Friday, Mach 2, 2012. Name: Carolina Alarcn Marn. Title: Fear of progress.

This morning my mother came to my chambers and informed me what was going to happen after the death of my father, he had left us with nothing but debts, and we ought to pay them as soon as possible if we ever wish to breath freely. The house was to be given to one of my fathers cousins, and we would be left out on the street, so my mother made the decision to ask my grandparents if we could move into their home until we got enough money to stand in our means. My mother, alongside her parents, came up with a solution that, if it worked, would benefit all of us; this solution was, according to them, the least harmful, or at least for them because they asked me to abandon my life as I have known it, my social position, education and marriage possibilities, all in order to go to the city and look for a job in one of the new factories. I have heard horrible things about these places, and so had they, yet they preferred to send me there, than to wait and see if, through a good marriage, I could improve my familys wealth and social status, perhaps they believe Im not gracious or pretty enough to find a suitable husband, or they want me to pay for my fathers mistakes, whichever it is I cannot help but think that the country is the place for me, it is all I have known, and nobody prepared me for what Im faced with at this point, nor had anyone showed me how to behave on my own. Only people that have fallen in disgrace will understand the proportions of what these changes bestow upon my life, and only they will pity me, for they realize in advance what my future holds. Im afraid at what will happen to me once Im there, because Im unaware of the reality of those places, Im only afraid, afraid of the horrible things Ive heard about the strikes, the
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Friday, Mach 2, 2012. Name: Carolina Alarcn Marn. Title: Fear of progress.

accidents and the poor living conditions, which will sadly become my daily bread. I pray to God for a solution where I dont have to sacrifice myself like this, I pray for a way to stay here, and as my little sisters, remain unblemished, innocent and pure. They say that these factories are a representation of social progress, but for me they represent new dangers that will become part of me, tainting and corrupting my soul. This whole situation has not even began to sunk into my mind, I believe, perhaps, that I will go to sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow to realize that it all had been a terrible nightmare, and that my father will comfort me the way he always did, but then I say to myself that all of that is only a beautiful dream, a gorgeous reminder of how life used to be, and a reason to live in hope of achieving all of it, of having a second chance in life. My family has so high hopes on their plan that I feel I should go along with it and not tell them that I believe it will ultimately fail. I dont believe Ill earn as much as men do, or that Ill be respected as what I am, an honest woman. God help me to see this not as a punishment, and protect me for the harsh reality I