The simplest definition is the ability to understand emotions as they happen, and the using that emotion effectively.

In other words, managing emotions in yourself and in others, so that you can achieve your goals Seen as the fundamental key to success and leadership - and it can be learned! Working with people Not just about being nice Managing ones own emotions Ability to handle encounters Teamwork Leadership

Just because you work hard does not mean you will rise to the top or that the job is secure. Lack of social skills, motivation to keep learning, and inability to take criticism The more complex the job, the more EQ (EI) matters!!

Identify emotions Identify how you feel Identify how others feel Sense emotions in music Sense emotions in art Detect real vs fake emotions - accuracy Understand Emotions Recognizes what events are likely to trigger different emotions Knows that emotions can combine to form complex blends of feelings Realizes that emotions can progress over time and transition from one to another Provides a rich emotional vocabulary for greater precision in describing feelings and blends of feelings

Manage Emotions Research findings: Significant relationship between managing emotions ability and burnout and mental health Teams with higher scores for managing emotions received higher performance rankings You are in a meeting when a colleague takes credit for the work you have done. What do you do? A. Immediately confront the colleague saying that you did the research? B. After the meeting, take the colleague aside & tell him/her that in the future you would appreciate credit for the work you did. C. Nothing. Its best not to embarrass colleagues in public. D. After the colleague speaks, publicly thank him/her for referencing your work & provide additional details about the work.

Components of Emotional Intelligence There are five parts to it. One is knowing what you're feeling. The second is managing your feelings, especially distressing feelings. The third is self-motivation, the fourth is empathy and the fifth is managing relationships

Developing empathy Empathy is the ability to recognize anothers emotional state, which is very similar to what you are experiencing. In research on married couples, empathy appears to include matching the physiological changes of the other person.

Developing empathy links to Greater interpersonal sensitivity Better school performance

Take time for mindfulness Recognize and name emotions ID the causes of feelings Differentiate having the emotion and doing something about it Learn optimism to challenge distortion Learn distraction techniques Listen to voice of experience Develop Listening skills

An effective, successful teacher is largely one who can handle his or her negative feelings in an authentic, real and healthy way. Here is an outline I have prepared to help you. I. MANAGING YOUR OWN EMOTIONS A. Identify Your Feelings - Ask yourself: How am I feeling?

- Answer using three word sentences beginning with "I feel..." - Label your feelings, not your children (or situation) B. Take Responsibility for Them (Own them) - Don't blame the children for your feelings - Owning your feelings means not thinking in terms of: You are making me angry You kids are driving me crazy - Remember that there is a little space between stimulus and response, and in this space lies your power to choose your reaction. Don't give away this power.

C. Use Your Emotional Awareness to Learn About Yourself - Your negative feelings reveal your unmet emotional needs. For example: If you feel You need to feel Disrespected Respected Disobeyed Obeyed Out of control In control But remember that the children are not there to meet your needs, you are there to meet theirs. Thus, you must either get your needs met somewhere else, or you must "let go" of some of your needs, such as your need to have so much control, or to feel obeyed. And remember that respect is something you earn, not demand. The easiest way to do this is to show respect for each individual childs feelings, and remember his negative feelings are indications of unmet emotional needs. The more help the child identify and meet the needs, the happier everyone will be. D. Work on Keeping Your Area of Acceptance Wide Open (1) - When you feel good about yourself you are more - accepting - tolerant - patient - understanding - predictable ====> This helps your students feel - Accepted - Approved of - Secure - Relaxed - Good about themselves ====> These contribute to healthy self-esteem, openness to learn and willingness to cooperate * Remember that Emotions are Contagious * II. HELPING YOUR STUDENTS FEEL BETTER THROUGH INCREASED EQ A. Help them label their feelings - Teach them a wide range of feeling words

- Start expressing your feelings - Start talking about feelings B. Give them real choices - Honor their decisions - Don't issue orders in disguise as requests - Ask them to help you meet your needs; don't demand it C. Respect their feelings - Ask them how they feel - Ask them how they would feel before taking action - Think about how you want them to feel - what feelings create a positive learning environment D. Validation - Accept their feelings - Show understanding, empathy, caring and concern - Whenever there is a problem remember to always first validate the feelings E. Empower them - Ask them how they feel and "What would help you feel better" - Teach them to solve their own problems using empathy, compassion and mutual respect for each other's feelings F. Avoid Labels and Judgment - Avoid "shoulds" - Avoid subjective labels (good/bad; nice/rude, etc.)

Top Ten Suggestions "I am feeling impatient", rather than "You are such a slowpoke."

1. Label your feelings rather than your students

"I am confused about why you aren't doing your work," rather than "You are just being lazy." I am afraid you will hurt yourself doing that. I am afraid your tapping might distract the others.

2. Express your emotions rather issuing commands

I feel bad when I see you take things from others without asking. And I am afraid you might lose their friendship. I feel uncomfortable with .....

3. Learn to take responsibility for your own feelings rather than blame them on your students.

Say, "I am feeling overwhelmed and out of control" rather "You are driving me crazy." "I felt embarrassed when the principal was here," rather than "You embarrassed me in front of the principal."

4. Remember that respect is earned, not demanded 5. Never invalidate a student. 6. Apologize when you feel regret for something.

Show the students respect by following the guidelines in the respect page See invalidation page.

I feel bad for....I am sorry I .... Frequently ask how students feel using emotional literacy guidelines of 3 word sentences. Help them find the most accurate, most precise "feeling words."

7. Encourage students to express their feelings with feeling words.

8. Seek voluntary cooperation rather than issuing commands. 9. Help student's resolve their own conflicts. 10. First validate the student' s feeling before addressing their behavior.

"Would you help me out by keeping your voice down?"

See conflict resolution in school. "It looks like you are feeling a little restless today." "It looks like you really don't want to come inside.

Stress is related to both positive and negative change, and stress is not the problem. Stress negatively impacts health and productivity when our responses to stressors are too intense and too long in duration. It is difficult for teachers to remain healthy and effective in demanding work environments unless they learn and apply positive stress management skills daily. An emotionally intelligent teacher learns and applies emotional intelligence skills to improve: physical and mental health by gaining knowledge/techniques to break the habit of emotional reactivity (Stress Management); productivity and personal satisfaction by helping to harmonize their thinking and feeling minds (Self Esteem and Confidence);

self esteem and confidence by learning specific emotional intelligence skills (Positive Personal Change); communication in personal and work relationships (Assertion); ability to manage anxiety and improve performance under pressure (Anxiety Management); ability to quickly establish and maintain effective interpersonal relationships (Comfort); ability to understand and accept differences in others and diversity issues (Empathy); ability to plan, formulate, implement effective problem solving procedures in stressful situations (Decision Making); ability to positively impact, persuade, and influence others (Leadership); ability to direct energy and motivation to accomplish personally meaningful goals (Drive Strength); ability to manage time to meet goals and assignments (Time Management); ability to complete tasks and responsibilities in a timely and dependable manner (Commitment Ethic); and Ability to control and manage anger and improve performance under stressful conditions and situations (Anger Management)
a highly intelligent student who becomes anxious during a test may fail because he or she has not learned effective strategies to deal with the problem.