SCREAMOLOGY 101 (Part One) By thorney33

Characters by Dan Harmon; concept by Kevin Williamson and Wes Craven.

thorney33@hotmail.com

SCENE ONE: GIRLS NIGHT INT. SHIRLEYS HOUSE - NIGHT The episode begins in Shirleys living room. ANNIE EDISON (Alison Brie), BRITTA PERRY (Gillian Jacobs) and SHIRLEY BENNETT (Yvette Brown) are sitting in the lounge room, drinking and eating finger food. It is night time outside, and the TV is on with a blank blue screen. SHIRLEY I have to say, its nice to get away from the boys for a night and have some fun with my favourite girls. ANNIE Awww! BRITTA Its not nice, Shirley; its liberating. Here, we can act however we want without fear of being judged based on our gender. ANNIE (wide-eyed) Really? Do we still get popcorn? BRITTA Am I the kind of person who would deny hungry movie-goers popcorn? Annie and Shirley glance at each other. Britta takes some packets out her bag in bemusement. BRITTA Am I really that much of a killjoy? ANNIE So...what are we watching, Britta? SHIRLEY Please say its something romantic. With Andre and the boys out of town I might be able to watch something I want to for once. BRITTA Romance? Pfft. You mean something that shows us how men are the centre of the universe? Tonight is about getting away from that crap.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

2.

SHIRLEY Something funny? BRITTA You mean something demeaning and bigoted? SHIRLEY Something racy, and sassy? BRITTA You mean sexualising? Please. ANNIE (sarcastically) What does that leave, then? A documentary on lesbians with well paid jobs and no boobs? BRITTA (evilly) Something scary. Britta grins and takes a movie out of her handbag; it is the original Scream. SHIRLEY Oh, no, no, no. I do not do scary movies, Britta. BRITTA Come on, Shirley...its Halloween in a few days! SHIRLEY And its going to be Christmas in a few months; you gonna start going to Church, atheist? ANNIE Calm down! Its just a movie. SHIRLEY Nuh-huh. ANNIE Please? Just give it a chance; this is supposed to be a girls night, remember? Shirley looks at Annie, who appears just as scared as she does, and sighs.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

3.

SHIRLEY Fine. Cant say no to those puppy dog eyes. Britta puts the movie in and the movie begins with CASEY BECKER (Drew Barrymore) picking up the phone. [CASEY] Hello? [GHOSTFACE] Hello. [CASEY] Yes? [GHOSTFACE] Who is this? SHIRLEY Star 69 his ass, girl! ANNIE Shh! [CASEY] Who are you trying to reach? [GHOSTFACE] What number is this? SHIRLEY Its the number you dialled, jackass. BRITTA Shirley! [CASEY] Well, what number are you trying to reach? [GHOSTFACE] I dont know. [CASEY] Well, I think you have the wrong number. [GHOSTFACE] Do I?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

4.

[CASEY] It happens. Take it easy. SHIRLEY Id take you easy. BRITTA Can we just watch the movie?! SHIRLEY What is that supposed to mean? Britta leans across and pauses the movie. BRITTA No offence, but maybe some stereotypes hold true! SHIRLEY You better not be calling me a stereotype, blondie! BRITTA Blondie? Last time I checked, I was almost getting a C in Psych 101. ANNIE She didnt mean it, Shirley. Shirley gets up and ejects the movie. SHIRLEY You come into my home, put on this god awful movie, and then you insult me? Maybe if you were Denzel, but Britta? No way! Shirley walks to the door and opens it, indicating for the girls to leave. BRITTA Youre kicking us out? SHIRLEY In a way, you are kicking yourself out. ANNIE But... SHIRLEY No buts! If I wanted to spend my night trying to keep my eyes closed (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

5.

SHIRLEY (contd) while wedged between two other people Id be...Britta! Britta gasps and grabs her bag, exiting quickly. Annie stands up and follows her. ANNIE That was harsh. SHIRLEY (firmly) Ill see you tomorrow, Annie. Annie leaves, and Shirley closes the door. Sighing, she makes her way to the kitchen; where she has a pie in the oven. SHIRLEY At least youre nice. Shirleys phone rings from the living room, and she exits to answer it. A shadow passes by the kitchen window. SHIRLEY (high pitched) Hello! GHOSTFACE Who is this? SHIRLEY Who are you trying to reach? GHOSTFACE I dont know. SHIRLEY I think you have the wrong number. GHOSTFACE Do I? SHIRLEY It happens. God bless! Shirley hangs up, as she walks away the phone rings again. SHIRLEY Hello?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

6.

GHOSTFACE Why dont you want to talk to me? SHIRLEY I havent even caught your name yet. GHOSTFACE You tell me your name, Ill tell you mine. SHIRLEY I dont hand my name out. Not over the phone, not on dating sites. Shirley opens the oven to take out her pie. GHOSTFACE Whats that noise? SHIRLEY Just taking out my pie. GHOSTFACE You bake? SHIRLEY Every now and then. GHOSTFACE I bet youre real good at it. SHIRLEY Oh...I dont know about that. GHOSTFACE I can tell...your raspberry pie smells delicious. Shirley puts her pie down on the bench, and steps back. SHIRLEY (shocked) What did you just say? GHOSTFACE Your pies must be delicious. SHIRLEY Thats not what you said.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: GHOSTFACE Tell me, Shirley...do you like Halloween parties? SHIRLEY This isnt funny, Britta. GHOSTFACE This isnt Britta. SHIRLEY Prove it. GHOSTFACE Britta went home ten minutes ago...Im still here. Shirley gasps, and walks back into the living room. She begins to lock the doors and windows. GHOSTFACE Whats wrong, Shirley? You look scared. SHIRLEY What are you doing? Leave me alone...or else! GHOSTFACE Or else what? SHIRLEY Or else my husband will be back, and hes big and hes black and hell kick your ass! GHOSTFACE Andres away...you cant fool me...I just want to play a game. SHIRLEY What kind of game? GHOSTFACE Turn on the patio lights.

7.

Shirley gulps and walks towards the side of her house; we see the kitchen counter is now empty. Shirley flicks a switch and looks outside; her pie is tied to a chair. SHIRLEY Oh...my pie! Shirley heads to exit the house. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

8.

GHOSTFACE I wouldnt do that if I were you! SHIRLEY I swear, if you touch that pie... GHOSTFACE I wont! All you have to do is answer a few simple questions. SHIRLEY Questions about what? GHOSTFACE Greendale Halloween parties. SHIRLEY I cant... GHOSTFACE You have no choice! SHIRLEY I trust that the Lord will watch over my pie...how is that for choice? GHOSTFACE Choices have consequences, Shirley. A figure runs past the pie outside, and Shirley spins around. A large slice has been taken from the pie, and the figure is nowhere to be seen. SHIRLEY No! GHOSTFACE Are you more willing now? SHIRLEY Fine...ask your damn question. GHOSTFACE What was Jeff Winger wearing at the Halloween party nobody remembers two years ago? SHIRLEY Jeff Winger?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

9.

GHOSTFACE Answer the question... SHIRLEY Um...uh...he went as David Beckham! GHOSTFACE Very good, Shirley...no more warm ups! Time for the real question. SHIRLEY No! You said... GHOSTFACE And the real question is...what did Jeff Winger wear to Annie Edisons Mexican Halloween party in the first year of College? SHIRLEY Again with Jeff? GHOSTFACE Answer the question... SHIRLEY Uh...I remember! Jeff came to the party dressed as a cowboy! GHOSTFACE Im sorry! Thats the wrong answer! SHIRLEY No its not! No its not! He was a cowboy! GHOSTFACE Im afraid not! No way. SHIRLEY He was a cowboy...I looked over his photos over twenty damn times! GHOSTFACE (menacing) Then you should know Jeff Winger entered the party without a costume! He only put on the cowboy outfit when he went to the faculty party...Im afraid that was a wrong answer.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

10.

SHIRLEY (beginning to get upset) You tricked me... GHOSTFACE Lucky for you theres a bonus round...but your poor pie; Im afraid its out. The figure runs across the patio again, and Shirley screams. The pie has been totally hollowed out, with filling dripping down the sides of the chair. Shirley drops to the floor in shock. GHOSTFACE Hey...were not finished yet...final question...are you ready? SHIRLEY Please...please leave me alone... GHOSTFACE Answer the question and I will. What door am I at? SHIRLEY What? GHOSTFACE There are two main doors to your house...the front door and the patio doors. Which one am I at? SHIRLEY Well...nobody is at the patio door...so you must be... The doorbell rings; Shirley yells and unlocks the patio door and backs away into her backyard. GHOSTFACE ...you should tell your friends to lock the door...this is a terrible neighbourhood. The sound of the front door opening can be heard. We see Ghostface run into the house and duck around a corner out of sight. The dial tone is heard on the phone, still in Shirleys hand.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

11.

SHIRLEY Oh, Lord...please have mercy on me... Shirley, back to the house, begins to make her way silently towards the side gate. Suddenly, the curtains fly open and Ghostface is staring at her. She falls back, shocked, as Ghostface makes his way towards the patio door. Shirley begins to look for somewhere to hide. CUT TO - EXT. SHIRLEYS HOUSE - FRONT A car pulls up opposite the house, and Britta and Annie get out, and begin to make their way to the front. CUT TO - EXT. SHIRLEYS HOUSE - BACKYARD Ghostface exits the house, and scans the backyard for Shirley. She is nowhere to be seen. Grabbing the pie remains and throwing them away in frustration, Ghostface is distracted by the sound of Britta and Annie entering the house. He runs to the side gate and flees the scene. CUT TO - INT. SHIRLEYS HOUSE BRITTA Leaving your door open in this day and age? God knows who could have walked in...rapist, murderer...God forbid, the Dean! ANNIE Remember, youre here to apologize. BRITTA Hey...do you smell that? ANNIE Uh! It wasnt even me! BRITTA Oh my non-existant God... Britta points at the open patio door, with the pie encrusted chair sitting on the patio. The two run out of the door; Britta looks up at the tree in the garden and screams. Shirley has climbed the tree and is hanging on for dear life. BRITTA Shirley!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

12.

SHIRLEY Catch me, Jesus! Shirley screams as she falls, and lands face down on the pie remains. The raspberries ooze out in a blood like fashion, and she lays there in silence. END SCENE.

13.

SCENE TWO: COURTNEY JACOBS, LOCAL PRESS EXT. GREENDALE LIBRARY - MORNING JEFF WINGER (Joel McHale) is making his way towards the door of the Library when an attractive young brunette COURTNEY JACOBS (Emma Roberts) walks up to him holding a notepad. COURTNEY Excuse me! Are you Jeff Winger? JEFF That depends on whos asking...and how old they are. COURTNEY Courtney Jacobs; local paper. Ive got a few questions about what happened to your friend Shirley... JEFF Ah, this is awkward. I make a habit out of avoiding local press. COURTNEY You dont need to be shy, Jeff. JEFF Trust me kitten, Im not. Id just hate to see my name and glorious face associated with this place on paper forever. COURTNEY Dont you think you owe the readers the truth about what happened last night? JEFF The truth? Heres your headline Housewife falls out of tree; innocent pie-stander killed. Jeff begins to walk away. COURTNEY I think theres more to this story! JEFF You want an exciting story? Youve come to the wrong place, trust me. Jeff enters the library, and Courtney walks away annoyed. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

14.

CUT TO - INT. STUDY ROOM Jeff enters the study room and sits down. The group is sitting in their regular places, with the notable absence of Abed. PIERCE HAWTHORNE (Chevy Chase) and TROY BARNES (Donald Glover) seem deep in discussion; while Britta and Annie sit silently in thought. Everyone goes quiet as Jeff sits down. JEFF Geez...who died? ANNIE Jeff! Dont say the d word. JEFF What are you talking about? She fell out of a tree...its not like she was murdered. There is a collective gasp, and Jeff rolls his eyes. ANNIE You didnt see her at hospital... BRITTA She looked like death. TROY It was like looking at Pierce. PIERCE Hey! JEFF Youre all overreacting. TROY Oh, really? Shirley gets put up in a tree by a guy in a white mask... PIERCE Huh. Sounds like fun. TROY Say what? JEFF A white mask, you say? ANNIE Thats what Shirley said.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

15.

PIERCE Thats not what she said...what did she say? Hmm. JEFF (ignoring Pierce) Oh my God...do you know what it means? TROY Theyre back... JEFF It means its Halloween tomorrow, and someone decided to play a trick on Shirley. And, considering they Brittad the trick, we all know who it was. Everybody looks at Britta. BRITTA I didnt do it! I was with Annie all night. PIERCE All night? Mmm. BRITTA (to Jeff) Where were you last night, huh? JEFF Whoa! Why would you think I did it? From outside the study room, LEONARD (Richard Erdman) walks past, smirking. LEONARD Because everything always revolves around Jeff Winger! JEFF Shut-up, Leonard! I heard what candy you are handing out this year. Prostate medicine is not candy. LEONARD Busted! Leonard walks away.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

16.

JEFF Speaking of medicine, wheres Abed? ANNIE Oh...we thought he might have been with you. TROY (upset) He got Abed too? JEFF Stop being so melodramatic, Troy. Im sure hes... Suddenly, Jeffs phone rings. The group jumps back, Jeff looks confused. JEFF I know I need a new ring tone, but really? ANNIE Shirley said she got a phone call before she was attacked. JEFF Shirley also says that God exists and that all dogs go to heaven. Ill take my chances. Jeff answers his phone. It is Abed. ABED Jeff? Dont talk, listen. Meet me at the fountain in ten minutes. JEFF The fountain? Do we even have a fountain? ABED Dont be late. Good luck, Jeff. Abed hangs up the phone. The group look at Jeff expectantly. TROY Well? JEFF Abed wants us to meet him at the fountain in ten minutes.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

17.

TROY Did he sound OK? JEFF Maybe a little anxious? Troy jumps up and runs out of the library. TROY Abed, Im coming! Jeff rolls his eyes. PIERCE Thats what she said! END SCENE.

18.

SCENE THREE: FOUNTAIN 2.0 EXT. GREENDALE COMMUNITY COLLEGE - FOUNTAIN The group, sans Pierce, sits on the fountain outside Greendale. The PA system cranks up with the voice of DEAN CRAIG PELTON (Jim Rash) fires up. (DEAN) Remember, your Dean loves you. And I want you to be safe...safe and sound at this years Halloween extravaganza! Were only a day away from the fifth and biggest campus party of the year... ABED NADIR (Danny Pudi) walks up to the group, smiling. ABED Good. Youre here. Abed sits down on the right hand side, remaining silent. JEFF Yes...we are here...which, by the way, has appeared out of nowhere. ABED I heard what happened to Shirley. BRITTA Horrible, isnt it? ABED Has Chang seen you yet? ANNIE Why would Chang want to see us? ABED He just wanted to know if Jeff knew how to hunt. BRITTA Why would he ask you if you liked to hunt? ABED (leaning forward) Because Shirleys pie was gutted.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

19.

JEFF Thank you, Abed. BRITTA When I talked to the police they didnt ask me if I liked to hunt. TROY Thats because theres no way a girl could have done it. BRITTA Troy, that is so sexist. It could easily have been a female. TROY I dunno...fact is, Shirleys pie was completely hollowed out...it takes a hungry man to do something like that. BRITTA Or a mans brutality. JEFF Do you people ever listen to yourselves? Were talking about a pie, not Shirleys kids! ANNIE How do you...gut a pie? Everybody goes quiet and look towards Annie. TROY You take a knife...slit it from edge to edge... JEFF Pies are circular...they have one edge, genius. ANNIE Hey Troy...didnt you say you wanted some pie yesterday? TROY Yeah, for like two seconds. ABED ...before she dumped you for Steve?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

20.

JEFF Who is Steve? Explain yourself. ABED Are the police aware you wanted pie? TROY What are you saying? That I made her fall and hurt herself? BRITTA (interjecting) Troy and I had some after class yesterday. TROY (winking) Yeah, we did. ABED Was that before or after he sliced and diced? ANNIE Stop it, Abed...youre giving me the creeps. TROY (to Abed) Where were you last night, anyway? ABED Working, thank you. JEFF You work now too? Where!? Dont tell me you went back to your fathers falafel stand... ABED The video store...now ask if they fired me. JEFF (rolling eyes) Did they fire you, Abed? ABED Twice. Cue Troy claiming he didnt kill anybody in three...two...

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

21.

TROY Huh?! I didnt! ABED Bingo. JEFF (sternly) Nobody said you did, Troy. TROY Thanks, buddy! ABED (imitating Troy) Besides...takes a hungry man to do something like that. TROY Abed, you keep acting weird Im gonna gut you in a second. ABED (in a voice) Did you really put her liver in the mailbox because I heard they put her liver in the mailbox, next to her spleen and her... BRITTA Abed, Im trying to eat here. TROY Shes getting mad, man...youd better liver alone. Annie walks off, upset. ABED Liver alone...cool. Cool, cool, cool. TROY (confused) I dont get it... CUT TO - INT. LIBRARY Annie walks along by herself, when Abed catches up to her. ABED Annie!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: ANNIE What is it, Abed? ABED Its about Shirley...I think I know whats going on. ANNIE What is it? ABED Not here.

22.

Abed pulls Annie into the study room; he seems different, more fidgety than normal. ANNIE Abed, whats wrong? Youre not Han Solo again, are you? ABED Different context...Im Randy. Annie, in spite of herself, glances down at his crotch. ANNIE Well...thats not any of my concern...and Im not that kind of girl, anyway. Annie heads to leave. ABED Sidney, wait! Annie turns around, confused. ANNIE What did you just call me? ABED Shirley was attacked by Ghostface...the killer from the Scream franchise last night. ANNIE (gasping) Thats the movie Britta wanted us to watch! ABED Girls watching horror movies near Halloween...you were an attack waiting to happen. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

23.

ANNIE You do realise this isnt a movie, Abed? Shirley just...had an accident. This isnt Scream! ABED Im not so sure...we have you, the likable but unsure of herself protagonist - Sidney Prescott. We have me, the lovable movie geek Randy Meeks. We have the sassy blonde Britta - Tatum Riley. The dopey and jockish maybe boyfriend, Troy - Stu Macher. And last but not least, the creepy and stylish boyfriend of Sidney Prescott, Billy Loomis - Jeff Winger. ANNIE (blushing) Jeff is not my boyfriend! ABED Its just a label...but to the audience, he might as well be. ANNIE Well, if this was a movie, would you recommend the protagonist walking off by herself? ABED No; sounds like a death wish. ANNIE Well, I...dont...care. Annie walks away from Abed, who shakes his head. ABED Good luck, Ms. Prescott. END SCENE.

24.

SCENE FOUR: SHERIFF CHANG EXT. GREENDALE CAMPUS Head of Security BENJAMIN CHANG (Ken Jeong) is interviewing STARBURNS (Dino Stamatopoulos) at the back of the Library. Chang is scribbling busily into his notepad. CHANG So...Starburns... STARBURNS My name is Alex! CHANG Youre a drug dealer, right? STARBURNS Thats really neither here nor... CHANG ...and I look the other way because, frankly, I have bigger fish to fry... STARBURNS ...at a Community College? CHANG ...get a little high last night and get the munchies, hmm? Swing by Shirleys house, hmm? STARBURNS No! Are you crazy? CHANG (yelling) Do I look crazy?! Students walking by look over at the commotion, and Chang calms down. CHANG Look...do you really want me to go all good cop-bad cop on you? STARBURNS But youre the only cop here... CHANG Youre in trouble now.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

25.

Chang turns around, and walks away; composing himself. He turns back around and walks up to Starburns, grabbing him by the collar. He has drawn a thick black moustache on himself. STARBURNS Hey! CHANG You gonna tell me what I want to know, punk? STARBURNS Get off me! CHANG Let me show you what my ancestors passed down to me since Vietnam. Chang pulls out his taser. Dean Pelton runs over to the two. DEAN What the hell are you doing!? Chang releases Starburns, and salutes the Dean. Starburns hurries off to the left. CHANG Interrogating a suspect. Shirleys death will not be in vain. DEAN Her death? Ben, dont you think you are being a little...crazy? CHANG These are crazy times, Dean. A Sheriffs gotta do what a Sheriffs gotta do. DEAN Look... The Dean leans in closer to Chang. DEAN We dont need to be scaring people off before the Halloween party...we need the revenue, remember? CHANG Yes, but...

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: DEAN No buts! Make sure this whole Shirley situation resolves itself before tomorrow night...or else.

26.

The Dean walks away. Chang pockets his taser in frustration, and turns around...straight into Courtney. COURTNEY Wow...look at that uniform...guess you are the big man on campus, huh? CHANG Who are you? COURTNEY Oh...how silly of me...Im Courtney Jacobs, local press. CHANG Do you have a permit to be here?! COURTNEY No. I was hoping to interview the head of security about the case. CHANG Thats classified. COURTNEY (flirtatious) I think we can work something out. Courtney walks up to Chang, smiling. CHANG (mouth open) I had to think fast. COURTNEY (confused) Sorry? CHANG What do you want to know? COURTNEY Anything that will help us catch this killer... CHANG Then follow me. Chang walks towards the library, and Courtney smiles. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: COURTNEY ...imagine what that would do for my career! CUT TO - INT. GREENDALE HALL

27.

Annie is walking away from class when she bumps into Pierce. PIERCE Annie...a word? ANNIE Ive got class, Pierce. PIERCE Thats debatable. Look, Im going out of town for a few days...just wanted to make sure you were OK for money while Im gone... Pierce hands over a wad of cash, which Annie brushes away. A few students walking past look at the gesture with raised eyebrows. ANNIE Pierce! You dont pay my rent anymore...I moved in with Troy and Abed, remember? PIERCE Oh...right. Pierce puts the money away; he seems disoriented. ANNIE Are you OK? PIERCE Yeah...fine. ANNIE Are you sure you should be leaving? It might not be safe to be by yourself. PIERCE Dont worry about me. Worry about yourself. Pierce walks away, and Annie looks confused. She walks down the hall and enters the womens bathroom, and begins to adjust her makeup when voices ring out from the stalls. They belong to the bitchy MEGHAN (Hillary Duff) and her friend JEN (Jess Adams). (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

28.

MEGHAN I bet she did it, anyway... JEN Who? MEGHAN Annie Edison. The girl has some serious issues. The doors begin to open, and Annie rushes into the disabled cubicle, locking the door quietly. JEN Why would she do it? MEGHAN Maybe she has the hots for Shirleys husband... JEN What would she want with that guy? Shes got her own bubble-butt boy toy, Jeff Winger. MEGHAN Maybe shes a slut, just like Britta Perry. Annie frowns. JEN Cut her some slack...I hear she had a pill problem. MEGHAN Yeah, and it fucked her up royally. Think about it...her addiction left her disturbed and hostile in a cruel and inhumane world. Shes delusional. "Wheres God," etc. Completely suicidal. One day she snaps. She wants to kill herself but she realises that teen suicide is out this year and homicide is a much healthier, therapeutic expression. JEN Where do you get this shit?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

29.

MEGHAN (shrugging) Professor Duncans class. JEN You are pathetic. The two leave the bathroom. Annie exits the cubicle and walks back towards the sink, looking at herself in the mirror. She begins to cry to herself, when a noise distubs her, coming from somewhere in the room. ANNIE Hello? She bends down to look underneath the stalls, but there seems to be nobody there. Annie sighs and turns back to the mirror. In the stall nearest to the door, a pair of feet step down off the toilet and cloak is lowered to cover the legs. Annie turns around, concerned. ANNIE Anybody there? Annie turns to leave the room, but as she does the door flies open and Ghostface lunges out at her. She ducks, but manages to avoid him and runs from the room. She runs into Chang, who takes out his taser at the commotion. Troy and Britta are standing behind him, concerned. CHANG Who did this?! ANNIE (in tears) Hes in the girls bathroom! BRITTA She means the womens bathroom. Chang runs forward and kicks the door open. After a short pause, he comes back out. CHANG Its clean...apart from the fourth stall. What do you guys eat? ANNIE He was there...I swear! TROY Its OK...I dream theres people in places they arent all the (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

30.

TROY (contd) time...like Michael Jackson in that weird dream I had last night. ANNIE (clutching at Troy) Troy...I want to go home...now. TROY OK...OK...calm down! Lets find Abed and well go... Troy puts his arm around Annie and begins to lead her down the hall. TROY Hey, Britta...you wanna join? We might be safer...together. BRITTA Why...dont you think I can take care of yourself? TROY I just wouldnt want to see you get hurt...thats all. BRITTA I dont need you looking after me, Troy! Anyway, Ive got my night planned with Toby already. ANNIE Toby? TROY A guy shes been seeing...when are we going to meet him, anyway? BRITTA When hes ready. Britta walks down the hall, slightly flustered. Troy and Annie begin to move in the opposite direction; leaving behind Courtney, who sticks to the shadows, writing in her notepad. Chang slinks around rubbing his chin. COURTNEY Jesus...do you know what this means?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

31.

CHANG My name isnt Jesus. END SCENE.

32.

SCENE FIVE: CSI GREENDALE EXT. SHIRLEYS HOUSE - NIGHT Chang and Courtney walk up to the empty house. Chang still has the moustache drawn on his face. COURTNEY Are you sure this is the place? CHANG Please...I know this town like the back of my Chang. The two make their way up to the side gate. CHANG Its locked. COURTNEY Allow me. Courtney takes out a hair pin and uses it to shimmy open the lock. Chang looks impressed. CHANG Whered you learn how to do that? COURTNEY You dont want to know...come on! Courtney makes her way into Shirleys backyard, where the pie encrusted chair remains. Chang walks up to it and sniffs. CHANG Hmm...classic raspberry...Shirleys favourite. COURTNEY Did she let you taste her pie? CHANG (smiling) You have no idea... Courtney stops listening as she notices a glint in the tree. COURTNEY Hey...Ben? I think Ive found something.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

33.

Chang walks over and grabs the object; it is a picture of the study group. Shirley has been crossed out, and Annie has been circled. CHANG What is it trying to tell us? Chang grabs the picture and screams at it. CHANG (screaming) What are you trying to say?! COURTNEY Annie Edison...shes next. CUT TO - INT. BRITTAS HOUSE - NIGHT Britta is in the kitchen, cutting up some meat with a knife. The house is quiet and eerie; she leans back to look into the living room with a smile. BRITTA Itll be ready in a minute, Toby. Then we can snuggle on the couch...hold each other close...I can rub you as hard as you want all night until it gets too much... Britta stops chopping the meat and takes it into the living room, where she sits down and smiles to her left. BRITTA Finally some time alone, huh? Britta places the meat in front of Toby, her three-legged cat. Toby sniffs the food, but turns up his nose. BRITTA No? This is the best tofu cat food I could find! Toby seems to shake his head in disgust. BRITTA Fine. Join the machine, see what I care. Britta stands up, and leaves the room walking backwards. BRITTA Ill be right back!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

34.

Britta walks into her garage, which is dark and scary. She walks to the fridge, and the door closes without her noticing. BRITTA ...chicken, fish, chicken, fish. Ugh. Why cant you be a vegetarian like we normal people... A box falls in the corner, and Britta jumps around, frightened. She spins around only to see one of her other disabled cats wheeling itself through the cat-flap. BRITTA Daniel! Britta...its OK. Britta grabs a can, and walks back to the door, but it seems to be locked. The lights suddenly go off. She knocks the door, scared. BRITTA Toby...Toby! If youve seen Lassie, then you...wait...he was a dog. Da-doy. She presses the garage door button, and it slowly rises. She walks over to it, but as she reaches it; it begins to go down again. She turns around to see Ghostface standing at the doorway, hand on the control. BRITTA Is that you, Abed? Ghostface shakes his head. Britta begins to walk back towards the door. BRITTA What movie is this from? Nightmare on Friday the 13th? Ghostface shakes his head in exasperation. Britta stands right in front of him, trying to exit the garage. BRITTA You should change your outfit before the party; if you wear that, Annie will totally flip. Britta tries to get past, but Ghostface blocks her. BRITTA Oh...you wanna play psycho masculine killer? (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

35.

Ghostface nods. BRITTA Can I be the helpless and obviously female victim? Ghostface nods again. BRITTA OK, lets see. No, please dont kill me Mr. Ghostface, I want to spend my life showing my boobs and degrading myself in crappy horror movies for the entertainment of horny teenage boys everywhere. She again tries to move past him, but he blocks her. BRITTA Cut it, Abed...thats a wrap. They begin to jostle, and Britta drops her cans of cat food. BRITTA Hey...what are you doing... Ghostface pulls out some duct tape and unwraps falls backwards and hits the fridge. Ghostface but she swings the freezer door out and knocks runs back to the door, but it is still locked. jumps up and runs at her, but she picks up the and throws them at him. BRITTA Dont mess with me...I lived in New York! The cans hit Ghostface and knock him to the ground. She slides on the ground and begins to crawl through the cat flap. She manages to get halfway when Ghostface stands up and flips the switch, sending the door up. Britta screams as she goes higher...and higher...until Ghostface turns it off. Britta is left, stuck, dangling several feet up in the air. BRITTA You are the worst! Ghostface stands in front of her and unwraps the duct tape. Britta screams as he steps towards her and begins to tape her mouth. END SCENE. some. Britta runs at her, him down. She Ghostface cat food cans

36.

SCENE SIX: DREAMATORIUM INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT Annie sits at the table studying while Troy and Abed sit on the couch watching Scream. TROY I dont get it...is this the part where the dude breaks into the house and kills them all? ABED No, this is the part straight after a kill...cut to new location, slow dialogue, tension building... TROY And then he strikes again? ABED Exactly. ANNIE Do you guys have to watch that? TROY Uh, its called study. ANNIE This is called study! TROY Why dont you study in your room? ANNIE I still need to get it fumigated after you two played Mist in there last week, remember? ABED Theres always the Dreamatorium. Abed points to the door on the far side of the room. ANNIE Fine... Annie walks to the Dreamatorium and closes the door. Abed and Troy turn back to the TV.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

37.

TROY You think shes involved? ABED No. Sidneys the hero, not the villain. Thats her role. TROY I thought you said I was Stu. ABED You are. Britta is Tatum, Jeff is Billy... TROY So do you think its me? Abed hesitates. Troy stands up and begins to walk out of the apartment. ABED Troy, wait! TROY If I wanted to be judged, Id get a white girlfriend, or go on American Idol...but not here. Troy leaves. CUT TO - INT. DREAMATORIUM - PRESCOTT HOUSE Two hours later flashes across the bottom of the screen. Annie, asleep on a desk, awakes in the Dreamatorium. Looking around, she finds herself in the house of Sidney Prescott. ANNIE Where the...? Annies thoughts are interrupted by a phone ringing, which she answers. ANNIE Hello? GHOSTFACE Hello, Annie. Annie hesitates at the sound of the voice. ANNIE Uh...hi? Who is this?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: GHOSTFACE You tell me. ANNIE I...I have no idea. GHOSTFACE Scary night, isnt it? With the murders and all, its like right out of a Halloween party or something. ANNIE Its you...isnt it?

38.

Annie gets off the couch and begins to look out the windows. ANNIE Listen, Im not scared of you, and what you did to my friend was... GHOSTFACE No, you listen to me! If you want to make it out of here alive, you have to do something for me. ANNIE If this is a come on, Im not into it. GHOSTFACE I want you to miss the Halloween party... ANNIE Why? GHOSTFACE You should focus less on the why...and more on the where... ANNIE The where? Well...where are you? GHOSTFACE Your front porch... Annie walks right up to the door, looking out the glass. ANNIE Oh, really? Well, I call your bluff. Annie unlocks the door and walks out slowly onto the porch. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

39.

ANNIE So where are you? GHOSTFACE Right here... Annie begins to walk around the porch, but there is nothing but darkness surrounding her. ANNIE Yeah...I didnt think so. Annie walks back inside and closes the door behind her. Suddenly, the closet door behind her flies open and Ghostface runs at her with a knife. She screams, and tries to dodge him, but he manages to push her over and sit atop of her. ANNIE (screaming) Troy...Abed...help me! Just as Ghostface slashes down, Annie wakes up in the Dreamtorium. She is surprised to find her phone next to her with a call from Unknown still in progress. ANNIE Hello? GHOSTFACE Have a pleasant dream, Sidney!? Annie screams and runs out of the Dreamtorium, straight to Troy and Abeds blanket fort bedroom. She is shocked to find that it is empty. She backs out towards the wall, next to the window. Suddenly, the window flies open and Jeff falls into the apartment. Annie screams and falls back. JEFF Hey! Whoa! Whats wrong? ANNIE Jeff! Annie runs up and hugs Jeff. ANNIE He called me, Jeff... JEFF Who?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: ANNIE The killer... JEFF The non-existant killer? ANNIE Hes real, Jeff! He called me, and he said that...

40.

Suddenly, Jeffs phone falls out of his pocket onto the floor. Annies number is shown on the screen. She backs away from him slowly. ANNIE Jeff...why do you have your phone... JEFF You mean the phone I carry with me 24/7? Jeff walks towards Annie menacingly. JEFF You trust me, right? ANNIE Abed said you were Billy... JEFF Dont tell me youre enabling this delusion. Come here, Annie... ANNIE Where were you when I was attacked in the bathroom, Jeff? JEFF What does it matter? ANNIE Just answer the question. JEFF (shrugging) Studying, I guess. ANNIE Liar... Annie makes a run for the door, and swings it open only to find Ghostfaces mask staring at her. She screams, as does the man holding the mask; Chang. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

41.

CHANG I found this outside... ANNIE Get Jeff! Hes the killer! JEFF Thats your concern? Id say the worrying thing here is that Chang knows where you live. Chang rushes across and places Jeff, after a struggle, in handcuffs. He begins to lead Jeff from the apartment. JEFF What are you doing? This is insane! CHANG Tell that to my shrink, Winger. Chang leads Jeff out of the building. Annie falls down against the wall, and Abed enters. ABED Let me guess...phone call followed by Jeff entering the room, Dawsons Creek style? Annie nods. ABED Hmm. Five...four...three...two... ANNIE What are you...? ABED ...one... Annies phone rings from another Unknown number, and she answers. ANNIE Yes? GHOSTFACE Is this Britta? ANNIE No...this is my phone, why would I be Britta?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

42.

GHOSTFACE (laughing) Because you fingered the wrong guy! Annie gasps, while Abed mouths the words in time. END SCENE.

43. SCENE SEVEN: EMPTY SEATS INT. STUDY ROOM - MORNING Annie, Abed and Troy sit around the study table quietly; staring at the empty seats that surround them. ANNIE Has anyone heard from Britta? TROY Shes not answering her calls. ANNIE Oh my God...do you think shes been... ABED Impossible. Tatum made it to the last act...it would disturb the order of the kills. TROY Speaking of disturbing... The Dean enters in a elaborate Halloween costume. DEAN Happy Hallo-Dean! Wait...where are the others? Where is...wheres Jeffrey?!? The Dean walks over to Jeffs chair and strokes the seat lovingly. DEAN I hope hell be here for the party tonight...what with the low budget this year I was hoping your study group could help to boost the numbers through the door. ANNIE I dont think a Halloween party is exactly what we... ABED Well be there. DEAN Thank you, Abed. The Dean walks out of the room.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

44.

ANNIE Abed! Why would you want to go to the party with a killer on the loose? ABED The third act bloodbath is nearly always at a party. TROY Uh, so why would you want to go? Annie gets up and heads to leave the room. ANNIE As long as Jeff is still locked away, Ill think about it. Annie leaves the room but walks straight into Jeff. ANNIE Oh! JEFF Its me! Annie backs away slightly. JEFF Whoa, whoa, whoa...you still think its me? Annie, they let me go, because my records showed I didnt call you last night. ANNIE Oh...no, no. I dont. Its just...someone was there...someone tried to kill me. JEFF I know...the cops said I probably scared him away. It wasnt me, Annie. ANNIE He called me again after you...left...last night. JEFF See? Couldnt have been me, I was being taken away in cuffs by an actual maniac. Remember?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

45.

ANNIE Im sorry...please try to understand. JEFF Understand what? I have a...friend...who would rather accuse me of being a psychopathic killer than give me another shot? Jeff steps closer to Annie, rather suggestively. ANNIE Jeff...this isnt the time... JEFF What is it, Annie? ANNIE Jeff...I was attacked and nearly filleted last night! JEFF I mean between us...it hasnt been the same since Troy and Abeds housewarming. ANNIE Shirleys in Hospital...Brittas missing...I cant believe youre bringing this up now! JEFF Its been three months! ANNIE Three months tomorrow. JEFF Well maybe its time you get over that night...when Professor Slater left me, I got over it. Shes not coming back. ANNIE That wasnt the same! That was a clean break up...I have to see you every day! JEFF OK, Im sorry. Its a bad analogy. Its just that...I want my Annie back. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

46.

Annie walks away down the hall. JEFF Annie... ANNIE Im sorry if my traumatized life is an inconvenience for your perfect existence! Jeff looks after her longingly, then walks away. END SCENE.

47.

SCENE EIGHT: DEAN DONG INT. DEANS OFFICE The Dean sits at his desk looking at Chang, who stands in front of him saluting. Courtney sits on a chair to the side of the room, looking over her notes. DEAN Cancel the Halloween party?! Are you insane? CHANG My number one priority is student safety, sir. Right after keeping the peace, and upholding the honour of my Japanese, Korean and Chinese forefathers. DEAN What evidence do you even have that there is a killer on the loose? COURTNEY You need to face the facts, Dean. Several of your students have been receiving threatening phone calls. Shirley Bennett has already been put in hospital, and nobody has heard from Britta Perry all day. DEAN And who is this? CHANG It doesnt matter who she is! All that matters is we catch this guy...fast. DEAN And what are you proposing? CHANG Cancel the official party...we set a trap with the rest of the study group...and when he comes, I take him down. DEAN Take him down?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

48.

CHANG All the way to Chang-town. Chang taps his flashlight. The Dean looks out the window, seemingly thinking it over. DEAN Im sorry, Ben. Greendale needs this. I need this! The twelve costumes I have lined up wont wear themselves! CHANG But... DEAN No buts! Not even Jeff Wingers! Courtney takes out the Ghostface mask and slams it onto the Deans desk. He screams effeminately before composing himself. COURTNEY Then whatever happens tonight, its on your head. Courtney and Chang leave. The Dean grabs the PA to make an announcement. DEAN Students of Greendale, it is my pleasure to assure you all that tonights Halloween bash is still on! Lets make it the scariest... There is a knock at the door, but the Dean ignores it. DEAN ...and most memorable party of the year! There is another knock at the door. The Dean hits a button on his desk. DEAN Agnes, can you get that please? There is no reply. The Dean gets up and opens the door, but there is nobody there. DEAN Thats odd.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

49.

The Dean closes the door and walks back to his desk, but there is another knock. He walks to the door and opens it, but again there is nobody there. The Dean walks into the hallway, confused. DEAN Hello? Anyone there? Was that you, Jeffrey? Darn. The Dean walks back into his office, and closes the door...but there is nobody behind it. The Ghostface mask is missing off his desk, but he does not notice. He walks to a cupboard and opens it, revealing many costumes on their hangers. DEAN Well...who wants to dance? He begins to go through the costumes until he comes to a Ghostface one. DEAN I dont remember you... Before the Dean can react, Ghostface grabs him and drags him into the cupboard. He slams the door shut, and the Deans screams die down in a hurry. END PART ONE - TO BE CONTINUED.