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For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and
walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs.
For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The
dog was still able to walk with only two legs.
For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk.
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As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after
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Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.

Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?

Class: Maria did.

A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?

B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.

prblms an apple can make

Apple = Vitamins
Vitamins = Power
Pwer = Work
Work = Money
Money = GF
GF = Tension
Tension = Heart Attack
Heart Attack = Death

A Beggar Found Rs. 100/.

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Bill Rs. 3000/.
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Its Called FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT Without MBA..!!!

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will you punish me for something
Little Johnny : Mam,Will you punish me for something that I didn't do?? _
Teacher : Not at all. :|]
Little Johnny : That's good. Actually I didn't do my homework!!!!! :P

SantaBanta Jokes
Santa: So, you are distantly related to the family next door, are you?
Banta: Yes, their dog is our dog's brother.
English Joke
Girlfriend to Boyfriend: Now it is time we should marry.
Boyfriend: That's ok, but who will marry us.

Jokes for Kids Jokes

A dog thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house, and take good care of me...
They must be gods!
A cat thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house and take good care of me...
I must be a god!

Boyfriend Girlfriend Jokes

Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you?
Funny Girlfriend: It is sufficient for me, but how will you survive?

Funny Medical Jokes

Santa: Why are you heating the knife.
Banta: To do suicide.
Santa: But why are you heating it?
Banta: To prevent infection.

Free Funny Jokes Adult Jokes

There were two desi lovers: Lalu & Rabri. They loved each other so much that they planned to do
Suicide.
Lalu jumped first.
Now it was Rabri's turn.
Rabri closed her eyes, and returned back saying Love is Blind.
Lalu, in mid-air opened his parachute saying Love never Dies.

Racist Jokes Nigger Jokes

A Nigger & Sardar Ji visit Gandhi Indian Stadium.
Nigger: Why are all these people running?
Sardarji: This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Nigger: If only winner will get the cup, why are others running?

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Two balloons are floating across the desert.
One balloon says to the other:
"Look out for the cactussssssssssss!"

Two Balloons (past tense version)

Two balloons were floating across the desert.
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"Look out for the cactussssssssssss!"

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A guy goes to see the doctor, because he's been a little TOO well endowed, shall we say. In fact, it's 25
inches long. Can't get any women to have sex with him. No men either, one would think. Anyway, the
doctor says there's nothing he can do medically, but sends him to see a witch that he thinks might be able to
help.
The witch takes a look at the problem (yikes!) and tells him to go to a particular pond, deep in the forest, and
talk to a frog that lives there. "Ask the frog to marry you and each time the frog says no, you'll be 5 inches
shorter," Worth a try, he thinks, and off he dashes into the forest, as anyone in this sort of joke would. He
finds the pond and sees the frog on the other side, sitting on a log. "Will you marry me?" he calls to the
frog.
The frog looks at him, disinterested at best, and calls back, "No."
Guy looks down, sure enough, he's 5 inches shorter. Hey, this is great he thinks -- let's try that again.
"Will you marry me?" he asks the frog.
The frog rolls his eyes, and shouts back again, "No!"
Twitch -- the guy's down to 15 inches. Well, that's still a bit excessive, he thinks. Down another 5 would
be perfect. So he calls across again, "Will you marry me?"
Frog yells back, "Look - how many times do I have to tell you? No.No.NO!"

How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious
odors, and half the time they don't work.

What do men and mascara have in common?

They both run at the first sign of emotion.

How do men define a "50/50" relationship?

We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we
iron-they wrinkle.

What do men and pantyhose have in

common?
They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the
crotch!

How do men exercise on the beach?

By sucking in their stomachs every time they
see a bikini.

What do you instantly know about a welldressed man?

His wife is good at picking out clothes.

How do you get a man to stop biting his

nails?
Make him wear shoes.

What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?

Four guys watching a football game.

How do you keep your husband from reading

your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder "Instruction
Manuals."
How does a man show he's planning for the
future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical
male?
All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and
thighs.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she
brings it to the couch.
How many men does it take to screw in a
light bulb?
One-He just holds it up there and waits for
the world to revolve around him.
How many men does it take to screw in a
light bulb?
Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to
listen to him brag about the screwing part.

What is the difference between a sofa and a

man watching Monday Night Football?
The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer.
What is the difference between men and
women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every
need. A man wants every woman to satisfy
his one need.
What's a man's definition of a romantic
evening?
Sex.
What's a man's idea of honestly in a
relationship?
Telling you his real name.
What's the best way to force a man to do sit
ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
What's the best way to kill a man?
Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of
him. Then tell him to pick only one.
What's the difference between Big Foot and
intelligent man?
Big Foot's been spotted a several times.

How many men does it take to tile a

bathroom?
Two. If you slice them very thinly.

What's the smartest thing a man can say?

"My wife says..."

What did God say after creating man?

What's the quickest way to a man's heart?

I can do so much better.

Straight through the rib cage.

What do most men consider a gourmet

restaurant?
Any place without a drive-up window.

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?

So men can understand them.

What do you call a handcuffed man?

Trustworthy.
What does it mean when a man is in your
bed gasping for breath and calling your
name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks
he's God's gift to women?
Exchange him.
What makes a man think about a candlelight
dinner?
A power failure.
What should you give a man who has
everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.

Why can't men get mad cow disease?

Because they're all pigs.
Why did God create man before woman?
He didn't want any advice.
Why did God create man before woman?
Because you're always supposed to have a
rough draft before creating your
masterpiece.
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after
they're born?
To knock the penises off the smart ones.
Why do female black widow spiders kill the
males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.
Why do little boys whine?
Because they are practicing to be men.

How can you tell when a man is well hung?

When you can just barely slip your finger in
between his neck and the noose.

Why do men like smart women?

Opposites attract.

Why do men need instant replay on TV

sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what
happened.

Why is it good that there are female

astronauts?
When the crew gets lost in space, at least the
woman will ask for directions.

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on

the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end
they need to wipe.

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men

than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood,
he's already there.

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?

Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

Why is it difficult to find men who are

sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.

Why does it take 100 million sperms to

fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for
directions.

#########################################################################

Differences Between Man and Women

Names

If Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Mary, Susan, Claire and
Barbara.
If John, Brad, Tony and Daniel go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, PeanutHead and Godzilla.
Eating Out

When the bill arrives, John, Brad, Tony and Daniel will each throw in $20, even though the total is only
$34.25. None of them will have any smaller bills and none will admit they want change back.
When Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
Money

A man will pay $10 for a $5 item he needs.

A woman will pay $5 for a $10 item that she doesn't need, because it's on sale.
Bathrooms

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, razor, shaving cream, a bar of
soap, and a towel from the Motel 6.
The average number of items in a woman's bathroom is 328. The average man would
not be able to identify most of them.
Arguments

Women always have the last word in an argument. Anything a man adds after that is the beginning of a new
argument.
Cats

Women love cats.

Men may say they love cats, but when women are not looking, will men kick cats.
Future

A woman worries about the future -- until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future -- until he gets a wife.
Success

A successful man is one who makes more money than can be spent by his wife.

A successful woman is one who can find that a man.

Marriage

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
Dressing Up

A woman will dress up when she goes shopping, empties the garbage, answers the phone, waters the plants,
gets the mail and reads a book.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
Natural

Men wake up looking as good as when they went to bed.

Women will somehow deteriorate during the night.
Children

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about their best friends, romances, secret hopes and
dreams, favorite foods, fears and dental appointments.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Thought for the Day

Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people to remember the same thing.

Te Be Six Again
You really have to give this guy an A+ for effort.

George was a thoughtful husband. He wanted to give his wife something special for her birthday which was
coming up soon. As he sat on the edge of the bed, he watched his wife turning back and forth and looking at
herself in the mirror. "Reta," he said, "What would you like for your birthday?"
His wife continued to look at herself and said, "I'd like to be six again."
George knew just what to do. On the big day, he got up early and made his wife a bowl of Fruit Loops. Then
he took her to an amusement park where they rode all the rides. Five hours later, Reta's stomach felt upside
down and her head was reeling. Never the less, George took her to McDonald's and bought her a Happy Meal
with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Next, it was a movie with popcorn, soda and her favorite candy.
As Reta wobbled into the house that evening and flopped on the bed, George asked her, "Well, Dear, what
was it like to be six again?"

Reta looked up at him. Her expression changed. She said, "I meant my dress size!"

Why Men Are Happier

Men can play with toys all their life.
Men can wear shorts no matter what their legs look like.
Men have one wallet and one pair of shoes which are good for every season.
Men can choose whether or not to grow a mustache.
Men can "do" their fingernails with a pocket knife.
Men's bellies usually hide their large hips.
Chocolate is just another snack.
The whole garage belongs to them.
Weddings take care of themselves.
Men's last name never changes.
Everything on a man's face stays its original color.
Men only have to shave their faces and necks.
Men can keep the same hairstyle for years, even decades.
Men can do their Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Christmas Eve in 25 minutes.
For men, wrinkles add character.
Men can go on a week's vacation and pack only one suitcase.
Men's new shoes don't cause blisters, or cut or mangle their feet.
Men don't have to stop and think which way to turn a screw.
Men have one mood all the time.
A wedding dress cost $5000. A tuxedo rental - 100 bucks
Men can open all their own jars.

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I Like You, I Love You and I Need You!

Love SMS
No roses, No Golden Ring...
Just a simple Text SMS!
No any date, No any Special Place!
No Expensive Drinks, No Romantic Music!
I am just spending a very few cents!
But don't think that...
My feelings are also valueless!
I have though a lot before proposing you!
I Like You, I Love You and I Need You!
I have followed that...
I forget all of my sorrows, all of my pains...
When I stay with you!!!
I seriously miss you when you are far away!
I most often remember you...
During eating, During working-actually every time!

I need you in my life...!

So, please don't say no!
Say yes immediately and give me chance to love you!
To make you happy all the time...
To take care of you always...
To be with you even after my death!

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.

The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

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