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Contention 1-Text

The [insert plan actor] will enter into prior genuine consultation with Chuck Norris on
whether or not to do the plan, which shall be implemented if and only if Chuck Norris
approves. We reserve the right to clarify our intent.

Contention 2-Competition

1-The CP competes by severing out of the immediacy of plan action-the aff must
defend plan implementation as immediate; that’s key to neg ground and strategy
because we can only cut brinks for disads that assume the squo not future
2-The CP severs out of the certainty of plan action-defending plan implementation as
certain is the basis of a stable advocacy; that’s key to clash because we can’t debate
a moving taget
3-The CP is competitive through the Chuck Norris relations NB

Contention 3-Chuck Norris is Awesome

1-Chuck Norris insures the FDIC

Generally Awesome, date unknown
(Humor website, “Awesome Facts About Chuck Norris”,
http://generallyawesome.com/humor/ch...is-facts.html; Jonathan)
Most people understand that their bank deposits are insured by the FDIC. What most
people don’t understand is that the FDIC is insured by Chuck Norris.

2-FDIC is critical to economic stability and prosperity

Allison 05
(John S., Commissioner of Banking & Consumer Finance State of Mississippi &
Chairman, Conference of State Bank Supervisors Before the Federal Deposit
Insurance Corporation Board of Directors May 24, 2005, “Public Debate on the Health
of the Dual Banking System is Essential”,
http://www.fdic.gov/news/conferences...son_summ.html; Jonathan)

The FDIC plays a crucial role in the interstate supervision of state chartered banks
and in monitoring the banking industry's health. In its leadership role, we urge the
FDIC to ask these public policy questions:
Is it good for the industry to have only one viable charter alternative for banks that
operate in numerous states? We say no.
Is it good public policy to have the largest banks subject to supervision by a single
chartering authority? We say no.
Will the state banking system, which has served this country so well throughout our
history, retain its relevance and political significance if it charters only 17 percent of
the nation's banking assets? We say no. Is it good to lose the FDIC and the Federal
Reserve's current roles in regulating and supervising these large, interstate banks?
We say no.

3-The impact is extinction

Beardon 00
(Tom-, Retired Lieutenant –Colonel, “The Unnecessary Energy Crisis: How to Solve it
Quickly,” www.freerepublic.com/forum/a3aaf97f22e23.htm)

History bears out that desperate nations take desperate actions. Prior to the final
economic collapse, the stress of nations will have increased the intensity and number
of their conflicts, to the point where the arsenals of weapons of mass destruction
(WMD) now possessed by some 25 nations, are almost certain to be released. As an
example, suppose a starving North Korea launches nuclear weapons upon Japan and
South Korea, including U.S. forces there, in a spasmodic suicidal response. Or
suppose a desperate China-whose long-range nuclear missiles (some) can reach the
United State-attacks Taiwan. In addition to immediate responses, the mutual treaties
involved in such scenarios will quickly draw other nations into the conflict, escalating
it significantly.
Strategic nuclear studies have shown for decades that, under such extreme stress
conditions, once a few nukes are launched, adversaries and potential adversaries are
then compelled to launch on perception of preparations by one’s adversary. The real
legacy of the MAD concept is this side of the MAD coin that is almost never
discussed. Without effective defense, the only chance a nation has to survive at all is
to launch immediate full-bore pre-emptive strikes and try to take out its perceived
foes as rapidly and massively as possible. As the studies showed, rapid escalation to
full WMD exchange occurs. Today a great percent of the WMD arsenals that will be
unleashed, are already on site within the Untied States itself. The resulting great
Armagedoon will destroy civilization as we know it, and perhaps most of the
biosphere, at least for many decades

4-Chuck Norris is the man and is always right. This puts the affirmative in a double-
bind: if the plan is a good idea, we get 100% solvency plus the risk of a NB; if the
plan is a bad idea, Chuck Norris will reject it
4Q.com 06
(Blog, “Top 100 Facts For Chuck Norris”, http://www.4q.cc/index.php?
pid=top100&person=chuck; Jonathan)

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word
hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. When the
Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck
Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands. Chuck Norris' tears
cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. If
Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.

And-Chuck Norris says “yes” to good ideas-Dodgeball proves