Final Report to the Members of the Conflict Mediation Steering Committee as of April 30, 2010

Wieuca Road Baptist Church, Atlanta, GA

June 21, 2010 Presented by

George Bullard
Early in May 2010 a group of members of the Wieuca Road Baptist Church took actions that sought to manage the ongoing conflict by use of an intensity five lose/leave set of actions. These actions ended a 13-month process that sought to deal with the existing conflict from an intensity four perspective that still would involve a win/lose situation. However, it presented the possibility that lay and staff as a leadership community could be successful in de-escalating the conflict to an intensity lower than intensity four. From the beginning of this 13-month process it was clear that half the active congregation felt they were in an intensity five situation and half felt they were in an intensity four situation. An extremely crucial difference exists between intensity four and intensity five conflict. At intensity four the good of the church is more important than a personal or an affinity groups perspective on the church winning. At intensity five winning from a personal or an affinity groups perspective is more important than the good of the church. Winning at intensity five is actually losing. Intensity five is a lose/leave situation. People or groups who win the intensity five encountersuch as a vote of confidence on a senior pastoractually are the losers. No one wins. It is way too painful for anyone to feel that they won. People who lose the intensity five encounter often become leavers. They separate themselves from the congregation. That has obviously happened at Wieuca. So, whats next? This final report is intended to review various elements of the 13-month process to document the process for Wieuca from the perspective of George Bullard as the Strategic Leadership Coach. Such documentation may be helpful as the remaining congregation seeks to build a new future. It may also be informative to people who have left the congregation. The key parts of this report are, Review of the Assessment which was conducted during April and May 2009. Review of the Recommendations which were presented to the congregation in June 2009. Review of the Work of the Conflict Mediation Process July 2009 through April 2010. Review of Season Three Actions engaged in during March and April 2010. Material on Leaving, Staying, and Becoming Well following an intensity five conflict.

At the end of this summary are several recommendations for the remaining congregation to consider as they seek to move forward. This report is presented to the people who were active on the Conflict Mediation Steering Committee [CMSC] as of April 30, 2010.

Review of the Assessment Conducted in the Spring of 2009

The assessment findings were simple, straightforward, and obvious. The assessment findings came from the written feedback of the various presentations to the congregation, individual conversations with the staff and the original steering committee, the focus group interviews, and the analysis of these by George Bullard. The report of the assessment findings intentionally focused on only a few findings to help Wieuca discern, discover, and develop a way forward. To over complicate the presentation of the findings would over complicate the process for mediating the conflict.

Finding One
Wieuca is in the Retirement stage of the congregational life cycle where Management is fueling the journey of the congregation, programs are flavoring the journey, and vision and relationships are underdeveloped and/or dysfunctional Retirement is the third stage along the Aging side of the life cycle. Wieuca may have been on the aging side of the life cycle for the past 25 or more years. This presents serious challenges to the future vitality and vibrancy of the congregation. The existence of this type of situation is often the generator of conflict in congregations. When Management has been fueling the journey of the congregation for this long, major issues often exist around decision-making processes, governance, staff, finances, and facilities. Such is the case with Wieuca. Issues exist in all of these areas. The felt need to focus on these issues and the size of the challenge around these issues are draining the resources and emotions of the congregation and damaging its spirituality. When Programs have been flavoring the journey of the congregation for this long people often believe that pressing hard on the few and diminishing number of exceptional programs in the life of the congregation is essential to congregational vitality. Thus the feeling by many that the music program of Wieuca has held the church together for many years and through many transitions. Is it possible that the opposite can also be true regarding the music program? In the Retirement stage the formula for moving forward is to [1] Diminish the controlling aspects of Management, [2] Renew Relationships with God, one another and the context we serve, [3] Reconceptualize the Programs, ministries and activities, and finally [4] Cast new Vision. This is a multiple year process. While this approach may seem counterintuitive, it is the approach that can empower a congregation to spiral forward to a new partial life cycle. The first positive steps forward to renew a congregation in the Retirement stages focuses around Relationships. Relationships of multiple types are wounded around Wieuca. People are wounded, angry, and depressed. Any movement forward must begin with renewing Relationships. Supporting Comments as of February 15, 2010: Wieuca shows no evidence of an empowering vision it is seeking to fulfill. While the senior pastor can show evidence that he intentionally cast a new vision, it was not accepted and owned by the congregation. The congregation is in a confused and competitive state and unwilling to accept any vision that does not fit personal or affinity group paradigms of the future of the church. Wieuca is thus a One Generation Congregation. This is a congregation that is founded with a vision for the unique mission to which God has called it. It plays out this vision for its first generation of lifeapproximately 22 to 27 yearsand when this founding vision wanes it never learns how to hear the voice of God about a new vision again. Instead it listens to the confusing and competing voices of humankind, with the loudest and most controlling voices prevailing. It moves from fix-to-fix without a new solution because it wants to restore the glory years of the founding vision rather than hear a new vision from God. It assumes the new vision must come 2

from the pastor. They are wrong. It must come from God. Wieuca is a perfect example of the One Generation Congregation. These congregations may exist for up to 80 years and then they die. Retirement Stage congregations often believe the solution to their situation lies in having a pastor strong enough to cast a new vision the congregation will unite around. This is not true. This simply leads from one fix to another fix trying to find the right pastor with the right vision based on the preconceived idea of various individuals and affinity groups as to what that vision looks like. Bill Self, Jim King, the intentional interim, and Michael Tutterow have not been able to meet the expectations of some individuals and affinity groups for a pastoral vision rather than a spiritual vision.

Finding Two
Wieuca is experiencing Intensity Four conflict and may move to Intensity Five. Some doubt exists as to whether the good of the congregation is foremost in peoples minds, or if winning in the midst of the current conflict is foremost. Additional doubt exists as to whether the conflict can be mediated in a manner that allows all staff and lay leaders to stay in place, or if some staff and lay leaders must be removed before successful management of the current conflict can take place. At Intensity Four conflict Perceived Truthful Information has become more powerful than the truth. People believe they know the truth whether or not facts exist to support their perception. Part of what has led to this is the significant diminishing of trust that began to occur at Intensity Three. Sufficient culturally accepted grounds rules for Christ-like conduct do not exist in Wieuca. Conflict at Intensity Four becomes a general cause that often lacks the ability to identify Consensus Issue Statements. At Intensity Five the congregation will terminate one or more staff persons and potentially engage in a formal split into two or more congregations. To a degree an internal split already exists around issues such as worship services, times, and styles. From the feedback forms completed in April when George Bullard presented The Intensities of Congregation Conflict it can be observed that people who believe the congregation is at Intensity Five conflict tended to identify specific issues about which they are angry. Many people appear to be saying the congregation needs to reprioritize around meeting their specific needs rather than the needs of all. Examples are worship times and style, specific staff persons, trigger events such as the February 15, 2009 church-in-conference, and the need to restore the past glory of the congregation. Persons who believe the congregation is at Intensity Four conflict tended to identify more global issues about the congregation such as vision and congregational identity, overall staff relationships, and the need to affirm the past, present, and future of the congregation. Supporting Comments as of February 15, 2010: Wieuca still has individuals and groups in 2010 who believe the solution for the current conflict is an intensity five event or events where the congregation continues to terminate staffparticularly the senior pastor. Some individuals actually have engaged in intensity six actions which says more about their own dysfunction than what is going on with the congregation. Some of the CMSC still believe the solution is in the pastor leaving. This was their belief a year ago, and they have not been deterred from this belief. I do not see staff leadership seeking to engage in intensity five actions. I do see laypersons engaging in intensity five actions. A continuing issue is the belief that leadership alone is the problem, rather than both leadership and followership. Both must be healthy and not one or the other. And, both have to happen simultaneously. There is no you go first. As long as individuals and groups are enabled to work at intensity five the long-term conflicts will not be mediated or resolved. The CMSC appears to be enabling of intensity five actions. 3

Finding Three Wieuca has three types of issues

1. Trigger Issues focus around symptoms of conflict. The recent budget cuts, staff downsizing, and how these were handled were the three dominant trigger issues. Certainly February 15, 2009 and the days that have followed have been days of incredible pain and loss for many people from various perspectives. Perhaps the only good news out of this day is that we are here today finally addressing issues of great significance. 2. Perceived Problem Issues people want to have fixed. Among the perceived problem issues people want to have fixed are the worship services, the Sunday morning schedule, the pastor and other staff persons, the music program sub-culture in the congregation, the lack of growth, the lack of adequate finances, and restoration of past successes. Many people are both angry and scared concerning these issues. 3. Root Cause Issues that require a solution. The failure of Wieuca to realize it was at the end of its first generation of life and on the aging side of the life cycle by around the early 1980s represents the occasion for the root cause. Wieuca has probably not had a passionately felt and deeply owned fresh vision that captivated the spiritual imagination of the congregation since that time. Its identity within the Buckhead context is unclear. The figurative mantle of leadership among Baptists and perhaps even Protestant congregations in the general Buckhead area was lost several decades ago and the congregation has not been able to recover it. Several short-term fixes have been tried like calling a pastor to lead the restoration of past glory, and starting a new worship service to reach younger adults and families. The congregation has become increasingly angry as various efforts have failed. It is perceived that some of the efforts have taken the congregation backwards or at least away from its legacy image. It is perceived Wieuca has experienced similar situations to its current situation during its history as a congregation. It is also perceived that on previous occasions Trigger Issues and Perceived Problem Issues have been addressed, but Root Cause Issues have not been successfully addressed. Therefore, the congregation is perceived to be a repeat offender in terms of periodically experiencing unhealthy intensities of conflict. Supporting Comments as of February 15, 2010: The most important key to a solution is to be captivated by Gods vision for the congregation and to engage in a Spiritual Strategic Journey that is seeking to live into that vision. The greatest barrier to this is the unwillingness to let go of who Wieuca was and embrace what Wieuca can become for the next generation of its life. The negative or inadequate acts of individuals and affinity groups are either because there is no vision, or because of personal, professional, or community dysfunctional attitudes and actions they bring into the conversation at and about Wieuca.

Finding Four
Trust is wounded at Wieuca. Trust is wounded within the congregation among and between various participants, leaders, and leadership groups. Trust is wounded between the congregation and staff. Trust is wounded within the staff. Trust must be given, not demanded or withheld. Respect must be initiated, not received. However, in many places and among some people within the congregation the opposite it true. People have expressed the willingness to end relationships with people who have been their friends for decades because they do not trust them any more.

Supporting Comments as of February 15, 2010: Trust is still wounded within Wieuca, but may be increasing within the CMSC and the staff. New trust can be built upon for a new future of relationships.

Finding Five
Wieuca is composed of too many generations with too many perspectives on exactly how they feel the congregation should operate, and what benefits they expect to receive from the congregation. Three Time Warps appear obvious in the congregation. There is the founding Time Warp of 1955. The heyday Time Warp is 1985. The future Time Warp is 2015. The passion around the traditional or sanctuary worship service partially exhibits the 1955 and 1985 Time Warps. ReChurch seems to exemplify the 2015 Time Warp. At least five birth generations are represented within the life and ministry of Wieuca. When congregations have three birth generations they can have primary agreement on many issues and a single style of worship, discipleship, fellowship, and missional involvement that fits most everyone. Four birth generations places a strain on the single style approach. Five birth generations require multiple styles of worship, discipleship, fellowship, and missional involvement or the older or younger generations will leave the congregation. Often people at either end of a five generation congregation cannot see with their heart or understand with their head the perspective of people at the other end of the generation continuum. Thus, the distance between the traditional or sanctuary worship and ReChurch is too great of a distance. Without the development of understanding across the generations and worship styles Wieuca will split or groups of people will leave. A new standard that leaving is not a loving choice needs to be developed. Today is our reference point for the intergenerational, inter-tenure, and inter-service diversity of Wieuca. We cannot go back. Supporting Comments as of February 15, 2010: Congregations with no more than three birth generations are generally able to maintain a positive sense of unity. Congregations with four or more birth generations significantly present within the congregation have competition over whose unity is the best unity for the congregation. Congregations with five or more birth generations significantly present within the congregation have ongoing conflict over whose unity is the best unity for the congregation, and will often have open conflict or people leaving because they do not feel or like the unity [or lack thereof] that exists. Wieuca has five or more birth generations significantly present within the congregation.

Review of the Recommendations Presented in June 2009

Recommendations For the Forward Movement of Wieuca Recommendation One: Wieuca should take the next year to engage in Three Seasons of Resolution as a way forward for the congregation. Season One is the Season of Healing and Reconciliation from August 1November 30, 2009. Season Two is the Season of Setting New Patterns from December 1, 2009March 31, 2010. Season Three is the Season of Setting New Directions from April 1July 31, 2010. Supporting Comments as of June 15, 2010: At least one year is required to engage the dept of conflict at Wieuca. Sufficient delayed gratification did not exist to allow the process to work through its three seasons. Recommendation Two: Wieuca should affirm the members of the Conflict Mediation Steering Committee who choose to go forward as members of this leadership community. Their task is to coordinate the Three Seasons of Resolution and to be clear and obvious examples of these seasons.

Supporting Comments as of June 15, 2010: CMSC members were initially chosen by the participants in the focus group interviews during the Spring of 2009. Various criteria were used to analyze the data received from focus group members to arrive at a recommendation as to the members of the CMSC. This conflict mediation process was based on the fact that if these almost 40 people could not get their act together with one another about the future of Wieuca, then it would be impossible for the congregation to get their act together about a common future. The CMSC was unable to get their act together with one another after nine months of effort. Recommendation Three: Season of Healing and Reconciliation from August 1November 30, 2009. The primary action of this season is to engage as many people in the congregation as possible in Dialogue and Prayer Triplets that gather ten times over a period of 100 days using a manual provided by The Columbia Partnership as their guide. The members of the Steering Committee will use their dialogue and prayer triplet, in addition, as a support and accountability group for them. The goal is to have 250 adults and senior high youth involved in triplets. Supporting Comments as of June 15, 2010: This season was focused on building new and/or deeper relationships within congregation. Only 190 people participated. The goal was missed. The hoped for positive impact was inadequate. Recommendation Four: Season of Setting New Patterns from December 1, 2009March 31, 2010. The primary actions of this season revolve around dialogue and appropriate decisions around areas such as [1] worship schedule, [2] coordination of congregation life and ministry particularly through more effective communication, [3] staffing, [4] creating deep friendships, [5] governance, [6] finances, and [7] facilities. Appropriate official groups and ad hoc groups should address these issues. Short-term to mid-range decisions should be made during this season. Supporting Comments as of June 15, 2010: CMSC and various ad hoc and formal groups within the congregation worked hard and faithfully on some of these issues. Ultimately the ad hoc groups working on the two most crucial presenting issuesworship and governancewere unable to complete their task, which included making appropriate recommendations to the congregation. Recommendation Five: Season of Setting New Directions from April 1July 31, 2010. The primary focus of this season is to launch a process for crafting the future story of Wieuca that represents a sense of discernment of the next spiral of the life cycle of the congregation which reflects the current understanding by the congregation of Gods spiritual strategic direction for it. It will ultimately seek to project what Wieucas life and ministry might be like in the year 2020 if it with faithfulness, effectiveness, and innovation lives into Gods call upon it as a congregation. Supporting Comments as of June 15, 2010: CMSC had just started working on this season when the vote of confidence was brought to the congregation for vote. Thus, this work remains incomplete. Whether or not there was enough common energy to complete this season is unknown. Early actions showed some degree on consensus about future direction, but perhaps not enough. Recommendation Six: Emerging out of the Season of Setting New Patterns should be an effort during 2010 to reconceptualize the staffing pattern of Wieuca. Does Wieuca have the right number of staff? Does Wieuca have the right staff positions? Does Wieuca need a different type of staff role that provides more overall coordination of the work of the staff? Supporting Comments as of June 15, 2010: While the Personnel Committee has worked diligently on its tasks, it has needed to focus primarily on what to do with the leaving of various staff persons and was not able to get to a place where it could work on these issues proactively. Recommendation Seven: Emerging out of the Season of Setting New Patterns should be an effort during 2010 to reconceptualize stewardship within the congregation by a comprehensive focus on 6

generosity. Wieuca needs to consider various approaches to financial discipleship. It also needs to look at developing multiple funding streams for the long-term benefit of the congregation. Supporting Comments as of June 15, 2010: Finance and Stewardship have certainly had their challenges during this time. Both have worked to figure out how to move forward, but again had to primarily focus on managing loses rather than creating new pathways. Recommendation Eight: Emerging out of the Season of Setting New Patterns should be an effort during 2010 to reconceptualize a long-term facilities use and integrity plan. The obligations Wieuca has established for itself over several decades for the use and integrity of its buildings is like a slow moving glacier that could overtake the entire life and ministry of the congregation. Supporting Comments as of June 15, 2010: As far as I know nothing exceptional was happening in this area. This has now become a crucial survival issue for Wieuca as the second sentence in the above recommendation implies. Recommendation Nine: Emerging out of the Season of Setting New Patterns should be an effort during 2010 to reconceptualize what relationship and community looks like among the ministerial, support, and service staff of Wieuca. Staff unity is essential as an element of leadership of the life of a congregation. Staff unity should not only provide leadership for the congregation, but it should encourage followership among the laity. The most significant issue surrounding leadership in Wieuca may be followership. This effort within the current staff will require an outside third party who can coach the senior pastor and staff through this process. George Bullard will be prepared during July to recommend three persons from the greater Atlanta area who would be candidates for this coach for the pastor and staff. Supporting Comments as of June 15, 2010: This recommendation was pursued. The services of Suzanne Goebel of Woodstock, GA were secured to act as a coach for the staff. The assumption was that neither the church nor this process would assume that any staff had to leave. If they left it would be out of their own need, desire, and/or calling forward. As a symbol of needed unity within the congregation, it was very important for this staff process to work. One staff person had already announced that she was leaving as this process began. Three other staff persons who were perceived to be at different levels of non-cooperation with the staff coach process were all gone from the church by the end of January 2010. The staff remaining after that time had all cooperated with the process. In February the staff coach work was refocused to work primarily with the senior pastor. Recommendation Ten: Wieuca should retain the services of The Columbia Partnership to provide strategic leadership coaching throughout the Three Seasons of Resolution. George Bullard would provide these services. This engagement would be for nine to twelve months depending on how long the Conflict Mediation Steering Committees feels the need for Georges assistance. They services would begin on August 1, 2009 at a cost of $1,500 per month. Supporting Comments as of June 15, 2010: These services were retained, but were concluded when the CMSC stopped meeting after the second week of May 2010. Only this final report has been part of the process since that time.

Review of the Work and Progress of the Conflict Mediation Steering Committee
[Prepared Around January 10, 2010] Wieuca began this mediation process with divisions that were deep enough that you could not make decisions about your future without a doing so from a win/lose perspective that would involve a loss of significant and probably immediate spiritual, emotional, participation, and financial resources for the congregation. 7

If the CMSC is any indication, this season has met with only limited success. Wieuca appears to be significantly insulated from healing and reconciliation efforts; having attempted them before. You favor positional fixes rather than principled solutions. You favor fixes that affirm a past that was successful rather than a future that is significant. I perceive the dialogue and prayer triplets had limited success. From a participation perspective, the goal was to have 250 people involved, but we only had at our height 190 people. Perhaps even some of the CMSC members went through the motions of this process without deep commitment to their potential. However, each of you would have to answer for yourselves. Wieuca is suffering from the Wallenda Syndrome. The Wallenda Syndrome refers to the high wire walking Wallenda family whose patriarch fell from the wire to his death when he focused on the fear of falling rather than the joy of walking the wire. For Wieuca this is the fear of failing rather than the joy of walking with the triune God. It is characterized by the statement, if we dont do something . . .. The Conflict Mediation Steering Committee has functioned reasonably well. In baseball terminology it is a th ground rule double. The height of functioning was the November 15 session when the dialogue surrounding worship schedule alternatives moved to one of what it would take to move the congregation forward. The steering committee descended from this height when on December 5 it could not get it arms around next steps. This shows the steering committee has begun to realize they must work on solutions rather than fixes, but they are still very unclear and divided on the content of those solutions. At the same time, during November through today three staff persons have either left, announced their intention to leave, or had had their position eliminated. This additional emotional stress certainly feeds into the challenge of current decisions. It also puts more stress and focus on remaining staff. Wieuca is seeking to succeed through being a successful business organization rather than a spiritual community. As a Retirement Stage congregation it is being led by Management and many of the solutions proposed are management solutions. While it is true decisive management is needed in the short-term, in the longterm it will smother the congregation if not guided by a positive, spiritual vision. The Governance Ad Hoc Committee report is a symbol of this. Its recommendation is a good and decisive move. At the same time one of its thoughtsthat this may be something to try for three yearsis probably the best part of their recommendation. Any longer than this and it could turn negative. I do believe the Governance Ad Hoc Committee should be asked to change one of its principles. That is the one where none of them will serve on the first board. The presence of a couple of persons who have been part of developing the recommendation is crucial. Wieuca appears willing to confront and even terminate staff persons who do not meet their expectations, but is unwilling to confront laypersons who do not meet their expectations. Both must occur for the congregation to have long-term healing. One without the other is ineffective, and leads to ongoing dysfunction. My observation is that even the CMSC functions as a passive to even active enabler at dysfunctional actions by laypersons. You may remember that in the oral presentation of my report last June I suggested that I rejected a radical, nuclear recommendation in favor of recommendations that would allow Wieuca to heal and reconcile if it was willing to do so. The key part of that radical or nuclear recommendation would have been to ask four staff persons to leave and three laypersons to step aside from any elected, appointed, or volunteer positions in the congregation for one year. With the leaving of Donn Wisdom and the elimination of Jake Myers position, three of those four staff persons will be gone from the congregation. Jane Martin was the first one, and Michael Tutterow would be the four if he were to leave under any circumstances. 8
th

All three of the laypersons are still involved in the congregation, and I assume in most or all of the roles both formal and informalthey previously held. My perception is that all three are continuing to express influence in the congregation that may not be leading to healing and reconciliation. However, some of my perception comes from second and third person information. If Michael Tutterow ever gets to the place he desires to transition out of the congregation, or if the congregation terminates him, then all three of these laypersons must also be asked to step aside for at least a year or else the congregation will continue to repeat its cycle of ministerial termination and fixes. And, more important, without a change in the layperson power structure no credible pastoral candidates will consider becoming Wieucas pastor. Accomplishments of the Conflict Mediation Steering Committee June 13, 2009 to April 15, 2010 1. Presented, held congregational town hall sessions, and secured a greater than 60 percent vote in favor of the consultants report as presented to the congregation on June 14, 2009, which included ten recommendations with three seasons or phases of the mediation process from August 1, 2009 through July 31, 2010. 2. Provided overall coordination for the Three Seasons of Resolution outlined in recommendations one and two. Began to move around 15 days early from a focus on the first season to the second season, and around 30 days early from a focus on the second season to the third season. 3. Organized, launched, and supported the 100 Days of Dialogue and Prayer Triplets involving around 190 to 200 people as called for in recommendation three. The suggested goal had been to have 250 people involved. During the 100 Days the CMSC also sought to provide written and oral communication to and within the congregation in support of healing and reconciliation, and sponsored fellowship experiences to raise the level of informal, intergenerational, and inter-tenure interactions within the congregation. The CMSC also went through a period of seeking to learn how to relate to one another in the midst of their own diversity and varying perspectives on the past, present, and future of the congregation. At various times some members of the CMSC have chose to remove themselves from the CMSC. This is typical. 4. Out of the mandate of recommendation nine, the CMSC secured, approved, supported, and held accountable the services of a third-party coach, Suzanne Goebel, for the senior pastor and staff to help them build a new covenant of relationship and leadership for the congregation. After an appropriate amount of time, the service of the coach was referred to the church personnel committee for their supervision and coordination of these services. This process was intended to affirm the presence of all staff who chose to remain with Wieuca, and help them build a new base for relationship with one another and the congregation, and a new base for leading the congregation as a unified team. Four staff persons chose to leave the church, and one staff persons position was eliminated. 5. Engaged in clarifying dialogue around and supported the actions of the ad hoc committees on Governance and Worship. The Governance report is substantially ready for presentation to the congregation. It comes from deep and thorough research and dialogue with various individuals and groups. The CMSC has affirmed their report. The Governance Ad Hoc Committee is waiting for an appropriate time to take their report forward. 6. The Worship Ad Hoc Committee worked hard and faithfully to come up with a recommendation on worship that would be approved by the church-in-conference. Ultimately the CMSC asked them to set their report aside as it was felt that it involved so many compromises as not to be a strong, positive solution for the church. Out of this the CMSC sought to address a deeper solution regarding worship. Ultimately it determined to support the leadership of the pastor and staff and a recommendation the pastor presented to combine the worship services in the Peachtree Room for a period of weeks to build 9

deeper relationship in worship, and then return to the sanctuary on Palm Sunday and following for worship through the one service. 7. The CMSC has referred to the appropriate committee of the church matters related to staffing, finances, stewardship, and facilities in the belief that these entities are sufficiently healthy to handle the current situations, and to make recommendations to the church on any new short-term patterns in these areas. This was called for in recommendations four, six, seven, eight, and nine. It is believed that longterm patterns need to be developed only after a new sense of vision and spiritual strategic direction has been developed. 8. Recommendation five called for crafting the future story of Wieuca in for the year 2020. This is part th of the third season. This process was launched on March 14 by the CMSC and is its top priority of this th juncture. On March 4 the CMSC declared that the second season has been substantially completed and that the key focus should be on crafting an understanding of Gods future for the congregation. The committee is meeting every three weeks to provide concentrated effort in this area.

Review of Season Three Actions

In March 2010 the CMSC began working on the agenda items related to Season ThreeSetting New Patterns. For documentation, here are the pieces with which they dealt. Congregational Issues for Generative Dialogue March 2010 Explanation: These are ten issues with which congregation need to assess themselves to determine the strength and style of their starting point for setting new patterns. The ten are listed below in priority order as perceived by the CMSC. HIGH PRIORITY People of Passion: I can name at least seven people or seven percentwhichever is higherof the average number of active, attending adults in our congregation, present on a typical weekend for worship, who have a positive and passionate sense of urgency for transition and change that may lead to transformation and the achievement of the full kingdom potential of our congregation. They also have the spiritual, leadership, and strategic knowledge and maturity to appropriately initiate and champion transition and change within our congregation. People of Position: Our key lay leaders have a genuine commitment to transition and change for our congregation that may lead to transformation and the achievement of the full kingdom potential of our congregation. While not always the people of greatest passion about the future of the congregation, by position and power they are competent and committed to lead us to fulfill our full kingdom potential. In addition, our congregation highly respects them, and will proactively support their leadership in a spiritual, strategic journey toward reaching their full kingdom potential. People of Pastoral Leadership: Our pastor has a genuine commitment to transition and change for our congregation that may lead to transformation and the achievement of the full kingdom potential of our congregation. In addition, our pastor is highly respected by our congregation, and they will proactively support our pastors initiating leadership and vision casting as part of a spiritual, strategic journey toward reaching their full kingdom potential. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------MEDIUM PRIORITY Programmatic Emphases: Our congregation has outstanding programs, ministries, and activities for which we are well known throughout our congregation, and our geographic community or the target groups we serve. Our programs, ministries, and activities seem to be growing in numbers and quality. Our programs are meeting real, identified spiritual, social, and emotional needs of people. 10

Relationship Experiences: Our congregation is doing well at attracting people to a Christ-centered faith journey [evangelism], and at helping people who are connected with our congregation to be on an intentional and maturing Christ-centered faith journey [discipleship development]. Among the results of the faith journey of people in our congregation is a deepening spirituality, the development of numerous new leaders, and a willingness by many people to get actively involved in congregational leadership positions and in places of ministry service within and beyond the congregation [lay mobilization]. Contextual Relevance: Our congregation is demographically similar to its geographic community or the target groups that it has served over the years. Little or no gap is developing between the persons attending our congregation, and the geographic community or the target groups we have sought to serve over the past ten years. We are demographically reflective of the people we seek to serve in gender, age, race/ethnicity, socioeconomics, and lifestyle. Communication and Conflict: Our congregation has clear, open, healthy communication channels that allow the congregation to identify and deal with any issues that might disrupt the sense of fellowship and unity, and perhaps produce unhealthy conflict. Our congregation works hard at creating and nurturing healthy relationships as a Christ-centered faith community, and uses our diversity to build a deep, qualitative sense of being on a common journey. We know how to disagree with one another without being disagreeable in a way that can destroy our relationship with God and one another. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------LOW PRIORITY Visionary Leadership: Our congregation has a strong, clear, and passionate sense of our identity involving mission and purpose [who we are], our core values [what we believe or highly value], our vision [where we are headed], and our spiritual strategic journey as a congregation [how we are getting there]. Accountable Management: Our congregation has excellent, flexible management systems [teams, committees, councils, boards, leadership communities] that empower the future direction of our congregation rather than seek to control the future direction. Decision-making is open and responsive to congregational input. Finances are healthy and increasing each year. The management systems are supportive of the visionary leadership efforts by the pastor, staff, and congregational leadership. Church Growth: Our congregation has grown in membership and weekly worship attendance during the past five to ten years by at minimum of 10 to 15 percent. [Or, compared to the change over the past five to ten years in population or size of the geographic community or the target groups we serve, our congregation has sustained or achieved an attendance that could be legitimately called growing compared to our geographic community or target groups.] 25 Factors That May Impact Survivability, Vitality, and Vibrancy Will Wieuca Still Exist Ten Years From Now? March 2010 Explanation: Another assessment instrument used to consider the starting point for Wieuca was a survey of these 25 factors that will impact the future survivability, vitality, and vibrancy of Wieuca. The following is the order and categorizing resulting from a survey of the CMSC. Wieuca is More Like to Exist with Vitality and Vibrancy Ten Years from Now Because . . . 1. 2. 3. It has a weekly worship attendance greater from 136. It has no dependence on income from endowment. It has leadership that is more empowering and shared than it is controlling.

Wieuca is Marginal to Exist with Vitality and Vibrancy Ten Years from Now Because . . . 1. 2. It has low expectations of members. It is programmatically flavored and captivated. 11

3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12.

It has fuzzy core values. It takes unintentional rather than intentional actions. It has relationships that are about meaningful fellowship more than relationships that are about true friendships. It has worship that is primarily a weekly program than it is a true encounter with God. It is in the Retirement stage of the congregational life cycle. It has an average age of the active congregation that is between 50 and 65. It has an average tenure of membership and regular attendance that is between 15 and 25 years in length. It has less than 20 percent of its active adults who are tithers. It has facilities that need regular repairs. It is conflicted between Christ and culture.

Wieuca is Uncertain to Exist with Vitality and Vibrancy Ten Years from Now Because . . . 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. It is self-focused rather than kingdom focused, and almost survival focused. It has limited contextual relevance with its stagnant to shifting context. It has less than 50 percent of the active congregation who are deeply involved in the congregation through worship attendance, spiritual formation, relationship networking, and a place a ministry or service in or through the congregation. It is experiencing primarily biological and transfer growth, but little conversion growth. It has controlling management that is dysfunctional in some areas.

Wieuca is Less Likely to Exist with Vitality and Vibrancy Ten Years from Now Because . . . 1. 2. 3. 4. It lacks vision. It has declining attendance. It has less than 20 percent of the budget receipts going to programs, ministries, activities, and missional efforts. It has a repeating pattern of conflict. Choices for the Future March 2010 Explanation: Here is a list of possible choices congregations consider when they are facing a hinge point in their lives. The 13 are listed below in priority order as perceived by the CMSC. HIGH PRIORITY Multigenerational Congregation: Be a congregation that embraces various birth generations by offering programs, ministries, and activities that address the unique needs of these various generations. This may call for multiple worship, discipleship, fellowship and mission involvement styles. Neighborhood or Community Focused Congregation: Become a congregation that intentionally focuses more deeply on the neighborhood or community near the location of the congregation. Engage in various missional approaches that seek to bring about community transformation. Multiple Worshiping Communities Congregation: Be a congregation that starts and nurtures multiple worshipping communities within an existing congregation. Provide three or more worship experiences each weekend with each having a different style or target groups they are seeking to reach.

MEDIUM PRIORITY Multiple Communities Congregation: Become a congregation that focuses both on people near the congregational facilities, and far away from the congregational facilities. We have a sense of mission to our current, long-term location. At the same time we need to continue providing programs, ministries and activities that appeal to existing members. 12

Congregational Multiplication Movement: Develop and sustain a strategy of starting multiple new congregations where the fulfillment of this strategy leads to a self-perpetuating congregational multiplication movement. Seek to start at least one new congregation each year within our context, country, or around the world. Metropolitan Regional Congregation: Become a congregation that seeks to appeal to people from a large region of our metropolitan area with high quality programs, ministries, and activities that meet the needs of various age groups. [To do this the current weekly worship attendance of the congregation needs to be at least 500.] Multiple Congregations Within a Congregation: Be a congregation that starts or nests multiple congregations within its congregational facilities. Each of these congregations would be substantially autonomous with the congregation of heritage probably continuing to own and maintain the facilities. Merge with Other Congregations: Merge with a couple of other congregations to form a new congregation or a community of congregations that will have greater size, leadership, finances, and capacity to worship, conduct programs, and engage in ministries of various types. Social Service or Special Purpose Congregation: Determine that which is most unique to the congregational participants as a social service or special purpose cause, and pursue it. Become a congregation that focuses on specific doctrinal positions, ministry emphases, age groups, or worship styles, and chooses not to focus on other perspectives. Multicultural Congregation: Develop a congregation that is clearly multicultural, and not dominated by a single culture. Intentionally seek to embrace a diversity of people from various racial, ethnic, socioeconomic, cultural, and national backgrounds to the extent your context is characterized by such diversity.

LOW PRIORITY Multiple Site Congregation: Become a congregation that worships in multiple locations. Probably retain our current location, but also start one or more worship, discipleship, and fellow locations in other places around our town, county, or metropolitan area. Stay the Course and Remain Substantially the Same: Continue primarily the same direction in which the congregation is currently headed. We are on the right track. We simply need to focus on more effective efforts. We may choose to move forward at a pace which could be called incremental, or could be called significant, or could be called radical, but primarily in the same direction we are currently headed. Relocate to a More Promising Location: Relocate the meeting place of our congregation for more effective growth and ministry. We need to relocate to where a larger percentage of our congregational members live, and where the population around the new location is greater in number and more likely to be people who would want to attend our congregation.

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Leaving, Staying, and Becoming Well Following a Lose/Leave Conflict in a Congregation

A major conflict situation has just occurred in your congregation. You are upset. It is impacting your spiritual and emotional well being. It is having a negative effect on your family. What do you do? Do you stay? Do you leave? The most crucial time for congregations is the six to 18 months following a lose/leave incident. This is an incident when some people lose and some people leave. It often involves voting, or the legislative process of the congregation or its board. It is known as an intensity five conflict situation in my book Every Congregation Needs a Little Conflict. Seven intensities of conflict exist. As bad as it is, it could be worse; although on some days that is hard to believe. This article deals with a specific type of lose/leave incident. This is when a senior or solo pastor is terminated by direct or indirect action. At one time a survey was conducted that showed that 80 percent of all senior or solo pastor terminations happened without a vote of the congregation or board. The pastor reaches a place where he or she cannot go on in this ministry setting, or the authority system of the denomination removes the pastor. Numerous other scenarios exist for which the insights in this article may apply. At intensity five conflict, when a lose/leave incident occurs, the illusion of winning is more important than the health of the congregation. At intensity four conflict or lower the health of the congregation is more important than the felt need to win. The only problem is there are no winners following an intensity five conflict event. Some people lose and some people leave. No one wins. Often the people who forced an intensity five event will deny they were trying to win. They also have misunderstandings about other activities in which they have engaged or attitudes they have held. In many cases they are myopic concerning the fact that their opposition to the person or role of the current pastor is causing them to engage in and justify lose/leave actions. They falsely believe they are saving the church, when in fact they are further wounding the church. As of result, in the mid-term to long-term they lose. The people who wanted to halt the escalation of the conflict engagement and actively participate in mediation were willing to engage the conflict at intensity four, but did not want to go on to intensity five. For them the health of the congregation was more important than escalating the conflict. They have trouble understanding why people would want to continue fighting. Regardless who is as fault, is this not enough? Sadly it is their willingness to look beyond the current conflict to a renewed and reconciled congregation that shows weakness that is exploited by those who desire to continue the fight. As a result in the mid-term to long-term they leave. Once a lose/leave incident occurs it cannot be taken back. It has happened. The damage has been done. Some people have lost. Some people will leave. In reality, people from various perspectives on the conflict have been leaving ever since the conflict reached intensity four. Now more people, especially from one perspective, start to leave out of despair. They had been hanging on hoping for mediation to work and reconciliation to break through Specifically, the people who have continued to support the pastor now leave if the pastor leaves. People who have opposed the pastor tend to stay. By the way, the opposite can also occur. If the legislative process of the congregation affirms the pastor, those who oppose the pastor may leave, and those who supported the pastor may lose; again because there are no winners. Regardless of how this situation transpires in your congregation, people must learn how to leave well or stay well. In addition, everyone must eventually focus on being well. How do you do that? No exact formula or checklist exists. However, here are some things that could be addressed. What would you affirm, challenge, change, or add to these suggestions? 14

Leaving Well Once you have decided to leave a congregation as a result of unhealthy conflict, how do you leave well? Here are ten suggestions. [Note: Some are substantially the same as those mentioned in the Staying Well section, as same or similar processes are needed for all people.] 1. Take no parting shots. Leaving well involves taking actions that reflect decency and order. This is your opportunity to be an example of Christian civility. Take care of responsibilities for which you are accountable to your congregation. Be sure someone has the appropriate information they need as to projects and processes in which you are engaged so that the remaining congregation can pick up those responsibilities if they so choose. 2. Seek to understand the emotional and spiritual impact leaving is having on you. It is a situation of grief, and you must allow yourself to process your grief. One now classic set of grief stages popularized by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross involve denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. 3. Enter a season of transition from the old to the new. Organizational theorist Kurt Lewins model was unfreezing, transition/change movement, and refreezing. Some years later William Bridges talked about this as ending or letting go, the neutral zone, and new beginnings. Whatever words work for you, realize that for a while you will be leaving, then you move forward, and finally you will arrive at a new place and understanding. 4. Take care of your family. Unless you are a single person household, you may have other persons in your family or household looking to you for leadership. If you are involved in mediating the conflict before the lose/leave event they will inevitably be drawn into the conflict. They need and deserve care and reassurance about church and Christ. 5. Engage in self-examination as to what you could have done differently, and where you may actually be at fault. By the time conflict approaches an intensity five all of the active congregation is involved in some way. Everyone has an opportunity to contribute to healing and reconciliation through prayers, loving words and relationships, and acts of kindness that contribute to healing and reconciliation. How did you do in the build up to the lose/leave engagement? What could you have done different? What did you learn from this experience that you can apply if you ever encounter this situation again? 6. Following self-examination, where you find you may actually have been at fault, accept responsibility and seek forgiveness from God and, as appropriate, specific people you may have wounded. If you truly repent then forgiveness from God is a slam dunk. Realize that forgiveness from specific people may not come immediately or easily. 7. Seek to distinguish a relationship within a congregation from a relationship to the triune God. Congregations often fail us. God never fails. God is always good and loving. Congregations are as much human institutions as they are Christ-centered, faith-based communities. As such, they can do violence to one another. 8. Be generous in leaving. One tendency when you have decided to leave is to cut off your financial contributions to the congregation you are leaving. That may not always be wise and loving. The congregation may have increased financial obligations for a short period and less income to cover them. You have invested in this congregation. It is important in leaving well to satisfy any financial obligations you may have to the congregation, and even to be generous beyond what would seem required. 9. Seek a new relationship with a Christ-centered, faith-based community quickly. However, do not take into other congregation agendas from your former congregation. Do not get involved in leadership roles in the new congregation until you are ready to talk about going forward, rather than what you did not like about the former congregation. 15

10. At times people who leave band together to form a new congregation. Do this only if there is a clear vision for a new congregation and the things it can contribute to Gods kingdom. Too often new congregations focus on not being like the former congregation, and never develop a clear and deep sense of spiritual strategic journey. Such congregations may experience arrested development six to ten years into their existence. When this happens they may revert back to old patterns and becoming like the congregation they left. Staying Well Once you have decided to stay with a congregation following an unhealthy conflict situation, how do you stay well? Here are ten suggestions. [Note: Some are substantially the same as those mentioned in the Leaving Well section, as same or similar processes are needed for all people.] 1. Realize that the healthy future of your congregation may depend on what you do over the next six to 18 months. Will you figure out possible dysfunctional patterns, or will you be doomed as a congregation to be a repeat offender? 2. Study and apply the 22 ways to never experience unhealthy conflict again in your congregation. This is the basis of chapter 11 of Every Congregation Needs a Little Conflict. More details on these are also available in a 29 page collection of writings available from The Columbia Partnership at www.TheColumbiaPartnership.org or www.BullardJournal.org. 3. Take no pushing shots. Staying well involves taking actions that reflect decency and order. This is your opportunity to be an example of Christian civility. Allow people to separate from the congregation without making accusations as they leave. Seek an orderly transition of responsibilities and accountabilities. Be sure someone has the appropriate information they need as to projects and processes in which people leaving are engaged so that the remaining congregation can pick up those responsibilities, if you so choose. Formal exit interviews may be appropriate. 4. Seek to understand the emotional and spiritual impact staying is having on you. It is a situation of grief, and you must allow yourself to process your grief. One now classic set of grief stages popularized by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross involve denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. 5. Enter a season of transition from the old to the new. Organizational theorist Kurt Lewins model was unfreezing, transition/change movement, and refreezing. Some years later William Bridges talked about this as ending or letting go, the neutral zone, and new beginnings. Whatever words work for you, realize that for a while you will be staying, then will move forward, and finally you will arrive at a new place and understanding of how to minister in and through this congregation. 6. Take care of your family. Unless you are a single person household, you may have other persons in your family or household looking to you for leadership. If you are involved in mediating the conflict before the lose/leave event they will inevitably be drawn into the conflict. They need and deserve care and reassurance about church and Christ. 7. Engage in self-examination as to what you could have done differently, and where you may actually be at fault. By the time conflict approaches an intensity five all of the active congregation is involved in some way. Everyone has an opportunity to contribute to healing and reconciliation through prayers, loving words and relationships, and acts of kindness that contribute to healing and reconciliation. How did you do in the build up to the lose/leave engagement? What could you have done different? What did you learn from this experience that you can apply if you ever encounter this situation again? 8. Following self-examination, where you find you may actually have been at fault, accept responsibility and seek forgiveness from God and, as appropriate, specific people you may have wounded. If you truly repent then forgiveness from God is a slam dunk. Realize that forgiveness from specific people may not come immediately or easily. 16

9. Be generous in financial severance. It is possible that finances will be extremely tight in your congregation when people start leaving. Even so, it is very important for your congregation to be as generous as possible in the severance it offers to the senior or solo pastor, and any other staff persons who leave. This can be the first step in a new round of healing and reconciliation. To not be generous may exhibit a spirit of unresolved anger that will not be healthy for the next stage of the congregations life. 10. Do not continue escalating the conflict. Enough is enough. The next intensity of conflict is to pursue people beyond the congregation. Allow people to leave well. You will need all the energy you have to focus on healing and reconciliation. To move on to intensity six may show psychological dysfunction in individuals and the congregation as an emotional system. A related idea is to not change congregational documents, position descriptions, and procedures based on what you did not like about the pastor and others who leave the congregation. Any changes should be based on a healthy going forward as a congregation. Becoming Well Having been significantly impacted by conflict in your church, how do you become well? Everyone needs to become spiritually and emotionally well. People who leave and people who stay need to become well. My observation is that people who leave are often well before people who stay. The reason is that people who stay remain in denial longer that they did anything to contribute to the lose/leave situation for which they need to repent and seek forgiveness. People who leave move into new life-giving patterns quicker and realize their own need to repent and seek forgiveness. The bottom line is that it takes a while to become well. Time heals some. New healthy patterns of congregational life help some. Personal spiritual and emotional growth helps a lot. New insights into our own shortcomings provide opportunities for growth. The power of others around us to bless us in our journey assists our wellness. The unconditional love of God that helps us bring forth reconciliation from the inside out helps a bunch. In fact, it may be the ultimate healing experience. At times closure or renewal of relationships with people previously together in the same congregation can be achieved. Some congregations have even publicly reconciled some years later. This will have to come when people are ready. It cannot be rushed.

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Final Recommendations for the Staying Congregation

1. Study the material on pages 14-17 entitled Leaving, Staying, and Becoming Well Following a Lose/Leave Conflict in a Congregation and seek to practice the suggestions for staying well and becoming well. Your conflict is not over. It is still there. You now have less diversity about your past, present, and future than you had at the end of April 2010. The next six to 18 months are crucial for Wieuca. If you come to grips with your perceived repeating pattern of conflict, then you may have a great future. If you continue to deny your perceived repeating pattern of conflict, then you will be right back at the same place three to five years from now. 2. Take a significant action to show you want to go in a different direction than you have in your past 20 years. Show that you want a different lay leadership and management pattern. A key issue in moving in a different direction is to confront the fact that you may be allowing individual laypersons to have too strong of an influenceto where it becomes controllingon decisions and actions. Typically the focus group process reveals and documents any laypersons whose influence has become controlling or overbearing. In the case of Wieuca, because the active congregation was so evenly divided on the conflict, the formal process did not reveal these persons. Yet, my assessment clearly showed that three laypersons were expressing controlling influence on the life of the congregation. Their actions since the report and recommendations were made to the congregation in June 2009 show that my personal assessment was on target. I chose not to publicly recommend that these laypersons step aside from all of their congregational roles for at least a year, as would be my typical pattern, for several reasons. However, I believe at this point the congregation will not be able to convince future pastoral candidates that it has changed unless it is now willing to ask these people to not just step aside for a year, but to fully leave the church. I am unwilling to name these three unless the congregation is formally committed to asking them to leave. If the church-in-conference votes to ask me to name these three individuals, I would be willing to do so. Without this formal request naming them would not serve the church well. 3. Do not put in place a pastor search committee for a new pastor until January 2011. The reason is to not rush the current interim process. To start the formal search too soon will hamper your healing and contribute to later intensity five conflicts. 4. Do not call a new senior pastor until you are clear about your vision as a congregation for the next decade of life. You should call a pastor based on a candidates gifts, skills, and preferences as they match the vision and spiritual strategic direction of the congregation. To expect a pastor to unite you in vision if you are not already sold on a vision is unwise, and too often does not work. The congregation must own their vision and ask the new pastor to help you fulfill it.

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