Are You A Workaholic? Take The Test: Former Bold Star Myra Manibog Bares It All How To Nourish Your Relationships

Inspiring You to Live A Fantastic Life
No. 194 Vol. 16
SEPTEMBER 2006
ARE YOU A WORKAHOLIC? Take the Test FORMER BOLD STAR MYRA MANIBOG BARES IT ALL How to Nourish Your Relationships
By Bo Sanchez
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bo sanchez
What Have You Been Putting Up With?

In Life, You Dont Get What You Deserve; You Get What You Think You Deserve and Tolerate!
the Boss
KERYGMA SEPTEMBER 2006
ecile wants a better boyfriend. Her past three were jerks. Cute, charming, cunning jerks. And her present boyfriend is a carbon copy of the past three: An alcoholic, gambling, jobless bum that is supported by his co-dependent mother. The man sees Cecile as a replacement mother should the original mother get sick and die. Cecile, in panic, asks me, Bo, why do I put up with these creatures? I want a man who has a decent job, whos normal, wholl love me without borrowing money from me. Why do I end up with a guy that I have to pick up from the floor because hes drunk? Why do I end up with a guy who needs me to pay his prison bail? Heres a principle I learned: In life, you dont get what you deserve; you get what you think you deserve. And you get what you tolerate. Ceciles open mouth said it all. You mean to tell me I subconsciously think I deserve these subhuman creatures as my boyfriends? Exactly. Subconsciously, you get attracted to guys who smell of gin. Your heart palpitates when you see 62 tattoos on his arm. You get all googly eyed when you see that hes jobless and starts asking money from you. Because deep within you, you feel that this is what you deserve. Wow. Why do you think I think I deserve jerks like these? You dont value yourself. You dont love yourself. What should I do? she said, her eyes begging for an answer. Work on yourself. Be the best person you can be, love yourself totally, and believe that you deserve only the best. And remember that you get what you tolerate. Friends, Ive met a lot of people like Cecile. It doesnt have to be about boyfriends. For example, Julio wants to get out of poverty. But for 10 years now, hes been buried in debts, stuck in a vicious cycle of spending more than he can afford, and handcuffed to a crummy job that doesnt ignite his passion. Why doesnt he get out of his poverty? Same two reasons: Because thats what he thinks he deserves. And thats what he tolerates. Ricky wants a better marriage. He feels so trapped in a boring, lifeless relationship. But for the longest time, he hasnt done anything about it. Ricky doesnt change his critical spirit towards his wife, he doesnt try to be more appreciative, nor does he romance her daily. Why? For the same two reasons above. Dearest reader, what have you been putting up with in your life? What have you been tolerating? Stop that. Right now. You deserve the best. Go for the best. K
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readers Corner
got to know KERYGMA when I joined Light of Jesus way back 1994. I became a shepherd of the magazine and other products of Shepherds Voice Publications. KERYGMA was a tool for gaining more friends in the bank where I worked, as well as introducing my community to them and touching friends and family to become closer to God.
Gina Ferrer Bagong Ilog, Pasig City
mail Room
A MUST-HAVE MAGAZINE m 29 years old and have recently joined the English Community of St. Thomas the Apostle Church in Hong Kong. This is where I got my first copy of KERYGMA, which I found to be bitin. Dont get me wrong, Im not complaining. Im actually craving for more. I believe I have become a KERYGMA addict. And just like any other addiction, I just couldnt get enough of it. Looking back, I wasnt even fond of reading books or any reading materials for that matter. As I used to say, Read books?!? Id rather watch TV. But KERYGMA definitely changed all that. It simply stole my heart and made me realize that its never too late to develop a new and enriching habit. I even requested for back issues and bought inspiring books by the Boss (Bo Sanchez) to satisfy my physical, emotional and, above all, spiritual needs. KERYGMA is certainly a must-have magazine. Thanks for all the enlightenment and for presenting our Catholic faith in a new and different light. God bless you and your dedicated team.
Lenie Viola Hong Kong
From the Shepherds Voice website forum (http://forum.shepherdsvoice.com.ph)
just want to express my sincerest appreciation for the June 2006 issue of Kerygma magazine. I find it really quite amazing and inspiring especially the testimonies of singles who apparently have finally found their Gods Gift or their one true love. Im one of those singles out there who dream that one day someone would come at an unexpected time and place and would eventually would propose in a very unique manner... like what Bro. Randy Borromeo conceptualized in his testimony. Hay! Well, while waiting for that time to come (I am claiming and declaring that it would come soon), I just focus my attention on my studies. By the way, Im taking up Law and Im on my third year. Im turning 32 this coming August and I am hoping that I could find some friends in this forum.
Rasberryluna
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ay Mallari is our stressed out girl on the cover. If you attend the Feast gatherings in Manila, shes probably a familiar face because shes often seen onstage for skits and other announcements. Thank you, Kay, for sharing your acting skills with us.
DEPARTMENTS
02 06 08 10 17
Mailroom New You Dear Kerygma Real Stuff It Happened: Bold for the Lord 30 Gawad Kalinga 39 One Last Story: Dreaming of Being Catholic
COLUMNS
35 Catholic Soul A Crisis of Faith in Catholic Universities 37 K Preacher On Questions And Answers 38 Just Breathe Wholesome Eavesdropping
THE BO FILES
Bo Sanchezs clothes courtesy of Sari-Sari
KERYGMA
01 The Boss What Have You Been Putting Up With? 13 Main Course The Oxygen of Loving Relationships 32 Heroes of Faith 40 Point of Contact
SPECIAL SECTION TeaCHInG
20 Stress Management
TESTIMONIES
25 How to Make Stress Work For You 26 When A Servant Burns Out 28 Gods Training Ground
editor-in-chief BO SANCHEZ editor RISSA SINGSON staff writer DINA PECANA creative director STIMPY CORTES graphics director REY DE GUZMAN contributing writers TESS ATIENZA, REDEN CERRER, ALVIN FABELLA, CECIL LIM, JUDITH ROS, JANE GONZALES, BABES GARQUE photographer DAKILA ANGELES, CHRISTIAN HALILI, ED SANTIAGO columnists ED DE VERA, OBET CABRILLAS chairman of the board BO SANCHEZ marketing coordinator MON TOLEDO KERYGMA. A Greek word meaning Proclamation of the Gospel. It is a Catholic inspirational magazine. It aims to be an evangelistic tool to all nations, providing Scriptural, practical and orthodox teachings to Catholics, particularly those in the Catholic Renewal, as an alternative to present-day magazines. It is also committed to fostering the renewal and unity of the whole Christian people. Philippine copyright Shepherds Voice Publications, Inc. 2003 No part of this magazine may be reproduced without permission. KERYGMA is published monthly by Shepherds Voice Publications, Inc., whose editorial and business offices are located at 60 Chicago St., Cubao, 1109 Quezon City. Tels: 411-7874 to 77 Fax: 727-5615 Email: mbx-svp@philonline.com.ph, svpmail@info.com.ph Website: www.shepherdsvoice.com.ph
new You
tips for personal development
finance
How to Manage Financial Crises

F
inancial crises in one form or another are an inevitable part of life. You could find yourself heavily indebted because of a bad investment while at the same time struggling to pay for the familys monthly bills, the childrens education, medical expenses and others. To keep from drowning in financial woes, heres how to keep afloat: 1. Set up an Emergency Fund Simply put, your emergency fund is a savings account where you deposit your extra income from overtime pay, a percentage of your bonus, tax refund or earnings from a sideline. Although its difficult to start saving when money is tight, have that determination to start saving for your emergency fund. This way you dont have to use money intended for your retirement when theres a crisis. 2. Invest in an Insurance Policy Insurance coverage for health, disability and others helps protect your financial assets, such as your retirement fund, by taking care of big financial problems. 3. Apply for a Loan as a Last Resort Before you even apply for a loan at the bank, make sure youve considered all other options. Compare loan packages being offered and choose the one with the lowest interest rate and manageable payment scheme.
(Source: christian-credit-counselors.com)
health
Multi-tasking for Good Health

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ulti-tasking and multiple roles. More than just corporate jargons, these are the reality women have been living in since time immemorial. Mother, wife, employee, friend are only some of the inherent roles of women in the family, workplace and society. Are these too much for any woman to take? A research with more than a thousand respondents in Britain shows that multi-tasking women were much healthier than those who opted to just take on a single role. According to Anne McMunn, lead author of the research findings, the critical question was whether these women took on these multiple roles because it was good for their health or if good health simply resulted from their multi-tasking. The study revealed that the second case was true. So who said that women do too much?
(Source: webmed.com)
manners
relationships
Recovering from a Bad First Impression

1. Good Conversationalist or Just Pushy? Dont monopolize conversations or interrupt others as they speak. If you were pushy, erase that negative first impression by doing the following: - Acknowledge your aggressiveness and apologize. - Let the incident go but also let it be a reminder to temper your tendency to be aggressive in conversations. 2. To Wear or Not to Wear Went to a party inappropriately dressed? Theres no need to run and miss the party. Instead, show that you are comfortable the way you are and see the humor in the situation. You can even make it a conversation piece. 3. Not Rude, Just Shy If youre naturally shy, guard against being aloof and withdrawn. Be mindful of your body language. Smile more and frown less. Immediately, youll see how a simple smile can work wonders for you. To keep a conversation going, keep in mind three simple open-ended questions. Asking questions also help shift the focus of attention from yourself to others in the group.
(Source: realsimple.com)
Humor and Parenting: A Good Mix
f parenting is driving you insane, try mixing in some humor. Seeing the funny side in difficult, patiencewracking situations with your kids allows you to respond with love. You learn to temper the bickering, nagging bad parent from surfacing. Humor helps you rekindle that hidden joy about this vocation youve chosen to live out in your life. When you hug often and laugh a lot with your kids, you let yourself be who you are and your children who theyre meant to be just themselves. Laughing together balances the seriousness of daily family life without watering down serious concerns and issues that need to be resolved. Humor keeps the parents sane and the children happy.
(Source: catholic.net, jellymom.com)
spiritual
Evangelize the Easy Way
vangelization is the task of every Christian, not just the priests or preachers. If the task seems daunting for you, here are some doable tips to begin the good work: 1. Volunteer to manage your parishs literature rack. Ensure that theres a variety of Catholic reading materials inspirational books, Bibles, reflection guides, magazines, novena booklets and even rosaries displayed on the racks by the entrance of the Blessed Sacrament adoration chapel to encourage adorers and visitors to read or use them. 2. Take time to share your faith with door-to-door missionaries. Welcome Bible Christians who walk from house to house to share the Gospel. Later on, invite these missionaries to listen to your own testimony on being a Catholic and share with them copies of Catholic literature you may have on hand. Who knows? One day you may find them seated beside you at Sunday Mass. 3. Place booklets or handouts in the pews at your parish. With the permission of your parish priest, place evangelistic booklets or handouts on the pews before Mass. 4. Evangelize online. Make the most of the internet by launching an evangelistic e-mail blast and send Gospel reflections, encyclicals and other informative news about the Catholic Church.
(Source: catholic.com)
dear Kerygma
WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT: HEALING OR COMMUNION?

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y husband and I belong to a charismatic group here in Sydney and we celebrate a healing Mass every first Friday in honor of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus. Right after the consecration, the priest lays hands over the sick. Normally he would spend about 10 or more minutes per person, hence its a long session. By the time Holy Communion is given, people are tired and a few leave. Please correct me on this but I think in this Mass the focus is on the healing session and not on the Eucharist. I even suggested that the healing session be done after the Mass. Is there any doctrine or teaching on what can and cannot be included in the Mass? Is the individual pray-over or laying of hands more appropriate at the end of the Eucharistic celebration? Please enlighten us on this.
Claire
Dear Claire,
understand your concern. I have to admit that I am not very familiar with healing Masses but what you write about the one you attended worries me. In his last encyclical letter Ecclesia de Eucharistia (17 April 2003), Pope John Paul II wrote: Liturgy is never anyones private property, be it of the celebrant or of the community in which the mysteries are celebrated. Already Pope Paul VI had stated that nobody is allowed to omit or add something to the Eucharistic Celebration. I think this is clear enough. To insert an endless healing session after consecration is definitely against the rules and norms of the Church. You are right, not only is a basic teaching of the Church violated but the focus is now on the healing session and not anymore on the Eucharist. In a healing Mass I have attended (even concelebrated), the healing session was done at the end of the Mass, when we priests went with the Blessed Sacrament from person to person and prayed over them. It is very sad that some priests ignore the guidelines from the Pope and just do what they want and so sometimes irritate the faithful or even drive them away. Maybe the community should talk to the priest who surely means well. I hope something can be done to make your healing Mass more meaningful. God bless you and your community!
Fr. Rudy Horst, SVD
MY SISTER IS AN ENTERTAINER IN JAPAN: ISNT THAT AN IMMORAL JOB?
m 35 years old and I have one child. I have four sisters and four brothers. My father passed away when I was 21 years old. One of my sisters worked in Japan as an entertainer and, for years, Ive asked her to find another job. For me, an entertainer is not a good job in the eyes of God. But she said that the salary plus tips are better compared to what I earn as a domestic helper in Taiwan. My mother was very strict with us and always reminded us not to do anything bad. She said that the world was small and if she found out we did anything immoral, shed find us. But now, my sister has a nice house and my mother lives there. And the day that I feared came. She came home with a Japanese. I started yelling and was angry. Is this the nice daughter you were talking about? I asked my mother. She was quiet but my sister confronted me. She said that she was of age and that this was her home. I said, Yes this is your house but you built it from money that came from other men. My mom began to cry. But my sister explained that her job was clean and decent. She added that she was married to the Japanese civilly and a church wedding was not important. I know it was wrong and hurtful for me to have said to my mom that she sold out her values for money. It also hurt that they ganged up on me and accused me of being jealous of my sisters better fortune. My questions: 1. My mother has a property that she inherited from her parents. Is it right that my sister inherits it from her since shes the one supporting my mom? 2. Was I wrong for saying those things to my mom? I was simply reminding her what she taught us. 3. Is being an entertainer a good job? If it is, why are those girls so wild? Kindly explain these things to me. I dont have a friend to talk to.
Hurt
Dear Hurt,
can feel how hurt and disappointed you are with how you believe your sisters life has turned out. I believe your mother has raised you well considering that she had to do it all alone since your father has passed away and this should be true for your sister too. With regard to your questions, let me answer them one by one: 1. I would suggest that you consult your lawyer regarding this. You may also have to respect the decision of your mother here unless you really want your relationship with her to deteriorate further. 2. Yes, youre wrong to talk to your mother in that manner. There was no need for you to yell at her, you could have just told your mother in a very respectful and polite way how you felt about it. She is your mother after all and you should accord her the respect due her no matter how wrong you feel she is. 3. Please do not judge your sister nor generalize that all entertainers are wild. There are decent entertainers around. And even if she were one of the indecent ones she is already of age and it was her decision. The Christian thing for you to do is to shower her with love. Hate the sin but not the sinner. Note that Mary Magdalene was not only wild. She was a prostitute but she repented and loved the Master. Just let her know how you feel about her situation and thats about it. Pray for her. Show your love despite the circumstances. I also noted that you mentioned in your letter that you dont have a friend to talk to, thus, I suggest that you look for a priest who can be your Father confessor or link yourself to a prayer group so you can have some friends you can talk to. You also said that you have a child, why dont you then try talking to your husband about your concerns or anything that you feel you need someone you can unburden to. May Gods peace be with you and His love be upon you and your family.
Reng Morelos
Email your questions to editsvp@shepherdsvoice.com.ph. Or if you need to talk to someone, call 7264709, 7266728 to contact a Light of Jesus counselor. Telephone counseling is from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. from Monday to Saturday. Faceto-face counseling by appointment. For correspondence counseling, email lojcounseling@yahoo.com. Pregnant? Confused? Abortion is not the answer. Contact Sr. Pilar at Pro-life. Call 4228877 or email pilar.verzosa@gmail.com.
real Stuff
Is White Really Beautiful?
anna have fairer skin? The price may be more than what you bargained for. In recent years, various cosmetic products promising fairer, whiter skin to its users have been widely marketed in Asia. A survey reported that 4 out of 10 women in Hong Kong, Malaysia, the Philippines, South Korea and Taiwan use a skin whitening cream. Although successful in capturing a lucrative market of Asian women who are Caucasian-wannabes, these skin whitening products may have detrimental, lifelong effects unknown to consumers. While many, if not most, skin-whitening creams are safe, there have been reports from doctors, consumer groups and government officials regarding the dangerous consequences of excessive use of these products. For example, women who may be in a hurry to get that fair, smooth complexion would tend to use these potent creams in large amounts. This practice results not in the desired white skin but in blotched complexion of white, pink and brown, as if it was roasted in an oven. More alarming is the proliferation of black-market products containing strong, illegal bleaching agents that are more affordable and can be easily bought by the masses. There are also questions about legitimate creams that contain hydroquinone, a substance also used for photo processing materials. Although dermatologists have prescribed the use of hydroquinone to remove blemishes over the years, doctors say that the substance may be cancerous especially with prolonged use.
(Source: www.iht.com)
In Appreciation of Motherhood
Mission Possible: The Asian Edition
one are the days when the word missionary is associated with Africa. The new target for missions? Asia. Pope Benedict the XVIs papacy is stepping up evangelization efforts in that continent and shifting the focus of the Churchs mission work towards the East. According to Cardinal Crescenzio Sepe, president of the Congregation for the Evangelization of Peoples, the church needs to keep orienting itself more towards the Orient because of the thriving church in the Philippines and southern India. Cardinal Sepe further said that laypeople and local catechists are the churchs most promising and effective force in evangelization. Because they live lives similar to these people and are familiar with their language, customs and traditions, they are able to empathize and reach out to people more effectively. The cardinal explains that being a missionary is not a choice, it is an integral part of being baptized in a living church. Whatever path or career one carves out for oneself, that is a missionary vocation in which one can spread the Gospel message to others.
(Source: www.cns.com)
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ra-burning feminists of the 60s and 70s, who used to think that motherhood takes a back seat to a successful, thriving career, are rethinking their bias. Back in those decades, these women spawned a revolution that gave rise to women in the workplace seeking to carve a niche for themselves in a male-dominated corporate ladder. Today, another revolution is taking place. First-generation feminists have changed their minds and have gradually come to appreciate the invaluable rewards of motherhood. Feminist writer Danielle Crittenden in her book, What Our Mothers Didnt Tell Us: How Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman, writes that when a woman decides to have a child, it is the single, most profound, life decision she could ever make. In a letter to Catholic bishops written by the Congregation for the Doctrine of Faith, it says, Among the fundamental values linked to womens actual lives is what has been called a capacity for the other. This capacity, the letter says, is a reality that structures the female personality in a profound way. It allows her to acquire maturity very quickly, and gives a sense of the seriousness of life and of its responsibilities.
And Now, A Cancer Vaccine for Kids
(Source: www.catholic.net)
Looking for a Spouse? Try Japan
he land of the rising sun is fast becoming the land of the aging sons. Recent census shows that almost 50 percent of Japanese men in their late 20s and early 30s are unmarried. Among the women, about three out of five in their late 20s havent found a husband while one out of three in their early 30s are still single. Japan also holds the record for having the greatest ratio of elderly people in their population. Last years census showed that 21% of their population was 65 years and older, surpassing Italy for the first time. That translates to almost 27 million senior citizens in one country. To make matters worse, their ratio of children below 15 years old is the lowest in the world. Understandably, the Japanese government is concerned and is coming up with programs to provide more childcare and encourage paternity leaves as incentives for couples to have more children. Even local councils are hosting matchmaking services to help people to marry.
(Source: www.guardiannewsngr.com)
n the past, kids were vaccinated against hepatitis, measles, mumps, influenza and the like. In the future, they could be vaccinated against cancer as well. An influential advisory panel in the US is pushing that girls 11 to 12 years of age be routinely given a vaccine against the sexually transmitted virus that causes cervical cancer. The human papilloma virus, or HPV, is the culprit behind cervical, vaginal and vulvar cancers, and genital warts. Gardasil, a drug developed by pharmaceutical company Merck, is the antidote. The vaccine is best used before the person becomes sexually active. In the US, seven percent of girls below 13 years old have already had intercourse. In a country where statistics say that more than half of its sexually active population will get a sexually transmitted disease, health officials are saying that a vaccine of this kind can prevent deaths caused by cervical cancer.
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main Course
THE OXYGEN OF LOVING RELATIONSHIPS

How to Nourish Your Friendships, Marriages and Families
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(Editors Note: This is the sixth part in a series of ten life-changing articles written by Bo Sanchez on FILL YOUR LIFE WITH LOVE. Bo gave this same talk to a live audience of a thousand people and the audio recording is available in CDs. To order your CDs and nourish your spirit, call (02) 4117874 or email sale@ shepherdsvoice.com.ph.)
by Bo Sanchez
any of our relationships have chronic asthma and the worse part of it is that we dont know our relationships are sick and dying until its too late. What is the oxygen of loving relationships? Deep communication. Relationships are sucking in its precious oxygen, but they cant get enough of it so internal parts of these relationships are slowly dying. If relationships dont breathe in deep communication consistently, the relationship will simply die a natural death. Here are four important elements of deep communication:
1. BE OPEN (NO SECRETS!)
Before the wedding day, Julia was crying in her bedroom. The mother came in and said, Its okay, dear. All brides-to-be have their jittery moments before their big day. But her daughter shook her head. Its not that Mommy. I havent told my secret to Tommy. What secret? her mother asked. My bad breath in the morning! You know how it stinks. And Im afraid that when I wake up in the morning of our honeymoon, hed smell me Her mother hugged Julia and said, Honey, I have a solution. What is it, mother? Each morning, set the alarm clock and wake up five minutes before Tommy does. Run to the bathroom, gargle with an antiseptic, and go back to bed. He wont know your secret. Julia was relieved. Thats right, Mom! Why didnt I think of that before? At Tommys house, the same drama was unfolding. Tommy was in the front porch, obviously pensive. His father greets him and says, I hope youre not having second thoughts for tomorrow. No Dad, Tommy says. I love Julia. Its just that Im scared shell find out my secret. What secret? his father asks. Dont you remember? Ive got smelliest feet in the country. Oh, son, thats easily remedied. Before going to bed each day, put on thick socks. Just tell Julia you feel cold.
Tommys face brightened. Thanks Dad. My problem is solved. True enough, after the wedding, Tommy and Julia enjoyed their honeymoon and their life together. Each evening, Tommy wore socks, and each morning, Julia woke up five minutes earlier than Tommy to gargle. It went on smoothly for 12 months and no one knew each others dark secrets. One night, Tommy woke up at two in the morning because he felt that one of his socks got out of his foot. Panicking, he frantically searched for it under the blankets. Julia woke up terrified, faced Tommy and asked, Whats happening? Whats happening?! Tommys face turned red as he smelled the vile odor from his wifes mouth. Oh no, he gasped, Julia, you swallowed my sock!
TRUE LOVE IS ACCEPTANCE
What is love? When you know youre totally accepted by your partner including your smelly parts. When you have nothing to hide, because theres no reason to hide it. Because true love casts out all fear. But when you keep secrets, you complicate your life. Some people think its just one silly lie. Thats not true. To maintain that one lie, you need 15 more lies to cover your tracks. Heres the hard part: Each of those 15 lies will need their respective 15 lies to cover up. Thats 226 lies. And multiply that by 15. And so on Can you remember all that? Can you imagine the genius thats necessary to put all that together? You need the skill of a fiction writer to create a whole new world something like the Harry Potter series. Except that JK Rowling earned one billion dollars, while you earn nothing but sleepless nights, anxious that someone will burst your balloon and discover your entire charade. Friends, theres nothing more liberating than telling the truth. Husbands and wives shouldnt keep secrets from each other; otherwise they lay a useless burden on the marriage.
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PARENTS, OPEN UP
Parents complain to me about their teenagers, saying, Bo, I no longer know whats happening to my daughters life. She comes home from school and goes straight to her room and stays there the entire day. She doesnt open up to me anymore. I answer with another question, For the past few years, did your teenager know what was happening in your life? Many times, the answer is a big no. Parents have not opened their lives to their pre-teens. Because theyve never spent enough time with their growing children bonding and sharing deeply their lives to them. So how can they now expect their teenagers to open their lives to them? Im speaking to those who are engaged here: Bring it all out in the open. Dont keep skeletons in your closet
Thank you, honey! she said, as she placed her hand in the bag. She was shocked to pull out a book. The title? The Meaning of Dreams.
JUST SAY IT CLEARLY AND DIRECTLY
2. BE EXPLICIT
One Valentines morning, a woman woke up her husband and said, I had the most exciting dream! I dreamt that you gave me a beautiful pearl necklace for Valentines Day. Oh honey, what do you think could this dream mean? The husband calmly told her, Youll know tonight. That evening, the man came home with a bag in hand. The woman was almost shrieking with delight. Oh, is this for me? The man said, I told you that tonight you will know the meaning of your dream this morning
If you want a pearl necklace, just ask for it. Dont say, Honey, I had a dream. For some reason, husbands have thick skulls that dont catch hints. If youre married, say this aloud a 150 times every day: My spouse isnt a fortune teller. Why? Because the number two cause of marital fights is emotional mind reading. (By the way, the number one cause of marital fights is money but I bet theres a lot of mind reading happening there too. Example: But sweetheart, I thought you knew that I was going to buy those seven pairs of shoes today!) Because of a womans natural sensitivity, nine times out of 10, shell be the first one to spot a potential problem. But the problem is that since its so obvious to her, she legitimately thinks, Surely my husband is alert enough to see what the problem is. Im not going to embarrass him by drawing a map for him. But you know what? Most of the time, thats exactly what men need a detailed map of the obvious. Dont let your spouse guess what you feel. Youll have to be clear with what you want! This principle is extremely necessary in other relationships: Parent-and-child, friend-andfriend, boss-and-subordinate
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PLAY A GAME EVERY WEEK
My wife and I ask each other this question If you want to revive a relationship, each week: What can I do to love you more? talk daily! At least once a week, we practice being more You dont breathe oxygen every two explicit with our needs. weeks. You breathe it every day. My wife wishes that I kiss her more. According to marriage counselor Gary I wish that shed give me a foot massage Smalley, husbands and wives need at least every day. one hour a day to communicate. My wife tells me that shell be happier if I Some of you may say, Wow, I dont discuss my weekly schedule with her. have the time to do that. I tell her that her daily foot massage should But Gary says you actually break this be at least 15 minutes long. one hour throughout the day: 15 minutes in My wife tells me that the morning, 5 minshed prefer if my foreign utes on the phone, 20 trips dont exceed two minutes when you get weeks. home, and another 30 I tell her that she minutes before you should press each reflex go to bed. point on my foot for ten Plus, have a 1. Do you treasure your relationships, seconds. romantic date at least protect them, nurture them? How do Weve made it a once a week. you do this? And how do you fail to do rule that well teach each Parents, talk this? other what we want as to your kids every 2. How much deep communication do explicitly and detailed as single day as well. you have with your spouse? Parents? possible. And as a family, Siblings? Friends? eat meals together 3. From the four guidelines given on daily (and please, developing deep communication, which shut off the TV when do you think is your weakness? To be you eat together). open? To be explicit? To be attentive? Other times, we may Heres another To be consistent? Why? Make a decibe together physically priority thing: Have sion to overcome your weakness. Take and we may even be monthly dates with action! speaking to each other each of your children. but were not together Thats where you emotionally. give each child your This is a common undivided attention. scenario. I have one rule A mother could be for those dates: No talking to her teenager but homilies or sermons the youngster is texting on allowed! For your her cell phone. dates together, shut your mouth much Someone could be sharing her burden to of the time and just listen. You can open a friend, but the latter is thinking of her own your mouth, but only so that you can share burdens. whats happening to your life. A wife could be discussing an issue with her Friends, its possible to have great husband but hes reading the paper. relationships. Deep communication requires focus the Give them more oxygen and let them ability to give 100% of yourself in a conversabreathe more. K tion. To drop everything when youre in front of another human being. This requires practice, so keep doing it until it becomes second nature.
4. BE CONSISTENT
BOS ACTION STEPS:
3. BE ATTENTIVE
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it Happened
was partying at a disco with my mom and some friends when a stranger, in his early thirties, came up to me and asked, Are you Geraldine Zervoulakos? Before I could even reply, he continued, I recognized you the moment you entered the disco. Im your father, Geraldine. My mom was sitting beside me but my dad didnt recognize her because she had aged. I couldnt believe what he just said. My mom raised my three younger brothers and me single-handedly. She hardly spoke about my dad or the other men who fathered each of my brothers. During those rare times when she did, it would only be to rant about their faults. All my life, I didnt even see a photo of the man who left my mom and me on the day I was born. I demanded for some identification. He pulled out his wallet and showed me his ID. My mom didnt say anything except to confirm that he was my dad. It was true! I was meeting my father for the first time in my life. Overwhelmed by emotion, I threw myself at him and hugged him tight. Daddy Daddy, that was all I could say as tears flowed down my cheeks. But the poignant reunion didnt last long. Out of nowhere, a beer bottle came crashing on Dads head. It was his girlfriend who hit him out of jealousy, unaware that she had just ruined a special moment between a long-lost father and his 14year-old daughter. That first face-to-face encounter with my dad was going to be the last in many years to come. While I grew
for the LORD

By Myra Manibog as told to Dina Pecaa up sorely missing a father figure to provide for me and protect me, little did I know that my Father in Heaven had always been there watching over me.
CLOSELY GUARDED SECRET
I was an innocent nine-year-old when my stepfather began to molest me. This cycle of his unwelcome touching and kissing went on for almost a year. Confused, afraid and uncertain if my mom would believe me, I kept the sordid secret to myself. Our troubled finances didnt help either. I was studying in an exclusive school but my mom and stepfather had difficulty putting up for my studies. There was a time when I was excluded from taking the final exams because we couldnt pay my tuition. There were times when lugaw (porridge) was all that mom could afford to
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prepare for my school lunch. Because I was ashamed, I would go to the back of the auditorium and eat my meager lunch by myself. Our problems with money became a source of insecurity especially being among my classmates whose parents were successful professionals and who could afford to give them things I desired for myself. The sexual abuse and
filming Snake Sisters which was to be their launching movie. That was the time when Romy introduced me to Dr. Rey. It so happened that bold actress Myrna Castillo, who had a guest appearance in the movie, suddenly walked out in the middle of the shooting because of a misunderstanding. The producer badly needed a replacement and Dr. Rey recommended me. That very day I was brought to the location shoot in Quezon
lead or character role. Movie offers came one after another.
HITTING ROCK BOTTOM
Myra, looking mature at 12 years old, with friends
our difficult life drove me to look for a job. All I wanted to do was to get away from my stepfather and take my family with me as well. So at the age of 11, I landed my first job as a print ad and commercial model. Because I was a well-developed adolescent, I also modeled for afternoon lingerie shows that were quite popular in the early 80s. I immediately became the breadwinner of the family. It was by chance that I entered show business at the age of 13. Romy Lopez, the couturier who discovered me, had many connections in the industry. One of them was Dr. Rey dela Cruz, the infamous manager of the Soft Drink Beauties. Dr. Reys starlets were
province and signed a five-year contract with Dr. Rey as my manager. Snake Sisters gave me instant stardom. Although the movie was for international release, the movie made its debut in the newly inaugurated Film Center of the Philippines. The day after the opening of the movie, I commuted to Dr. Reys office and people in the streets recognized me as the daring newcomer the boldest of the bold stars. Immediately, I had the attention of showbiz producers and others in the industry. Mother Lily Monteverde signed me up with Regal Films. Among the soft drink beauties, I made the most number of movies because I was willing to take what was offered me, whether it be a lead, second
My instant rise to fame began its nosedive when I followed my boyfriend to Japan where he worked as a dancer. I was devastated to discover that he was a married man after all. To make my ex-boyfriend jealous, I rebounded into another relationship with his co-dancer, who claimed to have been interested in courting me for a long time. In Japan, I lived a chaotic life. With a star complex I got from my instant stardom, I carried on a lifestyle of partying and good time minus the responsibilities. At the boarding house where I stayed, I didnt lift a finger to do any chores, not even to wash my own underwear. I left my things in disarray on top of my bed or stuffed them in the cabinet. I didnt bother to help clean the house or wash dishes. My behavior angered the other women I was living with. So they ganged up on me and almost kicked me out. My new boyfriend came to the rescue. Aside from defending me from my housemates, he also offered to do my chores. I realized how much he cared for me and I eventually learned to care for him. We went home to the Philippines and got married on November 4, 1987. The following year, I gave birth to our eldest son. I was only 19. I thought life would get better but it only got worse. I gained a lot of weight after giving birth and I had a difficult time landing acting jobs. While I continued searching for work in showbiz, my husband returned to Japan to work. Being fat became a source of insecurity, especially because my husband no longer found me desirable. When I joined him in Japan, he introduced me to a remedy. He convinced me that taking
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shabu was a quick and effective way to slim down. I fooled myself into thinking that Id use the stuff to losing weight and then quit. But soon enough, my husband and I were hooked. Drugs were expensive in Japan and before long, we began to sell the things we worked hard to gain cars, houses, jewelry just to support our addiction. Eventually, shabu became our life and we no longer had the drive or the sense to earn a living. The heavy drug use brought me on the verge of insanity. I began having hallucinations and hearing voices. I also became paranoid. And to make matters worse, my husband began to stray, leaving me more insecure than ever before. Our arguments would end up in verbal and physical abuse. Our failed relationship robbed us of any joy we should have had when I became pregnant with our second son. Even before he was born, we had already gone our separate ways. I desperately wanted to go home to the Philippines but didnt know how. I lost my passport, my Japanese visa was long expired and I had no money for a plane ticket. Having reached rock bottom, all I could do was pray. Lord, pag pinauwi mo ako, pagsisilbihan Kita (Lord, if you make a way for me to go home, I will serve you), I promised Him.
me home. So when I walked in the embassy, they took care of everything they traced my passports whereabouts, bought my ticket and booked me on a plane home. Now a single mother of two boys, I needed a job to support my family. After a few months of searching, I landed a job as a manager of a club named Impiyerno (hell). Whether it was coincidence or just Gods humor, hell was probably where I was all this time. I forgot about the promise I made to God at the pit of my desperation but He didnt. On my first day at Impiyerno, I met a man who happened to be treating out his lawyers at the club. He recognized me and sent a waiter to ask if he could speak with me. He turned out to be a fan of mine. He asked why I was working there and said he would help me find a better job. He endorsed me to his friend Rez Cortez, an actor who was actively serving in the Oasis of Love Community. In spite of my unfaithfulness, the Lord remained faithful to His promise to me.
ANSWERED PRAYER
NEW LIFE, NEW MISSION
It was at this difficult time that the Lord sent me a most unlikely angel. An officemate whom I disliked gave me a prayer book as a Christmas present. That got me praying every day. The Lord was quick to answer my prayers. Unknown to me, my manager back in the Philippines had filed a missing person report on me. The Philippine embassy was then tasked to look for me and bring
When I joined the community, I first served in the music ministry. I wasnt that good a singer but I loved to sing. Then during one of our outreaches in Cubao, the sharer for that night couldnt come. At the last minute, I was asked to stand in and give my life testimony. That began my new ministry in the community. I spent the next 13 years traveling to different parts of the Philippines
to give talks and proclaim Gods Good News. Although Im not an exceptionally gifted speaker, I surrendered myself to Him, allowing Him to use me as His instrument. The Lord used even the problems and struggles I went through to enable me to reach out and tell others about the powerful way He has worked in my life. Ive also learned to grow dependent on the Lord. During the times when I would run out of money and I wouldnt know where to get food to feed my children, Id confidently call on my Tatay (Father) for provision. And He has never failed me. Today, He enables me to provide for my family through my work as entertainment consultant in one of the progressive call centers in the country. One of the biggest blessings Ive received is my eldest son, Gerald Albert, whom He has called to be a seminarian and whose education is generously supported by the Immaculate Heart of Mary Community. My two other children, Von Aiki and Alekzandra Nicolle are studying as well. Ive also adopted my youngest brother, Kevin, whom Ive always considered as one of my children. We are blessed to live a peaceful and prayerful family life. Now Ive realized that God never meant for me to stay on in show business. More than the lure of the camera, the limelight, the fame, He wanted me to take care of His business and be part of His show on this earth. And His show will go on for eternity. K
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special Section
live fits her white pair of shoes for the 1,732nd time and tries to memorize how she looks like come 3pm at St. James Cathedral tomorrow at her wedding. Gretch complains of too much work imposed upon her by The White Witch of Narnia, who happens to be her boss. James just lost his mother to a treacherous heart attack. Ernest, with so many job and business opportunities coming his way, swirls a Coke bottle to help him choose which blessing to entertain. Gil will give a talk, share his personal testimony, help in the medical mission, play the guitar for the church choir, pray over the sick, counsel the confused, give money to the poor, donate his right kidney to a friend, and have an audience with the Pope, all happening at 11 a.m. tomorrow. Anne prays the Rosary, asking God to bring back her boyfriend who married her best friend 58 years ago. Nina is worried that Shangri-La declined her reservation request for her upcoming golden wedding anniversary reception when the desk officer found out shes only 21 and doesnt even have a boyfriend. Lawrence and his wife are aboard China Airlines for the first time to be missionaries in Beijing. Jeff just got fired from his job. Ned, still lying beside a bombshell chic in a motel bed, figures out how to get rid of the guilt feeling when he looks into his wifes eyes later at home. With no other job openings, Jay forced himself to take a salesmans job even if his hearts true longing is the aroma of the laboratory of the research and development department. Q: What do all of these guys have in common? A: They are all under stress!
C a n Yo u
Stress: What Is it?
When something happens to us, we automatically evaluate the situation mentally. If we decide that the demands of the situation outweigh our capabilities, then we label the situation as stressful and react with the classic stress response. If we decide that our coping capabilities outweigh the demands of the situation, then we dont see it as stressful. In particular, stress is any demand (force, pressure, strain) placed on us, and our reaction to it. Everyone who is living, working and breathing at this very moment experiences stress. It is a fact of life you cannot avoid. Stress, itself, ranges in intensity from the negative extreme of being in physical danger to the joy of completing a desired goal. Not all stress is bad. Everyone perceives situations differently. A stressful situation to one may not be to another. Situations that are considered stress-provoking are known as stressors.
The Stress Effect
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If we decide that a situation is stressful, we put into play the bodys fight or flight reaction, causing the release of adrenalin, a natural body chemical. We each have a particular way of responding to stress. Some of us have physical signs such as muscle tension and difficulty sleeping (insomnia). Others may have more emotional reactions, such as outbursts of tears or anger.
KERYGMA SEPTEMBER 2006 KERYGMA SEPTEMBER 2006
Ta k e t h e H e a t ?
and a humble church worker into a thermonuclear ground zero explosion. The stress effect, therefore, can be pretty much up to us. This can be good news because this means we can manage the stress effect by managing our response. Below are the 1-2-3 steps to follow: Step 1: Acknowledge You Are Under Stress Bad stress has very damaging effects to our bodies. Do you experience increased heart rate and blood pressure, rapid breathing, sweating, headaches, stomach complaints and acute illnesses such as colds and flu? Many people suffering from excessive stress have symptoms of poor health. Having symptoms that mimic old illnesses are common. If not addressed, these can even lead to serious illnesses such as heart disease, ulcers and insomnia. Recent researches have even established a direct correlation between stress and cancer. You may want to look at your recent behavior changes as well. Do you feel being driven and pressured? Do you experience tiredness and fatigue, anxiety, memory loss, leading to increase in smoking, coffee drinking and/or alcohol consumption, which results to errors in judgment, in extreme occasions, even depression, personality changes and mental illness? When your name is Jon Escoto and you start thinking you look like Brandon Routh, youre still ok. But if you actually start wearing a blue skintight outfit with red briefs over it complete with the S marked cape going to the office, youre most likely in serious stress! Just like anything, solution to your stress comes only when you make an honest admission: Hey! Im stressed out! Step 2: Uncover your Stressor Life events like moving, leaving school, changing jobs and experiencing losses can be stress-provoking. Daily hassles such as being stuck in traffic, deadlines, conflicts with family members, and dealing with busy city life also contribute to the levels of stress. What you dont know, you cannot manage. Its important therefore that we know what causes our stress.
How we perceive a stress-provoking event and how we react to it determines its impact on our life and health. We may be motivated and invigorated by the events in our lives, or we may see some as stressful and react in a manner that may have a negative effect on our physical, mental, social, and spiritual well-being. Stress can not only ruin personal lives, it can also wreck relationships. Stress can turn a romantic husband into an insensitive ogre in the swamp, a self-sacrificing mother into a Chinese firecracker
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Knowing the above kinds of stressors can be relatively easy. Whats hard to figure out are those caused by our unhealthy mental, emotional and spiritual conditions. These need some kind of help to uncover. Are you overly anxious about the future like Nina? Has the complaining spirit taken you over and robbed you the joy of life like Gretch? Are you taking service responsibilities more than what you can fulfill like Gil? (Remember, when you do more than what you can handle for the day, you are doing something God doesnt want you to do!) Are you still stuck living in the past and have not been able to move on like Anne? Are you still in the bondage of anger and unforgiveness? Are you in a sinful relationship like Ned? (Yes, the number one consequence of sin is stress!) Are you trying to be someone you are not, like Jay? Have you taken on a stress-filled lifestyle (work, commitments, etc.) beyond what your physical, mental and emotional frame can handle? Are you comparing yourself with others and/or have unrealistic expectations about yourself? (I cant be like Brandon Routh! Hes handsome and talented. Im only handsome. I just have to accept that!) Step 3: Manage your Stress There is no single right way of managing your stress. Each of us must figure out what works best. This depends, in part, on your coping style. There are three main styles. None of these styles is better than the other and some people use a mixture of them. The person with a task-oriented style may feel comfortable analyzing the situation and taking action to deal directly with the situation. Those with an emotion-oriented style may prefer to deal with their feelings and find social supports. The person who is distraction-oriented
may use activities or work to take their minds off the situation.
Task-Oriented Style
Are my stressors life events, daily hassles, deep-down conditions or combinations of these? What do I need to do (or not do) to respond directly to them? Here are some examples of direct actions: Employ time management techniques, set SMART goals, change jobs, give up other commitments, delegate tasks, apply quick decision-making techniques, venture into an exercise program (physical activity is one of the most effective stress remedies around! Stress stretches and aerobic exercises can reduce anxiety stress up to 50%), read and study about your stress condition (tons of good resource materials on stress abound), plan a good nutrition program (a well balanced diet will improve your ability to appropriately respond to stress), get enough rest and sleep, seek financial counseling, etc.
Emotion-Oriented Style
Sometimes, when we are feeling depressed, anxious, confused or unable to cope, talking to supportive friends, family members, or joining a support group may be very helpful. But if that isnt enough, you should consider seeking professional Christian counseling. Talking to a therapist will help you deal with your feelings. While counseling cannot fix all the problems in your life, it can help you sort things out so that you feel more able to cope. A therapist can help you learn more about yourself, so that you can use your own strengths to regain a feeling of control over your life. Remember, it is how we think of, or react to, lifes events that make us feel over-
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stressed not just the events themselves. If you belong to a Christian community, open up (to the right person) and receive love! I learned that people get burned out not because they are going through a lot, but rather because they receive love less. Receive love from God. Pray your heart out. What makes God the best counselor is that when you pour it all out, He just keeps quiet and listens! He knows how you feel. He is the Lord of the Stress! So stressed that He sweat blood in the garden! Besides, what can be more stressful than the Passion that He went through? Its always good to have someone who understands. He does (see Hebrews 4:15-16). And He heals our souls.
can be a stressful experience! In my mind, two questions can help: Is this a positive way of coping? Drugs and alcohol are obviously coping strategies that will cause problems. Too much coffee and smoking makes matters worse (nicotine is a stimu-
and anticipate the masterpiece that He weaves from even the threads of errors we commit.
Some Final Thoughts
Distraction-Oriented Style
Learn and apply some relaxation techniques and activities (going for walks, reading for pleasure, listening to music, taking a bath, meditation, guided imagery, deep breathing exercises, progressive relaxation, going out for movies, etc.). Retreats and planned vacations help a lot. A good offense is a good defense! Volunteer and serve others. It gets your mind off yourself and renews your perspective: How better off you are than other people and how blessed you have been. Its amazing how serving other people serves you.
Some Good Questions
Finding the right help for stress
lant and two and a half cups of coffee doubles the epinephrine level). Also, if you use anything excessively, even if it appears harmless, can have negative effects (e.g. overeating, over-dieting, uncontrolled diversion like play gambling, etc.). Is this going to help in the long run? More than dealing with the stress symptoms, we deal with the root. Let the truth of Gods word diagnose you of Deep-Down Stressors. Let His wisdom lead you to fullness of life (John 10:10). Let the Light of His Spirit illuminate your faith to see beyond the troubles
One good way to deal with stress is to avoid it. If this is not possible, a second way is to change how you react to it. This requires an attitude and perception formed by Gods truth. Dont forget the cheapest practical solutions available: Prayer in faith, Christian community friendships, and of course, humor (thats us Kerygma!) Relax! God needs living saints, more than dead martyrs. Live a holy life! Its not stress-free, but its joyful and can be free from unnecessary worries. Complete relief from stress is to be with Jesus in heaven. Until then, we either groan or pretend we dont. Living the life of the Kingdom doesnt guarantee a stress-free cruise. Jesus had His own share of stress. What makes you think that God will spare you from stress if He did not spare even His own Son? Have your forgotten that Gods overarching purpose is to transform you and me into the image and likeness of His Son? God uses stress to transform us. Holy stress, if theres such a phrase, can be best friends companions that may be sticking with us while were on this earth. But dont forget, youre the manager. K
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special Section
KERYGMA SEPTEMBER 2006 KERYGMA MAY
testimonies
By Alvin Fabella
ou work too much! Has anyone ever said that line to you? Maybe you dont take it seriously but have you considered the possibility that you are a workaholic? Check out these 20 guide questions to help you determine if you are one. 1. Do you work at least 50 hours a week? 2. Do people, most especially those close to you, often accuse you of neglecting them in favor of work-related matters? 3. Do you regularly use work pressure as an excuse to avoid people? 4. Do you think that hobbies are something you will get into if ever you have the time? 5. Does your work define you and make you feel a complete person? 6. Do you often wake up at night or have trouble going to sleep because your mind is occupied with thinking about work and work issues? 7. Are you having problems with your diet and your health because of work-related issues? 8. Are you often unsatisfied with your accomplishments? Do you always feel you could have done more? 9. Do you have difficulty taking time off for a vacation? Are you too busy to use or enjoy the rewards of your work? Do others get more out of your income and lifestyle than you do? 10. Do you become easily impatient with
people who do not understand your commitments? 11. Do you often take lunch while working? Do you consider a 20-minute lunch break too long? 12. Do you get irritated when people ask you to stop doing your work in order to do something else? 13. Do you get impatient with those who have other priorities aside from work? 14. Do you feel that getting back to work is home sweet home? 15. Do you accept the fact that your life is unbalanced but you convince yourself that you like it that way? 16. Are you afraid that if you dont work hard, you will lose your job or be a failure? 17. Is the future a constant worry for you even when things are going well? 18. Have you been drinking your coffee in the same dirty cup for the last three days? 19. Is taking your spouse to a formal business conference dinner your idea of an intimate anniversary celebration? 20. Do you believe that more money will solve the other problems in your life? If you replied yes to more than half of the questions then it must be time to re-evaluate your priorities. Remember, being addicted to work is voluntary. You always have the choice between working too much or working just right. Better yet, why not just work on having a balanced life, enjoy your family and friends, and reap the benefits of it? K
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By Dina Pecaa
magine yourself sitting in your car, stuck in the after-office traffic jam. Like you, people rushed out of the office at the end of the day but found that going home meant traveling at a snails pace through the voluminous sea of vehicles. You try to put at bay the onset of what could be a monster-of-a-headache or a bad case of migraine by calmly breathing in and out and tapping your fingers on the dashboard to the tune playing over the radio. Unfortunately, the headache throbs insistently in spite of your efforts to relax. There goes stress wielding its evil wand again! Most of us experience stress this way. Its a widespread consequence of modern life that has the power to affect or even harm us in some way. It can manifest itself physically and even cause high blood pressure, heart disease, ulcers, insomnia, some form of arthritis and asthma, anxiety and depression, severely low self-esteem, forgetfulness, loss of concentration, angry outbursts and a variety of phobias. According to Tetel Fernandez, training executive at Hong Kong and Shanghai Banking Corporation (HSBC), the effects of stress can also manifest in subtle, less obvious ways. There are times Im caught unaware by stress. This happens when I become irritable and suddenly snap at someone for no reason. The person on the receiving end brings this unusual behavior to my attention and thats the only time I realize how stressed out I am, she shares. But stress has a good side too. Believe it or not, positive stress is energy that can be dynamic and stimulating a motivating life force. A physical therapist once told me that there is both good and bad stress, explains Tetel. You experience good stress when you ex-
ercise or when you are challenged to do better at work. The key is balance and moderation. There should be a certain amount of stress in your life. This only becomes harmful when stress is not managed properly. When overwhelmed by stress, step back and take a sanity break, advises Tetel. Take stock of what you want to do with your life. Ask yourself: Is this all that Im here for? As a member of Ligaya ng Panginoon since 1982, Tetel has learned to stop, take some time to pray and even go on a personal retreat when she loses sight of her purpose. I realized that part of my stress was that my focus was primarily on career and work. I spent less time connecting with God. I had to go back to Him and it made a lot of difference. I went back to my support group in community. When I went back to my spiritual connections, to be connected with God, I was able to deal properly with stress once again, she says. Tetel cites five major stressors at home and at work: broken relationships, ineffective work habits (poor management), ineffective management style (not delegating tasks), ineffective or inefficient systems and ones choice of lifestyle. Stress happens when your life is not balanced, when youre focused on only one aspect. If I may quote from Stephen Coveys 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, we have four endowments: mental, emotional, spiritual and physical. Any imbalance in one of these can cause stress. Finding the balance in your response to stressors will help make stress work for you. This balance can be achieved by living a simple life, Tetel explains. Know your purpose in life, your goal in life. Balance the four endowments. You wont be at a loss if you just do this. K
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testimony
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was attending prayer meetings as far back as 30 years ago. My mom, who wasnt a particularly religious woman had a deep hunger for God and would tag me along to Charismatic services as a little girl. That was the start of my spiritual life that would later bear fruit in becoming a mainstay icon in one of the most famous Catholic Charismatic communities in the country. My early exposure to such an atmosphere set the pace for my childhood and teen life. I had simple ambitions to become somebody God wanted me to be. My one passion was music and I began to serve in that ministry. Although I had no formal training, everything about music came so naturally. I recognized it as a gift from the Lord that I received freely, so I decided to also give back freely. I eventually became a fulltime servant of the Lord, with my gift of music blossoming simultaneously with a heightening spiritual career. The community I belonged to had many activities and every night there was something to do. I was in my early 20s and single and my family supported me in my conviction to serve totally. They didnt mind that I was unable to contribute financially or that I was physically absent most of the time. I was contented with the small allowance I was receiving. The simple equation of my life then was that Gods call went in accord with my availability and desire. As the years went by, I was bestowed with bigger responsibilities. With the high position in the community came privileges like frequent trips abroad. Deep within me I knew they were the favors of the Lord being showered down on me. For my part, I kept on purifying my intentions and motives day by day. I maintained a weekly sabbatical pause. Spiritual burnout was not an issue. But after long years of fulltime commitment, an eye-opening situation pushed me to re-
an anonymo
direct my endeavors. My parents eventually retired and, being the only one able, I now had to make ends meet for the family. For me, it was clearly the will of the Lord. I felt that I could not be a true witness if I turned a blind eye to the needs of my family. Since my minimal allowance was just enough for my needs but not for my familys, I got some projects on the side. Little by little, I distributed my commitment proportionally
Were these rigid standa from us or were they fan tations? Was it obedien
KERYGMA SEPTEMBER 2006 KERYGMA SEPTEMBER 2006
When too much of a good thing is bad for you
ous testimony
to my family and community. At the same time, I was training other servants so that there would be others to fill in the service. Now with similar financial concerns like the other servants, I considered the unique situations and burdens of those under my supervision. As a leader, I did my best to understand members who couldnt cope with the taxing nightly commitments. Soon, I was accused of not focusing
ards what God wanted natical human interprence or spiritual abuse?
my full endeavors on the community. I was expecting my leaders to understand my situation. Instead, the conflict escalated when they required exact obedience from me. I was caught in a position where I couldnt say no to my leaders. My attempts to explain were construed as confrontational. It dawned on me that obedience to our elders had become a culture of compliance. The pressure in me began to mount. I love God and I knew in my prayers that He comforted me. Whenever I heard someone say that God would no longer bless me because of the choices I made, the more I became challenged to prove that He didnt contain His blessings under one umbrella alone. There were other issues that surfaced. No longer happy with the setup that pinned me to the wall, I decided to leave fulltime servanthood in our community but promised to keep serving the Lord. But the ultimate control that my leaders had on every detail of my life made it hard for me to so much as breathe normally. Were these rigid standards what God wanted from us or were they fanatic human interpretations? Was this obedience or could it be simply spiritual abuse? The mounting stress caused my spiritual burnout. I left the community for good and, although my reputation was maligned, I remained quiet. I still have the power in me though. Gods power, that is. I have been praying to start a ministry pretty soon, which is totally different from what Ive done in the past. But for now Im just enjoying resting in the Lord. K
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testimony
PRESSURE IN PERSPECTIVE H
Gods Training Ground

Constant verbal abuse from my boss eroded my dignity until I simply burned out.
By Aries Polumbarit as told to Reden Cerrer
eres a useful guide to help you view stress in the right way: Learn to appreciate the potential value of stress in creating incentive and sense of purpose, which we all need in our lives. Get to know yourself and become fully aware of your personality type. Remember that stress is caused from within and can be best dealt with from within. Learn to identify the various sources of stress and levels of stress in your own particular lifestyle. Be aware of your reactions to different sources of stress, so that these do not take you by surprise. Avoid perfectionism, when this means expecting too much of both yourself and others. Sort out your priorities. Learn when to say no and avoid over-committing yourself. Be mindful and avoid causing stress to others. Learn to think positively. Learn the art of effective delegation. Get into the habit of talking problems through rather than bottling them up. Adopt a physically fit lifestyle of proper diet, exercise and relaxation to fight stress.
(Source: Coping with Stress by Helen Dore)
t all started in early 2003 when sudden changes in management and organizational structures took place in the government agency that I worked in. I used to work in Human Resource Department, handling the 201 files. Prior to the reorganization, I remember it used to be a good office a place where you can find a sense of pride in what you did for a living, and have a high self-respect as an employee. But a new manager and new supervisors came in with a radical shift in management style. It threw us offguard and we braced ourselves for a rough ride, particularly since the new manager was verbally abusive. The new manager was my friend. Or so I thought. I was surprised by his utter disregard for peoples feelings. It was clear to me that relationships at work would take on a different color for the sake of professionalism but bloody red was not exactly the color I had in mind. My friends verbal abuse made the seconds feel like hours and the hours like years. I also lost a great deal of dignity because he would berate me in front of the staff, whenever I didnt get his instructions accurately. The rest of the staff also got their own daily dose of bashing for every menial error they unintentionally committed.
The Strain
Despite the daily abuse, I persisted for the sake of my family. After all, my wife, Lulu, and I had three kids aged 14, 13 and 10 all of them in private schools. But I became terribly depressed. Soon enough, I felt I was burned out. I would wake up each morning loathing what I already knew was in store for me the entire day. I dreaded the end of my Sundays because that meant going to work the next day. My self-esteem hit rock bottom. I began K question to my ability to do things. Am I really that dumb? Can I not really understand simple instructions? Do I really deserve
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just need an income of 1,000 a day.
The Bottom of the Barrel
such treatment? In the last quarter of 2003, I reached my lowest point and said, Enough is enough. I talked to Lulu about resigning from work. Of course, the practicality of employment far outweighed the uncertainty of a business venture. Still I decided to resign. I was grateful that my wife understood my decision. She supported me in spite of her fear that the move might become a problem. I told myself, I can do this. I
In January 2004, I put up a computer shop that gave me an income of P800 daily. I thought this business was sure to take off but I was surprised that the P20,000 operating expenses ate up the shops P30,000 gross income. So I did some on-site computer repair that earned me P300 to P400 per job. But that still was not enough to ease the financial burden. In the midst of my turmoil and burnout, my prayers became more intense and personal. I would get up early in the morning and go to Mass and have my prayer time. I cried openly as I talked to my God. Through my depression, I began to see and understand my life in a different way. Looking back, I realized that my faith was neither strong nor mature enough. During my difficult moments in my former job, I would assure myself that there was a higher order than my abusive boss, a God who looked after and loved me. But the overwhelming effect of the verbal abuse I got made me forget His great love for me. Because I felt Gods compassion was beyond my reach during that time, I took matters into my own hands.
A Ray of Hope
In October 2004, a light suddenly pierced through the darkness. My former boss called me up asking me to finalize my resignation. He explained that technically, I was still on vacation.
To this day, Im still awed at the way things turned out. I rescinded my resignation and went back to work. Even though I went back to the same job, the same office, the same people and the same verbal abuse, I was no longer the same person. This time I was equipped with the lessons I had learned from Him in the past nine and a half months. I was more in control of my emotions. I was not as affected by the verbal abuse because I realized that there were bigger battles to fight with the Lord on my side. I knew that the emotional stress, hurts and frustrations I experienced were nothing compared to the plans of the Lord for me. I learned to live one day at a time and realized that it is by Gods strength that I overcome difficulties and problems by His grace and not my own strength. I refocused my life on Christ and made Him my lifes foundation. It was during my season of desolation when God molded and strengthened me in ways that I was not even aware of. I saw clearly how my life had been, and how God had been with me all along. Now I am enjoying my work. I love what I am doing. This is the work that God has given to me in spite of the pressures it brings. Yet, I no longer feel burned out now that the Lord is my strength. K
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gawad Kalinga
A Borderless World
An astronauts dream finds fulfillment in a GK village
NASA Astronaut Willie McCool
any of us look at the night sky and marvel at the stars; how they live in such harmony as they fulfill a common goal: To shed light upon the earth. But few of us have had the chance to look from the outside in, the way Superman sees an aerial view of the world. But once in a while, we discover one of our own who has seen both points of view, their insights flash before us like a beautiful comet thats hard to miss. Such was the legacy of astronaut William Cameron Willie McCool whose death inspired the birth of a Gawad Kalinga Legacy Village in Moncada, Tarlac.
Born on September 23, 1961 in San Diego, California, Willie McCool was a United States Navy commander and a test pilot before he became an astronaut at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA). McCool was a talented astronaut and was known for his respect for others, according to Astronaut Office Chief Kent Rominger. Willie was incredibly humble, with exceptional talents, Rominger said. He was especially gifted at quickly learning and mastering technical information, but was also known for his tremendous consideration for others, he added. In 2003, McCool became the space shuttle pilot of Columbia mis-
sion STS-107. It was his first flight in space. The Columbia Space Shuttle was launched on January 16, 2003 with seven crewmembers aboard. They performed 80 experiments while in orbit. At the end of a 16-day scientific mission and 16 minutes before landing at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida on February 1, the space shuttle disintegrated during re-entry to the earths atmosphere. All seven astronauts were killed. McCool was 42. He spent 15 days, 22 hours and 20 minutes in space. Before leaving though, Willie had left a very significant insight about our world which he sent back home to air control on January 29 as he and his
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Marjorie Ann Duterte

crewmates enjoyed a unique view of Earth from the Columbia space shuttle: From our orbital vantage point, we observe an Earth without borders, full of peace, beauty and magnificence, and we pray that humanity as a whole can imagine a borderless world as we see it, and strive to live as one in peace, he said. Though he wasnt able to
from the fruits of its 51 mango trees. From one mans death, hundreds will now gain new life.
For the Children

Three years after McCool left earth, a GK community in his honor is now rising. This birth coincided with the launching of a second space shuttle last July the Discovery which will
no greater experience, at least in my career thus far, than to see the excitement and the eyes light up when you talk to kids about experiments. Many of the children in the village will now probably dream of becoming astronauts one day when they learn the story of the man who gave his life for their future. It is not impossible to dream that the first Filipino astronaut to conquer space might even come from this GK Village as they get inspired by McCools legacy.
Amazing Coincidence
Meanwhile, the Gawad Kalinga National coordinators, who randomly assign benefactors to sponsor GK village, designated Tony and Malou Pascua to sponsor the construction of the homes in Moncada, Tarlac. In Gods amazing providence, it turns out that Tony was one of those who worked on the Columbia Space Shuttle when it was built in 1980. He was the only Filipino in the crew. Tony and his wife, Malou, sponsored 50 GK homes without knowing that the land in which their sponsored village would rise belonged to the pilot of the same space shuttle that Tony worked on early in his career. Indeed, God had carefully planned the events like a puzzle falling into place in His perfect time. Finally, Willie McCools dream of a borderless world where people from all over the world will live as one in peace will become a reality right at his own GK Legacy village. K
McCools mother-in-law, Atilana, at the GK site in Tarlac
see his vision fulfilled on his return home, his death gave hope to many people from the United States and as far as a small quiet town in Tarlac, Philippines.
Filipino Connection
Willie was married to a Filipina, Lani Rambayon, with whom he had three sons: Cameron, Chris and Sean. His mother-inlaw Atilana, a Gawad Kalinga volunteer, donated one hectare of land in Moncada, Tarlac, in memory of her beloved son-inlaw. On this land will rise the USN Commander Willie McCool GK Legacy Village that will provide the poorest of the poor with shelter and livelihood
continue Columbias journey. McCool is also set to pass on his legacy to what he considers the worlds future its children. Like his mother-in-law, Atilana, a retired teacher, he had great hope for children. In his memory, Atilana is planning to set up a mini Science Museum in his GK village to train Filipino children in science and math. McCool believes that his work has always been about enabling technology for the future. Prior to embarking on his first and final mission in space, he said, The folks who are going to use that technology and then continue the wheels turning are the children today. Theres
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heroes of Faith
Why Two Judges Are Serving God and the Poor Every Week And Are Happy!
The Amazing Story of RTC Judges Jimmy And Beth Guray (Yes, Theyre Husband and Wife)
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ne day, I gave a talk to a roomful of Regional Trial Court (RTC) judges. I didnt know what to expect. Most of them looked like well, like judges. Proper, distinguished, serious, intelligent and even grim. I thought they wouldnt laugh at my jokes but they did so with pleasure. And when we prayed together, they shed tears like everyone else. At the end of my talk, I asked them to do the unthinkable. I asked these grey-haired, noble, dignified men to embrace each other. Man, it was a beautiful sight. After my talk, a married couple approached me. Both of them are judges. (What are the odds of that happening? I wonder if they fight each other in juridical language? I hereby pronounce you guilty as charged and declare your case unappealable. Case closed!) But when they shared their life to me, I whipped out my laptop and announced, Just one moment please. Im officially starting an interview. So heres the inspiring story of the honorable Jimmy and Beth Guray
an interview by Bo Sanchez
Bo: Give me a little background of yourself, Jimmy. Judge Jimmy: I grew up in a remote place in Pangasinan. My parents were very poor. We didnt even own the house we stayed in. Our house was made of nipa hut and other light materials. I even remember not having slippers to use for school. But through sheer hard work, I finished my AB in Far Eastern University. But I couldnt attend the graduation because my parents could not join me they had no money to go to Manila and I did not have money to rent a toga. And when I graduated from Law, it was the same story my parents couldnt join me as well. When I passed the bar, nothing changed. I had to take my oath at the PICC without my parents. We were so poor, we didnt have anything as little as transportation money. Bo: And look at where you are now. Judge Jimmy: This is Gods gift. Bo: How did you get to know the Lord? Judge Jimmy: Through the years, I was on-and-off in many Charismatic communities. My conversion took a long time. Today, I feel that I was only really converted when I started serving the poor through the Couples for Christ, especially Gawad Kalinga and its Christian Life Programs (CLP). It was the poor that gave me my spiritual conversion. We are now unit leaders. Bo: Wow. Judge Jimmy: (Looking at his wife) My wife comes from a rich family. Until we joined this ministry, she never visited a squatters area. But we do now regularly. Just yesterday, when we were supposed to be resting in the comforts of our home like everyone else, we were in the slums again the whole day standing in the rain and muddy eskenitas recruiting people to attend our Christian Life Program because we are the leaders for our ongoing CLP. Bo: I dont think thats a common sight two honorable judges serving God and the poor. Jimmy, how did you become a judge? Judge Jimmy: I was a fiscal in Manila for 16 years and applied for judgeship in Pangasinan, my home province. I prayed for that position but God did not make me a judge. Someone else was appointed and I felt disappointed. At that point, I thought God did not love me. Why did He not answer my prayer? Six months later, I received the shocking news that the judge who was appointed there was
ambushed and killed over a court case. And in a few months time, I was appointed judge in Paraaque, a few kilometres from my house! God didnt want me to be away from my wife and our two children. And today, I realize that He also wanted me to serve the poor here in Paraaque. He answered my prayer according to His will. Bo: Is It hard being a judge? Judge Jimmy: When I became a judge, I asked the Lord to give me strength to resist temptations. People are willing to shell out a lot of money to have their cases decided in their favor. And yes, God has given me strength to say no. Bo: God provides. Judge Jimmy: (Speaking to his wife) Why is it that when I became a judge and relied solely on our salaries all our expenses were taken care of? And we are still able to give tithes to the Lord. Judge Beth: Thats true. And out of our pockets, were able to help the poor. Judge Jimmy: Do you notice? Not one of our children (get sick to the point of being) brought to the hospital Judge Beth: Because the Lord knows that we have nothing to spend because we already spent our money for His greater glory and for the poor. Bo: Thank you Beth and Jimmy for your wonderful story. Your example will inspire many. K
Judge Jimmy and Judge Beth Guray
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Attention: Singles Searching For Answers
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How To Find Your One True Love

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THE POWER OF INTERCESSION

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We believe that every Christian is called to be an Intercessor. And we believe that many Catholic communities are not experiencing Gods power as fully as the Lord wants them to because they lack this important ministry. Bring your community members to this seminar to learn about the ministry of Intercession - and let them discover how simple it is! They will realize that everyone is called to intercede. And as they become intercessors, you will witness how the power of God will flow more in your group! VITA MONFORTE a long time community leader has been in the Charismatic Renewal for twenty seven years now. Conference Fee: P650.00 / person (fee includes lunch & Seminar Guide Kit)
Do You Have These Questions? How do I discern Gods Will for my state-of-life? What prevents me from finding my One True Love? Is there really just one person for me out there? Can the woman make the first move? How will I know if this man is really for me? Do You Have Questions Like These That Keep You Stuck In Life? This Course & Seminar Has The Answers Youve Been Looking For And Much More! In This Course, You Will Receive and Learn The Following: 1. Discern Gods Will for your state of life. 2. The 8 Powerful Steps on how you can attract your Lifetime Partner. 3. Discover the myths that have created havoc in your previous relationships. 4. Discern the internal blocks that have kept you stuck in your lovelife. 5. This includes weekly sessions in kits mailed directly to your home for three months. 6. This also includes an intense, dynamic, 1 Whole-Day Live Seminar taught personally by Bo Sanchez on September 2, 2006. Relationship Expert Bo Sanchez will answer your questions head-on. A fair warning: Taking this course will liberate you from all the wrong beliefs and behaviours that have prevented you from finding your One True Love. Your Investment: Full price for 3-Month Exclusive Course & Whole-Day Seminar is P9,000. But were offering the whole package at a special discounted price of P4,970 only.
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September 30, 2006 Saturday, 8:00AM 5:00PM Paseo de Roxas, Makati City Main Speaker LARRY GAMBOA Author, Think Rich, Pinoy! Host and Speaker BO SANCHEZ Author, Simplify and Create Abundance You will learn why Filipinos have remained poor You will learn the practical steps to financial freedom You will be exposed to mentors who can help you create passive income, the key to getting out of the rat race - or living from one payday to the next You will hear stories of ordinary people who have done it and how you can do it too You will learn by playing the game, Cashflow, invented by Robert Kiyoshi, author . . . Dad, Poor Dad
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Know the key ingredients for real success! Understand what prevents you from attaining Gods dream for your life. Allow God to bless every area of your life, especially areas where you are struggling Refresh your tired soul! Spend time with God in prayer and reflection. November 18 - 19, 2006 (Sat, 7am to Sun, 1pm) Tagaytay City Conference Fee: P3,000.00/ person(twin sharing accommodation)
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A Crisis of Faith in Catholic Universities

What kind of Catholics can we raise with misguided teachers?
here is today a creeping apostasy in our academic institutions. Nowhere is the malady more glaring than in Catholic universities that churn out predominantly lukewarm Christians who wont stand up for their faith. A case indicative of this cancer occurred at a wellknown Catholic campus in the US where a student desecrated the Crucifix to demonstrate freedom of expression, while a crowd simply looked on, mute and uncaring. When someone finally got mad and demanded an apology for the sacrilege, he turned out to be a Muslim. He was offended that Christ, a great prophet of Islam, was profaned. Catholic universities in the country are headed in that direction. Some theology and philosophy professors hold atheistic and lax moral views, contravening Church teachings and eroding the Faith with relativist notions. Yet they are tolerated under the guise of pursuing academic excellence because of their erudition despite a syncretistic Christianity that they inculcate into the curriculum. A dean at a wellknown school close to my heart lamented the Catholic character of the university as the impediment to being world-class. We have noted numerous
complaints from alarmed parents about their son or daughter who left the Church due to their professors. The disheartening fact in most cases is that the academe did nothing. Few students dare to stand up to these teachers; most either detached or discouraged simply keep quiet and cruise along fearful of antagonizing them. But I am proud of my son who stormed out of his Theology class when the teacher insulted the Church. With other parents and fellow alumni, we expressed our concerns to the university president. Our effort was all for naught as the problems were not addressed and the school seems more concerned with sports championships and actively indulging in rallies than rallying champions for Christ. An archrival university fares no better. A pious and well-respected priest from the order running that school confided, We are in trouble. He said this after his meeting with the faculty of Theology where all the professors unanimously espoused very disturbing liberal views on sexual morality. It was embarrassing for the priest who invited me, he said, adding, It was 12 against one, he being the sole defender for the teachings of the Church.
Parents have no idea of the magnitude of the problem that has gone on for many years. Catholic schools today produce poorly catechized graduates. Worse, these schools purvey a modernist outlook on morality that is at variance with Catholic teaching. A favorite present-day catchword is the Fundamental Option Theory, the idea that once you have cast your lot for Christ, nothing can ever go wrong and there is no such thing as intentional sin. Misfit instructors with rebellious streaks are often disgruntled ex-seminarians or ex-religious who harbor prejudices that they carry into the classrooms. In 1990, Pope John Paul the Great wrote Ex Corde Ecclessia the Apostolic Constitution on Catholic universities, which proposed principles and guidelines for securing and promoting the Catholic identity and mission in the institutions of learning. The school board would be well-advised to read this document then mull the words of Jesus: Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened round his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea (Matthew 18:6). K
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Bo Sanchez Catholic Lay Preacher and Best-Selling Author
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Arun Gogna
On Questions and Answers

Dont be afraid to ask.
ne weekend last year, I went home tired after giving a two-day retreat to a large group of people. I was so exhausted there was nothing on my mind during my drive home but the picture of our bed. When I got home, my wife ran to welcome me as she always does and, between hugs, pleaded with me to go to the mall. She wanted to go for the album launching of the concert king, Martin Nievera. I thought to myself, Well, why not, it will just be an hour then we can go back home and sleep. Plus, I like the voice of Martin too And so off to that faraway mall we went. There were hundreds of people. The setup was like a mini-concert and we were going to see it for free! Great. But there were no more seats. After standing for an hour during Martins performance, my wife bought the new album and asked that we line up for an autograph. I looked at my feet and they seemed to be shouting, Lets go home and rest! But then I looked at my wifes eyes and they told me, For better and for worse. I listened to the eyes. So we lined up for an hour and a half. When our turn came,
Lallaine asked Martin for the autograph and a picture. My wise self got the better of me and I prepared myself for this great meeting too. Coming up to Martin, I asked a question I had been dying to ask him for many years. I said, What is the secret of your voice? Like a bolt of lightning, he stood up and blurted out all his secrets. He generously gave me seven full minutes of his time. He even touched my tummy, pushed into my diaphragm, held my neck and made me stand straight just to emphasize his point. He told me what to avoid before concerts and gave me tips on taking care of my instrument, as he called it. I got valuable secrets that day from the man I admire just because I asked. Since then Ive been taking his advice. And I believe its been working. Right? Ehem, ehem. My wife, by the way, got what she liked too, a picture with her first love. Long time ago, I learned the powerful truth that you have actually nothing to lose and everything to gain by asking. Job, in the midst of his trials, asked God why those tragedies were happening to him. He even asked God if he had done something to offend Him. At first,
Job just accepted all that was happening to him. But eventually, he asked God the why questions. And that changed everything. God answered Job. In His wisdom, the Lord replied with questions also. Where were you when I founded the earth? Who determined its size? (Job 38:4,5). Because of these questions, Job realized that God was in control. That no situation escapes Him, and that His power can reach even the darkest pit. And so Job trusted Gods hand. He learned to trust because he started to ask. Because he asked, he understood. You alone know your situation today. Whatever area in your life needs recollection or evaluation, dont be afraid to ask. Ask yourself. Seek the answers. You might need to find the right person or people around you, to know the answers. Perhaps you need to ask God. Come before the Lord in prayer and ask. And when you ask from the heart, expect to find an answer. Ask and it will be given unto you. K
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Wholesome Eavesdropping
You never know what youll hear.
sit in a coffee shop taking advantage of a one-hour waiting period by catching up on my editing backlog. The restaurant is almost empty except for a couple in the far end of the room. I am in the zone tweaking lines deftly, replacing weak verbs with accurate ones and restructuring sentences for maximum impact. When I reach this kind of high in my work, I feel Gods pleasure upon me. Im functioning at my best using the prime gifts He has endowed me with. My productive mode is cut short when a couple sits at the couch behind me. Their yakking shatters my concentration so I pull out my headset and turn on some music. Unfortunately, my headset, which I use for chatting on the internet, has only one earphone. My right ear is left exposed to overhear their conversation. The business portion of their meeting is over and the interesting part of their conversation has begun. So what part of Korea are you from? the man asks. I didnt hear what the woman answers but the longer I listen I could sense some flirting going on. Maybe one day Ill visit you in Korea, the man baits the girl.
She giggles and gives a nonchalant reply. I drift back to my work and, before long, the couple stepped out of the restaurant. Ahhh peace at last. Before I could even resume my pace, another couple arrives and sits at the same table. They cling to each other like lint charged with static, whispering sweet nothings in between their intertwined embraces. How sweet they are, I think. Envy begins to creep in. But before I could wish the same for my relationship, I hear the woman say, So what did your wife say? And when will I see you again? Ngek! In an instant, the sugarcoated atmosphere melts into gooey, dark molasses and all the magic disappears. I get lost in my own thoughts and forget about the couple behind me. (OK, maybe I eavesdrop a little more.) Then in my heart, I start to thank God. I thank Him that while Im getting old and single still (grrrr!), I am free to love the person Ive chosen. And I thank Him that my life is boring and devoid of encumbrances like a former spouse. And I thank Him too that while I fear my problems will cause me to actually look my
age, theyre not as complex as what others have to grapple with. I left the coffee shop with a silent prayer for the couple and a grateful heart for what God has done in my life. So whats the lesson? Eavesdrop. I dont mean the offensive, stalking, chismosa kind, which by the way was punishable by law in ancient times. Eavesdrop on what is happening in other peoples lives so you can pray for them. Eavesdrop so you can be grateful for what Hes doing in your life. Better yet, eavesdrop on what God is saying about you. It might just make your day. K Thank God at all times. This is what God wants for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
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I thank Him that while I fear my problems will cause me to actually look my age, theyre not as complex as what others have to grapple with.
Dreaming of Being Catholic

How a dream led me to my life calling
By Ignacio Paulus Keiichi Robert Matsui
felt a slight tremor followed by a spark of light. It shone so bright I couldnt even look at it. It sparkled like fireworks. Then a woman spoke. I listened in awe as she slowly said, Save sick people. Go to the nearest Catholic church this coming Thursday and you will meet the person who will guide you to be a doctor. I obeyed and went to the church as I was told. There I saw a golden, oval-shaped medal then an image of a sigma, the 18th letter of the Greek alphabet. When I saw the image, I strongly felt it was an important sign to me. When I awoke from this dream, I resolved to do three things: to follow the Catholic faith, to be a doctor to help sick people and to be in the Philippines. Ive neither been to the Philippines nor have I ever been interested in Christianity before this dream I had on March 20, 2005. I came from a family with strong Buddhist and Shintoist traditions and was then working for a public relations firm. Although I had just returned from an assignment in Dhaka, Bangladesh and was barely a month home in Japan, I headed for the Philippines, certain that I would fulfill my calling there. I began to search the web for information about Christianity. Then I researched about being Catholic and read up on the Rosary, the Vatican and the Pope. On the web, I stumbled on Catholic bookstore site. I clicked on the online shopping page and found a gold, oval-shaped pendant that caught my attention. It was a miraculous medal of the Blessed Mother. On the backside of the medal was the letter M, which when rotated 90 degrees, becomes the Greek letter sigma. Suddenly, it dawned on me that maybe the voice I heard in my dream was the Virgin Marys. Immediately, I went to the bookstore and bought my precious medal. The next day, I watched a DVD of The Passion of the Christ with a sick friend I was keeping
company. We found it difficult to focus intently on the film, but what remained with me was the scene of Christs last moment before He died. By days end, my friend was better so I decided to go to church. Though I was not yet a Catholic, I was drawn to the church by an unexplainable desire within me. I was unaware it was Maundy Thursday. The moment I stepped into the church and saw all the faithful gathered, I experienced the way they loved and worshiped Jesus. I knew this was where I belonged. I was home. That was the very first Mass I attended. I felt an eagerness to hear the Scriptures being read. I was thirsty for the refreshing Water of Life. Ive read the Bible before but never had this profound, unexplainable experience. I was so carried away by my newfound faith that I lined up with the rest to receive Communion. I didnt know I had to be baptized first. The next day, I was scheduled to leave for Nagoya for work. But my friend suffered a relapse so I delayed my trip for another day. It was a welcome delay because it meant I could attend the Good Friday services. At Mass, I became even more at home in the church and my desire to become a Catholic increased. After my trip, I took up Catechism at a local church. I also consulted a Jesuit priest about my dream and asked if there were good medical schools in the Philippines. It was he who led me to Xavier University Ateneo de Cagayan. When I arrived in Cagayan de Oro in August 2005, I said to myself, This is the place for me to study medicine. Im now a student there and on my way to fulfilling Gods mission for me to help sick people. Last Easter, when the priest poured water on my head to baptize me into the Catholic faith, I felt my old self die and a new man emerge. My confirmation and first communion followed. And to think it all started as a dream. K
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point of Contact
bo sanchez
May your relationships deepen
pray that your friendships and family life be filled with love. I pray that you learn how to communicate deeply, heart to heart, with the most important people in your life not just once or twice, but consistently. I pray that you blossom in the art of loving. So place your hand over my hand, and lets pray with trust, together with our prayer team of intercessors praying for you right now This page is our Point of Contact, our spiritual connection. Say after me In the Name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Lord, I lift up to You all my relationships. I offer to You all my loved ones. Be with them in a special way today. Teach me how to open up my life to them so I can give You to them. And yes Lord, I open myself to all the blessings You want to give to me! Specifically, I ask You for the following miracles for my life I believe that You answer my prayer in the best way possible! And I thank You in advance for the perfect answers to my prayers. I also ask for the special intercession of Mama Mary. I pray all this in the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen!
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Are You A Workaholic? Take The Test: Former Bold Star Myra Manibog Bares It All How To Nourish Your Relationships

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Are You A Workaholic? Take The Test: Former Bold Star Myra Manibog Bares It All How To Nourish Your Relationships

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Inspiring You to Live A Fantastic Life

No. 194 Vol. 16

Grab a copy now! And find your one true Love.

Life Dreams & Success Journal

Do you have any suggestions so we can serve you more?

Manila, Philippines 1109 E-mail: subs@shepherdsvoice.com.ph

CONGRATULATIONS 1ST RAFFLE DRAW WINNERS!

What Have You Been Putting Up With?

Grow Closer to God by Receiving Bo Sanchez Soulfood Message FREE at www.bosanchez.ph

Gina Ferrer Bagong Ilog, Pasig City

Grow Closer to God by Receiving Bo Sanchez Soulfood Message FREE at www.bosanchez.ph

Lenie Viola Hong Kong

From the Shepherds Voice website forum (http://forum.shepherdsvoice.com.ph)

KERYGMA SEPTEMBER 2006

Grow Closer to God by Receiving Bo Sanchez Soulfood Message FREE at www.bosanchez.ph

Grow Closer to God by Receiving Bo Sanchez Soulfood Message FREE at www.bosanchez.ph

KERYGMA SEPTEMBER 2006

Grow Closer to God by Receiving Bo Sanchez Soulfood Message FREE at www.bosanchez.ph

SPECIAL SECTION TeaCHInG

tips for personal development

How to Manage Financial Crises

Multi-tasking for Good Health

KERYGMA SEPTEMBER 2006

Recovering from a Bad First Impression

Humor and Parenting: A Good Mix

Grow Closer to God by Receiving Bo Sanchez Soulfood Message FREE at www.bosanchez.ph

Evangelize the Easy Way

WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT: HEALING OR COMMUNION?

Grow Closer to God by Receiving Bo Sanchez Soulfood Message FREE at www.bosanchez.ph

Fr. Rudy Horst, SVD

MY SISTER IS AN ENTERTAINER IN JAPAN: ISNT THAT AN IMMORAL JOB?

KERYGMA SEPTEMBER 2006

Grow Closer to God by Receiving Bo Sanchez Soulfood Message FREE at www.bosanchez.ph

Is White Really Beautiful?

Grow Closer to God by Receiving Bo Sanchez Soulfood Message FREE at www.bosanchez.ph

KERYGMA SEPTEMBER 2006

And Now, A Cancer Vaccine for Kids

Looking for a Spouse? Try Japan

Grow Closer to God by Receiving Bo Sanchez Soulfood Message FREE at www.bosanchez.ph

THE OXYGEN OF LOVING RELATIONSHIPS

Grow Closer to God by Receiving Bo Sanchez Soulfood Message FREE at www.bosanchez.ph

1. BE OPEN (NO SECRETS!)

TRUE LOVE IS ACCEPTANCE

Grow Closer to God by Receiving Bo Sanchez Soulfood Message FREE at www.bosanchez.ph

KERYGMA SEPTEMBER 2006

JUST SAY IT CLEARLY AND DIRECTLY

Grow Closer to God by Receiving Bo Sanchez Soulfood Message FREE at www.bosanchez.ph

PLAY A GAME EVERY WEEK

KERYGMA SEPTEMBER 2006

BOS ACTION STEPS:

Grow Closer to God by Receiving Bo Sanchez Soulfood Message FREE at www.bosanchez.ph

Grow Closer to God by Receiving Bo Sanchez Soulfood Message FREE at www.bosanchez.ph

KERYGMA SEPTEMBER 2006

KERYGMA SEPTEMBER 2006

Grow Closer to God by Receiving Bo Sanchez Soulfood Message FREE at www.bosanchez.ph

for the LORD

CLOSELY GUARDED SECRET

KERYGMA SEPTEMBER 2006

lead or character role. Movie offers came one after another.

HITTING ROCK BOTTOM

Myra, looking mature at 12 years old, with friends

Grow Closer to God by Receiving Bo Sanchez Soulfood Message FREE at www.bosanchez.ph