Universidad de Sta Isabel

RE108 PASTORAL INVOLVEMENT AND INTEGRATION

Bicol Medical Center

HOSPITAL PASTORAL EXPOSURE PROGRAM AND PASTORAL APOSTOLATE II (HEPPA 2)

PRELIMS POG EXAM

Fr. Tirso P. Elopre

Instructor/Professor

OB BSN-4F

December 13, 2011 2nd Semester A/y 2011-2012

Universidad de Sta Isabel

RE108 PASTORAL INVOLVEMENT AND INTEGRATION

Bicol Medical Center

HOSPITAL PASTORAL EXPOSURE PROGRAM AND PASTORAL APOSTOLATE II (HEPPA 2)

________________________________________________________________________ PRELIMS POG EXAM POG Name: OB December 13 , 2011 Raw Score: ____Transmuted Gr:_______ Prof/Instructor: Fr. Tirso P. Elopre POG Members: s1:Manalili, Ma. Danica Faye V. , s2:Ibona, Cyril s3: Diaz, Merialynne s4: Jove, Alessadra m1:Sta. Ana, Marvin Chapter 1 The Importance of Forgiveness in Our Lives No one in this world is free from pains, hatred, frustrations, disappointments and problems. By spending time with people and listen to them as they pour out their feelings, youll know that how burden emotionally they was. Forgiveness is a way to have a peaceful heart, mind and life. Perpetuating the Grief Some of us, when hurt, we tend to think of things to revenge or express our feelings. We end up mimicking our offender. As time goes by, we become mean and end up hurting ourselves and other people around us. Living with Constant Resentment Resentment is a form of disguised anger that festers around a badly healed wound. Anger is a healthy emotion that disappears once it has been expressed. Resentment results to defensive attitudes due to the heavy feelings they have in them. Staying Mired in the Past Some people who have not forgiven those people in their past hinders them to move forward with their lives because they tend to cling in the past which contributes to the present burden they are feeling. Seeking Revenge The satisfactions that revenge can give to a person are only for a short period of time. Revenge also can lead to violence. Chapter 2 A Tale of Forgiveness: Al and Adele Al is a hard-working man, silent, honest and faithful husband to a lady, Adele who has a warm smile. Due to Als silence and busyness at working, on day, he came home early instead of working until dusk and found out his wife with other man in bed. As his wife asks for his forgiveness, his feelings turn into pain and anger. Gossips were all around the village and expecting him that hell separate with his wife. Contrary to the gossips, he together with his wife walk along the church with head held high. An angel is sent out to him. The angel drops a stone on his heart every time he cast his harsh and somber gaze on Adele. On and on, Al feels the heaviness in his heart. One day, the angel appeared to him. The angel enlightens him and teaches him on how to look at Adele the other way around as a woman who needs tenderness and love. They had an agreement that as he looks at Adele with this kind of eyes, a stone will be removed from his heart. Al has learned to look at Adele with these new perspectives and stones were removed from his heart. Al changed and Adele felt the change too. They were reminded of the moment they first fell in love with each other. A good relationship was again established. This is the time the miracle of forgiveness has taken place.

Chapter 3 Unmasking False Notion of Forgiveness Forgiving is not forgetting Forgiveness does not demand them to forget their offense. Those who say " I forgive but I do not forget" show a sound mental health. Forgiveness is not denial Forgiveness: "to forgive is to cancel all requirements, conditions and expectations held in the mind that block off the attitude of love. Forgiveness that requires the repression or amputation of a part of the self strikes as very dangerous. Forgiveness takes more than willpower Our first sense of forgiveness is born of such childhood experiences. The mistake was in turning forgiveness into a simple act of will stead of making it the culmination of a learning experience. Forgiveness cannot be given on command It is not advisable to reduce forgiveness or any other spiritual practice, to spiritual obligation. God's forgiveness is not a conditioned by puny human acts of forgiveness. Forgiveness does not take us back to where we were before the offence We can forgive a person who is absent, whether dead or unknown for instance. In and of itself forgiveness is not synonymous with reconciliation. Forgiveness does not mean giving up our right Forgiveness that does not fight injustice shows weakness and false tolerance. It encourages the offender to repeat the crime. This is what some bishops failed to understand when they did not intervene quickly or decisively. Forgiveness does not mean excusing the offender False excuses often serve as clever and well-camouflaged tricks for reducing suffering. Convincing ourselves that the offender is not responsible is easier to deal with than accepting that he or she inflicted the injury consciously and freely. Forgiveness does not demonstrate moral superiority Authentic forgiveness from the heart stems from humility and opens the path to genuine reconciliation. Forgiveness does not mean leaving it to God Far from being a manifestation of power, real forgiveness is first and foremost an act off inner strength.

Chapter 4 Forgiveness a Human and Spiritual Adventure The Starting Point: Deciding Not to Seek Revenge Fidel De Castro " Forgiving means breaking the spiral of violence, refusing to fight with hateful weapons of our adversary, retaining or recapturing your freedom even while you are in chains." Going Back Into Ourselves To free our offender, we must first be free ourselves.

Looking for a new Vision of Human Relationships Forgiveness turns the situation around, creating a new relationship with the offender. Banking on the Value of the Offender To be able to forgive, we must continue to believe in the dignity of the person who hurt, oppressed or betrayed us. Reflecting Divine Mercy Authentic forgiveness insists that we overcome our fear of being humiliated yet again. Forgiveness stands at the crossroads between the human and the spiritual.

Chapter 5 Assessing the Offense We often think of forgiveness as something that someone who has done us wrong must ask of US. There is always another way of looking at something. My thoughts on forgiveness suggest that you focus on offering forgiveness to the person who has wronged you.

When the Offender is Someone you Love Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It is not someone else. It is not complicated. It is simple. Simply identify the situation to be f orgiven and ask yourself: "Am I willing to waste my energy further on answer is "No," then that's it! All is forgiven. When the Offender is a Stranger Forgiveness is an act of the imagination. It dares you to imagine a one that is based on the blessed possibility that your hurt will not be the final word on the matter. It challenges you to give up your destructive thoughts about the situation and to believe in the possibility of a better future. It builds confidence that you can survive the pain and grow from it. When the Offence is buried in the Past Telling someone is a bonus! It is not necessary for forgiveness to begin the process that heals the hurt. Forgiveness has little or nothing to do with another person because forgiveness is an internal matter. Chapter 6 Who Needs Forgiveness Forgive the Family Members Choice is always present in forgiveness. You do not have to forgive and there are consequences. Refusing to forgive by holding on to the anger, resentment and a sense of betrayal can make your own life miserable. A vindictive mind-set creates bitterness and lets the betrayer claim one more victim. Forgive Close Friends and Acquaintances Some will argue that in the case of child abuse, the Holocaust, Saddam Hussain, 9-11, etc, the abuser has no "right" to forgiveness - such blessings can only be earned - that forgiveness only leads to further victimization. Such acts are heinous and despicable and with time (and in many cases, therapy and coaching) they can be forgiven. Every day you may have to forgive again. Forgive Strangers

The greatest misconception about forgiveness is the belief that forgiving the offense, such as an affair, means that you condone it. Not true. In fact, we can only forgive what we know to be wrong. Forgiveness does not mean that you have to reconcile with someone who badly treated you. Forgive Institutions Another misconception is that it depends on whether the person who did you wrong apologizes, wants you back, or changes his or her ways. If another persons poor behavior were the primary determinant for your healing the unkind and selfish people in your life would retain power over you indefinitely. Forgiveness is the experience of finding peace inside and can neither be compelled nor stopped by another. Forgive Traditional Enemies Believe that to withhold forgiveness is to choose to continue to remain the Remember, you always have choice. Forgive God When you forgive you do it for you, not for the other. The person you have never forgiven . . . owns you! How about an affair? Just because you choose to forgive, does not mean you have to stay in the relationship. That is only and always your choice. The choice to forgive is only and always yours. Forgive Yourself When you feel that forgiveness is necessary, do not forgive for "their" sake. Do it for yourself! It would be great if they would come to you and ask forgiveness but you must accept the fact that some people will never do that. That is their choice. They do not need to be forgiven. They did what they did and that is it - except for the consequences, which they must live with. Chapter 7 An Experience of True Forgiveness To Facilitate a Good Experience of Forgiveness The most important part of this experience is to follow the movements of your heart closely to learn about yourself and accept yourself as you are in your journey. For this exercise, I recommend you to choose a minor offense, just as you start a fitness program by trying to lift fifty-kilo weights or run a marathon; don't start by trying to forgive people. The hurts won't heal until you forgive! Recovery from wrongdoing that produces genuine forgiveness takes time. For some, it may take years. Don't rush it. Constantly reliving your wounded feelings gives the person who caused you pain power over you. Instead of mentally replaying your hurt, it helps to focus your energy on the healing, not the hurt! Chapter 8 Step One Do Not Seek Revenge: Put an End to the Offending Action Morality is simply the ability to distinguish the differed based upon a person's individual understanding of the ideas. This being said, many people could decide to take the biblical quote from Exodus 21:24 eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot. Given that some could qualify that their right for revenge is Biblically based, they could justifiably make the revenge a sole purpose in life. This being said, on the flip side of this, one could also become obsessed by revenge and fail to adhere to another quote from the Bible: Thou shall not covet. (Exodus 20:17)

Loosely translated, one who covets (yearning to posses) revenge fails to adhere to the same standard which allows them the right of revenge (Biblically). All of this stated, if one cannot distinguish the difference between right and wrong then nothing can be considered "wrong". Morality has no basis here if this is the case.

Chapter 9 Step two Recognize your pain and poverty DEFENSE MECHANISMS Psychologically, defense or resistance mechanisms act as fuses that prevent excessive currents from overloading the electrical circuit. These mechanisms paralyze the destructive effects of overwhelming feelings so that the whole organism can survive. This psychological resistance falls into two main categories: cognitive resistance and emotional resistance. COGNITIVE RESISTANCE There is forgetting: some people claim forgetting the offense or its impact would be the ideal act of forgiving. Then there are the excuses: people try to invent all sorts of false excuses to relieve the offenders of responsibility. Finally, a similar trap consists of erasing a conflict with a quick and superficial gesture of forgiveness EMOTIONAL RESISTANCE Anger and the desire for revenge often serve to hide our shame. The desire for power is another camouflage for shame. We need to first clean up our own emotional universe before we can truly forgive. Chapter 10 Step three Share Your Pain with Someone There are many possible reactions to put-down, a betrayal or an attack. Between the defensive reaction of the people who isolate themselves and that of those longsuffering souls who play the martyr lies a healthier option that has more potential for healing: sharing your pain with someone who knows how to listen to you without judging, moralizing, overwhelming you with advice, or minimizing your difficulties, however disturbing they may be. The success of the emotional phase of forgiveness will depend in large part on your opening up honestly to an attentive listener. WHY SHARE YOUR WOUNDED INNER SELF? When you tell your story to someone who agrees to play the part of the Ear, you are no longer alone. Telling someone about yourself lets you relive the painful event more calmly. This will help you become aware of the emotions that are just below the surface of your being. The past comes alive and is made present. You relive the painful experience, but this time in safer way. Thanks to the trust you place in your confidant, you will become more confident. SHARING WITH THE OFFENDER James Sullivan states in Journey to Freedom that the success of emotional forgiveness depends on three essential conditions: that the offender recognize their fault, express their regret and decide to never repeat the offence again. Things should be prepared thoroughly inside your heart: praying, you should took care to weigh your words carefully; from the outset and delivering the words using the non- confrontational I. In doing so, you can avoid any hurtful counter accusations. WHEN SHARING WITH THE OFFENDER IS IMPOSSIBLE It gets complicated when offenders refuse to acknowledge what they have done or are absent, unreachable, unknown or dead. When you are faced with an unrepentant and stubborn offender, your last recourse is to commend them to Gods care, as the Jewish saying recommends: if your offender does not want to reform, hand him over the divine justice.

Chapter 11 Step four Identify Your Loss Properly so You Can Grieve It On the long journey to forgiveness, you started by recognizing the damage the offence caused you and you talked about it with emphatic person. This clarified your situation and lightened your burden. Now you are well on the way to healing. IDENTIFY YOUR LOSS PROPERLY If you do not grieve what you lost, you will not really know how to forgive. We are hurt more by our interpretation of an unpleasant event than by the event itself. People who consider themselves as the total, unique and permanent cause an unfortunate event are condemned both to underestimate themselves and to be incapable of reacting. To better grasp the meaning of the terms total, unique and permanent, we only have to listen to the inner dialogue people will wage against themselves in an effort to understand their disappointment. STOP BLAMING YOURSELF I. Ask yourself which part of you was hurt. II. Remember that you are not the only one responsible for the painful event or offence. III. Finally, it is important to convince yourself completely that en error is not irreparable. HEALING CHILDHOOD WOUNDS The hardest wounds to recognize and identify are those which go back to the distant past of our childhood. We no longer remember either the wounds or what caused them. Unexplained blocking during the process of forgiveness very often originates with an old wound. Chapter 12 Step five Accept Anger and the Desire for Revenge For some people, the word anger often evokes scenes of extreme violence. As result, they develop a great fear of experiencing this emotion. As a normal reaction to injustice, anger motivates us to seek out authenticity and try to remove obstacles to loving others. As long as we refuse to recognize our anger and draw from it all the possible benefits, there is a danger that it will worsen inside and turn into bitterness and hatred. THE DESTRUCTIVE EFFECTS OF REPRESSED ANGER Repressing or keeping anger is like sinking into swamp with no hope of getting out. When we keep emotions because society deems them unacceptable, we can expect that sooner or later they will re-emerge in some unusual form. Repressed anger may shift onto innocent targets, whether object, animals or people. An uncomfortable urge for violence often arises from the accumulation of repressed small angers. People who have not become aware of their own anger are inclined to pass it on to others. THE BENEFITS OF ANGER Anger, the souls fierce and aggressive energy, is not harmful in itself. It is triggered by an instinct for physical, psychological or moral self-preservation. Whether it is harmful or beneficial it depends on how we use it. When used properly, anger helps keep relationships between our loved ones operating smoothly. We are trying to remove obstacles to communication and love. Owning our aggression, rather than repressing it can have other beneficial effects. It helps us discover values that we hold near and dear and reveal more clearly what we want to be and do.

PUTTING ANGER TO GOOD USE Emotions are made up of positive human energies that need to be recognized, controlled and put to good use. When feared or repressed by the subconscious, they from groups of emotions and images called complexes that then take on a life of their own. In Jungian psychology, repressed material forms the shadows of the personality which dominates, uncontrollably, as long as people refuse to notice it and try to run away from it. If a person decides to slowly absorb their shadow, what may have seemed to be a destructive handicap, will be transformed into a source of energy and personal growth. WHEN PEOPLE ARE AFRAID TO LET GO OF RESENTMENT People believe, wrongly, that keeping their resentment alive will preserve their human dignity and keep them from risking further humiliation. There are other ways to maintain our dignity and self-esteem without being eaten up and destroyed by our own animosity. Others think that resentment will motivate them to prove their worth and abilities to themselves and others.

Chapter 13 Step 6 Forgive yourself This chapter talks about the very core why some people find it hard to forgive themselves. They often blame themselves for being in such misery leading them to humiliation and to top it off theyll be overwhelmed by shame and guilt. There are three possible sources of having low self-esteem: first, disappointment that the person could not live up to some dream or ideal. Second, the negative messages coming from the parents and other close people. The last is the attacks by the shadow side of the personality which is formed from repressed and undeveloped human and spiritual potential. These people will try to hide it until they can no longer control whats inside. So to be able to forgive, they have to identify first their aggressor. They have to find the courage and initiative to forgive but with the risk of being discouraged. Chapter 14 Step 7 Understand your offender As the title mentions, understand your offender means knowing why we need not to blame the person who put us into the misery we are in. We cannot blame this people the entire time even if they were cause of our pain. We have to consider this, if we continue to condemn them, we also cannot avoid being condemned. The person must be losing the right path to forgiveness and continue to see the flaws of others as well as his own. It is hard but the victim must find the positivity of what the offender has done to him. This will ease even the slightest pain. The victim must also put in mind that he would not understand everything that is happening, there will come a time that he will realize that without knowing the answer. Chapter 15 Step 8 Make sense of the offense in your life This chapter explains the positive things that will happen after those negative things in the past. After the rain, the sun will reappear there is light. Just like this stanza from a song, after that painful and depressing moments that have passed, there will come a time that the person will realize the good things that have happened to him. That he could never been this strong now if it werent for that past. That he couldve never known his self if it werent for that past. Before this will happen, of course the victim will

suffer sleepless nights and painful mornings until he was able to slowly move on. One day he will realize something good for him. Chapter 16 Step 9 Recognize that youre worthy of forgiveness and already forgiven Of course a person who underwent a painful situation will not learn to forgive unless he experienced of being forgiven. This chapter talks about being forgiven and being worthy of that forgiveness. It is really hard to forgive someone who offended you so bad that its as if your heart is torn to pieces especially from someone you love. All that pain can vanish if only that person experienced forgiveness. Yes, thats the best remedy. After that, the person will find it hard to explain or even describe the feeling of being worthy of forgiveness. This is called, fundamental feeling. But there are obstacles in recognizing how much the person is loved. First, those persons who see themselves as unforgivable. Those who do not believe that love is unmerited, freely given. Next, those people who rejects forgiveness. And lastly, those who simply reject guilt as a psychological flaw. The ability to accept that sins were forgiven by God who looks on us in love seems to be the only form of self-love that lets us forgive those who sinned against us.

Chapter 17 Stubbornness: An Obstacle to Forgiveness He opened himself to receive the grace for forgiveness without knowing now, when or ewhere it would be granted him. I forgive you the only words he want to say to other, one night of the fourth day, as he was meditating in the chapel, he instinctively picked up the New Testament and came across the passage about the healing of the chipped man, with the Pharisees comment God alone can forgive. Two days later, after he had finished reading he felt a bit confused that something had unraveled insde him. Curiously, he no longer felt the need to repeat his incantation: I forgive you. Dont reduce forgiveness to a moral obligation Forgiveness cannot be the object of a commandment or moral law. Jesus said that forgiveness find its source, not in a moral obligation, but rather in in the mystery of the intimate relationship between God and human beings. Only when it comes from a heart that is free and forgiven can forgiveness spring forth. People lost sight of the fact that Gods love towards sinner is a complete gift. Exercise Prayer for the affirmation of forgiveness To forgive effectively, we need to give up our desire for power, and this is possible through prayer. Creating of your own prayer of affirmation at the end of this prayer, resume your normal routine, confident that the world is different since you experienced the effect of forgiveness in you and in the other. Chapter 18 Open up to the Grace of Forgiving It is the heart of forgiveness that Creation is reborn in its initial purity. FROM GOD AS DISPENSER OF JUSTICE, TO THE REAL GOD In theory it is easy to believe that God is loving and merciful. In fact it is not so easy. Being able to actually live out of this experience of the divine demands hard spiritual and emotional work. Our religious imagination is often hard pressed to distinguish the God of love and mercy from the God who administers justice. In my clinical practice, I have often had to help my clients distinguish between story may clarify this. I explained to my client that I believed it was a priority that she free herself once and for all from this image of God that was incompatible with her life of prayer and her work as a religion teacher. In the following days, she continued her

dialogue with her God of judgment and punishment. She asked him to make way, little by little, for the God of love of Jesus Christ and to stop coming between her and God. This story show how important it is to carefully examine our notion of God and to correct it, if necessary, if we want to be worthy of forgiveness and able to to forgive. We cannot work out childish images of God forever. GODS LOVE IS NOT CONSTRAINED BY HUMAN FORGIVENESS The concept of Gods forgiveness as a form of retributive justice is that much more likely because we find traces of it in Matthews gospel: For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Some biblical scholars interpret this statement in light of the fact that Matthew is addressing listeners who are still steeped in the Old Testament law. So, it is hardly surprising that followers came to think that they could obtain Gods forgiveness by the merits of their own acts of forgiveness. Thus, forgiveness became a sort of subtle barter between God and humans. How do people get out of this impasse? The only way is to hold fast to two truths. The first one is that God always takes the initiatives in forgiveness, just as God is the only one who takes the initiative I love. The second truth flows from the first. Forgiveness is not an act of will that depends only on human effort and that ought to be applied in the fruit of a conversion of heart, an opening up to the grace of forgiveness. Remember two points in this parable about forgiveness. First, it is the master (God) who takes the initiatives to perform a merciful act. Second, the debtor who has been so blessed refuses to moved or influenced by his creditors generosity. While God takes the initiative in granting forgiveness, God cannot force anyone to accept it. THE HUMBLE FORGIVENESS OF THE GOD OF JESUS God, he is simple, humble and understanding. He takes the initiative to visit people who are imprisoned by their sins. Once he is with them, he validates them by setting up a situation in which he receives from them. He ask the Samaritan woman for water: when he sees Zacchaeus, he invites himself into his home: he allows Mary Magdalen to bathe his feet in perfume. Even before he speaks of forgiveness, he starts by establishing a person-to-person relationship. Through this basic contact Jesus manifests his forgiveness. Chapter 19 Decide Whether to End or Renew the Relationship Mended friendship demand more care than those which have never been broken. Dont Confuse Forgiveness And Reconciliation In some writings, forgiveness is synonymous with reconciliation. Hence, many people are afraid to forgive their offenders because they think they must then reconcile with them and once again risk suffering the same abuse. Some spiritual masters and theologicians make statement such as: The ultimate goal of forgiveness is reconciliation Forgiveness and reconciliation are inseparable realities Forgiveness is incomplete without reconciliation. It would appear that, for many of them, forgiveness would be akin to forgetting everything, to pretending that nothing gad happened and to resuming the relationship as it was before the offense. Forgiving And Ending A Relationship Reconciliation with the offender is often impossible. Take, for instance, those cases where the offender is unknown, dead or missing, or where the offender is unrepentant or a habitual and irresponsible offender. Ther are also situations where

efforts at reconciliation, as generous as they may be, may prove to be omprudent or even dangerous. Even if forgiveness does not lead to reconciliation, it is nonetheless beneficial in more ways than one those who forgive. First, the victims will manage to no longer judge their offenders but to understand them; deep in their hearts, they will be able to wish them all the happiness in the world; they will discover the positive side of the painful situation and, no doubt, they will be able to hope that the benevolence they show towards their offenders might change their heart. The Offender Can Grow Through the Process Of Reconciliation Let us now examine the changes that can be made in the victim offender relationship. First, note that, contrary to what some authors would have you believe, the responsibility for changes lies not only with the offender but also with the victim, who must learn to never again put themselves in a situation where they could be victimized. To build the new relationship, both offender and victim must feel that they are involved. The Victims Growth through Reconciliation It reminds us that the offender alone does not carry the blame for the painful event. Victims must also seek out the truth about them and take advantages of their unfortunate experience to examine some of their attitudes and ways of engaging in intimate relationships. Even a small change in the arena of human relationships will bring about other important change in you. Changing Relationships after a Separation There are situation where it is possible neither to give up a relationship nor to strengthen it. One is that of people who are separated or divorced and who must maintain cordial parental relations for the sake of their children. The other is that of parents who ask them selves how they have to change their behaviour towards their grown children who have left home. They are aware of the challenge of maintaining distance without breaking their bonds of intimacy. Parents often have to define their boundaries. Forgiveness alone does not solve all relationship difficulties, since it lacks the magical effects we often attribute to it. Furthermore, once granted, it does not guarantee that the offender will not repeat the offense.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1 The Importance Of Forgiveness In Our Lives Perpetuating The Grief Living With Constant Resentment Staying Mired In The Past Seeking Revenge Chapter 2 A Tale Of Forgiveness: Al And Adele Chapter 3 Unmasking False Notion Of Forgiveness Forgiving Is Not Forgetting Forgiveness Is Not Denial Forgiveness Takes More Than Willpower Forgiveness Cannot Be Given On Command Forgiveness Does Not Take Us Back To Where We Were Before Forgiveness That Does Not Fight Injustice Forgiveness Does Not Mean Giving Up Our Right Forgiveness Does Not Mean Excusing The Offender Forgiveness Does Not Demonstrate Moral Superiority Chapter 4 Forgiveness A Human And Spiritual Adventure The Starting Point: Deciding Not To Seek Revenge Going Back Into Ourselves Looking For A New Vision Of Human Relationships Banking On The Value Of The Offender Reflecting Divine Mercy Chapter 5 Assessing The Offense When The Offender Is Someone You Love When The Offender Is A Stranger When The Offence Is Buried In The Past Chapter 6 Who Needs Forgiveness Forgive The Family Members Forgive Close Friends And Acquaintances Forgive Strangers Forgive Traditional Enemies Forgive God Forgive Yourself Chapter 7 An Experience Of True Forgiveness To Facilitate A Good Experience Of Forgiveness Chapter 8 Step One: Do Not Seek Revenge: Put An End To The Offending Action

Chapter 9 Step Two:Recognize Your Pain And Poverty Defense Mechanisms Cognitive Resistance Emotional Resistance Chapter 10 Step Three:Share Your Pain With Someone Sharing With The Offender When Sharing With The Offender Is Impossible Chapter 11 Step Four: Identify Your Loss Properly So You Can Grieve It Identify Your Loss Properly Stop Blaming Yourself Healing Childhood Wounds Chapter 12 Step Five: Accept Anger And The Desire For Revenge The Destructive Effects Of Repressed Anger The Benefits Of Anger Putting Anger To Good Use When People Are Afraid To Let Go Of Resentment Chapter 13 Step 6:Forgive Yourself Chapter 14 Step 7:Understand Your Offender Chapter 15 Step 8:Make Sense Of The Offense In Your Life Chapter 16 Step 9:Recognize That Youre Worthy Of Forgiveness And Already Forgiven Chapter 17 Stubbornness: An Obstacle To Forgiveness Dont Reduce Forgiveness To A Moral Obligation Exercise Prayer For The Affirmation Of Forgiveness Chapter 18 Open Up To The Grace Of Forgiving From God As Dispenser Of Justice, To The Real God Gods Love Is Not Constrained By Human Forgiveness The Humble Forgiveness Of The God Of Jesus Chapter 19 Decide Whether To End Or Renew The Relationship Dont Confuse Forgiveness And Reconciliation Forgiving And Ending A Relationship The Offender Can Grow Through The Process Of Reconciliation The Victims Growth Through Reconciliation Changing Relationships After A Separation

Function

Name

IRP

Signature

Grade (to be filled up by the prof)

Sadol Surat Saray Sugo miembro

Manalili, Ma. Danica Faye Ibona, Cyril Diaz, Merialynne Jove, Alessadra Sta. Ana, Marvin

10 10 10 10 8