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Edison A.


November 21, 2011 Mr. La rosa

1.) What are the phases of dating and courtship?

There are five distinct phases of courtship occurring as non-verbal communications that all people, no matter where they live or what culture they belong to, obey and follow in the attempt to create a pair bond. What follows is a short explanation of each of the five phases of courtship, with a link to more detailed information. Phase One of Courtship: Attracting Attention The first phase of courtship is letting others know that you are present and available through a variety of means such as posture, clothing, facial expressions, movement, and other related non-verbal communications. Similar to a peacock showing its feathers, this first stage of the courtship process is a complex come-hither dance that combines attention-getting behavior with still what Charles Darwin called 'submissive displays' - but most of us just call it flirting.

Phase Two of Courtship: Reading Body Language Once the first phase of the courtship process is complete, the next stage is to watch for positive body language from others in close proximity. In the most simple of terms, the second stage of courtship is like yelling, 'Help! in a crowded room and noticing who responds to your cry. This courtship phase is also focused entirely on non-verbal communication. Phase Three of Courtship: Verbal Communication Once the go-ahead has been given in phase two of courtship, verbal communication can occur. This stage still focuses heavily on non-verbal communications, as a simple 'Hello!' can mean a wide variety of things depending on the speakers' body movements and tone of voice. Unfortunately, because of the sheer terror many people feel when making contact with someone they are attracted to, the gross majority of men and women who are drawn to each other for reasons they cannot describe never make it past this courtship phase. By understanding the positive cues being given and received however, anyone can confidently make first contact with another knowing whether or not their interaction is welcome. Phase Four of Courtship: Physical Touch The fourth phase of courtship can begin innocently with an 'accidental' bumping of one's legs while sitting in close proximity. Depending on how the other person responds however, determines whether or not a couple can solidly move within and past this courtship phase. For instance, if you try and remove a piece of lint from someone you

are attracted to, do they move backwards and remove it themselves, or allow you to remove it and initiate physical contact? Phase Five of Courtship: Intimacy and Sex The last stage of courtship may follow for some couples, which includes even more nonverbal communication, such as cuddling, hand-holding, stroking, gazing, kissing and other affectionate movements. Even our voices change when intimate with another person, tapping into the vibrations in our inner ears and creating a whole new sense of closeness. Reference: The Five Phases of Courtship Non-Verbal Communication and Its Role in Dating By Bonny Albo, About.com Guide 2010, 9th edition 2.) Different forms of courtship in the Philippines?

TUKSUHAN The traditional dalagang Pilipina (Filipina maiden) is shy and secretive about her real feelings for a suitor and denies it even though she is really in love with the man. Tuksuhan lang (just teasing) is the usual term associated with pairing off potential couples in Filipino culture. This is common among teenagers and young adults. It is a way of matching people who may have mutual admiration or affection for each other. It may end up in a romance or avoidance of each other if the situation becomes embarrassing for both individuals. Tuksuhan (teasing--and a girl's reaction to it) is a means for 'feeling out' a woman's attitude about an admirer or suitor. If the denial is vehement and the girl starts avoiding the boy, then he gets the message that his desire to pursue her is hopeless. The advantage of this is that he does not get embarrassed because he has not started courting the girl in earnest. As in most Asian cultures, Filipinos avoid losing face. Basted (from English busted) is the Tagalog slang for someone who fails to reach 'first base' in courting a girl because she does not have any feelings for him to begin with. However, if the girl 'encourages' her suitor (either by being nice to him or not getting angry with the 'teasers'), then the man can court in earnest and the tuksuhan eventually ends. The courtship then has entered a 'serious' stage, and the romance begins.

A man who is unable to express his affection to a woman (who may have the same feelings for him) is called a torpe (stupid), dungo (extremely shy), or simply duwag(coward). To call a man torpe means he does not know how to court a girl, is playing innocent, or does not know she also has an affection for him. If a man is torpe, he needs a tulay (bridge)--anyone who is a mutual friend of him and the girl he loves--who then conveys to the girl his affection for her. It is also a way of 'testing the waters' so to speak. If the boy realizes that the girl does not have feelings for him, he will then not push through with the courtship, thus saving face. Some guys are afraid of their love being turned down by the girl. In Tagalog, a guy whose love has been turned down by the girl is called sawi (romantically sad), basted(busted), or simply labless (loveless). Click here for Tagalog romantic phrases used in Filipino courtship.

LIGAWAN: Panliligaw or ligawan are the Tagalog terms for courtship, which in some parts of the Tagalog-speaking regions is synonymous with pandidiga or digahan (from Spanish diga, 'to say, express'). Manliligaw is the one who courts a girl; nililigawan is the one who is being courted. In Philippine culture, courtship is far more subdued and indirect unlike in some Western societies. A man who is interested in courting a woman has to be discreet and friendly at first, in order not to be seen as too presko or mayabang (aggressive or too presumptuous). Friendly dates are often the starting point, often with a group of other friends. Later, couples may go out on their own, but this is still to be done discreetly. If the couple has decided to come out in the open about their romance, they will tell their family and friends as well. In the Philippines, if a man wants to be taken seriously by a woman, he has to visit the latter's family and introduce himself formally to the parents of the girl. It is rather inappropriate to court a woman and formalize the relationship without informing the parents of the girl. It is always expected that the guy must show his face to the girl's family. And if a guy wants to be acceptable to the girl's family, he has to give pasalubong (gifts) every time he drops by her family's house. It is said that in the Philippines, courting a Filipina means courting her family as well. In courting a Filipina, the metaphor often used is that of playing baseball. The man is said to reach 'first base' if the girl accepts his proposal to go out on a date for the first time. Thereafter, going out on several dates is like reaching the second and third bases. A 'home-run' is one where the girl formally accepts the man's love, and they becomemagkasintahan (from sinta, love), a term for boyfriend-girlfriend.

During the old times and in the rural areas of the Philippines, Filipino men would make harana (serenade) the women at night and sing songs of love and affection. This is basically a Spanish influence. The man is usually accompanied by his close friends who provide moral support for the guy, apart from singing with him. Filipino women are expected to be pakipot (playing hard to get) because it is seen as an appropriate behavior in a courtship dance. By being pakipot, the girl tells the man that he has to work hard to win her love. It is also one way by which the Filipina will be able to measure the sincerity of her admirer. Some courtships could last years before the woman accepts the man's love. A traditional dalagang Pilipina (Filipinpa maiden) is someone who is mahinhin (modest, shy, with good upbringing, well-mannered) and does not show her admirer that she is also in love with him immediately. She is also not supposed to go out on a date with several men. The opposite of mahinhin is malandi (flirt), which is taboo in Filipino culture as far as courtship is concerned. After a long courtship, if the couple later decide to get married, there is the Filipino tradition of pamamanhikan (from panik, to go up the stairs of the house), where the man and his parents visit the woman's family and ask for her parents blessings to marry their daughter. It is also an occasion for the parents of the woman to get to know the parents of the man. During pamamanhikan, the man and his parents bring some pasalubong (gifts). It is also at this time that the wedding date is formally set, and the couple become engaged to get married. TAMPUHAN

The Tagalog term tampo has no English equivalent. Magtampo is usually translated as 'to sulk', but it does not quite mean that. 'Sulk' seems to have a negative meaning which is not expressed in magtampo. It is a way of withdrawing, of expressing hurt feelings in a culture where outright expression of anger is discouraged. For example, if a child who feels hurt or neglected may show tampo by withdrawing from the group, refusing to eat, and resisting expressions of affection such as touching or kissing by the members of the family. A woman may also show tampo if she feels jealous or neglected by her beloved. Tampuhan is basically a lovers' quarrel, often manifested in total silent treatment or not speaking to each other. The person who is nagtatampo expects to be aamuin or cajoled out of the feeling of being unhappy or left out. Parents usually let a child give way to tampo before he/she is cajoled to stop feeling hurt.

Usually, tampo in Filipino culture is manifested in non-verbal ways, such as not talking to other people, keeping to one's self, being unusually quiet, not joining friends in group activities, not joining family outing, or simply locking one's self in his or her room. Reference: Alegre, Edilberto. Tuksuhan, Ligawan: Courtship in Philippine Culture, Tagalog Love Words (An Essay), Our loving ways, seasite.niu.edu

3.) What is the trend in modern courtship and dating?

Since the mid 2000s, mate-finding and courtship have seen changes due to online dating services. Telecommunications and computer technologies have developed rapidly since around 1995, allowing daters the use of home telephones with answering machines, mobile phones, and web-based systems to find prospective partners. "Pre-dates" can take place by telephone or online via instant messaging, e-mail, or even video communication. A disadvantage is that, with no initial personal interview by a traditional dating agency head, Internet daters are free to exaggerate or lie about their characteristics. While the growing popularity of the Internet took some time, now one in five singles is said to look for love on the Web, which has led to a dramatic shift in dating patterns. Research in the United Kingdom suggests that as of 2004 there were around 150 agencies there, and the market was growing at around 20 percent a year due to, first, the very low entry barriers to setting up a dating site, and secondly, the rising number of single people. However, even academic researchers find it impossible to find precise figures about crucial statistics, such as the ratio of active daters to the large number of inactive members whom the agency will often wrongly claim as potential partners, and the overall ratio of men to women in an agency's membership. Academic research on traditional pre-Internet agencies suggests that most agencies have far more men than women in their membership. Traditionally, in many societies (including Western societies), men are expected to fill the role of the pursuer. However, the anonymity of the Internet (as well as other factors) has allowed women to take on that role online. A recent study indicated that "women pay to contact men as often as the reverse, which is quite different from behavior in telephone-based dating system[s]" (from Wiredmagazine).

Dating companies teaching men how to pursue women has increased over the years. Based on a foundation of pickup artist skills, companies such as Love Systems, Double Your Dating, and Pickup 101 have become popular due to increasing demand for men on knowing how to get a girl. The companies teach skills on going from scratch to starting a courtship with a woman. The trend of singles making a Web connection continues to increase, as the percentage of North American singles who have tried Internet dating has grown from two percent in 1999 to over ten percent today (from Canadian Business, February 2002). More than half of online consumers (53%) know someone who has started a friendship or relationship online, and three-quarters of 18-to-24-year-old online consumers (74%) say they do. There is also some academic evidence that the 1825 age group has significantly taken up online dating. This growing trend is reflected in the surging popularity of online communities such asFaceparty, Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, and Nexopia sites which are not directly geared toward dating, but many users nonetheless use to find potential dates or research a new acquaintance to check for availability and compatibility. Mobile dating websites, too, are gaining popularity. References: Hooking Up, Hanging Out, and Hoping for Mr. Right: College Women on Dating and Mating Today (Retrieved 18:35, 12 January 2007)

4.) What are the different forms of living arrangements and marriage of couple? One of the more significant social changes to occur in the last decades of the twentieth century was a shift away from the "traditional" family structurea married couple with their own child or children living in the home. The U.S. Census Bureau divides households into two major categories: family households (defined as groups of two or more people living together related by birth, marriage, or adoption) and nonfamily households (consisting of a person living alone or an individual living with others to whom he or she is not related). As a percentage of all households, family households declined over the period 1950 to 2000. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 1950 family households accounted for 89.4% of all households. By 2000 that figure had dropped to 68.1%. The rise in nonfamily households is the result of many factors, some of the most prominent being:
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People are postponing marriage until later in life and are thus living alone or with nonrelatives for a longer period of time. A rising divorce rate translates into more people living alone or with nonrelatives.

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A rise in the number of people who cohabit before or instead of marriage results in higher numbers of non-family households. The oldest members of our population are living longer and often live in nonfamily households as widows/widowers or in institutional settings.

Although family households were a smaller proportion of all households in 2000 than in 1950, they were still the majority of households. The Census Bureau breaks family households into three categories: (1) married couples with their own children, (2) married couples without children, and (3) other family households. The last category includes single-parent households and households made up of relatives (such as siblings) who live together or grandparents who live with grandchildren without members of the middle generation being present. Of the three categories, the "other family household" grew the most between 1970 and 2000, growing from 10.6% of all households in 1970 to 16% in 2000. The "traditional" family household experienced the greatest decline during the period. Married couples with their own children made up 40.3% of households in 1970 but only 24.1% in 2000. (See Figure 2.1.) One- and Two-Parent Families Among all families with children, two-parent families accounted for 87.2% of families in 1970 and 68.3% in 2002. (See Table 2.1.) Overall, most households with children are still headed by married couples. But the decline in the percentage of children being raised in two-parent households has been the subject of much study and attention. In 2002 31.7% of families with children were maintained by just one parent, compared to 12.8% in 1970. (See Table 2.1.) In 2002 mothers were single parents 4.5 times as often as fathers. In 1970 that figure was 8.7 times as often; in 1970 there were very few single-father families. During that thirty-two-year period, the number of single-father families increased more than fivefold while single-mother households increased 2.9 times. Reference: 20th edition Family and Living Arrangements - Fewer "traditional" Families Households, Children, Women, and Parent,

2008. http://www.libraryindex.com/pages/1626/Family-Living-Arrangements-FEWERTRADITIONAL-FAMILIES.html#ixzz1eILrz0Sl

5.) Importance of dating and starting a family?

Dating in a relationship is important because it allows you to get to know the person you are in a relationship with, while having a good time. Dating helps to reveal any potential problems you may have if pursuing a more serious relationship with a person, and it sets the foundation for marriage

Learning About Your Date


Whether you go out for coffee or to dinner, the experience of a date allows you to become familiar with the object of your affections by witnessing their actions and reactions to you in a public setting. For example, if you are dinning at a restaurant and you notice how kind and polite your date is to the server, they have demonstrating their good manners. However, if your date is unnecessarily rude to the server, he or she might have anger management issues. While learning about your significant other through dating, beware of the behaviors and personality qualities that matter most to you. Etiquette for Dating

It is also important to keep dating etiquette in mind when building a relationship. First, always be polite and considerate to your date. If, for example, he or she is allergic to cigarette smoke, do not take them to a smoke-filled bar. Second, you should spend dates doing things which you will both enjoy, and hopefully be able to learn about one another in the process. Third, during conversation, encourage your date to share details about their life and ask friendly questions. Do not take date time as an opportunity to focus on only yourself, but also be careful not to make your date feel like they are being interrogated. Dating and a Healthy Relationship

Kate Havelin, author of Dating: "What Is a Healthy Relationship?", suggests that taking your time to get to know one another while dating is an important aspect of forming a healthy relationship. "You may want to become closer to the person you are dating. You may want to spend all your time with that special person. You may want to have sex with that person. However, two people rarely share the same feelings about how fast a relationship should grow."




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eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_6621714_importance-datingrelationships.html#ixzz1eIJb78cE

6.) What are the functions of family?

The Function of Families The primary function of the family is to reproduce society, both biologically, through procreation, and socially, through socialization. Given these functions, one's experience of one's family shifts over time. From the perspective of children, the family is a family of orientation: the family functions to locate children socially, and plays a major role in their socialization. From the point of view of the parent(s), the family is a family of procreation: the family functions to produce and socialize children. In some cultures marriage imposes upon women the obligation to bear children. In northern Ghana, for example, payment of bridewealth signifies a woman's requirement to bear children, and women using birth control face substantial threats of physical abuse and reprisals. Producing offspring is not the only function of the family. Marriage sometimes establishes the legal father of a woman's child; establishes the legal mother of a man's child; gives the husband or his family control over the wife's sexual services, labor, and/or property; gives the wife or her family control over the husband's sexual services, labor, and/or property; establishes a joint fund of property for the benefit of children; establishes a relationship between the families of the husband and wife. No society does all of these; no one of these is universal. In societies with a sexual division of labor, marriage, and the resulting relationship between a husband and wife, is necessary for the formation of an economically productive household. In modern societies marriage entails particular rights and privilege that encourage the formation of new families even when there is no intention of having children. Reference: Roberts, S. (2006). Its Official: To Be Married Means to Be Outnumbered. The New York Times. Retrieved October 15, 2006,

from http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/15/us/15census.html