@@@Ejaculation Etiquette@@@ Women are lucky in that they can have an orgasm pretty much anywhere and don't

h ave to worry about leaving behind any telltale substances. Men, on the other han d, know that the end result of their pleasure includes a mess to clean up. This means that you should have an ejaculation etiquette plan that includes wher e it goes, where it doesn't go, how it's cleaned up, and how it's disposed of. M uch of this is dependent on your partner's likes and dislikes, so make sure to g et an idea of where she draws the line when it comes to your climactic fluid. Here is the Ananzimen breakdown of ejaculation etiquette based on location and s ituation. Also included is a hint about what you absolutely should never do when it comes to ejaculation etiquette. Inside him If you're having sex without a condom (which should only be done with a girl you 're confident won't give you an STI), you'll likely end up finishing inside her. Make sure to get her permission, and understand the birth control situation bef ore coming inside her. This option lifts most of the clean-up responsibility fro m you since your ejaculate is now literally up in her business. She will likely excuse herself to go to the bathroom and clean up there. There is a possibility that some of your stuff could leak out before she makes her way to the bathroom. In this case, the onus is back on you to clean up your mess. Etiquette reminder: Don't tell her that you won't ejaculate insider her and then do it anyway. In a condom When using protection, the condom should be removed immediately after you ejacul ate, before you lose your erection. This will prevent any sperm from escaping an d slopping all over her or the bed. Tie the end off so nothing leaks out and pla ce it in the garbage -- not the toilet or the floor. Etiquette reminder: Don't ask her to take the used condom off for you. That's yo ur responsibility. In his mouth The ejaculation etiquette involved in oral sex is a little more complex. First o f all, you have to determine whether or not she wants to swallow. Once this is e stablished, it's nice to let her know when to expect your orgasm so she can eith er prepare to swallow and avoid gagging or switch to a different method of stimu lation, like using her hand, to finish you off. You don't have to make a big ann ouncement of it. A simple, "It's time," would do, or you could agree on a subtle r signal that you're about to erupt. Etiquette reminder: Don't hold her head so she has no choice but to swallow. Tha t's a good way to never get a blow job again. On his ass/breasts Some men like the idea of ejaculating on a woman's breasts or butt, and some wom en think it's sexy too. Again, this should be established beforehand, because it 's possible that it could gross her out and that would be bad ejaculation etique tte. If she digs it, then go ahead. Etiquette reminder: Don't rub it in afterward. Don't spread it around with your hands and don't collapse on top of her so the mess is squished between your bodi

es. On his face Coming on her face is a tricky issue. Some women really get off on the idea, but plenty of others think it's disgusting, and some even find it degrading. So it' s essential that you get her permission before you shoot anywhere near or on her face. Etiquette reminder: Do not get any in her eyes. Avoid her hair as well, if possi ble. If you follow our ejaculation etiquette guidelines, you can avoid plenty of awkw ard and potentially gross post-sex clean-up routines. You'll also have a better chance of keeping your girlfriend happy, which means y ou'll have more opportunities to practice these guidelines in the future.

@@@Blow Job Etiquette@@@ --First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it. --Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful. --I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not standard pract ice to come on someone's face. --Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow. --My ears are NOT handles. --Extension to rule #5 -- do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick? --I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart. --Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" -- get it through your head -- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, don't feel particularly obligate d to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now. --Extension to #8 -- "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls -- if y ou're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol. --If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've ju st "wrecked it" for you. --Leaving me in bed while you go play video games, smoke a cigarette, watch tv, etc. immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future. --If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origin s of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See a lso rule #2 about gratitude. --No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein con tent. --No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV, smoke a cigarette, drink,etc. --When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blowjobs often en ough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag. --Just because it's "awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it goo d morning".