Script one Malaysian Drivers A very good morning we bid to the Honorable judges, ladies and gentlemen Let

us entertain you with our Wierd, yet hillarious tales About Malaysians

Idiosyncrasies of Malaysians Huh? What's that? Little personal behaviors or nature Peculiar to Malaysians Funny but it's true That these observations we make Can be about you Malaysians by large ooze charm and care Sensitive and mature We compromise And we share But why is it Malaysians, when behind the wheels Mutate into monsters! Rude ... Selfish ... Dangerous ... Racing taxis, noisy cars Rushing here, rushing there Rushing here and everywhere! Immature road bullies Who smash windscreens and bones While hooting honking drivers Impatiently groan BEEP! BEEP! Eh! I signaled what! Signal your own side lah! My car my space what! Oh, dear! Is this KL? Look at how they speak! Sshhhhh !!!!! No wonder, KL is the third rudest city in the world We have drivers Who turn highways into Formula One track Hey, guys! I am better than Michael Shumacher!

Fleeting motorcyclist Who zig zag their way to death Vroom ~ ~ Vroom ~ ~ Motorists suddenly slow down Necks outstretch Eyes affixed ACCIDENT ~ ~ ACCIDENT ~ ~ Eh, somebody call the ambulance! Wah, accident ah? Eh, go buy toto and magnum! 5 big 5 small, 9394 ar ... We ask ourselves, whatever for? Just to note the number plate for a digit win Public toilets Can't live with them Yucks! Can't live without them I think I'm gonna poop! Mummy, mummy! Do you want me to sit or stand on the toilet seat? No, no, darling! At home you seat, outside you stand! Malaysians are somewhat unclear About what goes into where A peep into public toilets AAHHHHH!!!! Confirms your worst nightmare Malaysians We just love to eat Uummm ... We munch and crunch Chomp and chew Through a feast of foood Check out the delicacies! We have The spiciest The sweetest Most sour And most bitter of food Nasi lemak Chappati Sizzling steak Char kuey teow Roti canai Satay

High teas ang buffet galores Bring kiasus to the fore Piling their plates with soooo much food Still they come for more For more And more And more! Just to get their money's worth The results From size S to XXL XXL to ... You get the point? Obesity Diabetes Heart diseaees (doopdoop ~ ~ doopdoop ~ ~ tooooot ~~~~) But then Every we look we see Diet pills Surgeries It doesn't make sense Why don't we just exercise? There's a time in the year Where Malaysians behave a little queer Yesss! The sales are here! Megasales up to 30, 50, 70 percent of discounts (~ Gasp ~) Buy 2 get 1 free! Shop 'til you drop! Run out of money? Not to worry! We have American Express Visa Card Master card One for every occasion! Spend, spend, spend Bills, bills, bills Enjoy now Regret later Malaysians have a complex that Much is more Bigger is better

Taller is terrific! Thus, we have The tallest Twin Towers The longest canopy walking The largest cooking contest The biggest mooncake (~ Gasp ~) Wait! Not forgetting the number of trees planted A hundred thousand trees a minute See, we have them all If we can't make it To the Guiness Book of Records The Malaysian Book of Records will do, thank you! Having heard our view Won't you say Malaysians are Peculiar in their nature and behavior? However These idiosyncrasies For better or worse In sickness and in health Oi, no marriage ceremony lah! Oops! Mark us as Malaysians As we stamp our identity That makes us Malaysians Malaysian!