JUSTINES

MEMOIRS
ON

ACTUAL FREEDOM
PART - I

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Details: 1. 2. 3. 4. Book: Justines Memoirs On Actual Freedom (Part - I) Author: Justine E-mail: jkoperumcholan@gmail.com Edition: 2012

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Also by Justine

Q 7 0 . What is the use of realizing the actuality?

A n s : Illusion and delusion ends. Benefits are beyond

price. Instantly peace is found to yourself which you can share with the world.
Finally intelligence operates in you unimpeded. Blind nature is superseded. Actual perfection and excellence is free. Unadorned I stand on my own, more free than a bird on a wing, cleaner than sea-breeze. To be me is to be fresh, each moment again. Owing nothing to no one, I am Free from corruption. Perversity has vanished forever. Goodwill freed of social morality comes effortlessly. All internal conflicts are over. I am gentle and peaceful in character. Physical Universe is magnificent.

You can download this e-book from the given below links
1. Scribd Portal:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/84877549
2. Google docs :

https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B-B_O_ms6bsYLXNxQWsyaFdSVUN3NlBJbTExSkthQQ

My Spiritual Guru Sri La Sri Pandrimalai Swamikal

INTRODUCTION

My Story
I'm a Male, Indian. (60). Tamilian. Was born into a Catholic Christian family. Date of Birth: 17th September 1951, 12-18-30 p.m.(Noon), at Tiruchirappalli, Tamilnadu, India. Graduate in B.A.Sociology. On 4-11-1970, 8-00 a.m. I entered into Government of India service as Stenographer, with M/s Bharat Heavy Electricals Limited, Tiruchirappalli. For two years after joining duty, I lived a normal young man's life of music, movies and friends. In 1972, suddenly I found life was not as it seemed to be. I became acutely aware of the suffering of Humanity. I first read the book, 'Thought Power' of Swami Sivananda of Rishikesh, Himalayas, India. Then I had a meeting with Fr. Bede Griffiths, of Shantivanam, Kulittalai, Tamilnadu, India. His meeting promised me safety in spiritual life. In the mean time, I devoured thousands of spiritual books available on this earth. But I was growing more and more panic stricken. And I found a great spiritual asylum in a magnificent Guru Sri La Sri Pandrimalai Swamikal. He initiated me into a powerful Mantra towards worshipping god Murugan, the Deity of Tamilians. It was a successful pursuit that benefited me with material and spiritual benefits, along with rare siddhies, psychic powers like telepathy, precognition, and healing powers. I was happily married to my wife Bella. We were blessed with a rare and highly gifted girl child, who is now a Dentist abroad.

I got spiritual ENLIGHTENMENT on 30-4-1984. I resigned my lucrative government job, which was a shock to many. But my wife who also worked for the Government took it all cool and supported and sustained me. For few years I managed to live my Enlightened state, though all along I felt it to be a limitation. I started feeling uncomfortable in it. On 19-2-2007, by 12-15 pm I stumbled upon the website Actual Freedom of Richard. Then I never turned back. I became actually free in 3 years.

Mr. Richard

Richard & Justine

Richard & Justine

26-3-2010. Morning 8-30 A.M. Myself, my wife and our car driver are waiting at Tiruchchirappalli Airport, for Richard, the genitor of Actual Freedom. As per the original program, he was scheduled to arrive here by a day earlier. His flight was cancelled at Coolangatta, Australia. So he had stayed in a Hotel and I presumed he might come today. He had newly loaned an Apple I-Phone to come to India. That due to technical problem failed to connect us. There was communication gap. I enquired at the Airport Office; whether a passenger called Richard comes in to-days flight from Australia. The official was unable to answer me. He asked

me to tell his full name. I didnt know. After 10 minutes search through his computer, he
said, there is one passenger by name Richard Keith Parker, landing in another 20 minutes time. He asked me who was me to him. There was a terrorist threat over the Airport. I told the official that Richard is my friend. That official ridiculed me that being his friend, I didnt even know his full name.

And there came Richard. I introduced myself to him by way of greeting

him with my name. He cast a curious, sharp, expressionless, emotionless, somewhat tired look on me. I was struck by his simplicity. He was just holding a hand bag that was smaller than that of a school boy. I took that small bag with me, which he gave to me with a deep surveillance.

For me, Richard was and still seems to be an alien from some other planet. His manners are very gentlemanly. But I also sensed that he wont mix so freely with all. Because, I myself am that sort of a person.

When Richard was with me here, he wore only one pair of dress, an yellow T-shirt and a green half trouser. He said, the yellow signifies the sun and the green signifies the earth. I was surprised at his colour psychology.

In 1980-s when I was working for the Government, more than three times, on different occasions, in the office hours, I turned catatonic and I was rushed to the company

hospital. Some thought I was dead. My wife was phoned up to come. My officers
expressed anxiety to her, why I was like that. My wife had much regard for me. In those years, I used to weep uncontrollably sometimes almost the whole night. My wife used to tell me not to worry, and she was there to take care of me, under all circumstances and unconditionally.

But long back, when she found that I had an inclination to spirituality,
she started hating me as a wastrel. Till today, she considers me so.

When I walk on the streets, whenever I rest my eyes on women I get attracted. Especially, their behind has more allurement. But the strange things is, instantly, I perceive it to be a rotten flesh with its stench of blood and odour stinking around and I turn towards the thought of Infinity and Eternity that gives me Peace. While the bulging beautiful behind of a woman is absorbing to watch, in the same moment as I happen to look at a shrunken, dry, almost skeleton of an old women, all charm vanishes towards a neutral calm where the libido totally disappears into some nausea.

I never drink Coffee. I take rarely some Tea. I smoke only one cigarette a day, as I start to sip my drink for that day. Dont be surprised to know that I smoke one cigarette a

day. Just only one. I am a non-smoker. Just to respect the smokers all over the world, I do
this because I find smokers are more down to earth than the puritans. This does not underestimate the non-smokers. As well, I cant drink more than few drinks. For a long time I used little snuff in the early morning hours terrace walking. For the last 6 months that habit has

dropped from me involuntarily. Now I find myself that there is no way for me to take
that.

I remember my school days. Whenever I do that, something fills my heart and mind that is so cool. Instantly a Pure Consciousness Experience begins that lasts for 10 to 15 minutes. Then it evaporates. I am surprised why I still have PCEs. Richard speaks of his PCE once thro' psilocybin. But I feel he had different ways to it. Once he told as a four years old body, on a Sunday, he was swinging on an entrance gate of his home, as the elders were returning from the Church. He says it still remains in his memory with deep impact. I feel that was not only his first remembered brain memory but it had also some influence of a PCE even at that young

age.

Sex was such a fascination for me in my teens. Now I am 60 years old. My wife sleeps just one feet away from me on a cot, me on the floor, as I prefer floor. Though I am not

impotent, I have no inclination for sex. Because my wife hates me. With a hating mate,
my biology cant function sexually. It could only be an old peoples rape.

I always sympathize bus conductors. For me, they are the most troubled beings on the
earth. My hands shiver when I tender my coins for ticket.

When I travel in a bus, I almost know everyones thought. It drains me. This psychic awareness is a hangover from my spiritual days. Richard says he is 100% free of psychic awareness though he says, he was telepathic and psychically aware in his enlightenment years.

When my daughter abroad has stomach pain, I too have it. Last week, she got her left foot slipped and sustained some injury. That very moment, I got my left foot hit on a

sharp stone, as I always walk barefoot, and we both suffer the pain even today.

I dont like long journeys. It is 3 years since I made any journey beyond 50 kilometres.

I have one or two corns on my feet as I walk bare foot for many years. But the pleasure of

my barefoot walk makes me forget all pain.

I am straight. Monogamous, that too not cared for the past 5 years. I have no taste for polygyny. Whenever I think of sex, instantly I perceive the skeleton of bones, the body fluids, the mucus, the urine, faeces, gas, blood smell, the horrible pseudo person, inhabiting that flesh and blood body, and the cruelties that person can evoke. Then a sudden emptiness fills that space. There the Pristine Actuality shines in all its splendour. Sex disappears somewhere. Peace fills my heart and mind. Once in a month, for a day or two I turn bit auto erotic.

When my mother starts ascending the steps to my upstairs to call me for meals, I will be already half the way to meet her instinctively. This is almost normal.

Richard told me, it was Peter who told him to put his writings into a website. He also said it was Peter who brought an expensive camera to shoot the Actual Freedom videos. I think Richard is quiet media-shy, as well as, feels he cannot give a discourse on a pulpit.

Richard told me, Actual freedom is going to become like a wildfire the
world over.

Richard says, he wants to live for another hundred years. I dont have that desire. For me, death is more pleasant than living, because the cruelties and the insanities in the society are repugnant to me.

When my cell phone rings, I almost know who is calling. Or when I think of a person, he calls on me. Psychic can function even when you become actually free.

I know the peoples tricks and strategies. This angers me. Instead of experiencing the anger, I straight on the face tell to them, please dont do this to me.

When I am falling short of money to spend, I feel very uncomfortable and I always want to avoid that kind of situations. Though I am not a spendthrift, somehow I face pecuniary needs that still suffocate me although my sense of freedom is intact.

Myself and Richard took Richards newly bought Apple I Phone to get it opened in bazaar in Tiruchy. Perhaps the dealer found these two actually free persons to be too innocent or whatever it is. We were cheated. The dealer demanded an exorbitant sum. I sensed a foul game. Reluctantly I contacted my wife. She was in the Central Reserve Police. She disclosed the fraud involved by the dealer and saved us unscathed as well as with the phone got opened. This is where I respect my wifes acumen on common sense and her filial care on her husband.

When Richard stayed in our home in India for 9 days, on a certain day, Richard shouted, Ants are eating me. I saw few lines of tiny ants around him. I sprayed and cleared them. Was he unaware when they had started maiming him? One day, in my spiritual days, I saw a snake around the feet of my

Spiritual guru, Fr. Bede Griffiths. He was sitting on his chair and writing a letter on this
table. I didnt shout, but gathered some friends and talked what to do? If he moves his legs, the snake will bite him. We slowly got near him and one of us whispered to him, Father keep quiet. Dont move your legs. He looked at his legs and saw the snake entwined. He didnt move his legs at all. He was not in panic. Nor did it seem he enjoyed

it. After 3 long minutes that animal unwounded itself and disappeared. Can we do
that?

I perceive, people sense me differently, say for example, very kind hearted amicable, peace-loving, considerate, angel-like, etc. But I am simultaneously aware of my own cruel nature and that of the others.

My spiritual Guru Sri La Sri Pandrimalai Swamikal used to perform many miracles. One day I took Dr. Rupert Sheldrake, who is now a world famous scientist, author of the famous book 'A New Science of Life'. My Guru turned ordinary water into Rose Water. My scientist friend exclaimed amazing!

My guru once apported a Japanese camera with factory seal. It was auctioned and the money was sent to Tirupati temple. He manifested psychic powers like biloction, telepathy, precognition, materializations and dematerializations, levitation, etc.

When I got married and my wife was conceived, my guru predicted that I will have a daughter. It happened so. The strange fact is I myself have successfully predicted like

that in dozens of cases.

10

Kundalini experiences as reported in books are exaggerations. It is a tremendous energy, yes. I started having them even when I was 12 years old. But I did not know what it was. When I was attaining puberty, say when I was in the high school leaving condition, whenever I wrote crucial school examinations, when the bell for closure, say ten minutes warning bell sounds, I used to feel a great force from the back bottom of my

spine, rushing to the top of my head. My eyes will close. A darkness will surround. My
hands and legs will undergo a seizure, (like epileptic) which the examiners cannot notice. A sort of oblivion will surround me for six or ten seconds. All the while I will be holding my pen towards the paper. There was bliss in it. I will forget where I am or what I am doing. Still I will be very steady and knowing that I have to give my exam paper to

the examiner. There will be great sense of fulfilment. There will neither earth or sky or
anything. The school, paper and pen, the eagle like examiner, everything will vanish for few seconds. Then they will reappear. I will peacefully hand over my paper to the examiner with great contentment. And I will be the first ranking student in all exams too.

11

But later when I tried to arouse my Kundalini with the help of a yoga guru, the experiences were more of psychological kind, than physical. It took 5 years of systematic effort to fully raise the kundalini energy. And at that time I was in the regular government service, every day attending the office. My guru asked me to meditate one hour in the early morning, and one hour in the evening. I followed his instructions meticulously. And it yielded fruit as he promised. My guru appreciated that it was a remarkable feat when I was just 32 years old, while attending office everyday.

On a certain early morning, in my prayer room, when the energy violently struck my top of the head, as I was repeating some Mantra, I fell down on the floor for few seconds. I was both conscious and unconscious. My hands jerked violently, as well as my legs

twitched erratically and I was filled both with panic and bliss. For a while I felt I was
raised to the roof of the room, then suddenly thrust into the earth somewhere. But there was a sense of safety. This thing happened consequently for 14 days and then stopped altogether. I cannot force it to happen then.

12

In those days of vigorous kundalini arousals my wife helped me with sleeping pills to sleep. When I became actually free in January 2010, for 6 months I had to use every night a pill of calmpose to sleep. Now I don't need that, and I sleep like a log of wood. My neuronal agitation has calmed down. After years, even while walking on the street I had a knack to raise the kundalini energy to my head or leave it anywhere I like. After 2 years I simply got bored with that. Even now when I start writing something, the energy is palpably felt in my spinal cord in a buzz, a bio-electrical charge that is mostly active in the early morning hours, when I sit in front of a PC, with empty stomach. It is a pleasant biological

sensuousness, but not the pleasure that pores forth thousand times more, while I do my
marathon walks.

Even before the full blown awakening of Kundalini energy, and in its aftermath as well,
I had many minor and major psychic powers that made me notorious both in my office and at home. On kundalini awakening I wrote twenty thousand pages of poetry in English and Tamil. I burnt them when became actually free, as I found them irrelevant.

13

Myself and Richard, went to a Dam area in Tiruchy. From our car to that dam, it was a long walk, where vehicles were not allowed. Richard grabbed his precious laptop from the car. I told him, last week a foreigner was stabbed to death for his camera and it is not safe to carry his laptop. He obliged like a child, and left it in the car. On the way I asked him, Where is your second wife, Devika who is dead now? He laughed and said I dont know. She must be beneath the lake for which she

opted her remains to be sprayed over there. His face was bright and with an unearthly
beauty. It was considerably a long walk which was pleasant for me as I was basically a marathon walker. Perhaps it was tedium for Richard, he suddenly squatted on the lonely road and showed strange signs of discomfort or pain. This I witnessed on

three different occasions including one in a busy town street where buses and vehicles
were rallying fast. What was it, neither I asked nor did he explain. I have heard he has severe spinal cord problem from his younger days.

14

When we were sitting under a huge tree in the Dam area, Richard went and bought two bottles of fresh mango juice. He took one to himself and gave the other to me. He finished it in rapid take. But I cant take even a single swig. I was much worried about some poor women labourers carrying huge brick loads on their dwindling heads. Me and Richard spoke about it. I was asking how he got convinced that I have become actually free on 4th January 2010 based on my Direct Route Mail. As we were talking, it was 28th March 2010. Richard hushed his voice and looked deep into my eyes and murmured that he saw me in person, that I am actually free, and live in the magic wonderland of Actual

Freedom, and got confirmed himself while we were in the Dam area, previous day while
talking about those women carrying bricks.

That same evening he made the announcement to the world through his laptop that Justine has become the first actually free person from the instinctual passions without ever meeting Richard in person and it is a world record.

15

I wanted to celebrate that occasion. Unfortunately I was run out of money. And in my 30 years of married life, I have never asked for money from my earning wife. When I told my condition to Richard without any pretension he said he can spend for me. I took Richard on my Motor Bike to Hotel Sangam. I wanted to buy some drinks. There I was told it was a prohibition day. On an impulse I took Richard to a Star Hotel called Hotel Breeze. That place was exempted from prohibition. There Richard took some beer and me little Scotch. Richard paid the bill.

On the Hotel premises where Richard smoked his special hand made cigarettes the
Indian youth around there thought he was smoking marijuana. First, one young man approached me and asked for a gift cigarette. I looked at Richard and explained the scene, and he rolled one for him which was given to him by me. Then four, then six, the numbers asking for gift cigarettes went on. There were even repeat requests. Richard

went on obliging them. I got scared. It was possible Police may interfere thinking we
were selling marijuana. I politely told the youth circle to disperse and they obliged.

When Richard used the word destiny every now and then, I was surprised. When I

asked with him, he smiled and said, that he uses that word meaning destination. That
smile was impish to me.

16

In January 2010, one early morning there was an overseas call from my daughter. She said she had had a hypnogogic dream last night. That seemed very real to her and she was in a perturbed state of mind. She explained that like this. She saw herself sitting on the pulpit of a cemetery, in a graveyard. She read a name inscribed on the cross of that cemetery as EUGENIE ALEXANDRINE DIED ON 8-9-1969, in French. She felt that name was very familiar to her. And suddenly realised it was her own grave. Something struck me. On an impulse I checked with the websites, any one with that name. In fact, there was one Madam Alexandra David Neel, a French author on Buddhism, who had written more than 21 famous books on her credit. Her

natural name was Eugenie Alexandrine. I made a week long research, and many things
matched with my daughters life. David Neel had died on 8-9-1969. My daughter was born on 8-9-1979. There were 15 items that suggested as a case of rebirth, as per the standards followed by Ian Stevenson, the famous Reincarnation researcher. My daughter is a French student though a born Indian, and a dentist with research papers.

Myself and my daughter concluded, what is the use of it, even if it was a
rebirth case. She was declared by Richard as actually free, when she met him in person, at Coolangatta, last year in October, which is a different story.
{Richard's Mailing List-D - January 23 2012
For instance, a couple of months ago a person of Indian birth and upbringing flew into Coolangatta Airport late one night on a prearranged agreement to meet in person so as to talk about her life and to gain clarity in her life-style/ her livelihood situation. Less than 24 hours after landing she was actually free of blind natures instinctual passions/the feeling-being formed thereof. In other words, the person who landed at the airport (that feeling being who needed to gain clarity in her lifestyle/ her livelihood situation) vanished without a trace, in a matter of seconds, the following afternoon.

- Richard}

17

I have some past life memory. It is just like anyone's memory of yesterday, or yesteryears. But the dictum of Richard, that 'Whether rebirth is true or not, this life is the first and last', makes me get out of that reverie of my past memories.

Richard told my wife, he will eat just what Justine eats. And he did so. While eating he seems mechanical, as well as fully enjoying what he eats. I was doubting. I felt only his tongue tastes the food, and there was no one eating there. It was eerie only to me, not to my wife and my mother. I gifted Richard with a cool Indian cotton dhoti which he wore

with great pleasure and comfort. All the 9 days he was at our home, I never saw him
turning to right or left while getting down from the upstairs for his meals, say for instance to look at the window curtains, or the flower vase, or the book shelf, or even the kitchen style. NOTHING. I thought he wore some invisible horse blinkers. Richard came forward with Rupees 5000/-(nearly AUD100) for his stay

of 9 days. My wife politely refused to take it saying guests are equal to God. She thought
God will give her more, which never happened.

On a certain moon lit night on the terrace of my home his face showed effulgence that

was unique and remains unforgettable.

18

One day, I took Richard in car to Grand Anicut, another Dam area. I bought some cucumber from street vendors. Richard enjoyed it eating. When I pressed for more, he politely refused to take.

On another day Richard showed suddenly an altogether different personality. He seemed to be fully displeased with me and went on a lecture for more than an hour how he is deeply read, and he has a successful website visited by 2000 persons a day. It was an unpleasant experience for me.

I felt him simultaneously a being of compassion-Incarnate, as well as ruthlessness personified.

Richard seemed a most benign human as well as a totally uncaring one. I found him both very sweet as well as a bitter person. On a certain day Richard showed in his mini laptop one photo of his old admirer and who has now left. He spoke very affectionate about him and expressed

surprise he divorced his young wife.

19

But at no time I felt uncomfortable with him. Nor did he stir affection or awe to him. It was unique.

On the day of his departure from my home, Richard became all silence. I perceived only a physical body with him. It ate, spoke a little. In the Air Port it just stood still, neither thanking me nor telling anything to me. I stared at his face he stared on mine. I volunteered to shake hand with him that robotic being tendered its hand to me. That

hand was full of life as well as dead. The Airport was deserted. No one around me. My
wife never made it to accompany us. It was ten at night. I use to go to bed very early. I was working overtime. The car driver too was left out of the airport to avoid taxation. We both stood in the hot breeze of April alone. That memory still lingers in me. IT WAS THE CONCRETE ACTUALITY IN A PHYSICAL BODY. At that moment I

did not realize this. It struck me only the next day. I was transfixed solidly in my actual
freeness. Without turning back that body walked again like a robot into the Airport lounge leaving me alone. Not even once it turned back, nor did I expect it. I too made an about-turn and so casually walked to my car. There was nothing emotional or any melodrama. The whole impact was only the next day, and extends till this moment. It is

about actual ACTUALITY.

20

When I go to buy something in a mall full of crowd I become jittery. In India it is very bad with unruly behaviour of people though my calmness is stable, it is highly distracting, all the meanness and silliness of the crowd makes me uncomfortable and I want to quit that place as quickly as possible. Actually free, doesnt mean Im a macho to impinge a mad crowd and rule the roost of it all. Or to stoically tolerate the suffocation of an unruly mass.

Life seems unbelievably easy and unbelievably difficult. May be this is due to my
dependency on certain vital things on others.

Now I have hundreds of openings to arrive at peace in myself. And some loitering is for
fun indeed.

Now, life living me, or I living life both are same to me.

21

Still the peace of physical death reigns supreme than experiencing A.F. in the body while being alive. I think this will differ from one actualist to another.

The peace of oblivion appears in my being - more than hundred times a day.

I could neither love my wife, nor I could hate her. Six years back my wife severely warned
me not to touch her, and till this moment there's no violation on my part. She is the one who had often admired I can stand stud for 10 in a single night. I have zero libido which doesnt mean impotence. I am 100% virile.

In my early days, when I became actually free, my wife could not believe my silence and simplicity and started calling me by names like scoundrel, wastrel, useless dog etc. But for the past one year, she has almost stopped those decorum and mostly mirrors my

own silence.

22

In a sharp turnings in the walking zones, especially when I cross critical road crossings my brain neurons loudly shout my mantra Actual has no vibes. That cleverly and safely takes my body through the tumultuous traffic.

If things are in pell-mell fashion, my hands will go to put them neat and tidy, especially in a geometrical fashion. Richard uses quoting a phrase often rearranging the furniture in the Titanic. This he used to indicate, that Ancient Wisdom does not help towards

actual freedom. For me, this dictum helps to keep neat and tidy in the actually free state
too.

Every day the clarity grows. A task that looms mountainous becomes slowly very easy
like throwing away a dried twig.

23

My wife, as if thinking that she is helping me, she totally jammed the desktop wires. When I started correcting it, tension mounted upon tension. I started feeling almost as I was going mad. I chanted my mantra, Actual has no vibes, silently, and vigorously. My focus got recovered. A startling clarity got opened. I took one wire at a time. The next wire, next wire etc. In ten minutes, I decorated my table in a neat way. I was sweating. I took some cool water, accompanied by an ahimsa enema. I became all cool. I played a DVD on my PC with some drinks. Heaven returned to me.

A sudden thought gripped me. If my wife dies today suddenly? I had no emotion. But slowly I knew what a great loss it will be for me personally. She is bearing my load like a pillar. Then the thought came, any way, all has to die one day. And this womans atrocities are enormous. Her ego.. adamant activities, Ah!. Then a neutral peace of

OBLIVION descended. I got my nerves back. Anything is quite welcome!

Richard when heard the death news of his second wife Devika, after 24 hours of that

death he says, he felt a sort of relief and physically had a sensation of surf-riding. Even
an actually free person has such biological and psychological impacts.

24

It is 1 A.M. My sleep is disturbed. I find I have to go for a pee. I feel lazy to get up. The comfort of sleep is so obsessive. But now it has to be broken. My body felt heavy. First, there were no thoughts at all. Suddenly two three major thoughts entered my brain. They were connected to my previous days incidents. They made me somewhat unpleasant. There was uncomfortable sensation. After peeing, as usual all the time having automatic chanting of my mantra, Actual has no vibes, vigorously, I was still feeling like a punctured tyre. I put off the bath room light and hastened to my bed. For more than 20 minutes, I could not sleep. There were more than 10 or 20 major thoughts struggling for attention. All the while I was at ease and undisturbed. To be actually free,

doesnt mean you are not porous to thoughts. The secret is they are there without
affecting you.

After my physical death I wont even remember myself. And where to remember

others? But now I dont know why I worry much not only about myself but about others
too.

One need not get dazed oneself with AF insights. One can be so ordinary than the

ordinary people after becoming actually free. I saw it in person with Richard.

25

Some feel Richard uses a rubbery, long, complicated, and boring language style. He has penchant for accuracy and consistency. That way he is unique and gifted though it makes for a tiresome way of communication.

Physical death can happen to me within a fraction of a second. That many dangers are there around anybody. I may die even within 1/100th of a second. Thats why Im keen to enjoy my every moment of living intensely.

My greatest biological pleasure even than sex, is to always keep my bladders and the bowel almost empty.

India is a hot country. Every night before going to sleep by 7-00 pm I chill
down my body and brain with Air Conditioner for an hour (not more than that because our economy won't allow for more) and get into a pleasant sleep with my body seminude.

26

If you look at the tummy of Richard, it is more like that of a snakes so supple. He is indeed in many ways like that of a snake. Astrologically, his dominant planet is Rahu, (Moons North Node), the serpent. But he is a harmless serpent.

Experiencing AF is as easy and pleasant like smelling the fragrance of a rose flower or avidly sipping a glass of ordinary water when thirsty.

I have a terrible brain memory. If I walk 10 kilometres ( I never walk less than that), on my return, I can remember every pebble, every torn sheet of paper I happened to see on the way, the people who walked to and fro of me, the buses and their numbers, the

varied sky look that I passed, all the sounds that I encountered on the way, with all its
colourful details. In the beginning, it was annoying me. Later I found that I am actually free to see it or not to see it, as I want.

27

In August 2011, I experienced simultaneously, the same Kundalini surge of energy in Richards body who was 8,000 k.ms. away. This was cross-checked with Richard. He has acknowledged it and has documented it. Richard says it was not psychic, but actual.

******************************************************************************************************************* From: Richard Sent: Monday, September 05, 2011 1:59 PM To: Justine Cc: Vineeto Subject: Re: That Tangible Energy Gday Justine, Thank you for your explanatory emails (reproduced below in chronological order). (snipped)

I am pleased to see that the timing of what you describe as a tangible energy having been poured into you (after having entered a sort of hypnogogic state) is remarkably congruent... with the timing of that significant existential event ...(snipped) That event took place between 3:30 and 4:00 AM on the 28th August (early Sunday morning) here in Australia. As Indian clock-time is 5 & 1/2 hours behind Australian clock-time that makes it equivalent to being between 10:30 and 11:00 PM on the 27th August (Saturday night) in India. Quite remarkable, eh? * I am in the process of writing out a report/description/explanation of that existentially significant event, and the way in which it relates to that tangible energy, and will send it to you as soon as I have it finished. (snipped) Again, thank you for your detailed emails. Regards, Richard. --------------------------------------*****************************************************************************************************************

{Richard's Mailing List-D - February 09 2012 Be that as it may be: those potent surges were of such a magnitude that a rather remarkable man on another continent experienced what he had earlier reported as being a gentle energy (which he had further described, then, as being totally harmless) pouring into him, transfixing him in a sort of immobility (not of the body) and overwhelming him to such an extent that he communicated with me four days later, via email, and we were able to establish, with all due care taken in respect to time-zone differences, that the two events were congruent. Richard}

28

I have had profound experience of Astrology being a true science, but Richard has nothing to do with it, except to ridicule it heartily. One of my Indian Astrologer friends checked with some birth data of Richard and declared that he is a knower of Brahman, a great Gyani, but may not be uniquely proficient to guide others towards it. The nine days and nights that Richard stayed with us in our home in India I never saw him asleep even once. I had my sleep from 7-00 pm to 1-00 AM, which is a must for me. When I go upstairs to his room in the very early morning hours (say mid night hours), he will just be sitting in the open terrace smoking his hand made tobacco rolls, so

relaxed with his face with an unearthly radiance. It was a splendid thing to look at. Even
now when I think of it I get goose pimples. We would talk till 8-00 AM. But his body or mind never showed a single sign of tiredness of lack of sleep or anything. Not even once I saw him yawning either in day or night. He looked cherubic. His body emitted no scent or odour of any kind. Even the toilet he used remained as fresh as if he never used it.

Only thing that scared me was he regularly forgot to take his prescribed pills. We had to
remind him.

I felt it will be a difficult thing to live with him for long duration because, his attention
on you will be total and unnerving you.

29

When I took Richard for sight-seeing, he was very aloof making desultory remarks. He never showed any sign of absorption, amazing wonderment or appreciation. He was dry and in disinterested mode, if not criticizing anything. But when he was sitting alone, with his cigar on the vacant terrace, his face was in great wonderment and jubilance.

When I showed him our town from the top of the Rock Fort, and asked him what he thought of it, he murmured disinterestedly everyone is busy with themselves. It was, as if he was not looking at anything in particular. For many others, at that top there was

an enchanting panorama of that big city for many, it was once in a life-time chance.

He was not comfortable with his beer in a no-smoking bar. He was ok only when I took him out for a smoke.

Looking at great architectural wonders of Tanjore temple, he only stared at them unemotionally. I saw there was nothing in his mind. Or perhaps it was too subtle to

perceive.

30

During Richards stay with me, on a Sunday one long time AF enthusiast P.D. From Bangalore spent the day with us. Richard patiently answered many of his questions. When he took leave, Richard gave him an affectionate soft bear hug.

There was inordinate delay in getting the Air Ticket for Richard, for him to go to Delhi from my place. I was trusting that my wife was making the arrangements. But she had been busy with many things and perhaps forgot this main thing. That day when P.D. from Bangalore, who spent with us a day was leaving, Richard told me in a stern voice that he would join him in train up to Bangalore, and then from there he will fly to Delhi.

With some shock, I contacted my over cell phone and reminded of his journey. She got it
done immediately with a direct ticket from Trichy to Delhi. I sighed a breath of relief.

One day I asked him, are you an idiot savant? (meaning, a genius in a particular area

of brain and otherwise a total fool). He was all cool. He looked sharply at me and started
giving a mini-lecture that lasted more than 30 minutes. He said, he read a lot, experienced a lot, he has a successful website with a daily visit of 2000 guests, etc. It was all unemotional delivery of words, but in a strange way full of life. Slowly I grew nervous and a strange dread began to set on me. All the while I was

looking at his guileless form. It ended with my mummy calling us for supper. On the
dining table, he was an enthusiastic eater, while I was uneasy with some absorbed thoughts.

31

Another day, I asked him, Do you read Richards Journal?He laughed and said, that he doesnt read it, because, if he read it, he may have to rewrite it.

Now somebody is writing lies about this author in some forums. They are fibbing cock and bull stories that this author tried to commit suicide due to frustration with Richards guidance. Nothing can be farther from the truth. I became happy and harmless due to the insights of Richard.

One special thing is I have never met Richard in person, nor have I
written a single mail to him before I became actually free. It was he who came to see me in my home in India, when I became actually free.

My contention is that Richard is the most genuine and guileless human ever lived on this earth.

Fame is delusion. But people want it. It is really strange.

32

I feel Richard is somewhat displeased with my penchant for, and my over-simplifying of theories and practicals. He is more keen for accuracy and authenticity of his own insights that apparently seems he loves sophistry than simplicity. But I greatly respect his style of writing - because that saved me from illusion and delusion very quickly.

Since my wife is the bread-winner of this home I had to suffer lot of humiliations. In 3 years time, she has asked me to get out of the house more than three times. But shamelessly I am still living with her, because in Indian condition of the present day, the spiritual ashrams in India too have become corrupt places. I cant go and live there.

One of my close relation, is a trans-gender. The agony, that person undergoes is awful. I tried to heal that person through my AF insights. But it did not work. He prefers to live in his misery.

Since I do bare-foot walking for many years, say a ten kilometres a day, there are some discomforts in my legs. There is pain in feet perhaps all the time. I have a lingering a pain in my left leg. I slightly hinted to my negligent wife. She is uncaring.

Still I am not inclined to give it up. The freshness in my brain neurons

due to bare foot walking makes me to tolerate the discomforts arising out of it.

33

As the bus runs, my stomach churns with different emotions. All the vibes of the people run through me, though nothing affects me. This is the strangeness of being actually free, for me. I dont know about others. Their experiences may be altogether different in every way.

I always doubted whether Richard has some sort of disease like psychosis and had been
interpreted into a vision called Actual Freedom, by Richard himself. But the practical results that accrued to me, due to the practice of AF, in the form of Peace, Harmony, Happiness and Harmlessness has made me convinced it is not so. Even if it is so, then his ill-health itself is a welcome thing, at least for me.

It is also thought that his certain nerve ends have become atrophied; and thats why he speaks of some impossible goals for humanity. There too I consider that it must be a

welcome atrophy if it can bring Peace to Humanity.

34

It was mid noon. Hot sun above. I get down from the bus. I want to hasten up to the cool shade of my home. But I remember that my mother has given me a little task of fetching some medicine for her. My legs are already paining. I suddenly repeat my chanting, Actual has no vibes. I envision the exact programme to be carried out by me. A further 50 feet to the medical shop. All other thoughts I abolished. I started a counting one, two, left, right, left, right Started walking. Finished the task. Reached home without any strain. When we do a thing, in steps, forgetting other things, for the moment, keeping the brain neurons un-agitated we can do any task with supreme ease and

felicity.

I was carrying a little bottle of drinks on my back pocket. A thought came to me. Few

days back. A boy of 15 had carried a bottle of beer in his waistline stealthily, as boys
under 18 are forbidden to drink in this part of India. He was riding a bi-cycle in this condition. Suddenly he fell down for some reason on his way. The bottle in his waistline broke sharply and went inside his intestine and killed him on the spot. I checked my back pocket for once.

35

In AF it is not the Timelessness that is experienced. There is no entity to experience anything. But a physical body sensuously experiences something allocated to it by the physical universe for that moment and space (place).

By early morning, 3-00 AM I wake up and have a brisk shower in cold water. At that moment, I am very clearly aware that there is no entity at all. I exactly see myself just as the physical body washing itself by some innate intelligence. Sometimes, it is too scary to

myself. But very peaceful too.

By 7-00 AM I find everyone I meet or talk to be restless, worried, and engrossed In something somewhere. Sri Aurobindo says about them, in his epic poem Savitri, Fit for a days busy tramp.

Is Actual Freedom a hoax? Sometimes, I too thought like that. Only when I gained Peace, Happiness and Harmlessness, on an incremental gain basis, I made myself sure that Actual Freedom really works and it is not a hoax.

36

Richard told me, tobacco is NOT that much injurious to health as it is advertised. He explained to me, for more than half an hour, that it is all a wrong propaganda.

I many times felt that our very seeking for freedom itself alienate us, from our basic, intrinsic, innate, original freedom and traps us in bondage. But when I acquainted with AF, I felt sure, we need a way to retrieve back our lost freedom. And AF seems to be the sharpest and shortest to it.

Some complaint, Richard is arrogant and he does not come through to reveal the final secrets of AF. They feel he has not at all delivered his promised goods and he has conned

them. My observation is that, he is a most guileless human being on this earth. His
actual intimacy is misinterpreted as arrogance. It also seems the arrogance is the auto morphing of the critics themselves. Many expect Richard to give them freedom without committing psychic suicide on their part to enjoy Actual Freedom. Some want freedom with their ego and

instinctual passions kept intact.

37

I thought it is possible Richard too may suffer megalomania. Soon I was certain he is the least person on earth to suffer megalomania. He is PURITY personified.

One day, when I was sitting with him, I detected certain force field around him. When I told him about it, he said some other people have also said the same to him. I called it as Richards energy, and he uses it elsewhere too.

Once Richard told me, he had a loan of three thousand dollars from Vineeto which he
promptly returned back to her in due time. I found him to be a very down to earth person. Richard offered me from Actual Freedom Trust one thousand Australian dollars to print my book Essence Of Actual Freedom. At that time I didnt have the guts

to publish it and I returned the money back to the Trust intact.

Richard is both shy and explicit about sex.

38

Richard has already complained that I am using AF as the watered down version of Rajneeshism, and Tarin of Buddhism. I don't know of Tarin. But Richard is wrong about me. I have unanimously agreed with him long back that Rajneesh is nothing but 'empty rhetoric'.

When I asked with him about his children, he said he does not know anything about them. He was totally free from their influence. I felt ants creeping on my body. Such a

detachment?

Life is simple we make it complicated. This is the lesson I learnt from his close

association.

There is nothing but PEACE but we individuals suffer nothing but chaos.

39

Richard said he is an out and out atheist. But I perceived in him something more sacred and sublime than the so called divine people.

I have observed that in his Actually free condition, still he is bound by minimum 20 selfenforced disciplines that are natural with him. They don't bind him. But for me it seemed so. But he certainly is more than a yogi, mystic, saint, enlightened one etc. He is unique.

Richard is a living witness that freedom and happiness is POSSIBLE, on this very earth and in this very life.

One can chant All is well, but one realizes, all is not well too. In AF, this dichotomy is erased.

AF gives the guarantee to experience that all is always well.

40

Why people ask me to write? There are more than 4 million words of Richard, if they want to understand AF. What more can I add?

Richard is not the Infinite or the Infinite is not Richard. As far as I know, Richard is the most guileless and pure human on earth as it is today, and as far as I am concerned, though he and me owe nothing mutually, psychologically or financially or whatever way.

But his sense of actual intimacy is misinterpreted as arrogance on his part. I too have
experienced that in my acquaintance with him. It is not his fault. It is the energy of AF.

Many of my Indian friends want to know one thing. As it is India is a sexually repressed

country. In the western climate, there is more sexual freedom. And how I managed that?
I am monogamous. I live with a wife, even there I am a natural celibate for more than 6 years, even before coming to AF. I never had significant pre-extra-post marital experiences. But I am actually free. So, sex is not a big thing to become actually free.

41

Another question - how I manage my finances? My wife who had worked for the Government, takes care of me. I would like to say, not all monthly wage earners, can aspire for the path of AF. Mostly, it may not successfully work for them. Richard too had a pension. So he had no problem.

AF is the closest and sharpest way to freedom. No doubt about that. But that is not the only way. Richard may try to make us believe that to be so. Because it is the spirit of a progenitor. It is a welcome thing. But no one needs to be mesmerized with his words.

Be natural friends. Live life as it comes. Look at the face of your wife, your
child, a stranger. There is also the Infinite. Don't create a melodrama of yoga/religion/AF even, to see the Infinite.

Infinite will always remain the Infinite. Man, the finite will remain the finite forever. No
Yoga/religion/Actual Freedom, can bring the Infinite into the finite called Humanity. Don't go crazy. Some rare individuals like Richard, can peep into some narrow slit, into the domain of the Infinite, and get dazed and baffled, to offer it to one and all. Don't go crazy friends! It can never EVER happen to the entire Humanity. REPEAT, it can never

ever happen to the entire Humanity. This world suffers. Let us humbly accept it as a
secret of the Infinite.

42

Forget yoga/religion/AF and all man made things, if needed. Live simply like an ant, a rose, a cat, or a tea cup.

Nothing will help you except nature given capacity in you to see, live and experience life. Don't be greedy for siddhis of Religions or even of Actual Freedom.

Richard may be a vagabond, reckless human, an anarchist and whatever it is. We will never know who he really is. He may make tall claims. Nature has given us brains. Let us decide our own fate.

He never forces us to follow him. Let us quit, if we don't like him.

We are always free to ignore him. Even now I neither criticize, nor give total credit to my success to freedom to Richard, though AF is the culmination of my search towards Peace and Happiness. And I tremendously love that single man, for his labour and sacrifices, without any

outside help, to find the Actuality of things, and I venerate him as a god.

43

It is an irony, that most of the people who opt for AF, is the middle class, and working class people. Much moneyed, and 'financially free' people, those who need not work for a living, are not mostly attracted to AF, because their very 'financial freedom', numbs the aspiration to actual freedom. In the present order of the society, it is the proletariat, the working class is the majority. Many find consolation through prayers to their gods. Those who want to find concrete peace and ACTUALITY, opt for AF. But the rigid work-spot rules that treats a person not as a person, but as

a number, a category, an identity, a specific task force, almost a bonded slave, just a cog
in a machine, makes AF a distant dream for many. In principle, AF can work in any situation. But 9 out of 10 have told me they can't do that. Though they easily understand the principles underlying AF, in the daily application in their work spot, bends them to follow the law of the place. They suffer extreme frustration. They want to escape that

place. But they have families and its endless and innumerable obligations. So they have
to stay in that hell. In a way, AF demands more exclusive contemplative endeavour, which for many may need all their 24 hours. This is the ironical situation I studied from other people wanting AF. May be times may change. When many take to AF they may mutually help one another. Anything is possible. Till then, I think it will be a thing for

the privileged few.

44

E n t h u s i a s t : And I do apologize, Justine, if any sensibilities were offended with my ridiculous, inane remarks ... but really. Happiness and harmlessness isn't possible for someone who happens to be gainfully employed? J u s t i n e : Yours is the fire that helps for the final breakthrough for one to become actually free. You will do it. I wrote for them who are struggling hard, in AF. They are genuine aspirants, but their situations bind them. There is a limit to aim UNCONDITIONAL happiness and harmlessness. Can a soldier sent to Afghanistan aim that? He has limitation - why limitation almost impossibility. There are various levels

of limitations in the society. Some may be lucky, many may be unlucky about that. We
should be pliable and use our common sense. We are not for freedom. Freedom is for us. It can be achieved by many means. For instance, the same soldier does not care for UNCONDITIONAL happiness and harmlessness, perhaps that itself becomes freedom for him to act. Otherwise he becomes bound and tied up. I myself worked for the

Government for 14 long years in a very lucrative position. My major breakthroughs,

including full blown awakening of Kundalini energy happened in those years. The stress around me enhanced my progress. But it was hellish. I wanted to get away from that place in spite of huge salaries I was making. I had a wife and a sibling to support. It was very late my wife joined service and supported me. At that time I was crushed

between my anguish for freedom and the pressure of duty everyday. Nor I could put out
the flame of aspiration. Any effort to do that only inflamed it million times.

45

Perhaps you have not yet suffered what kind of agony it will be. It was a maddening situation. Out of compassion for those who are trapped in this situation, I wrote those words. I don't say none 'gainfully employed' can become actually free. Perhaps 2 in 10 can do it, though AF is potentially able to work 100%. For instance, my own daughter, 32, who is in the NORMAL RUT of life, DID THAT, she became actually free, which is authenticated by Richard himself in his Mailing List- D of Jan.2012. You have mistaken my stance . I speak the general situation of the society. Already I found some have become frustrated with Richard that he has not delivered the

goods, and feel he has conned them. They try to label AF as a cult. I have to voice myself
that Richard is a genuine person, and AF is not a cult. I did a sort of peace-maker job. Thanks for your apologies. You have the FIRE. You are sure to do it. But let us also be considerate and compassionate to our colleagues.

46

E n t h u s i a s t : Is it that the ordinary life and work interrupt the momentum of contact with actuality? J u s t i n e : Yes. The energy levels of work and ordinary life, and that of the momentum of contact with Actuality, very much vary. If you unfortunately happen to be under the ruling and irksome pressure of a dull and glum person being your boss, for some, (I don't say for all), it can become hellish, tortuous and unbearable. A work spot means, freedom is mortgaged for a payment. Obedience is the first rule there. The local rules may be felt severe by some people, who

are in an advanced state of Purity, egolessness, naivity, in a way released inwardly.

Because society in general still suffers corruption, injustice, local politics, and so many social evils sprayed everywhere. A refined person may find it all too much to bear. Again, I don't say this is so for all, but for some persons.

47

Mans own cruelty to another human is unbelievable. No theory satisfies than Richards, that Humanity is under the slavery of instinctive passions called fear, desire, nurture and aggression.

It is said, this is a dog eat dog, and man eat man society. Instinctual passions!

World Teachers and Mahatmas have certainly failed to bring peace to this world. Richards message gives more hope towards that.

Has Richard succeeded to bring peace to this toiling world? Time alone will tell that.

Individually we can say, Richard and his associates have found Peace, Happiness and
Harmlessness, for sure.

48

Why the Infinite allows this much cruelty in Humanity still remains a mystery.

I have never met or written any Mail to Richard before myself becoming free. Everything
I learnt from his website. This I guarantee, anyone can do so. His personal meeting is not at all necessary. But when I met him in person the process got accelerated towards more perfection. RICHARD IS AN ENIGMA. I thank Mother Nature for having made me to come across him.

JUSTINES

MEMOIRS ON ACTUAL FREEDOM

PART - I