Safiullah Chaudhry Professor Humphery English 120 -137 December 2, 2011 Church Shadows

Chaudhry 1

In Anxiety: Challenge by Another Name James Lincoln Collier tackles anxiety and all the nerve racking that comes with it. He draws the reader in to his first anxious experience when he turned down an offer to study in Argentina in the summer because the prospects daunted me (Collier 83). Instead of exploring an exotic land Collier spend his summer unpacking boxes. He describes his unhappiness saying, I had turned down something I wanted to because I was scared, and had ended up feeling depressed (Collier 83). This turning point in his life made him develop a new philosophy to life do what makes your anxious; dont do what makes your depressed (Collier 83). With this newly found belief Collier went on to interview big names, travel the world and put himself in countless anxious positions and finally concluding that by accepting anxiety as another name for challenge and you can accomplish anything (Collier 85). One of the most anxious situations of any 18 year old is the encounter with the opposite sex. In my 11th grade class of Abraham Lincoln High School I had to lock horns with anxiety. A new transfer student from Egypt had just arrived. Her name was Dina, she was had long dark hair, sun kissed skin and a heartwarming smile. She was beautiful. My stomach felt uneasy first day I saw her. Over time I really fell hard for her but I was too scared to tell her. The thought going up to her and declaring my affection for her seemed insane! Just like Collier made excuses saying, I had promised to teach my younger brother to sail that summer (Collier 830), I kept excusing my affection for her with the pretext of high school crushes they come and go. Days passed into months and frustration got to me, other boys were falling for Dina too. I needed to do what made me happy not what would make me sad. I needed to take a chance.

One day after school, we walked towards an old Roman Catholic Church that engulfed us in its eerie shadow. That day the church felt like the epicenter of anxiety, as if all the anxiety in the world exists because of this building. This was my minds way of trying to forget what I was there to do. I was going to tell Dina what she meant to me. We both sat on a bench bordering the church. Everything fell into silence. It was now or never. My voice felt heavy, heart pounded and every butterfly on this big green planet was flying in my stomach. I took a deep breath and shook off my tight shoulders and faced her in the eye. Dina.. umm there is something I really need to t-t-tell you.. Whats wrong? Awkward silence ensued. Nothing is wrong Dina, I just really need to tell you something thats all. I took another deep breath, my brain said to me "run away but my heart had other plans. I looked her right in the eyes. My hands began to sweat. I opened my mouth. I felt the adrenaline rush in my veins. Dina, I really like you. Youre one the most amazing girls Ive ever seen. . Took you long enough Safi she replied. I felt a high that Id never experienced. I had liberated myself from my own self-imposed chains. Dina and I have been together for more than a year now and to imagine that if I hadnt manned up that day to tell her what I feel for her than we wouldnt be reading this. The Danish philosopher stated, Anxiety arises when we confront the possibility of our own development(Collier 84) He couldnt have been more right. Just like collier changed the narrative of his life, so did I. I welcomed challenges because after conquering one mountain we can conquer them all. Dina and I go towards that old Church everyday after school. It doesnt impose on me anymore, instead the giant shadow of its bell tower now seems like a friendly oasis. The same church and shadow that I blamed for my anxiety now welcomes us with open arms.