EVERYTHING IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR -- The rules of fair play do not apply in love and war.

It implies that people can suspend the law or the rules in special circumstances. Moreover it defines the behavior that is unpleasant or not fair is acceptable during an argument or competition. The proverb has been traced back to John Lyly's 'Euphues' . First attested in the United States in Horse-Shoe Robinson. The proverb is found in varying forms. The proverb is frequently used to justify cheating (Titelman, 1996). Apart from the origin or general definition of this proverb, we people think that it defines people in love and soldiers in wartime are not bound by the rules of fair play. Love and war are things to be compared and contrasted. Love is something that has no rules and people feel like with the two, you fight to win. There is always a point at which in the two you shall stop. War should and does have rules, it can't be attacked the way people attack love. Love has no rules to it, so that is why it works or it does not. In eyes of many people love and war is not the same thing. These two things are completely different from each other, one being the North Pole and other being the South Pole. This is because, love relates to the peace and satisfaction while war implies to destruction and sufferings. Love is something that has no rules, boundaries and limitations and in order to get the desired person/love one might do anything which might be fair at all in the eyes of other people. Getting love at any means might be applicable whenever there are more than one person involve in getting the attention of a particular person from the other side. In many cases it is seen that love becomes a competition where there is only one prize involved any one is ready to do anything in order to win that race. And when this kind of scenario exists then the people involved tries their level best to hit their opponent with any means, whether it is fair or unfair, ethical or unethical. Many people might back this phrase by saying Love is blind which means that whenever you are in love you actually are not in your senses or in conscious mind to control your emotions and actions. But there lies another question: Is love always blind? On the other hand, in cases of war, it has to be within the rules and boundaries in order to attack your opponent. Winning the war at means might not be the sensible case in most of the cases. For example, no one cant just come and stab the opponent from the back and say they won the war in style. In this case, its not a war, it will be considered as a cowardly act. War should be won with tactics, strategies and abundant resources. Comparing love and war might not be possible in most of the cases because people believe that war itself is an unfair thing. Engaging in war is a self destructive act. So people might say that it really doesnt matter in which manner one gets engaged in war because the total act itself is unfair. Fair play is reasonable in those cases which you don't mean to win at any cost and the other guy doesn't mean

to kill you, but all that goes by the board in any genuine confrontation. Immature fighting for one thing is one thing; a real fight with a specific reason is definitely something else. A persons mind is a complex maze. It is really hard to understand when the feelings and emotions for one will grow or evaporates. The most interesting fact is that one person might fall in love numerous times in his/her life. But the question of ethics will arise if the person is already committed to one person and then falls in love with another person. They say everything is fair in love but the question is: Is it ethical at all? You are already engaged or committed to one person and again you are falling in love with another person. For example, in our society it is seen in many cases that married people are falling in love with another person and the persons involved in the relationship might just say that Everything is fair in love and war so what they are doing is not wrong. But is it actually fair to get involved in another relationship while he/she is already committed with another person. From my viewpoint, what I think is everything should not be fair in terms of love and war. Two things are completely different in nature so it should not be treated equally. In case of war, one might go for any unfair means since wars itself is destructive in nature. Engaging in war doesnt bring you peace and happiness whether it increases pain and sufferings. Love should not the regarded as a blind thing and people should act consciously and ethically while making their decisions about love. Love or relationship will never work out if there is no trust among both the parties and the main thing that helps to build trust is how ethical one person is. It is really tough to trust an unethical person since he/she can do anything for his/her own interest. Since the phrase Everything is fair in love and war basically backs up an inappropriate action or cheating so I think people should be more loyal and go by the ethics in order to act, think and take their decisions consciously rather than blindly.

REFERENCE
Titleman, G. Y. (2006). Random House Dictionary of Popular Proverbs and Saying. Retrieved January 25, 2011, from http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/8/messages/366.html