely ?ou've sLarLed already by geLLlng Lhls far ln
Lhls book ?ou can sLarL rlghL now Lo puL lnLo pracLlce whaL you're readlng Check
Appendlx 8 Workshops Web SlLes 1eachers and 1anLra CommunlLles" for workshops
and recommended Leachers and slgn up rlghL now for a semlnar Lo learn more
8uL whaL lf you've dlscovered LanLrlc sex and really wanL Lo pursue Lhe exclLlng
Lhlngs you're readlng abouL ln Lhls book buL your currenL paramour ls unsure? lL ls
noL uncommon LhaL one person ln a relaLlonshlp ls lnLrlgued and ready for a new
paLh whereas Lhe oLher has reservaLlons uon'L despalr all ls noL losL l can offer you
some hope l've seen lL happen A parLner can come around Pere are some suggesLlons
Lo approach a reslsLanL beloved wlLh your deslre Lo Lravel Lhls paLh LogeLher
8e prepared for Lhe excuses ?our parLner mlghL say Lhere's noL enough Llme for
pracLlce or money for courses lnsLead of proLesLlng llsLen and accepL hls polnL
of vlew 8eslsLance only geLs sLronger lf you argue or make your parLner wrong
undersLand and accepL Lhe fears 1he pracLlces ln LanLrlc sex can make you feel
vulnerable as feellngs come up LhaL mlghL have been suppressed for years lL's
noL easy Lo be presenL ln Lhe momenL lnsLead of geLLlng angry empaLhlze LhaL
your parLner mlghL noL have Lhe sLrengLh aL Lhls Llme Lo be so open and
vulnerable
Lxplaln your polnL of vlew and your lnLeresL ln Lhe pracLlces clearly and wlLhouL
defenslveness
1alklng Lhrough your dlfferences
abouL LanLra
273
ChapLer 21 When Pe 8eslsLs or She SLrays
olnL ouL Lhe beneflLs LhaL she can relaLe Lo lf your parLner values physlcal flLness
emphaslze Lhe healLh beneflLs lf she ls more psychologlcally orlenLed descrlbe
posslble growLh from an emoLlonal polnL of vlew
Supply your lover wlLh vldeos Web slLes books and audloLapes (check Lhose
llsLed ln Appendlxes 8 and C) Lo lllusLraLe LhaL Lhls ls a sacred pracLlce Lxplaln
Lhe mood energy splrlL and phllosophy of LanLra Lo your parLner SomeLlmes a
plcLure ls worLh a Lhousand words so vldeos can offer clear plcLures of whaL
LanLra ls abouL especlally helpful for beglnners on any splrlLual paLh Audlo
Lapes can help Loo as Lhey offer a more personal Louch Lhan an adverLlslng flyer
wlLh a volce Lalklng Lo you 1anLra masLer Charles Mulr sends a free audloLape
on requesL LhaL descrlbes Lhe pracLlces ln a clear and engaglng way (you'll flnd
hls conLacL lnformaLlon ln Appendlx 8)
8e honesL abouL whaL you Lhlnk and feel Cffer Lo show your parLner whaL you
have dlscovered and why you feel LanLrlc sex ls a wonderful llfesLyle cholce
Speak Lo your parLner up fronL abouL your deslre Lo sLudy LanLra Clve hlm a
chance Lo be supporLlve
uon'L nag ALLlLudes can change so brlng Lhe sub[ecL up every now and Lhen
buL noL wlLh perslsLence and annoyance
Avold cllmblng on a pulplL lL's dlfflculL Lo converL someone Lo whaL you Lhlnk
and belleve Ponor your parLner's paLh Allow your parLner Lo be herselfand
you Lo be you Llke phllosophy or rellglon deep LhoughLs regardlng splrlLuallLy
and sexuallLy are unlque Lo each lndlvldual and are very personal cholces
ulLlmaLely supporL your parLner's poslLlon as LhaL ls Lhe splrlL of LanLra
ConLlnue your lovlngness as LhaL ls Lhe goal of Lhe paLh
Pell no l Won'L Co!
1he dread of course ls LhaL you are really gung ho abouL Laklng Lhls hlgh road Lo
bllss buL your parLner ls dead seL agalnsL lL lL can happen 8uL don'L be so qulck Lo
Lhrow ln Lhe Lowel on Lhe relaLlonshlp arLnershlps have survlved when one person
sLudles LanLra buL Lhe oLher doesn'L Cf course lL would be beLLer lf you boLh spoke
Lhe same language Cf course lL's more serlous Lhan lf one of you llkes sushl and Lhe
oLher crlnges aL Lhe LhoughL of raw flsh or lf one of you llkes romance movles and
Lhe oLher prefers classlc comedles or lf one of you wanLs Lo cllmb Lhe Plmalayas and
Lhe oLher can Lhlnk of noLhlng beLLer Lhan vegglng ouL on a beach lL's more serlous
Lhan LhaL because LanLra ls a commlLmenL Lo a llfesLyle 8uL when your love ls worklng
on oLher levels you can sLlll be a Leam ralslng klds sharlng your dreams and
even maklng love
274
know WhaL's 8esL for ?ou
SLay on your personal paLh 8ecognlze your own fears of belng alone or dlsagreelng
wlLh a parLner whose oplnlon or approval you value When you malnLaln your lnLegrlLy
you mlghL suffer some consequences buL you'll never lose yourself ln Lhe lasL
analysls you have Lo declde whaL's besL for you lf
your parLner [usL won'L share Lhls paLh wlLh you you
mlghL have Lo go on Lhe [ourney alone 8uL you can
sLlll sLay LogeLherlf you brlng home Lhe love you
learn Lo generaLe and make lL beneflL Lhls relaLlonshlp
A parLner's reacLlon ls a LesL of hls or her characLer
karln's husband Lold her lf you feel you'll be happy
flndlng ouL whaL Lhls ls all abouL go for lL l'm noL lnLeresLed
buL l supporL you dolng whaL you need Lo
do" 1haL shows Lrue love! Cn Lhe oLher hand uonna
was so dlsmayed aL lrank's deslre Lo go Lo a LanLra lnLroducLory
class LhaL she LhreaLened Lo daLe oLher men
and hld mall LhaL he recelved from Lhe LanLra organlzaLlon
Per lnLolerance revealed her Lrue characLer
LhaL had noL been as evldenL before LvenLually lrank
knew lL had Lo be over
Ponor ?our AgreemenLs
1anLra Leaches honor 8especL your agreemenLs wlLh a
parLner especlally regardlng Lhe mosL senslLlve lssue of
commlLmenL and excluslvlLy abouL sexuallLy 8e honesL abouL whaL your lnLenLlons
are Cffer reassurancelf you can do so honesLlyLhaL you wlll noL engage ln any acLlvlLles
LhaL are noL ln allgnmenL wlLh your relaLlonshlp agreemenL ?our parLner deserves
your love and respecL Make sure you are sLudylng LanLra wlLh a pracLlLloner
who wlll honor respecL and supporL your relaLlonshlp agreemenL ask Lhe Leacher
any quesLlons LhaL you have abouL your slLuaLlon Lo geL some advlce and supporL
uon'L Sneak Cff Lo a 1anLra 1alk
8e honesL lf you declde Lo aLLend an evenlng evenL or class or see a pracLlLloner or
healer wlLhouL your parLner Lxplaln LhaL your lnLenLlon ln galnlng Lhls knowledge
experlence or heallng ls Lo grow and Lransform your ablllLy Lo deepen your love ln
Lhls relaLlonshlp and ln all of your llfe
lL ls posslble LhaL pursulng LanLrlc
sex can draw you Loward llkemlnded
people wlLh whom you
share more Llme and lnLlmacy
whlch can lead you Lo declde
LhaL your prlmary relaLlonshlp ls
noL so saLlsfylng 1haL's Lhe Llme
Lo Lalk serlously wlLh your parLner
abouL your fuLure LogeLher
and Lo conslder seeklng professlonal
counsellng
273
Share ?our CrowLh
AfLer your LanLra class prlvaLe heallng sesslon or
LanLra semlnar share whaL you experlenced wlLh
your parLner even lf he or she doesn'L have a deep
appreclaLlon or undersLandlng of whaL you are
golng Lhrough As you learn show your parLner
Lhe lmmedlaLe effecLs of your Lralnlng and your
newfound senslLlvlLy lovlng ways carlng aLLlLudes
and splrlLual depLh keep maklng a lowkey lnvlLaLlon
Lo [oln you aL some enLrylevel evenL LhaL
would be especlally safe and nonLhreaLenlng 8e
paLlenL 8emember Lo allow your parLner Lo keep
sharlng hls or her concerns over Llme and glve you
feedback
When Lhe Colng CeLs 1ough
8e prepared LhaL a parLner's dlfferlng experlence
feellngs or [udgmenLs abouL LanLra can preclplLaLe
a confronLaLlon ln your relaLlonshlp l know Lhls
could be LraumaLlc buL welcome lL! uon'L blame lL
dlrecLly on LanLra A blowup [usL means LhaL you
were headed Loward some plvoLal momenL anyway
Lhls [usL happened Lo be Lhe caLalysLlL could
have been someLhlng else!
1he Loplc of LanLra presses people's hoL buLLons
because lL's assoclaLed wlLh sex (already a LhreaLenlng
sub[ecL) and promlses LransformaLlon (worrlsome
lf you fear Lhe unknown) 8eread and share
wlLh your parLner Lhe secLlons abouL Lhe correcLlons
of myLhs abouL sex and LanLra ln ChapLer 1
WhaL ls 1anLrlc Sex?"
When a 8elaLlonshlp Pas
Lo Lnd
SomeLlmes you can Lhank your lucky sLars LhaL Lhlngs came Lo a head and LhaL you
and your parLner broke up because of your separaLe paLhs 8e graLeful you found ouL
now LhaL you were lncompaLlble uon'L secondguess whaL could have happened
lace Lhe sadness and use Lhe experlence as a realllfe experlence of LanLrlc prlnclples
LhaL Lhe love you have never leaves you even Lhough parLlcular people mlghL
8locks Lo 8llss
lf you aLLend LanLra funcLlons
don'L keep lL a secreL from your
beloved 1hls klnd of decepLlon
ls conLrary Lo LanLrlc pracLlce and
erodes Lhe energy LhaL you are
Lrylng Lo purlfy ln facL your
pracLlces may make you more
vulnerable Lo belng caughL ln
any decelL because Lhey make
you more LransparenL ln Lhe
course of belng open and lovlng
8locks Lo 8llss
A parLner's reslsLance Lo LanLra
mlghL be based on pasL abuse
LhaL has been repressed
unconsclous confllcLs and fears
mlghL be Lrlggered aL Lhe
LhoughL of belng open Lo feellngs
and love
276
1anLrlc 1olerance
ln Lhese modern Llmes Lhere are many relaLlonshlp paradlgms LhaL are accepLable
More and more people are chooslng Lo deflne Lhelr own rules Coupllngs LhaL were
once seen as alLernaLlve are now more malnsLream and people are becomlng more
open abouL Lhelr cholces and llvlng whaL's real for Lhem lnsLead of leadlng a double
llfe ln fear of whaL oLhers and socleLy Lhlnk of Lhem
1hls new era ls seelng a reemergence of Lhe open relaLlonshlps LhaL bloomed buL
bombed ln Lhe 1970s Couples chooslng more love for all called polyamorous accepL
and lnvlLe Lhlrd fourLh or flfLh parLles Lo [oln Lhelr lnLlmaLe clrcle lncludlng sexual
acLlvlLy olyamorous men and women face challenges wlLh commlLmenL and [ealousy
llke LradlLlonal monogamous palrs buL feel Lhls new way of relaLlng ls more saLlsfylng
for Lhem 1here are communlLles and convenLlons for couples sharlng Lhls
llfesLyle (see Appendlx 8 for references)
WhaL Lo uo AbouL 1anLrlc Sex Affalrs
MosL affalrs are palnful and can be even more so when LanLrlc sex pracLlces are lnvolved
because of Lhe assoclaLlon Lo hlgher levels of eroLlclsm and Lherefore deeper
connecLlons Cne parLner's sexual relaLlons or llalsons LhaL Lhe oLher does noL sancLlon
are lnevlLably hurLful 8efore beLrayal sends you off Lhe deep end evaluaLe Lhe
slLuaLlon lncludlng Lhe reasons lL happened your cholces abouL whaL Lo do and
whaL new level you can reach ln your relaLlonshlp as a resulL
1anLra 1ales
Cassle dragged SLeve Lo Lhree LanLra weekend workshops around Lhe counLry desperaLe
Lo break Lhrough hls conLrolllng naLure and geL hlm Lo be more lnLlmaLe l love maklng
love wlLh hlm" she sald buL when he's deep lnslde me he geLs Lo LhrusLlng fasL and l Lry
Lo geL hlm Lo feel Lhe love we have buL lL's Loo laLe" SLeve en[oyed some of Lhe exerclses
durlng Lhe workshops buL back home he complalned LhaL he had no Llme or lnLeresL
Lo do Lhem evenLually he Lold her l can'L do Lhls anymore" and asked her Lo move
ouL Cassle came Lo see Lhe value of belng seL free from Lhls unfulfllllng relaLlonshlp and
honor her own deslre for a more lnLlmaLe connecLlon lnsLead of belng obsessed wlLh
changlng SLeve
277
An Affalr as Lnergy 8oosLer
1he reasons people cheaL are dlverse lncludlng lnLlmacy and commlLmenL fears slLuaLlons
LhaL separaLe parLners or puL Lwo people LogeLher under lnLense clrcumsLances
anger Loward Lhe parLner or even a dlfferenL phllosophy of llfe Some people don'L
wanL Lo be monogamous and Lhelr cheaLlng
doesn'L necessarlly polnL Lo any underlylng problem
ln Lhe relaLlonshlp ln many relaLlonshlps
however an affalr ls a wakeup call Lo a slLuaLlon
LhaL desperaLely needs Lo be addressed
ln LanLrlc Lerms seelng relaLlonshlps as energy
Lhere ls anoLher reason for affalrs lL's called a
search for an energy boosLer 8ecause everyLhlng ln
LanLra can be seen as energy an affalr ls noL necessary
all LhaL ls necessary ls a new and equally exclLlng
way Lo boosL energy
A relaLed Lheory posLulaLes LhaL people seek whaL ls
called new 8elaLlonshlp Lnergy (n8L) As descrlbed
ln Lovlng More a magazlne abouL Lhe polyamorous
llfesLyle Lhls deflnes Lhe hlghenergy spark and
rush of chemlcals felL when you meeL someone
new and geL a surge of exclLemenL from Lhe aLLracLlon
LxLra 8elaLlonshlp Lnergy or LxLernal 8elaLlonshlp
Lnergy has Lhe same effecL buL comes abouL
beLween people who have known each oLher a
whlle and had lnfrequenL conLacL
Affalrs arlse from an llluslon LhaL someone ouLslde
of Lhe relaLlonshlp has more aLLracLlve energy
Lhey appear more sexy exclLlng and deslrable because
Lhey're noL Lhe one handllng bllls Laklng Lhe
caL Lo Lhe veL or messlng up Lhe baLhroom A good
way Lo affalrproof your relaLlonshlp When you're
LempLed Lo sLray always lmaglne whaL lL would be
llke ln dally llfe wlLh a new lover
1he mosL common area LhaL breaks down ln longLerm
relaLlonshlps ls sexuallLy LlLher Lhe sex lLself
lsn'L good or oLher problems arlse and lovemaklng
goes from lnfrequenL Lo never Anger or gullL
shows up ln lmpoLence or wlLhdrawal from sex
Couples bulld up resenLmenLs and dlsappolnLmenLs
LhaL lf lefL unresolved could erode a
couple's ablllLy Lo open up ln sex lf Lhe problem ls
never addressed Lhe enLlre relaLlonshlp erodes and
LcsLasy LssenLlals
We ofLen are aLLracLed Lo and
aLLracL lovers who reflecL unresolved
lssues we had wlLh our
prlmary careglvers whlle growlng
up and Lhen wanL Lo hurL
cheaL or leave Lhem ldenLlfy
how presenL parLners resemble
pasL lmporLanL people ln your
llfe ln some physlcal emoLlonal
psychologlcal or energeLlc way
so you don'L keep repeaLlng Lhe
same paLLerns
As a LheraplsL l am consLanLly
sLruck by how much couples
Lake each oLher for granLed so
soon ln a relaLlonshlp lnsLead of
looklng for sparks wlLh someone
else creaLe LhaL deslrable energy
by Lapplng lnLo new parLs of
yourself wlLh your parLner
278
can lead Lo a breakup over someLhlng LhaL seems unrelaLed ?ou have Lo have courage
Lo Lalk abouL whaL your sexual needs and problems are and geL help
1anLrlc parLners are Luned ln Lo energles wlLhln Lhemselves and Lhe people around
Lhem so Lhey are more llkely Lo sense when someLhlng ls awry lf you sense a problem
brewlng ln your relaLlonshlp address lL now wlLh your parLner before lL geLs blgger
and more dlfflculL Lo solve 1rusL your LanLrlc lnLulLlon!
ConslderaLlons AbouL 1anLrlc Affalrs
lf one of you has an affalr lL's Llme Lo ask some hard quesLlons of yourself and your
parLner use Lhese quesLlons as a gulde Lo clarlfy some lssues and sLarL a confronLlng
conversaLlon
Are you or your parLner lnvolved romanLlcally ln a relaLlonshlp wlLh someone
else buL noL havlng sex wlLh LhaL person?
lf sex ls lnvolved whaL Lype of sexual acLlvlLy ls lL?
ls proLecLlon belng used?
WhaL Lypes of dlseases are you belng exposed Lo?
WhaL are your agreemenLs abouL fldellLy and has elLher of you vlolaLed Lhose
agreemenLs?
WhaL ls Lhe naLure of Lhe oLher" relaLlonshlp? ls Lhe Lhlrd person" an ongolng
lover or a fleeLlng relaLlonshlp?
Are you boLh belng honesL now or Lelllng lles?
uo you boLh really wanL Lo know whaL's golng
on?
WhaL are Lhe moLlvaLlons behlnd Lhe affalr?
Pow have you each conLrlbuLed Lo Lhls slLuaLlon
and Lo any behavlor you flnd upseLLlng?
WhaL sLeps can you do Lo lmprove or change
Lhe slLuaLlon?
uo you wanL Lhe relaLlonshlp Lo end?
ls Lhe relaLlonshlp already dead and you [usL
haven'L burled Lhe corpse?
uo you wanL Lo conLlnue and Lry Lo flx Lhe relaLlonshlp?
1anLra 1uLorlal
An affalr always lnvolves some
breakdown ln communlcaLlon ln
a relaLlonshlp Learn Lo effecLlvely
communlcaLe your wanLs
and deslres Lo each oLher When
you open up you mlghL be surprlsed
aL whaL you each have
longed Lo share lrom LhaL place
of openness all Lhlngs are
posslble
279
lL's noL easy Lo have a confronLaLlon buL when lL's necessary have Lhe courage Lo do
lL ln Lhe course of a llfeLlme everyone experlences dlsappolnLmenLs ln love re[ecLlng
and belng re[ecLed abandonlng or belng abandoned nelLher poslLlon feels good
Always keep ln mlnd LhaL denlal only posLpones paln dlscusslng dlfflculL lssues leads
Lo some rellefand resolve
1he Lnergy 8oosLer CheckllsL
ulLlmaLely an affalr ls an opporLunlLy for heallngelLher yourself or your relaLlonshlp
Look aL everyLhlng LhaL happens as a wlnnlng slLuaLlon for you ln Lhe long run
As a relaLlonshlp LheraplsL for many years l know LhaL any relaLlonshlp can work lf
boLh people wanL lL Lo ?ou can heal from LanLrlc love affalrs lf you work aL sLaylng
LogeLher
8eflecL on whaL you and your parLner can do Lo glve your relaLlonshlp an energy
boosLer so you conLlnue Lo be fasclnaLed wlLh each oLher Can you learn noL Lo lnLerrupL
whlle he ls Lalklng? 1ake a class or flnd oLher lnLeresLs Lo become more wellrounded?
Lose welghL Lo feel more aLLracLlve abouL yourself? Make your llsL here Ask
your parLner Lo make a llsL Loo
?our 8elaLlonshlp Lnergy 8oosLers
WhaL l Can uo Lo lnfuse More Lnergy WhaL My arLner Can uo
ln My 8elaLlonshlp
l
2
3
4
3
Look over your llsLs and Lalk abouL whlch energy boosLers you can boLh puL lnLo
pracLlce Pow do you feel abouL each oLher's suggesLlons? ueclde Lo lmplemenL aL
leasL one of Lhese each week
280
lL ls posslble Lo pursue LanLrlc sex Lo enllghLenmenL and ecsLasy wheLher you
are slngle or ln a couple and wheLher or noL your parLner ls commlLLed Lo Lhe
same paLh
When one parLner wanLs Lo pursue LanLrlc sexuallLy buL Lhe oLher doesn'L Lhe
relaLlonshlp ls puL Lo a LesL Some survlve lf communlcaLlon and love keeps
growlng
SLudylng LanLra makes you more lnLulLlve and senslLlve Lo Lhe energy beLween
you Lherefore more aLLuned Lo poLenLlal problems 1rusL your lnLulLlon
1empLaLlon for llalsons wlLh oLhers on Lhe same paLh ls posslble and can lead
Lo affalrs LhaL could cause a breakup Powever sLaylng LogeLher desplLe sexual
dalllances ls posslble lf Lhe couple really wanLs Lo
1he LanLrlc llfesLyle demands honesLy so evenLually lf one of you has an affalr
Lhe LruLh has Lo be faced and new agreemenLs made abouL your fuLure
LogeLher
8e clear abouL your agreemenLs concernlng excluslvlLy and be senslLlve Lo
each oLher's needs sexually and oLherwlse
arL 6
1anLra for Lverybody ln
Lhe new Mlllennlum
now LhaL you've learned how powerfully Lhese pracLlces can manlfesL sexual energy
empowerlng you Lo have more [oy passlon and love you'll wonder wheLher Lhey can
apply Lo you and people you know 1he answer ls yes no maLLer whaL relaLlonshlp
you are ln no maLLer whaL your age LanLrlc prlnclples can make your llfe a Lhousand
Llmes rlcher
1anLra ls abouL honor respecL and heallng So ln Lhls parL you'll learn how Lo exLend
LhaL respecL and heallng Lo yourself Lo be ready Lo ad[usL Lo llfe changes wlLh new llfe
force And you'll see how you can apply LanLrlc prlnclples Lo every aspecL of your relaLlonshlps
and every llvlng Lhlngaround you 1hls wlll Lake you beyond sex Lo a
more lnLense force LhaL can acLually reach ouL and help heal Lhe planeL

ChapLer 22
A LlfeLlme
of 1anLra
Learnlng Lo Love
aL All Ages
ln 1hls ChapLer
Pow LanLrlc sex keeps you young
Laslng mldllfe LranslLlons
AdapLlng LanLrlc sex pracLlces for Leens
reparlng klds for a healLhler llfe
1eachlng LanLra ln schools
So far we've been concenLraLlng on LanLra for adulLs 8uL Lhe prlnclples and pracLlces
of LanLra are good for all ages Lveryone can learn Lo love aL any ageand see Lhe beneflLs
ln all of llfe
ln Lhls chapLer you'll learn how LanLra ls a genulne founLaln of youLhand can even
help Lhe young l don'L mean Lo lmply by any means LhaL klds should engage ln sex
buL l do mean LhaL pracLlclng LanLra yourself and Leachlng cerLaln prlnclples assoclaLed
wlLh LanLra can help ralse healLhler klds and creaLe beLLer relaLlonshlps for all
WanL Lo leel and Look ?oung Agaln?
ln our youLhorlenLed socleLy everyone ls ln search of Lhe founLaln of youLh ln
LanLrlc sex you can acLually flnd lL! AfLer LanLrlc lovemaklng you can look aL leasL 10
years youngerand oLher people noLlce l've heard men say Lo 40yearold women
arL 6 1anLra for Lverybody ln Lhe new Mlllennlum
284
afLer LanLrlc sex ?ou look llke a kld agaln!" 1helr faces dramaLlcally change skln
gllsLens and llnes dlsappear! Lyes sparkle and open wlde and smlles spread from
ear Lo ear
8e[uvenaLlon happens on several levels sychologlcally
you feel young! And physlologlcally Lhere are
real changes 1he physlcal acLlvlLles ln LanLrlc sex
pracLlcescycllng energy breaLhlng deeply exerclslng
muscles Lhrough whlLe LanLra (yoga) pracLlceskeep
organs vlLal by belng fed wlLh blood and nuLrlenLs
and keep Lhe body supple and Loned 1he neurons ln
Lhe braln are acLlvaLed and Lhe lmmune sysLem ls
sLlmulaLed conLrlbuLlng Lo allaround healLh and
malnLenance of youLhfulness
1he 8eal lounLaln of ?ouLh ln
AmrlLa llow
Some very experlenced LanLra Leachers and LanLrlkas
such as Carollne Mulr ln Maul credlL Lhe flow of amrlLa
(Lhe llquld emlLLed durlng female e[aculaLlon) for
re[uvenaLlon (1he Lechnlques for brlnglng abouL Lhe
flow have been descrlbed ln earller chapLers on how Lo
arouse Lhe woman and sLlmulaLe her goddess space or
C spoL) AmrlLa ls consldered Lhe necLar of Lhe goddess"
Lhe key Lo her lmmorLallLy and youLhfulness
lL ls a woman's glfL Lo herself and her lover" says
Carollne and deflnlLely keeps me young" AnoLher
experL dlsagrees clalmlng LhaL Lhe amrlLa flow ages
women AlLhough Lhls dlsmlssal can be conslsLenL
wlLh 1aolsL bellefs LhaL a man's e[aculaLlons draln hls
energy mosL women l know who have Lhls experlence
(myself lncluded) agree wlLh Carollne and Lreasure Lhe
experlence and lLs poslLlve effecLs As one woman sald
When my love llquld flows my whole face and belng
ls so full of [oy and so relaxed LhaL of course l look
young agaln!"
1anLra ln Clder ?ears
As Lhe percenLage of Lhe populaLlon over 63 has
Lrlpled durlng Lhe pasL cenLury undersLandlng sexuallLy
LhroughouL Lhe enLlre llfe span has become essenLlal
for everyone ConLrary Lo popular bellefs sexuallLy
1anLra 1ales
1he beneflLs of LanLra happened
for nancy AfLer her husband
dled nancy panlcked fearlng
1here wlll never be anoLher
man who knew me as a young
lover who saw my face aL 20
no one wlll remember how
preLLy l was as a young woman"
Powever pracLlclng LanLrlc sex
provlded a soluLlon Much Lo her
dellghL new lovers remarked Lo
her anyway ?ou look 20"
1anLra 1ales
1anLrlka Carla 1aranLola ls 39 buL
looks much younger someLhlng
she has been Lold by lovers l'm
convlnced lL ls my LanLrlc sex
pracLlces" says Carla l know
LhaL brlnglng my sexual energy
lnLo my hearL and llvlng from
love every momenL of my llfe ls
whaL makes me look so much
younger"
283
ChapLer 22 A LlfeLlme of 1anLra Learnlng Lo Love aL All Ages
can and does play an lmporLanL parL ln Lhe llves of older adulLs 1hose people who
were mosL sexually acLlve ln Lhelr younger years are mosL llkely Lo remaln sexually acLlve
as Lhey age Such sexual expresslon among Lhe elderly has been ldenLlfled as a
predlcaLor of general healLh
lorgeL any noLlons you mlghL have abouL cuLLlng back on sex as you age SLudles
show LhaL alLhough sexual acLlvlLy does decllne wlLh age Lhls ls parLly due Lo lllness
and unavallablllLy of parLners SexuallLy ls normal and naLural ln older years! SLudles
show LhaL sexual acLlvlLy ls posslble and Lakes place Lhrough Lhe 70s and beyond ln
any case remember LhaL LanLrlc sex as Lhe Lransmlsslon of energy goes way beyond
any speclflc sexual acLlvlLy or lnLercourse Lherefore pleasure and bllss are posslble for
your enLlre llfe
laclng Lhe Changes
Cur sexual deslre ls bombarded wlLh challenges from emoLlonal psychologlcal and
physlologlcal onslaughLs As we age hormones can wreak havoc on our physlcal
emoLlonal and sexual llfe LmoLlonal challenges escalaLe aL crlLlcal ages such as Lhe
classlc mldllfe crlsls Some experLs clalm LhaL mldllfe crlses are even sLarLlng now as
early as age 33 especlally ln our youLhdomlnaLed socleLy Lven younger men and
women ln Lhelr mld20s are golng Lhrough whaL l call Lhe quarLerllfe crlsls" sLresslng
ouL LhaL Lhey are no longer young" and now have Lo bear huge responslblllLles
as adulLs ln a fasLpaced compeLlLlve and moneyobsessed socleLy 8aby boomers bemoan
passlng years as Lhelr parenLs become lll chlldren grow up and leave Lhe nesL
frlends suffer hearL aLLacks aL younger ages and Lhey face Lhe everdreaded llfe revlew
wlLh regreLs or broken dreams 8uL lf you keep your energy surglng as Lhrough LanLrlc
pracLlces blologlcal slowdowns and emoLlonal
lows don'L have Lo ruln your llfe
Laslng Per 1lme 1hrough
Menopause
Clven physlcal and psychologlcal beneflLs of
LanLrlc sex as descrlbed LhroughouL Lhls book
movlng your energy Lhls way can ease Lhe sympLoms
of menopause 1hese lnclude body aches and
palns nlghL sweaLs headaches and even depresslon
1he flexlblllLy and shape of Lhe vaglna can
change and Lhlnnlng and shorLenlng of Lhe vaglnal
canal and less lubrlcaLlon can lead Lo paln and
avoldance of sex Powever LanLrlc sex pracLlces
llmber Lhe body help Lhe mlnd focus on oLher
pleasures and can even creaLe more lubrlcaLlon
1anLra 1uLorlal
Several research sLudles show LhaL
conLlnued sexual acLlvlLy keeps
you healLhy and LhaL general saLlsfacLlon
wlLh llfe love and sex
helps you llve longer 8oLh men
and women who conLlnued saLlsfylng
relaLlonshlps had fewer
physlcal allmenLs and lower morLallLy
raLes
286
naLurally lnsLead of drylng up" Lhe mldllfe menopausal woman can experlence an
lncrease ln her sex drlve and a sense of sexual freedom LhaL she's never felL before
As LanLrlc lover am says l salled Lhrough menopause wlLhouL even noLlclng excepL
LhaL l sLopped havlng my perlod" Menopausal women llke am who pracLlce LanLrlc
sex also accepL Lhelr change of llfe seelng lL as a blesslnga reunlon wlLh Lhe anclenL
moLher" Lven Lhough ferLlllLy ls revered ln Lhe LanLra LradlLlon Lhe goddess appears
equally ln older age ln Lhe form of Lhe wlse woman
SplrlLual counselor 8arbara 8lzou runs workshops for people ln llfe LranslLlon An experL
on rlLual and auLhor of Lhe book 1he !oys of Lveryday 8lLuals 8arbara recommends
Lhls rlLual LhaL a menopausal woman can do Lo celebraLe her llfe sLage and
acknowledge her LranslLlon lnLo a newand rlchsLage of llfe lnvlLe your frlends
over lncludlng Lhose who are also golng Lhrough menopause and ask each Lo wrlLe
down a memory abouL some palnful Llme aL anoLher sLage of llfe Lo release Lhe energy
of LhaL old memory and make room for Lhe new sLage LhaL Lhey are enLerlng
1hen burn Lhe pleces of paper ln a blg poL ln Lhe mlddle of Lhe room and as Lhey
burn each woman should llghL a candle and say a prayer for heallng Lhe pasL and
openlng up Lo Lhe sLarL of a new llfe
1anLra 1ales
uurlng Lhe change of llfe one of Lhe ma[or problems ls lack of lubrlcaLlon Powever
LanLra pracLlces can make you molsL agaln Says nancy now aL 49 l don'L geL as exclLed
lnsLanLly as l dld before buL Lhe LanLrlc pracLlces have LaughL me how Lo move my pelvls
and loosen up Lhe energy flow ln my body When l add Lhe movemenLs Lo my breaLhlng
wlLhln 10 mlnuLes l geL very lubrlcaLed SomeLlmes l don'L even need Lo reach orgasm because
Lhe pracLlces and pleasure ls enough"
When Pe Pas a MldLlfe Crlsls
Slmllarly LanLrlc sex pracLlces can ease Lhe sympLoms of whaL has become known as
male menopause (or andropause) when men gradually have less LesLosLerone as Lhey
age and go Lhrough slumps and depresslons slmllar Lo women Lowered hormone levels
can lead Lo a man's reduced sex drlve along wlLh less lnLeresL ln relaLlonshlps and
career As wlLh mldllfe women Lhe mldllfe man can geL Llred anxlous lrrlLable
287
sweaLy and achy Pe could feel helpless and hopeless Sexually he worrles abouL
belng less poLenL havlng less e[aculaLe and even wheLher hls penls ls shrlnklng
1anLrlc sex helps Lhese men by revlvlng a greaL sLorehouse of Lhelr energy and Leachlng
Lhem Lo shooL lL Lhrough Lhelr bodles (lnsLead of [usL ouL Lhe penls!) 1hey learn
Lo generaLe more energy ln Lhelr sex cenLer more blood Lhere leads Lo sLronger erecLlons
and a seemlngly blgger penls And Lhey learn Lo en[oy new levels of love and
creaLlvlLy energlzlng Lhem ln every aspecL of Lhelr famlly relaLlonshlps and
buslness llfe
8y learnlng Lechnlques Lo prolong sexual sLlmulaLlon before Lhey come as l ouLllned
ln greaL deLall ln ChapLer 12 Make Lovemaklng LasL and LasL and LasL" men
galn more conLrol over Lhelr e[aculaLlon 1he resulL ls more pleasure ln Lhelr sexual
relaLlonshlp whlch becomes an escalaLlng poslLlve cycle of beLLer sex more love
more happlness and feellng more poLenL WhaL a good deal!
Seven keys Lo Pappler Llfe 1ranslLlons 1hrough
1anLrlc Love
racLlclng LanLrlc sex offers many ways Lo keep you flL Lhrough all of llfe's changes ln
many ways
1anLra unleashes feellngs emoLlons and aLLlLudes LhaL you've always wanLed Lo
express ln a relaLlonshlp lL focuses you on lnLlmacy closeness affecLlon and
Lenderness Loward a parLner whlch susLalns
sexuallLy and provldes selfesLeem and
lnsplraLlonall essenLlal wlLh passlng years
1anLrlc sex Lakes you way beyond sex as [usL
lnLercourse Lo realms of lnLlmaLe expresslon
so LhaL [usL looklng ln each oLher's eyes or
breaLhlng LogeLher can seL off orgasmlc
waves 8omance klsslng hand holdlng and
oral sex are all honored Lo creaLe closeness
even when lnLercourse ls noL posslble
Lxplorlng Lhese opLlons deepens sexual expresslon
love and lnLlmacy
ln LanLrlc sex llmp llngams are [usL as loveable
as erecL ones ln facL energy can be
generaLed from Lhe llngam no maLLer whaL
lLs sLaLe
1anLrlc sex creaLes more lubrlcaLlon for Lhe
yonl and relaxes heals and revlLallzes Lhe
woman aL any age
LcsLasy LssenLlals
1here are many beneflLs of
LanLrlc orgasm Lo Lhe body and
braln Cycllng sexual and orgasmlc
energy LhroughouL Lhe body
vlLallzes ma[or organs and body
sysLems (lncludlng Lhe clrculaLory
cardlovascular nervous lmmune
and endocrlne sysLems)
SLlmulaLlng Lhe plLulLary and
plneal glands ls especlally poslLlve
because Lhey are cenLral Lo
Lhe paLhway Lo bllss ln Lhe braln
288
8ecause synchronlzlng Lhe parLners' energles ls fundamenLal ln LanLrlc sex some
physlologlcal changes (such as a man Laklng longer Lo achleve an erecLlon or
e[aculaLlon) can beneflL Lhe couple's lovemaklng
1anLrlc sex emphaslzes lovlng Louch whlch Lrlggers chemlcals from Lhe body
LhaL are proven Lo sLrengLhen Lhe lmmune sysLem and Lherefore ensure longer
llfebesldes maklng you feel loved and good all over
1anLra encourages expresslon and leads Lo hlgher sLaLes of sexual and emoLlonal
saLlsfacLlon whlch resulL ln hlgher selfesLeem furLher lnLenslfylng an overall
sense of wellbelng
lllllng Lhe LmpLy nesL
arenLs ofLen suffer dlsLress from whaL's called Lhe empLy nesL syndrome" when klds
leave home for school or marrlage uepresslon can resulL from belng separaLed from
chlldren as well as from belng faced wlLh a spouse whom Lhey hardly know anymore
because Lhe marrlage Look a back seaL Lo chlldrearlng or careers ?eL Lhls can be a Lerrlflc
Llme for sLarLlng LanLrlc pracLlce when Lhe couple needs Lo geL Lo know each
oLher agaln and when Lhey now have more Llme Lo spend LogeLher
When a arLner ules
1he largesL obsLacle for older couples ls lllness or Lhe deaLh of a parLner When Lhls
Lragedy happens you don'L have Lo end your LanLrlc love llfe Co back Lo belng your
own beloved and pleasure yourself AfLer you've mourned seek a new love and rellve
days of happlnessbelleve LhaL you won'L be beLraylng your parLner and LhaL you deserve
pleasure
1anLra for College SLudenLs
Meghan LamberL and 8yan ueluz are a Callfornlabased Leacher Leam Lralned ln krlya
LanLra yoga (Lhrough 1anLrlka lnLernaLlonal) who speclallze ln Leachlng college sLudenLs
As college sLudenLs Lhemselves Lhey conslder Lhelr age group lndlgo chlldren"
or chlldren of Lhe golden age" Accordlng Lo 8yan Lhls means LhaL Lhelr splrlLual
consclousness has naLurally evolved lnLo an awareness of hearL connecLlons and
subLle energles 1hls allows us as Leachers Lo do a loL more wlLh Lhe group" says
Meghan slnce Lhey brlng wlLh Lhem a creaLlve passlon for Lhls maLerlal whlch ampllfles
Lhe group energy"
?oung people are ready Lo dlscover who Lhey are as a creaLlve and sexual belng and
Lo channel lL ln a way LhaL wlll brlng Lhem Lo a deeper place of lnLlmacy wlLhln
Lhemselves and wlLhln all forms of relaLlonshlp" explalns Meghan who once referred
Lo herself as Mornlng SLar" and ls auLhor of a selfpubllshed book on dolphlns called
289
lree Llke a uolphln 8ecause Lhey are so open Lo experlence Lhemselves and because
Lhey feel so comforLable wlLh usslnce we are college sLudenLs Looour groups geL
very [ulcy" she explalns whlch means everyone ls exclLed and havlng fun"
Pavlng knowledge of LanLra aL Lhls age when you're havlng a loL of lnsecurlLy ln
yourself and your relaLlonshlps can ellmlnaLe a loL of sLumbllng and experlences LhaL
end up belng unfulfllllng" says 8yan lf you recelve Lhe Leachlngs as a young adulL
lmaglne whaL klnd of marrlage you can creaLe and lmaglne how rlch and powerful
your relaLlonshlps wlll be aL 30 40 or older ?ou are learnlng rlghL from Lhe sLarL how
Lo use your relaLlonshlps and llfe experlences as opporLunlLles Lo evolve splrlLually
and Lo heal yourself"
1anLra for 1eens
1eens even younger Lhan college sLudenLs can also relaLe Lo LanLra alLhough formal
workshops for Lhls age group are sLlll ln Lhelr lnfancy lL's ldeal Lo geL young people
Lhlnklng abouL enLerlng Lhelr llves of lovlng from a LanLra perspecLlve" says 8oulderbased
psychologlsL and Leen LanLra Leacher Shavana llneberg ln my work Leens geL
wonderful lessons abouL how Lo connecL from Lhelr hearL and redlrecL Lhelr sexual
energy boLh wlLhln Lhelr own bodles and Loward Lhelr acLlons ln Lhe ouLslde world
so Lhey don'L feel LhaL Lhe only Lhlng Lhey can do wlLh Lhls powerful energy ls Lo
have sex"
eople geL scared when Lhey Lhlnk of Leen
LanLra" says llneberg buL Lhls work ls noL abouL
Leens belng sexual ln facL Lhe exerclses glve
Leens more power Lo choose absLlnence 1he
workshops are equally approprlaLe for Leens
chooslng absLlnence Lhose Lhlnklng of belng sexual
and Lhose already sexually acLlve" ln group
dlscusslons glrls parLlcularly en[oy hearlng whaL
Lhe boys have Lo say abouL WhaL do boys really
wanL?" and boys really llke Lhe medlLaLlon exerclses
says llneberg
8elng honesL and learnlng Lo say no (Lo whaL you
don'L wanL or Lo golng ouL) ls anoLher favorlLe
lesson 8oys can feel a new sense of freedom and
confldence when Lhey learn LhaL Lhey can be Lhe
one besldes glrls Lo say no" Lo sex Cne 17yearold
boy Lold llneberg Learnlng how Lo say no Lo
a glrl when she was comlng on Lo me was a new
experlence"
1anLra 1uLorlal
MosL Leens ln LanLra groups are
referred by Lhelr parenLs who
have Laken LanLra workshops and
reallze Lhe value of Leachlng
Lhelr Leens abouL selfesLeem responslblllLy
communlcaLlon
frlendshlp and love as conLexLs
for sexual sharlng
290
PealLhler klds When ?ou're a 1anLra arenL
lollowlng a LanLrlc llfesLyle can help you ralse healLhy chlldren Pere are several ways
Lo do LhaL
8e a model of a lovlng relaLlonshlp klds learn from whaL Lhey see aL home lf
you are lovlng Lhey are more llkely Lo be lovlng Loo
Work ouL any of your own problems 1he happler you are as a person Lhe beLLer
mood you wlll be ln when you relaLe Lo Lhem lf you harbor anger Loward men
or women Lhey wlll plck up on lL
Show affecLlon When l'm asked as l so ofLen am When should l Leach my
klds abouL sex?" l always respond ?ou Leach Lhem abouL sex from Lhe momenL
Lhey are born by how you hold Lhem" Pold Lhem ofLen Lo glve Lhem comforL
and securlLy
Clve Lhem a poslLlve aLLlLude abouL sex and love 1oo many men and women l
have counseled suffer from fears embarrassmenL and shame abouL Lhelr bodles
or abouL sex you can prevenL Lhls by noL lnsLllllng Lhese aLLlLudes
1each youngsLers sLressreduclng Lechnlques such as medlLaLlon
lay wlLh klds ln ways LhaL helghLen Lhelr senslLlvlLy Lo relaLlonshlps and Lo
Lhelr bodles and leL Lhem have fun! Cne moLher Lold me LhaL on ralny days she
used Lo do vell danclng wlLh her chlldren 1hls was a wonderful game LhaL
LaughL my klds Lo feel comforLable wlLh Lhelr bodles Lven Lhough people Lhlnk
of vells as slssy lL was a greaL acLlvlLy for my son Lo help hlm geL pasL Lhe
macho ways hls faLher was always Leachlng hlm"
l've seen so many women and men suffer from negaLlve aLLlLudes ln Lhelr chlldhood
abouL masLurbaLlon LhaL rulned Lhelr sex llves and selfesLeem ln adulLhood arenLs can
prevenL Lhls by noL Lelllng chlldren Lhey are bad" or punlshlng Lhem for such behavlor
291
Pow Lhe School SysLem Can 8e 1anLrlc
CerLaln schoollng pracLlces may acLually be LanLrlc ln naLure even Lhough Lhey are
noL ldenLlfled as such CerLalnly Lhey are noL meanL Lo be sexual buL Lhey are meanL
Lo lncrease a chlld's sensory percepLlon 1haL sklll prepares chlldren for more self
awareness and greaLer capablllLy Lo be LoLally presenL ln each experlence and each
momenL
Cne cerLlfled preprlmary Leacher who ls also a LanLra Leacher and my good frlend
recognlzes Lhe asLoundlng slmllarlLles beLween adulL LanLra Lralnlng and Leachlng
young chlldren Whlle dolng her LanLra Lralnlng she noLlced how some of Lhe
exerclses were slmllar Lo Lhe exerclses LhaL she has used ln her 14 years of Leachlng
3 4 and 3yearolds Cf course Lhe exerclses for Lhe chlldren are noL lnLended for
sexual purposes" she Lold me 8uL Lhe value ln Lerms of sensory percepLlon and
encouraglng splrlL selfawareness and presence ln Lhe momenL are equlvalenLand
wonderful"
Lxamples of Lhese exerclses lnclude one LhaL sLlmulaLes senslLlvlLy Lo Lhe envlronmenL
by havlng klds Lruly smell Lhe alr when Lhey go ouLslde AnoLher encourages
Lhe capablllLy Lo Lruly experlence and dlsLlngulsh dlfferenL sensaLlons lor example ln
a fabrlc game klds plck pleces of fabrlc from a box LhaL maLch Lhe LexLure of fabrlc
rubbed on Lhelr palms Cr Lhey hold coLLon [ersey knlL or velveL and answer Lhe
quesLlon Are Lhese Lhe same or dlfferenL?"
ln a frulL play game sLrawberrles are puL on Lhe klds' Longues and Lhey answer Lhe
quesLlon WhaL does LhaL feel llke?" ln anoLher exerclse Lhe klds are glven 12 conLalners
wlLh subsLances lnslde LhaL represenL dlfferenL scenLs (llke peppermlnL vanllla
or coffee) and are challenged Lo puL Lhe conLalners wlLh slmllar scenLs slde by slde
1anLra 1ales
1he adolescenL daughLer of one of my besL frlends was geLLlng depressed abouL all Lhe normal
problems of her age group (school frlends body changes) 1hen she declded Lo redecoraLe
her room as a medlLaLlon sancLuary asklng her mom Lo palnL sLars on Lhe celllng
draplng gold cloLh over a dresser as an alLar on whlch Lo seL a sLaLue of 8uddha and collecLlng
oLher ob[ecLs LhaL felL splrlLual Lo her (crysLals palnLed boxes) uolng Lhls helped
her relax and feel more empowered maklng her feel connecLed Lo sLrong splrlLs
292
Sensory (LanLrlc") exerclses also encourage klds Lo fully experlence each momenL
Lhe same goal of adulL LanLra Lralnlng 1he klds' eyes would sparkle Lhe more Lhey
Luned ln Lo Lhelr senses" Lhe Leacher sald because
Lhey felL prlde over masLerlng Lhelr envlronmenL"
1he ayoff of Sensory
1ralnlng aL All Ages
Chlldren more fully experlenced ln LacLlle sense Lend
Lo be more senslLlve Lender and lovlng Loward Lhelr
peers" Lhe Leacher also Lold me calllng Lhe phenomenon
genLle hands for genLle creaLures" Such sensory
Lralnlng helps develop respecL honorlng each oLher
and more expresslveness ln communlcaLlon 1hey approach
each oLher wlLh hugs as opposed Lo Lhe aggresslveness
LhaL ls more common ln chlldren who are noL
Lralned ln Lhls way" she sald
Sensory awareness slmllarly lmproves adulL communlcaLlon
and selfesLeem lor example Lhe more LhaL
adulLs are senslLlve Lo Louch Lhe more nurLured Lhe cells ln Lhelr body feel and Lhe
more sofLly Lhey approach and Louch oLhers
1anLra 1uLorlal
Women en[oy sofL sensuous
Louch ln lovemaklng yeL fewer
men Lhan women have Lhe naLural
knack for sensuous massage
lor Lhls reason lL ls especlally
helpful Lo Leach young boys
how Lo develop keen sensory
percepLlon
1anLrlc sex pracLlces are re[uvenaLlng and help you look and feel younger
1anLra can help men and women deal wlLh Lhe emoLlonal psychologlcal
physlologlcal and hormonal changes LhaL come wlLh menopause and mldllfe
LranslLlons
1he prlnclples of LanLra help Leens and collegeage klds develop healLhler aLLlLudes
Loward sex have hlgher selfesLeem and make wlser cholces abouL Lhelr
relaLlonshlps
8alslng chlldren wlLh LanLrlc sex prlnclples ln mlnd does noL encourage lrresponslble
sexuallLy raLher lL helps Lhem grow up Lo be lovlng people
1eachlng Lhe prlnclples of LanLra Lo people of all ages makes Lhem more senslLlve
Loward Lhe world around Lhem and klnder Lo oLher people
ChapLer 23
LlfesLyles and
SlLuaLlons
1anLra for All
8elaLlonshlps
ln 1hls ChapLer
1anLra ln Lhe world of cyberspace
Seelng beyond Lhe physlcal Lo Lhe soul
1anLrlc sex for gay men and women
1he value of LanLra ln dlsablllLy
1anLra ln new models of relaLlng
Pow LanLrlc lovlng energy beneflLs everyLhlng around you
ln Lhe lasL chapLer l Lalked abouL how LanLra Leaches valuable lessons and love for people
of all ages buL whaL abouL all persuaslons? ?es Lhe pracLlce can apply Lo every relaLlonshlp
or slLuaLlon you're ln because LanLra ls based on Lhe unlon of energles noL
speclflc enLlLles or even speclflc genlLalla 1hls makes Lhe pracLlces appllcable Lo everyone
regardless of sexual orlenLaLlon physlcal form or even presence ln Lhe flesh
slnce LanLra llke every oLher Loplcls Laklng on a cyberform!
CyberLanLra
WlLh Lhe lncreaslng presence of Lhe lnLerneL and advances ln Lechnology some people
are becomlng Lechnologlcal LanLrlc parLners lncludlng pracLlclng cyberLanLra 1haL
means LhaL [usL as ln oLher aspecLs of relaLlonshlps Lhe pracLlces of LanLra are belng
294
exchanged over Lhe lnLerneL wlLh LanLra enLhuslasLs communlcaLlng wlLh each oLher
or even cllenLs seeklng sesslons over cyberspace
ln Lhe laLesL edlLlon of my book 1he CompleLe ldloL's Culde Lo a PealLhy 8elaLlonshlp l
devoLe an enLlre chapLer Lo Lhe upsldes and downsldes of new Lechnology on relaLlonshlps
and how Lo use lL Lo your advanLage CeL a copy and read LhaL chapLer Lo geL a
full plcLure of how Lhls new world ls changlng and how you can keep your love allve
ln Lhe mldsL of lL all! All Lhe valuable advlce glven Lhere serves as a good foundaLlon
and addlLlon Lo whaL l am sharlng wlLh you here abouL pracLlclng LanLra
1he ros of CyberLanLra
1anLra ls abouL openlng one's hearL Lo love lor many people who are Loo shy or
afrald Lo be open ln personal relaLlonshlps Lhe dlsLance of Lhe lnLerneL allows Lhem
Lo be more open ln an apparenL shleld of safeLy ConnecLlng Lhrough Lechnology
raLher Lhan ln person can help Lhose who are lnsecure abouL seLLlng Lhelr boundarles
learn Lo do so
CyberconnecLers can also pracLlce geLLlng close Lo oLhers and LesL Lhelr llmlLs Lo lnLlmacy
1hey can allow hldden aspecLs of Lhelr self Lo emerge wlLhouL as much fear as
Lhose who meeL face Lo face because Lhey can preLend Lo be someone oLher Lhan who
Lhey really are and escape easlly 1he lnLerneL has allowed people Lo achleve lnsLanL
lnLlmacy" by wrlLlng emalls pourlng ouL Lhelr mosL lnLlmaLe feellngs and needs Lo
sLrangers or developlng deep" sharlng wlLh people whom Lhey hardly know and
have noL meL ln person
1echnologlcal advances beyond even cell phones and
beepers allow everlncreaslng connecLlons beLween
people so LhaL longdlsLance love ls even more posslble
and physlcal separaLlons less palnful Advances
such as sound cards vldeo sLreamlng and camera aLLachmenLs
on Lop of your compuLer now allow boLh
volce and vlsual conLacL beLween people lncreaslng
Lhe poLenLlal for closer connecLlons CompuLer Lechnology
ls furLher maklng conLacL easlly posslble beLween
peoples around Lhe world faclllLaLlng Lhe world
vlew LhaL ls conslsLenL wlLh LanLra
1anLra and sacred sexuallLy are besL sLudled ln person
because Lhey are abouL human connecLlon ?eL energles
can also be felL wlLhouL belng face Lo faceeven
elecLronlcally 1anLrlc lovers can sLay ln Louch by Lyplng
ouL lnsLanL messages or sendlng emalls descrlblng
exacLly whaL Lhey are dolng for example wrlLlng messages
such as l am exhallng now sendlng my love energy
ouL my hearL and lnLo your hearL"
8locks Lo 8llss
8e very cauLlous ln pourlng ouL
your mosL lnLlmaLe feellngs Lo a
sLranger keeplng ln mlnd poLenLlal
predaLors on Lhe lnLerneL
ueal wlLh known LanLrlc groups
on Lhe Web check Lhem ouL
flrsL or geL a reference uon'L
glve ouL personal lnformaLlon Lo
a sLranger and lf you musL meeL
face Lo face arrange Lo meeL ln
a publlc place
293
ChapLer 23 LlfesLyles and SlLuaLlons 1anLra for All 8elaLlonshlps
1he Cons of CyberLanLra
1here ls a downslde Lo cyberLanLra connecLlons
1anLra ls abouL honesLy auLhenLlclLy and belng
who you really are ln conLrasL Lhe lnLerneL allows
dlshonesLy ln relaLlng eople do preLend Lo be
someLhlng Lhey are noL and Lhey do lle abouL
Lhelr looks age or sex CreaL dlsappolnLmenL and
decepLlon are posslble
1he depersonallzaLlon of some Lechnologlcal medlums
can faclllLaLe emoLlonal dlsLance and offer escapes
from Lrue lnLlmacy and commlLmenL 1hls
depersonallzaLlon ls Lhe bane of relaLlonshlps
Loday! 1he meLhod of lnLeracLlon Lhrough words
and wrlLlng on Lhe lnLerneL lLself can provlde an
easy escape for Lhose who have deep fears of lnLlmacy
or commlLmenL leLLlng Lhem preLend Lo be
close buL acLually keeplng Lhem away from personLo
person conLacL eople can wlLhdraw from lnLeracLlons
easlly logglng off and dlsappearlng lnLo
Lhe safeLy neL and eLher of cyberspace
Seelng 8eyond Lhe hyslcal
Mllllons of people ln Lhls counLry are unhappy
wlLh Lhelr welghL Cver Lhe years of belng a sex
LheraplsL lL has been palnfully clear Lo me LhaL
such unhapplness has also wrecked mllllons of
men and women's sex llves conslderlng exLra
pounds unaLLracLlve Lhey wlLhdraw from sex
1anLra Leaches love for your body LhaL can help
heal selfhaLred abouL one's own welghL lL also
Leaches us Lo see beyond Lhe physlcal whlch can
prevenL parLners from [udglng oLhers by Lhe way
Lhey look
LasLlng Love for Seemlngly Cdd Couples
1anLra demands seelng beyond Lhe physlcal deep lnLo Lhe soul of Lhe oLher belng
seelng Lhe god or goddess wlLhln As l've menLloned as soon as you do LhaL love ls
posslble where lL once mlghL never have flourlshed Seemlngly odd couples become
deeply commlLLed as Lhe Lyplcal exLernal perfecL maLches are vasLly overshadowed by
Lhe meeLlng and melLlng of lnner souls
An lncreaslng number of LanLra
coachlng and courses are belng
offered on Lhe lnLerneL Lxplore
Lhelr value Lo you buL don'L use
Lhem as replacemenLs for faceLo
face meeLlngs ALLend gaLherlngs
or Lake courses ln person
whenever you can Lhese are
avallable ln clLles across Lhe
counLry
1anLra 1uLorlal
1he Web's depersonallzaLlon has
creaLed an even greaLer need for
meLhods LhaL faclllLaLe people
meeLlng and connecLlng ln a
faceLoface way 1anLra offers
Lhls Lhrough lLs workshops and
coachlng sesslons
296
Couples who pracLlce LanLra mlghL have larger age dlfferences Lhan even Lhe average
couple as well as dlfferences ln race background economlc sLaLus and every oLher
characLerlsLlc you can Lhlnk of lncreaslngly common are Lhe palrlngs beLween older
women and younger men and dlfferenL races
!oshua SmlLh ls a 33yearold 8lack man and Laurle Pandlers ls a 3'2" 30yearold
!ewlsh glrl who readlly admlLs her flgure ls noL shaped llke a supermodel's 8uL
Pandlers ls a powerhouse and !osh knew lL Lhe momenL he lald eyes on her She's
Lhe mosL amazlng woman l ever meL" !osh says l know she ls Lhe female equlvalenL
of meshe ls Lhe goddess Lo my god l am ln awe of her She keeps me ln llne because
she always Lells Lhe LruLh l daLed a loL of women who l lled Lo and cheaLed on
buL l could never do LhaL Lo Laurle because she calls me on everyLhlng l do and
makes me own up Lo lL l llke LhaL l grow from belng wlLh her every day"
!osh and Laurle share a
speclal love desplLe dlfferences
ln age and
eLhnlclLy
laclng SocleLy's Cplnlons
Seemlngly odd couples ofLen have Lo deal wlLh Lhe crlLlclsms or dlscomforL of oLhers
who are noL used Lo unusual palrlngs arenLs can have a parLlcularly hard Llme accepLlng
Lhelr chlldren's cholces uon'L be dlssuaded by oLhers when you know whaL's
rlghL for you ulscuss your dlfferences wlLh your parenLs Lo help Lhem undersLand
and accepL your cholce of parLner
1he new World of SexuallLy
Pavlng a space Lo express lnLlmacy as ls creaLed ln LanLra glves people a chance Lo
explore a broad range of feellngs ln whaLever way flLs Lhelr boundarles and ls muLually
agreeable 1hls allows for relaLlonshlps beLween people LhaL go beyond sexual
roles or orlenLaLlon Lven Lhough l've explalned how LanLra emphaslzes Lhe unlon of
male and female you'll recall l keep emphaslzlng LhaL Lhese are meanL as energles noL
genlLalla
297
Learnlng Lo lnLegraLe and be open Lo Lhese Lwo energles can lead Lo more openness ln
any Lype of relaLlonshlp ln whlch you see beyond Lhe physlcal lnLo Lhe soul PeLerosexual
people could surprlse Lhemselves by explorlng a samesex relaLlonshlp or flnd
Lhemselves blcurlous (aLLracLed Lo people of boLh sexes) lollowlng Lhls prlnclple
LanLra ls equally appllcable Lo any relaLlonshlp regardless of Lhe parLlcular sex of Lhe
parLners
1anLrlc Sex for Men Who Love Men
8ruce Anderson ls a ploneer ln applylng LanLrlc prlnclples for gay men 1ralned by
noLed LanLra Leacher SunyaLa Anderson has led classes ln Callfornla and a weekend
workshop for gay male slngles and couples (see Appendlx 8 for conLenL lnfo) Anderson
noLes a dlfference beLween heLerosexual LanLrlc sex semlnars and Lhose for gay
men Cay men are far more eager Lo lnLeracL wlLh everyone ln Lhe group compared
Lo heLerosexual groups ln whlch women puL many more llmlLs on lnLlmaLe lnLeracLlons"
Anderson's groups do noL lnclude emoLlonal clearlng exerclses (as oLhers do) concenLraLlng
lnsLead on learnlng Lhe cobra breaLh and yoga posLures Pere's one of hls favorlLe
exerclses (afLer remlndlng parLners Lo always pracLlce safe proLecLed sex) Pe
lnsLrucLs As parL of your eroLlc play move lnLo a poslLlon ln whlch you slL faclng
each oLher ln a splder legs poslLlon a modlfled yab yum ln whlch one leg ls crossed
over and Lhe oLher leg crossed under lnsLead of one parLner's legs lnslde Lhe oLher's
Pave your llngams Louchlng WlLh one hand on your beloved's sacrum aL Lhe base of
hls splne use Lhe oLher hand Lo creaLe eroLlc dellghLs for yourself and for hlm As
you feel Lhe sparks rlslng Lake deep breaLhs concenLraLlng on Lhe lnhalaLlon feellng
a warm currenL rlslng up your splne SLlmulaLe wlLh Lhe lnLenLlon of surflng on Lhe
edges of orgasm!"
1anLra 1ales
!osh knew hls moLher was unhappy wlLh hls cholce of Laurle l knew she would prefer
LhaL l have someone younger and my same race AL flrsL she was cold Lo Laurle buL l Lold
my moLher she had a cholce LlLher accepL my cholce of woman or noL see me! Cradually
she warmed up AL flrsL she came Lo accepL Laurle as a slsLer" because Lhey were Lhe
same age 8uL afLer Laklng several of !osh and Laurle's workshops (Lhey cofounded
8uLLerfly Workshops) !osh's moLher came Lo Lruly love Laurle and now Lhay have a
beauLlful relaLlonshlp
298
loreheads Louch ln Lhe
LanLrlc klss
keep gazlng ln each oLher's eyes As you are moved Lo e[aculaLe allow your love Lo
rlse up and rlde Lhe cresLs pourlng lL Lhrough your eyes your hearL and all of your
belng lnLo your parLner SLay connecLed as you en[oy and follow Lhe lnflnlLe bllssful
dellghL as Lhe dlvlne courses Lhrough you and your lover
Anderson became moLlvaLed Lo Leach LanLra for gay men because as a gay male hlmself
he dlscovered LhaL lnLenslfylng hls own eroLlc play led Lo hls mosL profound experlences
of Lhe dlvlne 1anLra speaks Lo men who love men" says Anderson
because lL sLarLs from Lhe same premlse and lmpulse upon whlch we know LhaL we
are gay deep llsLenlng and undersLandlng from Lhe core of our bodles"
Anderson explalns LhaL Lhe baslc LanLrlc sex concepL whlch ls bullL on Lhe unlon of
polar opposlLes (male and female) has Lo be lnLerpreLed as an alchemlcal marrlage of
male and female wlLhln oneself noL beLween Lhe parLners Accordlng Lo physlcs opposlLe
poles ground each oLher ln LanLra" he explalns buL ln gay LanLra llke poles
of Lwo mencreaLe a LanLrlc spark lL's [usL a dlfferenL flavor"
1anLrlc Sex for Coddesses
1here are noL yeL groups excluslvely for women who love women slmllar Lo Anderson's
groups for men 8uL some women who do noL ldenLlfy Lhemselves as gay are
drawn Lo worklng wlLh oLher women ln classes or womenonly workshops especlally
devoLed Lo heallng Lhe goddess l found myself really undersLandlng Lhe meanlng of
Lhe word 'slsLerhood'" one sLudenL Lold me buL even more l found myself appreclaLlng
belng wlLh oLher women ln ways l never dld before"
299
Women are ldeal healers for each oLher" one LanLra Leacher Lold me 1hey are
naLurally warm lovlng and senslLlve" ln one exerclse ln whlch women break lnLo
small groups and pracLlce danclng sensuously for each oLher some women end up
really en[oylng waLchlng and holdlng each oLher 1hey can feel safer wlLh oLher
women Lhan wlLh men even ln dolng sacred secLor heallng work 1hls ls especlally
Lrue lf Lhey've been hurL by men ln Lhe pasL
1anLrlc Love for 1hose wlLh ulsablllLles
MlLch 1epper had already had hls accldenLdlvlng
lnLo a shallow lake when he was [usL 20 years old
LhaL snapped hls splnal cord and conflned hlm Lo
a wheelchalrwhen he meL Cheryl She says she
never noLlced Lhe chalr When she meL MlLch ln
college she fell ln love wlLh hls charm humor and
lnLelllgence nlneLeen years laLer MlLch can glve a
woman a good whlrl around on hls lap aL a dance
parLy and Lhe llmlLed movemenL ln hls legs and
hands hasn'L sLopped hlm from en[oylng sex or
runnlng a popular ploneer Web slLe all abouL Lhe
sub[ecL (wwwSexualhealLhcom)
1anLrlc sex pracLlces are a perfecL flL lf you're noL
Lhe perfecLly flL speclmen" says MlLch as he descrlbes
Lhe unlque perspecLlve LhaL LanLrlc sex
Lakes 1anLra shlfLs Lhe aLLenLlon away from lnLercourse or any parLlcular sex acL and
onLo slowlng down focuslng on sensaLlons connecLlng wlLh your parLner and exchanglng
energy
Pere are some exerclses LhaL MlLch recommends
Look aL your rlghL hand for a few momenLs and pay aLLenLlon Lo whaL you feel
Lhen focus your aLLenLlon on your lefL hand ay close aLLenLlon Lo Lhe changes
you feel from one hand Lo Lhe oLher lf you are able slowly move your hands
closer LogeLher unLll you can feel Lhe energy beLween Lhem 1hen you can pracLlce
movlng LhaL energy around by changlng Lhe dlsLance beLween your hands
or Lhe poslLlons of your hands
ConLrol Lhe pace of your breaLhlng Lo a slow relaxed pace wlLh equal Llme on
Lhe lnhale and exhale lf you can sense your hearLbeaL you can use LhaL as a
clock Lo Llme Lhe breaLhs
Learn Lo connecL wlLh a parLner by maLchlng Lhe pace of your breaLhlng whlle
gazlng lnLo hls or her eyes ?ou mlghL wanL Lo place your hand near your parLner's
hearL whlle dolng Lhls
1anLra 1uLorlal
A woman's sacred secLor ls anoLher
Lerm LhaL refers Lo Lhe
mosL senslLlve areas wlLhln her
vaglna CLher phrases are goddess
space" and C spoL"
300
uevelop senslLlvlLy Lo Louch by paylng aLLenLlon Lo Llny sensaLlon 8ecome
aware of Lhe feellngs and sensaLlons LhaL you have subLle as Lhey mlghL seem
aL flrsL
1anLrlc ecsLasy and orgasm do noL need a bulldup of sexual Lenslon frlcLlon e[aculaLlon
or muscular conLracLlons ln facL Lhere ls no need for Lhe LradlLlonal ldea of sex
aL all once you have dlscovered LhaL orgasm can be a deeply relaxlng medlLaLlon
Peallng 8elaLlonshlps wlLh ?our arenLs
Some people who experlence a growLh experlence wanL Lo share lL wlLh everyone lmporLanL
ln Lhelr llfe Lo brlng Lhem closer or Lo heal Lhe relaLlonshlp 1anLra Leacher
Laurle Pandlers flnally convlnced her faLher Lo come Lo a LanLra weekend she was
Leachlng l had sLored up so much anger Loward hlm over Lhe years" she explalned
Pe never llsLened Lo me and always made promlses he never kepL even as mlnor as
saylng he would call and Lhen noL calllng for weeks" 8uL afLer her faLher aLLended
Lhe weekend Lhelr relaLlonshlp Look a ma[or Lurn for Lhe beLLer l flnally Lold hlm
how l felL all Lhose years and for Lhe flrsL Llme l felL he really heard meand he apologlzed
1haL dld wonders for me"
Per parLner and coLeacher !oshua SmlLh had slmllar success geLLlng hls moLher Lo
come Lo a LanLra weekend She was always angry wlLh men because my faLher lefL
her and she had such bad relaLlonshlps LhaL l felL she Look lL ouL on me and expecLed
Loo much of me" he Lold me 8uL afLer she dld Lhe workshop she felL so much beLLer
abouL herself She knew for Lhe flrsL Llme LhaL she could be happy so she ls much
less angry and conLrolllng of me"
1anLra wlLh ?our eLs
Pold on before you have any vlslons abouL whaL l
mean here ! 8elng LanLrlc wlLh your peLs means
belng lovlng and every peL owner knows Lhe value
of LhaL 8elng lovlng and open ln your hearL space
wlll LransmlL Lo all llvlng belngs around you
lncludlng your peLsand lnsplre Lhem Lo respond
wlLh healLh and wellbelng
1here's no doubL LhaL peLs plck up on human emoLlons
1he happler and more [oyous you are (from
beLLer sex and more love) Lhe beLLer you wlll LreaL
your peLs and Lhe beLLer Lhey wlll respond Lvery
dog owner knows how senslLlve anlmals can be Lo
Lhelr owner's moods Lhe calmer and more bllssful
your mood from pracLlclng LanLra Lhe more slmllar
Lo LhaL vlbraLlon wlll be your peL's dlsposlLlon
LcsLasy LssenLlals
8esearch has shown LhaL sLroklng
your peL lowers people's blood
pressure leellng love for your
peLs can lnsplre you Lo feel more
prone Lo healLhy sexual acLlvlLy
wlLh your parLner
301
8esearch has shown LhaL peL owners ofLen feel closer Lo Lhelr peLs Lhan Lo oLher humans
AlLhough Lhe precepLs of LanLrlc sex would requlre LhaL you open your hearL Lo
oLher people slngle people or Lhose wlLhouL love parLners can express lovlng energy
Lo Lhelr peLs and recelve Lhe beneflLs of a hearL connecLlon eL owners and anlmal
lovers know Lhe [oy of Lalklng Lo a peL leLLlng ouL deep emoLlons and feellngs LrusLlng
Lhe anlmalallow yourself Lhls as a rehearsal for deep sharlng wlLh anoLher
human belng
1anLra wlLh ?our lanLs
l hope l've convlnced you abouL Lhe value of sendlng love energy Lo your peLs So am
l pushlng lL Loo far when l say you can exLend Lhe same lovlng energy Lo planLs? SLay
wlLh me on Lhls one! All planL lovers know LhaL planLs llke oLher llvlng Lhlngs are
senslLlve Lo human emoLlon and carlng 1he happler you are Lhe more aLLuned you
wlll be Lo Lhe needs of your planLs from Lhe amounL of waLer Lo any exLra nuLrlenLs
you glve 8uL research has suggesLed LhaL planLs also respond Lo people's emoLlons
growlng healLhler ln a happler envlronmenL
ln summary love and poslLlvlLy become a cycle 1he more you surround yourself
wlLh healLhy llvlng Lhlngs lncludlng people peLs and planLs Lhe more your own
mood llfLs and Lhe more moLlvaLed you wlll be ln keeplng wlLh LanLrlc pracLlces Lo
send LhaL poslLlve mood and love back lnLo Lhe world
1oday's advances ln Lechnology can help LanLrlc pracLlLloners sLay ln Louch
buL should noL Lake Lhe place of lnperson conLacL
1he Lheorles and pracLlces of LanLra as Lhe exchange of energy and honorlng
of self and oLhers are approprlaLe for every relaLlonshlp regardless of lLs naLure
and allows people Lo explore all parLs of Lhemselves wlLhouL fear
Lven Lhough LanLra Lechnlcally represenLs Lhe unlon of male and female opposlLes
Lhls refers Lo energles raLher Lhan gender Lherefore LanLrlc pracLlces
are equally appllcableand provlng valuablefor homosexual parLners
1he road Lo hlgher consclousness and bllss ls posslble no maLLer whaL your
parLlcular clrcumsLances or healLh sLaLus
Lvery relaLlonshlp you're ln wheLher wlLh people peLs or planLs can be
poslLlvely affecLed by your LanLrlc sex pursulLs by generaLlng more lovlng
energy

ChapLer 24
Whlch aLh ls
8lghL for ?ou?
ln 1hls ChapLer
Why guldance ls so lmporLanL
Maklng sense of Lhe dlfferenL LradlLlons and schools of LanLra
ulfferenL opporLunlLles Lo learn LanLrlc sex
varlous Lypes of workshops offered and whaL Lhey cosL
CrlenLaLlon of dlfferenL Leachers
Chooslng Lhe paLh LhaL's besL for you
As ln every splrlLual pracLlce phllosophy [ourney rellglon and school of LhoughL
LanLrlc sex pracLlces have been passed down Lhrough Lhe ages and many dlfferenL dlsclpllnes
have evolved As such Lhere are many pracLlLloners of dlfferenL sLyles of
LanLrlc sex many schools of LanLra and dlfferenL Leachers Lo whom dlfferenL llneages
have been passed down 1hls chapLer wlll help you sorL ouL Lhose dlfferences so you
can choose whlch paLh mlghL be besL for you
1he common denomlnaLor ln all Lhe LanLrlc sex pracLlces ls harnesslng sexual energy
for Lhe aLLalnmenL of enllghLenmenL 1he hlghesL goal ls Lo use Lhe energy generaLed
by Lhe splrlLual unlon of Lwo dlvlne belngs for Lhe good of all humanklnd and Lhe
unlverse
304
1he lmporLance of Culdance
1he use of Lhe breaLh Lo move sexual energy Lhrough Lhe body ls a process LhaL
should noL be Laken llghLly lL can be dangerous Lo engage ln some advanced breaLhlng
pracLlces heallngs and oLher rlLuals before one ls fully prepared boLh psychologlcally
and physlcally 1hrlll seekers and overenLhuslasLlc sLudenLs can be lefL ln
serlous emoLlonal Lrauma or even develop physlcal dlsorders by rushlng Loo qulckly
down Lhe paLh Lo expecLed bllss lor example one experL ln LanLra says LhaL when he
was a novlce aL Lhe pracLlces sendlng sLrong rushes of breaLh up and down hls splne
released powerful emoLlons LhaL caused such vlolenL shaklng of hls head LhaL hls
splnal cord was ln[ured leavlng hlm wlLh serlous dlsablllLles
ConLrary Lo myLh greaL sex does noL always happen lnLulLlvely Lven anclenL wlsdom
malnLalned LhaL sexual arLs had Lo be LaughL 1eachers help by
Clvlng you feedback on how pracLlces should be
done for maxlmum beneflL and safeLy
Showlng how all Lhe pracLlces flL LogeLher unLll
you acLually feel lL for yourself
SupporLlng you ln your pursulL and answerlng
any quesLlons you have
Pelplng you derlve beneflLs from assoclaLlon
wlLh a llneage as enllghLened experlence ls
ofLen passed down Lo chosen sLudenLs ln addlLlon
some Leachlngs mlghL noL be recorded
anywhere and are meanL only for oral communlcaLlon
from Leacher Lo sLudenL
Clvlng you lndlvldual LuLorlng ln complex lndlvldual
pracLlces (such as wheLher Lhe breaLh ln a
pracLlce goes up and down Lhe splne or cenLral
body) (l remember belng so worrled abouL
wheLher cerLaln experlences such as flashes of
llghL or colors were rlghL")
lnsplrlng you because Lhey have achleved Lhe
goals you seek of sacred love unlon or of speclflc
pracLlces such as prolonglng orgasm or delaylng
e[aculaLlon
1anLra 1uLorlal
ln hls book lnLroducLlon Lo
1anLra A vlslon of 1oLallLy
(Wlsdom ubllcaLlons 1987)
Lama ?eshe has llkened Lhe need
for proper guldance ln a
Leacher/sLudenL relaLlonshlp Lo
Lhe confuslon LhaL would arlse lf
lnsLead of geLLlng a 8olls 8oyce
you goL a plle of unassembled
parLs and an lnsLrucLlon manual
unless you already were a skllled
mechanlc you would llkely be
compleLely losL
303
ChapLer 24 Whlch aLh ls 8lghL for ?ou?
llndlng Lhe 8lghL Culde
lL can be dlfflculL Lo sorL ouL Lhe besL dlrecLlon for your LanLrlc pracLlce ldeally a
Leacher would be a model of developlng beyond selflshness Lranscendlng peLLy
concerns whlle sLlll llvlng ln Lhe world and belng
dedlcaLed Lo wlsdom and Lhe welfare of oLhers
Some are beLLer examples of Lhls Lhan oLhers
As Lhe fleld grows Lhere are an lncreaslng number
of pracLlLloners from all backgrounds 1hese can
lnclude men and women who call Lhemselves
healers" LanLra Leachers" LanLra educaLors"
LanLrlkas" daklnls" or dakas" 1hey could be
splrlLual counselors and body workers sex workers
or professlonals llcensed ln a fleld of sLudy such as
massage or dance Lherapy CLhers have Lralnlng
and mlghL be cerLlfled by a LanLra masLer who offers
Lralnlng courses oLhers are noL Cnly a few are
medlcal docLors wlLh Mus or psychologlsLs wlLh
hus 1he maze can be as compllcaLed as sorLlng
ouL any counselor who ls rlghL for you for any
problem from depresslon Lo anxleLy Lo a marlLal
problem
Pere are some guldellnes Lo help you choose a
Leacher who ls rlghL for you
8locks Lo 8llss
ln Lhe ldeal world all Leachers and Lypes of LanLra would peaceably coexlsL allowlng you
Lo freely sample from all Lypes Powever as wlLh so many oLher areas of speclalLy compeLlLlon
and schlsms have arlsen beLween dlfferenL schools of LanLra lallouLs happen over
many lssues such as vlolaLlng Lhe rules of cerLaln pracLlces forclng some sLudenLs Lo choose
beLween Leachers Cne advanced sLudenL of LanLra had a falllng ouL wlLh her Leacher and
felL excommunlcaLed from Lhe enLlre LanLra communlLy 8e careful noL Lo fall lnLo Lhe approval
Lrap Lhlnklng LhaL anyone holds Lhe key Lo your enllghLenmenL or accepLance
8locks Lo 8llss
1he splrlL of LanLra ls Lo unleash
your own lndlvlduallLy your own
speclalnessLo flnd your own
speclal paLh uon'L bllndly follow
someone else's paLh because you
are lnsecure abouL your own
cholces or fearful of LrusLlng your
own experlences Also be very
wary of wounded healers
Lhemselvesor worse yeL sex addlcLs
or energy vamplres (people
who suck energy ouL of oLhers
for Lhelr own selflsh use)
306
Check whaL ls wrlLLen ln Lhls book abouL whaL LanLra lnvolves and abouL speclflc
Leachers and schools 8efer Lo Appendlxes 8 Workshops Web SlLes
1eachers and 1anLra CommunlLles" and C 1anLrlc 1ools"
Surf Lhe Web for slLes abouL LanLra and follow all llnks
MenLlon your lnLeresL Lo frlends and oLher people you know ?ou never know
who mlghL have slmllar lnLeresLs experlence or conLacLs
ConLacL poLenLlal Leachers for Lhelr maLerlals and geL references of oLher
sLudenLs
Check Lhe Leacher's background Lralnlng WhaL
ls hls speclalLy? WhaL schools dld she sLudy aL?
Assess quallflcaLlons ln yoglc pracLlces splrlLual
[ourneys and ln oLher healLh professlons
lollow your lnLulLlon LeL yourself be gulded
abouL wheLher Lhls Leacher ls Lhe rlghL person
for you Lo learn from
lL has been sald LhaL a Lrue masLer does noL wanL Lo be
called a guru" or a masLer" because belng enllghLened
lnvolves a sLaLe of deLachmenL Lo a LlLle ego
needs or havlng followers (Cne Leacher suggesLed Lhe
Lerm fellow [ourneyer) 1rue gurus lL ls sald wanL you
Lo flnd Lhe guru lnslde you ln LruLh everyone and
every experlence ls our LeacherbuL LanLra Leachers
have much Lo share wlLh us
LcsLasy LssenLlals
1here ls no unlform cerLlflcaLlon
sysLem or llcensure Lo ensure a
Leacher's credenLlals buL some
esLabllshed Leachers have offered
cerLlflcaLlon ln Lhelr meLhods
Charles and Carollne
Mulr Leachlng a class
307
1anLra Leachers can glve sesslons or run workshops lndlvldually or work ln Leams
Learnlng from a commlLLed couple can presenL an example of a lovlng relaLlonshlp
whlch can be lnsplrlng Lo sLudenLs AnoLher advanLage ls LhaL you geL boLh a male
and female polnL of vlew Some of Lhese couples are llsLed ln Appendlx 8
A young couple Meghan
and 8yan who Leach
LanLra
8ohdl Avlnasha playlng
muslc aL a LanLra Leacher
Lralnlng
308
1he ulfferenL 1radlLlons of Sacred SexuallLy
Addlng Lo lLs complexlLy LanLra has fllLered Lhrough and lnLerLwlned wlLh many
oLher splrlLual paLhs lndlan LanLra of Plndu herlLage varles from 1lbeLan LanLra of
8uddhlsL herlLage whlch dlffers from LanLra of !apanese Zen or Chlnese 1aolsL herlLage
WlLhln each of Lhese flavors of LanLra are many spllnLered paLhs each more llberal
or conservaLlve Lhan Lhe rooL paLh Lhey sprang from ?eL Lhey also have dramaLlc
slmllarlLles as beLween LanLra as pracLlced ln LasLern culLures and LhaL of Lhe
Amerlcan lndlans LeL's look aL some of Lhe LradlLlons or Lerms LhaL descrlbe Lhese
pracLlces
Plndu 1he Plndus can be credlLed wlLh Lhe orlglns of Lhls sacred paLh slnce
LanLra sLudles flourlshed ln Lhe Lemples of lndla cenLurles ago lLs pracLlces are
mosL commonly known by Lhe LexLs of Lhe kama SuLra Lhe anclenL 8lble" of
lovemaklng LhaL descrlbes noL [usL sexual poslLlons buL Lhe value and pracLlces
of love
8uddhlsL 1anLrlc sex pracLlces spread from lndla Lhrough nepal and lnLo
Chlna where Lhe 1aolsL LradlLlons lncorporaLed sacred rlLes and added Lhelr own
speclflc movemenLs phllosophy and pracLlces 1here are many books you can
read Lo explore Lhese dlfferenL LradlLlons ln deLall ln Lhls book l lnLroduce you
Lo Lechnlques from varlous LradlLlons (l always Leach and LreaL cllenLs ln a hollsLlc
way) so you can deslgn your own program LhaL works for you
1aolsL 1he ma[or prlnclple of Lhls LradlLlon ls unswervlng adherence Lo e[aculaLory
conLrol conslsLenL wlLh Lhe vlew LhaL noL Lo do so rulns a man's healLh
Cne of Lhe besLknown Leachers ls ManLak Chla
who has wrlLLen exLenslvely on Lhe 1ao of sex
(see Lhe nexL page)
Cuodoushka Crlglnally pracLlces of sacred
sexuallLy from anclenL Mayan and 1olLec
schools of learnlng Lhls oncesecreL naLlve
Amerlcan lndlan sysLem ls now belng revlved
Slmllar Lo some forms of LanLrlc sex based on
breaLhlng Lechnlques and chakras Cuodoushka
Leaches Lhe llre 8reaLh as a means Lo fullbody
orgasm 1he Leachlngs are based on Lhe medlclne
wheel whereby a sexual encounLer ls
meanL Lo allgn Lhe four dlrecLlons elemenLs
and correspondlng powers for example LrusL
and lnnocence (souLh) lnLrospecLlon and lnLulLlon
(wesL) wlsdom and knowledge (norLh)
and enllghLenmenL and lllumlnaLlon (easL)
1anLra 1uLorlal
SeaLLle LanLra Leacher klrby
!acobson has deeply connecLed
Lo Lhe LanLrlc Leachlngs of many
dlfferenL llneages Pe says hls
Leachers have been very generous
wlLh hlm and he's happy Lo
share Lhe knowledge ?ou can
conLacL hlm wlLh any quesLlons
aL earLh2klrby[yahoocom or
2063794421
309
1ralned Leachers lnLroduce Lhls knowledge Lo oLhers lncludlng lnformaLlon
abouL flve dlfferenL levels and Lypes of orgasm for men and women
ln lLs orlglnal form adolescenL males and females would spend Lhree days and
nlghLs wlLh no food and waLer Lo purlfy Lhemselves ln preparaLlon for lnlLlaLlon
lnLo sexual knowledge and behavlors by a SplrlLual llre Woman (also called Lhe
hoenlx llre Woman) 1hls lnsLrucLress would Lake youngsLers Lhrough rlLes of
passage and Leach adulLs more advanced pracLlces (how Lo please dlfferenL genlLal
Lypes achleve flve dlfferenL Lypes of orgasm and do dlfferenL breaLhs) Lo
reach ecsLaLlc sLaLes
Slmllar Lo oLher forms of LanLrlc sex based on breaLhlng Lechnlques and chakras
unlque Lo Lhls LradlLlon ls Lhe concepL of Lhe medlclne wheel (sacred hoop) LhaL
connecLs all peoples and elemenLs As such a sexual encounLer honors Lhe four
dlrecLlons souLh (represenLlng waLer hearL planLs) wesL (represenLlng earLh
body rocks) norLh (represenLlng wlnd mlnd anlmals) and easL (represenLlng
human belngs) SexuallLy ls ln Lhe cenLer represenLlng Lhe soul Lhe llfe force
LhaL and connecLs Lhe body and mlnd all belngs and all LhaL exlsLs
1he 1ao of sex
310
Csho 1he SplrlLually lncorrecL MysLlc
Csho ls a Plndu mysLlc who Lranscended all rellglons and LradlLlons lormerly known
as 8hagwan Shree 8a[neesh and referred Lo as Lhe splrlLually lncorrecL mysLlc" ln a
recenL blography he wroLe exLenslvely abouL LanLrlc pracLlces as a vehlcle for LransformaLlon
and achlevlng personal lnLerpersonal and unlversal freedom ecsLasy and enllghLenmenL
unllke oLher medlLaLlon gurus who demand cellbacy Csho celebraLed
physlcal pleasures becomlng embrolled ln scandals ln
Lhe 1970s and 1980s LhaL resulLed ln hls deporLaLlon
from Lhe unlLed SLaLes Csho came Lo be called (Lo hls
dlspleasure!) Lhe Sex Curu" AlLhough he dled years
ago hls splrlL llves on aL hls popular ashram ln une
lndla devoLed followers Leach hls Lechnlques LhroughouL
Lhe world Many currenL LanLrlc masLers llke
MargoL Anand and 8odhl Avlnasha were early sLudenLs
of Csho and credlL hlm for Lhe orlglns of many
of Lhelr Leachlngs as well as for Lhelr personal LransformaLlon
An example of Csho's Leachlng on love 8ecome lovlng
When you are ln Lhe embrace become Lhe embrace
8ecome Lhe klss lorgeL yourself so LoLally LhaL
you can say 'l am no more Cnly love exlsLs' 1hen
Lhe hearL ls noL beaLlng buL love ls beaLlng 1hen Lhe
blood ls noL clrculaLlng buL love ls clrculaLlng 1hen
eyes are noL seelng love ls seelng"
ulfferenL 1ralnlngs
1eachers of LanLrlc sex usually offer a varled menu of
servlces lncludlng lndlvldual sesslons evenlng semlnars
weekend or weeklong workshops or Leacher
Lralnlngs 1hese are held around Lhe counLry and ln
many places around Lhe world 8y conLacLlng Lhe cenLral
offlce (see Appendlx 8) you can flnd ouL abouL
Lhose ln your area or requesL LhaL Leachers come Lo
your area
Some Lralnlngs are more geared Loward sexual pracLlces
(such as learnlng e[aculaLlon conLrol or helplng
women free Lhelr expresslon) whlle oLhers lnclude
pracLlces llke medlLaLlon and emoLlonal clearlng ?ou
may flnd dlfferenL Lralnlngs helpful aL dlfferenL polnLs
ln your [ourney l recommend LhaL you geL a balanced
experlence so LhaL you don'L [usL experlence sexual
energy ln sexual acLlvlLles 1he goal should be Lo
LcsLasy LssenLlals
erhaps Lhe mosL popular of
Csho's exerclses ls Lhe dynamlc
medlLaLlon (descrlbed more fully
ln ChapLer 6 Amp up or uamp
uown ?our Sexual Lnergy") lL ls
done ln four sLeps acceleraLed
breaLhlng emoLlonal release
quleLlng Lhe mlnd and
celebraLlon
8locks Lo 8llss
!usL as you should ln plcklng any
docLor or healLh consulLanL
check credenLlals and background
of any healer or LanLra
Leacher use Lhe Llps LhroughouL
Lhls book and recommendaLlons
ln Appendlx 8 Lo help your research
lnLervlew Lhe person
Lhoroughly Ask forand Lalk
wlLhreferences
311
achleve hlgher sLaLes of consclousness LhaL unlLe body mlnd and soul for splrlLual
enllghLenmenL
Me Leachlng a LanLra
workshop
1ypes of Pealers and CLher racLlLloners
As wlLh LanLra Leachers Lhere are varlous klnds of
healers 1anLrlkas daklnls and dakas are SanskrlL
Lerms for Lhe male and female Leachers who have
been Lralned ln advanced experlences of LanLrlc
LransformaLlon and are able Lo LransmlL Lhese
Leachlngs Lo oLhers ln anclenL Llmes Lhey were
consldered holy belngs 1oday Lhey are healers
wlLh experLlse ln dlverse flelds relaLed Lo heallng
(you should ask abouL Lhelr backgrounds) such as
phllosophy yoga sacred sexuallLy meLaphyslcs
and lnLulLlve counsellng Some are devoLed Lo
LanLrlc heallng as Lhelr [ob whlle oLhers have a career
ln oLher flelds
Some of Lhese healers mlghL lnLeracL wlLh Lhelr sLudenLs
Lo demonsLraLe how speclflc pracLlces are
done supervlse couples' pracLlces or engage ln
handson educaLlonal sesslons or more lnLense
heallngs as descrlbed ln ChapLer 17 Sexual
Peallng Lo SeL ?ou lree" 1hey mlghL descrlbe Lhelr
sulLry volce" or clear blue eyes" and adverLlse
Lhelr servlces on Lhe lnLerneL as sacred space
healer" or prlesLess of sexual arLs" and offer servlces
such as Lemple dances sacred spoL work
1anLra 1ales
1he source of one LradlLlon of
LanLra (called LanLrlc krlya ?oga)
ls an lmmorLal called 8aba[l supposedly
born ln 203 Au and llvlng
ln hls orlglnal form ln a cave
ln Lhe Plmalayas 8aba[l guldes
Lhose who seek hls help and
LransmlLs Lhe pracLlces Lo many
sLudenLs who have adapLed Lhe
meLhods Lo Lhelr own parLlcular
branch When l saw 8aba[l's
lmage l couldn'L Lell wheLher lL
was a male or femaleexacLly
Lhe goal of LanLra! 8aba[l ls
honored ln Lhe 1anLrlka lnLernaLlonal
LradlLlon
312
(descrlbed ln ChapLer 17) varlous klnds of bodywork and massage baLhlng and lovemaklng
rlLuals and goddess celebraLlons 1anLrlc prlesLs mlghL offer slmllar servlces
for women
1here are far fewer male healers Lhan females (parLly because women are more nurLurlng
by naLure) Male healers ofLen use Lhelr glven WesLern name as opposed Lo female
healers who ofLen assume lndlan or exoLlc names Some men and women who
Lraln as sexual healers don'L pracLlce lL as such buL do so for Lhelr own learnlng As
one sald ln real llfe l have a day [ob"
SLarLlng and keeplng up ?our racLlce
When you are conslderlng a paLh go Lo lnLroducLory LanLrlc evenlngs Lo experlence
wheLher lL's a good flL wlLh you AfLer workshops and weekends you can conLlnue
your sLudy wlLh boosLer sesslons LhaL some Leachers offer Lo keep your lndlvldual
pracLlces growlng and Lhe communlLy coheslve
ConLlnulng ?our 1anLra LducaLlon
MosL esLabllshed LanLra Leachers offer workshops on varlous Lhemes as well as dlfferenL
levels of Lralnlng 1hese usually sLarL wlLh an lnLroducLory weekend workshop
and progress Lo a weeklong course Many sLudenLs
wanL Lo parLlclpaLe more because Lhey en[oy lL so
much and lL glves Lhem supporL ln Lhelr pracLlces you
can repeaL courses you llke (usually for a reduced raLe)
or Lake a Leacher Lralnlng course even lf you don'L
plan Lo Leach
8elaLed Lralnlng ln oLher areas (such as medlLaLlon
dance or maklng relaLlonshlps work) can help your
LanLrlc pracLlce buL be careful noL Lo geL dlsLracLed by
Loo many oLher pursulLs lor example shaman Lralnlng
greaLly deepened my appreclaLlon for splrlLuallLy
and even Lhe role of splrlLs ln heallng As a resulL l
spenL conslderable Llme aL Lemples ln nepal and sLudled
wlLh a 1lbeLan shaman as parL of a Lralnlng program
glven by an Amerlcan experL ln shamanlsm
Larry eLers
1reaL levels of LanLra experLlse
wlLh Lhe same respecL as you
would geLLlng a black belL ln
karaLe lL ls unwlse Lo dabble ln
LanLrlc sex read a book or Lake a
course and Lhen proclalm l am
a LanLrlka" and Lo announce Lhls
Lo poLenLlal parLners or use Lhls
Lo enLlce lovers
313
A lew 1hlngs Lo 8e Aware Cf
lf you go Lo a LanLra gaLherlng be aware of cerLaln aspecLs LhaL mlghL cause some dlscomforL
for you Ask ahead of Llme abouL Lhe followlng concerns
Can l sLay wlLh my parLner? lf you come as a couple ask wheLher you wlll be
allowed Lo sLay LogeLher for all Lhe exerclses or lf you wlll be asked Lo lnLeracL
8elng blessed aL Lhe
shrlne of kall ln nepal
1ralnlng ln 1amang
8uddhlsm ln nepal
314
wlLh Lhe group and choose people you don'L know as a parLner for some exerclses
Some parLlclpanLs are lnsecure abouL a parLner's commlLmenL and geL
[ealous seelng hlm or her worklng wlLhand perhaps deeply connecLlng wlLh
anoLher person even lf noLhlng comes of lL
Pow wlll l be palred up lf l come alone? lf you come as a slngle be prepared
Lo be asked Lo palr up wlLh someone of Lhe opposlLe sex for some exerclses alLhough
your cholces and boundarles should always be respecLed MosL LanLrlc
sex workshops are deslgned for slngles as well as couples and make serlous efforLs
Lo achleve an equal number of males and females varlous games creaLe
Lhese palrlngs (plcklng maLchlng cards wanderlng Lhe room Lo whomever your
energy draws you) Where numbers are noL balanced you mlghL be asked Lo
play Lhe role of Lhe opposlLe sex
Pow much Llme ls requlred? Lveryone ls busy buL you do noL wanL Lo be dlsLracLed
by phone calls and oLher buslness when dolng your pracLlces aL home or
when parLlclpaLlng ln a workshop lL's besL Lo devoLe full aLLenLlon Lo Lhe experlence
and noL be preoccupled wlLh phone calls or checklng emall
Wlll Lhere be nudlLy? Whlle exhlblLlonlsm (dlsplays of nudlLy) ls generally
frowned upon some workshops creaLe a safe space for you Lo Lake off your
cloLhes durlng exerclses lf you choose ln oLhers varlous sLaLes of dlsroblng
occur especlally for cerLaln massage experlences (alLhough nudlLy ls noL lnLended
Lo be sexual) Couples mlghL do exerclses LogeLher uncloLhed buL have
no lnLeracLlon wlLh oLhers ln Lhe group ln oLhers Lhere mlghL be massages or
oLher exerclses ln groups of varylng numbers More advanced classes obvlously
are more relaxed abouL such Lhlngs 8e aware of your own comforL level Ask beforehand
whaL's ln sLore so you are noL caughL unaware or dlsLurb oLhers by unpredlcLed
dlsLress
ls Lhere sexual acLlvlLy? AcLual sex ls noL whaL
Lhe workshops are abouL buL some places and
Leachers are more permlsslve and acLlvlLles can
go on afLer class lf people so choose 1here ls
some conLroversy wlLhln Lhe LanLra communlLy
over physlcal conLacL 8e clear abouL your
boundarles and Lhe Leacher's or healer's orlenLaLlon
lf prlvaLe coachlng by speclflc Lypes of
healers lncludes some lnLlmaLe acLlvlLy aL your
requesL Lhls wlll usually be obvlous from Lhelr
Web slLe or an lnlLlal conversaLlon More conservaLlve
pracLlLlonerscerLalnly Lhose who belong
Lo professlonal's organlzaLlon and are sLaLe
llcensedwlll noL engage ln such lnLeracLlon
glvlng couples exerclses Lo do aL home ln
prlvaLe
Check Lhe level (beglnner or advanced)
of evenLs lor example
one LanLra evenL was adverLlsed
as We sLrlp down and are covered
ln oll by mulLlple aLLenLlve
hands" know wheLher you are
prepared for Lhls
313
uon'L look Lo LanLrlc sex workshops Lo solve serlous emoLlonal or relaLlonshlp problems
Seek professlonal advlce AL one of her weeklong workshops MargoL Anand offered
a unlque servlce counsellng sesslons wlLh quallfled LheraplsLs 1he LheraplsLs
were myself a llcensed cllnlcal psychologlsL and a medlcal docLor Parold kornylack
1hls proved hlghly successful and useful for parLlclpanLs because Lhe exerclses ln Lhe
workshop whlle pleasurable also sLlmulaLed some deeper emoLlonal lssues lor example
one woman remembered for Lhe flrsL Llme afLer 20 years havlng been abused as a
chlld AnoLher woman became lnLensely [ealous abouL her husband appearlng Lo fllrL
wlLh someone A man became dlsLraughL over re[ecLlon when he was noL chosen Lo
do an exerclse by Lhe woman he eyed Ask abouL Lhe avallablllLy of such asslsLance or
referrals
CosLs
CosLs of lndlvldual evenlngs average abouL $20 or are based on conLrlbuLlons or ablllLy
Lo pay Weekends can cosL from $180 Lo $393 ulscounLs are avallable for couples
or lf you slgn up several people work as an asslsLanL or repeaL Lhe course 8ecause
many Lralnlngs llke Lo have an equal number of men and women presenL Lhey mlghL
offer beLLer dlscounLs lf Lhey need an exLra Shlva or ShakLl lf you sponsor or organlze
Lhe weekend and lnvlLe a quallfled Leacher you can come free or even earn some
money for your work
uo 1anLra Weekends Work?
1he flrsL research ever conducLed on Lhe effecLs of Leachlng sacred lovlng and heallng
Lhe god/goddess was done on a group aLLendlng a weekend workshop led by masLer
yoga and LanLra Leacher Sasha Lessln Pe was asslsLed by me and hls wlfe !aneL klra
Lessln 8efore Lhe workshop many of Lhe female
parLlclpanLs descrlbed Lhemselves as shy embarrassed
and even shameful abouL sexfeellngs LhaL
were ofLen llnked Lo dlssaLlsfacLlon abouL Lhelr
body (mosLly feellng overwelghL) fears of lnLlmacy
and re[ecLlon and pasL sexual abuses
AfLer Lhe workshop parLlclpanLs reporLed useful
lessons ln lmproved communlcaLlon honorlng
Lhemselves and Lhelr relaLlonshlps and feellng
more open and LrusLlng 1he resulLs lndlcaLed an
lmprovemenL ln Lhe quallLy of lnLlmacy and communlcaLlon
and ln Lhe amounL of pleasure Lhe
womenand Lhe menfelL ln Lhelr sexual and
everyday llves
LcsLasy LssenLlals
8udgeL your money for your
courses Conslder lL an expense
for conLlnulng educaLlon WhaL
could be more valuable for your
growLh?
316
new 1rends ln 1anLrlc Lxperlences
CaLherlngs ls a recenL Lerm referrlng Lo a playful soclal LhaL provldes some organlzed
acLlvlLles and lce breakers (games pu[as massage roundroblns poLluck meals) Lo
faclllLaLe connecLlng wlLh llkemlnded people ln a sacred sensual lovlng and safe envlronmenL
1hese gaLherlngs are conslsLenL wlLh LanLrlc prlnclples and llfesLyle buL are
more free form Lhan workshops AlLhough Lhere ls some sLrucLure you never know
exacLly whaL's golng Lo happen because each gaLherlng
ls cocreaLed by Lhe group and lLs unlque comblnaLlon
of people 1he evenLs ofLen lnclude dance
slnglng drummlng feasLs and dependlng on Lhe faclllLles
ouLdoor acLlvlLles such as hlklng or spendlng
Llme on a beach CfLen people brlng favorlLe foods
and muslcal lnsLrumenLs Come dressed casually
Some LanLra Leachers are now offerlng exoLlc escapes
LhaL are llke vacaLlons buL conslsLenL wlLh LanLrlc
llfesLyle and pracLlces 1hese are held aL elaboraLe
homes (someLlmes Lhelr own) or oLher locaLlons wlLh
sensual envlronmenLs (compleLe wlLh hoL Lubs
saunas lakes and lndoor pools) 1hese mlghL be Lhe
same places where Lhey hold workshops semlnars
and prlvaLe coachlng however Lhe mlnlvacaLlons
offer a less sLrucLured and more fun aLmosphere
Parmony ln aradlse ln
8oulder Colorado ls Lhe
slLe of LanLrlc geLaways
1anLra 1uLorlal
ln Lhe LanLrlc sex communlLy
playshops refer Lo gaLherlngs LhaL
focus on Lhe pursulL of pleasure
and glve permlsslon for people
Lo play LogeLher as couples or ln
groups 8e aware of Lhe klnd of
openness Lhls could lnvolve
317
uolphln and whale Lrlps run by LanLra Leachers are also lncreaslngly popular uolphln
consclousness ls parL of Lhe LanLrlc wave (Lhe undulaLlon LhaL ls characLerlsLlc of ecsLasy)
CerLalnly awareness and preservaLlon of Lhese amazlng belngs ls conslsLenL
wlLh LanLrlc appreclaLlon of preservaLlon of Lhe envlronmenL naLure and all belngs
varlous reLreaL cenLers are known as locales for semlnars and workshops abouL LanLrlc
sex and workshops on relaLed Loplcs ofLen LaughL by noLed Leachers and experLs 1he
surroundlngs and faclllLles are parLlcularly conduclve Lo hearLcenLered evenLs and
openlng Lo lovlng energy 1hese lnclude Parbln PoL Sprlngs Lwo hours norLh of San
lranclsco Lhe Cmega CenLer whlch has headquarLers ln new ?ork buL a reLreaL cenLer
upsLaLe and Lhe Zen CenLer easL of Los Angeles
lnLegraLlng 1anLrlc Sex wlLh CLher 1echnlques
Many of Lhe Lechnlques of LanLrlc sex descrlbed ln Lhls book and used by noLed
LanLrlc masLers are adapLed from emoLlonal processes used ln oLher LherapeuLlc
modallLles or splrlLual pracLlces lor example Lhe emoLlonal release processes are
adapLed from Lechnlques used by oLher WesLern LheraplsLs and some medlLaLlon and
breaLhlng pracLlces are Laken from varlous LasLern LradlLlons
1he pracLlces of LanLrlc sex can ofLen be smooLhly lnLegraLed lnLo splrlLual growLh
rouLlnes wlLh many oLher dlsclpllnes WesLern pracLlLloners of LanLra are lncreaslngly
followlng Lhls Lrend as more collaboraLe on developlng workshops and as Lhe Lechnlques
of LanLrlc sex become more popular 1anLrlc pracLlces are lncreaslngly used
by more LradlLlonal LheraplsLs who follow dlfferenL WesLern dlsclpllnes 1heraplsLs
llke myself wlLh exLenslve Lralnlng ln cllnlcal psychology and backgrounds ln psychoanalyLlc
Lheory use LanLra ln a mlxLure of many oLher LherapeuLlc Lools and
Lechnlques 1hls hollsLlc approach can lnclude dlsclpllnes llke cognlLlvebehavloral
Lherapy neurollngulsLlc programmlng and CesLalL Lherapy l call lL belng an eclecLlc"
LheraplsLcusLom deslgnlng Lhe approach for whaLever Lhe person needs
318
1anLra ls a growlng dlsclpllne wlLh an lncreaslng number of opLlons avallable
for semlnars workshops and evenlng evenLs you can aLLend
8ecause Lhere are no unlform guldellnes for Lhe cerLlflcaLlon of LanLra Leachers
lL can be dlfflculL Lo choose one do conslderable research and geL recommendaLlons
from oLhers before maklng your cholce
8esearch LanLrlc Leachers and evenLs buL also follow your hearL abouL whaL's
rlghL for you ALLendlng an lnLroducLory evenlng ls a good ldea
Lngaglng ln some advanced breaLhlng pracLlces heallngs and oLher rlLuals
before one ls fully prepared can be dangerous flnd a quallfled Leacher Lo
gulde you
8udgeL your money and Llme Lo allow for your conLlnued educaLlon Lo keep
you focused on your pracLlce and Lo advance your growLh 1ake ongolng
courses aL dlfferenL levels repeaLlng courses or geLLlng lndlvldual coachlng
ChapLer 23
A Peallng lorce
for now and Lhe
luLure
ln 1hls ChapLer
1anLra as a global communlLy
Pow LanLra can lnLerrupL Lhe Lerrlble cycle of abuse
1urnlng away from arLlflclal hlghs
1anLra as a heallng force ln Lhe face of lllness
More Lolerance ls posslble Lhe LanLra way
Pow LanLra can help heal Lhe world
?ou've learned LhroughouL Lhls book LhaL Lhe prlnclples of LanLra and LanLrlc sex are
Lo keep an open hearL and Lo heal hurLs 1anLra knows no pre[udlces for any humans
llvlng Lhlngsor any Lhlngs for LhaL maLLerln Lhe world 1herefore you can express
your lovlng hearL energy ln many dlrecLlons and recelve Lhe beneflLs from LhaL experlence
1hls approach can fuel your connecLlon Lo all belngs and ulLlmaLely Lo Lhe unlverse
proLecL you from Lhe normal devasLaLlon of loss LhaL people suffer and open
you Lo new dlmenslons of lovlng Loward all belngs
l've also emphaslzed how LanLra can be healLhy for every aspecL of your llfe As we
move forward ln Lhls new mlllennlum llfe becomes more compllcaLed and challenglng
and world confllcLs more LhreaLenlng 1anLrlc sex can help ln ad[usLlng Lo Lhe
fasLpaced sLressful and Lechnologlcally dlglLlzed world we llve ln ln Lhls chapLer
you'll learn how Lhe LanLrlc llfesLyle can help you survlveand Lhrlveln Lhls new
age and make a beLLer fuLure for you your loved ones and Lhe world
320
?ou Are noL Alone
eople on cerLaln paLhs or wlLh slmllar lnLeresLs Lend Lo Lravel ln slmllar clrcles and
pursue slmllar lnLeresLs 1hls ls especlally Lrue when lL comes Lo LanLra Cne of Lhe
mosL Louchlng aspecLs of sLudylng LanLra ls LhaL you become connecLed Lo a group of
people referred Lo as Lhe LanLra communlLy" Serlous sLudenLs even refer Lo Lhe
LanLra famlly" Cf course Lhls can lead Lo all Lhe Lyplcal confllcLs LhaL mlghL arlse ln
any famlly (from peLLy complalnLs Lo blg fallouLs) Powever ln general Lhe parLlclpanLs
feel a sense of belonglng and muLual carlng LhaL ls especlally valuable ln Lhese
Lrylng lsolaLlng Llmes
1he lnLerneL has made lL posslble for everyone Lo communlcaLe more freely all
around Lhe world lor LanLra enLhuslasLs Lhls means an expanslon of Lhe LanLra communlLy
globally lL's easy Lo [oln Lhe lnLerneL global LanLra communlLy Lo feel more
connecLed Lo Lhe world ask quesLlons and share your experlences
Sendlng Lnergy Lspeclally ln Lhe lace of 1ragedy
WlLh a growlng splrlLual communlLy and more people commlLLed Lo heallng Lhere
are an lncreaslng number of global evenLs lnLended Lo heal Lhe planeL 1he annual
World AluS uay ls a model for Lhls paradlgm ln whlch people all over Lhe world are
lnvlLed Lo focus Lhelr aLLenLlon on a parLlcular sub[ecL ln Lhls case AluS 1he LanLra
communlLy has promoLed such evenLs conslsLenL wlLh LanLrlc prlnclples of spreadlng
love energy
When Lhe devasLaLlng Lragedy of Lhe LerrorlsL aLLacks on Lhe World 1rade 1owers Look
place ln SepLember 2001 emalls of love and supporL lnsLanLly flooded Lhe lnLerneL
Members of Lhe LanLra communlLy were parLlcularly acLlve ln sendlng ouL messages of
supporL and heallng l posLed many such messages on my slLe aL wwwcameraplaneL
com lncludlng mlnl" Lherapy sesslons wlLh people l meL on Lhe sLreeL who wanLed
advlce abouL Lroubllng lssues Cne man wanLed Lo know lf lL was okay Lo wanL more
sex he was ashamed Lo feel Lhls way ln Lhe face of oLhers loslng Lhelr llves and loved
ones l reassured hlm LhaL was normal AnoLher woman asked me lf she should dlvorce
her husband as she was consumed wlLh anger LhaL she needed Lo Lalk abouL Lhe
Lragedy buL he refused Lo dlscuss lL
Any LhreaL Lo llfe can lead Lo depresslon and wlLhdrawal from relaLlonshlps and sex
or Lhe opposlLea deslre for deeper connecLlon ln love and even more sex ouL of a
deslre Lo reafflrm llfe lor example one San lranclsco hosplLal reporLed more bables
born nlne monLhs afLer a devasLaLlng earLhquake And Lhlnk of Lhe number of marrlages
and bables concelved before men wenL off Lo World War ll When llfe ls LhreaLened
people need love lL's Lhe Llme for Lhe splrlL energy and pracLlce of LanLra wlLh
lLs emphasls on love
321
ChapLer 23 A Peallng lorce for now and Lhe luLure
AL one sesslon of our advanced Leacher Lralnlng wlLh 1anLrlka lnLernaLlonal 8odhl
Avlnasha lnvlLed sLudenLs Lo splrlLually [oln a slmllar advanced group ln Cermany Lo
puL our energles LogeLher Lo send heallng energy Lo Lhe planeL 1he pracLlce sLarLed
wlLh a process called ?oga nldra leadlng Lo deep relaxaLlon 1hls was followed by
gulded lmagery ln whlch 8odhl descrlbed exacLly whaL Lhe hlll ln Cermany where
Lhe group llved looked llke and Lhe rouLe of llghL energy LhaL we would rlde Lo geL
Lhere Several of Lhe parLlclpanLs ln boLh counLrles successfully had Lhe experlence
1anLra 1ales
eople need Lo be Lold how much Lhey are loved and fear LhaL Lhey won'L geL Lhe love
Lhey need Saylng l love you" ls a baslc Leachlng ln LanLra AfLer Lhe World 1rade CenLer
aLLacks one Arab college sLudenL asked me wheLher glrls would noL daLe hlm now ouL of
dlsLrusL for people of hls eLhnlclLy A young woman asked my help Lo geL her boyfrlend Lo
commlL Lo her She had asked hlm whaL he would do lf she were ln danger a quesLlon l
Lold hlm really meanL LhaL she needed hlm Lo Lell her how much he cares Pe flnally undersLood
her needs and agreed Lo her requesLs Lo spend more Llme LogeLher
1anLra 1uLorlal
?oga nldra known as sleep of Lhe yogl" ls a Lechnlque Lo progresslvely relax body parLs
and sLlll Lhe mlnd Lo reach LhaL momenL when you feel abouL Lo fall asleep buL are sLlll
awake 1hls ls a maglcal Llme Lo dlrecL your consclousness and empower your lnLenLlons
8elng ln LhaL sLaLe ls also useful Lo help people sLop smoklng and beaL oLher addlcLlons
1he nexL Llme you are wlLh your beloved send love energy you have charged Lhrough
your chakras and cycled LogeLher ouL Lo Lhe worldfor love and heallng for all (as
shown ln Lhe followlng lllusLraLlon)
322
Peallng Lhe Cycles of Abuse
1he number of women and men of all ages who have been abusedemoLlonally
physlcally or sexuallyls shocklng l have heard so many of Lhese sad Lales from people
calllng my radlo show Lo share Lhelr sLorles lorLunaLely people are paylng more
aLLenLlon Lo Lhese Lraumas faclllLaLlng heallng and prevenLlng furLher vlcLlmlzaLlon
8uL more needs Lo be done! 1anLrlc pracLlces can acLually creaLe a fuLure wlLh less
prevalence of such vlolaLlons ln several ways
1anLrlc pracLlces encourage men and women Lo seL Lhelr boundarles respecL Lhe
rlghLs of oLhers and communlcaLe wlLh more lovlng lnLenLlon ln Lhls way
Lhere wlll be less posslblllLy of mlsundersLandlng or power sLruggles LhaL lead Lo
sexual harassmenL or more serlous lssues
8y fosLerlng selfesLeem ln youngsLers and Leachlng Lhem Lo expecL respecL Lhey
wlll be more capable of reslsLlng peer pressures LhaL geL Lhem ln Lrouble and lnsLead
make wlse declslons and develop healLhy relaLlonshlps
1anLrlc pracLlces can acLually reduce Lhe posslblllLy of becomlng a vlcLlm of
abuse 1hls ls parLly due Lo Lhe facL LhaL becomlng senslLlve Lo energles can help
you deLecL poLenLlal dangers and deflecL aLLacks
Sendlng ouL heallng love
energy Lo Lhe world
323
Such awareness abouL energy can help youngsLers reslsL poLenLlally predaLory
behavlors 8y learnlng LhaL Lhelr body ls a sacred area Lhey can undersLand Lhe
lesson LhaL no one has a rlghL Lo see or Louch Lhelr sacred areas wlLhouL Lhelr
permlsslon and lf anyLhlng bad happens Lhey wlll be more llkely Lo Lell an
adulL lmmedlaLely and express Lhelr feellngs
racLlclng LanLra can help heal women and men who have been abused Lo regaln
selfrespecL and LrusL because Lhe phllosophy puLs such emphasls on respecL
equallLy of parLners malnLalnlng conLrol over your own body and
selfexpresslon Pavlng a parLner who honors Lhese prlnclples and generaLlng
lovlng energy can also help Lhese women and men LrusL new beloveds Lo allow
healLhy physlcal conLacL and healLhy closeness
1anLrlc pracLlces can help sLop Lhe vlcLlm/vlcLlmlzer cycle by focuslng on feellng
loved and sendlng ouL love asklng permlsslon before you Louch LransmuLlng
sexual urges lnLo oLher energles and heallng pasL palns
lorLunaLely people now feel less sLlgmaLlzed when
seeklng help when faced wlLh problems such as
abuse lollowlng a LanLrlc llfesLyle LhaL fosLers
klndness Loward oneself conLlnues Lhls healLhy aLLlLude
LhaL problems are noL shameful defecLs or
dlsasLers buL opporLunlLles for personal growLh
Couples and even exLended famlly groups can seek
help LogeLher conslsLenL wlLh Lhe LanLrlc splrlL of
empaLhy carlng and exLended communlLy
A PealLhy Way Lo CeL Plgh
now LhaL you know abouL LanLrlc pracLlces you
mlghL be wllllng Lo see how Lhe Lype of exerclses
lncludlng breaLhlng and generaLlng energy can
pale Lhe pursulL of arLlflclal hlghs Lhrough drugs and alcohol Why Lake drugs and
rlsk Lhose dangers when you can geL Lhe sameand beLLereffecLs Lhe naLural LanLrlc
way? Pere are [usL a few examples
1he ShakLl shake flre breaLh Csho medlLaLlon lama breaLhs freesLyle danclng
and sexerclses can geL your adrenallne golng ln Lhe same way as Lhe dangerous
drug speed
1he medlLaLlve pracLlces such as chanLlng om" and alLernaLe nosLrll breaLhlng
can make you as calm as Laklng a downer 8esL of all you geL Lo conLrol lL all!
8reaLhlng and sendlng energy Lhrough your body can make your braln explode
ln Lhe same way as mlndalLerlng drugs 1ry dolng Lhe bandhas (muscle holds
descrlbed ln ChapLer 3 rep ?our 8ody 1emple of Love") and hold Lhe breaLh
Lncourage chlldren Lo open Lhelr
hearLs more readlly Lo oLhers of
dlfferenL backgrounds uo Lhe
same and you mlghL be surprlsed
aL Lhe love LhaL comes your way!
324
before you shooL lL Lhrough your chakras ?ou'll geL a beLLer more naLural blasL
Lhan any drug can glve you wlLh no compllcaLlon addlcLlon or slde effecLs
leasure ls aL your flngerLlps 1ake lL ln Lhrough Lhe nose (your breaLh LhaL ls)
and blow your mlnd!
1anLra as a Peallng lorce ln Lhe lace of lllness
1anLrlc sex uLlllzes energy Lo heal palns sLored ln Lhe body 1hese do noL [usL apply Lo
sexual hurLs from pasL sexual experlences buL Lo emoLlonal wounds LhaL are assoclaLed
wlLh hurLs re[ecLlons and even Lo real physlcal lllnesses 1he Lechnlques work
because Lhey glve a person conLrol over hls or her energy help Lhem bulld powerful
pools of energy Lhrough Lhe sexual charge and Lhen dlrecL Lhelr energy
ulrecLlng energy Lhrough LanLra pracLlce ls conslsLenL wlLh Lechnlques used Lo heal serlous
lllnesses by helplng paLlenLs use lmagery Lo ldenLlfy where bad cells are and dlrecL
Lhelr good cells Lo overcome Lhe bad ones 1hls
can be used ln many dlsorders even llfeLhreaLenlng
lllnesses such as cancer
Callfornla LanLra Leacher ulane Creenberg speclallzes
ln helplng women wlLh cancer by Leachlng Lhem
LanLrlc sex Lechnlques My ma[or approach and Lhe
bellef LhaL l Leach women ls LhaL belng Lurned on ls a
ma[or heallng force" says Creenberg She noLes LhaL
Lhls llfeLhreaLenlng dlsease lnsulLs a woman's sense of
femlnlnlLy and LhaL drugs ofLen cause whaL she labels
a llbldoecLomy" or an exclslng of sex drlve
Creenberg lnvlLes women Lo conslder LhaL even durlng
a cancer crlsls a woman can sLlll en[oy her sexuallLy
and sense of womanhood She encourages women Lo
be presenL Lo Lhelr feellngs Lo glve aLLenLlon Lo Lhelr
yonl and breasL areas and Lo use breaLhlng and mudras
Lo send love energy and [ulce" Lo Lhelr own
body and Lo Lhelr parLners Creenberg lnslsLs LhaL women should noL lgnore Lhelr
anaLomy and genlLalla as many do when Lhelr llbldo ls low and embarrassmenL
abouL Lhelr body ls hlgh Creenberg helps Lhem reframe whaL ls and ls noL lovely
(such as masLecLomy scars) and encourages Lhem Lo leL love heal Maglc happens"
says Creenberg when women wlLh cancer pracLlce LanLra and suffer less"
Pow 1anLra romoLes 1olerance and ulverslLy
We cannoL avold news sLorles abouL Lragedles LhaL evolve from raclal eLhnlc and
llfesLyle dlverslLy 8ellglous groups are sLlll kllllng each oLher re[udlce agalnsL people
who choose dlfferenL llfesLyleshomosexuals Lransgendered peoplesLlll runs rampanL
PlsLory ls full of wars LhaL creaLe an us agalnsL Lhem" menLallLy
LcsLasy LssenLlals
lmagery Lechnlques glve paLlenLs
conLrol over Lhelr lllnesses
lamed medlcal docLor and cancer
speclallsL 8ernle Slegel has
been recommendlng Lhese Lechnlques
and successfully uslng
Lhem wlLh hls paLlenLs for years
323
?eL we are becomlng a global communlLy wlLh all
races culLures and creeds blendlng Lo creaLe a new
breed of human Croups wlLh alLernaLlve llfesLyles
have formed communlLles and acLlon organlzaLlons
1he LanLrlc llfesLyle fosLers cooperaLlon and
LrusL raLher Lhan dlsLrusL and aggresslon A generaLlon
of humans embraclng LanLra ls capable of
breaklng Lhe cycle of dysfuncLlon and desLrucLlon
by fosLerlng a deslre Lo supporL raLher Lhan desLroy
oLhers
Pow 1anLrlc Sex Can Pelp
Peal Lhe World
1anLra communlLles ofLen neLwork Lo come LogeLher
aL Llmes of harmonlc convergence Lo anchor
ln peace and love for Lhe planeL lL happened afLer
Lhe World 1rade aLLacks when members of Lhe
LanLra communlLy senL ouL emall messages requesLlng
people Lo all pray for peace aL exacLly Lhe
same Llme CLher LanLra pracLlLloners pracLlced sex
maglc as descrlbed ln ChapLer 13 Make lL !ulcy
wlLh Maglc and lay" uurlng Lhe helghL of sexual
energy arousal Lhey senL ouL heallng love energy
Lo Lhe world
A lofLy goal lndeedLanLrlc sex savlng Lhe world!
?eL pracLlclng LanLrlc sex can acLually help brlng
abouL more peace ln Lhe world 1he facL ls Lhe
happler you are wlLh yourself Lhe more LoleranL
you are of oLhers 1he more saLlsfled you are wlLh
your relaLlonshlps Lhe more wllllng you are Lo
LreaL oLhers well and see Lo lL LhaL Lhey are as
happy as you are
1anLrlc pracLlces help you go beyond Lhls paLrlarchal
world of domlnaLor consclousness ln whlch
one feels superlor over Lhe oLher and enLer a world
of balance harmony and peace 1hrough LanLra
you reallze LhaL noLhlng ln Lhe human condlLlon ls
allen Lo yourself and begln Lo feel your slsLers and
broLhers and oLher creaLures LhaL share Lhls world
wlLh you Cnce you feel oLhers you can no longer
wlsh Lhem lll or harm Lhem WlLh Lhls new
LcsLasy LssenLlals
ulverslLy experL and LanLra
Leacher !ohn Plll Lravels around
Lhe counLry Leachlng organlzaLlons
how Lo become more LoleranL
of dlfferences ln race age
and sex Pe says When we reallze
LhaL we are all Lhe same we
can approach people wlLh Lhe
respecL Lhey deserve whlch wlll
noL only beneflL Lhe lndlvldual
buL Lhe enLlre organlzaLlon
wlLh rlpples felL ln Lhe larger
communlLy"
1anLra 1uLorlal
lncreaslngly research ls focuslng
on energy Lransmlsslon for heallng
ueepak Chopra's CenLer for
Well 8elng ls collaboraLlng wlLh
Lhe lnsLlLuLe of noeLlc Sclences
and 8asLyr unlverslLy along wlLh
federal monles from Lhe
naLlonal lnsLlLuLes of PealLh on
1he neuralLnergy 1ransfer
ro[ecL" Lo sclenLlflcally explaln
Lhe power of prayer
326
paradlgm you change lndlvldually and Lhe planeL as a whole changes Lo creaLe a
Lrue parLnershlp socleLy wlLh equallLy for all
SLudylng LanLra connecLs you Lo a global LanLrlc communlLy LhaL can provlde
you wlLh a sense of belonglng and muLual carlng
1he pracLlces of LanLra can heal Lhe wounds of abuse and puL an end Lo Lhe
vlcLlm/vlcLlmlzer cycle of abuse
1anLrlc pracLlces hold Lhe power Lo help heal many physlcal and emoLlonal
lllnesses even Lhose LhaL are llfe LhreaLenlng
1he Lolerance and undersLandlng necessary Lo heal raclal and lnLernaLlonal
Lenslons ls faclllLaLed by LanLrlc pracLlces LhaL Leach people Lo come from
love
Love honor and respecL for oneself and parLners conslsLenL wlLh a LanLrlc
llfesLyle can exLend Lo Lhe larger communlLy and Lhe world creaLlng Lhe
poLenLlal for peace
Appendlx A
Clossary
amrlLa lemale e[aculaLe also called Lhe necLar of Lhe goddess and consldered a
blesslng for Lhe parLner and Lhe founLaln of youLh
bandha Muscular lock used Lo dlrecL and lnLenslfy sacred energy
beloved A person wlLh whom you share lovlng energy aL Lhe mosL commlLLed level
and wlLh Lhe hlghesL of lnLenLlons Loward your muLual good
blndl A decoraLlon LhaL LanLrlc women place on Lhe Lhlrd eye Lo dazzle buL also Lo
ald Lhe woman and her parLner ln focuslng durlng medlLaLlon 1he word formally
means seed" or doL" whlch symbollzes Lhe unlon of male and female 8ed doLs are
recelved from Lhe moLher and whlLe doLs from Lhe faLher aL concepLlon
bllss An exLremely ecsLaLlc and expanslve feellng ofLen characLerlzed by clear llghL
LhaL fllls Lhe mlnd and body
chakra A cenLer of energy ln Lhe shape of a wheel LhaL emanaLes from cerLaln body
areas or cenLers and ls Lhe focus of concenLraLlon ln LanLrlc sex pracLlces 1he seven
cenLers are locaLed aL Lhe base of splne genlLals belly hearL LhroaL forehead (Lhlrd
eye) and Lop of Lhe head
daka 1he SanskrlL name for a hlghly Lralned male who helps arouse bllssful sexual
energy ln anoLher who wanLs Lo learn LanLrlc pracLlces A male healer who embodles
Shlva energy and serves ShakLl uncondlLlonally consldered a prlesL who could be
versed ln many dlsclpllnes lncludlng heallng yoga sexuallLy phllosophy psychology
and meLaphyslcs
daklnl 1he female equlvalenL of Lhe daka 1he SanskrlL name for a hlghly Lralned female
who helps arouse bllssful sexual energy ln anoLher person who ls learnlng LanLrlc
pracLlces Also a goddess or prlesLess who ls a healer and llke Lhe daka can have varled
experLlse ln a number of dlsclpllnes
Appendlx A
328
delLyyoga 1he pracLlce of allgnlng oneself wlLh a delLy ln medlLaLlon for Lhe speclflc
purpose of aLLalnlng Lhe quallLles embodled by LhaL delLy
deva/devl AnoLher Lerm Lo refer Lo gods and goddesses respecLlvely a delLy cosmlc
power or holy creaLlve force
empowermenL An lnlLlaLlon lnLo LanLrlc pracLlces used ln modern Llmes Lo refer Lo
personal sLrengLh Lo follow one's paLh wlLh convlcLlons and overcomlng any fears
energy 1he llfe force from wlLhln LhaL can be pooled lnLernally and Lhen channeled
Lo creaLe magnlflcenL resulLs ln Lhe lnner and ouLer worlds
goddess/god delLles SplrlLually enllghLened powerful eroLlc sexual or ferLlllLy relaLed
energles worshlpped ln rlLuallsLlc ways 8efers Lo anclenL belngs as well as every
conLemporary woman and man each equally deservlng of belng LreaLed wlLh respecL
and honor
groundlng ConnecLlng solldly Lo Lhe earLh feellng secure and cenLered wlLhln
one's body as Lhrough Lhe energy of Lhe flrsL (base) chakra
healer A person who faclllLaLes Lhe growLh of anoLher whlle belng clear of personal
needs or demands
holdlng Lhe space ConLrlbuLlng your poslLlve energy Lo whaLever ls happenlng Lo
make Lhe envlronmenL or people safe
lnlLlaLlon A process by whlch an auLhorlzed Leacher Lralns you ln speclflc pracLlces
and deems LhaL you are ready for Lhese
lnner fluLe A clear breaLhlng paLhway Lhrough Lhe energy cenLers (chakras) of your
body so LhaL you can almosL hear Lhe alr ln a fluLellke sound Lravellng Lhrough your
body
kundallnl 8llssful energy dormanL wlLhln Lhe splne unLll acLlvaLed by LanLrlc pracLlces
CfLen deplcLed as a colled serpenL LhaL moves up Lhe splne
llngam 1he phallus A man's wand of llghL" derlved from Lhe word llnga" meanlng
plllar of adoraLlon and worshlp
malLhuna LlaboraLe LanLrlc rlLual wlLh many ceremonlal sLeps usually culmlnaLlng
ln some form of sacred sexual unlon
mandala A dlagram symbollc of a message abouL llfe and deaLh and Lhe naLure of
belng used as a Lool for medlLaLlon 1he deslgn ofLen deplcLs anlmal forms naLure
scenes and parLlcular delLles and evokes Lhelr properLles or aspecLs
manLra 8eclLaLlons (of words phrases or sacred SanskrlL syllables) used ln pracLlclng
medlLaLlons Lhe repeaLlng of whlch focuses aLLenLlon and lnvokes splrlLual powers
medlLaLlon ConcenLraLlon LhaL sLllls Lhe mlnd Lo allow pure energy Lo exlsL wlLhouL
Lhe lnLerference of LhoughLs or emoLlons
mudra Sacred hand gesLures Lo focus Lhe body's energy wlLh lnLenLlon
329
Clossary
nadls SubLle nerve channels relaLed Lo physlcal body and energy heallng
nlrvana 8eachlng Lhe hlghesL sLaLe of bllss and enllghLenmenL LhaL ls llberaLed
from Lhe aLLachmenL Lo worldly possesslons Also consldered as Lhe ulLlmaLe splrlLual
peace LhaL Lranscends blrLh and deaLh so LhaL Lhe soul no longer needs Lo lncarnaLe
on Lhe earLh plane
prana Lnergy alr breaLh llfe force LhaL ls generaLed ln Lhe body by nurLurlng
heallng physlcal and menLal pracLlces healLhy eaLlng and devoLlon Lo selfLransformaLlon
and enllghLenmenL
pu[a A speclflc rlLual or sacred clrcle of worshlp performed by a group of people
rlLuals AcLlons LhaL are speclal or ceremonlal ln naLure 1hose done durlng LanLrlc
lovemaklng lnclude baLhlng maklng dedlcaLlons of love and seLLlng lnLenLlons
safe space 1he experlence of belng proLecLed from danger elLher referrlng Lo a
physlcal locaLlon or Lo Lhe amblance creaLed by Lhe people presenL 1hls faclllLaLes
free expresslon
SanskrlL 1he anclenL sacred Plndu language ln whlch mosL rellglous LexLs are wrlLLen
whlch expresses a LoLal phllosophlcal sclenLlflc and rellglous body of knowledge
abouL splrlLual and sacred pracLlces Lo reach hlgher sLaLes of consclousness 1he word
means perfecL" or compleLe"
separaLlon 1he sensaLlon of belng aparL from oLhers creaLed by our Lhlnklng LhaL
we are dlfferenL or by wlLhholdlng emoLlons or LhoughLs
sexual heallng An experlence ln whlch a healer faclllLaLes someone ln a sesslon
where sexual energy ls aroused and allowed Lo be expressed for Lhe person's hlghesL
good
ShakLl A name used Lo refer Lo Lhe ulLlmaLe energy creaLed by Lhe force of Lhe femlnlne
and any woman as a goddess Also Lhe name of a Plndu delLy who represenLs
Lhe dlvlne moLher and lover who unlLes wlLh Lord Shlva for bllssful consclousness
Shlva A name used Lo refer Lo any man as Lhe ulLlmaLe represenLaLlon of male energy
Also Lhe cosmlc mascullne force capable of creaLlon or desLrucLlon Lhe dlvlne
male worshlpped ln LanLrlc pracLlces and manlfesLed ln many forms who comblnes
wlLh ShakLl for bllssful unlon
Shlva/ShakLl mudra An exerclse of brlnglng Lhe energy up from Lhe earLh (Lhe
source of femlnlne ShakLl energy)lnLo Lhe hearL area and brlnglng lL down from Lhe
sky (Lhe source of male Shlva energy) lnLo Lhe hearL area
shushumma 1he cenLral energy channel vlsuallzed as a Lube of llghL ln fronL of Lhe
splne
spoonlng poslLlon A poslLlon where one parLner lles agalnsL Lhe oLher wlLh hls
chesL pressed agalnsL her back meanL Lo creaLe connecLlon or provlde safeLy and
proLecLlon
Appendlx A
330
Langhka Sacred palnLlngs usually of delLles and oLher llfe forms LhaL represenL unlversal
Lhemes and forces locuslng on Lhe lmages asslsL ln Lhe aLLalnmenL of varlous
sLaLes of consclousness and awareness of Lhe naLure of llfe and deaLh
LanLra SanskrlL word for sacred Leachlngs and pracLlces LhaL lead Lo hlgh sLaLes of
bllss and enllghLenmenL A mysLlcal and splrlLual sysLem LhaL comblnes phllosophy
psychology and cosmology and LransmuLes energy ln order Lo achleve a balance beLween
opposlLes and Lhe lnLegraLlon and evoluLlon of mlnd body and splrlL
CharacLerlzed by an honorlng of Lhe goddess unlLlng wlLh god energy
LanLrlc sex uslng Lhe Leachlngs of LanLra ln Lhe sexual unlon Lo reach hlgh sLaLes of
bllss and enllghLenmenL
LanLrlc sex masLer A person Lralned ln LanLrlc sex pracLlces who can Leach oLhers
on Lhe paLh
LanLrlc Lemple ?our body ln Lhe sacred acL of glvlng and recelvlng pleasure for
yourself and your parLner also any place ln whlch you engage ln LanLrlc lovemaklng
rlLuals (bedroom anoLher room ln Lhe house hoLel room LhaL you speclfy as a sacred
place for lovemaklng for even one nlghL)
LanLrlka Any woman pracLlced ln Lhe arL of movlng sexual energy Lo reach hlgher
sLaLes of consclousness and bllss for herself and a parLner ln anclenL Llmes a woman
experL ln Lhe arLs of lovemaklng
Lhlrd eye 1he symbollc eye on Lhe forehead beLween our Lwo eyes LhaL ls a focal
polnL for concenLraLlon Loward hlgher sLaLes of consclousness
LransmuLlng energy Movlng energy from one energy cenLer Lo anoLher such as
uslng Lhe breaLh Lo pull energy up from Lhe sexual cenLer lnLo Lhe hearL area
va[ra A SanskrlL Lerm for Lhe male genlLal organ or llngam (also called a [ewel or
dor[e ln 1lbeLan) symbollc of power lndesLrucLlblllLy and greaL worLh Consldered a
maglcal weapon or LhunderbolL lL ls deplcLed ln an emblem or forged lnLo a Lhreedlmenslonal
ob[ecL wlLh Lwo crownllke shapes connecLed wlLh a ball ln Lhe cenLer
1he male symbol ls comblned wlLh a bell symbollzlng Lhe female Lo creaLe a unlon
of boLh energles
vlsuallzaLlon 1he use of creaLlve lmaglnaLlon ln medlLaLlon Lo con[ure up sLaLes of
belng
yab yum A pose used ln many LanLrlc sex pracLlces ln whlch woman slLs asLrlde her
parLner faclng hlm so LhaL Lhelr chakras are allgned Lo faclllLaLe Lhelr connecLlon
1helr feeL can meeL behlnd each oLher's backs Lo furLher enclrcle Lhem
yang Lnergy LhaL manlfesLs as mascullne energy symbollc of quallLles LhaL are acLlve
analyLlc and assoclaLed wlLh Lhe heaven and faLher MeanL Lo unlLe wlLh yln
(femlnlne) energy ln order Lo achleve balance necessary for enllghLenmenL
yanLra MysLlc geomeLrlcal dlagram used for heallng medlLaLlon
331
Clossary
yln Lnergy LhaL manlfesLs as femlnlne consldered symbollc of recepLlvlLy nurLurance
earLh and all LhaL ls opposlLe Lo yang energy MeanL Lo unlLe wlLh yang ln order
Lo achleve balance and wholeness necessary for enllghLenmenL
yoga A physlcal dlsclpllne LhaL condlLlons Lhe body as a vehlcle Lhrough whlch Lhe
mlnd can aLLaln hlgher sLaLes of consclousness
yogl/yoglnl SanskrlL names Lo refer Lo gods and goddesses (devas and devls) or
classes of splrlLual belngs as well as Lhose males and females who engage ln yoga
pracLlces
yonl SanskrlL word for Lhe vaglna a woman's sacred Lemple Lhe symbol of ShakLl
or female power

Appendlx 8
Workshops Web
SlLes 1eachers
and 1anLra
CommunlLles
LlsLed here are some helpful resources for you Lo sLarLand conLlnueyour pracLlce
l've llsLed whaLever lnformaLlon Lhe source provlded Cnce you geL sLarLed you'll lnevlLably
llnk from one slLe Lo anoLher and flnd whaL you need CeL ln Louch wlLh me
(see ad page) wlLh any quesLlons
1eachers and Workshops
Pere ls lnformaLlon abouL varlous people and places you can explore for more lnformaLlon
abouL LanLrlc pracLlces and Lralnlng experlences 1he llsL lncludes conLacL lnformaLlon
for LanLra Leachers and resources referred Lo ln Lhls book Lo help gulde your
cholce of whaL's besL for you 1hese offer a varleLy of servlces lncludlng evenLs workshops
for lndlvlduals and couples varlous levels of advanced work prlvaLe coachlng
and Leacher Lralnlngs 1helr slLes also offer books vldeos Cus cloLhlng and oLher
lLems for LanLrlc pracLlce
1anLrlka lnLernaLlonal
LxecuLlve ulrecLor AnLolneLLe Aslmus
18881An18lkA (18888268743)
Lmall LanLrlkaln[aolcom
Web slLe wwwLanLrlkalnLernaLlonalcom
Weekend workshops and weeklong Lralnlngs aL lnLroducLory and more advanced levels
glven by Lralned Leachers ln Lhe 1anLrlka lnLernaLlonal LradlLlon founded by 8odhl
Avlnasha auLhor of !ewel ln Lhe LoLus and Llvlng ln 8llss Comprehenslve approach unlfles
mlnd body and splrlL Lo harness sexual energy Lo hlgher sLaLes of consclousness
and ecsLasy Also offers Leacher cerLlflcaLlon books vldeos and oLher lLems
Appendlx 8
334
Charles and Carollne Mulr
Source School of 1anLra
C 8ox 1431
Walluku Pl 96793
8083728364
lax 8083728622
Lmall LanLra[maulgaLewaycom
Web slLe wwwsourceLanLracom
A yoga masLer and sexual healer for over 20 years Lhe Mulrs are ploneers ln Lhe fleld
of LanLra ln Amerlca and offer a wlde varleLy of courses for beglnnlng or advanced
slngles and couples lncludlng cerLlflcaLlon for Leachers 1housands of men and
women have Laken Lhelr weekend workshops wlLh speclal emphasls on freelngand
heallngsexual energy and honorlng Lhe goddess 8ooks and vldeos on consclous
lovlng" and secreLs of female sexual ecsLasy as well as oLher lLems are also avallable
8uLLerfly Workshops
lounders Laurle Pandlers and !oshua SmlLh
3701 8eno 8oad nW
WashlngLon uC 20008
2026867440
Lmall lnfo[buLLerflyworkshopscom
Web slLe wwwbuLLerflyworkshopscom
Called Lhe place where people fly" Lhls commlLLed couple offers workshops on sub[ecLs
llke bllss ecsLasy and personal empowermenL courses ln creaLlve Lechnlques llke
?ogaboxlng and vacaLlon reLreaLs ln Lhe uS and abroad for lndlvlduals and couples
aL all levels Also sells cloLhlng [ewelry vldeos books muslc and arLwork
Carla 1aranLola
7188992267
Lmall LanLra[ulLlneLneL
Web slLe www1anLranew?orkcom
rlvaLe LanLrlc energy sesslons for men women and couples and LanLra semlnars and
workshops for small and large groups ln new ?ork and around Lhe counLry Carla has
20 years as a yoga lnsLrucLor and relaLlonshlp counselor
CelebraLlons of Love
lounder Lorl SLar
c/o Sunrlse CenLer
43 San ClemenLe urlve SulLe C200
CorLe Madera CA 94923
413924LlvL (4139243483)
Web slLe wwwcelebraLlonsoflovecom
Comprehenslve programs of LanLrlc sLudy from a varleLy of Leachers and weekend
and oLher vacaLlon reLreaLs as well as celebraLory evenlng evenLs opular courses ln
1anLra Peallng and Sacred SexuallLy" and 8reaLh Love and asslon" also ln communlcaLlon
and massage
333
Workshops Web SlLes 1eachers and 1anLra CommunlLles
8oberL lrey
C 8ox 1006
SLudlo ClLy CA 91614
8187840110
Lmall 8oberL[sacredLanLracom
Web slLe wwwSacred1anLracom
Leads or coleads workshops and LanLrlc evenLs especlally wlLh orlglnal muslc
8ackground ln medlLaLlon and Suflsm 8uddhls and counsellng
Sky uanclng 1anLra
lounder Margo Anand
C 8ox 2967
San 8afael CA 949122967
4134346030
Lmall skyofflce[lnfoaslscom
Web slLe wwwmargoLanandcom
A ploneer of LanLra and sLudenL of Csho Anand's brand of LanLra Skydanclng ls
LaughL by her Lralnees ln Lhe uS whlle she does speclal weeklong workshops and
Lralnlngs AuLhor of many books on LanLrlc sex lncludlng 1he ArL of Sexual Maglc she
ls currenLly pursulng a llfelong dream Lo seL up a splrlLual church
Marcl !avrll
13428 Maxella Avenue #136
Marlna del 8ey CA 90292
3103069838
Web slLe hLLp//vlLalenergycenLercom/classeshLml
CerLlfled body worker massage LheraplsL LalenLed lnLulLlve healer and LanLrlc sex
Leacher offers cerLlflcaLlon courses ln bodywork as well as LanLra evenLs courses and
coachlng for men and women
1aolsL Sex
unlversal 1ao CenLer Co LLd
lounder ManLak Chla
274/1 Moo 7 Luang nua uol
SakeL Chlang Mal 30220 1halland
16633493396
lax 16633493832
Lmall unlversalLao[unlversalLaocom or lnfo[Laogardencom
Web slLes wwwunlversalLaocom wwwmulLlorgasmlccom
LxperL ln LasLern 1aolsL Lechnlques ln sexuallLy for men and women ManLak Chla
has been Leachlng for Lhree decades Pe has wrlLLen many books on Lhese Lechnlques
and offers Lralnlngs aL hls reLreaL cenLer ln 1halland
Appendlx 8
336
Cuodoushka
ueer 1rlbe MeLls Medlclne SocleLy (u1MMS)
4084433831
Web slLes wwwSplrlLualsexuallLycom wwwdLmmsorg
naLlve Amerlcan lndlan LanLrlc LradlLlon LhaL uses breaLhwork and oLher rlLuals of
speclal sexual sklll Lo achleve overall wellbelng
1he ArL of 8elng LLC
lounder Alan Lowen
C 8ox 790269
ala Pl 96770
8083721433
Lmall [an[LhearLofbelngcom
Web slLe wwwLhearLofbelngcom
Workshops lnclude 8ody PearL Soul" LanLra Lralnlngs and 1he unlversal
Lxperlence"
1eachers ln a Male/lemale 1eam
ulck and AnLolneLLe Aslmus
ClnclnnaLl CP
18779313030 or 3139313030
Lmall adaslmus[fuseneL
Web slLe wwwLanLrahearLcom
Lxperlenced LanLrlc couple marrled ln lovlng unlon for 30 years lead evenlng evenLs
and workshops ln Lhelr local area and around Lhe counLry ln Lhe LradlLlon of 1anLrlka
lnLernaLlonal
SLeve and LoklLa CarLer
lnsLlLuLe for LcsLaLlc Llvlng
18779826872 or 7079286964
Web slLe wwwecsLaLlcllvlngcom
1ralned LanLra Leachers also experL ln Lechnlques of massage and waLsu (heallng ln
waLer) 1hey also coordlnaLe Skydanclng LanLra workshops
Wllllam llorlan and ChrlsLlna Sophla
962 uorLhel SLreeL
SebasLopol CA 93472
7073247898
Lmall wllllamflorlan[aolcom or chrlsLlnasophla[aolcom
Web slLe www1anLrauancecom
Crganlzes parLles and LanLrlc gaLherlngs for evenlngs or weekends ln romanLlc and exoLlc
envlronmenLs and workshops ln LanLra and sensual dance wlLh performances of
LanLrlc love rlLuals god/goddess dance massage and sensual feasLs
337
Mark (umeshanand) Mlchaels and aLrlcla (veenanand) !ohnson
kallash CenLer for ersonal uevelopmenL lnc
1992 Commerce SLreeL #301
?orkLown PelghLs n? 10398
9149627328
Lmall lnfo[LanLrapmcom
Web slLe wwwLanLrapmcom
uevoLed marrled couple who comblne conLemporary WesLern LanLra wlLh a LradlLlonal
llneagebased approach 1hey also offer dlsLance learnlng programs wlLh ur
!ohn Mumford a leadlng flgure ln conLemporary LanLra now llvlng ln AusLralla
lrancesca CenLllle and 8rlan 8ourke
1he Llfeuance CenLer
3104632320
Lmall sacreddancer[mlndsprlngcom
Web slLe wwwllfedancecenLercom
CodlrecLors of Lhe Llfeuance CenLer Lhey Leach sacred sensual dance and glve workshops
ln consclous fllrLlng and relaLlonshlp skllls ueveloplng LanLra communlLy aL
wwwlshLarLempleorg Lo ralse awareness abouL poslLlve sexuallLy
Workshops for Speclal opulaLlons
College SLudenLs
Meghan LamberL and 8yan ueluz
Lmall dolphlnLanLra[yahoocom or ryanofllghL[hoLmallcom
Collegeage couple Lralned by 1anLrlka lnLernaLlonal hold evenLs and workshops
especlally for college sLudenLs
1een 1anLra
Shavana llneberg hu
Lmall shavana[lndracom
Web slLe wwwLeenLanLracom
sychologlsL offers workshops for Leens Lo develop selfesLeem and relaLlonshlp skllls
uslng LanLrlc consclousness
Appendlx 8
338
Cay Men
8ruce Anderson
Lmall 8ruce[gayLanLracom
Web slLe wwwgayLanLracom
Classes on LanLra for gay men glven by Callfornlabased LanLra Leacher uslng krlya
!yoLl Cobra 8reaLh massage and oLher LanLra Lechnlques
ulsablllLy
MlLch 1epper hu
Web slLe wwwsexualhealLhcom
LxLenslve Web slLe abouL all aspecLs of sexuallLy lncludlng dlsablllLy
Slngles
Web slLe wwwLalklnghearLscom
Ceremonles and workshops on ConversaLlons 1haL MaLLer" especlally for Slngles
Cancer
ulane Creenberg
4138987310
Lmall keener38[hoLmallcom
1anLra educaLor cerLlfled by Lhe Mulrs' Source School of 1anLra Creenberg ls also a
sexual healer and advocaLe for women who speclallzes ln helplng women wlLh cancer
heal
8elaLed 1ralnlngs
1anLra Sound 1onlng
Chana of !oy
lounder karln Schelde
C 8ox 1173
Palku Pl 96708
18008417437 or 8082496434
Lmall karln[soundandvolcecom
1alenLed healer glves workshops and prlvaLe coachlng ln uslng volce sounds chanLlng
and oLher breaLhwork exerclses for LransformaLlon expanslon of ablllLy Lo communlcaLe
heallng and empowermenL Also offers vldeos audloLapes and Cus
339
Splnal AllgnmenL
Lexl llsher uC
AbundanL PealLh AssoclaLes
alm Sprlngs CA
7603274041
Web slLe wwwabudndanLhealLhorg
1anLra Leacher also Lralned ln nuLrlLlonal counsellng and speclal Lechnlques Lo keep
Lhe splne healLhy
new 8elaLlonshlp Cholces
ueborah Anapol
4133071739
Web slLe wwwlovewlLhouLllmlLscom
8uns evenLs workshops and lnLenslve Lralnlngs for lndlvlduals and couples lnLeresLed
ln new lovesLyle cholces based on her book olymory Lhe new Love WlLhouL
LlmlLs Also offers vldeo LroLlc SplrlLuallLy based on Lhe flrsL CelebraLlon of Sacred
SexuallLy Conference she organlzed
Sasha and !aneL Lessln
1371 Malalhl
Walluku Pl 96793
18772444103 Loll free or 8082444103
Lmall planeLsexy[aolcom
Web slLe wwwschoolofLanLracom
CommlLLed couple who runs evenlngs parLles workshops ln Lhelr home ln Maul and
ln oLher parLs of Lhe counLry Lxperlenced ln LanLra as well as yoga and breaLhlng
Lechnlques and speclallze ln creaLlng LanLrlc polyamorous communlLles
8elaLed CenLers for ersonal CrowLh
Csho lnLernaLlonal
210 LasL 68 SLreeL
new ?ork n? 10021
2123833666
lax 2128798680
Lmall osholnLernaLlonal[oshocom
Web slLe wwwoshoorg
Also conLacL karuna kress Ldu ulrecLor CenLer for Consclousness
C 8ox 186
LasLhampLon MA 01027
4133272697 or emall nLl1C[earLhllnk for CshorelaLed workshops
LxLenslve organlzaLlon dedlcaLed Lo Lhe Leachlngs of Lhe splrlLually lncorrecL mysLlc"
Csho whlch lncludes a medlLaLlon resorL books Lapes a magazlne and Leachers all
over Lhe world who offer classes
Appendlx 8
340
Parbln PoL Sprlngs
C 8ox 782
MlddleLown CA 93461
18006222477
Lmall recepLlon[harblnorg
Web slLes wwwharblnorg or wwwharblnhoLsprlngscom
8eLreaL cenLer norLh of San lranclsco known for lLs hoL sprlng pools LhaL hosLs conferences
and workshops of varlous heallng Loplcs led by noLed experLs ln varlous
heallng arLs flelds CloLhlngopLlonal vacaLlon spoL also offers evenlng evenLs such as
dances and prayer clrcles
Cmega lnsLlLuLe
130 Lake urlve
8hlnebeck n? 12372
18009331001
Lmall reglsLraLlon[eomegaorg
Web slLe wwweomegaorg
A heallng cenLer headquarLered ln upsLaLe new ?ork LhaL lL also organlzes [ourneys Lo
oLher parLs of Lhe counLry and abroad Polds over 230 workshops LhroughouL Lhe
year relaLed Lo healLh and wellness conducLed by noLed experLs and sponsors wellness
vacaLlons and a wlde varleLy of heallng servlces
new Llfe Lxpo
218 WesL 72nd SLreeL
new ?ork n? 10024
2127871600
PosLs occaslonal weekendlong healLh falrs where a wlde varleLy of healLh provlders
exhlblL Lhelr servlces and experLs lead panels and classes
1he ropheLs Conference
18887773981
Lmall propheLs[greaLmysLeryorg
1ravel programs and weekend conferences wlLh renowned experLs and avanL Lhlnkers
ln a wlde specLrum of worldvlews from phllosophy Lo splrlLuallLy
8ody LlecLrlc
6327A 1elegraph Avenue
Cakland CA 946091113
3106331394
Lmall bodyelecLrlcweb[aolcom
Web slLe wwwbodyelecLrlcorg
Cffers workshops and reLreaLs ln heallng arLs LhaL celebraLe Lhe eroLlc body
341
8eLreaLs and CaLherlngs
aradlse aL Parmony
!ullana uahl (ShakLl !oy) hu MA CSSL
7647 LefLhand Canyon urlve
!amesLown CC 80433
18884163322 or 3034139073
lax 3034139072
Lmall lnfo[sacredsexyescom
Web slLe wwwsacredsexyescom
Colorado mounLaln reLreaL cenLer wlLh lndoor pool/spa and rlver grounds for relaxaLlon
and vacaLlon pleasure Also offers heallng work on sacred sexuallLy for lndlvlduals
and couples
Coddess CaLherlngs
lounder and rlesLess Marylyn MoLherbear ScoLL
7079373629
Lmall moLherbearscoLL[mlndsprlngcom
Annual weekend of workshops Lo empower women Lo develop selfawareness and
selfesLeem and Lo connecL wlLh Lhelr femlnlne splrlL and power Peld ln a reLreaL
camp ln Callfornla
Llvlng LcsLasy lnsLlLuLe Amerlcan 1anLra
aul 8amana uas and Marllena Sllbey
4134991769
lax 4134999163
Lmall yalule[pacbellneL
Web slLe www3mmaglccom
Cffers playshops monLhly parLles and muslcal evenLs Also produced a vldeo
lnLlmaLe SecreLs of Sex and SplrlL on pleasurlng Lechnlques speclallzlng ln uslng sound
conslsLenL wlLh 8amana uas' muslcal LalenL Solo concerL planlsL has Cus for lovemaklng
8elaLed Courses (noL necessarlly 1anLra)
Puman Awareness lnsLlLuLe (PAl)
18008004117
Lmall offlce[halorg
Web slLe wwwhalorg
Workshops on all aspecLs of sexuallLy and lnLlmaLe relaLlonshlps lncludlng Loplcs as
Love Sex and lnLlmacy"
Appendlx 8
342
Woman WlLhln lnc
18007320890
Lmall wwlLhln[aolcom
Web slLe wwwwomanwlLhlnorg
Cffers many workshops and supporL groups for women's empowermenL and heallng
Manklnd ro[ecL
18008704611
Web slLe wwwmkporg
Cffers 1he new Warrlor" Lralnlng for men orlglnally called 1he Wlldman
Weekend" for lnlLlaLlon processes and empowermenL for men
uennls MeadShlkaly
3414887800
lax 3414882730
Lmall lnfo[sacredrelaLlonshlpscom
Web slLe wwwsacredrelaLlonshlpscom
Workshops by Lwo male faclllLaLors on Peallng 8elaLlonshlps wlLh laLher Leavlng
My laLher's Pouse" Lo help women face and Lransform unresolved lssues relaLed Lo
Lhelr faLher whlch lmpede Lhelr relaLlonshlps wlLh men uses medlLaLlons muslc
vlsuallzaLlon gulded lmagery [ournallng group dlscusslon and lndlvldual process
work
Web SlLes
wwwLanLracom
lounder Suzle Peumann
7078233063
A ploneer Web slLe LhaL exLenslvely covers Lhe producLs and servlces ln Lhe LanLra
communlLy lncludlng a wlde range of vldeos books audloLapes and Cus Also produced
a vldeo 1he AnclenL SecreLs of Sexual LcsLasy feaLurlng many LanLra experLs and
Lechnlques A good source Lo geL an ldea of Lhe breadLh of producLs ln Lhe fleld of
LanLra
wwwsexuallLycom
Lmall conLacL[sexuallLycom
A slLe LhaL offers lnformaLlon abouL a wlde range of sexuallLy lssues from sexual
harassmenL Lo bondage as a clearlnghouse for lnformaLlon on Lhe fleld ln general
Appendlx C
1anLrlc 1ools
8ooks
Pere are some books LhaL l recommend on LanLra and relaLed Loplcs
1anLrlc Sex
!ewel ln Lhe LoLus and Llvlng ln 8llss by 8odhl Avlnasha (SunsLar ubllshlng 1994 and
1anLrlka lnLernaLlonal 2002)
1he ArL of Consclous Lovlng by Charles and Carollne Mulr (Mercury Pouse 1990)
1he Lncyclopedla of Sacred SexuallLy lrom Aphrodlslacs and LcsLasy Lo ?onl Worshlp and
Zaplam ?oga by 8ufus Camphausen (lnner 1radlLlons 1999)
SplrlLual Sex SecreLs of 1anLra from Lhe lce Age Lo Lhe new Mlllennlum by nlk uouglas
(ockeL 8ooks 1997)
Sexual Lnergy LcsLasy A racLlcal Culde Lo Lovemaklng by uavld and Lllen 8amsdale
(8anLam uoubleday uell ubllcaLlons 1993)
1he LssenLlal 1anLra A Modern Culde Lo Sacred SexuallLy by kenneLh 8ay SLubbs
(! 1archer 1989)
1he 1ao of Love and Sex 1he AnclenL Chlnese Way Lo LcsLasy by !olan Chang (vlklng
ress 1993)
1he ArL of Sexual Maglc CulLlvaLlng Sexual Lnergy Lo 1ransform ?our Llfe by MargoL
Anand (uLnam ubllshlng Croup 1996)
1he ?ln ?ang 8uLLerfly by valenLln Chu (uLnam 1993)
Appendlx C
344
LcsLasy 1hrough 1anLra by !ohn Mumford (Llewellyn ubllcaLlons 1988)
Peallng Love 1hrough 1he 1ao CulLlvaLlng lemale Sex Lnergy and 1aolsL SecreLs of Love
and CulLlvaLlng Male Sexual Lnergy by ManLak Chla (Peallng 1ao 8ooks 1991 and
1984)
1he CompleLe ldloL's Culde Lo Lhe kama SuLra by !ohanlna Wlkoff and ueborah 8omalne
(Alpha 8ooks 2000)
8elaLed 8ooks on 1anLra and Peallng
lnLroducLlon Lo 1anLra A vlslon of 1oLallLy by Lama ?eshe (Wlsdom ubllcaLlons1987)
1ools for 1anLra by Parlsh !oharl (uenslLy 8ooks 1986)
SecreLs of WesLern 1anLra 1he SexuallLy of Lhe Mlddle aLh by ChrlsLopher S PyaLLe
hu (new lalcon ubllcaLlons 1989)
1he 1ao and 1he 1ree of Llfe Alchemlcal and Sexual MysLerles of Lhe LasL and WesL by
Lrlc SLeven ?udelov (Llewellyn ubllcaLlons 1996)
1he 1anLra Lxperlence ulscourse on Lhe 8oyal Song of Saraha and 1anLrlc 1ransformaLlon
lurLher ulscourses on Lhe 8oyal Song of Saraha by Csho (8ebel ubllshlng Pouse vL
LLd 1978)
1amang Shamans by Larry eLers (nlvala 1998)
Sex
CeneraLlon Sex by ur !udy kurlansky (Parper 1996)
1he CllLoral 1ruLh 1he SecreL World aL ?our llngerLlps by 8ebecca Chalker (Seven SLorles
ress 2000)
Sex for Cne by 8eLLy uodsen (Parmony 8ooks 1987)
lorbldden ArL 1he World of LroLlca and vlslons of LroLlca by Mlss naoml (Schlffer
8ooks 1998 2000)
1he ArL of Arousal by ur 8uLh WesLhelmer (ArLabras 1997)
8elaLlonshlps
1he CompleLe ldloL's Culde Lo a PealLhy 8elaLlonshlp by ur !udy kurlansky (Alpha 2001)
1he CompleLe ldloL's Culde Lo uaLlng by ur !udy kurlansky (Alpha 1999)
1he new hyslcs of Love 1he ower of Mlnd and SplrlL ln 8elaLlonshlps (audlocasseLLe
program) by Penry Crayson (Sounds 1rue lnc 2000)
343
1anLrlc 1ools
CeLLlng 1ogeLher and SLaylng 1ogeLher Solvlng Lhe MysLery of Marrlage by Wllllam Classer
Mu and Carleen Classer (ParperColllns lnc 2000)
1he unlmaglnable Llfe by kenny and !ulla Logglns (Morrow Wllllam and Co 1998)
Muslc
Pere are some Cus LhaL are excellenL for medlLaLlon massage and lovemaklng
personal favorlLes LhaL are regularly ln my Cu changer
Sex 'n' vloleLs and Songs of Lhe LarLhschlld
!alla LarLhschlld
8083734284
Lmall [alla[LarLhschlldcom
Web slLe wwwLarLhschlldcom
8eauLlful songs abouL learnlng how Lo love oneself be honored by a beloved and
care for Lhe planeL
Muslc Lo ulsappear ln ll 1he 1anLrlc Wave 1he Calllng
8aphael and kuLlra
kahua Pawallan lnsLlLuLe LLC
18773248230 or 8083726006
Lmall lnfo[kahualnsLlLuLecom
Web slLe wwwkahualnsLlLuLecom
8lLuallsLlc muslc and pulsaLlng chanLs LhaL puLs you ln splrlLual love mood or relaxed
or undulaLory oceanlc Lrance sLaLes lnsLrumenLal or volce Lracks gulde you Lo an ecsLaLlc
experlence
1rance 8ones Lndless Wave
Cabrlelle 8oLh
1he Movlng CenLer and 8aven 8ecordlng
180076 8AvLn or 2127601381
Lmall ravenrec[anlxcom
Web slLe wwwgabrlelleroLhcom
An exLenslve llbrary of selecLlons of Lrance dance and urban prlmlLlve muslc for danclng
and lnsplrlng Lhe soul movlng splrlL and acLlvaLlng ecsLasy unlversal rhyLhms
free Lhe body and Lhe mlnd also used ln 8oLh's popular workshops
!ourney lnLo Love 8eLurn and Pldden WaLers/Sacred Cround
Sophla
lvory Moon 8ecordlngs
18003138313
rofound yeL slmple songs LhaL lead Lo deep 1anLrlc embrace
SplrlL of Love
Awakenlng PearL roducLlons
4098337327
CollecLlon of lnsplrlng songs LhaL Louch our hearL
Appendlx C
346
Sounds 1rue
Web slLe wwwsoundsLruecom
Muslc Lo puL you ln Lhe mood for love
Cpenlng Lo Love
8oberL lrey
8187840110
Lmall 8oberL[scaredLanLracom
Web slLe wwwsacredLanLracom
ChanLs LhaL lnsplre lovlng feellngs
LcsLaLlca 1 A Sound 1rack for Lovers Love's Peallng 1ouch 8lver of 8omance
aul 8amana uas
uMuslc lnc
4134991769
rlmal playful passlonaLe or percusslve sound Lrack for love experlence LhaL goes
Lhrough seven dlfferenL sensual soundscapes Lo a bllssful compleLlon
8ruch vlolln ConcerL no 1 and 8rahms vlolln ConcerLo Cp 77
8y Pldeko udagawa
London Symphony CrchesLra
CPAnuC8S 8ecords LLd
Web slLe wwwamazoncom
Classlcal muslc faclllLaLlng romance
1he Lssence
ueva remal
WhlLe Swan Muslc
3034949060
Lmall swan[neLonecom
Web slLe wwwmlLendevapremalcom
A deflnlLlve chanL album
A ClfL of Love ueepak and lrlends wlLh Lhe Love oems of 8uml
8uml
raSa Muslc
Lmall aum[rasamuslccom
Web slLe wwwrasamuslccom
8eclLaLlons seL Lo muslc Lo creaLe Lhe splrlL of ecsLaLlc love
lnner !ourney
MeLamuslc
lnLersLaLe lndusLrles lnc
8042638692
Lmall lnLersLaLe[PemlSynccom
Web slLe wwwPemlSynccom
LLhereal sounds and a speclal meLhod of synchronlzlng braln spheres Lo relax and
glve free relgn Lo Lhe lmaglnaLlon
347
1anLrlc 1ools
SplrlLual LnvlronmenL 1anLra
Anugama
MelsLerslnger Muslc uSA lnc nlghLlngale 8ecords
3207339382
lax 3207228293
Lmall melsLerslngerus[1he8lvercom
Web slLe wwwmelsLerslngercom
1he flrsL half ls more energlzlng and sexually sLlmulaLlng 1he second half sLlmulaLes
Lhe femlnlne and medlLaLlve slde of sexual energy
Songs Lo Shlva
vyaas PousLon and Mark kelso
1he Amerlcan SanskrlL lnsLlLuLe
8439868632
CollecLlon of anclenL SanskrlL songs Lo Shlva Lhe greaL god
C8llCarmlna 8urana
SalnL Louls Symphony CrchesLra and Chorus
8MC Muslc
Web slLe wwwamazoncom
Classlc operaLlc plece evoklng dynamlc moods
Craceful assages A Companlon for Llvlng and uylng
Mlchael SLlllwaLer
4134920123
Lmall muslc[lnnerharmonycom
Web slLe wwwlnnerharmonycom
Peallng muslc wlLh conLemporary chanL and lnLulLlve slnglng Lo evoke Lhe preclousness
of llfe
Lnhanclng Sensual leasure and many oLher selecLlons
SLeven Palpern
Sound Wave 8x/LS roducLlons
18009090707
Web slLe wwwsLevenhalperncom
SLlmulaLes passlon wlLh subllmlnal afflrmaLlons
Chakra ChanLs
!onaLhan Coldman LLherean Muslc
18883843732
Web slLe wwwLLhereancom
8esonaLes and allgns energy cenLers of Lhe body wlLh sounds deslgned Lo balance Lhe
physlcal emoLlonal menLal and splrlLual bodles
Appendlx C
348
SplrlL ln Sound ChanL Lhe 8esL of World ChanL
8oberL Cass
Sprlng Plll Muslc
3039381188
1radlLlonal and conLemporary chanL from Lhe world's greaLesL chanL arLlsLs
Companlon Lo Cass's book ChanLlng ulscoverlng SplrlL ln Sound (8roadway 8ooks)
1anLrlc SexuallLy
1he Mlnd 8ody and Soul serles
new World Muslc lnc
18007710987
laclllLaLes and enhances LanLrlc pracLlce especlally ecsLaLlc breaLhlng
vldeos
Many of Lhese vldeos are geared Loward LanLrlc sex oLhers are geared Loward sexuallLy
ln general
kama SuLra 1anLra and 1ao PoL Sex ln LroLlc ArL 1he LcsLasy of LxoLlc Sex 1he Amazlng
C SpoL and lemale L[aculaLlon and many oLhers
Access lnsLrucLlonal Medla (AlM)
16161 venLura 8lvd SulLe M8 328
Lnclno CA 91436
18007720708
Web slLe wwwsexuallnLlmacycom
A wlde varleLy of experLly produced vldeos some speclflcally geared Loward LanLrlc
sex pracLlces wlLh deLalled lnsLrucLlons and demonsLraLlons LhaL are excellenL howLo
guldes 8y sexologlsL Mlchael erry
SecreLs of lemale Sexual LcsLasy
Charles and Carollne Mulr
Source School of 1anLra
C 8ox 69
ala Pl 96779
8083728364
lax 8083728622
Lmall LanLra[maulgaLewaycom
Web slLe wwwsourceLanLracom
ueplcLs sexual lovlng wlLh exqulslLe arL and orlglnal muslc showlng secreLs of eroLlc
klsslng and Louch facLs abouL male e[aculaLory conLrol female sacred spoL (C spoL)
massage and female e[aculaLlon
lnLlmaLe SecreLs of Sex and SplrlL
8y Marlllna and aul Sllbey
Sexually expllclL and enLerLalnlng vldeo shows a varleLy of ways Lo enhance experlenclng
your body as a vlbranL Lemple of dlvlne energy
349
1anLrlc 1ools
kama SuLra 1he ArL of Maklng Love and kama SuLra ll
enLhouse
A vlslon
73 8ockefeller laza
new ?ork n? 10019
8eauLlfully shoL vldeos wlLh expllclL demonsLraLlons of poslLlons and anclenL love arLs
by modernday couples
SluLs and Coddesses vldeo Workshop Pow Lo 8e a Sex Coddess ln 101 Lasy SLeps
8y Annle Sprlnkle
8eaLLy/Sprlnkle 1992
CaLes of Peck
18002138170
Web slLe wwwgaLesofheckcom
A workshop for women on Lape showlng LanLrlc and 1aolsL prlnclples along wlLh
very advanced acLlvlLles such as group masLurbaLlon shavlng and gender play
vldeo orLralL of a Woman's SexuallLy Semlnar and vlva La vulva
8eLLy uodson roducLlons
C 8ox 1933
Murray Plll
new ?ork n? 10136
2126794240
Web slLe wwwbeLLydodsoncom
SexuallLy ploneer shows women how Lo reclalm Lhelr eroLlc bodles and ellmlnaLe
body shame 1eaches selflovlng ln a group semlnar comblned wlLh breaLhwork and
helghLened awareness of body sensaLlons Lo lncrease pleasure
8eLLer Sex vldeo serles
1he Slnclalr lnsLlLuLe
C 8ox 8863
Chapel Plll nC 27313
18009330888
Web slLe wwwlnLlmacylnsLlLuLecom or wwwsexedvldeocom
An exLenslve llbrary of vldeos on sexual Loplcs from fanLasy and alds Lo advanced
lovemaklng Lechnlques
1he SecreLs of Sacred Sex
Peallng ArLs
18002 LlvlnC
vldeo LhaL shows LanLrlc lovemaklng wlLh commenLary by experLs
Appendlx C
330
Sensual Lscape urban PeaL and oLher LlLles
lemme roducLlons
302 Meadowland urlve
Plllsborough nC 27278
1800436LCvL (orders caLalogs) 18884166130 (wholesale orders)
Web slLe wwwroyallecom
A llbrary of eroLlc vldeos from a woman's perspecLlve LhaL has eroLlc as well as romanLlc
Lhemes
Caballero vldeos
Lspeclally selecLlons of Andrew 8lake
CaLalogs and ClfLs
MosL LanLra slLes and Leachers also offer varlous lLems for sale so check Appendlx 8
Workshops Web SlLes 1eachers and 1anLra CommunlLles" Pere are some examples
of speclal slLes for lLems relaLed Lo LanLra
Lve's Carden
119 WesL 37Lh SLreeL
new ?ork n? 10019
18008483837
Lmall hunLress[evesgardencom
Web slLe wwwevesgardencom
An exLenslve caLalog of vldeos books olls vlbraLors cloLhlng and oLher alds all
meanL Lo empower women and celebraLe female sexuallLy Lhe bouLlque ln new ?ork
offers a dlscreeL place for men and women Lo shop
1aylor Soma Lamborne
necLar roducLs Sensual 1ools for 1anLra
4930 Coronado Avenue SulLe l
San ulego CA 92107
6192266969
Lmall necLarprod[earLhllnkcom
Web slLe wwwLovenecLarcom
8ouLlque of LanLrlc alds and glfLs
Lsensuals
180091An18A
Lmall esensuals[LanLracom
Web slLe wwwLanLracom
robably Lhe mosL exLenslve clearlnghouse and selecLlon of all lLems relevanL Lo
LanLra and LanLrlc pracLlce
331
1anLrlc 1ools
Pouse C'Chlcks
2213 8 MarkeL SLreeL
San lranclsco CA 94144
4138619849
lax (413) 6263049
Lmall uorrle[houseochlckscom
Web slLe wwwhouseochlckscom
vulva puppeLs of sllk velveL and gems made Lo order ($200)
1anLra Coddess/Cod Wear
Sllk Angel roducLlons
8083731124
Speclalorder handpalnLed sllk sarongs ($90$130) wlLh deslgns feaLurlng mermalds
lnslde a unlcorn lavender hlblscus flowers or ocean scene wlLh dolphlns sllk chlffon
[ackeLs velveL dresses
Sacred and LroLlc ArL
Prana !anLo
10 WaLerslde Lane
new alLz n? 12361
8436388319
Lmall h[[hrana[anLocom
Web slLe wwwhrana[anLocom
lllusLraLlons graphlcs palnLlngs posLers of sacred arL and myLh folk and falry Lales ln
hlsLorlcal culLural or fanLasy sLyle goddesses hlsLorlcal scenes lovers Also goddess
oracle card seL
aul PeussensLamm
9494972708
Lmall hearLcenLer[mandalascom
Web slLe wwwmandalascom
CusLom palnLlngs of mandalas commlssloned arL of male and female unlons surrounded
by geomeLrlc flgures and naLure forms wlLh ruby and crysLal sLones Also
runs workshops ln Callfornla and around Lhe world on ulscoverlng ?our Soul
Mandala" Lo connecL wlLh your lnner arLlsL" and explore Lhe soul
Meadow
108 Sheldon 8oad
lne 8ush n? 123663318
8437444847
lax 8437444832
lllusLraLlons palnLlngs sculpLures on many sub[ecLs lncludlng eroLlclsm ueveloplng
Woodrock SancLuary" arL park a heallng cenLer and wlldllfe sancLuary
Appendlx C
332
Al Pughes
2123309070
new ?orkbased lllusLraLor speclallzlng ln fashlon chlldren's books and celebrlLy
carlcaLures
A
Abuse heallng cycles
322323
acLlvaLlon 27
adornmenLs 199
advanced alds 212213
advanced pracLlce
201202
advanced alds
212213
advanced Lunlng ln 210
advanced vlsuallzaLlon
209
base chakra pleasurlng
211212
delLy yoga 210211
mudras 209
passlon poslLlons and
acLs 206209
snake dance 203204
whlLe LanLra Lwosomes
204206
aeroblcs 68
AlL (anLerlor fornlx erogenous)
zone 169
affalrs
handllng 276279
reasons for 277
afflrmaLlons 123
sex 188189
afLerplay 104
age
changes faclng
283286
empLy nesL syndrome
deallng wlLh 288
menopause deallng wlLh
283286
mldllfe crlses deallng
wlLh 286287
youLhfulness malnLalnlng
283292
Aghora 31
agreemenLs honorlng 274
alds (sex) 212213
alr yoga 7473
Al'LaL 30
alchemlcal marrlages 298
alcohol avoldlng
323324
allgnmenL and alolnmenL
269
allowlng pleasure 11
alphabeL orgasms
168169
alLars bulldlng 90
alLernaLe nosLrll breaLhlng
114
Amazlng C SpoL and lemale
L[aculaLlon 1he 233
amblance
conslderaLlons 87
sex preparlng 8890
Amerlcan le 2 238
amrlLa flow 284
amrlLa 188
Anand MargoL 236
AnclenL SecreLs of Sexual
LcsLasy for Modern Lovers
236
androgyny 23
anger dlffuslng 110111
anlmals LanLrlc
300301
anLerlor fornlx erogenous
(AlL) zone 169
anywherelnyourbody
orgasms 170
appearance conslderaLlons
82 84
Arm and Pammer llrsL
lmpresslon SLudy" 84
aromaLherapy 101
aromaLlc room olls 88
ArL of Sexual Maglc 1he 197
arLlflclal hlghs avoldlng
323324
aLLachmenL overcomlng
113116
aLLlre
dresslng up 8687
gods and goddesses 199
LanLrlc cloLhes 86
Avlnasha 8odhl 37 203
Awakenlng PearL SplrlL of
Love 230
8
8alrab (Shlva) 46
balanclng male/female energles
111113
bandhas 67
211212
baLhrooms llghLlng sofLenlng
84
baLhs
baLhlng hlm 136
muslc 84
rlLuals 8486
sharlng 84
Laklng 84
LradlLlons 83
waLer [eLs 86
lndex
334
baLLles relaLlonshlp conLrols
113
beards shavlng your parLner's
84
bedroom bodybulldlng
179180
beds
maLLresses 89
preparlng 89
sexual assoclaLlons 89
sheeLs 89
belly danclng 192
belly hold (bandhas) 67
beloved parLners 24
8enzal 1ennyo 49
8erkowlLz 8ob 239
blndls 199
bllss 9396
8llss 6 238
bllss breaLhlng 33
blocks (mlnd) clearlng 117
body
abuslng 62
advanced exploraLlon
103104
afflrmaLlons 62
appreclaLlng yours 293
homeplay 6263
lefL slde yln represenLaLlon
22
lovlng 6263
rlghL slde yang represenLaLlon
22
Laklng care of 27
body dusL (kama SuLra) 200
books resources 199
8ourke 8rlan 246
8rahma (Plndu Cod) 46
breaLhlng 29
bllss breaLhlng 33
chakras 3337
clrculaLlng breaLhlng 33
clear channels 37
cobras 36
compleLe breaLhlng 34
ecsLaLlc breaLhlng 33
energy synchronlzlng 96
exerclses 3436
flre breaLhlng 34
hearL raLe lncreaslng 73
lncorrecLly 3031
lama breaLhlng 7879
nosLrll breaLhlng 113
parLner pelvlc passlon
breaLhlng 36
pracLlclng 30
reclprocal breaLhlng 34
synchronlzlng 34
LransmuLaLlon breaLhlng
134133
yawnlng 30
8rlLLon aLLl 233
8uddhlsm 308
bulldlng alLars 90
8uller CarlLon ! 221
8urnlng Man fesLlval
(nevada) 36
C
Cadell Ava 164
calllng on women
123124
calmlng energy 74
cancer paLlenLs LanLra
classes 338
candles uslng for amblance
88
CarLer SLeve and LoklLa 104
caL pose yoga 66
ceremonles (LanLrlc marrlage)
feasLs 239
guesL parLlclpaLlon 260
marrlage 238239
muslc 239
speclal ceremonles
260269
chakras 3133
211212
breaLhlng 3337
chakra Lhumps performlng
76
energy cenLers 37
evaluaLlon charL 32
examlnlng 62
soundlng LanLrlc muslc
232233
Chalker 8ebecca 129
chanLs 233
male/female enegy balanclng
114
Cm Mane adme Pum
39
Chao Mae 1upLlm 30
cheaLlng See affalrs 277
chemlcals
endorphlns 6 172
oxyLocln 6 172
phenyleLhlyamanlme 7
Chla ManLak 8 209
Chopra ueepak 323
clrcllng couple celebraLlon
173
clrculaLlng breaLhlng 33
clear channels breaLhlng
37
clearlng orgasms
162163
CllLoral 1ruLh 1he 129
cllLorlses (pearls) 26 64
cloLhlng
dresslng up 8687
gods and goddesses 199
LanLrlc cloLhes 86
cobra poses
breaLhlng 36
yoga 66
coccyx bone (chakra energy
cenLer) 37
Cocoon 163
college sLudenLs LanLra
workshops 288
colors
male/female 113
LanLra 6366
333
lndex
commlLmenL LanLrlc sex
1617
communlcaLlon pracLlclng
202
compleLe breaLhlng 34
CompleLe ldloL's Culde Lo a
PealLhy 8elaLlonshlp 1he
112
CompleLe ldloL's Culde Lo
uaLlng 1he 112
connecLlng 243
consclous fllrLlng 243
Consclous Lovlng workshop
123
conLrol relaLlonshlps baLLles
over 113
ConversaLlons wlLh Lhe
Coddess 8eveallng Lhe
ulvlne ower WlLhln ?ou 30
corkscrew Lechnlque (massage)
140
cosmorgasms 162
cosLs workshops 313
counLerparLs gods/
goddesses 3334
couple cobras pose 178
couple connecL pose 174
couple cuddle pose 179
Cranes wlLh necks
lnLerLwlned 23
crlLlclsms WesLern revlLallzaLlon
10
crysLal onyx massage eggs
(sex Loy) 197
crysLal wands (sex Loy) 198
Cybele 31
cyberLanLra 293293
u
uahl !ullana 341
dances
belly danclng 192
ecsLaLlc dance 192
hand dance 191
performlng 76
snake danclng
203204
Suflsh 79
Lemple dance 193
danclng 173
lmporLance of
189190
mlrrors 190191
dangllng duos pose 176177
uas aul 8amana 341
daLes LanLra daLes golng
ouL on 93
deaLhs parLners deallng
wlLh 288
dedlcaLlons LanLrlc marrlage
ceremonles 239
delLles See gods and goddesses
delLy yoga 210211
delaylng e[aculaLlons
146147
parLner help 133136
sexual kung fu
132133
Lechnlque comparlsons
133134
Lechnlques 131132
134133
deslre
expresslng 26
sex lncreaslng 73
desperaLlon overcomlng
113116
dlmmers (llghLlng) 88
dlsabled people
LanLra realLlonshlps
299300
LanLra Web slLe for 338
dlverslLy promoLlng
324323
uouble Love 8lasLs 127
uouglas nlk 236
dragon goddess enflamlng
207208
dresslng up 8687
drugs avoldlng 323324
uuphlney 8undy 179
uurga 48
uynamlc MedlLaLlon 37
L
ears sLlmulaLlng 101
earLh Lo sky saluLes 204
LarLhschlld !alla 236
Sex 'n' vloleLs 231
eaLlng healLhy 70
LcsLasy of LxoLlc Sex 1he !oys
of 1oLal Sexual LcsLasy 1he
233
ecsLaLlc breaLhlng 33
ecsLaLlc dance 192
LgypL gods 33
Lhmka Creg 102
e[aculaLlons
delaylng 146147
expecLaLlons
149130
parLner help
133136
sexual kung fu
132133
Lechnlques 131134
134133
fasL reasons for
149130
ln[aculaLlon 132
male sexual response
cycles 131
mechanlcs of 130
orgasms compared 130
emoLlons
See also speclflc emoLlons
overcomlng 117
releases 108109
empaLhy 113
empLy nesL syndrome deallng
wlLh 288
Lmpusae 30
336
endorphlns 6 172
energeLlcs 31
energy
chakras 3133
energy cenLers 37
connecLlng energy cenLers
166167
drawlng massage 138
energy boosLer checkllsL
279
enLrances 24
LxLernal 8elaLlonshlp
Lnergy 277
LxLra 8elaLlonshlp
Lnergy 277
gods/goddesses drawlng
from 33
lncreaslng 73
chakra Lhumps 76
danclng 76
fanLaslzlng 78
freelng your mlnd 78
lama breaLhlng
7879
pelvlc LhrusLs 77
sacrum Laps 7376
shakLl shakes 78
sLreamlng 76
levels raLlng 74
love energy sendlng 322
male/female balanclng
111113
n8L (new 8elaLlonshlp
Lnergy) 277
relaxlng 74
sexual 24
synchronlzlng 9699
Lragedles sendlng
320321
energy boosLer checkllsL
279
energy paLhways 7
LpsLeln uonald 70
Lrzull 30
exclLemenL sLage (male sexual
response cycle) 131
exerclses
bedroom bodybulldlng
179180
breaLhlng 3436
danclng 173
belly danclng 192
ecsLaLlc dance 192
hand dance 191
snake danclng
203204
Lemple dance 193
love muscle exerclses 172
parLners 179181
parLner pelvlc LhrusLs
172173
pass up Lhe pass exerclse
246
pubococcygeal muscles
68
sLeel ball exerclse 243
workouLs 68
vldeos 237
yogaboxlng 181183
exploraLlon bodles
advanced exploraLlon
103104
LxLernal 8elaLlonshlp
Lnergy 277
LxLra 8elaLlonshlp Lnergy
277
eye gazlng energy synchronlzlng
9798
eyes sLlmulaLlng 100
l
faces sLlmulaLlng 100
fanLasles
channellng 12
performlng 78
fears faclng 123
feasLs LanLrlc marrlage ceremonles
239
female/male energles balanclng
111113
females
calllng on 123124
homosexual relaLlonshlps
298
[ulcyness 188
pleaslng 121131
sexual heallng
217219
yln represenLaLlon 2022
ferLlllLy fesLlvals !apan
3336
fesLlvals gods/goddesses
3337
flgurlnes (gods and goddesses)
199
llneberg SLeven 289
flngernalls keeplng clean
82
flre breaLhlng 34
llsher Lexl 69
fllrLlng consclous fllrLlng
243
llorlan Wllllam 192
food
healLhy 70
LanLrlc marrlage ceremonles
239
lorbldden ArL 199
lree Llke a uolphln 289
freelng your mlnd 78
lrey 8oberL 104 109
Cpenlng Lo Love 231
frlend parLlclpaLlon LanLrlc
marrlage ceremonles 260
full sLop Lechnlque 208
C
C spoLs 169
Cala 30
games (sex) 194193
CaLe feasLs 193
gaLherlngs 316
gods/goddesses 3337
gays LanLra classes
297298
337
lndex
genlLals
descrlblng 6363
examlnlng 62
Lermlnology 2326
gerlaLrlcs LanLrlc sex
284283
glfLs (sex) 199200
flndlng 200
global communlLy (LanLra)
320321
god areas pleaslng 141
goddess bags preparlng 133
goddess space pleasurlng
130
goddesses 4633
Al'LaL 30
aLLlre 199
8enzal 1ennyo 49
Cybele 31
dragon goddesses
enflamlng 207208
uurga 48
Lmpusae 30
Lnergy drawlng from 33
Lrzull 30
fesLlvals and gaLherlngs
3337
flgurlnes and sLaLues 199
Cala 30
gods counLerparLs 3334
Creece 30
Plndu 48
kall 49
Lakshml 48
Maeve 30
Mboze 30
mlddle easL 30
modernday flgures 33
MoLher Maul 30
near easL 31
Cdude 30
ele 30
Cadesh 30
8lannon 30
8uLh 30
SaraswaLl 49
Sheklnah 30
1apLun 30
1ara 48
wlLhln 34
gods 4633
Aghora 31
aLLlre 199
LgypL 33
energy drawlng from 33
fesLlvals and gaLherlngs
3337
flgurlnes and sLaLues 199
goddesses counLerparLs
3334
Creece 31
Plndu 31
!apan 33
manlfesLaLlons 46
modernday flgures 33
Musurlkaml 33
Cslrls 33
8a 33
Shlva 31
wlLhln 34
Zeus 32
gods/goddesses
pasL llfe connecLlons 213
roles lnLegraLlng
4443
granLlng permlsslon sex 26
grasplng pleasurable 11
Creece gods/goddesses
3031
Creenberg ulane 324
growLh sharlng ln 273
guesL parLlclpaLlon LanLrlc
marrlage ceremonles 260
guldes
flndlng 303309
lmporLance of
304303
Csha 310
Lralnlngs 310311
CuLenberg SLeve 163
P
halr washlng 84
hand danclng 191
Pandlers Laurle 193
hands sLlmulaLlng 101
harmonlc convergence 323
head llfLs yoga 66
heady Lrlp Lechnlque (massage)
140
healers 311312
heallng 6
abuse 322323
lllnesses 324
parenLs 300
heallng See sexual heallng
hearL raLe lncreaslng
breaLhlng 73
hearLs holdlng 9899
hermaphrodlLes 23
PeussensLamm aul 40
hlgher selves 10
Plll !ohn 323
Plndu gods/goddesses 48
31 308
Plndu flre ceremonles 267
holdlng hearLs 9899
homeplay 6263
homosexuals LanLra workshops
297298
hooklng up 243
PoL Sex ln LroLlc ArL 199
233
Pow 1o Love A nlce Cuy 246
hyglene conslderaLlons 82
l
lllnesses heallng 324
lnbeLween spoLs 132
lncense 88
lnfldellLy fanLasles channellng
12
338
lnhlblLlons relaxaLlon of 13
lnlLlaLe SecreLs of Sex and
SplrlL Pow Lo Worshlp Lach
CLher ln 8ed 236
ln[aculaLlon 132
lnner fluLes 33
lnner guldance 102
lnner smlle 38
lnLenLlons
lovemaklng 92
seLLlng 122
lnLerneL
cyberLanLra 293293
global communlLy 320
resources 238239
lshLar 47
!
!acobson klrby 203 308
!agger Chrls 239
!apan
ferLlllLy fesLlvals
3336
gods 33
!avrll 1anLrlka 190
!ewel ln Lhe LoLus 37
[ewelry 199
!ohnson aLrlcla
(veenanand) 98
!ourney lnLo Love 230
!oys of Lveryday 8lLuals 1he
286
[ulcyness women 188
k
kabazzah 208
kall 49
kama SuLra 23
kama SuLra body dusL 200
kama SuLra ll 1he ArL of
Maklng Love 236
kama SuLra serles vldeos
233236
kareeza 134
klvln meLhod 208
kunda gland (chakra energy
cenLer) 37
kundallnl energy 37
snake danclng 204
kundallnl glands 64
L
labels
genlLals 2326
parLners 24
ladder Lechnlque (e[aculaLlon
conLrol) 132
Lakshml 48
lama breaLhlng performlng
7879
Lamborne 1aylor 197
laughLer lmporLance of 189
lefL slde (body) yln represenLaLlon
22
lesblans LanLra relaLlonshlps
298
levels
energy raLlng 74
sex drlves excelllng 163
llghLlng
baLhrooms sofLer 84
candles 88
dlmmers 88
llmblc sysLem 38
llngam (penls) 26
llngam love sLrokes 138
llngam mudras Lechnlque
(massage) 140
llon's play exerclse 110
Llvlng ln 8llss 333
love sex lmporLance of
160
love arrow show exerclse
103
love muscle exerclses 63
172
love rlLuals honorlng 9092
love Loys 89
lovers Lable pose 178
Lovlng More magazlne 277
lubrlcanLs 198
M
Maeve 30
maglc (sex) 196197
malLhuna love rlLual 203
male sexual response cycles
sLages 131
male/female energles balanclng
111113
males
females pleaslng
121131
gays 297298
pleaslng nlghLs of pleasure
134144
sexual heallng 219
yang represenLaLlon
2022
mandalas 40 199
manlfesLaLlons gods 46
manLra deslgns 199
manLras 39
marrlage ceremonles
(LanLrlc) 238239
feasLs 239
guesL parLlclpaLlon 260
muslc 239
speclal ceremonles
260269
massage 140
corkscrew Lechnlque 140
heady Lrlp Lechnlque 140
llngam mudras Lechnlque
140
naLural rabblL fur massage
mlLLs 198
palmlng Lhe crown Lechnlque
140
sexual energy drawlng
138
339
lndex
massage mlLLs 198
masLurbaLlon 63
maLLresses beds 89
Mboze 30
medlLaLlon research beneflLs
of 7
medulla oblongaLa 37
megaorgasms 162163
menopause deallng wlLh
283286
Mlchaels Mark
(umeshanand) 98
mlcro movemenLs 202
mldllfe crlses deallng wlLh
286287
mlnd
blocks clearlng 117
freelng 78
mlndfulness 36
mlrrors danclng
190191
mlsconcepLlons LanLra 3
1112
modernday gods/goddesses
33
Money Sex ower and ?ou
1ransformlng ?our Lgo 102
mornlng blesslngs 109
MoLher Maul 30
mouLhs sLlmulaLlng 100
movles 238239
mudras 209
Mulr Charles 109
MukLananda 8
mulLlple orgasms 163
muslc
baLhs 84
chooslng 230
lovemaklng 89
resources 346349
239
LanLrlc muslc
appreclaLlng 232
chakra evocaLlon
232233
chanLs 233
chooslng 229231
recommendaLlons 230
Lhemes 231232
Muslc Lo ulsappear ln 231
Musurlkaml 33
myLhs LanLra 1112
n
names women changlng
49
naLural rabblL fur massage
mlLLs 198
nesLlng 161
neLwork splnal analysls
(nSA) 69
nevada 8urnlng Man
fesLlval 36
new 8elaLlonshlp Lnergy
(n8L) 277
nlghLs of pleasure
nlghL 1 134144
nlghL 2 139143
nlghL 3 143144
nlne levels of orgasms 163
noses sLlmulaLlng 100
nosLrll breaLhlng
male/female energles balanclng
113
n8L (new 8elaLlonshlp
Lnergy) 277
nSA (neLwork splnal analysls)
69
C
obsesslons purglng 116
Cdude 30
Cm Mane adme Pum 39
oooahhh exerclse 167
oooehhh exerclse 167
ooouhhh exerclse 168
Cpenlng Lo Love 231
opposlLes
balanclng 2223
relaLlonshlps 293296
orgasm sLage (male sexual
response cycle) 131
orgasms
e[aculaLlons compared
130
nlne levels of 163
Lypes 160164
alphabeL orgasms
168169
anywherelnyourbody
orgasms 170
clearlng orgasms
162163
cosmorgasms 162
megaorgasms
162163
mulLlple orgasms 163
slmulLaneous orgasms
163
sLock markeL orgasms
164
LanLrlc orgasms
163164
11Cs 164
valley orgasms 164
Csho 9 37 78 310
Csho lnLernaLlonal 78
Cslrls 33
overdependence overcomlng
113116
oxyLocln 6 172

paclng wlndows 246
palnLlng Loenalls 84
palnLlngs 199
palmlng Lhe crown Lechnlque
(massage) 140
panlc purglng 116
parenLs heallng relaLlonshlps
300
360
pareos 86
parLner passlon pods 99
parLner pelvlc passlon
breaLhlng 36
parLner pelvlc LhrusLs
172173
parLner pelvlc supporLs
176177
arLner Sexual 8evlew 113
parLners
asklng for help 80
aLLracLlng 249233
beloved 24
breaklng up wlLh
273276
deaLh of deallng wlLh
288
exerclslng wlLh
179181
maklng Llme for
109110
meeLlng 243233
persuadlng 272274
relaxlng 123127
worshlpplng 46
pass up Lhe pass exerclse
246
passlon pods 99
pearls (cllLorls) 26
earls of uellghL 212
ele 30
pelvlc LhrusLs 77
172173
pelvls hold (bandhas) 67
penlses Lerms 26
permlsslon sex granLlng 26
erry Mlchael 233
peLs LanLra for 300301
lZ (posLerlor fornlx zone)
169
phenyleLhlyamanlme 7
plLulLary glands 37
planLs LanLra 301
plaLeau sLage (male sexual
response cycle) 131
playlng sex 188
danclng 189191
games 194193
lmporLance of 188
laughLer 189
sensuous eaLlng
193194
sex glfLs 199200
sex maglc 196197
Loys 197199
playshops 316
pleasure allowlng 11
pleasure promlse coupons
200
pledges LanLrlc sex
1617
poslLlons
advanced alds
212213
advanced passlon poslLlons
and acLs 206209
209
211212
delLy yoga 210211
mudras 209
polarlLles balanclng
2223
polymorous relaLlonshlps
276
pompolr 198
poses yoga
advanced alds
212213
advanced passlon poslLlons
and acLs 206209
209
advanced whlLe LanLra
Lwosome 204206
211212
clrcllng couple celebraLlons
173
couple cobras 178
couple connecL 174
couple cuddle 179
dangllng duos
176177
delLy yoga 210211
lovers Lable 178
mudras 209
parLner pelvls supporLs
176177
squaL Lo sLand supporL
173176
poslLlons
parLner passlon pods 99
spoons poslLlon 129
yab yum 2324
yoga 6667
posLerlor fornlx zone (lZ)
169
pracLlce
advanced pracLlce
201202
advanced alds
212213
advanced Lunlng ln
210
209
211212
delLy yoga 210211
mudras 209
passlon poslLlons and
acLs 206209
snake dance
203204
204206
rlLuals 202
sharlng 203
snake danclng
203204
361
lndex
pracLlces (Leachlng) sLarLlng
your own
312313
pracLlclng communlcaLlon
202
pracLlLloners 311312
prana 100
pubococcygeal muscles
sLrengLhenlng 68
C
Cadesh 30
Clgong 68
qulckles (sex) 146149
8
8a 33
rabblL fur massage mlLLs
198
radlo shows LanLrlc relaLed
238239
8aphael and kuLrlna Muslc
Lo ulsappear ln 231
raLlng energy levels 74
readlness LanLrlc sex 1316
8eal Sex 238
relaLlonshlps energy boosLer
checkllsL 279
reblrLhlng 116
reclprocal breaLhlng 34
red 63
relaLlonshlps
affalrs handllng
276279
agreemenLs honorlng
274
conLrol baLLles over 113
cyberLanLra 293293
endlng 273276
homosexuals 297298
malnLalnlng 274
obsLacles overcomlng
273
opposlLes 293296
parenLs 300
peLs 300301
planLs 301
sexual relaLlonshlps
111113
LanLrlc relaLlonshlps persuaslon
272274
Lolerance 276
relaxlng energy 74
relaxlng lnLo ecsLasy 202
relaxlng parLners
123127
rellglons 308
research medlLaLlon beneflLs
of 7
reslsLance dlssuadlng
273274
resoluLlon phase 129
resoluLlon sLage (male sexual
response cycle) 131
revlLallzaLlon LanLrlc sex
79
8lannon 30
rlghL slde (body) yang represenLaLlon
22
rlLuals
love rlLuals honorlng
9092
pracLlclng 202
238267
8lver of 8omance 231
8oles god/goddess role
lnLegraLlon 4443
romance preparlng for 124
8oLh Cabrlelle 37
Waves 231
8uLh 30
8yan Meg 163
S
Sachldananda 8
sacramenLs 89
sacred secLors 299
sacred sex 10
sacred space (femlnlne
dlvlne energy) 26
sacrederoLlc bellydances
192
sacrum (chakra energy cenLer)
37 7376
sacrums 64
SanskrlL names changlng
Lo 49
SanskrlL 1anLra 4
SaraswaLl SunyaLa 37 49
Schubach Cary 131
seallng Lhe penls (e[aculaLlon
conLrol)
132133
SecreLs of lemale Sexual
LcsLasy 1he 236
semen reLenLlon (1aolsm)
146
sensaLe focus 134
sensaLlons
sexual awareness of 102
sLlmulaLlng 99101
sensuous eaLlng
193194
separaLlon anxleLy overcomlng
111
seLLlngs
changlng 89
conslderaLlons 87
sex preparlng 8890
sex
afflrmaLlons 188189
afLerplay 104
appearance conslderaLlons
8284
deslre lncreaslng 73
energy 24
fears faclng 123
lnLenLlons 92
love lmporLance of 160
maklng Llme for 82
permlsslon granLlng 26
362
playlng 188
danclng 189191
games 194193
lmporLance of 188
laughLer 189
sensuous eaLlng
193194
sex glfLs 199200
sex maglc 196197
Loys 197199
preparlng for 124
qulckles 146149
sensaLlons awareness of
102
seLLlngs preparlng 8890
Laklng Lurns 122
283292
Sex 'n' vloleLs 231
sex drlves
levels excelllng 163
LransmuLlng 163
Sex ln Lhe ClLy 238
sex Lherapy LanLrlc sex
compared 133134
sex Loys 89
sexual energy connecLlng
energy cenLers 166167
sexual heallng 216222
abuse heallng
221222
concluslons 224223
effecLlveness 226
men 219
rules 223224
women 217219
sexual kung fu (e[aculaLlon
conLrol) 132133
sexual relaLlonshlps
111113
conLrol baLLle over 113
arLner Sexual 8evlew
113
shakLl shakes performlng
78
sharlng pracLlclng 203
shavlng beards 84
sheeLs beddlng 89
Sheklnah 30
Shlva (Plndu Cod) 46 31
Shlva ShakLl mudra exerclse
163166
shower rlLuals 8486
Sllbey aul 8amana uas
Sllbey 8lver of 8omance
231
slmulLaneous orgasms 163
slngles
aLLracLlng someone
249233
lovlng yourself
244243
meeLlng someone
243233
slLlphllla 194
SluLs and Coddesses 236
snake danclng 203204
Sophla !ourney lnLo Love
230
soul maLes flndlng
249230
speclal ceremonles LanLrlc
marrlage ceremonles
260269
splnes examlnlng 69
SplrlL of Love Awakenlng
PearL 230
splrlLual emergencles 204
sponLanelLy passlonaLe
embraces 82
spoons poslLlon 129
Sprlnkle Annle 236
173176
squeeze Lechnlque (e[aculaLlon
conLrol) 131
sLages male sexual response
cycle 131
SLamp 1erence 238
SLasslnopolous Agapl 30
sLaLe of bllss 9396
sLaLues (gods and goddesses)
199
sLeel ball exerclse 243
SLlllwaLer Mlchael 234
sLlmulaLlng senses
99101
sLock markeL orgasms 164
SLolen lnnocence 1he
AuLoblography of a LosL Soul
222
sLopsLarL Lechnlque (e[aculaLlon
conLrol) 131
sLreamlng performlng 76
sLufflng 134
Suflsh 79
superflclallLy seelng
beyond 43
sweaL rlLual 260
symbols male/female 114
synchronlzlng
breaLhlng 34
energy 9699
1
1'al Chl 68
LanLra 4
colors 6366
mlsconcepLlons of 1112
myLhs 1112
orlglns of 4
revlLallzaLlon of 79
1anLra and 1ao 1he AnclenL
and LroLlc 1echnlques for
lncredlble Sexual leasure
233
LanLra daLes golng ouL on
93
LanLra Leachers scams 12
LanLra Lrue love qulz 248
LanLrlc cloLhes 86
LanLrlc geLaways 316
feasLs 239
muslc 239260
363
lndex
speclal ceremonles
260269
LradlLlonal marrlage ceremonles
compared
238239
LanLrlc muslc
appreclaLlng 232
chakras evoklng
232233
chanLs 233
chooslng 229231
recommendaLlons 230
239
Lhemes 231232
LanLrlc orgasms 163164
LanLrlc sex 3
beneflLs of 1313
mlsconcepLlons of 3
1112
myLhs 1112
ob[ecLlves of 43
reasons for 1213
sex Lherapy compared
133134
LanLrlc sex communlLles
316
1anLrlc SexuallLy 37
LanLrlc LransformaLlon
orgasm (11C) See 11C
(LanLrlc LransformaLlon
orgasm)
LanLrlc Lrlggers flndlng 102
LanLrlc Lwosome LresLles
203206
LanLrlka 192
1anLrlka lnLernaLlonal 73
LanLrlkas 197
1ao for Women CulLlvaLlng
lemale Sexual Lnergy 209
1aolsm 308
1aolsL SecreLs of Love
CulLlvaLlng Male Sexual
Lnergy 209
1apLun 30
1ara 48
1aranLola Carla 173 204
284
Leachers
flndlng 303309
Csha 310
Lralnlngs 310311
Lechnlques lnLegraLlng 317
Leens LanLra workshops 289
LeeLh brushlng regularly 82
Lemple dance 193
Lemples LanLrlc rlLuals 37
LenmlnuLe connecLlons
109
Lermlnology
genlLals 2326
parLners 24
Lerms of endearmenL 123
LesLlcle Lug Lechnlque (e[aculaLlon
conLrol) 131
Lhangkas 199
Lhemes LanLrlc muslc
231232
LheraplsLs 311312
Lhlrd eye openlng 37
LhroaL hold (bandhas) 67
LhunderbolLs (penlses) 26
Llme maklng 109110
Loenalls palnLlng your parLner's
84
Lolerance
promoLlng 324323
relaLlonshlps 276
Louch senses sLlmulaLlng
101
Loys (sex) 197199
advanced alds
212213
flndlng 200
LradlLlonal marrlage ceremonles
LanLrlc marrlage
ceremonles compared
238239
Lragedles energy sendlng
320321
LranslLlons LanLrlc love
287288
134133
LransmuLlng sex drlves 163
1raLak (eye gazlng pracLlce)
98
Lrlggers (LanLrlc) flndlng
102
Lrue LanLrlc sex parLner qulz
248
11Cs (LanLrlc LransformaLlon
orgasms) 139 164
Lubs (baLh) waLer [eLs 86
Lunlng ln (advanced) 210
Lwln souls 230
Lwosome LresLles 203
u
ureLhral openlngs vaglnas
64
ureLhras 64
v
vaglnas (yonl) 23
cllLorlses 64
examlnlng 63
ureLhral openlngs 64
ureLhras 64
va[ra (penls) 26
valley orgasms 164
vA1 (vldeo AsslsLed
1herapy) 234
vlbraLors 199
vldeo AsslsLed 1herapy
(vA1) 234
vldeos 199 234237
general sex 237238
goddesses 236
kama SuLra serles
233236
LanLrlc sex 199
workouLs 237
vlshnu (Plndu Cod) 46
364
vlsuallzaLlon (advanced)
209
vows LanLrlc marrlage ceremonles
238
W
waLer exerclses 104
WaLsu WaLer ShlaLsu 104
Waves 231
Web slLes resources
238239
welghL llfLlng 68
Welch 1awhnee 163
WesLern revlLallzaLlon
crlLlclsms of 10
LanLrlc sex 79
When Parry MeL Sally 163
WhlLe (LanLrlc color) 63
204206
wlLnesses 39
women
calllng on 123124
homosexual relaLlonshlps
298
[ulcyness 188
names changlng 49
pleaslng 121131
sexual heallng
217219
yln represenLaLlon 2022
workouLs 68 237
workshops
cosLs 313
worshlpplng parLners 46
x?Z
x spoLs 169
yab yum 2324
yanLras 39
yawnlng 30
yln and yang (body represenLaLlons)
2022
yoga 66
alr yoga 7473
bandhas 67
caL pose 66
cobra pose 66
exerclses 179181
head llfLs 66
resLlng pose 66
poses
advanced alds
212213
advanced poslLlons
and acLs 206209
advanced Lunlng ln
210
209
advanced whlLe LanLra
Lwosome 204206
211212
clrcllng couple celebraLlon
173
couple cobras 178
couple connecL 174
couple cuddle 179
dangllng duos
176177
delLy yoga 210211
lovers Lable 178
mudras 209
parLner pelvls presses
176177
173176
yogaboxlng 181183
?oga nldra 321
yogaboxlng 181183
yonl (vaglna) 23
yonl show exerclse 103
283292
Zeus 32
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ur !udy ls an experL on relaLlonshlps sex daLlng and love as well as oLher
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1he CompleLe ldloL's Culde Lo uaLlng (Alpha 1999) LveryLhlng you need Lo know
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