THE SKILLS OF LEADERSHIP

Leading Like Jesus

Part 3
Rick Warren
Feb. 19-20, 2005

“The one who serves you best will be your leader.” Luke 22:26 (LB)

HOW TO LEAD OTHERS LIKE JESUS

1. GIVE THEM ____________________________________________.

“I have given you an example to follow. Now do as I have done to you.” John 13:15 (NLT)

“Don't lord it over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your good example.”
1 Peter 5:3 (NLT)

“…set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.”
1 Tim. 4:12 (NIV)

2. CHALLENGE THEM ______________________________________.

“Go and sell what you own and give the money to the poor, and you’ll have treasure in
heaven; then come, follow Me.” Mark 10:21b (NJB)

“Jesus sent the disciples out with these instructions… ‘Go announce the Kingdom of Heaven
is near. Heal the sick, raise the dead, cure those with leprosy, and cast out demons. Give as
freely as you have received!’” Matt. 10:7-8 (NLT)

“Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the
Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.”
Matt. 28:19-20 (NIV)

3. AFFIRM THEM _________________________________________.

“Jesus looked steadily at him and He was filled with love for him.” Mark 10:21a (NJB)

“Anyone who has faith in Me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things
than these, because I am going to the Father.” John 14:12 (NIV)

“A word of encouragement does wonders.” Pr. 12:25 (LB)

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4. TRUST THEM __________________________________________.

“I am giving you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whatever you lock on earth will be
locked in heaven, and whatever you open on earth will be opened in heaven.”
Matt. 16:19 (NLT)

“Whoever can be trusted with a little can also be trusted with a lot.” Luke 16:10 (NCV)

“If you love someone ... you will always believe in him, and always expect the best of him...”
1 Cor. 13:7 (LB)

5. OFFER THEM __________________________________________.

“‘It was because you do not have enough faith,’ answered Jesus. ‘I assure you that if you
have faith as small as a mustard seed… you could do anything!’” Matt. 17:20 (TEV)

“Don’t use harmful words... Use only helpful words, the kind that build up...”
Eph. 4:29 (GN)

6. TREAT THEM ___________________________________________.

“I do not call you servants… Instead, I call you friends.” John 15:15 (TEV)

“When Christ, who is your real life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all His
glory!” Col. 3:4 (NLT)

7. ________________________________FOR THEM.
“I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail.” Luke 22:32 (NIV)

“I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in Me
because of their testimony.” John 17:20 (NLT)

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 THE SKILLS OF LEADERSHIP
Leading Like Jesus
Part 3
Rick Warren
Feb. 19-20, 2005

I love getting these response cards that we fill out every weekend and drop in the basket. I
appreciate all your comments. Sometimes I can’t figure out exactly what you’re meaning. So I
thought I’d read a couple of them to you.

Here’s one (a little kid) that said “Pastor Rick, you were really full of it today.” Ok….
Obviously I'm full of something!

A lady wrote, “Pastor Rick, when you speak I think, ‘He’s never going to get any better.’”

A guy wrote, “Pastor Rick, you are the model pastor.” I felt pretty good about that until I
went and looked up the word “model” in a dictionary. It says, “A small plastic imitation of the
real thing.”

And one of my favorites: “Pastor Rick, your words are like water to a drowning man.” Oh!
I misread that one it said, “Dear Pastor Doug!”

I got this one this week from a group of junior high girls. “Dear Pastor Rick, everybody in
our small group has braces. Now that you’ve got braces this week we’d like to invite you to join
our group.”

And a guy fell asleep, I guess, in church and he thought that I saw him. It says, “Pastor
Rick, you may have noticed that my eyes were closed during your teaching but I'm sure I didn’t
miss a thing.” What the guy didn’t realize was Tom was preaching last week!

We’re continuing the series on “Leading Like Jesus.” One of the greatest myths about leadership
is that leaders are born. They are not born. Leaders are made. Some people think, “I was born a
leader,” or “I'm not born a leader.” And that’s it. No, no! Leaders are made. They’re made by
two things. They’re made by choices and they’re made by circumstances. When you make the
right choices in the right circumstances you too will be a great leader.

Remember what I said when we started this series that leadership in one word is the word
“influence.” Every time you have interaction with anybody, even if it’s just a conversation, you
are influencing them. So you are a leader already. The question is not are you going to be a
leader or not. The question is are you a good one or a lousy one? Are you an intentional one or
an unintentional one? Everybody on this campus today is a leader. The issue is what kind of
leader are you?

Today we’re going to look at the third in this series of The Skills of Leadership. Seven skills that
Jesus modeled. And, by the way, He was the only perfect leader. If you have to be perfect to be
a leader then none of us would ever lead. God uses us in spite of ourselves. God uses ordinary
people. So you don’t have to be perfect, you don't have to have it all together to be a leader. But
you do have to make some choices. These are seven choices in the way that you can choose to
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act. I want to make you a guarantee. If you will do these seven things you will be a leader. This
is a leadership seminar I'm giving you this morning.

Last night a fire chief, a captain of a fire house, came to me and said, “I'm going to take this
material and teach it to all my guys.” I said Great. You can use this material whether you’re a
mother or father, a sister or brother, whether you’re in school, married, unmarried. You can use
it for leading the people in your life for good and for God.

The Bible says this in Luke 22:26 “Jesus said, ‘The one who serves you best will be your
leader.’” Notice it’s serving that’s leadership. It’s not demanding. It’s not requiring people.
It’s serving others. Another word for being a leader is a people-builder. Leaders are people
builders. There are seven skills in people building. And they’re all modeled by Jesus.

1. Give them an example

If you want to be a people builder, if you want to be a leader, you must give people an example.
Leadership begins with you and your life. It begins with living. And those who lead right are
those who live right. If you’re going to be a leader you’ve got to look at your own life and say,
What does my life model? What can I be an example in? If I want to be a leader, I’ve got to
start with me.

Why? Because you can only take a person as far as you have gone yourself. You can’t take
them past where you already are. So you’ve got to work on you. You’ve got to model what you
want other people to do.

Jesus never asked anybody to do anything that He hadn’t already done and was already doing.
The Bible says this in John 13:15 “I’ve given you an example to follow. Now do as I have done
to you.” Jesus said, I did it. Now you do it. In this particular case He had just washed the feet
of the disciples, modeling servanthood. He said, I did it now you guys do it.

The problem today is we don’t know the difference between a leader and a boss. They are not
the same. Dictators demand. Leaders model. You lead not by fiat, not by dictate. You lead by
example. The Bible says “Don't lord it over the people assigned to your care but lead by your
good example.” We’re to lead by example.

What do we need to model? What do we need to be an example of?

In the next verse it gives us five specifics. “Set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in
love, in faith, and in purity.” If you want to be a leader you want to work on these five areas of
your life. In speech. How do I talk to people? In life. How do I live my life? In love. Do I
really show love to other people? In faith. Do I really trust God? In purity. Do I live a life of
integrity? These are the things that God says I want you to model. And Jesus gave us an
example in all five areas.

Before we can look at the other six we have to settle this issue. Will I choose to follow Christ?
Will I choose to be a model? You can’t be a leader like Jesus until first you know Jesus Christ.
So the question is, will I choose to be an example?

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Leadership is a choice. It starts by making choices that other people choose not to make.
Anybody can be a leader. The issue is do I choose to be one? Do I choose to be a good one?
What do I do? First, you do what Jesus did. You set the example.

The second thing Jesus did, if you want to be a leader…

2. You must give people a greater purpose.

Challenge them to a greater purpose. That’s what leaders do. They help us see beyond
ourselves. They get our thinking off of our bodies, ourselves, and help us think in a bigger way.
They challenge us to a greater cause, to a greater purpose, to a greater project. They catch a
vision to enlist to a greater cause.

Why is this important? We need leaders. I need leaders in my life and you need leaders in your
life. Why? Because we all need people that force us to think beyond ourselves. By nature I'm a
pretty selfish person. I could pretty easily just say, I’ll make money, retire, and die, and just
feather my nest and forget about the rest of you. It’s quite easy to live a self centered life.
Leaders force us to go beyond ourselves to get a cause greater than ourselves that force us
beyond ourselves to do what we could do. We need people in our lives who push us what we
know we could do or think we couldn’t do but God knows we could. They force us to be what
we can be.

We only grow when we are challenged. Everybody needs a challenge. You always need a
challenge in your life. If you don’t have a challenge you’re coasting. And when you’re coasting
there’s only one way to coast – down hill. So if you’re coasting in life right now you’re life is
going down. Not up. It’s going down. Because you’re coasting. So you always need a
challenge in your life.

What leaders do is they challenge other people and they bring out the best in them. And they
challenge them to a greater purpose. You have to have a challenge in your life. That’s why so
many men die pretty quickly after retirement because they haven’t thought through, What am I
going to do with my life after I quit work? And a life without challenge is a life with no reason
to exist.

So you always have to have a challenge in your life where you’re going. Jesus constantly
challenged people. Why? He stretched them. He was always challenging them to do something
with their life. Make your life count. Do something great with your life. Don’t just waste it.

He also knew, because everybody’s unique, everybody needs a different kind of challenge.
Leaders realize that what works with one person won’t work with another or another. You have
to challenge people differently because we’re all different.

Three examples in the next three Bible verses:

Sometimes Jesus challenges your priorities.

How does He challenge your priorities? If he hasn’t done this already He’s going to in your life
at some point. Jesus will challenge your priorities by asking you to give up something: “I want
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you to give up this for something better. For something greater. For the good of others. I want
you to give up this to get this.” That is the challenge of priorities.

One day a wealthy young CEO was walking down the street. He sees Jesus and he says, “Lord, I
want my life to count.” (In so many words.) This guy had everything. He had achieved success.
He had wealth. He had fame. He had pleasure. He had everything He wanted at a fairly young
age. But he was bored. He thought, there’s got to be more to life than this, than I'm living right
now. Because you were made for success. You were made for significance.

A lot of you are like this young CEO. You have achieved at a fairly early age what it took your
parents a lifetime to achieve. You say, “I’ve got it made. I live in Orange County. I’ve got it
made. Now what?” I’ve achieved the ladder of success, now what? There’s got to be more to
life than just success. There is. Far more.

So this CEO comes to Jesus and says, “What do I need to do with my life? How do I make my
life count? How do I inherit eternal life?

Jesus gave him the challenge of priorities. He says to him, “Go and sell what you own and give
the money to the poor and you’ll have treasure in heaven. Then come follow Me.” It’s
interesting that in the entire Bible, Jesus never said this to anybody else. Jesus doesn’t say to all
of us, “Go sell everything you have and give it to the poor and follow Me.” No. He said it to
this one guy. Why? Because it was a unique challenge because it hit that guy’s button. Jesus
knew that that guy lived for money. He lived for wealth. So He hit it right where the guy had
the toughest need – at his priorities. He said, “Ok, here’s a challenge. Go give everything you
have to the poor and come follow Me. And you’ll have something better – treasure in heaven
that’s going to go on forever and ever and ever.” He challenges his priorities.

God will do that to you some time. It may not be go give your money to the poor. But it will be
in some area: I want you to give up this in order to get this.

The second way that Jesus challenges is He challenges our faith.

First He challenges our priority, give up something that’s meaningful. Then He says I want to
challenge your faith. How does He do that? By asking you to do something that is impossible.
That’s how He stretches your faith.

Notice this next verse, “Jesus sent the disciples out with these instructions, ‘Go announce the
kingdom of heaven is near. [That’s pretty easy. And, by the way,..] Heal the sick, raise the
dead, cure those with leprosy, and cast out demons. Give as freely as you have received.”
Would you call that a challenge? I think so! He says give as freely as you have received. You
have been blessed. You are blessed to be a blessing. I want you to give out to others. I’ve bless
your life, now you give to others. He said, I want you to do these things. And while you’re at it,
raise a few dead people, cast out a few demons, do a few really cool things!

How would you feel if Jesus had said that to you? You’d go, “No way, Jose! I can’t do that.
That’s impossible.” And Jesus would say, “Right! You’re right. You can’t. That’s why you
need My Spirit in you.”

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Jesus will test your faith by asking you to do something that seems impossible: “I want you to
go and ask forgiveness of that person.” I can’t do that God. “I want you to start tithing.” I can’t
afford that, God. “I want you to go and talk to that person about Me.” I can’t do that, God.

He’s going to challenge your faith by stretching you and asking you to do something that in your
human logic seems impossible.

Remember the message Pastor Tom gave last weekend about Jesus and the lessons of leadership
in feeding the 5000. Five thousand people had been hearing Jesus all day. They got hungry.
The disciples wanted to cast the responsibility off on somebody else. “Lord, send them all
home! They’re hungry.” And Jesus looked at the disciples and said, “You feed them.” That
was the test of faith. Asking the disciples to do something that seemed impossible. There was
no way twelve guys could feed 5000 guys. Jesus was saying, “I'm testing your faith. You feed
them. You make the first effort and watch what happens. I can take a little and turn it into a
miracle. But you’ve got to start.”

God’s going to do that with you.

There’s a third way He challenges us. He challenges our small thinking.

He challenges our small thinking by giving us a greater vision. He says, I want you to think
bigger than just your little tiny self centered world. “Go and make disciples of all nations.
Baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit and teaching them to
obey everything that I have commanded you.”

When Jesus told His followers to go to all nations it was physically impossible. When Jesus
gave this command there was no way they could do it. There were no planes, trains, and
automobiles. There were no ocean bearing ships they could sail on. There was no way they
could even get to the whole world at this point in history. He’s giving them an impossible
situation. But He’s saying, I want to expand your vision. I want to break down your prejudices.
I want you to think globally.

I’ve been doing this with you for some time now. We’ve talked about the PEACE plan. I say,
God’s going to use you to change the entire world. We’re going to send people out through the
PEACE plan. You say, “That’s great Rick! But not me!” Yes, you. “NO. Not me. Everybody
else.” Yes, you.

Why? Because that’s why you’re here. You’re not here to watch history. You’re here to make
history. That’s why God chose you to be a part of this church. “But I can’t!” Of course you
can’t… on your own. Not on your own power. Not on your own finances. But you don’t know
what God can do through you.

My task as a leader here is to help you see the whole world. This command is for us. He says,
“I'm going to spread it all around.”

Let me give you a little advice. Ever single person in your life, everybody you know has the
same need. They hunger for a higher purpose. Everybody. Everybody hungers for a higher
purpose. They want to know, There’s got to be more to life than just go to school, get a job, get
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married, retire, die. There’s a whole lot more. They’re looking for that cause, that purpose, that
vision that stretches our ability, that makes us what we can be. It is a great vision that makes
great people. It turns ordinary people into great people.

I’ve said before, there’s nothing more significant than the kingdom of God. It’s going to outlast
everything else. That’s why I say in every 101 class I don’t make any apology saying to you that
the most important thing you’ll ever do with your life is join Saddleback church, get involved in
ministry, do your mission in the world, help build what God is dong in the world. Because what
we’re dong here has eternal implications. Heaven and hell. It’s going to outlast everything else.
It’s going to outlast your job. It’s going to outlast your family. It’s going to outlast your hobby.
It’s going to outlast your sports. And everything else.

So God says, I put you on earth for My purpose not your own purpose – for Mine!

Practically, how do you do this? How do you bring out the best in other people. How do you
challenge other people to a greater cause that causes them to use the talents that they’ve been
wasting. There are four practical ways. Pastor Gerald is going to come talk about that.

Gerald: Find a space on your notes to write these down. There are four steps, four things that
you do to help people discover that higher cause, that higher purpose, that higher meaning that
God intends for their life.

1. Think. You have to take time to think about who’s in your life that you want to help.
What you have to know is that every person in your life is there for a reason. No body is in your
life as an accident. Some of the people in your life, God put them there to lead you. Other
people in your life, God put you in their life to lead them. So who is there is your life that God
intends for you to lead. Maybe it’s a co-worker, maybe your spouse, maybe a child, maybe a
friend, maybe a neighbor. Who is that person that you would like to help in their life?

If a name came to mind go ahead and just write it down write now so you don’t forget who that
is. Who is that person that God wants you to think about how you can help them?

2. The second thing you do is pray. When you pray you’re asking God for insights into the
strengths of that person. You’re going to ask God about that because God knows more about
their shape than you do. Or even more about their shape than they know. God knows how He
has put them together in order to have that higher purpose in life. So you pray. And say, God,
help me to know what strength, what talent, what ability that’s in this person’s life that I need to
encourage.

3. Then third you ask. You think, you pray, and then you ask. Ask yourself after you’ve
prayed, where do I see potential in this person’s life? What talent do they have that needs to be
shared with the world? What ability do they have that needs to be taken to the next level? What
strength do they have that if they don’t use it, the world is going to miss out on something and
they’re going to miss out on their higher purpose?

4. The fourth thing you do is the most critical and it’s also the most difficult. That is
suggest. Think, pray, ask, suggest. You suggest a project. You suggest a challenge in that
person’s life that would help develop more of who they are and who God intends for them to be.
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There’s a simple question that you ask to do this. It’s a question that says, “Have you ever
thought about…” That simple question can help change the course of a person’s life.

I know it did for me. When I was in high school I was part of a boy’s civic social club. We did
lots of community activities. One night on the way home the older gentleman who was the
leader of that civic club turned to me and said, “Hey Gerald, have you ever thought about that
maybe God wants you to be a pastor?” That kind of buried me in my seat because at that point
in my life, my high school years were not on track to be a pastor. But that simple question made
me begin to think about my life. He challenged me to think, What is it that God really wants to
do in your life. So you just ask the question, “Have you ever thought about…” Maybe perhaps
these events are lining up in your life so that you can be what God wants you to be and do what
God wants you to do in the world. So you think, you pray, you ask, then you suggest.

I want to pray for you now. I want to pray two things. One, that you will have the courage to be
the leader in somebody’s life that God intends for you to be. And second, that they’ll be
receptive to your leadership.

Father, it is Your intention for all of us to be leaders. Sometimes that is a frightening task.
But, God, it’s Your design. So I pray for courage. I pray for courage for every person here
today that they will do those steps. That they will take time to think and pray and ask and
then the critical step of suggesting. Of making that challenge in a person’s life. I know that
we’re afraid to do that sometimes God so my prayer is that when we do that You’ll make the
person receptive to hear what we have to say so that they will discover that higher purpose
that You have for them. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Rick: Here’s the third thing you’re going to have to do if you’re going to learn to be a leader.

3. Affirm people for their potential

You give them an example, you challenge them to a greater purpose, then you affirm them for
their potential.

When somebody believes in you and somebody affirms you it causes you to do more than you
think you can do. When somebody says, “I believe in you! You can do this. I know you can do
this.” They believe in you, what that does is it causes you to have courage and it brings out the
best in you.

Back in the 40s and the 50s the Green Bay Packers were such a loser team. Over twelve years
they only won thirty percent of their games. They lost seventy percent of the time. Twelve years
in a row – terrible record. In 1958 they had an embarrassing one win and ten loses. But the very
next year they got a new coach. His name was Vince Lombardi. Over the next nine years they
had nine winning seasons. They won seventy-five percent of their games. They won five
national championships in a row, including the first two superbowls.

What happened? What turned a losing team with twelve years of failure into the most winning
team for nine years in a row? How in the world did that happen?

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They got a leader. And they got a leader who believed in their potential. He set an example. He
challenged them with a greater purpose. And he believed in their potential. He affirmed them.
He said, “You guys can do this. You’re better than this. I know. You’re not losers, you’re
winners. You can do this.” And they started winning.

When I work out I’ve got this trainer (I know that is hard to believe). I like this guy. The only
thing I don't like about him is he keeps adding on more weight. I'm very happy lifting five
pounds. I don’t even break a sweat. I'm thinking about doubling it – going to ten. He keeps
adding on more and more weight. I'm going, “I can’t do that!” And he goes, “Oh, yeah, you
can.” He thinks that I can lift more than I do. And he’s right. If I didn’t have him I wouldn’t be
lifting that much.

You need somebody in your life that’s pushing you. Have you got anybody in your life that
pushes you spiritually? Who stirs you? Are you dong that with anybody else? Are you
affirming the potential of other people?

As a leader you can do this. You know you can affirm people just by the way you look at them.
Just by looking people in the eye. There’s very little eye contact today. When you look people
in the eye and you talk with them directly you’re saying, “I value you. You matter to me.
You’re worth giving my time for.” When you look people in the eye, you’re saying, “I'm
listening. You’re important.” Attention is one of the greatest acts of love – hear that husbands?
Attention is one of the greatest acts of love. When you look people in the eye and you don’t just
blow them off but you really pay attention to them, you can actually affirm them.

Jesus modeled this. The Bible says in Mark 10:21. He’s talking to this wealthy CEO, the young
guy I told you about earlier. “Jesus looked steadily at him and He was filled with love for him.”
Circle “steadily.” That means He didn’t just give him a casual glance. He didn’t glance, He
gazed. He wasn’t in a hurry. He gazed at this guy and the Bible says He loved him and paid
attention to him and that expressed value.

Here’s the truth. Everybody in your life, all the people you come in contact with, every single
one of them, have enormous potential. Everybody in your life has far more potential than they
realize or than you realize. The reason we miss it is we’re in a hurry. We’re in a hurry. So we
blow right past them. We hear them but we don’t gaze, we don't look. We don't pay attention
and size them up and go, “God, what do You want to do in this person’s life?” Why don't you
try that this week? When you’re talking to somebody at work or in your neighborhood or a
friend. And they’re talking, you look them in the eye and you go (in your mind ) “God, what do
You want to do in this person’s life? How could You use me to affirm them to make them better
than they are? To help them go to the next step, to the next level?”

There’s a word for that – people building. There’s an even better word for that – leadership.
Leaders bring out the best in other people.

Here’s the key for affirming the potentials of others. Parents, are you listening? You want to
bring out the best in your kids? You want to bring out the best in your wife, your husband, your
friend, your girlfriend – whatever? Treat them the way you want them to become, not the way
they are. You want your wife to treat you like a king? Treat her like a queen. Labeling just

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reinforces things. Labeling doesn’t work. But positive labeling has tremendous impact. You
treat them the way you want them to become.

Jesus one day walks up to Peter who is Mr. Impetuous, Mr. Impulsive, My Foot in the Mouth.
This is the guy who is so wishy-washy. He says, “Let me walk on water.” Then he sinks. He
says, “I’ll never deny You!” Then he denies Jesus three times. He says, “I’ll defend You.” And
he cuts off the ear of a soldier and Jesus goes, “Chill out, Peter! Don’t you think I can handle
this?” He’s always letting his actions get ahead of his mind, and his mouth gets ahead of
everything else. He’s Mr. Impulsive. And Peter, whose name was Petras, Jesus said “You’re
going to be Petros.” Petras means pebble. (By the way, it’s what we get the word petroleum
from – petros, the rock) He says, you’re a pebble. You’re going to be petros – the rock. The
rock of Gibraltar, steady, unmovable, unchanging. An icon of stability. Peter was anything but
an icon of stability. Yet Jesus looks at him and goes Peter, I see in you the potential to be a rock.
A rock for God. Nothing can move you. You are solid as a rock. He brought out his potential.

Jesus looks the same way at you. When God looks down at you He doesn’t go, “I really messed
up on that one, didn’t I? Then they took it to the second level and messed up with a bunch of
dumb choices.” No, God looks at you and He sees the spark and He says, “I see what you can
become.”

Labeling doesn’t work. Men, does nagging work? Nagging never works. And, by the way, it
doesn’t work from the pulpit either. That’s why we don’t use it here. I could stand up here and
nag you guys. I could say, “You’re a sorry excuse for a believer! You’re a spiritual midget.
You are puny for the Lord. You don't have a quiet time, you never talk to anybody about the
Lord, you don’t tithe, you’re not in a small group, you’re not serving, on and on.” And go down
this laundry list and nag you. But it doesn’t work. Labeling just reinforces what you are.

But if somebody comes to you or to me or to anybody and says, “I see in you the potential for
greatness. It’s greater than you have ever even imagined. You’ve never thought of yourself in
these terms. But God wants to turn you into a spiritual mature woman of God. God wants to
turn you into a spiritually strong man of God. I see in you the potential that you could be a
leader that influences everybody that you come in contact with. Everybody. You have, with
Jesus Christ in your life and His Spirit living in you day by day, you could influence people for
good and for God in a way that you can’t even imagine. If you just make those choices to be a
leader.” That motivates me – maybe I could. Maybe I could do that.

A lot of people say, “I just believe in telling it like it is.” That’s a cruddy way to live. Don't tell
it like it is. That just reinforces the negative. Tell it like it could be. That’s faith. Tell it like it
could be. “I see in you this potential.” Tell it like it could be. “According to your faith it will be
done unto you.”

Jesus did it. After He gave all these assignments about go out and heal the sick and raise the
dead and cure people and stuff like that He says this in John 14 “Anyone who has faith in Me will
do what I’ve been doing. In fact, he will even do greater things than Me because I'm going to
My father.” That’s affirmation. He said, You guys can do what I did. I know you can do it. In
fact, you’re going to do greater things than I did.

How is that possible? How is it possible for Christians today to do greater things than Jesus?
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I’ll tell you why. We do it through prayer which has no limit. I can pray right now and effect
somebody in Bangladesh. I can pray right now and effect somebody in Belgium. When Jesus
Christ was here on earth, when God was in human flesh, He was limited to that one location.
Jesus could only be in one place at a time. But when He goes back to heaven and He puts His
Spirit in me and in you and a billion other believers then now He can be everywhere. He can be
in me and you, somebody down the street, somebody in Mexico, somebody in Russia. He can be
doing things all over the world at the same time because He’s in all of His followers. That’s
much greater work.

But Jesus says I believe in you guys. I'm building your confidence. You’ll do what I’ve done
and you’ll do even greater things. Great leaders make people feel great. That’s what they do.

Part of leadership is helping people recognize their uniqueness. God didn’t make you to be like
anybody else. He made you to be you. Part of the job for a leader, for me for instance, is to help
you recognize your uniqueness and part of your job as a leader is to help other people recognize
their uniqueness.

Those of you who are parents… God did not intend for you to make your children in your image.
He doesn’t want little mini-me’s of you. No. Your job as a parent is not to mold kids in your
image but to help them discover what God made them to be. People are not things to be molded,
they are lives to be unfolded. How are they unfolded? Through affirmation. Not through
criticism. Through affirmation.

Proverbs 12:25 “A word of encouragement does wonders.” My good friend Ken Blanchard who
wrote The One Minute Manager and a bunch of other books he always says, Catch people doing
something right. We always do the opposite. We catch them doing something wrong. But catch
people doing something right and affirm it.

Did you know that for over 20 years I have kept a little file I call My Encouragement File. In
that Encouragement File any time anybody graciously writes me a word of encouragement I keep
it. I don’t keep any critical letters. They go in the wastebasket immediately. But I keep all the
encouraging letters. I put them in this file. Then when I’m feeling discouraged or I'm feeling
tired, kind of down, I pull out that file and I pull out all the notes I’ve collected over all the years.
And I read both of those notes over and over and over and over. I read them and it cheers me up
knowing that at least once in my life, both my mother and my wife thought I did something right.

You need an Encouragement File. You do! More than that, this is a mark of leadership. You
need to be contributing to other people’s encouragement file. Every time you encourage other
people, you are leading. You’re a leader. And everybody needs to be encouraged.

Let me give you some ways to encourage. First encouragement has to be real. Real. You can’t
give phony, fake encouragement. It has to be genuine. It has to be from the heart, not
manipulative. You really mean it. It’s sincere. It’s genuine.

Second, the encouragement needs to be regular. Don’t be stingy with encouragement. Give
it out all the time. Tell the people you work with. Encourage the people. Encourage your
family. Encourage your friends. Encourage your small group. Give it real and give it regular.
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Then it needs to be recognizable. Be specific. Don’t just say, “I like you.” Tell them why
you like them. Be specific. Don't get vague like some of those cards I read at the beginning of
the service. It needs to be recognizable.

A fourth thing is it’s good sometimes to have it written. Actually write it down. Send an
email. Write a note. When you write a note it says, I took the time to care.

You know who is the best pro at written encouragement – the apostle Paul. He wrote
encouragement letters and it’s now called the New Testament. In every letter of the New
Testament that Paul wrote he goes, “I believe in you guys. I know that you can do this. I have
confidence in you. What God began in you He’s going to keep on doing.” Never underestimate
the power of a simple little note.

I remember when Shirley Chase, a wonderful saint of our church, died a while back. They went
through her Bible and they found a note that I had written to her years and years ago and she kept
it in her Bible all those years.

About fifteen years ago there was a young seminary student who put a call into the church. He
was discouraged. I didn’t know the guy. Nobody in our church knew him. He was discouraged.
He and his wife had been headed to Texas to go to seminary. They were driving a U-Haul truck
that went off in a ditch and turned over and blew up and caught on fire and they lost everything
they owned about fifteen miles out of town before they got to the seminary. Lost everything.
Then they got to the seminary and it didn’t turn out the way they’d wanted it to be. The wife got
a little worried about it and she went back home to Colorado. He was there alone at seminary.
He didn’t know what to do and he was discouraged. He said, “Do I go home to my wife. Do I
stay in school? What should I do?” I thought, I don’t know this guy. He was just a kid. So I
took out a sheet of paper and it took me maybe two minutes. I wrote a note and said, “The tide
goes out but it always comes back in. Just hang on. Go home and be with your wife. If God
wants you in ministry, He’ll work it out in His own time. You don’t have to worry about it. Just
do the right thing. Go be with your wife and don’t be discouraged and don't give up.”

That guy did take that advice. Later he got transferred to Orange County. He was working at a
job. He worked for the Orange County sheriff for a dozen years. He started attending
Saddleback. His wife got involved here then he got involved here. Little did I know that fifteen
years later, that guy David Shaun would end up being my chief of staff here at Saddleback.
Never underestimate the power of a note. In fact, if you go in to David’s office, he’s got that
note framed on his desk. Never under estimate the power of affirming the potential of other
people.

Tom: There’s a fourth leadership skill that we learn from Jesus.

4. Trust them with responsibility.

Trust people with responsibility because nothing develops you faster than having somebody trust
you with responsibility.

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One of the greatest, most influential leaders of my life was my mom. I bet that’s true for a lot of
you. If you’re out there during this series thinking, “I'm a mom. I don't know if this series
relates to me?” Are you kidding. You’re the greatest leaders in our culture. Don't miss the
leadership that you have and the difference that makes. I remember when I was in high school
and my mom would say, “Mow the lawn in the back yard.” I’d go two or three days and didn’t
get it done. She’s say, “Weed the beds in the back yard.” I’d go two or three days and not get it
done.

Finally she took me out to the back yard and said, “Tom, see this back yard? This back yard is
your responsibility. When people come to our house I'm going to tell them, ‘This back yard is
Tom’s responsibility.’” I was mowing the lawns and wedding the beds. All of a sudden having
that responsibility made me see things in an entirely different way. You trust people with
responsibility.

People respond to responsibility. The truth is our expectations have an incredible influence on
others. More than you’d ever expect or realize. Research tells us that people tend to live up to
what is expected of them. What are you expecting of the people around you, the people that you
love, the people that you lead?

Look at the example of Jesus. The Bible says in Matthew 16:19 He said to His disciples, “I'm
giving you the keys to the kingdom of heaven. Whatever you lock on earth will be locked in
heaven. And whatever you open on earth will be opened in heaven.” Talk about responsibility!
He’s talking about people’s hearts. He’s saying, “I'm giving you the good news. You share it
with people, it’s going to unlock their hearts and they’re going to be with Me in the kingdom of
heaven for eternity. If you don’t share it they’re not going to know it.”

Jesus is saying, “I'm going to be resurrected and I’m going back to heaven. I'm leaving this
responsibility of people’s eternal relationship with Me in your hands. And there is no Plan B. It
is your responsibility.”

Jesus gives us incredible responsibility. Did Jesus know that we sometimes fail, that we as
people sometime fail in our responsibilities? Of course. He’s God. He knows that. But part of
bringing out the best in people is realizing they’re going to fail. In fact, allowing them to fail.
Our tendency of all of us as human beings is to want to protect people from making mistakes.
We want to make sure that no mistakes happen. Then if any mistakes happen we want to rush in
real quickly and bail them out of those mistakes. But the truth is, if people are going to learn in
my life and your life one of the jobs of a leader is to trust people with responsibilities where
sometimes they might even fail. When we bail people out it prevents them from learning
valuable lessons.

The fact is failure is a part of life. We’ve all failed. We’ve all experienced failure in life. For
you and I who are parents this is incredibly important. Parents, let me just remind you. Failure
isn’t fatal. I would rather have our kids fail sometimes at home when we give them
responsibility than wait and fail and not know how to handle it. Not know how to respond to it
when they get outside of our home. Failure isn’t fatal.

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I see some kids setting out there. If you’re thinking, “I'm going to tell my parents Pastor Tom
said it’s ok to get an F because failure isn’t fatal.” If you’re thinking that you’re smart enough to
get an A.

We do need to give the opportunity for people to fail. That’s part of responsibility. A survey of
grandparents was done and the question was, “What would you do differently as you raised your
kids?” Their number one answer was, “I’d do less for my children and teach them to do more for
themselves.”

Of course, you have to give people gradual steps of responsibility. Jesus did that. Luke 16:10
the Bible says “Whoever can be trusted with a little can also be trusted with a lot.” One of the
most important life skills that anybody’s going to learn is accepting responsibility and the only
way to learn it is by giving and being given the opportunity. And Jesus teaches us to do that.

When you take responsibility for others, you take responsibility away from them. That’s not
leading. That’s doing. That’s not leading. All of us – everyone of us here, everyone of us in all
the venues – we need to be trusted. We need someone who lets us prove ourselves. We need
someone who lets us develop confidence. That’s love. That’s expression is not just of
leadership but also of love.

1 Corinthian 13:7 “If you love someone you will always believe in him. You will always expect
the best of him.” Do you want to learn from the leadership example of Jesus. He teaches us in
the thing of responsibility in the long run, we’re far off trusting people with too much than with
too little.

Rick: The fifth characteristic, or skill, you’re going to need as a leader…

5. Give people honest feedback.

This is a little bit harder. Give people honest feedback. Nobody’s perfect. We all need
occasional correction.

One time the disciples were trying to do this miracle and they couldn’t do it. So they came back
to Jesus and said, “What’s up! You told us to go do this and we couldn’t do it.” Jesus gave them
some honest feedback. He said this in Matthew 17 “‘It was because you do not have enough
faith,’ answered Jesus. ‘I assure you that if you have faith as a mustard seed you could do
anything.’”

Notice – He follows a negative with positive. That’s how you give honest feedback. He said the
reason you couldn’t do it was you didn’t have enough faith. But if you have faith as a mustard
seed, just a little bit of faith, you’ll be able to do anything. Negative must always be followed by
a positive. That’s how you give honest feedback.

Yesterday morning I was in Denver speaking at the NBA All Stars. I’d been invited by Irvin
Johnson to come in and speak to all the NBA chaplains. All the different team chaplains were
there with their wives. I went in and spoke to them and by the way, I gave up six free tickets to
the NBA All Star game today in order to speak to you. I don’t get any credit in heaven because I
told you. But I get credit from you. As I was thinking about basketball the greatest basketball
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coach in history was John Wooden. I’ve got one of his signed basketballs in my study. John
Wooden was an amazing man, coach at UCLA, great basketball coach, helped the Bruens to
seven consecutive national titles – seven in a row. Actually he won ten championships out of
twelve years. That is a record that will probably never ever be broken in basketball. There were
two sports psychologists who went to study Wooden’s coaching, his leadership techniques to
find out why did he consistently produce such outstanding players year after year after year.
They discovered that one of the keys was how he gave feedback. It was what he called correct-
instruct which was this, Don’t do it this way, instead, do it this way.

That’s what Jesus did – negative-positive. Don't do it this way, instead do it this way. Then
He’d show them, model. You just can’t tell your kids, “Don’t do that!” Do this instead. It’s the
negative followed by the positive.

The Bible tells us that people learn from one another as iron sharpens iron. The Bible tells us
that an honest answer is the sign of a true friendship. And the Bible tells us to speak the truth in
love. How you give feedback determines whether it’s good or bad. The right way you build up
people. The wrong way, you could destroy them. The wrong way you could scar them for life.

There’s been a study that was done that came out with this formula. If you give a positive stroke
to somebody for doing good that equals an emotional one point. If you give a positive stroke to
somebody for being what they are, that’s a positive ten points. But if you give a negative stroke
for doing something wrong, that’s a negative ten points. But if you give a negative stroke for
being what they are that’s a negative one hundred points.

That’s why you remember a single criticism more than you remember a hundred complements.
Because they have greater emotional weight. So you have to be very, very careful.

Here’s the key: you correct without condemning. That’s what good leaders do. Correct without
condemning. Jesus did this all the time. He corrected without condemning. He spoke the truth
in love. How do you do that? How do you correct without condemning?

First thing you have to check your own motive and say, Why am I saying this in the first place?
Am I doing this just to get even? Just to relieve steam and blow off pressure because I'm
frustrated? Never correct in anger. If you’re correcting in anger as a parent or as an employer or
anything else, you’re wrong. Because what you’re dong is your own motivation is getting
involved in that and the anger adds that and makes it a hundred negative points. So you correct
without condemning.

Admit it. When you’re frustrated it feels good to just let out your frustrations in anger. But what
you do that always creates anger back and it always creates resentment and you lose in the long
run and what you sow you’re going to reap.

So here’s how you do it. You affirm the person, correct the behavior. That’s how you do it.
Affirm the person, correct the behavior. Whether you do this with a friend, a fellow co-worker,
or a child, or a student in class. Affirm the person, correct the behavior.

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That’s how you give honest feedback and you watch your words when you do that. The Bible
says in Ephesians 4:29 “Don’t use harmful words, use only helpful words the kind that builds
up.”

Quickly, let me give you the last two skills, just write these in.

6. The sixth step of leadership is treat people as equals.

Real leaders don’t act superior. They don’t try to pretend like they’re better than anybody else.
They’re humble. They treat everybody the same. John 15:15, Jesus said, “I do not call you
servants. Instead I call you friends.” That’s got to be one of the most amazing verses in the
Bible. That God would call me a friend. That God would call you a friend. That God would
want to be our friend. God says I'm not calling you servants, I'm calling you friends. That’s an
amazing thing.

Treating others as equal means that as a leader, you share the credit. You accept the blame but
you share the credit. Leaders never blame anybody else. Never. You don’t blame others. You
accept the blame. The buck stops here. But you share the credit. God can do great things
through the person who doesn’t care who gets the credit. If you don’t care who gets the credit
for the good that God does through you, God will use you in amazing ways. He will use you in
ways you can’t imagine. If you don’t care who gets the credit.

Did you know that the Bible says God’s going to share credit with you one day. “When Christ
who is your real life is revealed to the whole world you will share in all His glory.” Whoa! The
Bible says that one day those who follow Christ are going to share in Christ’s glory for eternity.

What does that mean? It’s like the movie theater marquee that says, “Now staring for eternity,
Jesus Christ. Co staring…” your name. That’s pretty amazing. God says that for those who
have follow My Son you will share in all His glory.

Finally the last thing real leaders do…

7. You pray for people.

You pray for your employees. You pray for your friends. You pray for those in your small
group. You pray for the students in your classroom. You pray for your other sales people. You
pray for your coworkers and friends and your neighbors and your relatives. You pray for your
children, as a leader. Jesus said, “I pray for you Simon that your faith may not fail.” All through
scripture we have examples of Jesus praying for those He was leading.

And did you know that Jesus has prayed for you? “I'm praying not only for these disciples but
also for all who will ever believe in Me because of their testimony.” That includes you. Did you
know that Jesus Christ has prayed for you personally?

These are the seven skills of leadership. It’s your choice. Do you want to be a leader. You start
doing these seven things with other people. You become a people builder. So my question is
this, What are you going to do with your life? You can be a wealth builder. You can be a

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reputation builder. You can be a bodybuilder. Or you can be a people builder. And that is the
greatest use of your life.

Why? Because it’s the only thing that’s going to last. People are going to last forever in heaven
or hell. People are going to last forever. Everything else you see is eventually going to burn up.
But people are going to last forever. It’s the greatest use of your life.

So don’t ever waste a second of your life on things that aren’t going to last forever, that aren’t
eternal. Don't waste your life trying to acquire things that are temporary and only last for here
and now. Don’t waste your life trying to get wealth as if that’s the goal of life. It’s not going to
last. You’re not taking any of it with you. Wealth is not going to last. Pleasure is not going to
last. Fame is not going to last. Status is not going to last. One minute you’re a hero. The next
minute you’re a zero. Don’t ever waste a second of your life on fame.

Friday, I was taking the plane to Denver. Tom and I were sitting there. One of the flight
attendants recognized me and came up and asked for my autograph. Later during the flight
another flight attendant recognized me, knelt down by the chair and began to tell me her story
about how Purpose Driven Life and changed her life and she was going on mission trips now and
she asked for my autograph. A little bit later a guy across the aisle and a seat back stood up and
he asked me for an autograph. Sitting behind me watching all of this, right behind me, is Dennis
Rodman. And I'm sure he’s going, “Who’s the fat over-aged guy? What’s up with this?
Nobody’s asking for my autograph.” So I gave him a book. Then Dennis gave me a nose ring.

Fame is so fleeting. Don’t ever waste a second of your life trying to be famous or wealthy or for
pleasure because it’s not going to last. You only live her seventy, eighty years, maybe a
hundred. But you’re going to spend thousands of years in eternity, millions, trillions. Invest in
people.

Imagine this, what if everybody in the Saddleback church family, everybody here and all of our
venues over all of our campus that we decided today, every one of us is going to become a
leader. Every one of us is going to be a leader in our area of influence. This week we’re going
to go out and we’re going to be people builders. Everybody we come in contact with we’re
going to try to set an example, challenge them to be bigger than themselves, believe in their
potential, affirm them, expect the best, trust them with some responsibility, pray for them, give
them feedback when they need it, all of these things. What kind of impact would this church
have? Not just in Orange County but in the entire nation and around the world. We could
change the world with just this many leaders.

And God is calling you to do that.

Prayer:

If you’d say, “Rick, I'm willing to do this. I’ll throw my hat in the ring, I will dedicate the
rest of my life to bringing out the best in everybody that I come in contact with. Waitresses,
neighbors, clients, family, and friends. I'm going to actively look for constructive ways to
build other people up. I want to lead like Jesus.” Would you pray this prayer in your heart?
“God, I want my life to be an example. I know I'm not perfect. But at least I'm trying. And
I want to head in the right direction. Help me to challenge the people around me to a greater
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purpose, to live for You not themselves. Help me to recognize the potential in all of the
people around me to slow down to not be busy, to gaze, to notice people and to affirm them
for their potential. And offer words of encouragement and to write notes of encouragement.
Help me to trust other people with responsibility. And not worry about when they let me
down. Help me to offer honest feedback and to be open to it myself. And to use helpful
words not harmful ones. And to correct without condemning. Help me to treat everybody
around me as an equal and to pray for those that You put in my pathway.”

With our heads still bowed, let me ask you a few questions, Who do you need to start being
an example to? Somebody you know. A friend. Somebody you work with. You may be
the only believer they know. Who do you need to think about and their life and then
challenge them to do something great? You see them and they’re wasting their talent and
you need to challenge them. Be a leader. Who do you need to affirm their potential? And
to give a word of encouragement or write a note of encouragement to? Is there anybody that
you see heading off in the wrong direction that you need to give some honest feedback in
love. That’s leadership. Do it now. If you want to start as a leader you might want to
become a small group host. I would encourage you. That’s a starting point. Write the word
“HOST” on a card and we’ll get you some information on how to get some training to be a
host of a small group. It’s a good leadership step. The truth is these actions that I shared
with you today are just how God treats you. God just wants you to do with others what He
does with you.

Heavenly Father, I thank You for our church family. As I look out on this group I see these
faces, I see such enormous potential. There is enormous potential here, far more than is
needed to rock the world, to bring a spiritual awakening and a spiritual revival and renewal
in the church. I pray that every person in our Saddleback family would be a leader. And
that this week every one of us would be people-builders with those who You bring into our
path. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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