DesiPun!

Yo! Pun Intended

Almost 25 Indiastic Short Stories

Mohit Sharma
(Trendster)

Intro
There are quite a few synonyms of Contrast like Dissimilarity,
Variation, Gap, Difference, Divergence, Unlikeness and Disparity
etc. I want to add one more word in this list India. This crazy
country is beautiful, vibrant & deep. When you think that you
know a lot about India it presents some new permutation &
combination leading to countless invisible probabilities. These
punny stories attempt to cover few related yet contrasting
aspects present in India.
I wrote many write-ups during my school & graduation years & I
have quite a few promising ideas in my rugged jhola. I will
continue to explore India & write on imperative aspects related
to Bharat.
I would like to thank my friends, teachers, colleagues in UPES Dehradun, Lucknow Christian Degree College, IGNOU, Rani
Laxmi Bai Memorial School, NGOs. My virtual yet powerful
people on Indian Comics Communities, Storywrite Website,
Allpoetry Website, Blogger Website, MRAs etc. Thanks for being
so efficient & so willing to help in all occasions.
The last thank you goes to my family for everything!

Mohit Sharma
*) Facebook Page :
www.facebook.com/Mohitness
*) - Official Blog :
mohitness.blogspot.com/

*) Twitter :
twitter.com/Trendy_Baba_
*) Creative Databases:
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Search Engine Terms/Keywords Mohit Trendster,
Mohitness, Trendy Baba, Freelance Talents, Trendster,
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Fandom.
Mohit Sharma (2011), All rights reserved.

1) - Sorry! Smt. Maneka Gandhi ji

Who are these people? Animal Rights Activists? Why?
People working on behalf of others without payment for
their time and services. Animal rights, also referred to as
animal liberation, is the idea that the most basic interests
of non-human animals should be afforded the same
consideration as the similar interests of human beings.
Why? This is super socialism. They are spending billions on
animals when hundreds of people in my mega slum die
annually. I am struggling for all the basic necessities like
food, water, shelter, clothing, then why should I adopt a
dog? I know how to read and write but I am not listening
to them and I dont want their pictorial pamphlets. They
say we are brainwashed.I dont understand their logics
and statistics. Maybe they are right but we are hungry!
Away from my slum, in this dark cold night, I was feeling
very sad and frightened at the same time. I had never
committed a murder before but today I had do so in order
to save our lives. I didn't want to ruin my life just for this
tiny little stupid thing. I had made up my mind. I would
murder him in the dead of night and no one would ever
know what happened to him. I was looking forward to a
very happy life with my beautiful love. But first I had to kill
this witless git. I sharpened my knife and with a loud thud,
his life ended. Feeling not a little feeling of regret in my
heart, I started burying him. Poor dog breathed his last in

the backyard of my hut and I felt very relieved to end this

fiasco. Having some serious hatred with animals especially
dogs, (and humans) I would never had let this stupid
moron in my house but my wife was insisting to keep him
with us. Stray Cows, Buffaloes, Goats and other plants,
grass eating animals are okay as they never demand
anything except causing few accidents on roads and
injuring Bikers, pedestrians and rarely those rich people in
their Air Conditioned Cars. But Dogs, no they are not okay
because they want bread. This was the main reason of our
ongoing problems. When I will get a decent job then I will
gift her 1no..2 dogs. I crossed my fingers to pray for the
poor thing and started moving towards my home where a
happy life and beauteous love was waiting for me.
The End!
Author Notes:
*) - Smt. (Shrimati) is an honorific (Hindi) used for women.
*) - Maneka Gandhi is an Indian politician, animal rights
activist, environmentalist, former model.

2) Henna Arrest
The Namasteys and have a seats and then after few
seconds the business.

Will you be paying? the saloon in-charge asked my mom.

Yes."
Rs. 50 each side, said the in-charge. that makes
Rs.200/- for both hands of a person."
You want to have henna on both sides of your hand? my
mother asked me.
She is a great actor. Her dream to see me as bride and
write off her social liability (or maybe Bad Debt) is coming
true. I am helpless, feeling like a lost warrior. Almost 9
years back, when she started arranging Handsome,
Settled groom for me. I begged for some time so that I
can pursue my dream in Clinical Research. She agreed,
never said anything after thatthough her acid eyes
regularly harassed me as if asking Is that some time
over? and finally her patience paid off, I surrendered.
There were times when I was close to achieve my dream
but records say that I did almost nothing during these 9
years.
"No only on the upper sides," I told my mom.
Ayesha and Sonia take this girl and apply henna to her
hand, said the manager, and make it fast."
The two girls, who were about my age, took me to one of
the outer sides and told me to sit on a bench while they

took a seat just in front of me. Opening the seal of the

cone they started making designs on my hand.
The scent of henna filled the air, putting my senses on full
alert, like a coffee bean though more soothing. I looked
around, making sure not to move my hand.
The saloon was made of two perpendicular walls. One was
half covered by a big rectangle mirror beneath which a
long wooden desk was installed against the wall,
containing all the equipment and accessories in its shelves
while the other had posters of brides and models smiling
at the passersby. Two long benches were installed on the
opposite side of the wall. A pillar supported the ceiling
from the open side.
Even though the people were from different sects the
place had a homey feeling about it. A lady in the saloon
opposite to me was having her hair dyed. To the right
corner side a lady was buying sandals for her
grandchildren. A couple of woman were gossiping and
sipping tea.
My cousins were chatting about the wedding, what they
were going to wear and competing over who would look
best. My mom kept stating the fact that the bride would
look beautiful. I kept my opinions to myself as I dont like
weddings and consider it the most boring event I would
ever witness.

My back was aching badly. The constant scratching of the

henna cone against my palm was overbearing. It took all
my strength to keep my hands from moving.
My cousin was poking me to make sure I was all right. It
was irritating. It was not her mistake though, my mom was
probably driving her crazy telling her to make sure if I was
ok. My mom is over-caring which can be irritating at times.
She was probably thinking of the bad things that might
happen and since I was sitting on the outer bench, out of
her sight, I can't imagine how she must be feeling.
"Here you are done!" said Ayesha to me, flipping the cone
through her bun-tied black hair. I was taken aback at her
remark. Looking at the pattern on my hand, I tried to
memorize the design, just so I could make it whenever
needed.
"Is something wrong?" Ayesha asked
"Nothing," I replied.
"We got to go." My cousin poked me.

The End!

3) - Social Modeling
A young couple from a European Country Tom and Trisha
were on a World Tour. After few weeks of mixed
adventure in African Countries they reached India.....their
first stop in Asia. They were roaming on the bumpy roads
to get the real feel of India.
Tom - "Darling, look at that...."
Trisha - "Who? Mahatma Gandhi?"
Tom - "Why do you have only four guesses for every new
thing and surprise in India? There are billion of people and
things In India apart from Taj Mahal, Kama Sutra,
Handicrafts and Of Course Mahatma Gandhi."
Tom - "Look at that poor soul on the side of the
pavement."
Trisha -"Oh, wounded, poor man, is using a copy of 'Public
Times' to hide his privates."
Tom - "We must help him."
The couple rushed towards that 'Poor Soul'.
Trisha - "Tom, give him your old...err...new shirts and
trousers."

Tom - "We should call the Doctor first and offer him some
packed food. He is shivering...BIG TIME. 'Hey man, we are
right here for you. You need something? Feel free to ask
anything.'"
The Poor Soul stares at Trisha and Tom alters his promise
in his earlier sentence.
Tom - "....I mean not anything."
Annoyed Poor Soul shouted.
"What's your problem man?"
Tom - "You are wounded, you were shivering...we want to
help you."
"O, Come on! Not again. For Mango's sake.....this...that's
why I was 'shivering'."
Poor Soul setting his long hairs back showed the couple his
latest I-Pod and ear plugs.
Trisha - "An, I-Pod....you have...."
"Ya, I have an I-Pod. By the way, do me a favor..."
Trisha - "What?"
"Please download the latest anti-virus on my Lap Top and
Leap Top. These Fuckers, I meant Hackers are making my
life hell."

Tom - "We thought that India is a developing poor country

and you surely looked like a Beggar."
"Well, mates, this is my profession."
Trisha - "Begging?"
"O, no....no...I am a Social Model."
Tom - "...and What's that? Never heard about Social
Modeling before."
"Actually, I regularly travel in various states, cities and
villages of India and work temporarily for Non
Governmental Organizations (N.G.O.s) working for many
social causes. According to the needs of my clients I pose
in different make-ups, get-ups receiving money, gifts, help,
aid, etc, from the members of N.G.O.s....they use my
photos to gather money and grants from Public,
Government, Corporate and he he...Foreign Countries. I
was waiting for my client and you people just...."
After few minutes Doctor (called by Tom) arrived at the
scene and was attending Tom and Trisha....both fainted in
shock.

The End!
Author Notes:
India is estimated to have around 3.5 million NGOs (2010)

4) Disputed Champions
Saurav and Shazia (India) got wild card entry in Mixed
Doubles category of Tennis Slaves Series. In international
sports, the term (wild card) is perhaps best known in
reference to big international sporting events such as
Olympic Games or Wimbledon. Countries which fail to
produce athletes able to meet performance requirements
to compete are granted "wild cards", which enable them
to send competitors tournaments even if those
competitors' abilities are below the required standards.
Though, there were few better ranked Tennis players in
India but they were busy in other tournaments, injured
(and some popular celebrity showing off their stardom by
statements like we are focusing on Olympics...skipping
'small' tournaments).
This was second year of Egypts Tennis Slaves Series. There
were 16 pairs in the Mixed Doubles Event. The only unique
rule was the two players should be of same country which
happens in
big International events like Olympics, Asian Games,
Commonwealth Games, etc as nations also compete in
composite Medal Tally of all the events. 3 Rounds before
Final (First round of 16, Quarter Finals, Semi Finals). The

Indian pair, scheduled to play Chadian players, was very

excited and happy as their rankings were better than the
Chadian duo and the players from Chad were unseeded.
Just before the games a bitter Civil War broke out in
eastern Chad and all the International Flights were
cancelled. Indians progressed to Quarter Finals with a
W.O. or Walkover win. They practiced for 2 days before
their next match. Their opponents were Markal Bass and
Cindy Pass from Nepal. But on the eve of match Cindy was
disqualified by World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) for
doping violations in the last round of 16 match. Saurav and
Shazia got their second Walkover and they were in the
semis. They were happy and "Only 2 Steps...." was the only
thing in their mind. Russians won their first 2 matches and
were scheduled to play Indians next.
Zafira Nova, Top-seeded International star was main
attraction in women's singles of the same tournament. She
got injured in her singles semi-final match. She retired
from the match and from the Mixed Doubles Event. Indian
pair was now in Final of Egypts Tennis Slaves Series.
Shazia - "Everyone is focusing on singles events....media
and all, no news of us 'making' it to the final?"
A reporter heard this line of Shazia when she was
practicing with Saurav and quoted it in the next day's
National Newspaper. Now, not "everyone" but many were
talking about these two players. SMS and Internet Jokes

circulated everywhere. "Register your names and you are

a finalist! Hurry!"
Next, top-seeded Israeli pair. They were called Mixed
Doubles Specialist with 29 titles to their credit. They were
super professionals and favorites in the Sunday final.
Saturday evening, some Palestinian extremist kidnapped
Israeli Players for their multiple demands. Authorities had
no clue of the players on Sunday and reserve day,
Monday.
Indians were declared the champions of Mixed Double
Event of Egypts Tennis Slaves Series. The joke changed
"Register and be a Champion plus a free foreign trip!"
The End!

Author Notes:
*) - A walkover or W.O. is the awarding of a victory to a
contestant because there are no other contestants, or
because the other contestants have been disqualified or
have forfeited.
*) - The World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) is an
independent foundation created through a collective
initiative led by the International Olympic Committee (IOC)
to promote, coordinate and monitor the fight against
drugs in sport.

5) Fires Sermon
"Shyama!"
This word, this name is placed in my memory with an
audio file. Voice of my neighbor Mr. Sumit Talwar calling
his wife loud andSounding...harsh. Though, Shyama was
often heard laughing and seen standing on a balcony
smiling. Few neighbors residing close were amazed by
such contrasting voices. One thing was sure that she was
happy and everyone was unable to decipher Mr. Talwars
expressions and actions to say that A 'muscleman', his
every action and word was like a semi-slow motion and
surprisingly delicate considering his heavyweight frame.
Mr. Talwars first impression to many was ignorant and
rude. Almost zero social circle, very poor attendance in
festive or social gatherings, almost no facial expressions
like Rahul Dravid batting on the Fourth Boring day of
Cricket test match heading towards a Draw.
Yesterday was like any other day. Then I heard a blast. It
was like a Bomb blast. But bomb blasts were far away
from majority of India. People rushed (or many looked)
outside to expect something thrilling to change their
ordinary day.
Half the house of Talwars was on fire. The cooking gas
cylinder burst while Shyama was preparing food in the
kitchen. Besides, Sumit was badly injured. Burnt part of his

formal office clothes sticking to his body. Inert and burnt

Shyama was in his hands. I dont know about the degrees
of burns but her body was a black sticky mess.
I called 101 (Fire Service) for a Fire Brigade. They told me
that someone already informed them and the fire brigade
is on it's way.
Sumit was crying and shouting random things. He was
doing everything he never did or probably he never
showed anyone except Shyama. He was repeatedly kissing
her, talking to her. His trademark slow motions vanished
as he jumped, bumped and ran moved like a 'Black Cat'
Commando. His car was in a service station so he ran to all
the houses in colony and asked for Help or Car to rush to
Hospital but before anyone could respond he moved to
next house as if he was waiting for that persons reply for
quite some time.
Few moments later the Talwars were rushed to Hospital.
Fire brigade extinguished the fire. Humming sound of
crowd taking, asking, calling, sharing assumptions and
framed facts.
Mr. Sumit taught me (and maybe few other neighbours) a
lesson....for rest of my life. Everything differs from person
to person. Since then I never generalize a person by
knowing some of his/her characteristics. As every
individual's personality has so many aspects according to
that person's upbringing, interests, profession, etc which
are hidden from almost everyone. We (majority) have

several stereotyped standards and if someone is not good

in those specific things....we tag him/her with negative
adjectives like rude, ignorant, selfish, bad, without
knowing so many things about that individual.
The End!
Author Notes:
*) - Rahul Dravid is one of the most experienced cricketers
in the Indian national cricket team, of which he has been a
regular member since 1996.
*) - The National Security Guard is a Special Response Unit
in India that has primarily been utilized for counterterrorism activities. The NSG members are also known as
Black Cat Commandos.
*) - For Fire Service and related emergencies dial 101 (in
India).

6) - Art of Bargaining
Mickey Bond is a worker in South African embassy in India.
He loves India and its diverse culture. He is a happy man
but with one big problem. He cant handle too much
pressure. Mickey's behavior in tense situations is
inscrutable.

Otherwise he is okay and even aware of his weakness and

often wondered that in this big world how many people
behave like him in certain situations, its just the difference
of frequency and degree. He observed many people in
public places and said to himself (S)he is like me. His
cousin, Aladdin Bond is on a World tour and staying with
Mickey to visit India. Mickey tells Aladdin about popular
street markets of India where according to him
"Bargaining" is the key.

Mickey Bond - Bargaining is a very important, and even

expected, part of shopping at markets in India.
Shopkeepers in India hope to charge you a higher rate to
raise their monthly income. You want to save money as
your budget is running low. But the streets are filled with
colorful and enticing items to buy so how do you buy
something without getting ripped off? The idea is to start
below what you are willing to pay.
Mickey takes Aladdin to weekly Monday Market in his
locality.
Mickey Bond (With James Bond expressions) Let me
show you how its done.
Mickey walks to a wooden stall.
Mickey This green shirt with embroidery. How Much?
Shopkeeper Four Hundred Rupees.

Mickey No, its too much. I can pay you Forty Rupees for
this.
Mickey thought the Shopkeeper will offer the shirt at
lower price but Shopkeeper was an enthusiastic young
man, new in business.
Shopkeeper No, Sahib! Four Hundred Rupees.
Mickey No, Forty! Look..my name is Bond....Mickey
Bond!
Shopkeeper I am Popeye the Spider man! Four Hundred.
Mickey (Returning to 'original Mickey look' from James
Bond expressions) Forty!
Shopkeeper Four Hundred!
Mickey Forty!
Shopkeeper Four Hundred!
This Four Hundred versus Forty went on for few more
seconds and Mickey Bond was 'pressurized' enough to
shout.
Mickey AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! Okay, final! Four
Hundred Forty?
The End!

Author Notes:

Here's the best way to go about it to make sure you don't

pay too much at India's markets. Though, gradually
Department stores, Supermarkets, Shopping Malls,
Hypermarkets, etc are replacing local unorganized, desi
markets.
*) - To get a feel for how much goods should cost, visit
some fixed price stores first.
*) - In street markets, as a general rule, don't pay more
than half the initial asking price of any items. Sometimes
it's possible to pay less, especially if you buy more than
one item.
*) - Shop keepers consider the first sale of the day to be
lucky, so shop early and they may give you a better price
to get your business.
*) - Never reveal how much you're interested in an item.
Always pretend to be indifferent as to how much you want
it.
*) - Start the bargaining process by asking the shop keeper
"Is this best price?" or "Is a discount possible?"
*) - The price will immediately be dropped a small amount.
Tell the shop keeper that the item is still way too
expensive. You'll then be asked how much you're prepared
to pay.
*) - When it's your turn to offer a price, make sure you
start with a low amount that's well below what you're

prepared to pay. Around one third of the quoted price is a

good amount.
*) - If the shop keeper isn't dropping the price enough,
walk away. Usually this will result in an immediate
reduction in the asking price. If it doesn't, it's an indication
that your price is too low. You can either go back and keep
negotiating, or try and find the item cheaper somewhere
else.
*) - It's a good idea to walk around the market and see all
that's on offer first, before buying anything. It's common
to find the same items for sale in a number of shops.
*) - Lastly, keep in mind that bargaining is meant to be fun.
Many shop keepers enjoy it, as the interaction breaks up
the monotony of their day.

7) - Unskilled Fire Extinguishers

Baba Kalia (46) is the wholesale king of FMCG (Fast Moving
Consumer Goods) in Susu City. Now he is eyeing on rapidly
growing Fire Extinguishers and related fire safety
equipments like Hydrants, Sirens, Alarms, etc. Government
granted him the license for manufacturing of Fire
Extinguishers only, on a condition that if his company
supplies certain amount of Fire Extinguishers to Primary

Schools and Hospitals for a season then he can apply for

licenses for manufacturing other fire safety equipments.
His son Baby Kalia (20) is a Commerce Graduate and Baba
Kalia wants his son to manage the new business.
He tried his best to brainwash his son according to his
thinking and beliefs with the help of many conversations
like this.
Business is all about making money and profits. Simple!
But these new kids wasting their parents money in
higher education and then ruining their employers
business by applying Bookish cum Rubbish theories in
practical world. Thats why I saved 2-3 years of your prime
period by not sending you abroad just to get that MBA
tag.
But, Dad, every theory is a result of several years of
research done by learned Scholars, Professors, etc. World
is changing and proper training and study are necessary to
be in businesswith so much limitations and competition.
Thats what I am saying implementation of theories given
by professors and not by successful Businessmen. I mean
in general....the world is big may be there are few
Businessmen cum Professors..Though, I never heard about
anyone with so much time. Yes, I know couple of my
Businessmen cousins who say that they did 5-10 years of
research in Business and got Doctorate Degree but they
are not successful businessmen. Thats the difference. You

need some time to differentiate between the business of

your graduation syllabus and the real business that your
Papa is managing before your birth. I have decided that
along with my wholesale business I will be there with you
in the initial period of this Fire Extinguisher Factory
Project.
Baby Kalia was himself recruiting new managers,
employees for this manufacturing unit. When his Papa
Kalia..Err...Baba Kalia jumped in from God-Knows-Where.
Son, this is pure carelessness. You hired so many people
with impressive Resume, with so many degrees,
diplomas..but you dont realize that you have to pay them
according to their qualifications and they are nothing
but...ahem!
Dad...
No...Now listen to me. You must have read at least, this in
your books. Cost Cutting...or minimizing cost of
production. Now I will do the recruiting of workers making
the material and filling the cylinders. Dont be
amusedthe license is of manufacturing by scientific
process but I got the license because of my contacts and
money and now I want return on my investment. Manual
filling of cylinders, cheap material, Gobar Gas* instead of
CO2...I dont care, I want money. You hired IIM*
managers, I said nothing now I am hiring unskilled labour
and I expect you to quietly observe the difference, Baby.

Huh!
After a week the Manufacturing Unit of Kalia and Sons
started its production in Baba Kalias way. Baby Kalia
respected his father but was unhappy by the business
tactics applied by his father in everything even on him.
He was the CEO of the company but 'enjoyed' limited
powers than a peon of his factory.
The Kalia and Sons Safety Equipments Limited recorded a
huge profit in its first quarter after the commencement of
production. Baba Kalia was on the moon. Now, apart from
the regular teachings, tips and taunts Mr. Baby had to
tolerate the fictitious stories about Baba Kalias supercareer.
Next day, early morning a phone call by a factory
employee.
Hello, Sir, our fire extinguisher factory caught fire few
minutes ago. No casualty but all the material and
machines on both the floors....destroyed. Uncontrollable
fire is spreading in other adjoining factories..Sir.
Baba Kalia What? How?
Sir, the fire started in the Inventory Rooms where
spontaneous combustion of substances and materials
caused this conflagration.

Baba Kalia Don't give me this formal shit. There were few
workers in the Night Shift for manual filling of cylinders.
What were they doing?
The fire was very fast..sir...All the workers were relaxed
till they saw the fire because they thought that a Fire
Extinguishing Factory and its material cannot catch fire.
Baba Kalia Foolish workers!!
"No...sir, illiterate and unskilled workers. No body knew
how to operate a Fire Extinguisher. So, They threw Fire
extinguishing cylinders of every size in the firethinking
that these cylinders are Fire Extinguishers themselves,
will extinguish the fire but nothing happened. With no
option left they ran away. Workers are saying that they do
their job perfectly its their owner who uses so much
duplicate material, that over 3000 Kgs. of Fire
extinguishers cannot handle a rooms fire."
Baby Kalia was upset yet happy that at last something (a
fire) proved his father wrong and now Baba Kalia will open
up to new ideas. Though, this Baba-Baby duo was in the
spotlight in every form of media with this common or
similar headlines "Fire Extinguisher Factory Catches Fire!"
(Formally) and lots of "Ha Ha...", "LOL", "He he..." in the
Newsroom and Studios (Informally).
The End!

Author Notes:
*) Gobar Gas - In Pakistan and India biogas produced from
the anaerobic digestion of manure in small-scale digestion
facilities is called gobar gas.
*) IIM - The Indian Institutes of Management (IIMs), are
graduate business schools in India that also conduct
research and provide consultancy services in the field of
management to various sectors of the Indian economy.
The IIMs are considered the top business schools in India.

8) - Tea, I love you!

"Well, for me tea is an underrated beverage. Tea is a
common thing in many countries but still people give very
less footage to tea compared to other drinks....."
"May be tea is your personal choice over coffee and other
drinks."
"Okay! Mr. Prompt Analyst. Yes, I love tea. You want to
know the reasons?"
"Reasons? I thought you like tea because you like tea or
your taste buds prefer tea? Okay, tell me the reasons."
"When I was in High School. I daily watched a group of
children begging on the traffic signals near my school. One

day I took some old utensils, thousand bucks (my monthly

pocket money) and went to the leader of the 'Begging
Gang' a malnourished and dirty kid with no quality of
leader but was comparatively 'better' than others...that's
why he was the leader. I gave him the utensils, then we
managed things to prepare tea and a illegal 5 Kgs (though,
it was near to a 2 Kgs) gas cylinder. He knew how to make
tea. He started his business on roadside and started
earning good amount on from the very first day. After 2
Months he purchased a wooden tea stall. Encouraged by
this self employment success story. Now the 'Chhotu
Gang' is diversifying planning to open their tea stalls in
other areas of the city. They were orphans....the only
things they needed was right guidance and a little
investment (huge for them)."
"Great! Superb! You are better than many Management
Gurus, but you said reasons?"
"Thank you, Second reason....one day when I was a little
kid, mom was out of station to meet her cousin. My father
was preparing tea for himself and me. Now, we hate black
tea in India. A tea (for us) must contain a fair amount of
milk and few other herbs apart from tea leaves, the whole
mixture is boiled till you get a (orange+brown)/2 colored
tea. The mixture was boiling. Suddenly, A thief came from
behind and put knife like desi thing to my father's neck.
Papa instantly emptied the contents of pan on the
burglar's face....he cried with pain and gave his knife like
desi thing to Papa and pleaded to lock him in Bathroom so

that he can use shower until Police arrives and the color of
his face was (orange+brown)/2.
.......Third and the most important reason is that I am alive
and talking to you because of tea. Yup, actually, last year
after the completion of my studies my 'traditional-culturalethical-religious-type family' started searching a well
settled Boy from another 'traditional-cultural-ethicalreligious-type family' for arranged marriage. Their search
ended and a family came to evaluate me on their
traditional parameters. They were behaving and asking
weird questions...actually they were too traditional to
resist...plus I don't wanted to marry that Mustache Man.
So, I prepared an awful tea with 'irresistible' tangy flavor. I
served them tea. After few sips they got up and departed.
I heard them saying that if the taste of first tea prepared
by a to be bride is not good then it's a guarantee of bad
luck for both the families after marriage (if marriage
happens after the not so good in taste first tea). Seriously,
I wanted to kiss that traditional man/woman who framed
this awful first tea rule. Later, after a month the same
'traditional-cultural-ethical-religious-type family' found
guilty of killing the newly wed bride (who came to their
home with so many expectations and dreams) for Dowry,
traditional reasons. After that my parents gave me the
freedom to choose my life partner myself...who suits me
irrespective of the traditional tantrums. I chose you. Will
you marry me?"
"Yes, I love you!"

"I love you....and tea."

The End!

Author Notes:
*) - Sometimes due to coincidences or strange events
some specific things, people and places become very
special for a person (Tea in this case). Though, these
things, people and places are ordinary for others. So, what
is/are very special to you that is normal for others?
*) - Chhotu is a common name for male child laborers,
beggars.
*) - A dowry is the money, goods, or estate that a woman
brings to her husband in marriage. Dowry deaths are the
deaths of young women who are murdered or driven to
suicide by continuous harassment and torture by
husbands and in-laws in an effort to extort an increased
dowry.

9) - AIDS Sufferer Vampire!

Place : A Private Hospital, India.
"Doctor, Haaaaaaaaaa!"
Doctor engrossed in a report "Sore throat, Cough and
Coldsecond floor, room number 19."
But this was a special case.
"Doctor....Haaaaaaaa!"
At last, Doctor looked at the visitor
"Jeeeeeez..Yuck...wak...what a Buggy, go to the next
building?"
"What for?"
Doctor - "That building is Theater and Movie Studio and
you were going there but probably in confusion and hurry
bumped in here."
"No...Haaaaaa!"

Doctor - "Okay, so you are nervous before your

performance or screen test. You wanna rehearse and were
practicing here...O Come on, 'Pee-Pee Man' this is a
Hospital."
"I am Desi Vampire...somebody 'killed' me few decades
ago and buried my body near the sewer, today some
freaky stuff (ya..even for me) along with bumperdecomposed gases leaked at my place from that gutter
and I guess that's enough inspiration...err.. Irritation for
me to rise again and rule the world."
Doctor - "I am a Doctor, not a kid and you are a normal
person trying to imitate some cheap TV program's weak
Vampire?"
Desi Vampire - "Okay, then! Call your Peon."
Doctor - "Shambhoo!"
Shambhu - "Haaaaaaaaaaaa!"
Doctor - "Oh! Shambhoo looks like a sucked elastic
Bamboo! Okay-Okay! you win...you are a Vampire....I
mean Wow you are so great, the ultimate Yo Man...I love
you. So, now what? Are you going to suck my...."
Desi Vampire - "Haaaaaa!"

Doctor - "I mean drink my Blood, easy my Lord....but why

are you telling me all this? Is this your Modus Operandi?
Narrate your story to all your victims...he he...What the
fuc....awesome!"
Desi Vampire - "I was on my way to 'suck' people and soon
I came to this Hospital...I bit a patient (who laughed
instantly when I went there) and drank few liters of blood
but after that I feel like....sick...my hairline receded, my
vision needs a Bifocal with a Telescope and a
Microscope...since then I am tolerating a voice
"peeeeeeeeeeeeee" in my ears....even I went to Toilet
couple of times but still this "Peeeee" is on....what's worse
is that one of my 'showpiece' fangs broke right outside
your office when I was 'busy' with your peon Shambhoo.
That's why I told you all this...Please help me."
Doctor - "You are feeling weak and sick?"
Desi Vampire - "Yes, like somebody sucked me. No energy
left."
Doctor - "That first victim of yours in this Hospital was in
which ward?"
Desi Vampire - "Ground Floor, Right section. I don't
remember the name of that ward."
Doctor - Oh My God! That's the ward for AIDS patients.

Desi Vampire - And what's that?

Doctor - AIDS stands for Acquired Immuno Deficiency
Syndrome. It's a new disease invented...I mean discovered
in later half of 20th Century. I guess you were buried for
more than 5-6 decades. I am sorry you sucked an AIDS
patient....so now you are H.I.V. Positive. Your immune
system is getting weaker with every passing second
because you consumed quite a lot from that patient. It's
too late now.
Desi Vampire -Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!
Doctor - Don't worry you can still become an integrated
part of this society. Our Hospital provides free medical and
counseling facilities to AIDS patients.
The End!

10) - The Consolation Gold

"Sorry, pardon me, which country?"
"Sautrey, Sauntrey......ya....it is Sauntrey."
"Saun.....trey.....and which continent?"
"Africa, Its Sauntrey's first Olympic. We all are so excited."

Sauntrey, a small state came into existence for the

refugees of civil war of several African countries, an
initiative taken by a world peace keeping organization.
This was Sauntrey's first appearance in Olympics. A group
of 15 athletes was participating in the selected sports
(with ordinary qualifying standards or introductory
sports).They were traveling from Sauntrey to Los Angeles,
U.S.A., via Aero plane, this journey was in the destiny of
few lucky Sauntrians. Along with them there was a group
of 12 Supporting Staff and Reporters.
First international exposure of these 27
people......conversing in Handy English with others and in
'Sauntri' among themselves. Even Sauntri was a mixture of
various African languages.
Sports Village, Los Angeles, especially prepared for the
athletes of all the participating countries was their
destination. Aero plane with Sauntrian and few other
African Teams reached Los Angeles. All the Sauntrian
athletes and officials were in their official national dress
and talking to everyone with a sense of pride, but they
were quite upset when someone in Press Conference
called their dress "Trendy Swimwear".
Sauntrey's 3 Media personnel were with almost no
equipments and were reporting back home via telephone.
Their daily reports included various people with different
countries, traditions, cultures, etc encountered,
description of sports village, facilities provided by the

organizing authorities, as if they were teasing their fellow

nationals back home.
Opening Ceremony of the Olympic Games was mind
blowing as always.
Sauntrey's march was scheduled after China. Even
Supporting Staff of China was far more than whole team of
Sauntrey. They all marched in front of the "whole world"
and their "Trendy Swimwear" was the only thing
distinguishing them from the great Chinese army.
First event in which Sautrey participated was Tennis
(Women's Doubles Category). The duration of the Match
was 20 minutes and was in favour of opposing team (6-0,
6-0). This result was expected by all present there except
27 people.
In the next event which was Long Jump, jump of Sauntrian
Long Jumper was scheduled last (formality)........who
finished last with the best effort of 1.99 meters.
In 100 Meters Race, Sauntrian runner broke the world
record.........by completing the race in 39.99 seconds,
longest duration taken by any athlete in any international
event to cover 100 meters.
In Pole vault, Sauntrian athlete was unable to clear the
marked height in his first two attempts; in his third
attempt he banged his jaw in the clearance bar.

Sauntrian Reporters failed to cover the Boxing Match

featuring their Boxer because they reached 2 minutes late
after the start of the match which ended in a historic first
punch knockout. The Sauntrian Boxer was still unconscious
to express his views about his "teeth tickling" defeat.
Last event in which Sauntrey was represented was
Swimming. Sauntrian Swimmer with nothing to lose,
misbalanced during his initial jump was hurt and was
admitted (...to hospital) beside Pole Vaulter and Boxer of
Sauntrey.
There was a "pin drop" silence in the Sauntrain Camp. No
one was enthusiastic as they were on their arrival. They
lost in every event in which they participated in initial
stages.
To add to their misery media of other countries was
flashing and serving their performance for laughter and
entertainment of their viewers.
One Reporter commented ->
"Stats are encouraging but Pole-vaulter, Swimmer and
Boxer of Sauntrian team may face problems and tough
interrogation when they will return to Sauntrey from
U.S.A., because after competitions their faces are quite
different from their photos in their passports and visas."
During the Closing Ceremony the Sauntrian Team quietly
marched in their traditional dress. They all were thinking
that the news of their performance was a means of

laughter for others......infact the whole world. Back in the

camp they all were very sad due to the insult of their
country which was caused by their below ordinary
performance.
No one wanted to attend the press conference; at last one
athlete of 400 meters, who was second last in his race and
whose performance was best from Sauntrey attended the
Press Conference. Reporters were taunting and
commenting from every where. The name of the daring
person facing press conference was Mr. Bham Bhokda.
Everybody in the Sauntrian Camp was keenly watching
him, they all were praying. Temper of Mr. Bham Bhokda
rose when someone asked him that "Why are such
Countries dishonoring these prestigious games?
"Shut up.....I said shut up.....enough is enough," blasted
Bham Bhokda.
Now there was an unbroken silence among reporters.
Even the Cameras covering some other reports turned
towards him as if they were ready to fire.
Full of tears and emotions Bham Bhokda continued.
"Olympic Games are unfair to us, there is cheating
everywhere."
One Reporter interrupted
"Hey, hey.....You are breaking the Code of Conduct. Every
move in Olympics is covered by several cameras and

officials......confirmed by referees and umpires. Well, by

the way your sense of humor is same as your
performance."
Bham Bhokda replied,
"Thank you, by the way, I told you to shut up. Yes
everything is watched by authorities, but nobody is able to
see the harsh truth and reality behind these standings and
results. We lost in every sport which was thoroughly
covered.....thanks to you people again.
But what should be covered is that almost all the people in
our country are not even aware about the existence of
such events. Sauntrey....where people are struggling for
basic necessities you expect us to compete and do well at
this level. We are competing with those who are living a
far better life than us and are professionals. I am a
vegetable vendor and I started practice three months
earlier for this event without quitting my business.
Yes, Sauntrey and all other underdeveloped nations
apologize to you all that we are not lucky enough to have
facilities like your countries in not only sports but also in
every sphere of life. We were overwhelmed that we
reached this far and at least we are marking the presence
of Sauntrey, without knowing the ground realities. I and
my whole team announce our retirement after our first
international event. Now, we all will indulge in the
development of our nation and I promise you that coming

generations of Sauntrey will lead in every

aspect...including sports, Thanks again."
Mr. Bham Bhokda left the Press Conference; reporters
were still silence and were gathering words in their
defense. Some lucky reporters who were not working on
the Live Reports edited a considerable portion of Bham
Bhokda's speech.
The Sautrian Camp was full of tears, Sauntrians were
consoling each other. But the sense of pride resumed
automatically in them after listening to Mr. Bham Bhokda's
reply. Reporters were also reporting Mr. Bham Bhokda's
statements to increase their T.R.P. ratings....and goodwill.
Mr. Bham Bhokda made this Olympic historical and
memorable because Sauntrey Team returned to their
Country with a review team to access the conditions of
Sauntrey. Later an Headquarter of International Sports
Development Authority (S.D.A.), was initiated in Sauntrey
with its branches in all Underdeveloped and developing
countries to find the raw talent and train them in different
sports.
A list of all such 'unprivileged' Countries was prepared
according to different international measures and many
developed countries started to help in the development of
listed countries. Sauntrey, with its other counterparts is
heading towards a better and secure future. Mr. Bham
Bhokda is the head of S.D.A. and is also training his

daughter with a dream to make her an Olympic Champion

one day.
The End!

11) - Just Hear This!

There was a Deer,
Whose ear sensed a Bear,
Deer froze with fear,
and Bear came near.
Negotiated Deer,
"Dear Bear, I have Beer,
with which you can cheer."
Bear changed his mind's gear,
Bear drank beer.
And also tried to tear the deer,
Escaped Deer,
by reminding Bear,
That Bear forgot to wear his underwear.

12) "Police, Please Save the

Earth!"

5 year old Alia and her parents Josh and Maria are
watching a sci-fi movie. Movies climax shows the Dooms
Day....destruction of earth...and this topic ignited. Alia was
asking question at the speed of 1 per 5 seconds.
"Its very simple."
"Is it, Daddy?"
"Yes, every time you switch off lights, fans, A.C. or other
electrical appliances...or when your Mom shuts down her
PC....or when we turn off the tap if we dont need water,
we save earth from destruction."
"How can we measure that?"
"Well.....you postpone the doomsday by 1 second for
every switch off, turn off...when you dont need those
things any more."
"Wow, thats cool." Alia instantly switched off the lights of
the room.
"Oh! Alia, it's almost midnight. I said when you don't need
those things."

After few days Alia called 911 complaining....

"My neighbors are conspiring to destruct the earth and
with the level of their plans the earths end...at least our
city's end is near."
Though, she was unable to explain the details. So, the
Police Party reached Alias house and questioned her
parents, neighbors.
"Oh..Okay.....we were planning for a Grand Christmas
Party."
The End!

13)- 'Jehadi' Terrorist Interview

"Hello."
"Al-Hello"
"What is your name?"
"Al-Pussa but my friends call me Al-Cunta."
"What are your aims?"
"To preserve environment and save energy."
"Ahem! How?"

"By protecting oil reserves and resources from easterr

western countrieswhere is my left handthis pose is
right, challenging the western countries (and some
European, Asian, African, Australian, countries and their
research camps in Antarctica also) on my left hand
side.errright hand side."
"Sir, Photo Session is after the Interview. Why dont you
discuss and negotiate straight to those governments?"
"Because we are not Straight."
"So, you all are happy and gay?"
"Of course, Al-yes."
"Your English is impressive, It is not your mother
tongue.you learned Englishfrom where?"
"English Movies."
"Your favourite English movie?"
"Whats in the name? They all are the same."
"Okay, your favourite dialogue?"
"O Yesaaha..aaaaaaaO yesO my Gooo.aaaaaaaa
fcuk meya ya ya."
"Hmmm, thats good. So, what are....?

"By the way, one correction in the previous replyIts fuck

not fcukthe company may sue our organization. Edit this
portion."
"Your favourite countries?"
"Afghanistan, Syria, North Korea, Iraq, Pakistan, and all the
regions all over the world under Parallel Governments."
"Any part time job or hobby?"
"Preparation of scripts and giving ideas for the videos and
material published of all the Jehadi Organizations of this
region. We have a big creative panel. I sometimes also
manage set designing and kidnapping of people with
different origins for the videos and photos."
"Your Country is Underdeveloped. You should participate
in its development. Why are you."
"Al-Shut up! Your country is over conscious about external
affairs, people of your country are involved in many
unethical practices...."
"Wow! You are so intelligent. Who told you all this?"
"He heThanks! Actually this was a part of Budding
Brigade Brainwash Program" to shut up the clever people
we kidnap. I can speak a lot more on this..."
"Thank you for the Interview, Bye"
"Al-Bye-Bye...Wait a minute...what about the Photo
Session?"

The End!

14) - 'True' is 'False'

Note: Dowry or Dahej is the payment in cash or/and kind
by the bride's family to the bridegroom' s family along with
the giving away of the bride.

"Your parents insulted my family in public. So many people

who knew me and my family were laughing at us."
"No, Soumya you got it all wrong. They wanted to explain
your relatives and family that we were in a festive Hindu
Ceremony and they (your family and relatives) were
drinking liquor and creating a scene in public....that's why
my Mother and Father lost their temper and said all that
stuff...in the process they pushed some of your drunk
relatives..but even then I think it was not offensive."
"Wow! but you know what, I think it was offensive. What
about the Interview Call of my sister from the M.N.C.
where your father is a Deputy Director? We made her fill
the form of that company. We told all our friends and
relatives that she is selected in that company as an
accountant...as my Father in Law is on a very high post in

that company but she was not selected....how

embarrassing it was..."
"But, Papa said that there were more qualified and eligible
people for the vacancies and he...."
"Yeah, I know that he is the Honesty-Is-The-Fucking-BestPolicy-Man, that too in India. My Parents are waiting for
me outside and I am going but before that I have a
surprise for you..."
"What? We can talk; separation and divorce are not the
right options."
"Ha Ha...Oh, my poor Husband. Don't you think it's too
simple? Now I have a Kitchen Knife with Sasu Maa ji's
(Mother In Law) fingerprints on them...then I have my
Bottle of acid of my Post Graduation Course...you used it
when our sink got choked...so, here's your
fingerprints...we will manage Sasur ji's (Father In Law)
too."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"See...Holding this knife with my saree i cut myself...here
on my elbow..aah!!...On my leg...ouch!!..Then few drops
of acid on my legs...aaaaaiiiii Mommy!!!...it hurts much
more than I thought....not to worry and don't call the
Doctor because I already called the Police...and please
don't dare to repeat your foolish questions, now I am
official..amm...authorized Dowry victim...By the way, one
more random thing which I always wanted to tell you...our

neighbor's teenager son...yes, that talented Cricket player,

Sumit gives me the services of his 7 Incher almost daily
which is 2 Inch more than yours..."
"What...wait...we can talk. Its not over, No! Please don't
put false allegation of Dowry on me...please think about
my career, my life, my family's reputation."
"Let me finish, Raman Darling. It's not only you...my InLaws are also criminals under Anti Dowry Act...as you
three not only attacked and abused me but also injured
my family....they are bleeding outside...after the
struggle...Indian Police comes late...you have to wait for
few more minutes...and as 'Indian Railways' always
announce 'Inconvenience caused is deeply regretted...Ting
Tong!' Now you and your parents go to the City's Central
Jail under Indian Penal Code 498A, which states that
Husband or relative of husband of a woman subjecting
her to cruelty shall be punished with imprisonment for a
term which may extend to three years and shall also be
liable to fine.' Ask details about this act from the Police
when they arrive...now, it's time for you and your family to
face humiliation."
"No..it's not IPC 498A for me, you Bitch...it's IPC 302."
"What?"
"Oh, My darling, you watch so many Bollywood Hindi
Movies..you know what it means...IPC 302 says Whoever
commits murder shall be punished with death, or
imprisonment for life and shall also be liable to fine."

Raman grabbed the knife from her and stabbed Soumya

till death. Then he killed her parents who were "injured"
and "bleeding" in the garden waiting for the Police Party.
At last, after few more minutes, Police Jeep Siren breaks
the monotonous silence.

The End!
Author Notes:
1) - MNC - Multi National Company.
2) - Section 498A of Indian Penal Code:
Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the
husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall
be punished with imprisonment for a term which may
extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine.
Explanation-For the purpose of this section, "cruelty"
means- (a) Any willful conduct which is of such a nature as
is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause
grave injury or danger to life, limb or health whether
mental or physical) of the woman; or
(b) Harassment of the woman where such harassment is
with a view to coercing her or any person related to her to
meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable
security or is on account of failure by her or any person
related to her meet such demand.]

3) - Plus there is IPC Section 304B and if death of a married

woman does "not occur under normal circumstances",
within seven years of her marriage. Whoever commits
dowry death is required to be punished with
imprisonment for a term which shall not be less than
seven years but which may extend to imprisonment for
life. Many times a suicide or accident turn into "Dowry
Death", thanks to many families who thinks there was
nothing wrong with their daughters, sisters.
4) - Section 302 of Indian Penal Code - Whoever commits
murder shall be punished with death, or imprisonment for
life and shall also be liable to fine.
5) - There are thousands of registered N.G.O (Non
Governmental Organization)for Womens Rights in India
plus Government Departments and of course a full fledged
"Mahila Aayog" a semi ministry for women. They have to
do something...they do...they frame stats, surveys, etc and
publish them everywhere to negative-generalize "all" men
and glorify "all" women.
In the process they suppress the reports of false
accusation of crime against women. Men involved in crime
against women in even 10 years is less then 2% of the total
more than 520 Millions Indian men and in 10 years
millions are added to the adult population.
6) - About the Misuse of Anti-Dowry Act.
Your wife/daughter-in-law who's demands are not met can
make a written false complaint of dowry harassment to a

nearby police station. The husband, his old parents and

relatives are immediately arrested without sufficient
investigation and put behind bars on a non-bailable terms.
Even if the complaint is false, you shall be presumed guilty
until you prove that you are innocent.
498A can only be invoked by wife/daughter-in-law or her
relative. Most cases where Sec 498A is invoked turn out to
be false (as repeatedly accepted by High Courts and
Supreme Court in India) as they are mere blackmail
attempts by the wife (or her close relatives) when faced
with a strained marriage. In most cases 498a complaint is
followed by the demand of huge amount of money
(extortion) to settle the case out of the court.
This section is non-bailable (you have to appear in court
and get bail from the judge), non-compoundable
(complaint can't be withdrawn) and cognizable (register
and investigate the complaint, although in practice most of
the time arrest happens before investigation).
Root of this evil is unnecessary Misandry spread by many
influential groups and people for their benefit.
There have been countless instances where, without any
investigation, the police has arrested elderly parents,
unmarried sisters, pregnant sister-in-laws and even 3 year
old children. In these cases unsuspecting family of
husband has to go through a lot of mental torture and
harassment by the corrupt Indian legal system. A typical
case goes on for years (5-7 years is typical) and the

conviction rate is about 2% only. Some accused parents,

sisters and even husbands have committed suicide after
time in jail.

15) -"Komodo Dragon Walk is

sexier than Cat Walk!"
Place: Yangon (Rangoon), Burma.
Occasion: A regional Beauty Pageant, Final Round.
Judge What is more sensual, sexier than a Cat Walk?
Contestant (A Biotechnology Undergraduate Student)
Sir, Definitely a "Komodo Dragon Walk" moving
his/her/its bottom 75 Degrees both sides. Thats 45
Degrees more than a standard Cat Walk. Salamanders are
also very close..Losing this 'bottom twist battle' just by few
degrees.
Judge - Good, you are selected....

Contestant - Wow! I knew how to impress anyone...you

know as they always say beauty with brains.
Judge -.....for the United Nations Zoological Data
Collection, Analysis and Research Program.....and the
regional branch of United Nations is 4.7 kilometers that's
4700 meters from here. Good Luck and Good Bye!
The End!
Author Notes:
Komodo dragon is a large species of lizard found in the
Indonesian islands of Komodo, Rinca, Flores, and Gili
Motang. A member of the monitor lizard family
(Varanidae), it is the largest living species of lizard. Gifted
with super sexy walk!

16) Best Bond

An elderly woman was shouting and crying beside the
dead body of her son. He died in a road accident. He was
the only support of his old mother. One neighbor was
telling these details to other, who was keen to listen and
respond.
Benoy, driver of a Hears Car came to know about all these
and many more things about the lady and her son from
the murmuring of the crowd of relatives and neighbors.
Though, He was used to hear louder cries of people for
their near ones as in India relations are one of the most
important factor of human life.
But this was a Christian family irrespective to Hindu
families which Benoy usually encountered in his daily life.
Suddenly a thought came into Benoy's mind that how
similar is his family to this "case".

He was also the only support of his elderly mother. The

only difference was that Benoy was alive and was
somehow managing the survival with his mother, who
used to prepare decorative items which were sold by their
neighbor, Lakhu in City's main Market.
Sales of these items were satisfactory only during festivals.
The colony in which they resided was a "Semi Slum", and
about 20 Miles from the city of Rampur. He thought that
what would happen to his mother after his death. Then to
escape from this disturbing thought he indulged himself in
dusting his 'means of earning', as he always did whenever
he got emotional, an inert body causing pain to its near
and dear ones.
Later, in the evening lender of the Hears Car asked for the
day's earning and got no response started shouting at
Benoy. Instead of listening, Benoy was thinking about that
lady. This was the first time when Benoy was emotional
about a 'case'.....similar to all other deaths but yet so
different.
On the other hand the short, fat, fluffish man was not in
mood to forgive Benoy. Though he was a rich man and
even Lakhu worked for him but when it comes to
money.....he was a hungry Rhino ready to ruin the
settlement.
He noticed absent minded Benoy and commented in harsh
tone.

"This job is not for an emotional man like you and yes,
hesitant too."
Benoy again apologized but he continued.
"Listen to me carefully, if you want to work for me, you
should be Cold, dumb at work. Similar to a Cab or Taxi
Driver, you are wasting your fuel and efforts. So, why
hesitating in asking for money, after all work is work."
Benoy assured him that he will behave and act everything
in the manner 'Sahib' (Sir) wanted him to.
During his sleep he dreamed same old lady consoling his
Mother beside an inert body covered with white sheet.
Until the face of that body could be revealed Benoy
jumped in anxiety from his bed. The familiar thought that
who will take care of that old lady was again knocking his
mind but remembering the sweet wordings of Sahib was
enough to send him back to sleep. Then he slept after
deciding that he will visit the old woman tomorrow.
Next day, after completion of his work he went straight to
that woman house named 'Paulson Mansion', though it
was no way near to be called a mansion. Benoy was
standing outside the house for half an hour gathering
courage and wordings to face the poor lady. He was
hesitant enough to make a world record standing there
and he could have go on but that lady interrupted his
thoughts.
"Who are you"?

Mother, My name is Benoy. I am the driver...that Hears

Car." His quick response was a pleasant surprise even for
him.
"Yes, I forgot to pay you. I should...."
Super-Encouraged by his first reply he interrupted her.
"No, Mother, I am here just to tell you that I am also like
your son and I know that I cannot replace him but still I will
do whatever I can to make your life comfortable and to
reduce the pain....to some extent."
Crossing this initial hurdle of his hesitation Benoy talked to
the lady for several hours. He told her about his
professional life, his mother, how emotional he got when
he saw her crying for her son and he was on and on and
on.
Even the woman was listening to him keenly. She neither
interrupted him nor did she look bored. She was
constantly gazing at him without blinking as if she was
praising that childish conversation. Benoy was also
consoling her regularly with assurance that he will visit her
place everyday...seemed that the Innocence and simplicity
of Benoy touched her.
After that day, Benoy was regular visitor of Paulson
Mansion every evening. He talked even about Lakhu and
Sahib to make her smile. He asked her to do any of her
work or any financial help (with the help of Sahib) but she
plainly rejected and never asked him for any kind of help.

She only liked to talk to him. It was rather a

monologue.....Benoy.
The only thing that broke the conversation was the
thought of his mother waiting for him with dinner, she
never ate dinner without him. It was her condition that at
least, one time a day Benoy must eat with her. Sometimes,
the lady herself reminded him that his Mother is waiting
for him, with surety as if she was watching Benoy's
mother.
One such day, Benoy was quite tired but with his habit he
was there on the gate of Paulson Mansion. He talked to
that lady and gradually fell asleep leaning on the gate.
Scent of morning breeze and chirping of birds were making
him realize that his short snooze was converted into night
long sleep. The Old lady was not in the scene.
Without disturbing and enquiring the old lady about his
unusual slumber, he rushed to Sahib for that day's work.
He was preparing himself for any "worst case scenario" as
he was already very late. Benoy was cursing himself
because he was unable to draft satisfactory excuses to
escape from Sahib bombardment. When he reached to
Sahib Office with his Hears Car, Sahib was relax and happy
to see him.
Sahib even hugged him; and of course, Benoy was amused
as this was the last thing one can expect from Sahib.

Sahib - You are very lucky, my boy. You were absent

yesterday and I managed a temporary driver who was
severely injured in an accident.
Surprised Benoy, as he was only late not absent, but as
always he was hesitating to counter Sahib, but still for
reduction of his confusion he murmured.
Benoy - How?
Sahib - Misbalanced Vehicle fell in Yamuna River. Later his
inert body was recovered. We all were worried about you.
Jesus! thank you so much.
Benoy was startled because he slept for a night and if
Sahib and others are right. How can he sleep for a day and
a half, a nap of 36 Hours and nobody even noticed him
hanging on a gate?
Lakhu and Benoy mother questions confirmed that he was
"nowhere" yesterday. Benoy went to Old woman house
and shared this incident. She was also surprised and was
reacting in Benoy's manner.
This 1 day absence mystery was eating Benoy, everyone
was congratulating him that how lucky he was but he
wanted somebody to tell him actually where he was.
Headache of that incident vanished in just couple of days
as Benoy's mother got a Heart Attack and was admitted in
Hospital. Doctors explained him the critical condition of his
mother. There were blood clots in her brain due to uneven

functioning of her heart. Benoy borrowed money from

Sahib and his other contacts for the costly treatment. Still,
the money was far short from what was told to him for the
operation of his mother.
His visits to the Paulson Mansion were also halted.
Though he was exhausted and many of his reliable
contacts ignored (or even refused) his requests, Benoy was
desperate to save the life of his mother. Thought of asking
some help from the old lady passed him by for a moment
but then he dropped the idea that this will only add to her
misery.
...Night, he was sleeping outside the ward of his mother. A
familiar voice knocked his ears to pull him back from the
dreamy world.
"Benoy....son, I am here my son, don't you worry, now
your mother will be alright soon."
"But..."
The Old lady was standing in front of him and Benoy
rubbing his eyes and greeting simultaneously. He always
watched her with her home as background this hospital
was something to adapt.
"No if and but, required amount is deposited for the
treatment of your mother. By the way, you should never
hesitate asking for help....you called me mother and this

word symbolizes the bond which is beyond the things you

always hesitate to ask....its eternal."
"I am very sorry, mother, but who told you all this."
After a pause she replied.
"Lakhu, who else."
This was the first time that the monologue was from the
side of that lady and Benoy was only responding in yes, no,
sorry, thanks, etc.
Old lady was nonstop.
While giving, birth every woman experiences a part of her
body separated. Eye contact with her baby makes her
hypnotize and she gets unparallel joy from the mere touch
of young one. Women are secondary in the society
because they are sacrificing their social status from the
beginning of human race just for their families.
Delivering her "body part" she cries shouts and within
minutes she is on the top of the world with her baby. She
exactly knows when her baby needs her and why as if she
is still connected to her baby physically. This is the purest
relation which involves care, love, and almost everything
without any expectations in return. Let men rule the world
forever but motherhood is the difference which makes the
fairer sex better.
After sometime she got up and kissed Benoy's forehead
and said.

"Your, Mother, is very lucky."

Then she handed him an address.
"An old friend of mine needs some help and assistance in a
journey. Get there and assist her after your mother gets
okay."
Benoy's mother was out of danger the very next day and
relaxed Benoy happily went to share this news with Lakhu
and Sahib. After their conversation Lakhu was puzzled and
denied any conversation with an elderly woman. Benoy
was astonished too; he was forcing an unbelievable and
painful thought to stay away from him while he unfolded
the paper with address. He got nervous because address
on the paper was of Paulson Mansion.
He rushed to the lady's house and knocked, there was no
response. He enquired neighbors. They told him that they
have not seen her after the death of her son. These
uncertainties were chocking him. He repeatedly banged
the door but no one responded. He always conversed with
the old lady standing on the gate. He was too shy to ask
for a seat or to come in. She also heard him patiently
standing on the other side for hours.
Surrounded with confusions, nervousness, fear, Benoy
forcefully broke the door. Till then neighbors called the
Police and followed him. Dead body of the lady was lying
on the chair with photograph of her son, still tightly intact
in her hand. Foul smell of the body forced everyone to

leave the room except Benoy who was gazing a

"Mother".....his Mother.
Now, every mystery, confusion was crystal clear that how
she helped him all these days and the journey she meant
was her own final journey.
Later, with the completion of all the legal formalities
Benoy claimed the body and buried it in a respectful
manner....as a son.
Benoy regularly visits the changed "place" of the old lady
and monologues in the same manner as he earlier did.

You are lucky, Benoy........

.....The End

17) - Are you Proud to be a

Man/Woman?
A Man - "I am Proud to be a Man."

A Woman - "I am Proud to be a Woman."

A Mohit -"Hi! Fans! Sit down. Being a Man or a Woman is
not an achievement (or a disability) it's just a result..a
probability...if the X chromosome of male parent meets
the X chromosome of female parent (produces a female
offspring), and if Y chromosome of male parent meets X
chromosome of female parent (produces a male
offspring). So, you two did nothing in this. Please no
references, examples, of what right or wrong others did
(either gender). Everything differs from individual to
individual. So, the fight should be good versus Evil, not
Men Versus Women. Therefore, the formula is....
Good (Men + Women) versus Evil (Men + Women)
Instead of,
Men versus Women.
Now, Go fight!

The End!

18) Rates of Education

Aroras are a high society family living in the upper class

neighborhood of Vasant Vihar located in Delhi. Mr. Lele
Arora is an established film producer and owns a company
which manufactures 'Aapki Dakar'(An antacid which
relieves acidity). Enjoying life with his wife and their twin
sons, Mr. Lele Arora is currently getting stressed with his
life. The stress is giving him hair loss. The reason of the
stress is one of the mischievous twins, Chandan. Now,
Chandan and Vandan maybe twins but their philosophy on
life is as contrary as their underwear brands. Vandan's
daily basis includes studying at school and studying at
home...Chandan on other hand enjoys pranking
teachers/classmates at school and bugging Vandan at
home. Hopefully, both of the 10 year old are in separate
sections of Class 5th at their school.
Chandan is in Section A and views his class as a room of
confinement. He views each of his teachers as a member
of 'Al-Qaeda'! And the title of 'Osama Bin Laden' is held by
his Maths Teacher, Mr. Sanki Chandra.
Mr. Chandra - Homework?
Chandan's fist' tightly clenched his pencil box, his legs
froze, and his answer came in the form of a belch or in
common words a burp.
Mr. Chandra - That was not your homework!
Chandan - That was a 'Dakar', You can cure them by

Antacid Fruit Salt made by my fathers company. Would

you like to try our new flavor?
The whole class started to laugh and Chandan was
marched to the Principal's Office. Things were starting to
look a little bit dark for Section B which is Vandan's
section.
Mrs. Pakhandi - Students! Today we are going to start
Algebra.
Suddenly, a Peon from office came into the room.

Mrs. Pakhandi - It seems we have a special announcement

from the Principal. Our, Section has been chosen for a
research experiment. We are going to study, 'Graphing
Logarithmic Functions' which apparently we study in
Classes 11th and 12th....How exciting!
Vandan - YIPPY......!

'Sit down or I will stab you with my compass!'

After a week the Logs had seemed to crack Vandan's mind,
leading him to imagine that his sheets full of Logarithmic
Graphs were talking to him.
Vandan - Logs, why are you so curved up?

Logs - It's the education system beta! Whenever a child

fails or gets below average marks on his tests/exams I eat
the child adding these curves on my straight and linear
figure!
Vandan - Are you going to help me on the Board Test after
Recess?
Logs - You have a 66.9% chance of passing the test
compared to 35% population of India which is still
illiterate. But, since just 7% of students graduate this
lowers your percentage to the verge of becoming my
dinner. My lines will reach out of the paper, then pull you
in and after you are held together by my curves I will eat
you!
Vandan's pants became wet.
Logs - Did you just Su - Su
Mrs. Pakhandi's period started.
Mrs. Pakhandi - Vandan it's your turn to draw the graph on
board. You may bring a piece of rough paper for
calculations.
Vandan holding his Logs went in front of the board. He
whispered quietly to Logs.

Vandan - KSSSHTT...Tell me the answer!

Vandan's eyes started to see Logs' lines forming words and
his hands started to move at the speed of light which is c =
3.00 x 10^8 m/s.
The whole class started to laugh and when Mrs. Pakhandi
looked at the board to read the joke her laughter got
buried underneath her anger.
Mrs. Pakhandi - VANDAN ARORA...
Vandan - I knew what my surname was when I was in
Nursery, Ma'am!
The laughter from class became heavier.

Mrs. Pakhandi - QUIET DOWN CLASS! Explain to me the

reason for such ill mannered behavior?
Vandan - It just says that, 'My communist nature forbids
me from drawing any lines on the board!'
Logs He he...Classic!
Looks like Vandan's career is in jeopardy. Today the local
Police were coming into every class and giving students
some tips.

Chandan's evil smile is enough to say that he is prepared.

Mr. Chandra - Ok, class these policemen are going to talk
about the importance of our nation and what we can do to
keep it safe.
Before the Policeman could speak, Chandan jumped on his
bench and started screaming.
Chandan - He did it! Chandra did it...He is the head of
multiple terrorist organizations. He is always teaching us Al
- Geometria, Al - Alzebra...He is planning on selling each of
us to different nations, after planning it with his Al - Rates
of Studenta...Arrest him...Or, I will be getting eaten by a
herd of bearded nudists tanning on Afghanistan rocks.
'Arrest Him, Harish!'
Mr. Chandra - You.....I will get you...You son of a....

Chandan - Son of Lele Arora!

The whole class was filled with joy and excitement. Back at
Arora House, things were reversed now.
Lele Arora - Diya, Vandan is getting suspended for making
fun of his teacher and Chandan is getting a medal next
week for getting his terrorist teacher arrested....I think my
hair are starting to grow back!

The End!

19) India = (U.S.A. + Africa)/2

Professor: Define India in brief?
Student: Sir, India = (U.S.A. + Africa)/2
Professor: Whoa! Please explain!
Student: India, fully equipped with the features of both
advanced and backward countries in every sphere of life
from Standard of living to Sanitation. One moment you
encounter fully maintained posh colonies, Malls,
Industries, etc and within few yards there are slums,
mountains of garbage, etc. Development is scattered and
not properly distributed. India is not great but still not that
bad. With development, growth and commercialization

increasing at remarkable pace lets hope that India will be a

developed nation in couple of decades.
Examples of This mixture,
*) - India is neither capitalist economy nor socialist
economy, it's a mixed economy.
*) - Not a developed country...not a underdeveloped
country...it's a Developing country.
*) - The Human Development Index rates India in
'Medium' countries. Recently, ranked 128 out of about 200
countries.
*) - Even the general complexion of Indians is, (White +
Black)/2.
*) - The policies, International Trade, GDP, National
Income, Per Capita Income, Sports, Growth
Rate...medium.
Professor: In short India is synonym of Contrast.
Class: Right! Sir
Student: Sir, this is cheating. I explained everything and
you jumped in to be the showstopper with that little
synonym-contrast thing.
The End!

20) - The Making of Dirty

Scene in a Bollywood Movie
Scene in Script A dirty mind villain is walking towards
heroin with dirty thoughts in his mind, in short a Rape
scene. As this was a Hindi "Family" Movie they were only
covering face expressions of villain and heroin.
Director was briefing villain and heroin about this scene.
First Director started the shooting of about 30 seconds of
Helpless Heroins expressions.
Director You have to give us "pure strange, puzzled plus
frightened expressions" like you gave after your wardrobe
malfunction in an event last month. What/Which/Who is
the most scariest thing in this world for you?
Heroin Dont put most before scariest just to make your
instructions more heavier. Scariest creatures for me are
my Mother in Law and my Sister in Law.
Director But we can't afford any of the two, and after all
members of my film unit are humans too like you. I have
another option though not as great as your Mother in Law
or Sister in Law but still above average. Where is the
sweeper?

Sweeper makes a jumping entry to impress the Director

with a poly bag full of cockroaches, fresh from gutter.
Director Lights,
Sound,
Roll Camera,
Action
...Wait!
Lights,
Sound,
Roll Camera,
Roll Cockroaches,
Action!
Sweeper opens the poly bag and cockroaches got their
freedom once again but instead of proceeding towards the
'ready' Heroin they turned back and marched towards the
film unit. Now every member of the crew was giving "pure
strange, puzzled plus frightened expressions" except the
Heroin and the Sweeper.
Villain ran for his life and vanished into the Make-UpVanity-Van of the Heroin. Many cockroaches vanished in
this event but at last few heterosexual cockroaches

returned towards the heroin and film unit resumed the

film shoot.
Now, 30 seconds of villain's face expression.
"Dark roomyou walk towards helpless lady...give me
those classic expressions, Paapi ji. You are such a versatile
rapist of our film industry but those memorable vintage
expressions you gave in 'Pappi le le' (Kiss Me), 'Dushashan'
(A horny mythological character and wanna be rapist), etc
are missing. Okay, think of your wife seducing you."
Paapi Ugh! Yaak!! Actually, I feel nothing new. Even
when I walk towards my wife smiling to ask for tea or
something, she calls Police saying that I am attempting a
marital rape....man.
Director Okay, cool down, sir, think of my wife....
Paapi Haaaaaa!
Director Thats my rapist! Now you have to walk
towards the two cameras with this face...Lean on the
ground camera....Foreplay with the two cameras....there is
a Sari, blouse, etc, beside the ground camera pull
everything....Oh why I am telling you all this, you are a
pro...and..and sir though we are covering your upper body
but give us some pelvic thrusts you were expert in giving in
your struggling days as a Background Dancer.
Ready! Okay then....
Lights,

Sound,
Roll Camera,
Roll Villain annnnnd Action!
Paapi Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Come on, Baby, MMere..Paas
aao, aao. Ha Ha Ha! I cant wait.
Director whispers "Sir, the pelvic thrusts from mid air
and be original dont copy Raj Babbar."
Paapi Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Ha.......AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Misbalanced Paapi falls on the camera and breaks himself
and the camera.
Director Idiot, I suggested him to take a break from his
monotonous roles and he broke himself, Pack Up!!!!!!!

The End!

21) - Infecting Infatuation

A chair rested under a delicate yet spreading tree, the only

living thing that, at least, spitted a little puddle of shade on
the dusty, baked earth. She spotted it from afar and lazily
walked towards it. The clearing swarmed with tired yet
mysteriously busy students, rushing from one person to
another. Sometimes the way people talked and chatted
continuously made her sick. Nonstop un-creativity! or am
I Heartsick. She had a habit, a bad one hopefully, of
noticing how people sometimes said meaningless things,
ultimately stupid things and made fools of themselves in
front of others. That too over and over again with new
permutations and combinations just to prove that they
learnt from past which actually is not the case.
She soon reached the little puddle of shade under the
lonesome rather sad-looking tree and took a deep breath,
gulping a bolus of hot, dusty air. Carelessly dropping her
bag to the ground she carefully balanced herself on the
chair and sat back, slowly wiping her forehead with the
back of her hand. She wasn't in a hurry and that sense of
realization always made her do things leisurely.
After what felt like hours, she flickered her eyes open and
looked around. Somehow she had managed to sleep in the
middle of all the unpleasant chaos. The bustling throng
had evaporated by now and only a few were scattered
around either in tiny bundles or couples, some alone too.
While scanning the remains of what seemed like a
stubborn monster a while ago, she spotted a boy standing
right in the middle of the diminutive desert of a parking

lot.
He stood straight yet he had a peculiar laziness to himself
quite similar to her. With his hands stuffed inside his
pockets, he languidly paced around his bag and Hockey
stick which were piled on the ground right besides him.
She peered at him with observant eyes, absorbing every
drop of fantasy that his appearance provided. His head
was heaped with a mass of half curly half wavy brown hair
which crowned him beautifully. She gazed at them and
deep down in the gossamer of her thoughts, imagined her
fingers sinking into them. She instantly felt them soft and
teasing against her finger tips and a chill ran down her
spine. The sinister sunlight molded his whiskey brown eyes
into tiny slit which slightly curved upwards whenever he
smiled. His features had a delicacy to them and it felt as if
God had made him with brilliant finesse exhibiting his
skill and flamboyance. A small mystifying smile touched
the corner of his lips and suddenly, he looked up at her.

She was caught. She felt streams of sweat gliding down

her chest and she instantly lowered her gaze, rubbing her
thumb against the palm of the other hand. Moments later
she looked back at him and saw him standing, staring at
the ground. She longed for those eyes to look back at her
and this time she decided to look back into them. He
playfully kicked a pebble and raised his eyes to her But
this time it was him who directly dropped his eyes to the

ground. He was shy! And that, bizarrely, added another

feather to his already mesmerizing collection. This boosted
her buoyancy and she glued her eyes to him, drinking in
every move. Another look and another exhibit of modesty.
How cruel God can be sometimes, she thought to herself.
Moments later, a yellow bus purred into the parking lot,
setting off the dusty ground into shallow clouds. For the
first time, she moved her glance and peered at the bus. It
was his bus. This meant hed go away. A labyrinth of
emotions settled inside her. Hell go, she wondered sadly.
But Ill see him tomorrow again, that brought about
anticipation. With the very same aloofness, he picked up
his bag and draped it over his shoulder, Hockey stick in the
other hand, and rather swiftly walked towards the bus.
Once inside, she disowned him and started making circles
in the sand beneath her feet with a firm yet dying straw.

The End!

22) The Earth Show

An idea for a Comedy-Adventure comic series.
Param is an ambitious scientist who left his family business

& set up his private laboratory for space research. Though,

his family members; father Ratan Talwar, mother Sonam
Talwar & elder brother Sawan Talwar were against his
wish to pursue a career where success rate has always
been very low but they supported Param financially,
hoping that very soon after few failures he will understand
his responsibilities.
A Post Graduate girl Kaya who belongs to a middle class
family is Params research assistant. Her knowledge is
limited and she is here only for money. She manages the
instruments, papers & other things in lab efficiently but
she often messes up in experiments, compilation & related
literary work.
Param invents a Beam-Wave which is much more
powerful than existing radio waves & other signal waves.
It can cover a distance of 1/2 light year. Param encodes
basic information about him, earth and transmits/launches
it into space. After 3 Months of its launch this wave is
traced by an Alien Planets Haluwas highly developed
Entertainment Industry which is facing saturation and
viewers are demanding variety.
Haluwaian Experts with the help of technology instantly
decode the information and pass it on to Abe-Oye, the big
daddy of Entertainment Industry. He finds Param, earth
and way of living on earth amusing, funny.
Abe-Oye copies the wave and sends back more powerful,

continous waves which makes direct contact with Params

and Kayas body. The waves sent by Haluwa were
untraceable by earths devices, and were designed to
transmit Params, Kayas body anywhere on earth along
with providing them random Haluwa powers and
weapons. The selection on where should Param and Kaya
go on earth and the random powers/weapons they should
be given to tackle the challenges was based on national
polls on Haluwa Planet.

Abe-Oye wanted to know the public response so he

started an experimental mini TV series in which he sent
Param-Kaya duo to 20 locations on earth. If mini-series
goes well...I will make a grand series with many more
Params and Kayas in it. He said to himself.

After completion of every adventure it is deleted from the

memories of every related person, witness, families and of
course, Param and Kaya. The basic info about new
adventure, place, people, tools, etc is placed in their mind
before every new adventure. Plus the income, royalties
from the show on Haluwa somehow reaches them in cash
or kind (all legal) with the help of same miracle waves. The
first poll result sends them to Bangalore where they are
part of voluntary Civil Police maintaining law and order in

the city facing a protest by nudists from all over the

country.
The End!
Author Notes:
*) There is a provision in Indian Constitution that after
Police verification, a citizen can help Police Force in
maintaining law and order on permanent or temporary
basis. This depends on the history and prevailing
conditions of the area.

23) Fcuk Indian Police!

A Father (Inspector in Archives, Radio Department)
A Son (Sales Executive in a Private Company)

A Microphone (Election Campaign Loudspeaker Speeches

from a nearby ground)

----------------X--------------------------X--------------------------X---------------------------

Father worked in Civil Police for about 30 years & then

authorities transferred him to Nothing Department &
reduced the possibilities of timely promotions in future by
putting a Bad Entry in his record. Reason
Scapegoatism! Making him accountable for the mistakes
of senior officers which is a common practice in India.
People study & labor for years to clear the top level Civil
Services exams. Best of the best minds clear these exams
& then willingly become a part of Indian Dormant System
to get their lifelong harvests. 6 year passed & this transfer
proved to be good for Fathers health as the nature of job
is simple & office timings are fixed unlike the hectic,
uneven & unending job of Indian Civil Police. Due to
shortage of Police personnel in the province, Police
Department is offering jobs of equivalent designation to
senior, experienced officers of allied Departments for a
period of couple of year until next recruitment &
promotions reduce the shortage to a manageable extent.
Surprisingly, they also offered Police Inspector job to
father who is 57 years old & just 3 years short of

retirement.
Father is excited & considering this as a golden second
chance. On the other hand, son wants his Father to decline
this offer & continue with the present easy job until his
retirement, which lead to this argument.
Father Civil Police is the best way to serve the society.
Son Then why dont people in civil police serve the
society?
Father Many Police officers I know are doing whatever
they can to help others.
Son The number is quite less compared to all the Police
officers.
Father Basically, its a personal choice & for me my
nation & duties are right up there in my priority list.
Microphone We will clean the polluted system.
Influential people will not use Police for their benefit.
Son Ha ha..
Father I am not going to clarify the points of these
campaign speeches or views.
Son They dumped you because of someone else mistake.

The IPS Officer who was responsible was too respectable

to be responsible. They can do this again.

Father Yes but 2-3 such incidences cant overshadow the

work I did & satisfaction I got in almost 30 years of service.
Microphone We will recruit real men in Police who can
serve society without taking bribes for their work.
Son Bastards!
Father Relax! I am a real man then. Hmmm? My point is
helping a poor victim or solving heinous crimes & the
Thanks look by suffering families gives me immense
satisfaction & peace.
Son O Please Dad! Whatever you do never counts or
even when it counts your seniors take majority of credit. I
saw you often working late at Night, missing get-togethers,
parties because someone killed someone or Biker Gang
looted a Bus, etc.etc. People negatively generalize Police.
Media almost always shows faults by Police even adding
fictitious details to sensationalize their stories. Nature of
this job sucks!
Father Nature? Is this a Management term for
something I dont understand?
Son Nope! Actually, compare my job and your civil police

job. Your duties, responsibilities include the money factor,

lives of people factor. Like robberies, murders, security,
kidnapping, etcso, if you analyze a case wrong or arrive
at a crime scene late people can die. Mistakes, errors in
your job can be lethal for others & yourself. In shootouts
you fought with primitive rifles, revolvers against semiautomatic weapons of criminals. Though, number of
people on your side saved you a few times. Now, whatever
wrong intentionally or unintentionally I do as a Salesman
of this sports company I work for, no one is dying. They
can suffer a loss of few hundred Rupees & thats it.
Majority of jobs are like mine. No newspaper or TV
channel is showing that I am short of my sales target as
only monetary factor is there but they will cover a Bad
Entry with detailed report in your case. This world is all
about being good on records. Ultimately, that's how one
gets satisfaction & peace.
Microphone Fuck Police!
The End!

24) - Good & Bad Company

Place: A Sacred fig, Bharatpur Bird Sanctuary.

Bharatpur Bird Sanctuary (Keoladeo Ghana National Park)
in Rajasthan, India is a famous avifauna sanctuary that
sees thousands of rare and highly endangered birds such
as the Siberian Crane come here during the winter season.
Over 230 species of birds are known to have made the
National Park their home.
Little Sparrow - Dad, they are my friends. We do few
things together and spend some time. At the end of the
day, I return to home. I have my mind, family and life. Its
just a fraction of a day we are together. That too, not on
daily basis. Sorry, I dont understand your Good companyBad company theory.
Daddy Sparrow Beti*, surroundings, neighbours,
friends, colleagues, etc make a lifelong impact on almost
all the creatures.
Little Sparrow No, Papa, I disagree....
Daddy Sparrow - Alright, I will explain this with the help
of some practical examples. Go and chat with that group
of Asian Koels near the lake.
After Half an Hour.
Little Sparrow Daddy, they are awesome birds. They
knew so much about life, karma and all. They are helping

numerous old and injured Birds of this place. They gave

me few herbs as a present.
Daddy Sparrow Where do they come from?
Little Sparrow Himalayas, near the ashrams of Sadhus,
Yogis and Buddhist Monasteries.
Daddy Sparrow Good, now similarly make friends with
those stylish and funky migratory birds, 'Greater
Flamingos' stationed at the other side of the lake.
Few Moments Later.

Little Sparrow - Ouch Daddy, You knew everything? They

poked me everywhere, snatched my herbs. They were
constantly bullying, abusing, eve-teasing* me and many
other birds. They captured few nests beating the native
birds..and...
Daddy Sparrow Oh! And?
Little Sparrow They were from those areas of
Afghanistan with many terrorist camps and bases.
The End!
Author Notes:

*) - A Sacred fig, is a species of banyan fig native to

Bangladesh, India, Nepal, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, southwest
China and Indochina. It is a large dry season-deciduous or
semi-evergreen tree up to 30 m tall and with a trunk
diameter of up to 3 m.
*) - Beti = Daughter. (Hindi)
*) - Greater Flamingos are the largest member of the
flamingo family and they are the most widespread. They
stand at 1.5 m (5 ft) tall, they have a wingspan between
1.4 and 1.7 m (4.5 - 5.5 ft) and they weigh up to 4 Kgs (8.75
lbs). They are pinkish white in colour but immature birds
are grey before they get their full adult plumage. They
have long, pink legs with relatively small webbed feet, and
a very long neck.
*) - "Eve teasing" is a euphemism used in South Asian
Countries, originated in India for public harassment, street
harassment or molestation of women by few percent of
dirty men (mostly offensive, abusive, insulting gestures,
verbal abuse etc), with Eve being a reference to the
biblical Eve.