REJECTION: CAUSES & HOW TO OVERCOME

Everyone faces in this life. We cant avoid rejection because we cant control the way people feel about us. Some will like us automatically; others may reject us without reason. The good news is, however, we can control our response. It is not what people say or think about us that matters most. What really matters the perception we have about ourselves and what God says about us. Here are some signs:

Fabricated personalities (being somebody you aren't, in order to be accepted) The tendency to reject others, so that you aren't the first one to be rejected A tendency to always wonder if a person rejects or accepts you The need to fit in or be accepted by others and be a part of everything Self-pity where a person feels bad for themselves being all alone Inability to be corrected or receive constructive criticism Rejection creates an environment where you are starved for love or just don't fit in A tendency to blame God ("Why did He give me this big nose? Why did God make me so short?") A sense of pride that says, "How dare they reject me!" Opinionated personality and the need to be right about things Feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, or hopelessness Seeking a parent's approval is a sign that your basing your identity upon what they think of you Envy, jealousy, and even hate can be rooted in rejection Fear of confrontation (because your identity is based upon what they think of you) You have an expectation that people will overlook you, not appreciate you, or use you. You feel bad when other people are praised, honored, promoted, or noticed. You cant rejoice for them because it reminds you of how overlooked, unappreciated or undervalued you are. If you walk into a room and people are talking and they stop when you enter, you immediately assume they were speaking negatively about you. You find yourself struggling to be perfect because you believe if you are perfect you wont be rejected. You are strongly motivated to strive to be a high achiever to prove your worth and to obtain recognition and validation from others. You are critical or demeaning toward others because it makes you feel superior. You shy away from making any deep relationships or revealing yourself to others to avoid the anticipated pain of rejection. You are constantly besieged with hopelessness. You have an agreement with death-you think others would be better off if you died, or think no one would notice or miss you if you died, you pray to die, or think that death would be an escape from your pain.

Some signs of a spirit of rejection are inward and some are outward. You may notice that you have a few of the signs mentioned in the above list manifesting in your life. You do not have to remain tormented by a spirit of rejection. God is willing and able to heal you right now.

[1]

The root of rejection The root of rejection is actually incredibly simple: damage from rejection is the result of a misplaced identity. Whenever we base our identity on somebody or something other than what God's Word has to say about us, we make ourselves vulnerable to the damage of rejection. Many of us will base our identity on what our parents, teachers, or friends think of us. This sets a lot of children up for Performance Orientation bondages later in life, because their parents give them conditional love based on their grades or performance. What or who defines who you are? Is it your job? Is it what your parents thought or think of you? Is it what your friends think of you? Is it how well you perform in the workplace? How much money you have? Is it how good of grades you get? Is it what you think of yourself? Is it how physically strong, fit, or tall you are? When you die, will those things continue to define who you are? Rejection and rising above rejection is all about identity and what you base your identity upon. The key to overcoming rejection is to solve the identity problems. So what exactly does God's Word tell us about who we are in Christ?

Because of God's great love for us, we are adopted into His family [1 John 3:1], and made joint heirs with Christ [Romans 8:17] We are made to sit in heavenly places (of authority over all demons, sickness, etc.) with Christ [Ephesians 2:6] We are blessed with all spiritual blessings in Christ [Ephesians 1:3] We are the righteousness of Christ through faith, thus being made right before God [Romans 3:22] We are entitled to a clean conscience before God because of the Blood and can have full assurance of faith when we go before Him [Hebrews 10:22] Our sins have been removed from us as far as the east is from the west [Psalms 103:12], and God Himself has chosen not to remember our failures [Hebrews 8:12] We are loved with the same love that the Father has for Jesus Himself! [John 17:23]

Biblical steps to healing and gaining freedom from a spirit of rejection: Extend forgiveness to those persons who have said or done things which communicated rejection. This is a choice of your will not an emotional feeling! You do not have to go to each person who has hurt you, but simply choose to forgive them from your heart. Forgive yourself for past failures. In other words, choose to stop rejecting yourself. This is also a decision of your will. Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. (Isaiah 43:18) Release all rejection from your past to the Lord. Remember He bore your rejection on the cross. He was despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. (Isaiah 53:3)

[2]

Invite the Lord to heal every wounded place in your heart holding nothing back from Him. But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,' declares the LORD, 'because you are called an outcast, for whom no one cares.' (Jeremiah 30:17) Renounce your agreement with the lie of rejection. Renounce your agreement with the spirit of self pity and confess self pity as sin to the Lord. Choose to accept yourself since God has accepted you. I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who live, but Christ who loved me and gave Himself for me. (Galatians 2:20) Diligently renew your mind with the TRUTH of Gods WORD about yourself. Read and memorize scripture that tells you what God thinks about you! And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. (Romans12:2 )

Following these Biblical steps, you can pray this way: Heavenly Father, I thank You for sending Jesus to heal the broken-hearted. I bring my broken heart to You now for Your healing touch. I choose to forgive each and every person who has hurt or rejected me in any way. (name them to the Lord as you pray Lord, I forgive_______...) I will not blame them or judge them any longer and I fully release them into Your care. I ask You to bless and help them. I choose to forgive and release myself from all my past failures. I will not blame or criticize myself any longer. I bring all the feelings and memories of hurtful experiences from the past and I lay them at the foot of the cross. I fully surrender them to You and refuse to hold on to them any longer. I break off any agreement I have ever made (knowingly or unknowingly) with the spirit of rejection and the spirit of self-pity. I renounce them and all of their lies. I choose to believe Your Word as being the Truth about me. You said I was accepted so I believe I am accepted. I ask You to make that truth real to my heart and mind. I ask for Your grace to help me begin to renew my mind with Your Word. I thank You for hearing and answering this prayer. I believe that I receive healing for my heart right now. Thank You for making me whole and freeing me from the spirit of rejection. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

[3]