Oki, and good afternoon. My name is Sterling HolyWhiteMountain. On my dads side Im a Schildt, and on my moms side Im a Rink.

If we go further back on my moms side her people come from both Germany and Denmark, and they had names I will never know. If we go further back on my dads side Im related Mountain Chief, and if we go further back than that Im related to people whose names I will never know. The name HolyWhiteMountain is my Blackfeet name, and was given to me by my relative Matthew DeRoche, who is gone now. I translate the name into English because that is what we are now whether we like it or not: We are the new Blackfeet. We are a culture in translation.

Heres a quote that I love:

What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset. - Crowfoot

Its a beautiful quote, enit? It feels like a poem to me. I wanted to begin with this quote in part because I think its beautiful, and I think its important to remember in the midst of all this anger and frustration and sadness and hope everyone is feeling when we talk about this issue of enrollment, and blood quantum, which ultimately means were talking about

Blackfeet history, which also means were talking about US history I think its important to remember in the midst of all these feelings that there is beauty all around us, every moment, if were only willing to look for it, to let it into our lives. A life without beauty isnt much of a life at all, in my opinion and there are so many kinds of beauty. There is the beauty of a pretty face although I must say I dont see very many here today. The beauty of someone who dresses well. The beauty of a perfect jump shot. The beauty of sundancers as they leave the lodge on a hot Sunday afternoon. The beauty of a mind that can see bigger truths. And the beauty of my nieces and nephews innocence, their openness to the world around them.

Like most of us labeled descendants Ive spent a lot of my adult life thinking about this issue of blood quantum. And Ive had to think about it exactly because Im not enrolled. From a very early age I was told by certain people that I was an Indian, and was told by others, either directly or indirectly, that I was not. And still from others I was told that I was part this, part that. Hear these mixed messages long enough from a young enough age and by the time you are old enough to talk about yourself you are already talking about yourself like a math equation: of this plus of that plus 1/3 of this = a whole lot of confusion. It wasnt until my late twenties that I realized Id been fighting a war inside myself for most of my life, and that this war was a direct result of being taught to think of myself in fractionated terms, and that I had been taught to think this way by the people around me. I use the term fractionated intentionally exactly because its the term used to describe tribal land, and exactly because both the land and

myself were fractionated by the same entity the United States Government for the same reason, that oldest of military tactics: divide and conquer.

You will forgive me for talking about myself; I understand the issue at hand, that of enrollment, is in a way a much larger issue than my personal identity struggles. This issue of tribal enrollment is pretty clearly a struggle for the survival of a people within a system that has no interest in that peoples survival. Within a system, in fact, that is set up to ultimately eliminate, or terminate, that people. And yet one of the things Ive learned from years examining my own mind, and now because of listening to what so many others on Facebook have said, is that my struggle is not special at all: plenty of others, for all the generations born since 1962, when the Blackfeet Tribal Council set the current blood quantum limit at 1/4, ever since then Blackfeet have gone through and are going through what I have gone through. And unfortunately, Im thinking here of my nieces and nephews and all the other kids who are here and are around here and all over Indian Country and all over the globe, in fact, who have been born into a world that forces them to racially define themselves, in other words all those who are too young to understand the meaning of a phrase like blood quantum, too young to understand the way that phrase will divide them within themselves and cause others to look down on them, to treat them like lesser human beings unfortunately for these kids as long as we continue to define ourselves by mere blood they will go through the same struggle we have gone through. They will continue to fight the same war within themselves and with each other that we have been fighting. It breaks my heart to think of these kids going through the same pain we have gone through. I dont want them to

feel these things; I dont want them to lose as much time to this struggle as I have. There are better things to do with a life than spend your time fighting with yourself. But if we continue with blood quantum then that is exactly what will happen to them. Theres no way around this. None at all.

I should say, too, when I talk about this war weve been fighting within ourselves, that Im not just talking about those of us who are legally and politically defined as descendants. Im also talking about those of us who are legally and politically defined as enrolled. Because, in my mind, we are two sides of the same coin. And those two sides make up a whole, and that whole is the current Blackfeet Nation. The fact of the matter is, though, that we should be the same side of a one-sided coin. The fact that there are two sides, the fact that so many of us think of ourselves in us and them terms, speaks to the success of the Federal government in dividing us amongst ourselves. And while we spend all this time fighting amongst ourselves, our so-called blood quantum begins to thin out, which means there are less and less of us, and as a direct result less and less of our land and so our land begins to go the way of the buffalo. I wonder is that an incorrect comparison to make, to say our still disappearing land is like the once nearly extinct buffalo? Probably not, given that the disappearance of both is a direct result of government policy and action. The difference, though, is that buffalo can make a comeback, and clearly they have just look at the tribes herd. But of course the difference between our land and the buffalo is that buffalo can come back from near extinction, we can breed them and raise them and allow them to multiply and put them on land and let them run. Land cant do any of those things. Once our land has gone from

trust to fee, which as many of you know it will automatically do once a 2nd generation descendant landowner has died, and his or her kids who are 3rd generation descendants inherit that land, then the only way for that land to return to trust is for a tribal member, or the tribal government, to buy it and have it put back into trust. And given the state of our economy here, with many of our members living under the national poverty line, and with our tribal council having put us into millions and millions of dollars of debt, with no seeming end in sight given the fact of their incompetency, given those facts the likelihood of that land being bought back is stunningly and terrifyingly unlikely. And just so you know, currently nearly , or over 500,000 acres of this reservation are fee-status acres. In other words, of our reservation land is owned by either non-Indians, or people like myself, who are so-called descendants, and thus, when it comes to land, are not seen as Indians.

So our land, which is more important in some ways than anything else, because in this world we live in now, not the world we used to live in, but the world we live in now in this world, without a definable land base and a strong political system to protect that land and the people that live on it, we are nothing. Without land we are a people with nothing to cling to but ourselves, and trust me when I say this: clinging to each other will not, in the long run, be enough to justify our existence in the eyes of the Federal government. In other words, and now Im speaking specifically to those who are against changing enrollment, if you have any interest the continued existence of the Blackfeet Nation as more than a handful of buildings sitting on a few scattered acres then continue doing exactly what youve been

doing: define yourselves, and exclude the rest of us, according to blood quantum which is another way of saying you are shaking hands with a Federal policy that had a vested interest in the extinction of not just the Blackfeet people but all the tribes in this country. If this is what you are interested in, then please, continue to reject those of us who are actually on the same side of the coin as you. Continue to reject those of us who would actually help guarantee the continued existence of the Blackfeet Nation. Continue to shrink in numbers. Continue to urge us to inbreed in order to keep this so-called blood pure. I cant say this enough: even though you think we are on different sides, we are on the same side. We are on the same side. This fight we are fighting with each other is ridiculous, and insane, and childish. Its the sort of thing you see kids on a playground doing. But here we are, fighting it. We are on the same side.

Of course the reason Im up here talking, and the reason all of you are sitting here, you know, besides the fact that I know all of you reeeeeeally wanted to hear me talk, is because there is currently a movement to do away with blood quantum as a way of defining who is in and who is out, and to change the way of defining ourselves to that of lineal descent, and therefore to also enroll those of us who can prove our lineal descent up to three generations. And Im in support of this movement not because I ultimately believe in this way of defining ourselves as a people, but because I think this is the best and for the time being the only option we really have I will be talking more about this at a future meeting. Suffice to say, though, is that lineal descent, while better than blood quantum, still presents us with a huge problem. And here is the problem: lineal descent is a racist method of defining ourselves.

It is still a method of defining ourselves that reduces us, and forces us to look at ourselves in terms of blood. It still says that blood is all that matters which, for what its worth, is an antiquated and utterly racist (did I mention it was racist?) way of looking at people that modern science has completely obliterated. And it is still a way of defining ourselves that was forced on us by a government that did not have our best interests in mind, a way of defining ourselves that was forced on us by a government that had dollar signs in its eyes and the words assimilation and extinction on its mind. The same government that was in support of phrases like, Kill the Indian, save the man. That was their idea of humanitarianism. That was the government that invented blood quantum. So you can see that keeping track of ourselves according to lineal descent is still a way of saying, then, that what is in my mind doesnt matter. How I use language, and what language I use, doesnt matter. What I feel and what I care for doesnt matter. The only thing that matters is the meat and bone and blood of my body and in the long run this body is only a container to hold the things that matter more, in my opinion. And while a body can be very beautiful, the beauty of a body fades, unfortunately, while the mind and the heart, in my experience, can almost always continue to become more and more beautiful especially if thats what we want to happen. It seems silly to have to say these things, but sometimes in order to move forward the simplest things have to be pointed out.

And so yes, in spite of the fact that, in my opinion, agreeing to membership by lineal descent is still a way of shaking hands with the all the dead Federal employees and politicians who hated the Blackfeet and had no particular

interest in those of us in this room today ever existing, in spite of that Im in support of opening enrollment to those who can document lineal descent but only because its the best option we have right now of maintaining our numbers and our land. Only because of that. Does it seem strange or silly to you that I would say Im in support of this, that I would voice my opinion so strongly given that I myself am a descendant, and therefore, according to the current system, Im a lesser citizen of this reservation, one who has been denied any kind of power or voice, despite the fact that this is my home, despite the fact that this is the place I care about most? Despite the fact that Im one who has been turned into a kind of ghost? One who is, as Red Hall told me once, a Nokitapii-koan: an in-between man? I tell you if it is silly to you that Im saying this then you have been shaking hands with those dead politicians for so long you dont even know anymore that youre doing it. There is practically no difference between your hand and theirs if you think I, and others like me, dont deserve a voice, if you think we dont deserve to vote, if you think we are the ones you are supposed to be fighting. And it is exactly because of being told for so long that my voice doesnt count, that I dont exist, that I have decided that my voice does matter, and that I do exist. So Id like to take this opportunity now to thank all the Blackfeet who have treated me like a lesser human being. All the people who have told me I dont belong because my skin is not dark enough. All the people who have told me Im not Blackfeet because I read books, and because Im articulate. All the people who have made it clear they dont want me to belong because Im not enough like who they want me to be. I want to thank all of them who have done these things to me. Some might be in this room right now. So I thank you. You treated me badly for so long that I finally had to say, Enough. Im done with this. I dont care anymore what you think about

me. Anyone willing to treat me like this, to say these things about me to others, and to my face, isnt worthy of judging me. It took me what feels like most of my life to get to that place; Im 34 now. I feel Ive wasted a lot of my life fighting a war that should never have been fought. The reason I bring this up is that I know there are others here, or who might hear this, who havent reached this place yet, this place of, I dont care what you say about me. Its a big thing in Indian Country, isnt it were such a tightly knit social group that its hard not to care what others think about us. But I know that if Im capable of standing up straight, I know that if Im capable of saying, Im not going to beg for your acceptance anymore, then I know that all of you are too. When I look at myself what I see are my weaknesses, my shortcomings. Im not a particularly strong person. And when I look out into this room, what I see are strong people, people much stronger than myself. Older people who have endured hardships none of us who are younger could imagine. And the people behind them, who have gone on before us, who endured even more unimaginable hardship. And I know that if youve made it this far then you are strong enough to say, I dont care what you think about me. And I know that, in the long run, youre capable of forgiving these people for their ignorance, and their fear. Because if I can do this you can do this. Trust me on that. Everyone here is strong enough to do this one thing.

In the meantime we will continue to stick up for all of you who will continue to stick knives in our backs. We will defend Browning when people talk trash about Browning, we will defend the Blackfeet when people talk trash about the Blackfeet. Even though you continue to stick knives in our backs.

Even though you betray us every time you say enrollment shouldnt be changed. We will continue to voice our opinions when people out there in that world off the reservation talk about lazy Indians, drunk Indians, Indians who have gotten everything for free, etc. even though you have called us wannabes, apples, white men and white women (as if theres anything particularly wrong with being white), even though you have called us descendants in a derogatory tone while you held up your plastic card given to you by the federal government all those terms you have thrown at us in order to make us feel pain because you feel pain, all those things youve said to let us know that you have rejected us because you felt rejected. I remember once, early on in high school, a man came from Los Angeles to this reservation. He was a reporter. He had dark skin and long black hair he kept in a ponytail. He was the first urban Indian Id ever seen or met. He came to our house to talk to us about basketball, particularly with my dad, who was very well known on the independent Indian basketball tournament circuit. And somewhere during the conversation my dad said that, for him, basketball was the only way left for him to be a warrior. Ive been thinking about that moment ever since. I would like now to respectfully disagree with my him on that point. Every time one of you has responded appropriately to a racist comment, you were a warrior. Every time one of you crossed our reservation boundary and went out into America and conducted yourself with decency and respect you were a warrior. Every time one of you studied night after night in order to increase your knowledge so you could get a job, support your family, so you could be a better person you were a warrior. Every time one of you went into the military and served your time with excellence you were a warrior. Every time one of you was honest with yourself about your own death, which is another way of

saying, What am I going to do with my life? you were a warrior. You were representing us. We were representing you. You were defending the rest of us. We were defending you. And given that many of us who have represented us so well are so-called descendants, I ask you this, those of you who are against enrollment reform: Why? Why would you turn us away? Why when weve done so much to change the minds of outsiders about who we are, about who you are? Why would you continue to shake hands with a government that doesnt care one way or another if we disappear into thin air? Look into your minds and hearts. If youre honest enough with yourself, youll see were not the ones you want to fight. There are any number of battles both historical and contemporary that we are all fighting right now, that we are stuck in the middle of right now but this fight with us, with so-called descendants, its a waste of everyones time. Were not the people you should be pushing back against.

I want to backtrack a few thoughts, to when I was talking about land, and loss of land. What happens when our land goes into fee status? We have to pay taxes on it. And given what Ive already said about the state of our economy on this reservation, which is another way of saying theres not a lot of money to go around, what happens when the taxes cant be paid on that land? It goes up for sale to anyone who can pay those taxes. And trust me when I say there are any number of entities out there who are waiting, who are practically on the edges of their seats, just waiting for this land to go into fee. Because this land we have here next to these mountains is an absolute gold mine of beauty. And if there is one thing people all over the world will pay for it is beauty. I drove for Sun Tours for several years, we did the

Blackfeet tours of Glacier Park, and you would not have believed the number of people who, after having spent the majority of their retirement years visiting tourist destinations all over the world, said this was the most beautiful place they had ever been. Think about that. People who had traveled to all the continents, who had seen the other great mountain ranges of the world, who had seen the pyramids, Rome, Paris, the Great Wall, etc. they said this was the most beautiful place theyd ever seen. What we have here is great beauty, and beauty is, and always has been, a nearly invaluable commodity. This land is worth protecting. These little kids, who dont yet know the meaning of racism, who dont know yet what it feels like to be told they are lesser human beings because they dont have the required blood quantum, because they dont have dark enough skin, who havent yet been told these things by the people around them the very same people who are supposed to be helping raise them, who are supposed to be protecting them from that kind of hurt: These kids are worth fighting for. The world will be hard enough for them as it is. This world is already set against them why would you choose to make it harder? Seen in this way, not changing enrollment requirements is an act of cruelty that each and every one of you who is against this change is consciously committing against each and every one of these beautiful children. Just think about that, if you would, and see how it sits with you.

I want to go back to the Crowfoot quote I started with. I not only love that quote because I think its beautiful, but also because its Crowfoot, who was

Siksika well forgive him for coming from up north, for now but he was one of us nonetheless. Its very hard to find wisdom from those old guys because nothing was written down, you know? So when I find words like these I hold onto them as best I can. I return to them to remind myself that about what matters most. But also, and most important for me, is that Im old enough now, Ive lost enough relatives and friends and acquaintances to know that someday, sooner or later, Im going to die. I know where Im headed. And to the best of my knowledge, no one here, no matter what your view on enrollment might be, no one here is getting out of this thing called life alive. And though it wont be all that long, relatively speaking, before were all gone, the chairs we sit on will most likely still be here, either being used by the people who will follow us, or stacked somewhere in a dusty corner, unused, but still here. Its a strange thing to think about, enit? But the fact that I can read his quote today is proof that not just physical objects can outlive us. Our words can strike like lightning years after our bones have joined the dust but only if our words are large enough to matter. And Crowfoots words are, in my opinion, very large, and they are large because he was thinking about something that was more important than his tiny self, that was bigger than his immediate personal problems.

This issue of enrollment reform is larger than each of us, and is more important than each of us with our small and selfish concerns. It is about all of us, and all of those who will come after us. And it is about this land, which I truly hope continues to belong to us, so we can continue to stand on this ground and say that though we might have lost many other things we still have this because what this battle is really about, I think, in the long

run, is the battle for real, actual, undeniable political sovereignty, and without enough people to make a nation, without land to call our own there will be, and cannot be, any hope for such a thing. The Blackfeet Nation will remain forever a dream. So in light of this I would urge everyone here those who are for, those who are opposed, those who are on the fence to think hard about these things, I would ask all of us to put aside our petty and personal concerns for a few minutes and think about what is better for all of us, and not what is good for just a few of us. It doesnt seem like a large thing, to ask this. Its important to think like this sometimes, to think about things larger and more important than our small selves, given that, as Crowfoot points out, we are all of us just shadows in the grass, waiting to disappear in the sunset. Were not here for very long; to ask yourself what you might get out of this personally is the most selfish thing you could possibly say. A better question might be, How can I use my power to benefit as many people as possible, long after Im gone?