Chapter 38: Pool and an Odd Concatenation of Circumstance: No Checks, and if You Dont Like Math, Just Skip

Over the Numbers A few weeks later, and we are into Spring of 1975 by now, we went to House of Pizza for our Math Club meeting but it was closed. It was a warm spring evening and the leaves on the trees were just budding in. There had been a thunderstorm earlier in the day but the sky was clear now. We hung around until everyone showed up. Stoney and Michael were still focused on each other but not to distraction, the way new straight couples so often are. Beanie and Cecil showed up, and figuratively scratched their heads. Leah was the last to show up, but was still early. Why would they close like this? asked Cecil. Well, its Good Friday, said Leah. Oh, shit! Sunday Easter? asked Raheem. Sure, she said. So where are we going to go? Macks? I asked. Raheem, Cecil, and Leah all winced. Ciraccos? asked Raheem. Beers too expensive, said Cecil. Caint fret the lil shit, said Raheem. You Episcopalians are all the same, Cecil said to Raheem. I take umbrage at that, said Leah. What about Annies? Like it, said Raheem. Oh, perfect! said Michael. The rest of them nodded. We had a solution. Hmmm, I said. Something always happened at Annies, and you never knew what it was going to be. Whats wrong? Stoney asked me. Nothing. Lets go. Nobody else needed a ride, so Stoney led Michael and I back to his car and we returned to our respective seats. On the way to Annies he and Michael had an animated discussion about the Equal Rights Amendment. I couldnt hear everything they were saying but I gathered they were both in favor.1
1

The Equal Rights Amendment was passed by Congress in 1972. To become part of the Constitution, three quarters of the states legislatures, or 38 states, must approve. To date 35 have done so. It has never

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We got to Annies before the others. Michael seemed to know where it was and gave Stoney very precise directions. We had no trouble finding a parking place. Biggie was at the front door, carding people who looked too young.2 Hi, Henry. Hi Michael, said Biggie. Hey, Bigness, Michael answered. Anything going on? Biggie was still enormous and still dressed all in black. He was wearing cowboy boots that had these odd silver wraparounds on the toes and heels. Interesting ornamentation, but one wonders whether the workers for whom the boots were named would have approved of this advance. Not for you, so far as Ive noticed, Biggie answered. Henry, theres a crazy drunk chick here whos going to notice you if you play pool. Why? I asked. Call it a hunch. Donnies here but not playing. Biggie said to me. No big players tonight but I think youll remember that we dont hold much with big-time gambling here. Me, I love it, but my boss, he dont. Im not here to gamble, I said. We jut want some burgers and a table to have a meeting. Knock yourself out, said Biggie. We walked in. I looked around. Well, hello, I said to myself. Melissa, the pretty redhead from Hixson, was at pool table no. 1, playing Beatriz. Milton was at table no. 2, playing a slightly sloppylooking but attractive woman, doing his best to look down her blouse. She was wearing red high heels with ankle straps and showing lots of cleavage but the first thing you noticed about her was that she was playing with a beautiful cue stick. It was a two-piece stick inlaid with a beautiful floral vine pattern. It looked familiar. Melissa, too, was playing with a finely made and intricately inlaid cue stick. Hers had a fiery demon inlaid on the heel end of the barrel. Thats Max, I said. Melissa, who was lining up a shot, answered back Mais oui! then she looked up and saw who I was. She stood up straight and waved in a friendly way and seemed happy to see me. Henry! At the sound of her voice Beatriz also noticed me and hopped off her stool to wave at me excitedly at first, and then retreat to her cute little
been clear to me why this was controversial, but it still hasnt passed. It came up in Virginia in 2011, but their House said no. 2 InTennessee in 1974, the drinking age was 18. The bar was low, and the police in Nashville had a Devilmay-care attitude towards enforcement, so the only vendors who got busted for selling to minors were convenience stores that sold beer to middle-schoolers.

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wave. I smiled at her and waved back. A few seats down at the bar, Rob and Toni were bickering about something. They were too focused on each other to notice me or anyone else. I walked over to Melissa. At your service, I said to Melissa. I tried to do a kind of courtly bow thing. Not sure how good it looked. I was trying to figure out, if she had Donnies cue stick, what that meant about the state of their relationship, but then Donnie his own self showed up. Henry. He said. He made no attempt to feign enthusiasm. Donnie, I said. Or was it something else? Hank? How about you call me Don and I call you Asshole? he asked. He was watching that woman play Milton. She was in her late twenties or early thirties, and it looked like Milton was trying to teach her how to play nine ball. Since Milts grasp of the rules was less than rudimentary, this seemed ill-advised. She had that beautiful custom cue, though. It had a French phrase lettered in mother of pearl up the barrel. I walked over to say hello to Beatriz and she nervously waved back, too shy to speak at first, but she was smiling. Milton eventually recognized my voice and looked up. He waved. Isnt that the stick Texas had the night we played cutthroat? I asked Donnie. Oh, yeah. No mistaking it. Saw it right away. And she cant play worth shit, Donnie said. Anything going on tonight? I asked. No. I am not hustling a single soul. I even loaned Mel my cue. But your pal Milt is such a fuckup that its really, really hard not to just walk over and take all of his money away. A guy whos that much of a mark ought to stay away from places like this. Hes smart, but stupid, I said. I know the type, he said. Donnie lit a Marlboro from a Bic disposable lighter and shook his head. How much you think hes got on him? he asked, player to player. I dont like her having that stick, I said. Im with you, Donnie said, then thought better of it. I mean, I despise you and think youre dog shit, but I appreciate the sentiment. The cues current owner had long dark hair with heavy blonde streaking, and when she lined up shed cock one knee so her ass would stand way up then sight her shot by looking straight down the cue low to the table so that her hair was on the felt, then shed look at the shot with one heavilymascaraed eye, then smile confidently to herself as if to say Oh, yeah. I got this one

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nailed. Then shed take her stroke and absolute chaos would ensue. Despite the confident delivery she had no skill whatsoever and no aptitude on which to build. Occasionally a ball would fall because of a random collision, and this pleased her greatly, but she was as inept as a pool player could possibly be. A kindergartner on a footstool would do better. Milton was only marginally better, so it was painful to watch. How am I going to get that cue off her? I asked Donnie. He thought and smoked for a few seconds. We were watching them from across the table where Melissa and Beatriz were playing. Beatriz was pretty competent for an amateur and Melissa was pretty sharp. You generally roll with a pretty hefty wallet, he shrugged. Shes got no money. Shes been going home with losers. Maybe shell sell it to you. I shrugged. Not a bad suggestion. So I put fifty cents on the rail to buy the next game with the winner. Melissas a lot better than the last time I saw her play, I said. We were far enough away that she couldnt hear us. Have you ever lived with somebody? he asked me, then smacked his forehead. No of course not. What was I thinking? But my point was, sometimes it seems to me like the only things we really do well together are fuck and play pool, so we play pool a lot. Did somebody teach you? I asked. Yeah, my dad was good. Hed show me stuff when he wasnt in jail, Donnie said. That was almost sad enough for me to feel sorry for you. Not quite, of course, but almost, I said. A relief, he said. Alcoholic mother? I asked. Of course. Still not there. Sick siblings? I asked. Nope. One sister. Katie. Stewardess for TWA. And youre going home with the prettiest girl in the bar. So no pity for you. Really, Henry, and I say this in the kindest possible way, the day I merit pity from the likes of you is the day I lose my will to live.

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It works out well then, I said, because I have none for you. And your dads a, what, hit man? he asked. Yes, only he wears a uniform, I said. Donnie nodded. I have no idea whether that was a lucky guess, and of course he would never give me the satisfaction of registering any kind of reaction, even pride at a good surmise. Mom? he asked. I dont know. Something in the Air Force. Lieutenant Colonel in Germany last I heard. Wasnt around much. Sounds horribly lonely for you, he said, dismissively. So you learned pool on your own? Yeah. Trial and error. Took years, but I started early. The fact that nobody likes you and you have no friends gave you lots of time for practicing, though, he said. We were still watching Milton and the woman with the cue stick stumble through a game of something like nine ball. The problem was, she was so horrifically awful that it looked like I might be playing Milton next and wouldnt have a chance to talk to her about the stick. I took out my wallet and handed Donnie a twenty. Whats this for? he asked, frowning. I have no interest whatsofuckingever in playing you for money. Look, go buy enough shots off of her that she wins the game, I said. That way I take the next game and can talk to her about the cue. Otherwise I have to follow her around and shit. He watched her fuck up another shot. Fifty, he said. Oh, fuck that, I said. To sink four or five shots? You can do that on your head. Pal, hustlings about advantage. I have it. You want that cue, I can help you get it. Fifty. Its worth forty times that. Fuck you, I said. I gave him a Grant and an unpleasant expression and he handed me back the twenty. Biggie, who was watching us carefully, frowned at me. I smiled back. Pal, since you dont really hustle, let me add some fabric to this, Donnie said. We mix in a few bought shots from me and a few from Mel to make it look legit. You got a girl here?

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Not really, I said. Of course not, he said. Wed mix her in if you did. She couldnt be worse than either of these two. Why are we doing this fabric? I asked. To convince the onlookers its real. If anybody watching a table gets the feeling that somebodys cheating, it turns bad. Doesnt even have to be the player. When youre hustling, you have to sell the hustle to the whole room, not just your opponent. Youre a lone wolf asshole, so you dont know the basics. Convince the onlookers its real. Got it? Got it. Donnie bought the next few shots off of her, but she wouldnt just take the quarter or fifty cents regulars would take, she demanded a dollar for the first shot and two dollars for the second, and then smilingly said she wanted his underwear for the third. Melissa was nearby and frowned. Donnie said hed pass. He never looked at me, though. She scattered balls everywhere. Milt was lining up a shot when Rob and Toni showed up abruptly on either side of me. What are you doing here? she asked. Math Club usually meets at House of Pizza, I said, with a sigh. Its closed, so we came here. Toni nodded silently. Melissa bought a shot for a quarter. She was so much better than shed been in Hixson, and I noted that observing her lean over the table was still distracting to the males who were present. This game ought to be easy, Toni said, staring intently at the table Its just masses and vectors. Want to give it a try? I asked. She shrugged. I bought Miltons next shot. I put a dollar on the rail, which caused everybody to look at me. I waved at Milton. Okay, I said, selling the hustle to the crowd, look, usually when somebody buys a shot they like the way it looks and want to take it because they like to play pool. My friend Toni here is new to pool, so shes not likely to make this shot, so this is an experiment and I think we ought to pay a little more. People nodded. Toni looked around the table. I handed her my cue. An eighteen ouncer from the wall rack. It was straight. She put it down to line up a shot, but didnt understand how to hold the cue. I showed her. Her eyes and hands were surprisingly steady. She had her fingers wrapped around the barrel of the stick in a way that I disapproved of, but Id corrected her enough. For a first-timer, she seemed pretty confident. She took a bead on the four and just stroked it in.

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I forgot. Its Toni. She doesnt see or interact with the world the way I do. Well done, I said. Yeah sure, she said, dismissively. I couldnt count on her to screw up, so I couldnt buy shots from Milton and hand them to her. Donnie noticed, too, and cocked an eyebrow at me. I shrugged. I understood it, but there was no way to explain. Maddening as she was, Toni was an extraordinary mind. Focused as I had been, Id lost track of my Math Club pals. I looked around, and Stoney and Beanie were playing what looked to be eight ball two tables over, with Michael and Leah looking on. Cecil was standing at the bar end of our table, just out of the light, watching Milton play the woman with the cue I wanted. Cecils eyes looked sharper than usual. Without seeming to orchestrate anything, Donnie managed to move people in and out, buying shots and making problems, in a way that made it more likely that the woman with the cue would win the game with Milt, bad as she was. Once, after Milton had fucked up six shots in a row, Cecil took pity on him, bought a shot and hammered in the six for him like he knew what he was doing, then gave me a look that suggested that he knew something was up. He didnt say anything, and so far as I know he and Milt werent friends. I looked over at Biggie and he scowled at me. I decided I needed to talk to him. Look at her cue, I said, when Id crossed the distance. Yeah, its pretty, taking a drag from his Camel. That money game with me and Donnie and Texas that got me in so much trouble? I said. Yeah? Texas was playing with that cue. He nodded sagely. She shouldnt have it, I said. He gave that kind of nod of the head coupled with an almost shrug that says Yeah, I guess youre right. So I want to get it from her. I said. He nodded again, but then cocked an eye at me. That cues worth some money, he said. It is, I agreed. No big stakes gambling here, said Biggie.

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I just want to offer to buy it from her. He looked at me. He pitched his cigarette butt out the front door without looking, then watched the woman with the cue consider but reject several shots. Biggie drained his beer, then retrieved a pouch of Red Man from his hip pocket and placed a good wad in his cheek pouch. It took him several seconds to get his chew adjusted. Her names Kundry, he said. I told you about her. I figured she was the one, I said. Roys not here tonight, said Biggie, looking at the woman with the cue as she hiked her ass and dropped her head into another disastrous shot. Cool. Im not trying to cause trouble, I said. I gotcha, he said, nodding and chewing his wad. He spat into his now-empty beer can. Heres the deal. Kundry and I are friends. Good friends? I asked, cautiously. No, not really. He chewed his tobacco contemplatively. About once a week, when she hasnt picked up anybody else and is still in here when we shut the place down she grabs on to me and I take her home and she fucks my eyes out. I aint got no illusions, though. Im sittin here some nights when she leaves with other guys, too. But, boy, she is a wildcat, he said, appreciatively. Of course, I always wear a rubber. God knows whats goin on in there. I just want the cue stick, I said. I want to buy it from her. I dont want to gamble for it. Yeah, okay. Just dont start any legends thatll get me in trouble, he said. Thanks, I said. A few minutes later she finally managed to sink the nine and I was up. I waved at Milt again. He waved back sourly and disappeared to another part of the bar. I took my fifty cents from the rail and used it to free the balls. They made their familiar clattering thunk. Hey, I said. Im Henry. Who are you? Im Kundry, she said, as I racked for nine ball. Who breaks? she asked. You do, I said. She smiled and lined up. She cocked her ass up the way shed been doing but didnt bring her face down to the table. She made a little teepee out of her fingers at the rail and clobbered the cue ball with her stick. Her break was pretty good but nothing went in.

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Nice cue stick, I said. I tried for the one ball but missed by a hair. Slow roller with a bounce at the end. Oh, yeah? Kundry asked. She slammed without looking and scattered a bunch of balls and, miraculously, the one ball went in. If she had even the most remedial education level of knowledge of the rules of nine ball, it didnt show. She took another shot, and somehow she managed to miss every other ball on the table. Yes, it is, I said. I was about to take my shot at the two when Melissa stepped forward and handed me Donnies cue stick. I nodded in thanks and she smiled that smile of hers back at me. I wondered what Donnie thought of this, but didnt look at him. Boy, that cue felt good. I looked at the inlaid demon. He actually looked evil. Id never shot with a premium stick before. I always used the ones from the wall. This was straight, heavy, solid and oh so smooth. Never felt anything like it. Oooooo,3 I said, appreciatively, and Melissa smiled again. I had to concentrate. I sank the two, then had trouble with the three. I tapped it but didnt sink it. I was out of practice. Ive seen your cue stick before, I said to Kundry. Oh, yeah? she said, taking another random shot that accomplished nothing. A guy from Texas had it, I said, rolling in the three. Soft tap. Good shot on the four. Yeah, that was Carl, she said. Carl? I asked, and tapped in the four. The five was guarded pretty hard by the nine. I moved it but didnt try to sink it. Yeah, yeah. Carl Klingsor, she said, impatiently. She mis-shot and table scratched, bouncing balls around randomly, but the likelihood that she knew what table scratch meant was nonexistent and I didnt want to try to explain so I let it pass. In the background Donnie moved as if preparing to say something. Melissa kind of nudged him with her hip by way of telling him to be quiet, perhaps under the misapprehension that I was being chivalrous. How much do you want for that cue? I asked her, and coaxed in the five. I was a little off, but she wasnt getting anything at all so it really didnt matter. A lot, she said, laughing. How much? I asked, and just barely made the six. The seven was almost impossible, so I tapped it and the cue ball, with some roll English, into the center of the remaining balls in a way that gave her no shot. She giggled. He had these long earrings
3

It rhymes with you.

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that looked like real goldstrands that looked like little pipes separating large gold beads. The beads swayed and clacked together as se bent over her shots, and were heavy enough to tug at her ear lobes when they moved. They looked expensive and really old, like archaeologically old. She stroked off a meaningless shot that came nowhere near the seven. Donnie made a throat-clearing noise and again I waved him off. Two hundred and fifty dollars, she said, suddenly and proudly. Thats what you want for the cue? I asked. Yeah! she said, challenging. She had this smirk. Done. I took out my wallet and placed two hundreds and a fifty on the rail nearest to her. She was startled at this and showed it with a smile. But she made no move to take the money. The only way to the seven ball was a really hard bank shot. I was out of practice, so I missed and left it right at the lip of the right corner on the headspot end of the table. Any idiot could sink that ball, but most idiots would scratch on the shot she had. I want to tell you something about the game of pool, I said. Okay, Master Po,4 she said. Donnie snorted at her comment. You have a great shot on the seven, but if you hit it the way youve been shooting, the cue ball will roll in right after the seven, which is what we call a scratch, and you dont want that. I know that, she said dismissively and knowledgably. So what pool players do is put English on the ball. Milton had reappeared and moved in to listen. If you hit right at the center of the cue ball, it will keep rolling after it collides with the seven, but if you hit it cleanly under the center of the ball, it will tend to stop or even back up after the collision. No! she said. Cross my heart and hope to die, I said. Try it. She leaned way over to make her shot, and, under the guise of getting a closer look at the shot Milton circled the table to look down her blouse. She slapped it kind of hard, but not square. The cue ball rolled true but it had so much bottom left English that it not only bounced back from the seven, which caromed off the corner of the pocket and squirted back onto the table, but then the
4

A Kung Fu reference.

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cue ball, charged with tons of English, careened off of the side rail and bumped into the eight. Lordy. Good shot, I said. Thanks, she said, smiling at me and licking her lips in a proprietary manner. At this point both Beatriz and Melissa stood up from their stools and crossed their arms across their chests. Milton crossed back to my side of the table and managed to burn his fingers lighting a cigarette on the way. He came close to ask me a question. Man, are you going to leave your bread laying on the table that way? he asked, referring to the $250 on the rail. Lay, lie. My mother was strict about this. Yes. Wow, he said, in amazement. Its still her shot, I said. His eyes brightened and he positioned himself to improve on his view. I looked at Kundry. She wasnt lining up a shot. She had the heel of Texas cue on the floor, with her leg wrapped around it like a wisteria vine, the rest pressed close to her, and she had her left thumb against her front teeth like she was about to suck it. She was smiling at me. I like this cue stick, she said. I bet you do, I said. She made no move to line up and shoot. She stared at me for a few seconds, acting alluring. You know, it either works or it doesnt, and she didnt do it for me. I looked back at her and waited for her to return her focus to the table. Im not a football fan, but I like the delay of game penalty. This foolishness went on for maybe forty seconds. Le doute nest pas une condition agreeable, mais la certitude est absurde, I said. She frowned. Whats that? she asked. Thats what your cue says. I dont speak what was that, German? she asked. French, I said. Whats it mean?

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To doubt is an uncomfortable condition, but certainty is absurd, I said. Kundry looked at the phrase inlaid in the cue, puzzled. Not sure what he meant by that. She looked at the inlaid phrase for a few seconds. Carl was through here a couple of months ago, she said. He was a little down on his luck. Said he was going to give up on life on the road and go back home to Texas. Some stupid little town. Lumken. Lufkin. Munchkin. I dont know. He was gonna take the money he had left and go home to get a job at a paper mill. His father and his uncle and some of his cousins all worked there. There was a long-ish pause. Beer bottles clanked, pool balls clacked, and Kundry thought back. And? I asked. Her voice had been dropping in support of a batting-theeyelashes routine, so no one but me could hear what she was saying. She slid over as though to tell me something even more secret. So Carl was in here one night, she said, and I met him, and he won some money, but not much, she said. And I took him home, and he was feeling down, and there was something he really, really wanted me to do for him. She giggled softly. And so I asked him how bad he wanted it and he said bad enough to do anything and I said enough to give me that cue stick and he said but its really special and I said if youre going back to Lufkin you wont need it to work at the paper mill and he said but he really liked it and couldnt ever part with it and then I did something that he liked and he really, really wanted me to finish and now its mine. She paused to allow me to appreciate her story. Your shot, I said. She kind of smirked at me in an engaging way, but then looked back at the table. Im not sure I want your money, she said, looking at the table. The eight was an easy shot, and she leaned over to take it. Milton positioned himself to observe, and Im sure appeared to the world to be staring at her cue stick as seriously as if watching Gary Kasparov play Bobby Fischer in chess. But she was lining up on the eight. No. Wait. Dont take the eight, I said. Donnie snorted, and Melissa frowned at him. She was still standing. As was Beatriz. Why not? she asked, curling the tip of her tongue to touch her upper lip. This is nine ball. You have to hit them in order. The seven is next, I said. Really! she said, looking at the table again. Well, shit! It doesnt matter what else happens, I said, but the cue ball needs to strike the seven before it hits the eight or the nine. Wow, this really complicates things, she said, still looking at the table.

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You can still keep the $250, give me the cue, and walk, I said. She thought about it. I dunno, she said. She was looking at the table absent-mindedly. $350, I said. Her head snapped around, and I knew Id made a mistake. Wanted it too bad. She knew I needed it. She smiled happily, and was as pretty as Id seen her. To Miltons delight, she leaned over and took a shot at the seven. She missed it, but it was a decent attempt. I started lining up the shot on the seven, an easy one even though I was rusty. I have a different proposition, she said. Okay, I said, standing to listen. Well play another game. Im a pretty lucky girl, but in the off chance you win, you get the cue. I win, you have to do something to make me happy. She smiled invitingly. What about the stakes for this game? I asked. Well, you win, Ill be glad to go home with you, she said. All right. So in this game, if I win, I can take you home. In the next game, if I win I get the cue stick, and if you win, you can take me home? I asked. Oh, that sounds like so much fun! she said. Deal, I said. I dropped the seven, the eight and the nine. Game over. Kundry kind of jumped up and down and clapped. Lets rack, I said. Milton moved forward to do the honors but Donnie waved him off. Just as well. No way Milton knew how to rack for nine ball. That demon cue stick Donnie and Melissa had loaned me was simply beautiful. I balanced it on my index finger. It was so perfectly round and straight that I could roll it back and forth along my finger without losing its balance. I kind of twirled it majorette-style and snapped the tip into my left palm to chalk it. While I was doing so, Beatriz kind of shuffled over and got close to me, then, standing next to me, grabbed a pinch of the fabric of my shirt sleeve to pull me over. How are you, Henry Baida? she asked, softly. Im doing well, Beatriz, how are you?

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I am well, Henry, thank you very much for asking. I wish to alert you to something. I am not sure you are aware of this, but from another womans perspective, it appears that this woman Kundry has sexual designs on you. Its very nice of you to think so, I said. No really? I think this woman Kundry believes that you have a bet with her that is secured by a promise of sexual favors. From you to her. This is highly irregular. It may not be as rare as you might think. So youve done this before? Not exactly like this, I said. And what did you bet for, Henry Baida? I thought about how to respond. It was for something important. And you love this cue stick she has? she asked. Love isnt the right word, but its wrong for her to have it. And what was it that you gambled for in exchange for the promise of sexual favors on the previous occasions? she asked. Something important, like I said. Yes? I paused. Cigarettes, I said. You smoke? she asked. No, I never have. You are a strange and mysterious man, Henry Baida, she said, and returned to her stool. Donnie had racked the diamond perfectly. I twirled his perfectly-balanced, two-piece, high gloss, inlaid pool cue again and was about to ask Kundry if she wanted to lag when Toni spoke out in a loud voice. I wasnt aware she was watching. Henry, she said. Yes Toni?

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Explain gambling. Does the fact that you just won mean you have to fuck her? she asked. No, I answered. Why not? she asked. I think it does, said Kundry. I had to think how to phrase my answer to Toni. When you win, you win rights. Its when you lose that you have duties. I won. I dont get it, she said. I have a right. I dont have to exercise it. Think about it while we play, I said. Betting isnt math. Theres no equal sign in the middle. Its just a way of playing with money. And whatever else you want to play with. That didnt come out right. She nodded and thought to herself, frowning. Well, if youre not going to do me because of the last game, dont you have to go home with me if I win this one? asked Kundry, close to my ear. If thats what you want me to do, I said. You said I had to do something to make you happy. She smiled with an adolescent-looking innocence. But you have to beat me first. Im pretty lucky, she said. If I asked you if you wanted to lag, would you know what that meant? I asked her. She smiled a surprised smile and came even closer. No! What would lagging me involve? she asked, softly. Never mind. Your break, I said. Beatriz, Melissa, and Toni were all semi-near the pool table, standing straight up, in their jeans and various cotton tops, with their arms crossed, frowning at the table and tapping their toes. Kundry lined up for her break, misaligned with an un-chalked, if beautiful, cue and cracked the diamond weakly so that the balls didnt much scatter. I had no shot whatsoever that would sink the one ball, but I could hit it, so prodded it lightly. It occurred to me that Id missed a step. I walked over to Biggie. As I did, Cisco came through the front door in a casual stroll wearing a pink polo shirt with a little alligator on the left side. Hey Henry, he said, nonchalantly, and continued on to the bar without pausing. Hey, big man, I said to Biggie. I offered to buy that cue but she wants to play me for it, which is not what I told you I was going to do. Plus, last time I was in here I

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promised Mr. King I wouldnt play any high-stakes games here. I want that stick, she wont sell it, but shell play me for it. This isnt really gambling because she cant play worth toad shit, but Im betting her for that cue, and its worth some jack. Yeah, but all she stands to gain if she wins is a few inches of your pecker, he said. So? That bets made in here moren youd think. Really? I looked at all the clean-cut college kids playing pool and lounging at the bar. Enough that we dont think of bets involving pussy as a high-dollar deal no matter whats on the other end, he said. Most folks who make that bet are playin to lose anyway. O-kay! I just dont want Uncle Roy thinking I went back on my word, I said. He did right by me. Youre cool, he said. He aint here tonight, but Ill tell him tomorrow what we talked about and how I told you it was okay. Thanks, big man. He gave me a Cub Scout salute and turned to spit through the front door and also to stop a pair of obviously drunk lance corporals from coming into the bar. I went back to the table, where everyone was still in their places from before my discussion with Biggie. I looked at the table. It was a mess, but Kundry had waited for me to return before taking her shot. I watched her line up on the five. You have to hit the one first, said Melissa, frowning at Kundry. Melissa pulled her long red hair behind her back with her right hand and kept it there for a few seconds as though held by a scrunchie. She was wearing snug jeans over black patent leather flats with gold buckles holding crepe bows and a black and white striped scoop neck elbowlength tee shirt. She always looked good. Kundry stood up and looked at her, confused even though wed talked about this before. Since when was this a rule? she asked. Since always, said Donnie, smoking a cigarette and standing behind Melissa. I never heard that before tonight, she said, snappishly. She looked up. Biggie?

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In nine ball the cue balls first contact must be with the lowest-numbered ball on the table. Initial contact with any other ball results in a table scratch. You sure? she asked. I thought I had to sink em in order. Im sure, Biggie said. But thats not the way we played the first game, she said. Henry has been letting you slide, said Biggie. Now why would you do that? she asked me, smiling flirtatiously. She wasnt thinking this through. Dont want to be a stickler, I said. So youre saying Im supposed to hit the one first, not try and sink it first? she asked. Thats the rule for nine ball, but we can play by any rules you want, I said. Lets make up our own game! Kundry Ball! she said, brightly. Lets sink em in order and hit whatever we want first. She sidled over to me and kind of rubbed her hip against mine, smiling at me. Biggie turned to eject his tobacco juice onto the sidewalk outside and shook his head dolefully. I looked over at Donnie and he was laughing to himself. Yes maam, I said. Whatever you say. I dont know if Kundry is an idiot, I didnt talk to her long enough to tell. But that rules-change deal was a bad decision on her part. Once you know how to shoot, the only thing that makes nine ball hard is that the first strike has to be to the lowest numbered ball. If it werent for that any idiot could do it and it wouldnt be a game of skill. She made an incompetent attempt to sink the one off of the five, then I ran the table in straight shots. I think the demon stick made up a little for the fact that I was out of practice. Everything I wanted it to do, it seemed to be able to do. Id always avoided custom sticks before because when I walked into a strange pool hall I wanted to be just a drifter, not label myself a shark. But boy, I could see the appeal. I called the nine. Nine ball, near corner, I said. Donnie and Biggie both laughed briefly. There was a much easier way of getting the nine. It sailed straight in like it belonged there. Well, rats, said Kundry, disappointed.

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Melissa, Toni, and Beatrriz, one by one, sat back on their stools and took sips of their beers. Still wantin to be the high priest, said Donnie. The what? asked Toni. She looked around for someone to answer. She didnt know Melissa and Donnie. Henry is the high priest of the church of straight lines, said Melissa. At this point Stoney walked up and noticed the $250 on the table. He picked it up and looked at it, as though it were a curio in a gift shop, then put it back on the rail. What? asked Toni. Thats just something we called him back home. He impressed a bunch of guys in a bar one night, and then got arrested for knocking out my boyfriend. Toni looked at Donnie. You? she asked him. No, no, no, she said, shaking her head so that her red curls fluffed out a little. Henry would never hit Donnie. This was a guy I was dating before. Toni puzzled over this. You been gambling? Stoney asked me. After a fashion. Michael showed up with two mixed drinks and gave one to Stoney. Beatriz seemed to recognize Stoney, but Stoney did not seem to notice her. So do you really want my cue? Kundry asked me. Yes maam, Im afraid I do. But I dont want to give it to you, she said. A waitress showed up with a drink on a tray for Kundry. White Russian for the lady. Oooo! My favorite! From you? she asked me. I shook my head and pointed to Biggie. She gave him a shy smile and crooked her pinkie at him as she took a tiny sip. The cue, I said to her.

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So you dont want to take me home? she asked, pouting slightly and draining her glass abruptly. The waitress, who was maybe five feet tall and solid, took her glass away and went to get her another. Biggie had apparently given the waitress instructions. Not tonight, thanks, I said. I need to make sure somebody gets home safely, if she doesnt have a date. Toni scowled at this and looked around to look for who I might be talking about. Beatriz frowned. You could come over tomorrow night then. I promise Id make you very, very happy, she said, as a second White Russian showed up. You could lag me, if youd do something for me first. Some other time, maybe. Id just like the cue. She knocked back the next drink in a gulp. No sip. So are you a homo? she asked me. No, thats me, said Michael. Heres the deal, though, I said. You keep the $250. And if you have the case Texas carried this cue around in, Ill give you an extra hundred for that. I put down another Grant. She frowned suspiciously at this and the waitress took her empty glass away. Whats the matter? I asked. Nobody does this, she said. What? Is nice after they win a bet. Im not being nice. I promised Mr. King I wouldnt do a certain kind of gambling, and this way I didnt gamble for it, I bought it, so Biggie and Donnie can tell Mr. King that and I wont be in trouble next time I come in here. Donnie nodded appreciatively. Thanks, dick-head, he said. I handed Melissa the demon stick and put another hundred on the rail for the case. Kundry looked at the money for a second, then seemed to laugh to herself as she handed me her cue and pounced on the money like a cat pounces on a mouse, looked at it, turned on her heel and shoved the money into her pocket as she walked away. The case? I asked her retreating back. She waved vaguely towards table number four.

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Over there somewhere, she said. I found it. I felt that cue in my hands. I rolled it back and forth between my palms. I balanced it on the tip of my index finger. Donald? I asked. Asshole? Donnie answered. Chalk it up. Lets play some pool. Dollar a game. He cackled and put a dollar on the rail. Your break, I said. He smiled. Melissa handed him his cue as I racked. Come on Max, he said and clobbered it. The one rolled in. Ill be dipped in shit, said Milton. At least now he understood the rules. All right Max, he said to his cue stick. What do you want? And why do you call it Max? asked Toni. Rob stepped back into the shadows. She was using her argue tone of voice, undetectable to outsiders but obvious to Rob and me. Guy I won it from said this little guy is a devil named Maxwell, said Donnie, showing her the inlay in the barrel of his cue. Thats not what he said, said Toni, tapping her toe and glaring at him. How would you know? he asked. What he told you was that the red image was of Maxwells Demon. Donnies face brightened. Ill be a son of a bitch, he said, nodding agreeably. You know, I think youre right. Thats exactly what he said. Donnie sank the six off the two and then the three. He was playing well. Now how in the hell would you know that? he asked. You won that from Mustard Nathan, she said. Did you say Mustard? asked Michael. Yes. Donnie was re-chalking and looking at the table. I do love a pithy nickname, said Michael. Mustard? asked Donnie. He told me his name was Jon. He tried to explain who Maxwells Demon was but you wouldnt wait, she said.

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So you were there? he asked. Donnie lined up the four and tried to tap it into the side pocket but was a hair too thin on the slice and it barely bounced off of the rail. No, but he told me all about it. He told me he offered to make good on the bet by giving you a check. No checks, Donnie and I said in unison. I tapped in the four, then turned the other way to clock in the five with enough stop English to bring it way back down the table to give me a good shot on the six. The new cue felt great. As good as Max, maybe better. The tip was a little rounder than I like, but not by much, and I could replace that. It was the exact right weight and smooth as polished marble. So why wouldnt you let him explain? she said. About what? Donnie asked. Maxwells Demon. He and I were dating, sort of, freshman year. Thats a very special pool cue, she said. I agree, said Donnie. So why didnt you let him explain? she asked. Its not really a good idea to hang around after youve won that kind of bet, he said. I got the six but the seven was hiding behind the nine. I managed to tap it, but couldnt sink it. Why not? she asked. It was kind of hard to follow what she was talking about, because I was trying to focus. Why not what? Donnie asked. Why not listen to him explain about Maxwells Demon? asked Toni. You just dont wait around, Donnie said, and shrugged. Why? she asked. Mustard might have friends, I said. So you tell me about Maxwells Demon, Donnie said, being surprisingly helpful. I dont think I can. But it was really important to Mustard.

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I can, said Michael. Okay. So the Second Law of Thermodynamics postulates that the world is moving towards a lower energy state. More entropy. Yeah, we get that even over in the School of Engineering, said Donnie. Dont be bitchy. Im an engineer, too, said Michael. John Clerk Maxwell here he paused to glance at Donnie, who nodded, then Toni, who glared back, did what Einstein would call a thought experiment, although of course Einstein hadnt been born yet. Maxwell imagined two vessels of gas, one hotter than the other, connected by a teensy aperture. Everybody knows that what happens is that eventually the two vessels will eventually be the same temperature and pressure. But Mr. Maxwell said imagine theres a tiny little demon sitting at the aperture and he has very quick fingers and hes able to block all of the slow-moving molecules from passing from the cool chamber to the hot chamber, so that what happens is that the cool chamber gets cooler and the warm chamber gets warmer. Reverse entropy. Why wont it work? Class? Stoney and I raised our hands. Henry? he called on me. Brownian motion would make the demons hands shake too much to do the job. Precissiment! said Michael. But thats not what it was to Mustard, said Toni, peevishly. To him it was an explanation for why the rules of the universe didnt always seem to apply. He said sometimes the rules of the universe seemed to crumble at the margins. He used to see things that didnt line up right. He was always looking for why. Maxwells Demon was important to him, and he wanted to explain it to you. Hmmmm. If you see him again, apologize for me, said Donnie, but I dont like talking to people roo much after Ive taken something from them. Bad luck. I looked back at the pool table. Familiar territory. Donnie did the seven, then the eight, whiffed on the nine, and I took it. I didnt deserve it. He put another dollar on the rail so we could play again. He came close to speak to me in almost a whisper. Tell me you didnt put her up to that crumbling at the margins shit. That sounds like you. Yeah, it does, but I never talked about my advanced perceptions with her, and I never heard about Mustard before, I said. So there are two crazy people in the world, he said. Three, I said.

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Whos the third? he asked. Toni, I said. Yeah, but those tits, he said, and turned back to the table. Thanks for the explanation, Donnie said to Toni, in a louder voice. Interesting stuff. Wheres Mustard now? Hed racked the balls and Id chalked. He looked at me, and I broke. It was incredible. The one, two and three all rolled in. Toni, petulant, didnt answer Donnie. Fuck me naked with a live penguin, said Milt. Youre not going to claim that was skill? Donnie asked. Fuck no. But this thing is heavier and faster than Im used to, I said. He nodded. Cecil and Raheem showed up. Look, said Cecil. Looks like no Math Club, and Im hungry, and I feel a little outnumbered here, so me and Raheem are going to cut out and maybe get a burger at the Campus Grill. Wanna come? Hey, thanks for inviting me, but theres too much going on here for me to bail. Anything uncool happen? I asked.5 Naw, naw, they both said. I just wanna feel a little less like a minority, said Cecil. Everybodys cool, we just stick out here. Okay. Well Ill see you when I see you, I said. They left. It hadnt occurred to me that they wouldnt feel comfortable there, but I looked around and all the other faces you could see were white. So if a demon could control which molecules could get through a hole, how fucked up would the universe be? Donnie asked. Fucked up, but they were saying isnt possible, Toni said. Why not? For a guy whose girlfriend was a few feet away, Donnie seemed pretty interested in Toni. Brownian motion, but Im not sure why that fucks it up, she said. She was a very calculational physicist. I looked around for Michael but he was missing.
5

If you look at the 1974 yearbook, there are no black members of any of the white fraternities or sororities. We were making progress, but we werent done.

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Stoney spoke. Brownian motion is caused by the collisions of molecules off of each other and off of other very small objects. The bouncing of the molecules means they cant be still except at absolute zero, he said. The demon couldnt exercise the necessary level of control because his fingers would be bouncing around too much, and the aperture would be back to random. Are you Henrys friend Stoney? she asked. Yeah, sure, he said, extending his hand. And you are? Im Toni, she said. Oh, Ive heard about you, said Stoney. They shook hands. I dont care what he told you, Im not crazy, she said. Donnie tapped the heel of his cue on the floor impatiently, and I turned my attention back to the table. I snapped in the four pretty easily but then the rest of them were all bunched up in a corner. Well, the other things he says about you are that youre gorgeous and that youre the smartest person he knows, so its not all bad, said Stoney. I didnt really have a shot but I tried to hit the five first but didnt, so table scratched, so Donnie took the five in hand. That left a great shot on the six. Toni was staring at me. Henry, Im not the smartest person you know, she said, irritably. Donnie took the six and popped the seven in the side, but had a tough shot on the eight. He stood and looked at it for a few seconds. Yes you are, I said to Toni. No, Im not. Youre the smartest person you know, she said. Oh, for heavens sake, I said. You and Stoney both are smarter than me. Toni and Stoney looked at each other, surprised. Stoney lit a cigarette and took a sip of an amber colored liquid in an old fashioned glass. Donnie made a miraculous bank shot to drop the eight and a no-brainer on the nine, so I gave him his dollar back and paid to drop the balls again. Melissa smiled at me. She was talking to a college girl wearing bright red checked bell-bottoms. Donnie was better than hed been the last time wed played, and I was pretty rusty, so we were very evenly matched. If I may, said Beatriz. Donnie broke and scattered the balls all over the table but nothing went in. I started picking them off. Yes? asked Toni.

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The three of you have slightly different kinds of intelligence. I stopped to hear this. Henry Baida understands what he is looking at better than you or you, she said, looking at Toni and Stoney in turn. Group-friend Toni has a keen ability to see and describe the world in terms of her discipline. Whats that mean? asked Toni. And Stoney Jackson is more able to reason from what he knows into unknown territory than you or you. Im sorry, said Stoney, with a look of confusion. Have we met? Yes we have? she said, and raised an eyebrow speculatively, wondering if hed remember. What were we doing? he asked, after a pause. As much time as hed spent stoned, Stoney may have been less baffled by this situation than most people would have been. So it started with a discussion of Russell Saunders Coupling, she began, then pause to kind of laugh behind her hand, and at the end of the evening, you dictated a twenty-seven step proof to Fermats Last Theorum, she said. That was you? he asked. She nodded and smiled, and appeared to be relieved that he didnt remember her. Youre right, she is pretty, said Michael. This is the guy you told me about? Toni asked Beatriz. The stoner math major with the enormous you know. Beatriz frowned but nodded. Yo, Elvis, said Donnie. Your shot. I turned back to the table. It was all set up pretty well so I was able to sink them all. Donnie gave me back the dollar and bought the balls. I had missed part of the discussion, but Toni had been quizzing Stoney on our summer with Mrs. W. But thats just what Henry said, she said. Im not sure that result varies much from expectations, Stoney said. Henry, dont you usually tell the truth? Sure, I shrugged. Henry Baida is honest, said Beatriz, like she was quoting something.

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Or so he says, said Toni, dubiously. I pounded the break with my new cue. Nah, thats not it, said Donnie. Id gotten the one ball in on the break but couldnt nail the two, and now Donnie was about to run the table with clean precision. He took a few more shots. Well? asked Toni, impatiently, irritated by Donnie having something other than her to occupy his attention. Henry tells you the truth because he doesnt give a shit about what you think, Donnie said. I wagged my head equivocally. He wasnt far off. He treats me the same way. We cant stand each other, Donnie said. Melissa laughed to herself. I certainly didnt care what Toni or Donnie either one thought of me. Donnie finished cleaning the table with an intentionally risky shot that only barely whispered in to the side pocket and would have given me a slam dunk if hed missed. Such a show off, I said. Is that something you pick up in a big town like Hixson? He ignored me. I gave him the dollar back and paid to drop the balls. This may have been the best pool night of Donnies life. It was fun to play somebody at the top of his game. Maybe he was playing so well because girls were watching. Lots of times guys will show off when women are watching them, no matter what it is theyre doing. Donnie wasnt just getting in, he was rifling every shot so that the ball made noise when it hit the back of the pocket. Truth be told, of course, so was I. The stick Id won off of Kundry was amazing in every way that an inanimate object can amaze. It was fun. It was like owning a new German sports car. I could make shots I shouldnt have been able to make. After I racked I listened in to the conversation again. B.B., what was that thing about being able to see the world in my discipline? Toni asked Beatriz. Beatriz thought. Im not sure I can describe it better, but its like you can see the physics problems all around you? she said. No, I dont, Toni said, tapping her toe. Oh, yes you do, I said. Thats what makes you the smartest person in the room. She scowled at me dismissively. Donnie clobbered a break that scattered the balls to all parts of the table but didnt sink anything. Dont get it, Toni said.

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Hang on a minute, I said to her. I went on a run where I sank most of them and only the eight and nine were left and it was still my shot. Donnie, lets hang on a second. Lets involve you in this thought experiment. Look at the table and tell me what you see. He looked. Nine ball, he said, with a sour expression. As an engineer, I said. He looked again, slightly less sullenly. A set of objects that can be rearranged in a useful manner with the proper application of force, he said. Rob? I asked. A lot of random interactions that would be difficult to calculate, he said. Stoney? Um, something that would be hard to predict. So many variables. Its almost like the singularity that we saw in Navier-Stokes might be one of the results, but Ive been watching you two play and you run the table over and over. Its amazing. Donnie thanks you, but its not really amazing, its just practical. Its just practice. You mathematicians dont practice. Stoney was taken aback. The engineers and physics majors all nodded. What about you, Beatriz? I asked. She frowned and thought for a few seconds. Henry Baida, I think I see a field of possibilities whose outcome depends on the vectors and forces applied. She paused and thought. Perhaps I should play pool more to understand? she said. Melissa crossed to give her a little hug and a smile. Beatriz was a special case. Thats okay. So Toni, what do you see? I asked. On the pool table? she asked. Yes, I answered. There were three balls left. Donnie, give her a few seconds. Shell need to study it. Michael, I apologize for leaving you out, I didnt see you. But my guess would be that you would see it the same as Donnie did. Toni was scowling at the table, motionless for a few seconds.

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No apology needed, and you are correct, monsieur, said Michael. Donnie was looking at Toni the way he might look at a girlie magazine. She was dressed in typical Toni fashion, but I wouldnt have looked at her that way with Melissa sitting nearby. What is the mass of a pool ball? Toni asked. Six ounces, said Donnie. I shrugged. They vary, but he was close. So 170 grams? she asked. More or less, said Donnie. Donnies an engineer. Engineers round off a lot, but they know their math. Toni stared at the pool table intently for several minutes without saying anything, in some kind of zone that shut out the rest of the world. We waited silently. What do you suppose shes thinking? asked Michael. Dunno, I said. But its lots of fun to get her to do it. What exotic pleasures you pursue, Monsieur Baida, Michael said. He took the cigarette from Stoneys fingers, took a drag, inhaled it deeply, exhaled it gradually, took another drag to shoot a smoke ring over Tonis head, then gave the cigarette back to Stoney with a smile. Stoney smiled back at him affectionately. As small a gesture as it was, the casualness of their intimacy widened some eyes around the table.6 After maybe two or three minutes of silence, long enough for conversation to pick back up around the table, Toni snapped out of her trance. She looked at me and smiled, a big grin. She almost never smiled, at least not around me. Thats why I like you, Henry, she said. You get me to do that. Whaddya got? I asked. Everybody stopped talking to listen. Okay so lets call the white ball m1, the black ball m2 and the yellow and white striped ball m3. So first we calculate the gravitational attraction between m1 and m2, then between m2 and m3. Note that they look like theyre arranged as though they describe a right triangle, and my solution assumes they are. So this is a trig problem? Donnie asked. Wait, I said. Toni thought.
6

Stoney and Michael are not brave, but they both had privileged upbringings that cause them to assume that the rest of the world is going to adapt to them. They are also not holding hands or engaging in any of the small physical expressions of affection that straight couples do. To do so in an unfamiliar could easily cause trouble in 1974. Things are better now, but the world is still full of places where Stoney and Michael would not feel safe.

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So you remember your Newton? she asked. That the attraction of two masses is directly proportional to their masses and inversely proportional to the distance between them? Sure, said Donnie. So thats F = G

m1m2 she said. d2

I learned the denominator as r squared, but okay, said Donnie. Stoney cleared his throat. Newton was taking orbital mechanics so it was a radius, Stoney said. Here its just a distance. If you two boys could shut the fuck up, said Toni, back to her normal state of being pissed off, I could give you the answer, she said, shaking her head. And do you remember the constant of universal gravitation? she asked Donnie. Maybe, said Donnie, and stared at the ceiling for a few seconds. G equals . he began, and paused for a while. It appeared that none of us knew it. 6.673 10 11 m 2 / kg 2 said Stoney. Donnie and Toni both looked at him, surprised. Hes smart, I said. More phallocentric bullshit, said Toni, shaking her head. So, assuming theyre, what, forty centimeters apart? Sure, roughly, said Donnie. So we get F21 = G

m2m1 (0.170kg )(0.170kg ) = (6.67 1011 m 2 / kg 2 ) for 2 (0.400m2 ) d 21

the gravitational attraction between the white ball and the black ball and assuming the distance between the other two is exactly thirty centimeters we get

F21 = G

m3m1 (0.170 kg )(0.170 kg ) = (6.67 1011 m 2 / kg 2 ) for the gravitational 2 (0.300m 2 ) d31

attraction between the nine ball and the unnumbered ball. Okay, said Donnie. So the net gravitational force exerted on the white ball she started. The cue ball, said Donnie.

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What is it about men that they cant ever resist telling you that they know more than you do? Toni asked, exasperated. So the net gravitational force on the fucking (3.7 ) 2 +.( 3.2 ) 2 0 1 5 1 1 1 cue ball is F = F21 2 + F31 2 or I could see Stoney start to do the calculations in his head. This would be a lot easier to calculate if billiard balls weighed 300 grams, he said. Toni wheeled angrily to snap at him but even as she raised her finger to wag it at him she froze. Youre right! she said, surprised.7 He shrugged. So its she started. Three and a half Stoney began. Right.
3.5 + 1 1

1.875

+3.33 2

or

. She looked at Stoney.

Shy of four and a quarter, Stoney said. Right, she nodded, smiling at him. Youre really good. So the gravitational force exerted on the cue ball by the other two is 4.22 10 11 . Thats what I get, he said. She looked at him for a minute, admiringly. Impressive, said Donnie. You guys can put your extraordinary mental abilities to bear to calculate an infinitesimally small number that just has no function in reality. But its genuinely impressive that you can do it, meaningless though it is. Can you do the vector? Stoney asked Toni. Not in my head. Id need a chart, she said. I can never remember the values for the trig functions. He nodded and finished his cigarette. I wondered whether he could have done it. So Stoney Jackson, said Beatriz. Stoney looked up at her and was probably trying again to remember who she was. Hi, there, he answered.

Stoney was referring to the fact that if a ball weighed 300 grams the mass over distance part of the nine ball equation would be easier to solve. Since the ball is 0.3 meters away from the cue, the denominator, 0.32 , would equal .09. If the balls weighed 0.3 kilograms each, the product of multiplying the masses of the two balls youd also get .09 for the numerator, so the numerator and denominator would be the same so youre multiplying by 1 in your head, which is much easier to calculate than the way it works out with 170 gram balls. From my standpoint if billiard balls weighed 300 grams I would have been able to copy the entire goddamn thing straight out of my goddamn textbook, which assumed billiard balls weigh 300 grams rather than having to recalculate the entire goddamn problem to describe what happened at Annies.

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You could do this problem in your head, just as group friend Toni could do? He thought for a few seconds. Im pretty good with calculations, but I wouldnt have been able to set it up exactly like that, surely not as fast as she did, and if I could have, I just dont see the world that way. Looking at the pool table, I wouldnt have seen the puzzle. I love all kinds of puzzles, but I usually dont see them in the world around me. I guess, Stoney said, draining his drink. Henrys right, though, its fun to observe. Any chance you still have a copy of that Fermats Last Theorem thing you wrote down? he asked Beatriz. Oh, yes, she said. I still have it. Its in my papers? Any chance I could get a copy of it from you? Stoney asked. I will look for it, Mr. Jackson. It is there. I am sure I will find it. It may take time, said Beatriz. Thank you so much. Im sorry I wasnt better company that night, but Id love to look over that theorem again. And Im sorry, but if youll excuse me, I have to see a man about a dog, Stoney said, and left for the restroom. Beatriz smiled inscrutably at me and returned to her stool. Hes wonderful, Toni said to me, and abruptly left for the ladies room. I was alone with Rob. So should I be worried about this? Rob asked, as soon as she left, slightly fretfully. Worried how? I answered. That Tonis going to run off with your friend Stoney, he said. Extremely doubtful, I said. Stoney seems to be batting from the other side of the plate lately. At this point Leah came by. She had Cisco with her. Hey, she said to Michael and me. It looks like were not going to get much Math Club stuff done tonight so Im going to go with my friend Frankie here to do something else. She had her arms around Cisco in a happy, kind of proprietary way. Id never thought much about her looks, but as she announced her departure she looked positively radiant. Yeah, sure, said Michael. Maybe a week from tonight, and House of Pizza will be back open?

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Sounds good. Ill get word around. She and Cisco left, arms around each others waists. I wondered if she knew Cisco and I were roommates. Lets play some pool, said Donnie. I looked back at the table. Still my shot? I asked. Donnie nodded. I picked off the eight and the nine. I did not notice any gravitational pull influencing the results of my shots. So I was right, Henry Baida? asked Beatriz. About what? I asked. About you and Stoney and Toni? she asked. Donnie put the dollar back on the rail and racked another game. Well, youre right about Toni, and youre right about Stoney, but I dont know about the other. I recognize patterns, but so do dogs and cats. She smiled and pointed at the pool table to redirect my attention. It was so much fun playing pool that night. I dont remember it being fun before. It had always just been what I was. Being right-handed isnt fun, you just are. In the same way, Id always been a pool player. Since I was rusty all of the outcomes that varied from expectations were due to mistakes. No worry, low-stakes nine ball. A totally new concept. We gathered a crowd and paid no attention. After about an hour or so we switched to playing the other way, where you chip off single balls from the diamond rather than scattering them at the break. We played five or six games that way until Donnie just got tired of it and said Aw, fuck it, and clobbered the remaining balls, getting the next one in. Sweet. It was a fun night. Eventually it was time to go. We unscrewed our cues and put them in their cases. Got a name? Donnie asked as I placed my new cue in its slightly worn case. You know, I generally dont name inanimate objects, I said. So you already have one, Donnie said. That was fast. How do you know this? I said. I have one, too. This is Max. His carrying case also had a small red demon on the outside. His was soft leather. Mine was hard aluminum, with a carbine strap. Yeah so I guess this is Voltaire, I said. He smiled.

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Later, asshole. He gave me the finger then gathered Melissa and left. As they walked out the door she looked back over her shoulder and waved and smiled at me. She has a nice smile. I was still looking at the new cue case when Beatriz appeared at my side, grasping a tiny part of my shirt sleeve. Au revoir, Henri, said Michael, with Stoney at his side, from across the table. They were leaving. I waved, and they waved back as they left. Henry Baida, a word? said Beatriz. Yes, maam. If you will point out the woman you intend to walk home tonight, I would appreciate it very much. I would like to have a few completely non-obtrusive words with her, she said. Beatriz, I was thinking I might walk you home, I said. She was startled, but didnt react as many girls would. Me? she asked. Why? I thought about how best to answer this. Because the two of us will be safer together than either of us would be alone. I said. I guess. She looked at me intently. Henry Baida, you are being useful and helpful. Your honor is to be trusted, she said. She had all this odd emphasis. In the King James Bible random words are italicized. Talking to her felt like that. So you ready to go? I asked. She nodded happily and we left. I gave Biggie a fifty as we left. Dont forget to tell Mr. King, I said. Im worried hell think I broke my promise. Ill tell him, but really, we just have to ignore bets for pussy around here, he said. Beatriz frowned at the floor at this. Otherwise wed have to get rid of the pool tables. Thats not exactly what happened, I said. Close enough, he said. Youre a gentleman and a scholar. Thanks, big man. He saluted and we left. We walked a few blocks in silence. I didnt really expect Beatriz to talk much. Right after we got to campus, though, she did. I was distracted because there seemed to be ten

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or fifteen unicyclists crossing against traffic on West End, all wearing Guy Faulkes masks, two blocks up. It was hard to see, but as they crossed the intersection against the light without getting killed, she said I understand that you are taking care of me by walking me home Henry Baida. You do? Si. And I like it. But I feel I must ell you, Henry Baida, something. Okay. I like boys, she said. Okay, But I dont want a boyfriend. Okay. She didnt say anything else. Why? I asked, after a few seconds of silence. I am terribly, terribly, terribly embarrassed . after. After what? I asked. She paused and seemed to glance at me worriedly several times before she answered, although it was dark and I wasnt looking straight at her. After I enjoy myself. Henry Baida, it may be that you are inexperienced in intergernder relations, but they can be fun. She paused to frown and look at me. So I hear, I said. Henry Baida, you do not seem to me to be motivated to seek out intergender relations. I thought. Mrs. W says something similar, I said. Im a loner. Si. I am unfamiliar with this Mrs. W, although I remember you mentioning her the last time we talked. I would say she knows you in that respect. What I want I dont think you understand, Henry Baida, but I need to try to explain it to you because I want to be your friend and do not want you to misunderstand my intentions. Okay, I said. We were walking slowly through the freshman quad.8 It was a mild evening and it was too early for mosquitoes.

A recent map identifies the freshman quad as Kissam Quad. In 1974 it was called the freshman quad because only freshman men lived there.

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Henry Baida, I should also remember to say that you must let me know if anything I say makes you uncomfortable in any way. My therapists all say that I do not have strong boundaries myself and so do not recognize them in others. Okay, I said. So this conversation does not embarrass you, Henry Baida? she asked. Not so far, I said. What I want to tell you, I have never told a friend before. We are friends, Henry Baida. I think we are. Si? Si. You speak Potuguese? No. Spanish? No. Im okay in French and a form of ancient Greek. Passable Latin, I said. So you were answering me in Spanish? Si. Do you wish to converse in Spanish, Henry Baida? You said you do not know it, she said. No, I said. She frowned at me meaningfully. I was misdirecting the conversation. You commented that you are a loner. I took this to mean that the prospect of a solitary life does not bother you. What I want to tell you is that I am not a loner? Most definitely not. I have never told a friend this before, Henry Baida, she said. Well, its easy to make friends tin college, I said. Not for me. The other girls dont like me? But you seem to like me, Henry Baida. I do. I do not want a boyfriend, but I do not think you want a girlfriend.

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You are correct. I dont think Id be good at it, I said. I think you are wrong in this, Henry Baida? Oh? Yes, but perhaps this is something you could discuss with the mysterious Mrs. W. My point is that we have made friends and I wish to remain friends but if we were to become intergenderized, friendship would be impossible for me. And I would like to have a friend. Thats fine. Me, too. But you dont want friends? she said. I had to think. I dont think about myself a lot. Its not that I dont want friends, I said. Its just that when I dont have them I dont miss them, I guess, so I dont seek them out. But I like you. She nodded seriously to herself and we walked along in silence past the chain-link fences surrounding the Sarratt construction site. We walked in silence for a few seconds. She nodded seriously. Thank you, Henry Baida. I hope you can tell that I like you, too. We walked along in silence. So what do you like to do? I asked, after a few minutes. She seemed surprised at the question. She thought. I like to watch people, and think about what I would do if they were talking to me? she said, nodding. Thank you for asking, Henry Baida. You dont want to join in? I asked. Yes, very much? she said. Something dawned on me. But you cant? I asked. That is correct, Henry Baida, she said. I cant. She looked sad, but just for a few seconds. Who in her life was noticing when she was sad? We walked past the B house in silence. I am a good matchmaker? she said. Excuse me? I asked. While I am watching people I form ideas about who would be successful, intergenderally, with whom. My predictions have an extremely high success rate.

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How high? I asked. Henry Baida, it depends on your measurement criteria. Measured by one yardstick, 100%. That is whether they enjoyed each other. Based on another, 80%. That metric is whether they formed a relationship lasting six months. And longer than six months? I asked. I cannot say, Henry Baida. My first eight matches were less than seven months ago. Well, look for somebody for my friend Milton. He wants a girlfriend more than anybody I know. I saw him. Ginger hair, fuzzy beard. Smokes a lot, bothers girls a lot. Yes, clearly he needs a girlfriend. And you think he would be happy with one if he had one? Yeah. Hes a knucklehead, but hes not a bad guy. He was dating a girl for a while but for some reason he told her he was fluent in French and when she found out he didnt know a word of it she got mad, I said. Yes, well, a heavy smoker lying about his linguistic abilities to attract a mating partner does indicate a need for a girlfriend, she said. I think he and my suitemate Doris are well-suited for each other. She is slightly plump. He will like this. I will take care of this issue involving Milton and Doris, Henry Baida. Do they know each other? I asked. No. We were at the front door of Branscomb, the say goodnight place. Good night, Henry Baida. I am genuinely glad we had this talk. Me, too. Really? Are you sure? she asked. So often people say these sturdy conversational platitudes but do not mean them. No, no. Beatriz, I genuinely look forward to being your friend, I said. She seemed to be taken aback by my answer. She pulled her head back to look me in the eye, waited a few seconds, then if Im not mistaken, her eyes began to tear up.

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Henry Baida, that is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me, she said, and then turned to run to the door so I wouldnt see her cry. She turned at the door and wiped her eye. See you later, alligator, she said, and disappeared into the dorm. Heavens. Wonderful and sweet, but crazy. I turned to walk around the corner to go back to my room. As I was about to turn into my dorm I heard hoof-beats. I turned to look behind me. It was dark so it was hard to see, but it looked like a block back, in front of the engineering school, an old woman was riding past, bareback, on a zebra. Gone in a flash. I looked around. No witnesses. I sighed and went into my dorm. The door was locked. Remember, I had to go through Ciscos room to get to mine. I unlocked the outer door. Ciscos room was completely dark. I figured Cisco was asleep, so I quickly closed the door behind me. Id come in from the light, so I was completely blind, although a candle was burning near his bed. Henry! I heard Leahs voice exclaim. Its totally cool, said Cisco. Hes my roomie and tells no tales. Dont stop what you were doing. I stepped into my room and left them to it.

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