RELATIONSHIPS I have realized that in any relationship, you've got to show your feelings; love for one another.

I've learnt that when your partner is in an agitated mood, just keep quiet, be c ool and respond later. I've observed that people who normally come on strong, are the ones with fewer s uccessful relationships. I've learnt that every woman likes to have her own home, since it is where she i s in Charge. She can do it up her own way to satisfy her creative instincts. I've learnt that it is important for good-looking women to differentiate between a Genuine and a flattering compliment. I've learnt that everybody likes to be asked their opinion. I've learnt that when you love a woman, you must meet her as often as possible. I've learnt that no one respects you unless you respect yourself. I've learnt that a man who believes he knows all is the biggest fool around. I feel apprehensive of women who benchmark me against their father or husband. Love is letting your beloved be what she is rather than what you'd like her to b e. I've realized that you must have, amongst your best friends, someone you've grow n up with. I've learnt that a married woman who knows you find her attractive, needs to be told just that to put her at ease. I've realized that you might not always marry the person you love. True love, is being there, willing to help, without expecting something in return. I've realized that perfectionists tend to be more critical and judgmental of oth ers. Having married a woman, it's better not to worry about her past as long both of you are enjoying post-marital bliss.

I've learnt that one way of disarming a person is to say 'Help me understand'. I've learnt that a partner must help you leverage your strengths and overcome yo ur weaknesses. While dealing with people there would be some who criticize you, genuinely or to protect their own interests. Believe in yourself, internalize the criticism, ch ange as much as you are happy with. Always stand up for what you believe in or e lse you would lose self-esteem. Do not try and change yourself beyond a point, o therwise you would be unhappy always trying to project yourself as something you are not. I've learnt that hassi mazaak mein I can communicate much more than with a strai ght face. Remember to be on good terms with head-hunters. Maloom nahin when you might need a job. I've seen that by being the helpful type, most people reciprocate when asked for help. I've seen that neighbors keenly observe your change in status and their percepti on of you changes accordingly. Most of us have at some point wooed and courted. I do not reciprocate another s fe elings, when I am not interested. In other words, I've learnt not to lead others up the garden path. After all, would I like someone to do the same to me? I've seen men who get attracted to women elder to them, are mostly, very attache d to their mothers. Probably, the woman protects her man and nurtures the child in him just like a mother would. I've learnt that to love and be loved, is the greatest joy in the world. I've learnt that happier are those who forgive and forget. When your wife has been, for years, used to having you back from work at 9 p.m. and suddenly start coming at 7 p.m. both of you need to learn to spend the extra time usefully or else you could end up fighting. I've learnt that love is a two-way street. I've learnt that love is all about sharing and caring. I've learnt that women are emotionally stronger than men.

I've realized that while wooing a woman there is no such thing as a fool-proof s trategy. The best of plans may go awry. My advice is just play it by ear; be sen sitive and sharp. I've learnt that to win over a good-looking woman, you must compliment her on he r intelligence and be persevering. I've learnt that a friend is one with whom you can chat without feeling apprehen sive of being judged. I've realized that excessive wooing could boomerang. Sometimes it pays to moment arily ignore your sweetheart. If she likes you, the phone will ring. The men who love from a distance get left behind. I've learnt that one learns more by listening than by talking. I've learnt that it pays more to be assertive than aggressive. I've observed that in a joint family, immature is the wife who compares herself with her unmarried sister-in-law. There will always be a different set of rules for the daughter and the daughter-in-law. I've learnt that you must know when to put the phone down. I've learnt that insecurity breeds jealousy. While studying for your exams, some college or building friends might try to dem oralize you by talking about how hard they study or questioning you on subjects you do not know. I've learnt to spot such friends and isolate them. My advice is ; go by your schedule, look at the number of quality hours spent studying and no t the number of hours. I've realized that sharing your vulnerability with your sweetheart helps cement the relationship. I've realized that inspite of what ever you might do, every woman wants to hear those golden words - I Love You -. I've realized that an attractive woman knows exactly what's going on in a man's mind. I've learnt that a victory won by humiliation leaves scars of resentment. It is smarter to strategically win over the weak.

I've realized that if you want to marry woman who has not made up her mind or is just too pre-occupied with her own plans, don t pop the all-important question bu t handle her gently, be there for her and may be she ll be yours. I've realized that getting emotional in an argument makes one behave irrationall y and lose sight of the big picture. I've realized that some Veejays perpetually crave for attention, apprehensive th at their popularity might decline if people don't notice them. I've realized that two individuals, even after the fiercest of fights can contin ue to be friends for life. I've realized, that on meeting a TV personality of my dreams, I could act fresh, trip and perhaps even fall if I didn t hold myself together. I've learnt that people who are not good listeners get isolated, come on strong and believe that they are the best. I've learnt that every person must believe in himself but at the same time be wi lling to accept criticism, internalize it and change himself accordingly. I've learnt that marrying a Siamese twin can make life boring, but marrying a 50 % opposite could add value and make life interesting. I've learnt that Arien women enjoy the company of men who will take charge of th eir lives, but get married to men whose lives they can take charge of. I've learnt that eight out ten women reject guys who fall head over heels in lov e with them and express their feelings too soon. I've found Arien women clinging to the phone when they are feeling low, wanting to be heard but being crisp and to the point when they are on a high. I've learnt that most women like their men to be gutsy. I've seen many attractive women use their charm to get a guy let his guard down. My advice is be careful, try getting into a give and take situation. I've learnt that women like their partners to be good listeners. I've learnt that disagreement or anger can be better communicated through tone o f voice or silence than by raising one s voice.

I've learnt that human behavior during childhood and old age is similar. Marriage is all about companionship, sharing, giving your partner space and bein g there for one another. Husbands and wives have to continuously work on their relationship, add value, j uice and spice to it. I would tend to ignore women who want to date me on the phone and not for dinner . Couples who do not take each other for granted, respect each other's views, agre e to disagree are likely to have a happy married life. Be in touch with your friends during your ups and downs. It will help build last ing relationships. Some friends might not talk to me for months, yet I know they will be the first to help me get out of a problem. Isn't that what friendship is all about? Trusting one another is only the first step in a lasting relationship. Most women are busy assessing the guy on the first date and may probably talk ab out themselves on the second or third one. Always remember to return favors. You will have more people wanting to oblige yo u. Having got married, many of my friends continue to meet attractive women. While they cannot marry all of them, they can enjoy their company, become friends, be there for them and may be lots more. While selecting your life partner, you have to go by your gut feel, rather than being logical and rational about it. I've learnt that when you are unhappy or angry with someone, let it be known. If you do not vent your feelings, tension builds up within. Two things could happe n. Either you could get into an argument and get it out of your system or your b ehavior will subconsciously reflect the anger. I've observed that most women seldom reciprocate love immediately. They like to be pursued, wooed with chocolates and roses before they warm up to you. I've seen many a married man behaving very differently in the presence and absen ce of their wives. There are others who are uncomfortable taking their friends h

ome. Both these behavioral patterns reflect on quality of the relationship a per son shares with his family.