Ozlahoma

Act 1
SCENE 1 Olizabeth enters with her potato sack over her shoulder and her friend Gary the groundhog following close behind. She moves slowly as she picks potato plant after potato. It looks like very difficult work. Olizabeth(O) 1935. Oklahoma city, Oklahoma. The depression is depressing. Families that have lived on the plains for years are pulling up, packing up, and leaving for the cities faster than ever before. It will only be a matter of time before everyones gone for good. Ugh! This is terrible Gary! How much longer will it be until Ma n Pa finally sell this place and move to the city? Gary looks nervous as he nudges closer to Oliz. Oh dont worry Gary, Id never leave you behind. Id train you how to wear a leash. There has to be something more to life than pulling potatoes. I want to be a journalist. I want to explore the world. To see what there is out there. Im on the edge of somethinggreatwonderfulglorious! If only I could find the way there. There aint no reason you and I should be alone tonight Oh Gary, tonight oh Gary Should we just pack our bags and start the journey home tonight? Is there a world existing on the otherside, there might oh Gary, there might oh Gary You want to visit? Well Im sure it is a bumby ride There must be more in store Beyond the dusty shore I swear Id walk right to, to the edge with you And if we jump Ill hold your hand Im on the edge of glory and Im hanging on a moment of truth Were on the edge of glory and Im hanging on a moment with you Im on the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge the edge the edge the edge Out on the edge of glory and Im hanging on a moment with you Do you feel that? The barometric pressure has changed, ouch my sinuses. Skies sure got dark quickly. The wind is picking up (picking up her stuff) Ok Gary, its time to go home. OH MYT-t-t-t-tornado!! Ok ok, dont panic youre only 20 minutes from home, just run fast, so what if youre in the middle of a field, its only a tornadowith a house in it! Gary, I think were going in. Olizabeth and Gary enter the twister and hold on for their lives. Upon landing they discover themselves in a very different place and Gary discovers something about himself too.

O Wow, nothing broken, not one cut, bruise, scrape! Not even a patch of dry skin. Breaking news-young girl-no, Brave girl picked up by huge tornado-And Survives! Oh Gary, I knew we were on the edge of something! I just knew it! Gary? Gary where are you? Oh Gary are you ok? Talk to me Gary, speak to me!! Napoleon(Nap) Oh, Im feeling a little bit dizzy. That was quite ride for a groundhog you know. Ive never been in a twister before. Nor do I ever wish to be again! O What did you say? Nap Nor do I ever wish to be again. O Gary! You just opened your mouth and youyou spoke. Perfect English too. Nap I did nothing of the sort, why Ive never been able to speakoh my gosh! I spoke! My voice, I have a voice! Ahhhhhhh! O Gary this is wild! Can I have an exclusive interview? Grounded: The Dogged life of Gary. Nap Actually my name isnt Gary. O Im sorry Gary I meanwhat is your name? Nap Napoleon Burrowdig, Esquire.

O It is a pleasure to meet you Napoleon Burrowdig esquire, but for expedience, can I call you Leon? Nap Sure! Suddenly there are voices off stage. They sound like theyve been having a wonderful time at a party. It turns out to be a group of five muchkins. Mun1 I still cant believe a house dropped right on top of old Talon

Mun2 Ah she had it coming for weeks! She foreclosed on my munchkinhaus. Mun3 And on my puffy dress store. Mun4 She laid off half the workers at the yellow brick factory. Mun5 Well Ding Dong! The wicked witch is dead. All Ozma! (kiss the sky) Mun1 Well Im exhausted. First the house. Mun2 Then the girl. Mun3 Then Glinda, good olwitch of the north Mun4 Then the party! Mun5 Then! THE PARADE!!!

All Follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road, follow follow follow follow, follow the yellow brick road! Hahahahahaha! Mun1 That poor little thing. Mun2 We have no idea where that road actually goes! They all start laughing and carrying on. Olizabeth has heard enough. She jumps up and confronts the munchkins. O

How can you be laughing when a poor little girl may be lost and in trouble somewhere in this, apparently, foreign country! Nap Yeah! Mun3 Its another girl! Another girl, from Kansas! O I am not from Kansas. Kansas is the kissing cousin state. Im from Oklahoma. Nap Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains. Mun4 Oklahoma? Never heard of it. O Nevermind all that. Can you tell me where I am? Mun5 Well Oklahoma, youre in the wonderful land of Oz. And youre too late for the party. Mun1 We are all lolli-popped and l lulla-byed! Were going home.

Mun2 Good luck Mun3 Have fun Mun4 Watch out for witches! O Witches? The munchkins exit while the monster general and Gagaga enter. Monster General (Alejandro) (MG) I told you we would be late my mistress. Gagaga(GGG)

I just wanted my outfit to be perfect. MG Well, Dorothy is gone, with the shoes, and there is no finding her now. GGG I know. Those shoes are magic. O Excuse me, can I ask you a few questions? GGG Ugh, Im your biggest fan Ill follow you until you love me, paparazzi. Yes? O Can you please tell whats going on here? Im very far from home and feeling a little lost. As Gagaga explains what has happened, a pantomime of the events occurs introducing the characters mentioned. GGG The foreign press, how bourgeoisie. Well in the last hour or so, a house has fallen out of sky onto my sisters head. It is not looking good. Then a Dorothy emerged from the house and stole my sisters magic shoes. Then my other sister, Glinda, sent Dorothy off on a colourful adventure to meet the wizard MG I hate that guy. GGG But not before my other sister, Talia showed up to claim the shoes, which, should traditionally pass to me. anyway, long story short, I missed them. All thats left of my magical shoes is one bow. Here, wear it in your hair. Little good it will do you. O Thats a great story, and Im sorry you lost your favourite shoes, but can you please help me find my way home? My name is Olizabeth and Im from Oklahoma, this is Napoleon, my friend, and any assistance you can give would be appreciated. GGG Um, go that way. O What will I find that way? MG She said that way! O

Come on Leon, lets go. Nap How rude. What a witch. SCENE 2 The figure that was crushed by the house begins to stir. With great effort she lifts the house off of her and crawls out from the wreckage. She lets out a scream. WE I cant believe it. A house? A house! Is that the best you could come up with? Ive never been so upset in all my life. And look what has happened to this beautiful face! What a tragedy this is. Oh well, at least I still have my greatest prize, my greatest love in all the world, the power of the ruby slippers. Ahhh, my shoes, my shoes! Oh my babies. There is still a chance. I knew something like this would happen. Thats why I transferred the power of the shoes into the bows on the shoes! No one would suspect a thing. Everyone will be searching for the shoes, when the bows are the real prize! Bows! Oh bows. I put a spell on you cause youre mine you better give me back the shoes I aint lyin No I aint lyin I cant stand it Youre runnin around I cant stand it when youre not around. I put a spell on you Because youre mine Power of the ancient land, return the shoes unto my hand Whomever holds them, man or beast Bring them back, return them east. Its not working. What wrong with me. My power. Its this broken head I love you I want you I need you back on my feet A change of top will make my look complete My spell has just begun The world is mine!! SCENE 3 Olizabeth and Leon continue on their journey. They come upon a lone figure, staring at a pole in the middle of a field.

O Another person, finally. Im going to ask them for help. Nap But what if shes like those munchkins or that witch? They were no help at all. O Well you never know until you ask right? Excuse me, pardon me, can I ask you something. Oh youre a clown! How funny. Say, what were you looking at? Chi-Chi(CC) I was looking at that pole. Wondering what it was.

O Well, it looks like a pole that a scarecrow would go on. I guess the farmer hasnt put him up yet. CC Oh. I thought it might be a grave post of some great fallen dragon, or giant. O Well thats kinda morbid. Anyway, Im really lost and looking for some help in finding my way home. CC Sorry, Im lost too. I cant help you. O Darn. Well, can you at least make me laugh a little, Im feeling kinds blue. CC Make you laugh? O Yeah! Do a trick, or say something funny. CC Nice dress, you must be really poor. O Hey, that wasnt very nice. CC Your muskrat is really cute. Or is that just a rat? Nap

Why you little O Now listen, we dont have to hang around here to be insulted by you. Wheres your sense of humour? Be a clown! CC Be a clown? Did you just say be a clown? Thats what everyone says to me. My friends, my family! Be clown, be a clown, wheres your sense of humour? I dont have one.

O You dont have a sense of humour? CC You sound just like papa clown back in clown town. O Clown town? CC A big tent on the outskirts of town. All the clowns live there. I dont fit in with any of my family or friends. I dont find anything funny about them. In fact they kind of scare me. O A clown whos afraid of clowns. Fascinating. CC And all I ever hear from everyone is be a clown, have a sense of humour. Well Im sorry. Its not me. I just cant. Be a clown, be a clown, All the world loves a clown. Act a fool, play the calf, And you bet you will have the last laugh. Dye your hair, paint your nose Buy some shoes too big for your toes Without a sense of humour, folks'll face you with dread, Without a sense of humour, theyll be after your head Without a sense of humour, youd be better off dead Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown. O I think you should just be yourself Be a clown, be a clown, I dont mind if you frown. So your edges are rough

Its ok because you are enough. You are my only friend Will you follow me to the end? CC Ill follow you down roads of grey and roads that are sunny, As long as you dont mind that I am not very funny , Im here for you, youre there for me, I know that I can Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown. CC My name is Chi-Chi. O Im Olizabeth CC Can I just call you Olive. O Of course. And this is Napoleon. Nap Pleasure to make your acquaintance. CC Wow. You really smell terrible. Suddenly there is a flourish of music. The clowns have come to town in there clown car to convince their wayward daughter to return to clown town. CC Oh no. Not them. Anyone but them. O Who? CC My family. Papa Clown Chi-Chi! Weve been looking all over for you. Mama Clown Where have you been?

Clown1 We missed you! Clown2 We think of you all the time! Clown3 Just the thought of you makes us laugh! Clown4 Honk honk honk! (with bike horn) Papa clown Oh I see you have a new friend. Mama clown Oooh, a new friend, do you like to laugh? Clown1 You must like to laugh Clown2 You like pie? Clown3 Oh no this chicken is attacking me! Clown4 Honk honk honk. CC Ok everyone, you can move on. Ok thanks, youve been wonderful but go home. Im going with Olive on an adventure and I leave you all behind. Thanks everyone, remember me fondly. Come on Olive, lets get out of here. Papa Clown Alright then, but you should be a clown All clowns Be a clown be a clown be a clown.

CC Sorry about all that. O It fine, no worries. So, were you serious about coming along on the journey?

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CC No. I want to see you fail. O Ah, oh right, no sense of humour. That will take some getting used to. Nap Tell me about it. CC Of course I want to join you. Im your only friend remember? O You sure? We dont know where were going. CC No worries Im on the edge of glory And Im hanging on a moment with you Both Were on the edge of glory Together we can all see it through All Were on the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge. Were on the edge of glory CC Theres no telling what three friends couldnt do. Im on the edge with you. They all exit as the Tins enter and strike a pose

SCENE 4 The Tins are standing perfectly frozen. They have rusted that way. Olizabeth and company find them in this state and investigate. O Wow, these statues are the most amazing things Ive ever seen. They must have stuff like this in Oklahoma City. Fine art. CC I think they look like zombies.

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Nap Its very intriguing. People made of metal. Alumina(Alu) (with closed mouth) Im made of aluminum. O Did that statue just mumble? Abigrill(Abi) Yes we just mumbled. Would you please find our spare oil? O These are real people, their eyes are moving. There must be some oil or something around here. See if you can find some. The company searches for the oil. CC finds it. CC I guess I found the oil. O & Alu Bring it over here. Nap I would start with the mouth. Maybe they can give us some information. They apply some oil to the mouth of Alumina and Abigrill. Slowly they get to talking. Alu Oh thats much better, thank you. Abi I told it was a bad idea to just wait. Alu Oh you had no idea at all. Abi Oh yes I did. They argue. O

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Ok break it up. Quiet please. What are your names? Alu My name is Alumina. Abi And Im Abigrill! Cute eh? Alu What are you folks doing out here in this part of the forest? O Well, my friends and I are looking for some information and possibly directions. Weve had some problems getting a straight answer around this place. Abi Hey, weve got problems of our own, unless youre blind and cant see. CC We are blind. Abi Oh Im, sorry. CC No, Im just joking. Alu Thats not very funny. CC I know. Alu Listen, perhaps we can help you, but would you be so kind as to grease me up some more? Abi Do you know how long weve been frozen here? Nap How long? Abi I dont know. I was hoping you might. O

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Well that seems like long enough. How can I help? Alu The oil can sweetie. Just aim and squirt. Just start with my arms Yeah it feels right Now aim for my heart Yes I have one Im starting to move, Im feeling the groove Im lovin the crude Abi- Hey pass me the oil Ive been waiting to put on a show Now I make it You say I'm a kid I done what I did Yeah thats what I said And it goes like this [Chorus:] Both- My arms and my legs start moving My neck and my hips are grooving When I move I stagger When I move I stagger When I move I stagger Alu Help me with my elbows honey Abi Help me with my knees now Mama Both When we move we stagger When we move we stagger When we move we stagger Alu Oh, Im feeling much better now, much better. What a relief. Abi Youre telling me! I feel like Princess Ozma before she disappeared. Alu

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Sometimes it's hard When you feel like you're broken and scarred Nothing feels right Abi But when you're with me I'll make you believe We move but we squeak Alu Were looking for Tim Hes my husband, he left on a whim all because we needed to move we all lost the groove Abi It sucked major shmoove Alu Hey dont talk like that its incredibly rude Abi Oh mom, get over it. My ankles and wrists are moving Alu My glides and my turns are grooving Both when we move we stagger yeah, when we move we stagger when we move we stagger Alu Now what was it we could help you with? O Im trying to find my way home to Oklahoma, USA Alu Never heard of it. But were on a bit of a search ourselves, Maybe we could join you? Abi Id help ya in anyway I can.

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O It might be dangerous Nap It might be boring CC It might be hard to sleep with Olives awful snoring O But we are standing, on an edge of glory Alu & Abi Together we will write the story. All My arms and my legs are moving My neck and my hips are grooving When we move we stagger When you move you stagger When we move we stagger. Meanwhile some flying monkeys have come into the scene sneakily preluding the entrance of the Witch of the West. WW So, the rumours are true. There is another little girl from a strange land romping around Oz. Who are you, and your prairie dog too? O I take it, another witch. My name is Olizabeth, Im from Oklahoma, USA. This is Napoleon, Chi-Chi, Alumina and Abigrill. And who are you? WW Never mind who I am. It doesnt matter. All I know is I dont like the look of you and your little group. There are far too many little groups of strange people roaming around. I ought to put a spell on you right here and now! WN (off-stage) Now that wouldnt be very nice. WW Not you again! Do you follow me around or what? WN No, I got lost to tell you the honest truth. But I still think its wrong of you to chase these poor little innocent girls around the countryside. It just isnt right.

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WW You dont have a say in it Glinda. You can keep your cute, button nose out of it. I will get back those shoes before you can get your grubby hands on them. Youll see. You will all see! Aha hahahaha! WN Oh, isnt she cute.

O Excuse me, maybe you can help us. Im looking for Oklahoma USA. Can you please help us? WN UmOklahoma? It would be better if it was called Ozlahoma! OlPrincess Ozma wouldve liked that name. Nap Thats the second time Ive heard that name mentioned. Who is Ozma? WN Oh, poor little Ozma CC She disappeared without a trace. O Enough about Ozma. Ive disappeared without a trace! Can you point me in the right direction of some assistance? NW Umthat way! O Thanks. Come on guys. NW Good luck, take care. Oh the foolish little thing. Shes headed for monster land. Scene 5 We find ourselves in Monster land. It is an awful place, full of moaning and wailing. The monster general enters to get things in order. MG Ok settle down, settle down all of you. As you know, our mistress has been in a very bad mood as of late, so we should do everything in our power to make her feel good again. Any ideas?

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MON1 Sacrifice a baby? MG No no, we did that last Tuesday. Mon2 Eat a feast of worms and snakes! MG Wednesday. Mon3 Chase munchkins for amusement? MG Thursday. Mon4 Frighten old ladies? MG Perfect! We begin tomorrow! The monsters celebrate. Olizabeth and company enter. MG Halt! Who goes there? O My name Nap is Olizabeth, I am Napoleon. CC I am Chi-Chi. Alu Im Alumina Abi And Im Abigrill. Got it?

MG

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Do you know where you are? The group is confused. O Weve been lost since we got here. MG Well, you are in the south. You are in monster land! The group is frightened. All but Chi-Chi CC Hey where are all the monsters? Are you the monsters? Well, you guys are nothing. Im a creepy clown and I will haunt your dreams forever! Chi-Chi scares the monsters, they run around but are finally held back by the Tins and put into submission. MG What is it you want? Why did you bring a clown to the south? We hate clowns. All Monsters Hate clowns O This clown is very nice. Were all very nice. All I want is to know what this OZ place is and whats going on!! MG I think our mistress would be better to tell you that. O Your mistress, yes! The one who gave me the bow. Who is she? Where is she? MG Its Gagaga Its Gagaga Its Gagaga Its Gagaga

GGG Id like to tell you all about the land of OZ It is a crazy place because, because, because Weve got a wizard who is sitting on the throne Which leaves the witches and the citizens alone

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Mons Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh. GG We get him hot Weve got what he wants Mons Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh GGG I get him hot Because I have got Magical, mystical, Ive got fantastical powers girl MG Shes got the magic power GGG With a wave of my hand youll see me turn the wizard into stone. MG Shes got the magic power Mons The the witch of the south, the witch of the south The the witch of the south, the witch of the south GGG (spoken) When Oz was first created, it was divided into four With four sister witches presiding over the four countries And for years and years the Princess Ozma ruled over Emerald City. MG Till she disappeared GGG Well the witches decided to concentrate the magic of Oz into a pair of ruby slippers And every one hundred years, the sisters would pass the shoes To the next in line. Well Witches cant wait their turn and my sister to the west MG

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Shes wicked, oh so wicked GGG Has her eyes the shoes, well I think you know the rest. MG In the darkness makes her moves Mons The the witches of Oz The witches of Oz x2 GGG Remember this child. There are witches good and bad O Which is which? GGG Give me a chance and I will tell you. O Are you bluffin? GGG Im not bluffin, wanna leave the south with nothing? Make your way to emerald city Though the path is truly gritty And the wizard is a charlatan He can help you to get home again

O Thank you witch of the south I may find my way home again GGG Follow the path before you. Though the journey is rough With your friends youre bound to win. The Emerald City is that way. All Thanks Gagaga, thanks witch of the south etc.

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The company leaves together, finally feeling good about their chances. MG Well, now that that is all settled mistress, we have a surprise for you. GGG I love surpirses MG We are going to frighten old ladies!! GGG Oh Alejandro, you know how to make me happy! Old ladies, here we come!!! SCENE 6 In the dark forest Tigra and Beezus make their way along the path. They both have large bags filled with various spoils. These two are a pair of highway bandits and are very good at what they do. Tigra(Tig) Today was the slowest day ever. Not one person has come through the woods! Beezus(Bee) Maybe we could just take the day off tomorrow and find some honey to snack upon? Or a nice juicy mushroom. Or a garbage dump! Tig No! Whats the matter with you? We cant take a day off. We can never take a day off. Havent you heard the rumour? Bee (very frightened) What rumour? Tig The rumour that if we take a day off, the wizardwill send hundreds of Emerald birds to attack us in our sleep. Bee Oh no, I never want that to happen. Lets never take a day off Tig Thats better. Besides, what would I do without my tough, old friend Beezus by my side? Id never be able to carry the stuff weve stolenborrowed, all by myself. Bee Youre right Tigra. Youve always been the smart one.

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Tig Thank you. And youve always been the strong one. Bee Thank you. Tig Any Lion would be fool to challenge us! We would put him in his place just like the last one we met. They both laugh and do an impression of the Cowardly Lion. They can hear a quiet chant coming through the woods. Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my. Tig Quiet. Oooh today hasnt been a waste after all! You ready to work? Bee Im ready! The two prepare for the great bamboozal, as the friends and Olizabeth enter. Tig Why good evening weary travelers. My name is Tigra, and this is the gentle Beezus. Can we offer you a rest? Bee Perhaps a little something to eat? O Oh no! We read a sign before we came into the woods. Beware! CC Lions Alu And tigers Abi And bears Nap Oh my. O And you are, in fact, a tiger and a bear. Tig A sign? Ohthat sign. Thats an old sign. It was put there as a joke, forour

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Bee Birthday? Tig For our birthday! Thats right. Besides, do you see any Lions around? CC Im laying around. Tig & Bee Thats not funny.

O Listen. It is late, Ive weve been walking all day. I am tired and hungry and starting to lose my patience. We are finally on the right track and I wont allow two, questionable hostesss to ruin that. Tig Oh you poor things. You really need to rest. Youre sounding a bit Bee Stressed Tig Relax, take a load off Tig You look frenzied Bee You look frazzled Tig Peaked as any alp Bee Flushed and rushed and razzle-dazzled Tig Dry your lips Bee Damp your scalp

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Tig Now I can see you're in a rut in Bee Disarray And I'm not one to butt in Tig But in fact I must say Bee If you take it easy Tig Trust awhile Bee Don't look blue Tig Don't look back Bee You'll pull through in just awhile Both 'Cause you're on the right track On the right track/take it easy On the right track/take it easy On the right track/take it easy On the right track/take it easy Tig and Bee start to pick the pockets of the travelers. There isnt very much to take. Tig Youre doing fine friends. Just look out into that bright future. Bee Or up into that beautiful tree, for inspiration Tig Theres no trick to staying sensible Bee Despite each cul-du-sac Tig

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Cause each steps indispensable Both & CC When youre on, the right track. On the right track On the right track On the right track On the right track O Hey! Are you stealing from us? Tig Umuhuswell Bee Stealing? Alu Hey where is my spare oil? Abi And my purse! Tig You have to understand, its hard out here for a Tiger and Bear. O Its hard out here for everyone you see. Were all lost, and alone Give us back our stuff and then youll be Coming along Tig Coming along? Company Yes join in the song Bee Were coming along! Oh thank you, thank you, thank you. O Tigra, Beezus. We are going to the Emerald City! Bee

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I know the way! I know the way! Youre on the right track!

Scene 7 The witch of the east makes her way onto the stage. She is obviously exhausted. WE I dont remember the trip being so long and horrible. Oh yes, no shoes and a broken head make Talon an angry witch. The witch of the West enters, angry. WW Talon! Talon! Oh my, what happened to your face? Oh yes, the house ahahahah! WE What do you want Talia? Im in the middle of something. WW oh, I was just wondering how you lived through all that trauma. Also, do you know anything about the shoes? WE I know that they arent on my feet anymore. I also know that if you were to find them you would return them to me, right? WW Oh of course I would. What are sisters for? WN You know very well you wouldnt return them Talia. You are a wicked sister. WW Not you again. Glinda enters WN Look at you Talon. What happened to your face? Oh yes, the house hehe WE Listen, both of you. Get out of my sight. Where were you when I was under a house? Why did you give that Dorothy my shoes? MY SHOES!! Both witches are speechless.

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WE Ive left you speechless, so speechless! Ha ha. Now be gone! Im trying to change my head! WW Fine fine, do what you must. But Im keeping my eye on you. Both of you. WN Eewwuuu. Changing your head, gross. WE Finally. Minions! The witch of the east locates her magic book and begins flipping through it. She also summons her minions to bring in the head case. WE Put the head cases here and here. Set them up and prepare to be amazed. Now, what page is that spell on? Hhmm. Transforming gold into hair, transforming frogs into princes, transforming houses into featherscouldve used that one. Ah ha! The old head switch spell. I'm switching my head, tonight never will I die anymore Im switching my head, tonight cause this one is a terrible bore W-w-w-Witch of the w-w-w-witch of the w-w-w-witch of the east Oh-w-w-Witch of the w-w-w-witch of the w-w-w-witch of the east Open your eyes to the light Head 2 My, youre a terrible sight WE If a house fell on you tell me what would you do Head Id avoid it. WE Are you ready to change into the queen of the strange?

Head Tell me how could you lose my fabulous shoes? What a loser. Im gonna make it alright

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WE Im gonna make it alright [Chorus] Power of the ancient land, replenish me I do command As I replace my head with hers, we finally undo the curse Magic east, oh magic east My true potential, now released! The transformation begins. We see one head taken off and the other replace it. WE(Tia) Im back at full strength, tonight The shoes will be returning to me Im back at full strength, for life The land of Oz is going to see Both W-w-w-Witch of the w-w-w-witch of the w-w-w-witch of the east Oh-w-w-Witch of the w-w-w-witch of the w-w-w-witch of the east I cant believe how good I feel. And look! Hahaha The scene now changes. As the head cases are removed the walls of the Emerald City appear, with Pylo and Sandy in position. Scene 8 The whole company finally arrives at the Emerald City, but they cant find an open gate. They enter looking into the sky at some sky writing that has faded away with the wind Abi surf edge robotas

Nap No it clearly says supreme planet Alu Looks like serpentine destiny to me. Tig Serpentine destiny? Whats that supposed to mean? Bee

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Looks like squiggles and then donut CC I bet it says Surrender Dorothy ahahahaha Everyone looks at CC O Regardless of what it says, there are no open gates to the emerald city. Were stuck out here. Outside the wall Nap All in all its just a-nother brick in the wall Abi Bleagh what a stink! What is this place? Bee Its a garbage dump! Hooorararyayyyry!! Beezus runs towards the heap of trash and starts digging in, but before long there is a shriek of pain. Pylo Hey hey stop that hey stop that, cant you see that arm is important to me. hey arent any of you responsible for this beast? Tig UmI amresponsible for this bear. Pylo Cant you see shes eating my arm Tig Beezus. Stopreally, stopwell eat soon I promise.

Pylo Thank you. So kind. Not from around here? O Is it that obvious? Im guessing youre a pile of Emerald City garbage? Pylo Is it that obvious? Say, did someone say they were hungry? Well, Pylo is here to please. Everyone reacts with favour and Pylo starts looking through bags, offering various scraps of garbage to the hungry party.

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O We cant eat garbagemost of us cant eat garbageI cant eat garbage. Pylo Now lets seehhmmdo you have any nuts to spare Sandy? Sandy No. Nuts are all gone. Pylo Nuts. Sorrymiss? O Olizabeth. From Oklahoma. Pylo Im Pylo. Pylo Trash. This is Sandy. Sandy Id shake your hand, but Im a tree. Pylo We happily live on the outside of the Emerald City. No one bothers us here. Its just me and my tree, and all the little beasties living in the pile. Life is good. Bee How are you so optimistic? Pylo Me and Sandy learned our outlook on life from an old friend. Sandy He used to be stylist to the Princess Ozma. All of his fashions and visions were ahead of his time. Pylo He could take an eyelash and create a ponytail. He could turn a boring old donkey into a horse of many colours! His name was Toots, the Munchkin Elder. Its like I can hear his voice now Toots Honey. Look at you, whats wrong with you? You should wear more red. Toots enters and strikes a pose. Pylo and Sandy are very pleased to see him! Everyone but Olizabeth is getting sleepy from the feast.

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Pylo Welcome back Toots, we were just telling our new friends about you. Toots New friends? Let me look at them. (he gives them all a rating) Honeys, youre bootiful. Look at you, great lines, lovely blue dress, and a precious bow. I love it honey. You were formed this way. Pylo You were formed this way. Sandy You were formed this way. O I was what? Pylo It doesnt matter if youre a girl or a dog or a broom Sandy Just put you limbs up Toots Cause you were formed this way honey. Pylo A seagull told me when I was young I would never be a star He ate my arm and then he flew away Never going very far. Theres nothing wrong with loving who you are Even though your just a bag One day that seagull, he came back again And on a sandwich he did gag

Im beautiful in some ways Cause Oz makes no mistakes Im on the right track Baby I was formed this way Dont hold yourself in regret Just love yourself and your set Youre on the right track baby I was formed this way.

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Pylo, Sandy, Toots Ooh there aint no other way People you were formed this way Company Baby we were formed this way All Ooh there aint no other way Baby I was formed Im on the right track baby I was formed this way. Sandy Dont be a fish just be a tree Dont be a bird just be a tree Dont be a dog just be a tree Just be a tree Give me a pruning And love your leaves Tell me what youre thinking Toots. Toots It doesnt matter if youre oak or elm Just love your bark and love your roots. Sandy When I was little, I knew a squirrel He was really friendly but, While I was sleeping he would always come He ran away with all my nuts! Everyone Im beautiful in some ways Cause Oz makes no mistakes Im on the right track Baby I was formed this way Dont hold yourself in regret Just love yourself and your set Youre on the right track baby I was formed this way. Toots Dont be a drag, just be a queen

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Whether youre trash or evergreen A clown, some tin a giant bear A girl, a rat and tiger there I like your style The way you move You folks have put me in the mood Rejoice and love yourselves today Cause baby, you were formed this way. O Im really liking it here Though its a pain in the rear With my friends beside me I wont have any fear Toots Just close your eyes, go to sleep Sandy I hope your sleeps very deep Pylo Just rest your heads and bodies safe and sound on the heap Whole Company Im beautiful in some ways Cause Oz makes no mistakes Im on the right track Baby I was formed this way Dont hold yourself in regret Just love yourself and your set Youre on the right track baby I was formed this way. Repeat to the end Ozma Im on the right track baby, I was formed this way.

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Act 2
Scene 1

The group are sleeping like they were at the end of act 1. The Ballet of the South is performed by Ozma and Dorothy and various cast members. It tells the story of what has happened so far and ends with Ozma revealing to Olizabeth to go west. The end of this scenes lead directly into Scene 2 The group meet the not too clever guards of the west. Guard 1 Halt! Who goes there? Guard 2 Shhh. Not to loudly, it may reveal our position. G1 Our position? Were right in front of them. G2 Well they dont know that. G1 Sure they do. G2 Oh right. Who goes there? Bee Who wants to know? G1 That was you, wasnt it? (indicating G2) G2 Me? Couldnt be. G1 Well you cant be here.

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O Why? G2 Because! G1 Yeah! G2 Because the witch master has kidnapped Dorothy and is holding her in her tower. G1 Shhh. Thats a secret G2 Did you hear that? Its a secret so keep quiet. G1 And dont even think you can rescue her, unless you stole our uniforms and snuck in. G2 But dont bother, cause now we know your plans. G1 And dont even imagine that you can kill the witch. Unless of course you throw water on her. G2 That will kill her. But dont say anything, its a secret. Winged monkeys enter much like before. Abi Hey what are those winged monkeys doing? G1 They are going to attack you and kidnap your girl friend. G2 But dont tell anyone. Its a secret. Here they are!! The monkeys attack and carry Olizabeth off. The rest of the party chase off after her as the guards laugh.

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Scene 3 The stage is empty. We hear a singing in the darkness. It is joined by another voice, and then another. Finally there are four voices singing in harmony and the witches enter. GGG Its nice to see the song of the sisters still works. WN I love that song. I always have. WW Why have we been called? WE Because it has come to our attention that you have kidnapped Dorothy GGG by means of winged monkey WE And are currently holding her captive in your castle in the west. WW So what? She is a trespasser! WN Its because she has the shoes, silly billy! WW And theyll be mine I tell you! I deserve to have them. What have you done to deserve them? What have any of you done? You and your monsters. There is nothing scary about them. You and your head switching! You should have stayed under that house. And you. YOU! I have nothing to say to you. Now get lost, the shoes are mine now. WN You are a fool my dear, but them broken dreams have got to end.

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You should know better than to turn you back on your sisters.

GGG Whether you like it or not, you cant live without us.

WE And whether we like it or not , we cant live without you. So woman, you got the blues, cos' you ain't got a clue how to use the shoes. You can take to the sky that but leads nowhere, cause youre just making miles in the open air.

WN There's a hole in your head where the rain comes in, You took Dorothy and played to win,

All Ha Ha WN Woman it's a crying shame, But you ain't got nobody else to blame. All E-evil Woman, E-evil Woman, E-evil Woman, Stupid Woman

WW She rolled in from another town, it took a house but she took you down, See a fool and her slippers soon go separate ways, Pretty in pink, livin in a daze, Ha Ha sisters what you gonna do, You destroyed all the chances that Ive given you, It's so delicious that you're feeling pain, Now I ban you from the west dont show your faces again. Witches of the East, North and South E-evil Woman, E-evil Woman, E-evil Woman, Evil Woman

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Scene 4

To discuss with the cast.

How the West was Won At the end of this scene Olizabeth faints from exhaustion.
Scene 5 Eugene- There's never been a better time to start in lifeSandy - It ain't too early and it aint too late! Eldar- Start telling stories all about our lives Bunny- What an incredible book youll write! All -Book youll writeWW- Better get it right! CC- You taught me that a clown doesnt need a sense of humour, Beez- Taught me to trust my instinct, dont put my faith in rumours Abi- How to be good and not so bad, Alu- How to be patient with the things I have, Tig- How to be brave and start to roam Nap-Im tired and hungry, I want to go home. Ozma- OOOOz-lahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the field, Where the poppies red, will kill you dead, but a magic snow will help you heal. OOOOz-lahoma, Ev'ry night the Ozians and I, Lean on bended knee, and watch monkeys making lazy circles in the sky. You know we belong to this land And the land you belong to is grand! All- So when we say Go home to USA! We're only sayin' GGG- You're doin' fine, Oklahoma! Oklahomas O.K.! O- Ooook-lahoma, where the day is filled with joy and mirth Where you break your back To fill a sack of potatoes pulled out of the earth. Oklahoma, Ev'ry night Napoleon and I Go outside and play in the soft, warm hay As the crickets play a lullaby. We know we belong to the land

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And the land we belong to is grand! Group 1- Gotta fly Group 2- Say good bye WN- I may cry O- Please dont cry Gotta fly Well, good bye All-And when we say Ok-lahoma USA! We're only sayin' You're going home, Oklahoma! We will miss you, O.K. The following part will be alternated between OKLA and OZLA Okla-okla-Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla Okla-okla-Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla... O- We know we belong to the land And the land we belong to is grand! And when we say Yeeow! Youre off and gone away! We're only sayin' You're doin' fine, Oklahoma! Oklahoma O.K. O.K O.K Im home to stay! Im home. Were home. Lets go home. Theres no place like it.

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