1

The Walls
By Lisa Dillman
Revised Hedgebrook Draft (May 17, 2012)

CONTACT: Lisa Dillman 5743 W. Eastwood Chicago, IL 60630 (773) 425-5310 Lisa2paws@sbcglobal.net

CHARACTERS
Contemporary
Caridad (Carrie) Beliveau, 23. Bright, verbal, and hypervigilant. Virginia Dodge Beliveau, 48 at the very beginning of the play, which is at the end of her life. Carrie's mother, a painter. Lucy Gable, somewhere between 30 and 40. Funny, smart, quick, suffers from bipolar disorder.

Historical
Alice Chudmann, 33 when she makes her first appearance. The mother of three, she suffers from major depressive disorder that manifested after the birth of her third child. Vance Chudmann, 35 when he makes his first appearance. Alice's husband. This actor will also play The Reverend and the offstage voice of the landlord. Jane Eloise Yaeger, 26 when she makes her first appearance. Suffers from anxiety and major depressive disorder. Plaid Cranston, 45 when he makes his appearance. A pharmacist who becomes Jane's husband later in life. This actor will also play Alice's Doctor, Virginia's Act II orderly, and the Delivery Guy. Tabitha Chudmann Dodge, 25 when she makes her appearance. Alice's daughter. This actor doubles as Virginia's first orderly (Danielle) and Alices attendant. She actor may take on some of the smaller functionary roles where appropriate.

ACT ONE (As the play begins there is only music and mist. CARRIE emerges, poring over a thick sheaf of papers in the dim light, and moves to a brightly lit frame, where she stops, still reading. She then crosses the stage to sit in the glow of her laptop. The other characters begin to appear all around her, everyone speaking at once. The recorded sound of many whispering voices begins to rise, blending with and gradually overtaking the actors voices. The cacophony rises to a crescendo, then suddenly stops as lights go very bright on ALICE CHUDMANN. She wears a simple housedress circa 1920 and holds a broom.) CARRIE Alice Chudmann. Thirty-three at the time of commitment, October 25, 1922. ALICE Just stop a moment and think this is yourself. On a bright, chilly day. Late in the month of October. It is early, quite early in the morning on let's say a Tuesday and you are about your customary duties, of course you are, because you have had no illness to keep you from those duties, so there you are in your very own kitchen doing your very own chores and in he comes, right into the room, this great hump of a man with a face the color of uncooked meat. (A light comes up on the SHERIFF.) You turn, startled to have him so suddenly beside you. For a moment you don't know how in the world he came to be there, looming up between you and the back door. It's understandable if your mouth has fallen open slightly at this point yet you are not quite afraid. Because, after all, you know this person. He is a friend of the family. He's eaten at your table, had a second slab of your cherry crumble for his dessert, smoked a redolent pipe on your porch afterwards. Last Sunday, wasn't it? But you also become aware, more or less in that same instant, that to get here--into your kitchen--to be standing only two or three feet away from you--he must first have opened your back gate without jangling the bell, and crossed the yard that just yesterday you swept and pruned and raked and clipped. He must have stepped over the playthings your children left lying in the walkway and in fact he had to have come right up your back steps and yanked open the door. Did he knock first? He did not, else you would most certainly have bid him come in. Yet in he has come anyway. But by now you've collected yourself. "Well. Good morning, Sheriff." Does he remove his hat before he speaks to you? In your own kitchen. With your own broom clutched in your white-fingered hand? He does not. SHERIFF Mrs. Chudmann, I'm placing you under arrest. You'll have to come along with me. Please go on and get yourself a wrap.

4 (The sound of a cell phone. CARRIE stiffens, pulls the phone out of her pocket and slams it onto the table, but does not answer it.) ALICE At your dinner table, dabbing his greasy lips with one of your good linen napkins, he said please. He said thank you. He called you by your given name. SHERIFF "That was a fine dinner, Alice. Just fine." ALICE He's a great friend of your husband's. (Carries cell phone rings. Finally, she flips it open and checks the number and then closes it again. At the same time, ALICE, distracted by the sound of the phone, speaks more insistently.) He's a great friend of your husband's! SHERIFF Get yourself a wrap. Go on now. Get it. (Confused, ALICE turns and looks in the direction of the ringing cell phone. It suddenly stops ringing.) ALICE Please. I don't understand SHERIFF Now don't go making this harder than it already is, Mrs. Chudmann. ALICE Let me run get my husband--I won't be a minute-(Turning to find CHUDMANN standing there.) But then you see him. You see that he already knows about this little adventure in the kitchen. You see the glint in his eye. The glint that says victory at last. (The men move in on Alice.) SHERIFF Let go that broom, Mrs. Chudmann. Don't go getting all crazy. ALICE (Straight to CARRIE) There. Now you understand everything.

5 (CHUDMANN moves to take the broom from Alice. She tries first to fend him off with it and then swings it at him just missing his head. For a few moments she holds the two men at bay, swinging the broom wildly. Then CHUDMANN gets hold of the handle and yanks it away. SHERIFF pins Alice's arms behind her.) You see the way she is. CHUDMANN

SHERIFF I don't want to hurt you, Mrs. Chudmann. But you're gonna need to quit being so wild. Hear me? Now I'm gonna let go of you. And I want you to go on upstairs with Mr. Chudmann and get yourself a wrap. You hear me? (ALICE nods. The SHERIFF lets go of her. She turns to the audience once more.) ALICE And then. Because you are a lady. You get your wrap. And you go. (Light change and music as a cell phone begins to ring. CARRIE checks the number and answers as a light rises on VIRGINIA at a battered pay phone. She wears only one shoe.) CARRIE What. I don't know where I am! VIRGINIA

CARRIE You're there. Where else would you be. VIRGINIA No! I am AWOL, baby. One of the trolls left the kitchen door open, and I slipped right out. I hope they can her fat ass. ... I think Im lost. CARRIE Describe your surroundings. VIRGINIA That's a bit difficult. No landmarks. I see. Well. Do the best you can. CARRIE

6 VIRGINIA Hey. Watch the tone. Hey. Virginia? You called me. CARRIE

VIRGINIA I'm not Virginia, Im your mother god dammit. And Im outside a (A pink light begins to flash on and off.) Ahh. There's a sign. Two pink martini glasses are dancing. It appears to be some kind of a club. CARRIE Hmm. Does it seem like an all right place? Why don't you go on in, get yourself an adult beverage. VIRGINIA Ha. You know better than that. CARRIE Get on in there and order up a dirty martini. Go on. I wouldn't mind. Oh, I know. Maybe I just will. CARRIE I really think you should. VIRGINIA Except I don't do that anymore. CARRIE Not even for sneakies? VIRGINIA "Sneakies." Aww. My little dolly-girl. Can her pwease come get me? I'm working. CARRIE VIRGINIA CARRIE VIRGINIA

7 VIRGINIA The lunatic ladies of Carrie's Magnum Opus. Uh-huh. CARRIE

VIRGINIA The hysterical historical bedlamites. The cavalcade of victims. Yup. CARRIE

VIRGINIA The epic. The endless spew. That Which Shall Never Be Finished. CARRIE Not if I keep sitting here talking to you it wont be. VIRGINIA Nobody loves a victim. Havent I always said that? CARRIE I thought you always said nobody loves a fatty. VIRGINIA Nobody loves a fatty or a victim. Especially, nobody loves a fat victim. ... Pwease her come get me. Mama's best girl. Mama's onliest princess. Doesn't her know mummy is her very own primary source material? CARRIE (Chuckling in spite of herself) I haven't gotten to you in my outline yet. VIRGINIA Well what the hell are you waiting for? ... Pwease her come pick me up. CARRIE Gotta go. VIRGINIA Please? CARRIE Cant do it. VIRGINIA Come get me.

8 CARRIE Christmas is next week. I'll come see you then. Christmas Day. How about that? We'll spend the whole day together. I promise. VIRGINIA I writhed around in a puddle of my own blood for forty-seven hours trying to get you out of me. CARRIE We are so not going to do this right now. VIRGINIA Nine pounds! You had a head like a fucking melon! I was ripped to pieces! Shredded! I couldn't piss right ever again after you got through with me. Nobody ever wanted to fuck me after that either, you know that, don't you? You were the last one ever to get on the inside of this particular wreck of the Hesperus, baby doll! Forty-seven hours and then they had to cut you out of me like a tumor. I'm a goddam road map of scars from you, you malignant little whore--inside and out. I know that. Same here. CARRIE

VIRGINIA Her won't take fifteen minutes to come get me. CARRIE No, that's right. Her won't. Her can't. Her has a life and her is very busy. VIRGINIA I could get raped out here. I'm not used to the world anymore, you've all seen to that. I could get shoved into a car and-CARRIE No one's going to shove you into a car. You're fine. VIRGINIA Wait! Someone's coming! Please. Please come get me. Oh God. (And in fact, we do see a movement in the shadows beyond where VIRGINIA is standing. She huddles against the phone.) Mother. CARRIE

9 VIRGINIA Oh God, oh God, oh God! Stop it. Carrie! I need you! I have caller ID. What? You have what? CARRIE I have a service on my phone. It tells me where you're calling from. (An ORDERLY steps out of the shadows and buzzing flickering florescent light suddenly floods the area. The ORDERLY points at her watch. VIRGINIA is momentarily confused; she whispers into the phone.) VIRGINIA You little cunt. What did I ever do to make you hate me so much? Just tell me that. ORDERLY Okay, Ginger. Wind it up and let's get you back to your room. Come on, sweetheart. Spring me. Spring yourself. VIRGINIA CARRIE CARRIE VIRGINIA CARRIE VIRGINIA

VIRGINIA I need to see you. Your face. Your little curls. My only baby girl. (The ORDERLY makes an impatient motion of some kind.) Don't you come near me! Mother. Stop. CARRIE

ORDERLY Is that Carrie? Give me that phone. I need to talk to her.

10 CARRIE Is that Danielle? Mother? Let me speak to Danielle. VIRGINIA Get away from me! (Into the phone) You little shit bastard! Don't come. Don't you come here ever! I don't want you. I never wanted you! Just do one last thing for me, would you please? CARRIE Go fuck myself? ... (VIRGINIA hangs up in a fury--light goes out on her.) I always do. (A light rises on a rack of paintings. Music as CARRIE rises and moves toward it almost as if pulled by an invisible force. She stops just short of it and turns abruptly to the audience.) The Things I Inherited: An Inventory. One. A nice laugh. (She laughs nicely, then drops it abruptly.) Two. Good, strong features. Striking but only from a certain angle. Three. A direct gaze any time I'm not lying through my teeth. Four. Lousy teeth. Five. This hair. Thinning. Lank. I'm only twenty-three. Six. A tendency to stay up very very late--the result of seven, my longtime companion: insomnia. Eight. An unwillingness to miss anything. Nine. A desperate desire to stay in one place, to nest, to be what is called "at home." Ten. An inability to stay anywhere for long. Eleven. A near constant feeling of being haunted by something that creeps along in the shadows. And finally.... (She turns again and gestures to the paintings. As the following voice-over plays, she crosses to them, briefly puts a hand on one of the canvases. After a moment, she shakes out a tarp, throws it over the rack of paintings, and crosses back to her laptop.) CARRIE Jane Eloise Yaeger. Twenty-eight at the time of her commitment, May 17, 1883. (Lights rise on JANE. She is well-dressed circa 1880s.)

11 JANE Close your eyes. Tight! No. Tighter! Tight as you can. Put your whole face into it. Do you feel a vibration in the exact center of your head? If you multiply that vibration by one million times and then you allow it to spread through your entire body, until your very skin feels electrified, and it seems you'll have no choice but to shatter into a thousand glittering shards, then you will have a tiny fraction of an idea of how I spend my days. (A DOCTOR enters.) DOCTOR What day is today? JANE I don't know. DOCTOR What month? I don't know. What year? Eighteen I really can't say. And how are you feeling? JANE Close your eyes? DOCTOR I will not. I have no time for nonsense. Youre father is coming for a visit this morning. So I ask again. How are you feeling? Fine. You seem nervous. Do I? JANE DOCTOR JANE JANE DOCTOR JANE DOCTOR

12 DOCTOR You're not nervous? I'm. A little nervous. You coddle yourself, Miss Yaeger. I do. Yes. I'm sorry. JANE DOCTOR JANE

DOCTOR Are you? Ill tell you what Im sorry for. Im sorry for your parents who by all accounts raised you well. Im sorry about the money they squandered on your education, which clearly has been put to no use whatever. Im sorry but relieved for poor Mr. Cranston who very nearly succeeded in making a wife of you. And finally Im sorry for the staff of this institution, all of us who have no choice but to put up with your endless squalling. A neurasthenic constitution is no excuse for the way you carry on. JANE I'm so sorry! DOCTOR You're not a bit sorry, Miss Yaeger. And you're not ill. Shall I tell you what you are? You're lazy. You're a lazy weak woman. JANE Oh ... DOCTOR I haven't drowned your puppy, Miss Yaeger. I've simply stated an unvarnished truth. It's high time you pull up your socks and establish a purpose for yourself. JANE I did needlepoint when I first came. I was told I made some pretty things. But you kept losing the needles. Yes. DOCTOR JANE

13 DOCTOR You're not careful. Are you? No. JANE

DOCTOR Do you have anything else to say for yourself? No. Nothing more. Except. Except what? JANE I do not wish to see my father. DOCTOR Why not? JANE Because he hates me. DOCTOR Yet another frivolous remark. I make you angry. No. Youre angry right this moment. JANE DOCTOR JANE JANE DOCTOR

DOCTOR No. Im trying to help you. Your father is a man of God. By definition, he hates no one. And whether you like it or not, he is coming. So I suggest you wash your face. JANE (Malevolent) Very well then. DOCTOR Are you calm?

14 JANE Terribly calm. Hold out your hand. DOCTOR

(JANE holds out her hand. It trembles violently. The DOCTOR heaves a frustrated sigh and exits. She waits until shes sure hes gone and then takes a needle from the hem of her skirt. She draws it down the inside of her forearm very slowly, creating a thin bloody line. When she finishes, she sucks at the blood. Finally, she holds out her hand. It is completely steady. She seems to see CARRIE watching her across time. She tosses her head defensively. THE REVEREND enters and stands to one side unseen by Jane.) JANE Plaid Cranston was a pharmacist. He smelled of ointment. When he was concentrating he would dig in his ear with the second knuckle of his index finger. Little flakes would fall onto his shoulder. This tormented me. He was kind. He liked children. The Reverend said he was a catch and even Mother figured he would do. He was entirely . . . inoffensive. I think he might even have loved me. And I was already twenty-eight by then. But. He never laughed. And I looked ahead to years of ear knuckling and sniffing and being gazed at by those exhausted infinitely patient gray eyes. I couldn't find a place for myself in that picture. No. I never could. Not even while I was being fitted for my wedding gown. Sin of pride. REVEREND

JANE Well, why not? I deserved more! I did! I know it. REVEREND Repent and beg the Lord to forgive you. You think He didnt see? You suppose He shut His eyes while you made a fool of yourself flirting and carrying on with anything in a pair of trousers? JANE You liked it well enough whenever I flirted with you! Dont be disgusting. REVEREND

JANE As long as I was pretty and silly and spoke no opinions apart from your own!

15 REVEREND You make God sick, do you hear me? You make Him retch. JANE I hope he chokes! He isnt my God anyway. REVEREND There is only one God, you heathen child, do you suppose you can simply invent your own? JANE I choose no God! No God, do you hear me? (A sudden stillness between them.) REVEREND Well. Youll have plenty of time here to ponder that sentiment. (He exits. JANE looks around, desperate, again catching Carries eye across the space of time. A steady look between them. A sudden slamming sound as the light goes out on JANE. CARRIE turns away from this and enters a coffee shop very late at night. She is clearly wound up. LUCY enters briskly.) LUCY What can I get ya, hon? Coffee. Black. Anything else? Just coffee, thanks. CARRIE LUCY CARRIE

(She begins shakily arranging a stack of papers on the table. LUCY stands watching her a moment.) LUCY Are you okay? (CARRIE and LUCY regard each other. For a moment, they seem to recognize something in each other.) CARRIE Am I okay. Yes. I think so. Why?

16 LUCY You seem a little (CARRIE opens her laptop.) Ahhhh! Youre a writer. CARRIE No. LUCY (Sitting down opposite Carrie) Yes you are. What do you write? CARRIE Im sorry, do you work here? LUCY Oh youll get your coffee. CARRIE You do work here. LUCY For about the next three minutes. And thats if Im real lucky. What do you write? CARRIE Im just ... Im working on ... its ... mostly research. For what? Look, I dont have a lot of time. LUCY CARRIE

LUCY Its 2 A.M. Where you gotta be? So youre writing a book. That is so great. CARRIE I could really use that coffee. Actually. LUCY How old are you? CARRIE Why do you want to know? LUCY Are you a wunderkind?

17 CARRIE Im twenty-three. LUCY So its too late! Thank God. Child prodigies suck ass. OK look, Im just going to go. CARRIE

LUCY Dont go. Whats your name? In case I want to go buy your book. CARRIE ... Caridad Beliveau. LUCY That is one fabulous moniker, Caridad. CARRIE Thanks. It means charity. I go by Carrie. LUCY So whats it about? Your book. CARRIE You really want to know? I do. Very much. LUCY

CARRIE Its ... Im researching the trajectory of mental illness in women who were kept in mental asylums against their will. (Beat. LUCY begins to chuckle.) LUCY Im going to bring you that coffee. And then Im going to tell you everything youll ever wanna know. Wait. Right. Here. (She exits, pointing back at Carrie, shaking her head and laughing.)

18 CARRIE (Smiling fondly, watching her go) Lucinda Gable. Age nineteen at the time of her first commitment. VIRGINIA (Off) Come see what I bought! (VIRGINIA barrels in and nearly runs over CARRIE. She has lots of shopping bags, which she drops on the floor. CARRIE is instantly thirteen.) CARRIE Where have you been? VIRGINIA Dont be thick, darling! Ive been shopping! CARRIE You're supposed to be finishing the work for your show. They've been calling and calling. You promised them you'd be done and get it shipped today. (Pulling out stacks and stacks of egg cartons from the bags) Eggs. Mom. VIRGINIA I was thinking we'd throw a brunch. With create-your-own omelets. Endless little piles of yummy ingredients. Wild mushrooms. Goat cheese. Caviar! And mango chutney! CARRIE These eggs are all broken. VIRGINIA Are they? Well shit. (VIRGINIA pulls a wig stand out of a bag and rips the wig off it, and puts it on.) Look at this, sweetie. It's real human hair. My mother had cancer. Her mother had cancer. So I'm due for it any day now and when I have my chemo and all my hair falls out, voila! I'll have this fabulous wig. I got you one too. Here, honey. Put it on. I don't want that. Oh, put it on, don't be such a cow! (Pulling out a silver urn) CARRIE VIRGINIA

19 VIRGINIA (CONTD.) Hey! Look at this. It cost the world and some change but it's exactly the one I want. Silver. Feel how heavy. Antique. Take it. Keep it safe. Because after I get cancer and my hair falls out and I wear this wig but it's all for naught because I nonetheless sicken and die, I want you to burn me up and put what's left of me in here. And keep me under your sweet little bed. Promise? CARRIE No. VIRGINIA Promise me. CARRIE You never keep any promises. VIRGINIA You're better than I am, kid. In every way. Youre the only truly good thing Ive ever done, you know that. CARRIE The show's in two weeks. You have to finish! You told them-(Doorbell.) VOICE (O.S.) Mrs. Beliveau. It's Dirk Rosen. Can I come in please? VIRGINIA Shit. CARRIE You didn't pay the rent ... VOICE Open the door, please. We need to talk. CARRIE You bought all this shit and you didn't even pay the rent? God damn you, Mom! (Vigorous pounding on the door. VIRGINIA clamps the wig more firmly on her head and puts on a pair of dark glasses. She picks up a painting from the rack along with the bags she brought in.) VOICE That wouldn't be a new car I saw you parking out there, would it, Mrs. B.?

20 CARRIE You bought another car?! It was so yellow! (Heading toward a window) Wait ten minutes then tell him I've gone to Ypsilanti. CARRIE Mom, no. VOICE Mrs. B? I know you're home--I saw you come in just now. Now, listen, I've been very patient. VIRGINIA Achh, hes such an asshole! VOICE I can hear you. (VIRGINIA turns to CARRIE, puts a finger to her lips and whispers.) VIRGINIA Ypsilanti. I'll be in touch. You owe me! VOICE VIRGINIA

CARRIE Don't do this! Mom! Don't leave me! VIRGINIA Mamas gotta keep moving, sweetie. But Mama loves you. You're Mamas best Friend in the world. Remember that. Always. Always! (VIRGINIA exits awkwardly out the window hauling paintings and bags along with her. The doorbell continues to ring as lights change. CARRIE moves to her laptop, and the relative safety of her research, as the lights change. We hear the sound of a lock and a heavy door creaking open. CHUDMANN stands waiting as a female ATTENDANT enters with ALICE. The ATTENDANT stands nearby as the scene proceeds. CARRIE watches.) ALICE You've come for me then!

21 CHUDMANN How are you, Alice? (Her relief turns to stiff anger.) ALICE I'm of sound mind, thank you. But then I think you know that. CHUDMANN You'd best speak to me civil. Have you come to take me home? ALICE

CHUDMANN Not till the doctor says you're all right to leave. Then call him in here. ALICE

CHUDMANN Wife. Listen to me now. You're not in a position, hear? A fit mother and wife, she'd ask about her children. Right at the start she'd ask. ALICE How are the children? They're fine. What have you told them? CHUDMANN ALICE

CHUDMANN I told them you needed a good long rest. ALICE You didn't tell them I was here though. (CHUDMANN shakes his head.) ...Thank you for that. CHUDMANN You've gone to the country. To take a cure. ALICE A cure for what?

22 CHUDMANN Lung ailment. Let me come home. That's not up / to me. Please. Please let me. ALICE CHUDMANN ALICE

CHUDMANN Doctor says you need to stay a while longer yet. I'll ... Ill tell the children the fresh air is doing you good. ALICE Please, Vance. I'm so alone here. People shriek all through the night. I can't sleep at all. Just last week one of the women died in her room. She did nothing but scream and moan, day and night. And I hated her, Vance. I did! I prayed that God would strike her dead if only to give me a tiny moment's peace. And then one night thescreaming stopped and all I heard was this terrible thudding sound. Like orangesbeing hurled against a wall. They found her the next morning. She'd smashed herhead against the stone floor and died right there, alone in the dark, bleeding inside her skull. CHUDMANN Well. She must have been ... very sick. ALICE Tell them you want me. To come home. CHUDMANN I'd like to, Alice. God knows I would. ALICE Then please! ... Think of the children. Uh-huh. The children. And the house must be a sight. CHUDMANN ALICE

CHUDMANN I got somebody coming in to straighten up.

23 ALICE Ahh. A woman. Whats that? CHUDMANN

ALICE You have a woman coming to the house. To straighten up. Is she someone I know? CHUDMANN She's hired help. ALICE And does she feed my children? CHUDMANN She does. Bakes them nice treats too. They like her well enough. ALICE Tell me what you want from me and I'll do it. CHUDMANN I just want you to be all right again. I miss you, Alice. I miss the way we used to be. ALICE I can't help that. We aren't those people anymore. CHUDMANN Who are we then? And just what kind of example you think you're setting for our children? They're scared to death of you. ALICE Liar! CHUDMANN You act all crazy, start throwing things around, shrieking like some kind of monster, what do you expect? ALICE My children are not afraid of me! CHUDMANN You get that wild look in your eye and you think they don't know to run and hide? ALICE Shame on you.

24 CHUDMANN No. Shame on you. Shame on you, Alice! We used to be a family! (She comes at him threateningly; he backs up and calls out to the ATTENDANT.) Watch her now! You'd best fetch the doctor. No. Don't! You going to behave yourself? Yes. CHUDMANN All right then. Here. I brought you something. (He pulls out a folded piece of paper with a child's drawing on it and hands it to her.) Tabby made it in school. I thought you'd like to have it. (ALICE gazes at the drawing for a few moments, presses her face to it and inhales deeply, then clasps it to her heart. CHUDMANN puts on his hat, and exits. ALICE turns to speak to Chudmann and realizes she is once again alone. Music rises. The light on ALICE fades and gets brighter on CARRIE who is back in the coffee shop with her laptop. LUCY enters and sits.) CARRIE Im really happy you agreed to let me interview you, Lucy. Im trying to reach across afew different periods, you know, so I really needed a contemporary voice in there. So thank you. LUCY We aim to please here in Crazy Town, USA. CARRIE Ha. OK, so Im going to ask you a brief series of questions, and of course your responses will be kept strictly confidential. I want you to speak freely. ALICE CHUDMANN ALICE

25 LUCY Look at you. Quite the little social worker. OK. Im ready. When were you first diagnosed? Are you offended already? CARRIE LUCY

CARRIE Not at all. I just thought Id go ahead and stick to my script. So. When were you first diagnosed, Lucy? LUCY Oh, its been quite a while, Caridad. CARRIE And how old are you now? Ancient. A withered hag. Any family history? Of? Mental illness. LUCY Nope. You? CARRIE We agreed: were not talking about me. LUCY Do you have a real job? CARRIE Come on. We need to get started. When did you first know there was something wrong? LUCY How do you mean? LUCY CARRIE LUCY CARRIE

26 CARRIE When did you realize that you were that you had a ... I mean LUCY I was a kid. I was different from other kids. It became clear. In what sense? CARRIE

LUCY Sometimes I saw things. Different things. From what other people were seeing. CARRIE You had episodes. LUCY I didn't call them that. CARRIE What did you call them? LUCY I didn't have a name for them. CARRIE Are you sure? Not even a private one? LUCY They were just part of the way the world was. CARRIE Okay. May I call them episodes just for now, Lucy? If you want, Carrie. LUCY

CARRIE You've had a number of you've had them as an adult. LUCY Oh yeah. I'm what's called a rapid cycler, which means / I swing from one extreme CARRIE I know what it means. So when you have one of these is there a particular way it starts? Can you describe that for me, Lucy?

27 LUCY It's always different. But. I would say. Usually. I start to see things out of the corner of my eye. CARRIE What things? Go on, Lucy. Don't be nervous. What things? LUCY Movements. Things darting. Or sometimes crawling. Patterns start to shift around. I can't see it from straight on, but there's movement in the corners and on all the sides. The most ordinary things suddenly have all this pattern. Layers and layers of it. I try to make it out, but I can't--it goes too deep. CARRIE What else? LUCY Halos on lights. Reflections. The world gets too bright. Everything glares. Anything else? Noises. Voices? CARRIE LUCY CARRIE

LUCY Sort of. It's like there are people talking in the next room, but low so I can't make it out. Muttering or whispered mumbling kind of and then there's a beat sometimes too, in the background, steady, like a drum beat. Some kind of signal. (We become aware that we have been hearing this signal almost from the top of the scene.) CARRIE A signal Then what? LUCY Then I start to see things more from straight on. Things I know can't actually be. I'll assume something's just inside my head and then suddenly I'll see it, real, right there in front of me. CARRIE Such as?

28 LUCY My dead grandma on TV. Being interviewed by some talk-show guy. Laughing and saying "cunt cunt cunt" and pounding on the arm of her chair. And then suddenly she's here in the room. Doing that. CARRIE What else? LUCY Touching herself and licking the back of her hand. And. Sometimes more magical things. Like once I saw my cat on the kitchen counter opening a can of food with a single sequined claw. CARRIE Anything else? LUCY Oh God, tons else. Sometimes the radiator sings. Steam coming through the pipes? CARRIE

LUCY Youd think. But no. It's singing. Inside the radiator. A choir of high, sweet voices. Like church. And then, for example, I'll see every single note, right there, flying out of the radiator, like a cartoon almost, each one's etched on the air. So perfect. (We hear the radiator choir. CARRIE doesn't hear it.) CARRIE Do you come from a religious background, Lucy? LUCY Not particularly. CARRIE And no family history of mental illness. ... What happens when you hear and see these things? LUCY Sometimes I get out in time. CARRIE You do.

29 LUCY Sometimes. If I call my doc right away. And do you do that? If I can. And if not? Then I'm just in it. CARRIE So what happens then? LUCY Well, Carrie. Then someone has to come and fish me out. CARRIE So whether you go "in" or not, that's a choice. LUCY No. When I'm in it, I'm just in it. CARRIE But before that. Things are speeding up and you know that not everything is real you know at that point that you can call the doctor. LUCY Right. CARRIE Ergo it's a choice. LUCY "Ergo"? No. It's not. CARRIE You just said-It's not exactly a choice. LUCY CARRIE LUCY CARRIE LUCY

30 CARRIE Based on what you just said-LUCY No. Sometimes it's only that I can't help staying. All right. That's called nuance. You're saying it's never a choice. LUCY You're not listening. CARRIE I'm trying to be clear. LUCY Hate to disappoint you, princess. CARRIE ... What did you just--? Why did you say that to me? LUCY You already have all your answers. CARRIE I don't have any answers. That's why I'm here. That's not why. LUCY CARRIE LUCY CARRIE

CARRIE I just want to understand it, I need to--. LUCY What? Get it to make sense? It doesnt. CARRIE Im sorry. Ill ... I only want to understand. I do. Please. LUCY Then listen.

31 CARRIE All right. No. I mean. Listen. LUCY

CARRIE (Putting her hand on Lucys arm) I'm trying. LUCY It's not a choice when you're in it. Because there are times when you just can't imagine the impossible beauty of it. (Beat. CARRIE finally nods.) I bet you're actually very sweet. CARRIE I am. I'm very sweet. LUCY I bet you are. ... All right then. How It Is. Part One. ... Im lying on my back looking up at a night sky so jammed with stars that it transforms into reflections on water ... or ... a pointillist painting done in Christmas tree lights. Orion waves and beckons me to join him in the hunt ... Cassiopeia steps out of a shimmering bath and gazes at herself in a mirror of even more brilliant light. I can hear the music of the universe and what was above me is suddenly all around me, lifting me till I see that gravity has no meaning now that I've come untethered and can sail off, and so I rise and I rise shooting out into the starscape letting laughter stream out behind me like the tail of a comet everything makes sense now and I can take it for granted now it's all happening, all now, all at once, everything at the same exact moment. CARRIE My God, that must be so amazing. LUCY Oh, believe me. Only problem is that sooner or later I come crashing back down to earth. ... But I tell you what, Caridad. If I could? I'd stay up there forever. (LUCY exits as lights rise on another part of the stage revealing VIRGINIA staring out a window, transfixed, paintbrush in hand. CARRIE, now sixteen, turns and enters this world.) What is it? CARRIE

32 VIRGINIA The light What about it? CARRIE

VIRGINIA It's perfect. Did you see? Come here. How was today? You didn't look. CARRIE Everything all right? VIRGINIA Just look. CARRIE I don't have to look. I was just out there. VIRGINIA The whole city is bathed in it... CARRIE Did you eat anything today? Mother. I'll fix you something. VIRGINIA No! Stay right here. Tell me things. Tell me what you do out there in the world. It's not all that scintillating, Ma. Come on. Tell me. Enchant me. CARRIE I go to school. I come home. I talk to you, try to get you to eat. Then. The next day? I do it all over again. How old are you getting to be? VIRGINIA CARRIE VIRGINIA CARRIE VIRGINIA

33 CARRIE This is something you should know. Just tell me. Do the math. You're equipped. (Studying her) Do the other kids like you? I am so incredibly popular. VIRGINIA Ha. Seriously. Ha redux. CARRIE VIRGINIA VIRGINIA CARRIE VIRGINIA

CARRIE

CARRIE You should see my big huge posse. VIRGINIA I bet you scare the crap out of them with that spooky stare of yours. (They stare at each other for a long moment. It is, perhaps, a little spooky.) CARRIE I'm going to make you a grilled cheese. VIRGINIA No. Come here. I want to tell you this because its important. You don't try to fit in; that's why they despise you. They don't despise me. CARRIE

VIRGINIA I bet they think you're bookish. Do they? I bet they say "That Carrie, she's so bookish."

34

I am bookish.

CARRIE

VIRGINIA No. You're not. You're a scholar. You're a seeker. I hated high school too. CARRIE I dont hate it. VIRGINIA Bunch of fucking dim-bulbs. CARRIE Okay, Mom. VIRGINIA You don't try to fit in and I am so goddam proud of you. Thats just great. CARRIE

VIRGINIA Ill be so disappointed if you turn out to be ordinary. Don't be like them. I won't. Promise me. CARRIE I promise. VIRGINIA Swear on your mother's grave. CARRIE Mom. VIRGINIA We're not like them. So there's really no point in trying. This is not a normal conversation. CARRIE CARRIE VIRGINIA

35 VIRGINIA What? CARRIE You asked me to tell you when youre not acting right. Well. Youre not. Youre acting weird again. And youve been wearing the same clothes for the last week. So now I need to give you a bath and wash your hair. (VIRGINIA laughs in a fake-crazy way, rolls her eyes around, and hugs herself as if shes wearing a straitjacket.) CARRIE Right. I'm calling the doctor. Shell get you fixed up. VIRGINIA No! Never again. I don't recognize myself when I'm on that stuff. I don't even know who I am. CARRIE You're you only not crazy. VIRGINIA That's not living! Please. We wont talk about it anymore. Sit here. Just like this, my sweet princess. You in this light. Frozen in time. My beautiful bookish baby girl. So I can keep you just this close. Always. Come here. Shall I tell you the story? Would you like that? (Almost against her will) Yes. VIRGINIA Come here. (CARRIE crosses to her and sits. VIRGINIA leans over and kisses the top of her head.) VIRGINIA "It was forbidden to enter The Woods, but that, you see, is precisely why she wanted to go. Where else was she to find the necessary magic? Surely not in the bustling streets of the village. For there things were actual and finite and not the least bit magical. There things were measured and counted and doled out in small amber bottles scrawled with unpronounceable names. Professional seers with watery eyes and droning voices mouthed these names to the villagers, who drew back in awe and began to take it for granted that they themselves knew nothing. Their ancient remedies were soon forgotten. Their dreams grew rare and could not be trusted. And then it was decreed: only things that droning voices could CARRIE

36 speak and that tiny minds could imagine and that squinty blurred eyes could see were to be considered real. All the rest was forbidden. ... (Beat. VIRGINIA moves to the painting she was working on. She begins to dab at the canvas.) But it was magic she needed now. And so it was that she set off ... in search of a particular quality of light. The one that could not be explained in syllables, sentences, or ultimatums. The one she would find only in The Woods." (The light behind VIRGINIA glows. CARRIE is drawn to it.) CARRIE How old am I? VIRGINIA You're sixteen. [Suddenly realizing] Today. (CARRIE moves to VIRGINIA, hugs her very tightly; VIRGINIA kisses her face, and then pushes her away and begins to paint once more. CARRIE looks at the painting.) VIRGINIA Im calling it She Survives the Storm. CARRIE Its me. VIRGINIA Well, of course it is. Who else would it be? (CARRIE is drawn out of this scene as lights rise on JANE, seated on a bench, a black veil over her face. DOCTOR enters.) DOCTOR Go home, Miss Yaeger. I'm not well. JANE

DOCTOR I'm sorry about your father. But you have been released. I'm not ready. JANE

DOCTOR This is not a hotel, Miss Yaeger. Go.

37 JANE Let me stay. I'll wash the floor. I'll do the laundry. I'll mend the linens! You can do those things at home. DOCTOR

JANE That hasnt been my home for nine years! Youll get used to it again. DOCTOR

JANE But ... I see him everywhere in that house. DOCTOR Who is it you see, Miss Yaeger? JANE The Reverend. On the stair. Rummaging in the pantry. DOCTOR (Sitting down beside her, taking her hand, and speaking gently) Listen to me. Your father has passed away. It is a sad but natural thing. You won't see him ever again and that is very painful, I'm sure. But you're a human being, and human beings experience pain. They move past it and into the rest of their lives. That is how the world works. Do what he would have wanted you to do. Read your Bible, pray, and try to think pleasant thoughts. (JANE nods. DOCTOR exits. JANE rises and takes a few tentative steps, looks at CARRIE, who nods encouragement. JANE then exits as VIRGINIA is discovered inside another frame.) VIRGINIA It was such a long way to The Woods! Princess Charity hadn't counted on that. Yet though she had walked for hours and the landscape had gone through a great many changes, and she had even begun to feel little bits of magic bumping up against her now and again, still she did not reach the edge of The Woods. As the moon rose overhead she came upon a crossroads. There was no signpost to guide her and neither road gave any sort of clue as to what lay ahead. She stood for a long time, paralyzed, hamstrung by her own indecisiveness. Perhaps she would never find her magic. Perhaps she would trudge back to the village and live in a box for the rest of her days. All these perhapses began puddling around her feet and she was on the verge of giving up, when an ancient voice spoke from inside her head. Take only what you can carry. Guard what is most precious. And always--always--choose the path you make for yourself.

38 (A huge glowing moon appears high above the playing area. We hear night birds and far-off music. In a separate light, we see CARRIE still at her laptop, watching and listening with childlike attention. VIRGINIA moves forward like a baby taking its tentative first steps. Laughing, she waves at Carrie.) VIRGINIA (CONTD.) That's all for now, my onliest girl. Goodnight! Goodnight! Till morning's first light. ... (She sets off, moving into a separate light as the sound of garbled whispering erupts from various points around the stage. As the radiator choir begins to play, light gets very bright on VIRGINIA and lights also rise on ALICE and JANE, inside separate frames.) VIRGINIA "How It Is!" Another view! JANE Think. ALICE Any thought. JANE There! Are you thinking? No! VIRGINIA Yes you are. I see you. It's all right. Keep doing that. Its all right as long as you don't think about thinking. ALICE VIRGINIA ALICE VIRGINIA ALICE JANE

39 JANE Shh! Don't think! Shh! VIRGINIA Now I've done it. Oh, I've done it now. I've said "think." ALICE

JANE Take it back! If I take it back right now-ALICE No use. I'm thinking. JANE Mustn't do that. Mustn't think. VIRGINIA Think is a five letter word that rhymes with stink. ALICE Clink. JANE Wink. Kitchen sink. ALICE

VIRGINIA Rinky-dink. Think is a five-letter word consisting of four consonants and one vowel that wears a dot for a hat. And now I see it's too late. I'm thinking. ALICE I'm thinking about thinking. JANE Every thought/ ALICE About having that thought/ About thinking that thought/ JANE

40 ALICE Think about something else! Again I said think/ I thought think/ I am think/ /ing. I am think-ing. ALICE Which is normal ... I think/ JANE /about thinking/ ALICE /Which is not. "Normal." VIRGINIA A circle. Yes! Think about a circle. VIRGINIA Did you say think? JANE Imagine! A circle. [Laughs] Of thinking. VIRGINIA JANE JANE VIRGINIA ALICE JANE

ALICE Controlled thinking. Only you can control your thinking. Stop! JANE VIRGINIA (Smiling, dangerous) I can't stop/

41

Thinking/ about thinking/

ALICE JANE ALICE

I can't/ JANE I can't/ VIRGINIA I CANT/ ALL STOP! (Shrieking)

(A light rises on CARRIE sitting alone. Elsewhere a light comes up on LUCY with a bottle of wine and two glasses.) LUCY (To Carrie) Any further questions? CARRIE What do you mean by that? JANE Think. Think. No. VIRGINIA Don't think. (Lights go out on ALICE, VIRGINIA, and JANE. CARRIE crosses and sits at a small table where LUCY is setting down the wine and a tray with glasses, etc. Soft music plays in the background.) (Very softly) ALICE JANE

42 LUCY I mean: This isn't a conversation. It's just another interview. CARRIE Well. Thats not my intention. Im trying to get to know you. So I can understand what it is that you LUCY But dont you hear yourself? Its so clinical. CARRIE I mean, Lucy, this is a case study after all. LUCY Right. Which is exactly why its not a conversation. Weve made it look like one. Theres food, theres wine. You wore a cute top. I sweated over my makeup. But we might as well be in an office. Or a clinic. Im just saying. Youre accomplishing your purpose. But you can't get to know someone that way.... Or any other way, really, come to think of it. CARRIE So what are you saying? No one really knows anyone? LUCY That is what Im saying. CARRIE This is a sad little theory you have. LUCY Why's that sad? My God, everyones hauling around this sordid little epic called personal experience ... its every second of every day, but in the end we should all maybe go ahead and cop to the fact that its just too particular--too individualto actually share. No matter how much we might want to. CARRIE So no matter how much you and I spend together we'll never actually know each other. LUCY Id say thats pretty accurate, given the fact that you never tell me anything about yourself. Do you realize that? No personal anecdotes. No likes or dislikes. Nothing. But I've learned, see. You could describe a single minute of your day in the most excruciating detail--you could spend hours, no days, trying to get me inside just that sixty seconds--but I'd still only know what it was like based on what you were conscious of and chose to tell me plus how adept you were at describing that multiplied by my interpretation. Eat. And even if I listen as

43 LUCY (CONTD.) closely as I ever have in my life, which in this particular case I would, there's this huge part of that one minute, its essence, that will always be unknown to anyone except you. Eat. CARRIE Its really good. LUCY Wow. I wish you could see how beautiful your throat looks when you do that. ... Anyway, my point is that human relationships are all interpretation and chemistry. If I like my interpretation of you enough, and you like yours of me enough, then certain chemical things might start to happen and one thing could lead to another, but it's only as real as either one of us decides to let it be. CARRIE Interesting. LUCY But in the end, I suppose none of it really matters anyway. Since it all leads, inevitably, to death. Alone. Naturally. ... Oh-oh. Now youre getting all jittery. No, no. No. CARRIE

LUCY Youre like a little bunny, poking your nose out and then whoops! So scary out here! Better pull it back in! Here, bunny, bunny, bunny. Theres more wine. CARRIE No thanks. LUCY I'm not saying we shouldnt strive. Im all about striving. Stop striving and, man, it is over. But were all striving based on our own cosmically unique interpretation. Thats really all Im trying to say. So. Tell me. What's your interpretation of me? I haven't formed one yet. CARRIE

LUCY Hmm. All right. Let me give you my interpretation of your interpretation of me. I fulfill a function. I spew out information you feel you need. And the reason you're interested in whatever I might have to say in the first place is because you know Im a whack-job. Just like your mom. And maybe like you too. ... And its that maybe that scares you the most. Howm I doing so far?

44 CARRIE That's not how I would-LUCY No, no. That's just my interpretation. Tell me about your mom. Nice segue. How did she die? CARRIE LUCY

CARRIE I dont want to go into that. I cant ... I dont talk about it. LUCY Id be about the last person on the planet to ever judge you. CARRIE I know. But. LUCY What are you so afraid of? Its over. Its in the past. It cant hurt you now. CARRIE Cant it? Huh-uh. Promise. (Longish beat) CARRIE I had planned to see her. To be there. That day. But you didn't make it? No. No, I didnt make it. LUCY CARRIE LUCY

LUCY Go on. Youre okay. Youre totally safe. CARRIE I almost went. But then I figured, its just a few days till Christmas, Ill just wait till next week and see her on the holiday. Which, I admit, was pretty shitty. But

45 CARRIE (CONTD.) she was taking over again. And I was starting to feel like, I don't know, like I was living her life, not my own--and I didn't--I couldn't ... I had to finally ... set some boundaries and stick to them. And then she called me and she was so I just couldnt let her have her way one more time (LUCY pats Carries shoulder gently, motions for her to go on. Instead, CARRIE suddenly takes Lucys face in her hands and kisses her.) Wow. I dont know why I did that. LUCY No? Here, let me help you figure it out. (Very slowly, LUCY begins to kiss Carries hands. Eyes locked, she peels back one of Carries sleeves; Carrie resists slightly. LUCY touches her face and then gently strokes her wrist and forearm before noticing several long jagged scars there. CARRIE pulls away sharply.) LUCY Ohhh oh, honey. Wow. CARRIE I have to go now. LUCY Im sorry. I didnt know CARRIE Of course not, why would you? I need to get out of here. No. No you dont. What for? Stay. I cant. Im sorry. Hey ... Dont! I have to go! LUCY CARRIE LUCY CARRIE LUCY CARRIE

46 LUCY Well then get the fuck out of here. What are you waiting for? (LUCY exits. CARRIE stands a moment looking after her, then exits. The radiator choir rises and there is a persistent clang and a thumping sound. As CARRIE crosses the stage, VIRGINIA appears in light stepping right in front of her, all wound up, out of control and skittery. She wears only one shoe.) VIRGINIA She had come to The Woods at last! She stood under a canopy of ancient trees and gazed this way and that. Here, she would find her magic. Here and now her real life would begin. She tried to remember the village of her birth but she could not bring to mind a single detail. But long shadows were closing in all around her and she knew it would soon be very, very dark. She was, she could see now ... completely alone. (The two stand there face to face. A huge metallic slam as the lights go quickly to black.)

47 ACT TWO (The sound of wind. As lights slowly rise we again hear voices whispering from all over the theatre. JANE sits on a chair inside her frame doing needlepoint. ALICE is crumpled inside her frame. She is much changed since last we saw her. CARRIE is discovered in the glow of her laptop. As the whispering fades ...) JANE (Hearing a noise and calling out into the darkness) I know youre there! (Alice rises. A creaking sound. She begins to pace the perimeter of a square of light on the floor. Her steps are small and quick; she counts them under her breath. This goes on for a few moments. Then she stops and turns abruptly to the audience. With one foot she steps on a creaky floorboard over and over again.) ALICE The names of my children. Harry. The athlete. Strong and solid, slow to smile. A quiet child. Cole. The peacemaker, the little politician. Cole. And Tabitha called Tabby. Always laughing, playing tricks. Hot tempered, her little cheeks so pink when she's in a passion. Her pigtails constantly coming undone. Her tiny face filled up with a pair of enormous adult eyes. So deeply, deeply blue. She was not yet six when I was taken away. The names of my children. I will not forget. I will not. Harry. Tabitha called Tabby. Cole. And the dog. Its name was no, wait. There was no dog. Not then. The dog was when I was a girl. So long ago that was. And there are so many things to remember. (She begins to traverse the perimeter of the square again, counting softly under her breath as the lights fade on her. On another part of the stage fluorescent lighting sputters up. Muzak. The low burble of a TV. VIRGINIA sits slumped in a wheelchair staring blankly off. Her wrists are thickly bandaged. A male ORDERLY stands nearby. CARRIE crosses into this world. She is twenty. She sits down next to VIRGINIA. After several moments, VIRGINIA speaks.) VIRGINIA Really fucked it up this time, didn't I? CARRIE Yep. You did. Is that your bodyguard? VIRGINIA That's Mongo. Better not piss him off.

48

CARRIE He aint so tough. I bet I could take him. (VIRGINIA chuckles a little.) How long am I in for? VIRGINIA

CARRIE That has yet to be determined. Eat, take your meds, generally behave yourself, and it won't take so long. VIRGINIA I don't like it here. CARRIE No. You never do. VIRGINIA Somebody's awful cwanky wiff me. Stop that. What? The baby talk. I can't stand it. VIRGINIA I'm reverting to childhood. CARRIE Lucky you with a childhood and everything. VIRGINIA Oh, now gimme a break. CARRIE I'm moving out, Mother. I'll be gone by the time you get home. (A beat. VIRGINIA covers her face with her hands.) I'm sorry. I can't do it anymore. CARRIE VIRGINIA CARRIE

49 VIRGINIA Okay ... CARRIE I have to start figuring out my own stuff. Right ... I'm not mad at you. Well. That's good. CARRIE You always think I'm mad at you when you're like this, but honestly, Mother, all I'm trying to do is-VIRGINIA Oh, for fuck's sake, quit bucking for sainthood! I'm not. CARRIE VIRGINIA CARRIE VIRGINIA

VIRGINIA Carrie, please don't leave. I can't make it without you. ... Is that what you want to hear? CARRIE I just want you to be honest. VIRGINIA Why does everyone always think they want that? That's what liars wonder. CARRIE

VIRGINIA Oh no. You do not get to say that. I've never lied to you. CARRIE I'm supposed to keep you calm, so we better stop right here. VIRGINIA Oh, go ahead. Say it all. I'm sedated enough.

50 CARRIE Right, so what difference will it make? Thirty seconds after I leave you'll forget I was even here. (ORDERLY coughs slightly. CARRIE and VIRGINIA begin to whisper.) When have I ever lied to you? VIRGINIA

CARRIE You never tell the truth! You bring shit home and you say you paid for it or you will pay for it but then you never do pay for it. You make appointments and dont show up for them. You commit to deadlines, but you never meet them. You trash apartments, but you don't pay the rent. And whenever things finally get down to some moment of truth, well, here we are again. VIRGINIA See, this is why you don't have any friends. CARRIE And you say really rotten things just so you can feel like you won. VIRGINIA That poor kid with the constantly running nose and the bilateral lisp doesn't count. God, she was a klutz: pigeon-toed, cross-eyed. She had it all. She wasn't retarded, too, was she? What was her name? Sheri Von Hermann. What ever happened to her? CARRIE VIRGINIA

CARRIE She got run over by a car when we were in third grade. (VIRGINIA stifles a laugh.) She was killed instantly, Mom. VIRGINIA I'm sorry. I know it's not funny. (VIRGINIA tries to stop but can't. CARRIE rises.) CARRIE I'm going.

51 VIRGINIA Hug first? CARRIE Oh, for God's sake, will you shut up! (VIRGINIA tries to rise from the wheelchair but CARRIE shoves her back down.) No, god damn it! Just fucking stay put! Hey. You take it easy now, miss. ORDERLY

(CARRIE turns to exit then stops.) CARRIE I don't have friends because I don't trust anybody. And I don't trust anybody because I could never trust you. It's not your fault, not completely, I know that. But you have never been a good example. And I'm done cleaning up after you. VIRGINIA You're not out of the woods yet, you know. Not by a long shot. It didn't show up in me till I was twenty-four years old! I hope you never have to find out what it's like. CARRIE I already know what it's like! (The ORDERLY wheels VIRGINIA off. CARRIE watches them go.) CARRIE From the long list of things I never told her. (Sound of footsteps and traffic fades in.) I discover myself walking along a sidewalk. The first thing I notice is the sound of my shoes on cement and cars going by on the road running alongside me. The sky is so bright it makes me wince. Something's wrong but I don't know what it is. Gradually I realize that I don't recognize this place. At all. It's a foreign landscape or something out of a dream. But there's another thought crowding right behind. And when that thought takes shape, I stop walking: "You don't know who you are." You're standing here. Suddenly rooted like some ancient tree. You've arrived at this spot. Did you come here on purpose? You check yourself for injuries. Wounds. Tattoos. You notice you're carrying a purse so you open it up, look inside. A tube of lipgloss. A comb. A piece of chewing gum in a green wrapper. A wad of lint. Nothing to identify this person who is you. How old are you? Who do you belong to? Where are you headed? Which way is home? ... It's as if you've just been born. ... With your newborn eyes you scan the horizon. A cluster of low buildings. A bench. You go to it, slogging through the strange air, which resists

52 CARRIE (CONTD) you, seems to push you back. On the bench is a book--Chemistry in the Community, Fourth Edition--and you open it. On the first page, in an absurdly girlish hand: "Caridad Beliveau." ... And you know that wherever you've been these past minutes, hours, or days you have managed to get backyou areI amonce again this someone, this me, sixteen years old. Today. This is my book. That over there is my school. I understand. I misplaced my self for a bit. But now, maybe due to pure dumb luck, I've found it again. So from here on, I must always be vigilant. (CARRIE turns to watch as light rises on Jane inside her frame doing needlepoint. We hear the sound of wind--it echoes the radiator from the earlier scene a bit. JANE stiffens. The sound gets louder--it is mournful, insistent. Then we hear the sound of breathing--raspy, gasping, horrible. JANE shudders and attempts to ignore it. Finally she ceases her handwork again.) JANE You neednt think you can frighten me any longer, old man. Youre dead now, and your God died with you. So you might just as well stop all this and go along to ... well, you know exactly where it is youre going, dont you? You cant put it off forever. You wont need a sweater there, I can assure you of that! (The wind rises again and there is the sound of a bell (or a radiator) clanging, as the REVEREND shambles in. JANE rises instantly and cowers away from him. But the REVEREND passes her without appearing to notice her. He is babbling incoherently. JANE collapses into her chair, whimpering. He crosses straight through and is gone. After a moment, JANE begins her needlepoint again but her hands are shaking like mad. She stops. Holds up the needle.) JANE (CONTD) Mustnt. This time, this time I really truly mustnt. Ive got to keep hold of myself! (But she rakes the needle across her arm and the sweet relief of it shows on her face immediately. Once again, she seems to see CARRIE across the space of time. CARRIE pulls up her sleeve, shows the scars. JANE turns away and hides the needle as the lights change. ALICE is huddled on the floor inside her framed box, scrawling on the floor with a nail. DOCTOR and CHUDMANN enter in a separate light.) DOCTOR It is time to give up the quest, Mr. Chudmann. The latest specialist, like so many before him, has concurred with me. There can be no doubt. My original diagnosis stands. Your wife suffers from dementia praecox. I'm sorry.

53 CHUDMANN So it's hopeless. DOCTOR I'm afraid so. The memory loss. Cognitive disintegration. Hallucinations. Theyre all functions of your wife's condition. CHUDMANN Maybe shed have been better off with her sister after all. DOCTOR She needs institutional care. CHUDMANN But isnt it just possible that perhaps shed--? DOCTOR Your wife is deranged and as such she is dangerous--to herself and others. She requires full-time care. Besides which. It was your choice to put her here. CHUDMANN I know that. DOCTOR The correct choice, I would say. After all these years, she knows no other life. Mrs. Chudmann is as close to content here as she will ever be. I warn you: dont stir up the waters. It can only do her harm. CHUDMANN I dont know. I dont know. Her sister-DOCTOR Fobbing a sick woman off onto relatives is not a cure, sir. And you told me her sister died several years ago. What would have happened to your wife then, I wonder? CHUDMANN But she never used to be like this! DOCTOR Not surprising. The illness is degenerative. CHUDMANN She's worse since she's been here. DOCTOR You're saying?

54 CHUDMANN She's worse now. DOCTOR Worse than the time she intentionally put her hand in the stove, Mr. Chudmann? Worse than the day she let fly the paperweight that dislodged your front teeth? CHUDMANN Yes. She was wrought up but she was more herself then. DOCTOR "Herself" being violent and irrational? (Beat) We live in the present, sir. The past is always behind us. Would you ever leave this poor creature alone with your children? ... I thought not. (CHUDMANN finally nods. He and the DOCTOR approach ALICE. She turns to them, wild-eyed, and stares at CHUDMANN for a long moment.) CHUDMANN Hello, Alice. [She looks away and does not answer] Youre looking well. (CHUDMANN comes closer, his hand extended as if to take hold of hers. ALICE lets him get right up to her and then she opens her mouth and shrieks into his face, hitting him repeatedly in the chest and clawing at his eyes. The noise is sustained and bloodcurdling and the men are completely undone by it. A female ATTENDANT rushes in with a straightjacket and she and the doctor manage to get Alice into it and gag her mouth as, stunned, CHUDMANN attempts to recover himself.) DOCTOR Get her out of here! (ATTENDANT hustles Alice off. Beat.) You see the way she is? (The lights fade on this scene as CARRIE crosses and enters the present where LUCY sits waiting, arms folded.) LUCY How It Is. Part Three. People leave. They miss the person they thought I was. They get freaked out, lose patience. Get fed up. Makes sense. It does. I am an energy-sucking vampire. They try, God knows they do. But let's face it: Im a lot of work. Just for the record, though. So are you. CARRIE Ive wrecked everything, didnt I? Im so sorry. Ive. Really missed you.

55 LUCY Yeah well. CARRIE I went looking for you at the coffee shop. I quit that hellhole. They told me. I got fired // actually. CARRIE Yeah. ... So thanks for returning my call. LUCY Youre welcome. But we should talk about the other night. CARRIE Do we really have to dredge all that up? LUCY Yes. Its what humans do. We dredge. It usually saves time later. Anyway. It was my fault. I mean, dont get me wrong, you were an assholeafter all, you did kiss me, as I recall, not vice versa. But then I got in a rush. Which is my MO. It's a thing you need to know about me. For your research. The second I feel good, I start trying to make everything go faster. I mean, I know that everything's really fragile, but instead of just being okay with that, with being in the moment, I bump up the velocity. And then when I saw the, your ya know, I guess, well, that was surprising. I mean, I get it. I dont // judge you, but// is that like a thing with you or? CARRIE No. God, no. I dont do it anymore. Ever. Not since I was sixteen. OK. Its the // truth. LUCY CARRIE LUCY CARRIE LUCY

LUCY Anyhow, bottom line? I like you Carrie. I dont why I should but I do. So I called you back.

56 CARRIE Well. I like you too, Lucy. LUCY Great. Thats settled. So since were friends and all maybe we could meet at your place next time. CARRIE What? Why? LUCY Why not, friend? I want to see how you live. ... Cmon. Say yes. CARRIE ... All right. I just have to get a couple things first. LUCY Like what? Furniture? CARRIE

LUCY I had an uncle like that. You'd open a drawer in his kitchen and there'd be one spoon in there. And in the cupboard there'd be a cup and a bowl. CARRIE I'm not that bad. But I do need to furnish. LUCY You're afraid to have me in your house. CARRIE No. No, I'm not. LUCY At least say it like you might mean it someday. CARRIE I do mean it. I just ... need to get a chair first. A chair. LUCY

CARRIE You know. A comfy chair. A chair for a guest. And then you can come over.

57 LUCY And youll interview me on the concept of "home." (Laughing) No. Youll just come over. Like any normal person. CARRIE Whatever that is. Yes. LUCY A comfy chair. CARRIE Right. You ready to get started? (CARRIE turns on the tape recorder. LUCY turns it off. CARRIE patiently turns it back on. Music rises as lights change to reveal PLAID CRANSTON, standing there in his pharmacy smock. A bell tinkles. CARRIE turns and watches as JANE enters the pharmacy.) JANE Mr. Cranston. Why, Miss Yaeger. How are you? CRANSTON CARRIE

LUCY

JANE I've come to ask if you'll still have me. If Ill--? ... I beg your pardon? CRANSTON

JANE If I'm not too old and ugly Id be willing to make you a wife now. CRANSTON Oh my. Well. But you're not ugly at all, Miss Yaeger. JANE You'll have me then. CRANSTON Well. I ... That is to say ... I ...

58 JANE Well? CRANSTON Its only that ... well ... youve caught me unawares and ... I ... well. I was just doing my inventory, you see, and I ... you are joking, arent you? JANE Of course Im not! CRANSTON Yes, well, I didnt think so. Miss Yaeger, you see, I ... I-JANE Why on earth do you stammer like that? Dont you know your own mind? CRANSTON Im not always sure I do quite. Miss Yaeger. Would you ? Can I get you--? Would you care for a peppermint stick? JANE A peppermint stick? I'm offering you my hand in marriage. CRANSTON Yes, I see. I do see. (Pause; he hands her a peppermint stick. She stands there holding it. Beat.) JANE I feel very foolish now. CRANSTON Oh, no. No, now you mustn't. JANE After all, you did propose to me once. In our front room. I wore my scarlet silk with the black lace sleeves. And my jet pendant. CRANSTON Oh, well, yes. That. Was years ago. JANE And clearly you've never since taken a wife. I'm not as eccentric as people say! Oh yes, I'm quite aware of how they whisper and gossip--

59 CRANSTON No, no it's not that. I'm afraid you're looking at that rare breed: A Confirmed Bachelor. JANE I know I've spent some time up on the hill, but you did love me once. CRANSTON I thought ... very highly of you. JANE And you loved me. ... Didnt you? CRANSTON I suppose I loved you exactly as you loved me. JANE Well, then why ever did you ask me to marry you! CRANSTON Will you promise me you won't get emotional? . . . I thought you were very clever. Is that all? JANE

CRANSTON And, well rather jolly. Whimsical. JANE "Whimsical." CRANSTON And I was none of those things. JANE You certainly weren't. CRANSTON (Nervously knuckling his ear) But I thought it would be pleasant. To have you near me. I thought you might make my shop--and my home, I suppose--a little, well, brighter. Also I felt sorry for you. Sorry for me! How dare you? JANE

60 CRANSTON I couldnt help it. It was your father, you see. He was always ... so stern. So unyielding. You tried so very hard to please him or so it always seemed to me. You would sing and play the piano. All of that was for him, yet there he would sit in that huge chair of his staring straight ahead without a trace of pride or enjoyment. I hated him for that, may he rest in peace. JANE I hated him for that too! And you may be sure he does not rest in peace. CRANSTON I wanted to you take away from that house. JANE Oh, I was taken away all right. CRANSTON Oh. Yes. I realize. I'm sorry. I've sold it. The Reverend's house? JANE CRANSTON

JANE Mine. He would have left it to Mother but she died not long before he did and so it went to me. But he's never really taken leave of the premises. CRANSTON I imagine that's so. A man lives in a house for forty-odd years and-JANE That doesn't give him the right to lurk in the pantry and move things about in there! Sometimes I find him inside my closet sticking his big craggy feet into my shoes. And just try keeping the place picked up! He was a stickler in life, but in the hereafter he's nothing better to do than to break knickknacks and set pictures crooked on the wall. He used to terrify me, chasing after me babbling out broken Scripture and foaming at the mouth, but over the years hes come to resemble nothing so much as a great lumbering idiot-baby! (Beat. CRANSTON is flabbergasted. Then, without warning, he begins to laugh. JANE stares at him.) Why, Mr. Cranston (And suddenly JANE is laughing too. Their laughter is infectious to the point where CARRIE begins chuckling along with them. CRANSTON and

61 JANE study each other with frank curiosity as the lights fade on them and CARRIE, still laughing, crosses to join LUCY on Lucys rooftop. They are staring up at the night sky and sharing a joint. There is a CD player next to them.) CARRIE This is good. ... LUCY This is way good. ... Mmm.... Maybe a little too good. CARRIE

LUCY No such thing. ... Wait. What do you mean? This pot? Is really strong. CARRIE

LUCY Thats not what I meant. This. This is one of those nights. CARRIE Yeah. LUCY You know what I mean? CARRIE ... Uh-huh. LUCY No you dont. Okay. CARRIE

LUCY This is one of those nights when there are no limits on the possibilities. Well. There are some limits. CARRIE

LUCY Oh no no no no no. The skys way way way up there. And the citys way way way down there. Whats not possible?

62 CARRIE Well. I cant leave. For one thing. Why would you leave? LUCY

CARRIE I mean. The possibility of leaving this roof. At the moment. Is no longer negotiable. Because Im completely wasted and I couldnt get back down the stairs. And even if I did, I cant drive. ... LUCY Stay up here with me forever! CARRIE Ahh, couldnt do that. Gotta keep moving, ya know. Says so on my family crest. LUCY Yeah? Then how come youre so stuck? ... Am I? CARRIE

LUCY In my whole life, Ive never met anyone as stuck as you. Oh ... CARRIE

LUCY Oh what, now youre hurt? This is news? All right, if Im wrong, prove it. Lets see you get up and shake that thang. Come on. I picked this song out special for you. Lets dance. (She turns on the CD player. Music fills the space--something with a very strong beat.) CARRIE I know this is going to come as total shock to you, but ... I dont dance. (LUCY cranks the volume and begins to dance. She is a great natural dancer without a trace of self-consciousness. CARRIE watches. After a bit, LUCY moves tothe edge of the roof and, dancing, leans out over it.) CARRIE Lucy! Get away from edge. Youre scaring me.

63 LUCY Oh, dont worry, Ive done this a million times. Turn it up! CARRIE What about your neighbors? LUCY Dont be such an earthling! Theyre just jealous... Turn it up! (CARRIE turns the music up a little. LUCY dances toward her and they wordlessly negotiate the volume until it is blaring full blast. Finally, CARRIE gives in and begins to dance. She starts out pretty tentative but eventually gets caught up and joins Lucy. She begins to laugh a bit wildly. Lucys movements get wilder and Carrie follows along with her. Soon they are panting and laughing, pushing and slapping at each other whenever their bodies happen to touch. LUCY bays at the moon. CARRIE does the same. They tilt their faces up and howl. Then CARRIE dances quite purposefully to the edge of the roof. Her movements get wilder and more dangerous until finally she is leaning out so far that LUCY rushes over and yanks her roughly back. They stop dancing and stare at one another for a moment, breathing hard. CARRIE has scared herself. She shakes Lucy off, backs away and then turns and exits. The music jangles to a close as lights change revealing CHUDMANN standing alone. He looks much older. He holds a box of candy, a bouquet of dried flowers, and a small hatbox. ALICE enters. She wears a kerchief. Her face is devoid of expression except a slight, empty smile. Her voice, when she speaks, sounds like her expression.) ALICE Oh. Hello there. What a nice surprise. Alice. How are you? I'm very well, thank you. CHUDMANN ALICE

CHUDMANN They told me you'd been poorly last week. ALICE Did they? Oh ... CHUDMANN Nothing serious, I hope. ALICE A ... lung ailment, I think. Nothing to worry about.

64 CHUDMANN The procedure was successful. That's what they told me. The procedure. I see. ALICE

CHUDMANN You did very well, the doctor said. Everything went just fine. The good Lord saw me through. ALICE

CHUDMANN There wasn't any pain. Was there? ALICE (Touching her head briefly) Pain? Oh. I don't think so. CHUDMANN Well now. That's wonderful, Alice, just wonderful. Look here. I brought you something. ALICE Oh, now arent you sweet. Thank you. (He hands ALICE the box of candy and she pries it open and pops one chocolate after another into her mouth until he gently takes the box from her and sets it aside.) CHUDMANN Alice. Tabitha was married last week. Who? ALICE

CHUDMANN Our girl. Tabby. She married Andy Walden. ALICE Did she now? CHUDMANN Maybe you remember his father. Used to be some kind of muckety-muck down to the savings and loan?

65 ALICE Oh? Lovely. CHUDMANN Tabby saved you her bouquet. She wanted you to have it. (He hands her the bouquet. She puts it to her nose and inhales deeply.) They dont smell anymore, honey. Theyre all dried out. ALICE Lovely. CHUDMANN And she wanted you to have this too. (He opens the hatbox and pulls out a bridal veil. She stares at it. After a moment, he carefully places it on her head. She rubs the fabric between her fingers.) She made the gown herself. Got a knack for that kind of thing, just like you. I wish you could have been there, Alice. You would have been so proud of our girl. ALICE Oh. I don't get out very much these days. CHUDMANN I know. I know you don't, sweetheart. (He pushes back the veil and kisses her on the forehead.) I love you, Alice. Oh God I do love you. Well. Arent you sweet. (Beat) CHUDMANN I got to tell you something now. ... Alice? Im still here. ALICE ALICE

CHUDMANN I'm not doing so well. Doctor says I got the cancer. Its serious. Do you understand what I mean? ALICE Oh, yes certainly. You were always very clear. CHUDMANN What I mean is ... theres going to come a time, probably one day real soon, when

66 CHUDMANN (CONTD.) I wont be able to come around to see you. So I wanted to let you know about that ahead of time. So you wouldnt worry. So you wouldnt think Id just-ALICE Oh. ... That's all right. CHUDMANN Do you understand what I'm telling you? ALICE You should just visit when you can. CHUDMANN I will. I promise. ... I wanted you to know. ALICE I see. Thats fine then. (CHUDMANN gazes at her for a long moment, then touches her cheek briefly and exits. ALICE slowly takes off the veil. She puts it against her cheek, and then without warning rips it with her teeth. In a moment she has fashioned a noose, which she puts around her neck. A light comes up on CARRIE seated at her laptop nearby. She rises and turns to ALICE, speaks to her sharply.) CARRIE No! No, that is not how it went! You were released three months after he died. You died years later! In your own bed. On the night of your seventy-eighth birthday. With your children and grandchildren all around you! (ALICE turns and stares at her, a bit wild-eyed, but before Carrie can go on, a doorbell rings harshly, insistently. ALICE and CARRIE both look around in confusion. ALICE exits. CARRIE rises.) Yes? (Off) Delivery for Miss Carrie Beliveau. I'm not expecting any delivery. DELIVERY GUY Your names on the shipping address. CARRIE DELIVERY GUY

CARRIE

67 CARRIE Wheres it from? (Offstage whispering, then ) DELIVERY GUY It's a comfy chair. CARRIE What? Umm. A comfy, comfy chair? (Off) Special delivery! Damn it. LUCY Open the door, you fucking whack job! (DELIVERY GUY enters wheeling an easy chair on a handcart. LUCY is right behind him, giggling. She's a little disheveled looking and very tightly wound.) DELIVERY GUY Where you want it? CARRIE No. No. I did not order this. LUCY Right over there. That's great. CARRIE You're not leaving it here. LUCY (Signing the delivery slip and handing him a twenty) She's having an episode. Look at her. Totally psychotic. Just ignore her. Shell subside. Thank you, my good man. Well done. (DELIVERY GUY exits.) DELIVERY GUY LUCY

CARRIE

68 CARRIE Wait! No! Don't go. ... Shit. LUCY Oh, my God. This. This is your place. How did you find me? CARRIE

LUCY Oh now, that would be telling. Why havent you called me? I thought we had a good time. You seemed like you were having a good time. CARRIE You followed me the other night. Didn't you? LUCY Aww. Would I do a thing like that to you? (Looking around) Wow, you were right. This isn't an apartment, it's a hutch. CARRIE I specifically told you I had some things to take care of first. LUCY I know, I know. But I happened to specifically find this specific chair. And it's way comfy. It's a comfy, comfy chair. Which. I want you to sit on. Sit! CARRIE How much did you pay for it? LUCY It was used. CARRIE How much? LUCY Dont be gauche, dahling, it's a present. CARRIE No. LUCY I wanted to give you a present. Come on. Let me.

69 CARRIE I said no. You don't like it. I don't want it. LUCY CARRIE

LUCY You'd want it if you'd just give in and sit on the damn thing. (CARRIE plops herself onto the chair.) CARRIE I'm sitting on it. Are you satisfied? Very. I knew you'd like it. LUCY

CARRIE I don't like it. This chair is not okay with me, Lucy. LUCY Is this about money? CARRIE No. It's about proportion. It's about keeping things in perspective. LUCY I'm not always so great at that. CARRIE I know. Which is exactly why I've tried to be so clear with you about everything. LUCY Oh yeah, your signals are never mixed. Keep the chair. Please? I just want to give you something. And then, I tell you what, I'll never ever do it again. How's that? CARRIE I gotta get back to work. (CARRIE sits down at her laptop.) Goodbye, Lucy. LUCY Are you ever going to finish that thing?

70 CARRIE Not if I keep talking to you I wont. LUCY I thought I was helping. What's under the tarp? Leave that alone. CARRIE

LUCY You go ahead and work. I'll be so quiet. CARRIE You don't know how to be quiet. (LUCY pulls the tarp back to reveal a rack of paintings. Silence for several moments.) LUCY Your mom did these? CARRIE There used to be a lot more. LUCY What happened to the rest? CARRIE Some were lost. We moved a lot. Some got left behind. A few she wrecked on purpose. LUCY You could at least hang some of them. CARRIE No. (LUCY, still studying the paintings, pulls them out one by one and begins to arrange them in the space.) CARRIE What are you doing? It's a story. LUCY

71 CARRIE What? LUCY The paintings. They tell a story. I'm right, aren't I? (Beat. CARRIE finally nods.) Tell it to me. Tell me the story. CARRIE I don't remember it. Yes you do. I was so little when she did these. LUCY CARRIE

(LUCY studies one of the paintings and then positions it next to another one on the floor. After a longish beat, CARRIE rises and crosses to LUCY, repositioning the paintings.) CARRIE There's a girl, a princess. She lives in a dark place, a crumbling castle in a godforsaken gray kingdom surrounded by high stone walls. There's smoke and fog and always so many sad faces in the streets. But one day she sees a light way off in the distance. LUCY Or maybe she always sees the light. But it's always in the distance. CARRIE Actually, she never sees it ... She just knows it's out there. And so she sets off. LUCY

CARRIE In search of a particular quality of light. (Lights change. ALICE sits inside her frame wearing the same fixed, empty smile she had in the last scene. She sings softly to herself. TABITHA enters. She is very pregnant.) Mama? TABITHA

72 ALICE Oh. Hello there. Do you know me? TABITHA

ALICE What a question. Of course I do. What a question. Who am I then? I know you. Of course I know you. TABITHA I've come to take you home. ALICE Take me home? Don't be silly. I am home. TABITHA You're finally going to leave this place. ALICE That's not possible. We're bringing you home. TABITHA TABITHA ALICE

ALICE But this is my home. I've lived here my whole life. TABITHA The doctor says you're no danger to anyone anymore. We'll watch over you, take good care of you. ALICE I don't know what you mean. TABITHA That's all right. You don't need to know what I mean just yet. But youre going to be strong again, Mother, and happy, just wait and see. ALICE You're going to have a baby.

73 TABITHA I am. And very soon. What will you name him? ALICE

TABITHA I think we're going to have a girl, Mama. (ALICE puts her hand on Tabitha's belly.) ALICE Oh ... oh, I think you're right. So sad. TABITHA Sad? Why should it be sad? I want a little girl. (ALICE shakes her head and looks away. Then ...) What will you name her? ALICE

TABITHA We want to meet her before we name her. We want to see who she is first. ALICE Oh, yes That's the very best way. TABITHA We've made you up a lovely room, Mother. We painted it the palest shade of lavendar and it gets loads of sunshine all day long. You're going to be so happy there, I know it. Let me help you get your things together. (She crosses to a small chest and pulls out the veil and the bouquet. Then she finds the drawing she made as a child.) Oh . . . ALICE Give me that! TABITHA Oh, I remember this. ALICE Give it to me. It's mine.

74 TABITHA I only want to look at it-Give it to me! All right. I don't want you touching it! I won't! Here. ... Take it. ALICE It's mine. (A beat as the two women stand staring at one another. TABITHA finally nods at Alice. Then she gently takes her mother's hand and leads her off. The lights return to CARRIE and LUCY. LUCY is now in the comfy chair and CARRIE is moving around the space, very caught up in the story.) CARRIE She had come to The Woods at last! She stood under a canopy of ancient trees and gazed this way and that. Here, she would find her magic. Here and now her real life would begin. She tried to remember the village of her birth but she could not bring to mind a single detail. She was, she saw now, completely alone. (CARRIE picks up another painting and props it against one of the boxes.) And now the night comes on. The only illumination comes from the giant spotlight of the moon. She thinks she's hopelessly lost but then ... then she hears a sweet far-off music. And as she listens she knows that this is the most wonderful sound the world has ever known and that somehow its coming from both far away and deep inside her. She thinks it might save her, this special sound, this perfection. So she runs toward it as fast as she can, and in a clearing in The Woods, she comes upon ... the orchestra conductor. But when she reaches him she sees that he's trapped, rooted in the ground. LUCY What? No he's not. CARRIE His feet are stuck in the floor of the forest and he's surrounded by shadows. ALICE TABITHA ALICE TABITHA

75 LUCY No, no! He's become a part of the forest. He's found his true nature. Standing in the spotlight. Surrounded by beauty. Playing exactly what he feels inside. CARRIE No. He's stranded and he's only playing to himself. LUCY You're wrong. He's become a part of the fucking forest! CARRIE Okay. Why dont you tell it? LUCY You're so wrong! He's become a part of the fucking forest! He's found his place in the world. And that's exactly what the princess is trying to do. Which was exactly what your mother was trying to do. Which is what were all trying to do. Don't you get that? Whatever you say. It's so obvious! CARRIE LUCY

CARRIE Lucy. Have you by any chance stopped taking your medication? LUCY Oh fuck you. CARRIE Thats what I thought. OK, you need to calm down. LUCY Don't tell me to calm down. Who do you think you are? CARRIE Id like you to be a little quieter. That's all. LUCY Now is not the time to be quiet! Look where I am. This is your place! This--this is your mother's legacy. I'm holding it in my hands. CARRIE You need to calm down now.

76 LUCY Fine. Where do you keep your booze? I dont have any. CARRIE

LUCY See that? Why do you insult my intelligence with such a stupid-obvious lie? You don't need any booze. I do if you want me to calm down. CARRIE In the freezer. LUCY And dont tell me what I need. You have no idea. (LUCY exits and returns drinking from a large bottle of vodka.) So? tell me the ending. CARRIE There was no ending. I told you: She abandoned this project years ago. LUCY Youre shitting me. Well, thats it! Were going to have to finish the story. Know what we're going to do? You and I are going to write a book based on these pictures. It's going to be the ultimate children's classic because it'll have these fabulous illustrations and a great story with a warmhearted moral and shit, but it'll also have that totally hip tongue-in-cheek acerbic thing for the moms and dads who read this shit out loud, you know what I mean? So it'll play on all kinds of different levels. Cheers. They're paintings. Huh? You called them illustrations. CARRIE LUCY CARRIE CARRIE LUCY

LUCY Aww, dang me, I don't know the right lingo what fer to call these here purdy pitchers.

77 CARRIE They're not "pitchers." They're not "illustrations." They're works of art. LUCY Right, right. I should've known by the way you had them displayed. (LUCY picks up one of the paintings, "She Survives the Storm." We begin to hear quiet, muffled voices and a nearly subliminal thumping sound.) Put that down, please. CARRIE

LUCY Lose the schoolmarm, Carrie. I'm only looking at it. CARRIE Get your hands off my stuff! I did not invite you here and I dont want to tell you again-LUCY (Reading) She Survives the Storm. You know, if these were mine, I would honor them. But if she'd been my mother I think I would have found a way to keep my promise and show up to see her on Christmas Day-All right, get out now. Get out! You know, you seem a little upset. CARRIE Did you hear me? I said GET OUT. LUCY What was more important than seeing your mother on Christmas Day? CARRIE It wasnt Christmas Day-LUCY What were you doing instead? Don't tell me. Let me guess. You were studying a bunch of dead crazies from the days of yore. Meanwhile, the only crazy that ever should have really mattered to you was all on her own-CARRIE I didn't know! CARRIE LUCY

78 LUCY You didn't know what? That she would kill herself? CARRIE She didnt kill herself! She was just ... she was trying to-Trying to what? Spit it out! LUCY

CARRIE Trying to get away! She got out into the parking lot and she ran and it was freezing and it was dark and she only had one shoe on and there was a car ... and she just ... didnt see it coming. She ... I didnt know! Ahh. An accident. It was! LUCY CARRIE

LUCY And so? What? Youre off the hook? CARRIE She ran off like that all the time! It was just ... timing... It was all over in thirty seconds and she wouldve done it whether I'd been there or not! LUCY But you weren't there. You evil brat. Do you even mourn her? CARRIE Get out of here right now or I'm calling the police. LUCY It's not me you should be worried about, little girl. Because when I leave here, you're still stuck with you. Caridad Louise Beliveau. Age at time of first commitment ... to be determined. CARRIE You're nothing but a terrorist, thats all you are, you fucking head case. That's it, Charity. Get it all out. (Very quietly) I hate you so much. LUCY CARRIE

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(Beat. They are both momentarily stunned. Then ...) LUCY (Clutching the painting against her chest) Right. I'll be going now. But I'm taking her with me. You don't deserve her. CARRIE (Moving toward her) Put it down! Lucy, I am warning you. LUCY Youre what? Youre warning me? Take another step. Go ahead. CARRIE Lucy, come on. You can't take what's not yours. Just one. More. Step. LUCY

(LUCY pulls a pen out of her pocket and holds up the canvas.) You don't want to do that. As if you know me. You're crazy. LUCY Say it again? CARRIE You heard me. I said you're crazy! LUCY And once more? CARRIE (Shrieking) You're crazy! You're crazy! You're crazy! (CARRIE yanks the pen and the painting away from Lucy, then pluges the pen into the painting, ripping a gash through it. A brief moment of stillness. CARRIE is stricken.) Oh no no no CARRIE LUCY CARRIE

80 (Carrie's shirtfront suddenly appears to erupt with blood. Seeing this, LUCY screams.) Oh my God, oh my God. Lucy? What have I done to you? LUCY CARRIE LUCY

CARRIE It's okay. You havent done anything. Shh. It's okay. You're all right. LUCY I didn't mean to, I really really didn't mean to hurt you. CARRIE You didn't hurt me. I'm fine. LUCY So much blood ... Oh God, oh God, somebody please help us! CARRIE No. Lucy. There's no blood. See? Look at me. Look at me now. I'm fine. Breathe. Just keep breathing. (LUCY touches Carrie's gory chest. Her hand comes away smeared with blood.) See? Everything's okay. Shhh. Shhh. (Beat) I think I need to call my doc. Were going to do that right now. (CARRIE gently gets her arm around Lucy's shoulder and leads her off as lights change. The sound of twittering birds on a summer morning. JANE and PLAID CRANSTON appear inside a frame. JANE cradles in her arms a swaddled baby. PLAID beams.) CRANSTON Too late they said. It'd take a miracle, they said. Well, here she is. Our little miracle. Brand new to the world. LUCY CARRIE

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(He knuckles his ear. JANE shudders and gently pulls his hand away.) I know youre disappointed in me. Disappointed? Of course Im not. She isnt a little boy. Im so sorry. JANE CRANSTON JANE

CRANSTON Shes a miracle, thats what she is. Shes perfect. JANE Then why won't you hold her? CRANSTON I'd rather just look. JANE Take her for a little while, won't you? CRANSTON I . She's so small. JANE She'll be all right, Plaid, I promise. Go ahead. Take her. (Knuckling his ear) No I (Through clenched teeth) Please. CRANSTON I . She's so small. Im clumsy with little ones. Its all right. Just take her. My hands feel ... monstrous. JANE CRANSTON CRANSTON

JANE

82 JANE (Very shrill, dangerous) Will you please! For God's sake, just take her. I need one tiny moment to myself! (JANE shoves the baby into Cranston's arms. He stands there a moment, flinching and unsure, then peeks beneath the blanket.) CRANSTON Well now. Yes. Ahh. There you are, little miss. And what have you got to say for yourself, eh? ... Whats that? Ah-hah. Yes, yes, I thought so. JANE Take her out of here. Now. Please? Just into the drawing room, wont you? Dear? I'll be in directly. Off you go. Don't worry. Everything is all right. (CRANSTON nods and exits. JANE makes sure he is gone and then pulls a sewing needle from the hem of her skirt. Takes a deep breath and digs the needle across her forearm. Relief fills her face. She freezes in sepia light lights rise on TABITHA and ALICE. TABITHA carefully hands ALICE a swaddled baby. ALICE peeks beneath the blanket.) ALICE Her eyes are so blue ... the exact same blue as yours ... TABITHA And yours. (To the baby) Who are you, little girl? Who will you be? TABITHA We're going to call her Alice. ALICE Oh ... oh no! No, you mustnt do that. TABITHA Why ever not? That's exactly who she is. Aren't you, wee little Alice? Yes, yes you are. ALICE No! Call her Mary. Or Anne. For Gods sake. Not Alice. Not that. Oh ... (ALICE hands the baby back to Tabitha, smiles slightly, vacantly, and continues to fret silently.) ALICE

83 TABITHA Her name is Alice. Look at her. Of course thats her name. It couldnt be anything else. Besides, its already done. Its not a curse, Mother. Its a blessing. (Beat) She really looks at you, doesn't she? Such a intense gaze for someone so small. What a life you're going to have, little one. And it's all just up ahead. (She exits, chirping and clucking to the baby. ALICE freezes in sepia light as VIRGINIA appears inside another frame with a baby in a snuggly baby carrier. CARRIE, holding a painting, stands at a distance watching.) VIRGINIA Forty-seven hours it took me to get you into this world. And now its only us, kiddo. You and me. And any magic we can find. (VIRGINIA freezes in sepia light and then the light dims on her. After a moment the lights brighten on CARRIE.) CARRIE She Survives the Storm. A woman with fiery hair streaming out behind her shrieks into the wind. She is wild and lethal. But through the lacy transparent side of her skull you can make out a tangle of veins and capillaries. Vines and twigs. A nest. (She crosses and hangs the painting. The repair job is obviousa jagged scaryet the painting glows. CARRIE stands for a few moments gazing at it, finally puts her hand gently on the canvas. The lights change slowly to reveal LUCY in bright light sitting on an institutional looking bench. The low babble of television. LUCY wears dark glasses. CARRIE backs slowly away from the painting and turns to enter Lucys world. After a moment, she sits. LUCY doesnt look at her. A silence. Finally ...) LUCY How It Is. In case you still want to know. ... It surprises you every time. It's always waiting just beyond your peripheral vision. You play tricks on yourself, little games, you tell yourself this is not that. This, this is something brand new, and who would know better than you? But when you look around you see you've burned up on reentry and you're surrounded by the charred remains of your friends, your family, everyone who for some strange reason still gave a crap about you. You've crash landed once again. And once again you never saw it coming. I know. CARRIE

(She takes two pudding cups from her bag. Opens one and hands it to Lucy, who simply stares at it and then looks away. CARRIE opens her own and begins to eat it.)

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You dont need to do this. I know. Eat your pudding.

LUCY CARRIE

(LUCY debates. Finally shrugs. Opens the pudding cup and commences spooning. They eat in silence for a bit.) LUCY Good. (The pudding) (CARRIE nods. A longish beat. CARRIE puts down her pudding cup and touches Lucys arm very gently. LUCY pulls away. CARRIE then puts her arms around Lucy.) LUCY The thing is, I mean it. You should go. And you should never look back. CARRIE Yeah well. Im not doing that though. I dont want to be anywhere else in the world right now, Lucy. Just with you. I dont know if itll work. Maybe not. Hell, probably not. But I do want to be there and try. There. I said it. LUCY Congrats on the breakthrough, but I dont need a caretaker. CARRIE Thats not why Im here. LUCY Our interview is over. Understand me? CARRIE Yes. I know it is. ... I guess I want to tell you about me. I just... want to tell you some things. Thats all. (Beat) And what am I supposed to do. Listen? LUCY CARRIE

85 (Finally, LUCY lowers her glasses and turns a bit toward Carrie. The two sit there together as the lighting intensifies. Lights also rise on ALICE, JANE, AND VIRGINIA who turn to face the audience and one by one begin again telling their stories.) ALICE Just stop a moment and think: This is yourself. [etc.] JANE Close your eyes. Tight! No. Tighter! Tight as you can. [etc.] VIRGINIA It was forbidden to enter the woods. But that, you see, was precisely why she wanted to go. Where else was she to find the necessary magic? [etc.] (Their voices rise and blend with the recorded sound of many more voices--a thousand more stories being told. The radiator choir rises; it is muffled at first but finally it rises to a kind of symphonic magnificence. The lights begin to fade, until only the painting She Survives the Storm is lit. There is an enormous slamming sound and the lights go quickly to black. The play is over.)