Vikki Creech English 278 Tara Penry 12/4/2010

I would like to think that since we live in a postmodernism time that I too am a postmodern woman. A woman who pushes boundaries, confronts convention, and is acceptant of
change. However, although some of my personal traits may reflect some aspects of the postmodern phenomenon, being that woman could not be farther from the truth.

I am a seeker, a thinker, an unbridled reflection of the values and ideas I grew up with. Like all proper modernists, I need to know what things mean, what is true, and what can be learned by each and every experience. The question What am I supposed to learn from this? is my credo. Unfortunately Im continually asking this question, and not necessarily learning from my experiences. So, chaos appears to be the story of my life. It is this continuous quest for meaning amid the chaos that steer me through each and every day. Chaos is, of course, the norm for a full time student and single mother of three, especially when two are practically grow men [17 and 18] and one is a three year-old red head named Samantha who I want to impart values and tradition. As I tried with my boys, I am again trying to
help my daughter learn how to be a responsible, caring adult. This is not always an easy task considering that her wants and needs are always in a constant state of change, which only adds to my already overwhelming state of mind. But nevertheless, and no matter how fast my life seems to be spinning out of control, I keep plugging away. Somehow my belief that everything happens for a reason, my faith in myself and God, and my traditional family values keep me moving forward. As the author of The Disappearance of Childhood, Neil Postman said, Children are living messages we send to a time we will never see. No legacy will leave the world is more important than your children.

Chaos is also the norm for a full-time photo-art student who wants her photos to mean something, to speak an unspoken truth. They say that pictures are worth a thousand words, and I used to believe that a truth. However, very recently in one of my art classes, I was asked to read an article and answer a few simple questions to help me with my understanding of the material. Before I began to read the article I skimmed through the questions and was quickly baffled by one of them. The question was, what is the myth of photographic truth? What? A myth? What is this that makes me question my belief? Well, put most simply, this myth, the myth of photographic truth, infers that a photograph (once thought by me, to provide a viewer an objective representation reality) is created by the use of subjective processes, and so it cannot actually depict an unquestionable truth. Because a photographer makes many decisions about angle, and lighting, about the best lens to use to achieve the exact look and feel they were aiming for, and the all around composition, truth becomes ambiguous. Photographs are supposed to portray specific meanings to people but what one person sees is not necessarily what another will see, and so will not share those meanings. So, what does this mean for someone like me who wants to capture moments and memories that let people understand what is happening in that moment? It means that I am going to push through even chaos, and work extra hard at depicting those moments because regardless of the extremely plausible argument of the myth of photographic truth, I just cannot make myself believe that there are not at least a few cases in which a photographer could capture an undeniable truth. Not only does chaos run amuck through my work and my family, but it undoubtedly is again, the norm in a world defined by the expectations of others. A. parents

B. Significant other C. Friends D. Society Each day is another attempt to quiet the chaos, to live quietly and peacefully within myself, to hold close the belief that one day I will know what its all supposed to mean.

Moderism Elements 1. places faith in the values, beliefs, culture of the west 2. reveals profound truths 3. focuses on central themes and a united vision 4. a quest for meaning in a chaotic world 5.