Teacher as a Writer Adrienne Woolbright CI 476

February 3, 2012 Ring, Ring went the phone in my kindergarten classroom. All of my students eyes were on me as I put down the book I was reading to them at the carpet and got up to answer the phone. When I picked it up and the teacher on the other end of the phone identified herself I already knew what was coming. Hello she said cheerfully. This is Mrs. Hanners the art teacher I just wanted to inform you that a student in your class had an accident in my class today. I already knew this because I could smell the stench coming towards me as my students filed into my classroom after art. I sent the identified student to the nurse to clean himself up. I informed Mrs. Hanners of this and asked her how she knew? My fifth grade class just found a turd on the floor under his seat. Consumed with the urge to burst into laughter I glanced at the carpet where all 32 eyes were still glued to me. I quickly gained my composure and responded with an understanding oh I see. I returned to the carpet to finish the story I had started to read even though my mind was no longer on penguins. Braydn, the culprit, entered the room wearing a new pair of pants. He took a seat at the back of the carpet. Immediately Kayla a sweet girl also sitting in the back of the carpet, made an indescribable face. Braydn must not have wiped himself completely clean in the nurses office because Kaylas face explained his smell perfectly. She quickly moved over a few feet and I continued to read Cuddly Duddly. I glanced up during my reading to see Kolten, the boy sitting in front of Braydn plugging his nose and Braydn himself plugging his nose. I continued reading trying to ignore the situation

Teacher as a Writer Adrienne Woolbright CI 476

taking place in my classroom until the smell seemed to walk up to the front of the room and hit me in the face. Bam! I could barely breathe and had to get up to catch my breath. Something had to be done. As I called Braydn out into the hall I brainstormed what I was about to say. I asked him if he cleaned u up in the nurses office and he nodded as if I asked him if he won the spelling bee, proud and sure. The smell was taking over so I had to get straight to the point and blurted well did you poop yourself again!? Again, he nodded yes. I asked him why, this seemed like a funny question looking back now, not expecting the answer he replied with. I was too lazy to go to the bathroom. TOO LAZY!? I thought to myself That is what I say when I order a pizza for delivery because I dont feel like cooking not an excuse for pooping your pants not one but twice! I yet again sent him to the nurse. As I walked back into my classroom amazed at what kindergartners say and do I was relieved when the bell rang for the students to get ready to go home. Oh the day in the life of a kindergarten teacher. February 7, 2012 So today as I am sitting at my desk working on something I hear a huge Achoo from the corner of the room. I look up to see Braydns hand covering his face and immediately I give him the teacher look which means take care of that and dont just pretend it didnt happen. He begins to make his way towards the tissue box and is almost moments away from grabbing the perfect resolution to his messy problem when he slowly starts to remove his hand from his face.

Teacher as a Writer Adrienne Woolbright CI 476

It almost happened in slow motion. He lifted his hand away from his face and the slime which he just sneezed out stretched from his face to his hand. After successfully removing his hand from his face he did what I was afraid of and wiped it on his pants. Now not only was there snot all over his face but it was now all over the back of his pants and would continue to trail around my classroom contaminating everything he sat on. If only he would have waited one more step and reached the mother land of Puffs. Oh the day in the life of a kindergarten teacher February 15, 2012 While on the carpet today the students were patiently waiting for everyone when Braydn leaned over to a girl named Erin and said I just want to marry Kayla she is so cute Erins reply was Yeah, but Im cuter and the two went about their time on the carpet talking about butterflies and moths. Oh the day in the life of a kindergarten teacher February 20, 2012 BOOM! was all I heard as I was at the front of the classroom trying to teach my eager to learn kindergartners about place value. Everyone turned their heads towards this loud distraction. Since this was the third time in one hour that Braydn had fallen out of his chair I asked him what the problem was. With all eyes on him he responded in a dead serious tone my chair seems to keep falling over and I have no idea why. I then proceeded to ask him if he was sitting in it properly and he assured me that he was. My class arose into a big discussion trying to

Teacher as a Writer Adrienne Woolbright CI 476

figure out why Braydns chair seemed to be falling over so often when he was in fact sitting in it properly. Maybe theres a chair snatcher in the room suggested Erin. Maybe the tooth fairy is pushing it over so you lose a tooth and she can add it to her tooth collection commented Gram. I remarked that I did not know and how all of these were great suggestions but maybe we should ask Braydn to model for us how he was sitting in his chair. He slowly put his knees on the bottom of the chair and his feet over the back then continued to lean the chair backwards so the chair was on two legs rather than four. He fell again right in front of us and I heard Gram remark from the other side of the classroom yup, definitely the tooth fairy. Oh the day in the life of a kindergarten teacher February 29, 2012 While the students were filing into class today I noticed that Braydns pants were wet but only in one specific area. I asked him Braydn did you have an accident? and he said well yes I did Miss. Woolbright. Today when I was on the playground a boy pushed me down and I fell in a puddle but I only got wet in one spot. My response Braydn go change your pants. Oh the day in the life of a kindergarten teacher