A Journey To My Heart-Poems Written From My Soul

1-LONGINGS I have given you my heart and soul I have become yours, I swear. This world tortures me. So, I have found my 'home' in you. Hopes start from you. And so does my wishes. I have clasped my hand With yours for a lifetime. ith Your picture can never Be erased from my memory. The moments you have given me Can never be taken away. This I and the lord know. So, come and claim me Before they reach me To possess my life.

2-A LOVE SONG Oh my sweetest love! Here is a song for you. It is a song that flows From deep within me. You shook your feathers In me without my knowledge. Your separation is melting In my eyes like dew. These days have been offered To me after lives of purification. You put your hopes in me With tears and unseen dreams. Like a festival of flowers and colors You are dancing in my garden. You remain in me as a mystery Of unheard melody of love. Tell me, my divine love Tell me where to find you.

3-OFFER OF LOVE OFFER When the wind is blowing on your face And the whole world is against you I could offer you a warm embrace To make you feel you are wanted. When evening shadows and the stars appear And there is no one to dry your tears To let you know how much you are loved. When the night is dark and cold And you feel all alone and scared I could hold you in my arms To make you realize that you are not alone.

4-WAS IT ONLY A DREAM? As I walk by the ocean Savoring the serene sounds of the waves I hear someone call me from behind. My heart skips a beat since it was odd For someone to be here at this early hour. Only the sounds of waves and seagulls Could be heard around. The sun is seen rising far away For marking a new day. I was at peace, taking it all in And feeling the cool breeze against my skin. Till I heard this voice A voice of great warmth and love. I turned around in surprise Only to find myself breathing Heavily on my pillow. How could it be? It felt so real and good. Was it God or someone else Who called my name? I needed to know. But it was only a silly dream.

5-FRESH BEGINNINGS Life goes on as it never ends The memories are behind me now As I start my life fresh and beautiful. The thorns of yesterday still prick me. I ignore them for I have stepped into a path. A path that has lush grass. As I stroll on, I come to another turn, Where I find sharp stones and dirt. But I stroll on As I need to satiate my hunger. Ahead lies an oasis of life Filled with its crispy freshness. I need to reach my destination. To meet life's new challenges. I can hear the chirping of the birds, The dance of the flowers, And the howls of the wind. All this fills up my soul And I go on and on.......

6-KEEP THEM BURNING Keep the candle burning until I come. Hold yourself and wait for me. I will be arriving shortly. To wipe away your tears, love. And embrace you in my hands. So that you feel protected From the wickedness of the world. Make preparations for our tomorrow. When you do not have to weep anymore. Light the candles and keep them Burning in the hours of solitude. Replace the old flowers with new ones For we will be starting our life new. Cook your favourite dinner for us. And put a red candle in the center. I am on my way to kiss away your blues And hold you close to me. Darling, here I come.

7-DESPERATELY Desperately I reach for you In my sleep, only to find An empty space beside me. How much I ache to be Comforted by your arms Around me and my head Resting on your bare chest And your hoarse whispers In my ears like music to the senses. I want to feel your breath On my face and close my eyes In pure pleasure. My body trembles in the cold night Longing for your warmth. But all these are desires That will never be fulfilled. I would rather die happily Than having to be tormented Like this in life. Tell me, my sweetest love Do you ever feel the same way And cry for me in the night?

8-UNCONTROLLABLE I tried so hard to control myself But your name kept coming to my lips Again and again. What is it so extraordinary That I keep thinking about you? I see many faces everyday. But it is your face That I long to see. What magic have you done To make me feel so strong about you? I keep looking for your face in the crowd Only to be disappointed and hurt. But still, I never give up Hoping that one day I will Catch a glimpse of you. Oh! Life is so painful Without you here to share with me. I long for your face each day But end up crying alone in my room. Will you ever be a reality Or are you just a fantasy?

9-THE MONSOON The dampness and coldness is soothing after the cruelty of the sun. It calms the entire being and takes you into a world so serene. The spirit is once more awake and refreshed. That it opens up a new door of wisdom. After what seem like ages of agony and loneliness, It feels as if you are given a new life to explore The inner self that you had kept hidden from the world. Sometimes, life is nothing but a tasteless dish That you have to devour with helplessness. Fortunately, we are given a re-incarnation. And all that was thrown towards us Is forgotten and buried deep in our chests. Slowly, but mercifully.

SEPTEMBER 19, 2009 10-THE PARTY The parties come and go Leaving memories of joy Behind that lingers on. Some sweet and loving, Some sour moments Some proud times And some happy and sad Moments when you Say goodbye to all. But, the best part Is when you see a smile On everyones faces That leaves you satisfied.

11-THE HIDDEN GOD As the tears of misery flows From my eyes, I seek God Who has hidden Himself Away so that I wont Torment him with my pain. He can hide all that he likes But the tears that burn My eyes will reach him And I ask for justice For a woman, who is in despair How long can he hide? From the curse he has set for me To you I turn, dear God To you, I ask peace For my being and life You cannot deny me What I desperately ask I have never been unfaithful To you or my religion So, give me my freedom Give me my love and peace.

12-TEARING ME APART The torture is ripping me apart I am dying day by day As you creep into my soul And every inch in my body You smile at me wickedly Enjoying my misery and pain I can hear your roars of laughter All around me in circles I close my eyes to shut you away But your voice shatters into me I gasp in anguish You envelop me completely Taking me bit by bit But I ask you this much Will your hunger be satiated? Can you be free again? Can you?

NOVEMBER 3, 2009 13-HUNGER A hunger rises inside me A hunger of change and Passion to make a difference In the dreadful monotony. Is life all about making Sacrifices for the sake Of people that you love But, in return, you get nothing Spare contempt and injustice Who gave people the right To be selfish that they leave No consideration to the feelings Of others or at least the ones You love and care about? Where is justice and fairness? I will rise above all this Even if I get stoned On the way to freedom. I will keep this hunger intact And burning so that it never Dies and fades away. This I promise to myself and God.

JUNE 1, 2009 14-ON A RAINY DAY To cool the soul and the earth The rains are falling in sheets Like music that just flows With high notes and low notes It pours in a rhythmic beat. I long to stand in the rain, As I sit on my bed and write My heart aches to go out and get wet And off my mind wanders To places I so desire to visit Mind is like a tidal wave That will hit you unaware You have to prepare yourself for it Or you get drown away by the force. I try to resist my thoughts And listen intently to the rain That is perhaps singing my song A song that of pain and desire Oh! How lovely would that be! To dance like a child in the rain It is times like these when one Wonders why we ever grew up To take away the simple pleasures Of life and childhood.

FEBRUARY 16, 2010 PROMISE 15-When I feel tortured By the people around me Day and night, I long for your kind voice. And sweet love That kept me going Through lifes many difficulties. Ever since you are gone People torment me With cruel words and deeds. I wish I had your shoulders To rest my head and weep And lessen my burdens. But when I think of the courage That you gave me before you left I wish to move on in life Since I dont want to make you sad. I promise I will live each day With new hope and new faith. I promise you, my love.

FEBRUARY 10, 2010 MOON AND ME 16-My mind goes into a solitary mode As the sun turns orange Setting to welcome another night My heart aches for the moon And neglect the lovely orange sun But I am sorry as I say this. I am not one to despise the sun As I believe the sun is very much A part of me as the moon. Yet, it is the moon That has captured my heart And truly mesmerizes me With its intriguing ways I belong to the moon. I know I do as I have The same shades. I am mysterious like the moon. Also, I shine on people When they need light. But, ungrateful people Abandon the moon and move on. As they do the same to me. So, here I am weeping With my companion, the moon.

MARCH 30, 2010 17-ARE YOU THERE? Without you here beside me I feel completely lost and alone. Dont know what magic You have over me, darling. That I keep hoping You are coming back. It is silly of me to think so. But, my heart refuses to listen. When I need you I just close my eyes And there you are Beside me, holding me In your arms and wiping the tears From my eyes, saying you are here I can feel your fingers in my hair And your warm breath on my skin. Your lips brush against my cheeks Kissing away my tears. But, when I open my eyes I find you gone. Is this madness that I feel Or are you really there? You are tearing me apart Day by day and night after night. I want you to come back Or you are taking me with you.

18-REGRETS APRIL 1, 2010 Tell me where I went wrong I had so much hopes and wishes About my life and future. Where did they go? What happened to them? Why is it that you wish for something And God makes another happen? Lifes full of riddles and puzzles I am tired of solving all of them. The road I chose seemed right then But, with a sigh, I say its been wrong. All I needed was a slight thinking The punishment is right for not doing so. The enemy of me is myself I must have listened to my inner self. I have ruined everything. Now, nothing can be done. Perhaps, there is hope for me For a better tomorrow For a better life For love. I wait and wait

19-LIFE IS A JOURNEY APRIL 1, 2010 Life is a journey and we are travelers Chosen by God. To reach our destination We must travel through All kinds of paths. The one who finds his destination Is a good traveler. And the one who do not Has to go on till he does. The punishment is severe For not finding it.

20-INSANITY MAY 12, 2010 Hes all around me. He wont leave me alone Every moment, every breath Hes there with me. With no shame or guilt. He watches me all the time. I cant help but undress my shame. He knows my each thought And my desires, fears, longings Hes a part of me thatll never leave Until the day I pass away From this world. He wont rest till he gets me. And I wait for that day. Eagerly, patiently, silently. For I too love him the way He loves me desperately. Anyone who watches me Or hears me might say It is madness and insanity But, whatever this may be, I call this love and love alone. If loving is madness, Yes, I am mad. Put me in an asylum And do whatever you please. But, my love for him Will never, ever change.

21 JULY 05 2010, MONDAY 10:45 PM MEMORIES After a decade of bitterness Old memories have come to haunt me Like a ghost of yesteryears Scaring and shaking me within. I am clueless as to how To solve this riddle or mystery I have done some soul searching But I do need some time To find an answer An answer that would settle My mind and heart.

22 AUGUST 23 2010, MONDAY ACHING HEART This heart aches for you day and night But realize that we cannot Be with each other anyway. Why did God torment us this way? To pull our hearts and make Us weep in pain. The passion and the love we feel For each other is driving us crazy But we have to control ourselves. It is not easy, I know, But there is no other way to this agony. Like this, we would destroy Each other and make others unhappy. Where is life taking us? I wish I knew. And you wish you knew. One day, we can be together If God has made a plan For us. We will wait for that day And suffer this torture in silence. Till then, we can live in the hope That I love you And that you love me. Together with this love We will live forever.

23-AUGUST 24 2010 TUESDAY A DREAM COME TRUE My morning starts with you And so do my nights You are the reason I live now If you are not there There would be no light Hope comes from you And so does love What had been an illusion Has become a reality How can I ever thank you Enough for filling this void That was left by someone My heart ached with pain And loneliness that tore Me apart day by day I was suffocating In this horrid reality Until you came and lifted me up And showed me rainbows and sunsets Without a fear in me That once more Darkness would engulf me This is what they call love Is it not, my beloved? Yes, I know that This is definitely love.

24-AUGUST 28, 2010 SATURDAY THE VICTORY OF OUR LOVE As I sit on my bed, thinking of you I can feel your warm hands All over my body, caressing me My body trembles as it moves Here and there, exploring every part. You dont let me write, as you Shower me with kisses and whispers In my ear that you want me. You arouse every inch of me And win me over I sigh and respond to your kisses First placing warm kisses On your inviting lips And which turn my passion That makes me moan with pleasure Placing wet kisses all over Your burning body And you pull me towards you Inviting my tongue to explore The sweetness of your mouth You run your fingers Along my spine Making me shudder. I clutch my hands on your back And hug you close to my breasts You kiss them and nibbles At my nipples that drives Me wild with passion I moan and pull you closer Inviting you to me You search my eyes as if to make sure Seeing the passion in them You move inside me Giving me a sweet painful pleasure

I wrap my legs on your back And pull your face to me We kiss and bite each other At the same time rocking ourselves I urge you that its time And you push a final time I cry out in pleasure And we come together We shudder and collapse Into each other And you bury your face On my chest and I hug you closer Two drops of tears escape my eyes And you kiss them away We smile at each other For the victory of our divine love And fall asleep peacefully Holding each other, Never letting go.

25-AUGUST 31 2010 TUESDAY 10:16 PM PASSION AND LIFE In life we are driven by passion That makes us do things Which we never thought We could do. Yet, we also do things We may regret later in life Not that there are many And still, this will not stop us From doing things more If a person lacks passion They are considered worthless The drive to do things In a different way in life Makes us stand apart In the crowd Same way, this applies To our physical love too A woman seems interesting When she shows some passion Towards the subject Who loves her No one likes females Who are like cucumbers Appealing and interesting They may be cool But they are tasteless.

26-LIFE IS A JOURNEY Life is a journey That will never end And love is a river That keeps flowing We are joined together In this wonderful journey That is full of crazy adventures And many narrow and steep roads We will take this journey Together with our hands Clasped and will flow With this tide.

27-SEPTEMBER 12, 2010, 11 PM DEPTH OF MY LOVE For you, I have given my love And for you, I would give my life I have worshipped for you For you, I would be happy to die Strangely, you are not aware Of the depth of my love Unless I prove it to you I know you are not at fault But the situations and life Have made you doubtful Believe me, my hearts true love I will make everything alright If you give me a chance To take the burden That lay in your heart Just one chance, and then, You will realize how true I had been and how right.

28-SEPTEMBER 22, 2010, WEDNESDAY, 8:36 PM A SELF-ANALYSIS I am the owner of my self And I take the responsibility Of my deeds and words And no one is at fault but me I look back at the years Where I had been a complete fool Taken granted by the people That I loved and trusted But, I have decided not to Let that happen to me again For this, I need to control My emotions and keep My impulsiveness in check Without thinking too much Of the consequences in life I have done too many things Which I later regretted Enough harm has been done To my self-esteem I will never be a slave To my emotions again I am a bold woman Who has been given Kindly wisdom by the lord And I will put that to use And continue my life, Promising myself to never Repeat the mistakes I once did With this prayer in my heart I rest my soul and comfort myself.

29-FEBRUARY 10, 2011, THURSDAY ESCAPE Can you hear them? They are coming to get you Run for your life Or else, they will kill you Torture your body and soul Crippling you for a lifetime Run faster, my dear Never let them win I know you can do it You are strong You wont let them reach you And kill you softly. Yes, you can do it Move faster and steady There, you are almost done One more final step Thats it Youve done it.

Thursday, February 24, 2011 30-Rainy Eyes Wherever you put your foot It will turn into a garden Flowers will bloom, and Rain would keep falling. Your eyes are like dark clouds I have lost myself in them. Your eyes have shown me A thousand dreams, unknowingly So, why rain is pouring out of your eyes? Tell me why.

September 27, 2010, Monday 31-My Pleasure, My Joy Falling in love with you Has been a pleasure to me Because I have never known A more warmer human being Than you, who is unique In every kind of way. One moment, you warm my heart With your love and affection And the next you scold me For my stupidity and silliness. One minute, you offer me Your full support and encouragement And in another, you keep me guessing You are just perfect for me The one I had been looking for Throughout my lonely years. Now that I have you in my life I have no other wish to ask From God and would never complain I want to run away with you To the castle that we built With our love, dreams, and hopes And I want to belong to you Forever and ever Making sweet love to you In the cold and warm nights, And taking care of you In every way.

September 27, 2010, 10 PM 32-Madness When I wake up in the morning It is you I think of first And glance at myself in the mirror To find you looking at me I smile at you, and whisper I love you,and you whisper back. Lazily, I get up from the bed And walk into the bathroom Reminiscing the dream I had of you. My body warms over and long for you But I have to control my emotions. Although you are so nearby Yet, very far away within my reach. I check the phone for your messages When I do not find any, I sigh And get back to my duties My mind is with you Even though my body is here. When I finally hear from you I feel blessed and feel like flying High up in the sky in your love What is it that you do to me, I will never know? But you are mine That is enough for me.

September 28, 2010, 8:24 PM, Tuesday 33-My Loneliness I am surrounded by a sound family That are always active and noisy But, in this mad life, I feel lonely And ache to be with a person Who truly loves me and understands me How I ache to be held by that loving hand That would wipe these tears away. My heart is weeping for the love I once had and lost on the way. Once again, life has given me A chance to nourish in someones love But, I cannot help but wonder If life would be cruel to me again Showing its nasty face at me As I wonder, his smiling and twinkling Eyes, full of love and joy Come to my mind And I get lost in them Burying my loneliness forever.

September 28, 2010, Tuesday, 8:43 PM 34-Forgiving You continue to amaze me, my love By your unconditional love for me And the way you forgive my mistakes To take my hand and hold it tightly You reassure me that I need not Feel insecure about you, as you Will continue to love me And support me throughout my life Wanting nothing in return But my happiness, although My happiness is you And nothing else in this life. I have everything, but in reality That I can call mine. So, I continue to love you more Day by day and feel protective As I have your love and togetherness I dont have to pretend around You anymore and that makes everything So easy and smooth. I will never know how I got So lucky in life. Maybe, someone up there Must truly love me so much To be loved sincerely and kindly By someone as good as you.

October 04, 2010, Monday, 10:55 PM 35-Life Is Beautiful Life is beautiful to those Who are beautiful inside And who loves seeing life In a positive way Taking the sweetness And the bitterness As a chapter of a book Each page filled with New adventures and misery Or mystery or love. To those who are always Trying to see the evilness Can never become happy And satisfied with life Taking that evilness On others and making Their life miserable So, the motto of life Should be live and let live. Be happy and spread happiness Love yourself and give love To those who are thirsty For your love and kindness So that life offers you A garden of roses The thorns that will surely prick you But the fragrance will always remain in you.

April 9, 2011 36-I Dreamed I dreamed of green meadows And flowers along the way I dreamed of still waters And words that no one could say I dreamed of beautiful trees And an untouched land I dreamed of tall waves And a heart full of love in my hand I dreamed of a rainbow And shooting stars in my nights I dreamed of sweet words And someone to hold me tight I dreamed of white mountains And snow in the winter forest I dreamed of a warm fireplace And someone tender and honest I dreamed of beautiful islands And love in the warm sand I dreamed of his love And hoped he would bring me to this land I dreamed of his closeness And his heart full of tenderness I dreamed of his laugh and his light And eyes full of happiness I dreamed of his hands And his sweet, tender, and loving touch I was dreaming and have sent feelings And know I have loved so much And secretly hoping that one Just one can see what I can see And I have a longing for someone Who can feel what I was able to feel.

April 12, 2011, Tuesday 37-You Walked Into My Life You walked into my life When I needed you the most, Broken and depressed, You breathed the life back into this chest, You treat me like no other has And I thank you for that, I love how you caress my soul, I love your kisses and your hugs, And even when you tease me the way you do. I love your heart. You are sensitive and strong When I need you to be You hold me and just let me cry When my world crashes How could I not love you? You are everything my dreams made up of, And you are everything I've never known, You love everything about me The good and the bad And I love everything about you. I love that you are protective of me And that our personalities are a lot alike I love how you hold my hand in yours I never want you to stop You say I'm stuck with you, Well that's fine by me I feel you are the one I've been searching for And I know you've been searching for me too.

April 12, 2011, Tuesday, 10:00 PM 38-My Life, Your Garden Ever since Ive met you, My life revolves around you Youve turned my desert into a garden That is full of colours and fragrances Your words are like healing balm to my soul Like rain falling into the dry earth. The love that you pour into my heart Is like adding a log to a dying fire That would keep it burning As though it would never run out And I know the fire would burn forever As you continue to spark my life Now that I have you with me I will never let you go. Together, we will watch the sunsets And together, we will walk forever.

May 14, 2011, Saturday, 12:57 PM 39-Give Me A Lifetime I long to live a lifetime Wrapped within your arms To see you there beside me To know your many charms But if that cannot happen Id settle for some years To have you as a part of me And calm my many fears And if some years is far too long Then give a month or two And I will make myself content To just be near to you And if there is no month with you Pray let me have a week To know how it would feel to have The ecstasy I seek Or give to me a shorter time Like maybe one whole day To look into your azure eyes And say what I must say But if you do not have a day I beg for just one hour To place you in a loving shrine Within an ivory tower And if an hour you cannot spare Ill make a minute do That I might feel the blessed joy Of spending time with you But if you cannot grant me this At least give me a space To just reach out with a loving hand And once caress your face.

June 28, 2011, Tuesday 40-I am the one I am the constellation to your night And I am the shelter to your storms I'm the deepest of your desires, and The flame to your candle that burns. I am the waves to your bluest ocean I'm the rhythm inside of your heart I'm the rain that falls from your sky I am the day that's before your dark. I am the garden to your reddest rose I'm all the stars to your every night I am the wings to help you soar and The vision whenever you need sight. I'm a sunrise to your every morning I am the treasure lost beneath your sea I'm the sunset to your every evening I'm the beauty in nature that you see. I'm the bird who sings in your trees I'm the dreams whenever you sleep I am the destiny you've searched for And I am the journey that you seek.

June 28, 2011, Tuesday 41-I am burning out The dark shadows invade my soul As love slowly dies within I pray relentlessly to ease such pain But to no avail, my heart bleeds with utter disdain You said you loved me, but you lied I said I hated you, and began to cry As I cried, pain gripped my heart With complete sadness and despair I know we must part How do I make this heartache go away My head, and my heart, and its thinking goes astray Please let me see the light of love once more However, more suffering is in store Let love live, I say I cry to thee; please never go away My love, help me ease the pain By loving me once again.

June 28, 2011, Tuesday 42-Always You Each day, I wake up in the morning, It makes me sick Knowing I cant even kiss and hug you. I felt so sad and upset Because I missed you so badly But we cant do something As were miles away Sitting now in one corner of my bed I was thinking and dreaming about you I know myself I want to be with you At this moment But I dont have power That just one snap of my finger Im with you. And Im admitting, That I was crazy the past few days Because Im scared to lose you one day Knowing I never loved someone like this before And Im so hungry for your touch and your kiss Along this way, we were months together Im just holding tight to your promises And I will give everything to you I will take care of you And love you with all my heart I know Im not a perfect girl, But I can love you with all my heart and my soul Because my LIFE and my EVERYTHING It will always be YOU.

October 20, 2011, Thursday 43-Morning Blues Did you sleep well, my love? Were your dreams colourful? Did you have your cup of coffee? Have you read the newspaper yet? Did you check the news on TV? Are you sad about the world? Did you take a shower? What colour shirt are you wearing? Did you do the laundry? Have you done the dishes? Did you have your breakfast? What did you make today? Did you have your orange juice? Was it up to your liking? Did you take your phone? Do you have the bag with you? Did you forget something? Of course you have Yes, that must be me.

June 17, 2011 44-Heart Is Like An Iceberg The heart is like an iceberg Which refuses to melt or move From the position it is in. We are given no choice Except wait for its mercy. Till then, we struggle To move this way or that But, we give up, crying In anguish for the torture It has put us in. Didnt think it was this tough When we set out this journey. We try to hold on To the glimmer of light And wait, wait, and wait June 16, 2011 45-Love happens only once in life When it does, hold it for life And never let go of it. It comes only once in a lifetime. The ones who long for it May never get it But, the ones who least Desired it would be hit With such force that They might find it hard To breathe and hold on. Love is a beautiful feeling Even if it crushes you Mercilessly and endlessly. Love is the only medicine That man has ever craved for. We all need it to survive This lonely and empty life.

October 20, 2011, Thursday 46-The dreams that were once colourful Look dark, fearful, and lonely The hopes that I have had For tomorrow lies scattered Around me in pieces Everything is a blur And life is a nightmare I know theres no escape From the claws of the demon It is rushing for me with dirty hands And as fast as I am running Itll get me in the end To kill me mercilessly And eat my flesh and blood So, goodbye to you, my friend We will meet again On the Judgement Day Do not forget to smile And wave your hand. I will push past the crowd And come to you. I will be looking forward To meeting you once more For it is you I am grateful For having given me a drop With which I made an ocean. It is you I remember the most And you that I say a prayer for Do not worry about me I will be with God Waiting for you. Rinshi Ansari