The Story of Frank B. Kermit

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The names, timeline and circumstances of alill of the people IIIinteracted with have been modified in order to protect f th ~ Invo I've'- . ("D" d .......ecem-er COlu;-~leb ,<··lprl·1 b Id A' , e ~-, flt th--: 'lidenlilles 0-- ,---:e pelop~e enid married could bel slnqle, and y'loung cou Id be spinster) ~ In ..·· Ic···"a:s··e,·'s:···· t-h.·.··.· s·····'a:[m········p'9···.·:e.··,r·:~,oi·:n···I _.' 'a······s··, · .'e · a. __ .." up·····:· in.. ito different so·:m·..e········· ...:. ..:...:. broken . ..' . ..~> (1'.-: ~'.: :.stories ,:, and one story could be an am alqamalion ot m any ., _< "', ~··i _ i, ":, 11' III ..•.. .. separate people and events- Ev'e'ry effort" has been:'1'1. made to minimize the specifics, and to limit the opportunity for people to
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Frank' lntroductlon lntroducfion: The ,Story of Frank B Kermit
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LStri~k.eOne: Nlight of the ,Se'nior Prom ,Stri~k.e Two: The one that glot ,away' Stri~ke Two: epilogue 2: Thle f'uti~ity of revenge Striilke Three: T'he Foreignl IGirl
28 3JL
35 36
eart 2 - Tlhe IClhange After the Pain:: The W'lork of Chan e January'1 AD to Ju~y 3 AIDI
,Fr,ank IB Kermit Phil1osolphy on, TESTS: Rellatilonlships, Men and W10lmen
The Persona Concept:: C,reating a seducer p1srS'Olna One Faithful Ni'ght One final break through ~ W':atc:hing the Ma.ury Show ..
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©I Frank, B,e1cau,se'-I-Have- To,-Be, Ke~rmit 2007 W WW'~fr,an,ktalI(s,~C,Oln

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~y fi rst lay: in :5 yea rs
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Why see it as manag1elment?
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'What dlo I want from her?
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REDEMPTION
DA'Y' 2 - Saturda.V
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Bittler Swe1et::: sain!," ood b e to m clhildren ~ IEINALCLOISURE: FINAL HEALING 131
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AFTER Math, the final lessens

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,G1e'Hing back the Dine that got awa'y!~!, The 10 rules of gettinl9 her back
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©I Frank, B,elcau.se'-I-Have- TOI-Be, Ke~rmit 2007 W WW'~fr,an,ktalI(s,~C·Oln

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The IBest was vet to come. ..
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The mOist ulnrealll and shlnin m-··o···lm····e· O.f" m···d evelo mt ..

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Part 6 - Epilogu,e: ThB~ Pain R8'V'isitB~dland the Clonc,lusiionl

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Of male frlendshlos
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t· [I[f you are rea d·Inl91 thlrs, yOlu erie ,a secd ucer-m-trammq. , . You are not a..,. loser," . , a'. wimp.'. ~'I '8 [P-~'lIS,;S,y~,""~ a shrnoe '8 viirg--i n (even iif' [ ...' ,.. ,.'.' .. .,.. ','' " in) '.:'_ ': .:' _' '_' __ .:.':'_::"_ _ '.: ".:'_ ':_' _ .:._' :._:..' '..:'_:.'':'__ .._._ "':'_ '..:._:.' _ _ _ _ .:__ ..:._'_' . ....." _ "':'_: ._. _ J. :._: ....:_ .:._' YOU,_._ 'are,'_ _,_ ':'_: a.~ v,i'rg···.··J_,,: " " .•' " y,'IOU[,_ is :'_:.' a ~ 'seducer-ln-traininq _.:._ Y'IOIU':_._ are_,_ '..:'_:.' not a ~ <.::-'" I, . . ."..,~ ....,. ,.:.:-:"'., '. ..'," . ",' '....,... '~, ' "...,.... __ hopeless case forever t·o· be 'destine~ alone' damaged g'lo'o"ds' dysfunctional, a dork, a nerd, a glelek" a socially inept fool .. ~ you h are a sle d ucer-m- t ralnllngl~,l M'I b 'your I·fe IS nlo t': wnere 'you wan t': ayoe ~I it to be. Maybe 'your lif'e with women is not where you want it to bile. Ms'yblle your rnarrlaqe is not where 'you want lilt to be, Nonetheless, 'you are s;t:UIIIhave thle capacity to be a full man. And as longl as you are willing to challenqe y'ourself, t'o learn, to c pluls .sh. a.····.·nd".·,t 0.. m"""" c·k·••e····.···.. d lffe•·.•.··-'n,c,·:e ln 'y',,·:·:'o·:.·.·.ur life- Y>····IQU,· a·re. .• .. .····• .· . ...r'e . ..• •.·.·..• o'w'n .··•. ..." d' s. . .. rt take .,OUIIII~'ell ' ..'. sec uce .... .... nllng. -H-. " ,'. -I'" m trai .'"".. trat ow ong d-"oes it t, .k ?I C-·· .' . ~d- -b'" 6:~' mom t'-h"s, '1118months, 3 years. 5 'yealrs,", .. 1don't know',",
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[lin this chapter 'you wjilll relaid m'y story; my story of pain, my challenqe, [my redemption and my ultimate freedom. YOUI 'wiiill also lea rn wh I·· . . 8?. . nd w~-~h:-:'I U-·ise '..". the.. term "sed U-· rcer-i nI,-tra I~ ninq" e.:-:,r-·:::e::-:' Y~····~ d . .. I, ." .''.' . '.''. .. andJ__ win .. read about:'_:."._: my'' ','.,: p recess of_ goinlg·.: from ':'_.__ _ averaq ::.:__/ g··.·IU'Y, .., .... :._:.,,_.". :'_:.'_"_/ '':_ •.--::'':_ ,::,.:: __.:,_:.. an _:_ ,_, '..:'_:.'_:,_",.. e '::'., ':_.'_,'.;' _:_ _.'_' _:__.-'._'::_ _:_.'_ :.__ I~'-'.:)·I. . a" i ps I• nto a" rn an" W" he'.n" lt C" o rn"e' s ,to' 10" V' "e' ·····nd rel a''tl'I"]' o n s h I '~.>:.
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.. .."~,~ H ; :.• -.. T -~- rrr ,- .r I~I I~I . I: I~.,'~ ,,'- I'-:'~,~_I_" .•~•."-: III used tIO" suffer from the b"e'lief'" fhat fhere w'a'rs only one 'WIOlm;8In IOlut ther,e fOlr mle .. ,~thlelone. Knlo,w'ing what ~ knloi'w' no'w, I ~F, . .' I "<_, .'. '. ......' ..,.' '8 ha"v'e" ~e'' 'rne'd 'tl~at the' ··r·e ·IS·no Uo·ln··e·111111 That as IO"ng' a'"s" I con't-Inue'" . ..• to'.....• Ide"v'elo' p as' 'am'" 'an II 1><:-' .••..•.. :>, .,•.. _ ·i. , .••..... J'.C' L'] a[n'd f·-urt· e' [t" [m''V· com' ··m·uln·lca·'t'·IO· n"s' sk';~11 I W'"I'1J hI 11 : _", :)II.' '11\ ', alw'a'y's' b' e' i;alb"Ie' to' at·tr'a· ·t a' n'urn'" be' r' o'f" 'worn'e' n ,. •..•.•...' I I w'·111 b'e' a' ble c a' nd ..,..............to clholosle the IOlne that trle;at's me t:lhe best.
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[K.lno'wiiiln~g what [II know now, I have learned fhat tlhe women that I was head-over-heals ln love 'wit hi ln the past were due in pert tiD my then lack of' choice'. Remove title lack of choice, then also is removed the neediness. Knowinq what I know now, how a woman treats me ls more important than how I r<~.·~~~__' J', I ~ ~~~> __ ~~'~ ...•• rried _...•~ • f~~~ ~ ::aboutI, her [Kino' 'W'I'I'I g' wha t~ ~/ know now the pain,~~ I had ca' ~__-'~ '89"1 .. ~.'..'••.•.~.., ~, ~,,~~.~, In with me for Y'EA,R,S is ~glone. That iiis change. That is power, That is p:art:lly something called closure. There is a light at tlhe enid of t:his tunnel, her,e is the lighlt of 'freedom from your own emotions.
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This is the journey' beqinninq of' 'YOUIrSi

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©) Frank.., Bocausc-l-Havc- To-Be , Kermit W WW'~fr,an,ktalI(sl~C,Oln

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2007
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Before ~I start: at the' beqinninq of my' story (my' pain) I · I~ d t Ik tb· wan t eo t taxe a coup III 0f paqesto nastca IIy summanze wnatt I e d iii to evoke [my lncredible change, I 'w'~11 dl reiterate thliiis aqain, at d f" thl b -k oecause [o,'-[OW' " fh "Ie impo rt t I f" 'ee I thi nextt tant '~'IS th enc or t ns book b · ... -,.-.. ~-'.. S w -.. . , .....- _.- to . .... '.. -. .' b .......' "I·'earning ..- ~IS~ '"•.'.~0.'. ~..- '~[h" enl -you- ge···'t·-..0 tht e enld 0. 'f- t.h·'~ISOO .k'., ylou WI11 find this introduction w'riitte'nl aqain. If' you want 1:0 know how I did wall ··tl I Idid ',I t'II' len rea d the . flex·rt "2·"'" pa,gesi' lt v ." .. .'" ,>-" 3···· '.' . '. ~ yOlu canl( d 0.. [II. . "h' I' lh" .es[a that, an[d follow what I said, you don't need to read the rest of thl b k Th t l h tt I h~ b c us c',o[o:.'a, IS "O'W utteny va Iua bl e '~t~ Th restt 0 f' II,-IIS:iO[O k [II': Is.'e ~ ml'y persona -I story [0-- wnere -I 'W'8S, wnatt -I BIC:c:[o[mp-I'[1[Se'd an d t fh -h "' h I~S, •...• •....•.' ' ..' ' [.' ,...... ....!;....:! .< . :. eta.ils of how , [IIdid it I rho' pe' y' "0' U 'W"'"'1111 be" ·1nsplre\> d b'y'"/ this the' d I.'..,-> Warning:: This book will be an emotional one, and yOlu will [be
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L '[,~,' '.1. Althouqh ..' so> m e of rn'y miethods have th rouQ,-h" 'f-h' e lest fe .. : year.s ". onle,, urn d,-I_::.,'-I·····:·~ G!"'-':":':Q-;A~ ,IL .'........ '.,,'. .,' er ylng 8.. ew ::'[._::. . , S,- : all the time: [Never aqaln experiencinq the pain from my' past when it comes, 110 women
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IIIam Igoing to 'write this from tlhe perspective of the guy' that has made siqnitlcartt chanqes ln hls life. Helre they are: I have found these techniques, when done, T'IQIG[ET'H[ER, all o'w' for the Iquickest and most permanent of chanqa internally. It does not mean 'youl won't have a. weak moment nlOIW and theln,,[ BUT t_Jhey.: w-'I"jlll_ ~".' fe ·'····::e·····. fa r bet wee n a s tirn re g: oes on aft te sr you g'; 0"':" Ir 8: nrd .. _ .. ~ _ _ be _ through the f;o~low'inlg sat u[P~
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ki t· er 1 bl .... , 11SI op 1DOling t·'.0 0, hit' peop e 0 SIDve your pron ems. Others [C:'8In only offer y~":"OIU perspectives Y'OUI have to do the 'work lnstead of waitinq for someone else to kick your ass into
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somethiiing, Y'Q[U KIC,K Y'[OUR OWIN AS,S", N,o per's!onl or informatiiilon ~soulrce 'will chanlge 'YiOU[1r' lif'e ;allone,", T'he"y c:;a[n o[nly' ~giiiv[e yo[u kn[ow'l[ed~gle a.nld perspecl:i've's,", They w'illl[ n[ol' do thl[e w'ork for y'OU'"1 Lo[ok,~!thi'[nk. 101' it ;BS ani le:x'e'rcise in be!ingl ;8 man. Y'OIU ,.':.,.,.'·.·t so[me, ling ? .,",.YOU R···IEA····· LL"Y"/. 'wa,n,D 'til . ······1···· '·········,th·· ··t .................• W,8[rI ~ , see : some···th·· "" . ling h:8[pp[enl? Then ta,k,e' ACT[IION. Tak,e the Leadl Orgl8,n'ize t[his YOIIUR;SELF~ DUldIBS~ w[llat makes y'ou think y'ou can [~ead a 'W'Olm;alfl if y'olu ic:an not [eve'n ta,ke Ic:ontrol olf' a,re;as off' 'your oiwn Illife
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©) Frank .., B,e[cau'se~-I-,Ha'v'eTo,-Be , Ke~rmit 2007 W WW'~frlan,ktalI(s,~C,Oln

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that y'IOIU claim to really want? What makes you think you even deserve tal get ;8 woman's IPUSSY if 'yOUI refuse to take responsibility for your lives and just act Illike a PUISSY? YIOIU want '·"""HA""'\, IN',', ,,',E t"-,:-, h'18,ppen~' D",O·""'." "'I y.""':-:' -, --,-:-:, elf ."1 M" 1.',::-b--::':-" Y:"':-::"IU- ~gJ,S"::-' J',,:5,. t dorOf] It" G.'" ,,::--:-,,-':,-,:--,,-,--:"?"".",' ",' ' " 11,~>lours,e ~', 'C <" ,', .... ',', ",,:--"0 ":" a,Yle,' ,,/0 .":-'--u'Y ""U-"-:' m, C- 0,:-:.·" e',:-' fr 0; , m eno u-g"'.- h-:' of a place of p-:-:!a- '; n t'"-o:-:' be rnotiva ted t"-o:-: w--:o:-: rk fo r yo'U Ir futu re s
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2~'YO'IU must make y'olulr love life a PIRIORI'TY_ Period. This is not sornethlnq YOUI do when work is over. This is not somethlnq you d 0 W hlen you h ave" th e fime. ThlIS - no t" sornetthlIng t f ocus IS 10 'I,-- ,,:-: t"-ke:~", weekend',." Thi S-, 1"5-:, a 'w~~:'a?'y'·of life Th I"~I'S- I~S- a c--:h-:: 8::--ng:-:'-Ie-:' 0',:-'f he':-:', wa y~: ~ ._ ~ I"_.. -_" '".",. . ",..... 0:_,_Il _~ •.'~ ':_~ of' your I·If'e' lilt" m US'II be''.• 8' priority For ex a'rn ple I put" parts 0' f 't'[he' i rest of my llfe on hold for 3,-,4months in order to learn some of thee b",·,III", t nad ".',", ove Ie II nost ImlPO caSllICS. 18"" darm :·.·IU.."··: ;a1mIn 1 ma: e my 1"""" life tlh'"e mos imoorts,-an,t, thi -Ing f or thra t" penced 0 f' lmy III-f" E ven -f' IonIy f' or a, tr rre. ~ nme I'~ liltec nnr d k ht 1kilt" · lt d arnoun t ("'5 weeks, wnatever ')" YOUImUISI make r- 18 pnonty 8In-: ••• ,~' MAKIE tlhe time, not walt for it. Nothing in y'lour life should [be more important primarily at the beqinninq staqes. :> For a limited time period (i.e. 3 months), let your only inputs be seducer-in· tlh · t ralnlillngi re 1 tl d '" atec rnpu t.s. I n otner wond s: no movies, Ino ~ :"IIOOI>~S, d-~ R -b newspapers or corruc -b k or reac Inlgs.e!a:~ d'l~ ng aooutt h..OiW I ' I:",: .'. '/, "'1, ',,< " en ek S-pide rm an":I-'--~:ildefeats fhe G"-"'re' G-"ol-b-lin this w'e' ....•,< ~IS Itime and money well wasted, that would NIOIT' get you laid, YOU] are a I •... . .. .' . '. man not a 110 'y:-ears old boy that does not vet know tlhe res of an 0; rg···· a srn IN·'·","o'rn..iusic C.····.·-D.····.·s·.··· 'w····' Ie•• ak-rn ta I e·"" rewith Pile." a········'s~·"u' enforcinq lyrics. You must focus on your learning 1'0 Ibe ;8 man, d ~ ~ teri t dt anid a seoucer .... I rarmnq .. Th ere IS rnatena you ca,n S"UIY-' th ;8, rn.... 'wiiilU teach 'you albout y'louirsellf~,,! about relaflonshlps, and peoplle that you can associate wrtr 'iL:--: a,- are very gOlol- with--.. --.. at lilt" lththat d wr women II-::a-That should b·····.···e' focus Th is W-_-':':1, · 1I11 be an iil'n'__J:.:cred ':'_ile shock to the y',',"O··.···.ulr' "' _ ':':'--,:__' :_",:,:", ,,~ __ ,'::",-' _-..... II '.' L chanqe ,., _ ::.-'-.1_ system _ and ·It w'·I~1 ..........:';~.. you, (·····W,""he"n··i:_: ~ did this_:~', ',I I lost some .,~ .~-' ' "'-"-. .....: .....··:c _< "I,'i ~.:>; .. '. f'r';e'n'd's'" a'nd e"ve'n' a'lm" o'st )::1_'d.l]lr'o'ppe'd out o"f:s'c'ho'ol •• ·It"w'a's' 'worth' .. ·It')'"
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3,-Le'larn ab'out' whlo you are~ Sp'enld time tlhinllkingl anld WRITING h '* '.' __1_ :""Q',""·"W",':N"'W""' :aIL,' you- dl"ol rea~~y w,an _:__"d w h y"-?"",, 0"':'·'-',' "~ ',- k- nolw-" .. ~ __ ,'.' ··~III.' -. . a,n __ ' __ ..,_nc:e'" you __ ',' IT D ~.' J_,~ 'who, 'you are (wlhat drive's you, wlhat are y'IOIU p;assionat,e a,bolut, m' to 'yo' Ul w'-ha'" ~_.~'I~-~_:_'""''" 'yo' U 0' uti 0' f:-- -bed- ~In tlh'e' '~,-~_ 'I"'~-~~,-~ -~":<>"' ......•....... It, gets -;~ -['"'--"~~.'I"-~" W-hat ~IS ~I portant ~, tiify 0': mOlrnllng ...,')" t-h -~Ien 'you ca,ln ~ e'n-~I--, your goa Is .. '"llnce 'yolu 'II"'d- en II ~fy' Id 1--' your goa~l:s~, focus Qln those, communication tOlols that will best: "::-' -,:~":-:" :-' ,'::-'",':-: h' ",,-:,~ ,-,,'-: ":-:",-a11-:','- ow,-, -, you -t"- 0, alG: IleVle -t"-h-""'lose " goa 1":--' . :-: :--" :-:' .:-:-,':- -: SII 111-,---,--',"':- -,- :-:'" elvery,--t"-h-""-"--" ':-:- e se'~ 'Y.'"·' ':' OIU gnOlre' ,:-",- ,-,:-:,-,-~, Inlg ,':-:,1 :--" :-'"
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©) Frank.., Ble,cau'se~-I-,Ha'v'e- To,-Be , Ke~rmit 2007 W WW'~frlan,ktalI(s,~C,Oln

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first have tal fiqure 'Olut who y"OIU are. andl 'what 'YOUI want, and continue to experiment UIN'T~ILy"OIU figure it out. Lucky for YOiU, I_-~,'-. - ..~-,.' ---L~-~ ALL of fhe writinq , expertise in this book ,.<-- and the other books I sell are designed tal dial IE,XA,'CTL'y' this. If you fill out ALL my lists like I instruct you to do, I guarantee that 'you wiUI do tW'IO thinqs: 3-,1~Y'OUIwill learn about 'you 3-,2.Y'ou wiU learn 'what you don't vet know about yourself and wh at y'lo U[ need to learn,
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Authors Note: You w'ill find those lists I mentioned above, in rny [book: I'm A Main" 'That's' My' Job
They 'S':-8:··Y·····: Knowled 'g;:: 'e:-" ·I'·S··· -8' f ·O··,··[I""[m···· f powe "r 0', If true, then irnaqine the power of Self-knowledqe.
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4~,Writeout your glol,al,s and follow throuqh on thlnqs that 'wi'lll lead you to them. Do not do ;anyt[hing fhat distracts YOUl from those go;als for 'your love life. Be' that narrow minded. S,olmle of 1-' ...• .•..' the things I did are' that ~ stopp 'e' d rea" d-~I[ng anyth'['I'[[fIl'g that'. would encourage me tOI be a loser n'at a' seducer-in-traininq For this reason I completely stopped watching television ShlOiWS like sltco mrS, he SI COl _..... I III" ed 't'h olse s hov ". ;anl 'wa,t Clle"d' tho lem w···· enevelr I ove, .... ow's tnd .. ' 'h' ... ~ could. , . BUT when ~[analyzed the ShIOWS, I re;a[U,z,ed that the [male . characters were exactly the type of guys that [II id [NOT want to d b,e. ,So I removed It from m'y radar. Get It?'
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5~,I'f lolu want somsthinq ln your life to chanqe, 'ylou must y change yOlu. hie] world wjUI not change for you. Women wi 1[1 ot n change for you. If' 'you want your life to change, you chanqe first, 'TI h 115~..:- 't~'[h""-.e.. ~.-..- ..,.:-: [II~tv ~ -:. IS, .- re,B Iylll . If' '_>01 U wanl t,-t he e Iawo tc c~ lange, y au - 'Ilrs,..t h·--:-.--..- .-.. :-' :-: .. ~ -::-:-'. '.:-'.-:~.--: _ ':-'1- f' ~-.-:-:·· a,ve [k .... : II y~'I-: :--..... .:....r .':---'.
to change yourself and flqht for that kind of chanqe, But natural laws (: ravity, 'what p•• le are attracted to. etc:..•)..• not chang, e .. g c ..eop.. ·•· -., - - - - . do n'D matter what 'YOUl try '"
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sat out t-=IO; ·d·!·D······ J""'I-U-'S,t-- fuckin g- d 10··I-""lt-= I f -Y'··"·QI-U- s..se.• o••ru~,t--' t .. to learn 1[10 better fuc:k,iiin~gtechniques, do not stop untU you learn all 1O~[Pick, one thinq, learn it, THIE,N move on to the next thinq, That is how I didl it. This is how yo III can do it:~ I focused at one thingl at a time. Once' I had gotten enouqh skill at one thiijn~g,. I
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7-,M10S IM1PORTANT, lLI,ST'E1N U!!!!!~ Whe~nl someone who i's, better than y'lolu are with women ls offerinq you advice, or answering yOlur question, SHIIU'T UP AIND - ,IISTEN TOI HIM for fUIICk"I,S sake '"' Whlen an accomplished seducer is t,eIUin~g 'you g---:-o:-:ll~n'-'lg---,_":_,, w·.··~··,-r-··-o:-:.n---:-:Ig·--::-: 1"''."- -, d---:IQ.:-:.._-~> h--::e' 5 •.·-il·n--::g·-- y~'···~O"-:-:·.U '."_. favor .. _.._. " h--::e:-:. is beinq " .'h----:e:-:,r-.-:e.._. .... y~'···~o':-:u·'-- are '/'... _'-_.' '_ .> ." , ..... .. a -. '-" your best friend. IHe is NIO'T THERIE TO A,RGUIE, SEIMANIT'IC,S WITH y'OU- Ag-·ain, SHU'l UP AND LISTEN- If 'you disaq ree fine, ... .. but at least you have learned a perspective different firom yours AND if the advice is 'w:ay off, maybe t:hat should siqnal to 'youl that YOIIUR, communication wasn't accurate enouqh. 'When I spoke to .... ..:8 . ..... ..... - .... 'f---: ~I,'..·1i"1~'- ,Ie'y -~,>lpe . . -. --' t ~ .-~I" .. me!n t-h' ·,t', were a,s, :s,ulc'lceSS--UIIW~ll,."h the ty., -" 10-f'-- women- . t-h' a,-~ ~ ;BfS,Q wanted tOI be with, the thin,g I didl was to just assume everythlnq you learn during that period is TR,U'TIH a,ndl everythinq aqainst t__ose t:.ea1c:_Hngls :are un- t:.rut:.h_ .You '_::a')9 th_lS, Iperspec']'ve f' th_ t h h· .' f _ s Y- t k :._ · _or :. :a'_: _ -I"Imlll,:,e' tl ilit d tune pie rio d ,",'ne' 0 f th e':II~gges', til " , 0" bi t nme wasters 0-f guys · t In th b ~ ~ f -~Ie;ev'e d -Iopmem t ~IS t h;8'": tney seex -k jo b ! ... t th t oe 'Ieeglnlnlngl 01'-' t -h
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lilt is one thinlg '10 's,elek: out an understanding ~ ~t is quite another tal expect someone tOI argue you untiiil they prove they are right. Instead of wastinq time looking for the "rlqht" w'ay tOI do ' w,sY:s, correct,t b t t:01assume ;18S':' thl Ingls lor f or n Ie th.eory tna t lIS a,III th .' th that whist you learn from the guys that are gett,ilng the result you , . '. '-. '.. ·'t- • d true, .-- -d '..... .'-' .... ~....' '.' -. '. . t ... d '-.'-.. I want IS aireauy '. tr -... ano aCI_accorc- Ing_y ~
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IIIwant tal insert an important caveat at this juncture. If you are the' type of person that likes to arpue about le've'ry new idea or iilt' you refuse to ;8cce plt concepts t:lhat 'you dlid no! know d 0-:-:' e-xisted th e---:"'-n-" -y~o---:-' u a nd I a favo 1'" p-: -u--t-- t h-"e';-: bo k d -w- --n-'- a nd co m e---:" back to it Illaterwhen 'YOUI get stood up aqain. 'Than maybe 'you I II, :" ~~" --' -••, II ,.-. will b'e" rs adv for lt • lt ·IS· no-•. 0' ne 's res po nsibilitv,.'-." to' :.,-_-" ue 'Y"Q'IU into arq ~~ su b rmssron.
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Understand that argui'lng ;8 person who is off'e,ring advice that you asked for is a symbol of weakness. Womlen interpret a -,.- ---:. rb -'. :-:- h·--:- -:-:, ;--' "-:-:"'-:--:-:', ;-:..-;--- :---:-,-.- ;--'."'-:'.k rna,e~ ,' .':-:'~ -----:.-" .------: ;--' vera -: III fl'11[I[g-t as tI,h e " equiva 1·":-:- -:t 0-f'- sex.. -;- fcor a welB< --------::-:'1·":-: T h--'ley-:- see;-:'" a.. " em .-:--: __'.'~, vee ak rn a'ile W···I nninq a'n :a__ _:__ __ through I~~/~e'-rpo w'e' r'["I'[ng- W' ith arqurne nil ov words as the "orqasrn" of the weak male. When y'olu are told] to ~I-' .••..•.. " "rc'I'I'I' r'e''ad' so irnethin g- g' e'··t therapy d o a'n e"x'-'e' S" e" d o n't a'-'rg- ue jus -II: d '0-" it t d ~ k· ~ rt.or S hIU[, up 18[n re f ram f rom B:s,Jng a,dvrce. '.'
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And now, let me share witlh y'IOUIII~ •• My pain. The pa.in at the, heart of the seducer-ln-tralnlnq known as Frank B,~Kermit

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This chapter will be foUowing a time' line more lor less. In order to further protect tlhe women 1 was with, III am not gloingl to mentio m the a"ctua"1 y'ea" trs a'.nd ln sorn e' c'a'"s'e'"s ,Ill, .... write t'lh"'e"" r when 1"11' I month of "F ebruary" II may actually mean ~'Septembler'~. Wh,en I >' 'I;,>I'~., ',' ... sav 'I'·C-~hris tim" as' n [~ m'8' y a'ctua'., ..•.-I-Iy m I:!e' a'n",' "~V", I ntines Day" '.'..'..r m's' ybe /ale .,~ II,> o ,. ;:: \ "Halloween". These details wiUI not be important tOI the story, ' . '. --, ."., are' '. ,-'<' 1111 They.••" ••..•" ,just t'o'help form ulate a proper fime pattern
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Wh;at 181m NOT ~g,oingto do is list tha y'sars, iiin terms of actual years (1995~'1 '2003, etc. ~ 111)~ III am goin~g tal pick that one niqht, thet one point in time, where I hadl had enough and made' the decision 't:IO chanqe, I call t:hat ml'y glrolunld,~zerlo, Imy point of no return, ml'y~.·.·~ 'ew y-~ears eve. n
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The oint of ~~O"I' (.········g.··. round zero) 'year is title ni'Q' I - that I .... hi: - decided that 1 must chanqe ml'y w'ay' of thiiinking when it carnie to women and my' love' life.
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The 'ye;ars starting from point ~~IO" (zero) 'w~'llllbe in incre',8sing olr'der and include the' acronym of' ,A.D. (After Death...... ··~ . O·I; th old, ... le,':-:, '~ After D .• D.······a·:-:y-- After Developrn e:-··n~'·""t' ...... .' .... ..,
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W WW'~fr,an,ktalI(s,~ C,Oln
26
I My Journal:
It was partly a Journal in fact
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' ' ',". ',,"1','.. .,.-., ' r xept '. sporac . ' ' "., ver ne,' " '.'. ,-., of '.. , 0······ ') 't'lh"" course 0 my . d eve opmeru' '1 III Ik"" ,,·t a.' .','.'. '.' .ad lie: "..... ,_ I.".: " '•••..... '.' ..' " ",""' ' social experiments journal I:,of m"Y lrrteractions:,-:' with.. ' ...•.' , .•.••',' .. ' , I, ' I ~ rn_Y' -> women -"- .'. '- .- .... 'I -.' . .' -' .... -- -., .,'-' .,'-'. '-". '-' '-'..' .. ," - "- --,. ..-. ..-. '-' ,' -".' '. -' .-. '-" ..... ' -'..' It tposmve ;and neqanve),,.'. anc- 10-f~ my ups'- . anc d owns-'. lti tlve) d '-' -,'.-.... d .,.-.' my resuns ( th roug -h .au t rnv journey. A--:' t some porntt my compuer COl m Pi-I ete -Iy t t 'I my i rv crashed, enid I lost many journal entries. Slo[me of this book was 'I ,., "[1 ,". "1 .. " "'.~ writ teo .,nI fro rn me mary'"', ;1:: d o t'lh'...e'.,r p a'rts 0" t-' it w'e' re pl uc ke d di reo . ct ,<Iy' a"n ... from what was retrievable from the ruminants of mfy incomplete journal. This explains areas where II wi 1III el shift~inlgtenses (past, b d ruture ). tl-h ; presen t 8nl~ f t ["'lro,ulg-h outt t-h noox-k Th names, tl'onne -I" 'I tne b u ne line anid ci crrcumstances or a II 0 f th peop Ie I· rnteracte d Wl .... h ave t f tne ~t t lth dlfl d rn d .' th I~ f th been mOL~ tee l ore er 'tOI protectt the ld entities 0(' the peop II ~I e lnvolved ln ma -n-'-Y c:- es a----:s.. m a -n-"'y~ deta ;'lllls~' a nd fa cts a re "...., ......·t·., -...sd ... t .' "..." '.. .. ',,'.·..· ror ~ e ... '..'. , , '. .... , ·· .. ,",..' unllm,BlnJOnS',_ OIU.. 10f'-' respec~,t fc ,- th"__ pe1op_eI' ,. .'...., ,',,',1','. , d S··.--.''..···, ..'. Ilnvo_vs',_" ~.'Iolme extrapolafion, distortlon. and caricatures have been added 'for the purposes of storytellinq and] education.
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Some of thle 'writin~g was set up for shock, value, in order 'o.· - - _. - 'orne ..·t' and no..'t' because the event happen ..ed in · r t,_,~,.~_d.. rive ~ h',_I~,. - __ .~ 'a':'P···O":I·ln .. ·······1·1·, ". stc ,., tho t navs exacny that wa,y~ I'n a f""ew cases,, these are, stones mat h" . mat .. ". nese happened to people I know', burt t:hey' did not happen to me directly, but t'o protect the people i nvolved. I have written it: as lflt d iii dl happen to [me directly, This includes stories that women - - - - -" _.-".-.- - m1ay ':ave!,ol'_ -- - - b .II Ie "Ings-~Iey (',marrle- d an,d :s,lng I Ie,,.):..- -. - - h - ,. - t - Id me B.QU,t 't'l~ - t,h" - -. - t 1l1,. .
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have don e W-I~'t--'Ih-' o··.~.···t--h-. er men ln tho " se cases I have used...., ose II .., .. I... ,..... . ..... th . .. .... .... .... .. stories; writinlgl them ~'In the first person, and then extrapolatinq ',~.,,_,'.~, ~ ",~ ,.,~. .... ., .~,'._._ ~,_. .-,~ ~_,I.~ ,,_.,."~'- ,_, .,,~. _: .~, how I believe I would,_ have thouq...ht and felt~ afterwards based on other experiences I rnav have had that 'we're similar ln nature, Notwithstanding t:he former statements, al! stories in this book are "rooted" in fruth. The elements lmportant tOI the story of my journal (including my own personal thouqhts and feelings) are unchanged Slolm······le 'xtra"poialiiion ~, distortion:'"~ 'a:n"d ca'"ri catlu res B _~_. ~~,~ ~'. _~,~~ .,-~~ ,_I~ - ~'_ ~ ,I:__:,.__:,~~" .',_'.~,"~ ~,~ ',,~,.,: ,~~~,~". ~ ~,'~ ~~'~ h;a'v8' been ;ad1ded flolr the plulrlPoses lof st:oryte,lllnng.
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©) Frank.., Bocausc-l-Havc- TOI-Be , Kermit W WW'~fr,an,ktalI(sl~C,Oln

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There's this g~'lrl She was ;a friend from outside my high .. r -', ,.- '-," - ,.-. , " r :-,'" t -,,-.. -", ",~' ."-', .'-' '-', ',-' d ..._. ;-'. :-;" ',-,'" ,:SC h00 IIII S.''h e agree- d I'-0 'gO-OI th e' se'lnlor 1- ;ance a,s, my- d a I'-e. ,. - -,.'.: .. rom my of ·~·-·--. s ',.'-".ef ..-- at .' - 'IOUSle. -', E'veryone-'. fro ''',', ~grloup 10 f·-'nenrds was rneennq . ··-t- my,' h .. - -. She enid [~ talked on the phone just hours before she 'W8,:S, set to arrive. M'y mother (in lher infinite female wisdom) had invited many members of my family, and extended family tlo witness tlhe send offll
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S[he did fhis A'GAI[NST MY' E,X,PR,[ES,S WIS,[HE,S not to draw more attention than W8,:S necessary. EverY'lone arrived (and I mean E,V RYONE)~ and we all waited for my date, and m'y date never showed up" (Today I an look back and realize I shoulld have giolne to pick her [UPI~ •• but I did not have the money to get a limo, I was not allowed tlo drive my' dad's car {hie 'was v'ery strict] and tOIOI proud to ask, a friend for a lift 10 pick her up. Yeah, I k:lnOW[11 Bullshit excuses of a, [I[ittle boy),
rioUI p' went without ~me and II[ stayed horne was not .. _~--_~._._,,~J-~:___ __ -, _l/~_~-",~,,_~~ _~,' .',' ..' --, "'- 11" . rt ,." Id' oot er . ·,t' ~,~evenruai even sura I' h a_!I wouio bi tho.. - glo'lng at a-'1 E' ..- ··t ., y, my b 't'[h ..nromer .•.•......< convinced me thet I should g'IO and he gav'e rn e- a' 1·I'ft'" The n··lght' W;8S a, bust, After a while, some friends and I ~gQt out of there, and the guy I was rid[[in,gwith glo,t lost d[lrlvinlg~ 'W'le were 'foillol'wilng n a- other ca r a nd tho se bozos decld ed to speed and m·--"--·y~······~ driver ~··_I.·~··- c .. and ~[ ould- .'_j :___~~,~, p, up not kee :~': .~..~_'"
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-~~~" rn ..···.i e' lead outside S--'-·o· e' how 'we II: nd edl up on 'tlh"e' brid ge th at1_,:_', the city and ended up IOI~st'fair hours, and finally 'w'e' had to back track when we ended up to have driven down ,8 road which
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ended riiight into the middle of B corn fleld III•• no joke, ISO there' ~ ,-.. -. ~:-: --:-. s'- ...~ ,:-:, ~ ---: ..:-.~--:.:-:..:-:.. nll,gh ., lin ~----:~"~ ,:-:~~.,.-:-: SUI., os ..:-: ~ --:~d .. . e- .:-:it -~ :-: WI8s.-"enllor!'" -: - ~,~ d ance ~.-:~..:-:,~~-·-t-- ~.------:, .-----: goo.d s ~..~-t-- 1,-:- :-:·--t-- ,aurt .5L, e -t--[h----:, CI·Y, my sto od up ~~l,L~ ~~~~ standinq there 10' st in the middle of__ a-,;~::)~-~ ~~~~_ I_,~~~,~-~ ~~;:__::___~~~_,~J~' _~~~~~:___~~~':__:Il corn- field ~ To•. this ~ ~~~~~~ ~ •.•~ :____~~:__: day, that irnaqe [in my mind ls clear ;as a bell.
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was h·-:·u m I~],a··.-·.· d..-:.·· [Ii fro -n-:t·- of m -y..... fa . m 1·ly··:: 'm'-'Y":: frl end [5:.. I;' -: > <. ~:'.,: .,~. ..... everythinq. Lafler to add even marie insult, I would find cut that some people never actually even believed I Iha.ld a date in the first place, ln fact, I learned that one' of m'Y teachers actually had a conversation IN CILAS,S, 'with a number of students about tlhe identity and Ilegitimalcy of "[my date", Was it such an lrnposslble idea that "Frank' could have a. date? I ~gues,:s, they' knew something I did not,
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. .. <.. Wh·e·n· ~ was ..; a kid I was only happy when I 'a's" performing on stage. I hated goinlg to class. ~lhad a learning disability, so in order for me '1:0 get averaqe, and sometimes abov e' averaqe gradle:s,[,I had '1:0 work harder than everybody elsie .. ,""J spent tOIO many hours studylnq, and [not encuqh time socializinq,
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So many girls toldl me that i'f' I just lost the 'wleight, I would bilea gre,at looklnq ~guyand I would totally get a girlf'riiielnid. Funny - --- I w h - - - m- - .-- - -'y 'U-t h IOW:BS - - t.ne same gu" buui u;·t-.hee _..-- Ih--t-" W' - - t· h e ISS -U'lei. I -- - - lilly weigr .\8S I,' reatr believed the' .girls are only interested on what is on this inside that counts ... maybe for adlult women tlhat realize their value is almost . .., t -h . . s b"~. .~..' .. ~.' c IOC.S . .,.' JIIIC:/[llln~g y. g,olne, ,or .[..err. moiomca -I·'.-I. ...k are t~'" k '" -I'. d- -I' IOIUI.' .
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©) Frank.., Bocausc-l-Havc- To-Be , Kermit W WW'~fr,an.ktalI(s,~C·Oln

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· ·d'"'t f h Id Ie 1m10Ins, lin ea,c h 0 f UIS 'we're cre'a t e d b I :Ie 5 t:UIPII Iry O_:I' kld S t·I_;a: t ..... .. ·.·.·y th know nothinq Kids glro'w' up but de'mons' JI' lust fester ln the subconscious not realizing th,e Iinear flow oftime.
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he .,o-'-n-e' t-'h- s·" t .'-t a"'w'-' ' " o a" 'I, _ . ' __ S-···t-'r·'[lIlk····e-·· Tw'o'" Y·ea.r "'a,blout 4, B.,C:."": Fe,bru8Irx.
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this ~girl. ,~ had starting seeinq each other in ~ W'18 Ma,y 7 B.C. and got serious right a·wa,y,.,We had a[n off' ;agaiiin, Din .. ..~. .. tic '.. .. . . . -. '. .- - -'- d ." . _. . agla.ln re"1anonsruphlc .. -w- ~ . - starre. - d 01f"-f'"11"--:- as- a COUPI. -I Ie anc -I was .' sure '. 10-- f;-' "','Ie . t .11' , myself as ;8 man when 'w'e, first [met. BIUT, lover time, I lost all bl ·.ver e -::-' ,,".. .-,--: e-·.r-\ b d b ~n PIIO-:-W"- a ncdl neca m---: :S---:-,U· IC':h ' --: p-.IU:S--:- ;8--:- a ro u n---: [11,. NJ0';:-:'-t-:-:·e-:-!I g'-- an e t 0:-:'. make SI'I·I'm·····[p: le decision~ (UW,:.,···..II I___ _ y·.·,·····ou ·W·-··_,'-·a,,---ln·---n;B, --I~a:tdo .__- . -·:_ .. d"-""O'?'~" W-·'-_-··-a's I m·-·-··-··y,_,·:.-, __ __ - __ '.'." __ constant motto because I did [not want to upset her), and AL,W'A',YS,walkinq Ion egg shells every time w'e interacted. It was hell, ~twas love, I learned that love must bile he'll.
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[Near the end of our relationship we! were try'iiinig the open relationship thinp. ~found out near the end that a. former friend of mine was secretly.. sendinq her love letters (She told me! about iit):· ···' Hie lived IOlLrt: of town but was rnakinq Ihis w'ay' back to lour eitv. By' that point, ~was such a PIUSSY, that I was incredibly cl~ingyand overly insecure about everythinq. I knew' that she was gloi[ng to see him when he got to town.
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IIItold her she could fuck him iiif she 'wanted to; I didn't carle. Even then I was open-minded about this stuff, Ibut there ;~ .'. just :--~ _ ---<'-<~HI~_ L~~,' - _--~was - ,--1- one -thinq [II'·- anted I dld not 'wa' t him 1'0~-,- sta<'Y' W" lth her W m _., .'- - . . . . -k' or -h . .t cG!, .t-'- .wee, .' ·~o e,'- Ilmi. ·~o Iller·~· t f- ,t,.,a,'~~~[I[rs - k as -h' Ie ha d - a,sie"'l'. d -h"ler t· - -I" t hl .- -I tc -Id- he . t ha~ <> she could see'-.him 1[~llf" she w-' ante-d' II but h-e'" couldn't stay w·lth her I~'1"It, '8
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her place. I let the choice be' hers. 8,he chose to tet him stay with hlelr 'for the week reqardless m'y protests, I broke up with her,
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chose the loser. THA,T frame is what really threw me for a loop. If' she was williin~g to choose, a loser over me, what thle' hell did that .··:u. ..'· . Say·'-,,·. a bo t m--··e.····<.?
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·k ,.,t to rona I wea k at-:. rs pomt, I n .•...• th'·' ILnee I salid IIIwas t t a,IIy erno t· retrospect, IIIcan not blame her. 'Whe,n he came tOI town, I should
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beaten the snot out of him for betrayinq my 'friendship like that with ;selcret love, lett:ers behind my_:. back, and all ~ did was :::. .: 'W' 'a [Ilk a-'w"'a-'Y .
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Author's note: Thinkilng about my former friend as a loser W8,S, Illike a trap I fell into. It got me cornparinq myself to him, which can only brinq up ...,S?: " P--'I a,~ I'" n A····.·· S-IO··.~. m-:-:··-:Ie,-:"IO:·~·: ne r-:-e:" c'-:<e"'~' ntly P--:IO-: I'" nte d o urt t 0. me t hat t"-O~I C·:-:'~O:·-:·:' rn pa r-'-:e·-:'·, myself tal others (in any polyarnorous type 'of setting) is stupid, .•~,·. 1\" 'le"': ca III e":' · P-",.111,.0'" p··~e':· In ca re'-'" ab out m..tore -I-h'I an". on ',1 p""e-rs "'0" n a"-t a tlrn 'e": -W~"'h'en' 'W'OIlII,d learn ebout rnakinq polyamory work, I would understand this, Bind practice it. But that would bel about 1 01 years from now, as 'yo u 'wi U reed,
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We finaUy split in February of ,4 IS.le. and he stayed witlh hie that first week upon his arrival,
That February 'of' 14 BIIIIC~" my' entire life shattered. I had ~_j' always believed that if Y'O'U love hard enouq h tolerate enouqh , thingls wlll work out, A happy ending would bel gua.rant',eed. lt 'W;8S not, Almost everythlnq I have elver believed about love was ~ t d rt'l d .-: III ht ~ compietetid y-! estroyec II. I s t- artec havi aVlng n[lg·-:.maries, vlery senous and violent niqhtmares.
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.. ... c y, .. nd .. ,·t .. b mares started z Th" 8 nlg htrna ,... sta "_8_ wee k'I" anc ,went Din f"or aoout t 2········· [Ill · b ') 1/2" years In au. E nt eire,d ;a d epression, Iacxk 01"f' s Ileelp,elcame .• a 1 ". workaholic tOI bury ml'y feelinqs, and startedl overeatlnq. Wallke!d around with holes in boots a.ndl caught bronchitis (my lunqs have "' .). never been th 5":"'8': me aqam) I was a ~I· · > zornrne..I.:._·,,, - ····19·.·.· IV····,:ln:g···.···· _.:,_: bi ... ,__.
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Our relationship was a whirlwind of hiqh andl [II , full of ow's drama and confrontatlon and passion. [~t'was three years on and off. I loved her, I R,E,AILL,Y loved her, So much that it hurt. I't hurt tiD be awa,y from her, enid i'l, hurt tiD bile with her. Shle was not my first ~giirl'frienld, nor 'was she my first lover. I had been sexual active y'lea.rs, before this and had experienced ~ots of different thinqs with different women ~ (I like variety) ~
However, this one was different. This one had me b,y the balls. I remember that I started out really stronq in the relationship, Ibut feel so head over heels lover thiiis chick that slowly, over time, I had totally 10';5t myself. When things! flnally ended, I was ;8 shell: Emlpty' and depleted, I rea[11111'y saw' the' faces -.I of m"'y children W" h en I 10' oked in he"r eyes .<.~, [IIwa"S' ~.' o 0"0" o o"0" sure s that she 'was the one for mle. A lot of what I know now about
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how to conduct myself in a relationship, M ISTAKES ~ made in this relationshlp.
I learned from all the
Wh,at W:8S most devastatinq ls thai after the break would spend the next 7 years (SE'V'EN y'EAR,S) between 4, to 4 A-D,~,fels Iing·.·.·for her, beinq ang·.······lry·.·.·····'·- .... r'8'veng ....e and wantinq ·.· ·.· wantinq tal glet: her back. ln tlhe story of redern pti Olin which ',I
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up, I [B~'C. also you ,•..•• reo '_'~ __ g e. and are...._..~ "IO' ·lng·1 to'.....~.'. ad h'I~.lr'elll n I do II ~In' ••a'I[II'y ge''~t' h'e' r-Ii.: back11\.. , •.•• "1. I learn ····rtrt n 'w t · 7."":' ,_""_' .·.:··e····· r ~.. ,,: I·~... " 1',:',' ".' r ,_.:,:._1, h ". :'. e 'Il" S··ro m:'e:...I m P:'o':: ':a'~ In: les "S·· - '0'" s .::. IH- ·0····:, ···..·'··ec:_··'v·.'··e···: s..··e~·· 'y a rs w··:·.'····'e·-H-'- -L-L (a ,;I., least ml'y demons were happy),
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a bou rt this b.·--:··r-:ce·:-:··.a··~ k/ '-P-:-:I was not th e specific mistakes I made (in all honesty ..··· [IIam very" ashamed of · some of them, and wlll not write about them all) but that I so BL,AMED mly.se[lf 'lor the breakun. It would take 10 years from th e yelar -. I fi,·J· I~ me,t h.er (.":7' [B' 1.0 t .-. 4' A:'···· ,).:. an d a ,t,·-· t - II y. -- _.- .•...... C",. ' D'" . - . _.[II.. ·.··11'.' -. _. - ,oa m -eta rph 0·.--:.··5-['I'['S·---.·· o·:-:In-··-·· m-":-:'-::Y": p~'--:'a--- ri' - to realize th 8:---1- tth:-:le.:-:·, 57'0.:--:' n sh . .. and ~ rea I did _ t end up to g'....~.. ·IS'.._ sorn etirn,_"~'y·o· U can_,._........~ . _" no' ., . _ l __',.. .... _ __. t'h'8't .... ,, .._ e's ether _ __: _,_., _ _ ....._ _ love a'_ love . ._, .. md ,_ ,._ _J~ ~:~',~~':__ll~,~~~', __:__ and love but even all that__:~~,~~ __ not enough love ·IS . _:__:._~ _ J::__:I __ ._. The
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A relationship takes more than just love '(:10 work, AU those years thinkinq, if I had just done tlhis air iiif I had just done that, I would be married tOI her right now. .•what B crock of shit. However, I could only know this clearly by seetnq it for mlyse[lf', and gett:iiin~g her back, only to let her go one aqaln.
At fhat point, I had only made love (with a,1I mi'y heart and .... ~[,).. one woman, -H~' Arter t -h'.8.t sex '....... [painf;-'IUI~~, -N'ow, t,10 .... '.' . .. ... er. A::-" ... t . ft·:--· ..... was .... s . ~ I~... .'. ~SOUII.I d d. ~ d a.It'h ou,g h1 [II un,. ers t anl<. th B,t se,x ca,n b e p,aln f u I , I 8, Iso I e,arne,, .• t h· o .-g,-.- h·-::· th I"':S··~·, p---:.le:-: rien ce th at- lt ca n also be a h-:: ea III'"n g-!- rnech nisrn r ex
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This is 'w'hy women 'will have sex 'witlh another glLry after the break. up of the best relatlonshlp fhevve had and w'hy glUyS, who can't fathom screwing another 'WOlman, commit suicide. (It is my understanding that, a, number of men after a divorce 'will blow their brains out as divorce iiis one of 't,he leadlnq causes of - - _",.-ides '5" '"--- d U-11--_.- a' 1'- -.,.): - I m" - es .. S·· U~Ir-'[I[" e·', m B"
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,W10IU nave th" nllg"h"IItrnares. '. a,b" t once'.. a. rnontn or so, b I' th" .' Id h: . . .. '/IOU, ' rth .. .' .. out me c ns [d',a····lm···:···"·a:··g···, ·8':"1' 5':lllln···· k/ In···· ·e··· h d ..· ..... .. l :
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Strike' Two: Epiloq ue' 1: Siummeir Year: "3 Bi.C .": Singling in the
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I was . plalilO id 't,· sling ... t..Ih''e ." . .. .· -... In .. '-, .· ••. .. ·,111 •..• . _"; -. ",-_~ pe -' -'. _ --.'._• d •- _~: ,orus b••.• a'nd e' o ch' r••...:,-:---_ of': a.•, th eatrs _.:1' rtII :0' rm....,a'n c:1. lilt lh'a•..'-•.•... be' e'n 1_':.V' er '-,_':a y' e'a'r since, I last S;8W' or tallked tOI her, On tlhe niiight of the gralnd performance, slhe happened to be, in the audience. Whlen our eyes -_ made contact my·······, insides sank and only m'y····-······ rag··· kept me' '. .- ,.... ..' I· '_.' .- _. _. ..._. .- .-_.- . -, .. e · functioninq. It was liiike I could see right into her, and I knew slhe A'fill ii, re h trie was a Iso OIU 0 I it f seemq m19. ,'liar Ilh s h e« ~S,18 II d t 0 lor t
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approach me and tallk. I was polite when we were in front of bt b t-I o t-h ers. nut -I en d- e d our t lk very aru pr y. -I fIn,8-1-1 wen,t b acxstaqe '.: tauc y ..... -k <'t-'. . .-', , into tlhe auditorium,
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She followed me, She toldl me' I 'W':8S a, jerk for the way I was actinq (among other thinqs). I told her that I was not even II •. 1'., . .....•... ~-. ~-: '1 lnterested '1"II'n talkinq ':_. to her l lied ~ I ',-_ '" .........•.•.••... sow' anted to ··11- 'w'itlh' her but b"e" ~ I .' 1 .' 11'W;8S in 100 much pain, II'was stlll mad and all I wanted to was to hurt hiler, I just walked a'way from Iher agaiiin. I 'was proud of myself for not gliving into ml'y desires BUI'T rnlsslnq her and wantinq her all the more, Man, was I ever fucked IUp~
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The universe hadl gliven mle the chance to bile healed from my pain maybe even to get back with her, and to find closure, I did not follow up. ~l wasn't ready but I couldn't yet e '~S,.8, .....•.................. understand why
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©) Frank .., Bocausc-l-Havc- TOl-Be , Kermit W WW'~fr,an,ktalI(sl~C,Oln

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[E'xac't:ly three years from the date of' our break UI[P,~ I ~gota I.. ' II '1_'< ~,~\J II ~ ph'one' m'8' S· s ;~'I e' from >1 m"y ex -IIfian ce lt was tlh'e' first tim e' IIIhad a'g' heard from her. S,he W'8S gioin~g into tlhe hospital "or surgery ~ Sihe called me, out ofthe blue tOI let me know, She had a bad aversion to hospitals. ~IW';8S still in so much plain, and :5,0 full of self hate. I
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morbidly obese and felt uglly~ Althouqh [IIW;8S readlnq a lot, and was challenqinq myself (read t:lhe next author's note) ',I I was not ready for this.
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c-y ears befon wher we , .. were tooether had prormse .... netore W' en toget er, nat ,', ornlsed her that I would be there for [her no matter what happened bet. ,ween uS,c:-: ~'I IIlf she...' ever la nde. '. lnI. the ' hospital'.' • 11'1 took th ree .sd '. '.' ' .. .. ... . .' ." , r .. . ':_. ' - <_., but .__ Years _.:_ .:_. _ the:_ universe tauqht me a lesson: Beware the promises m'"ake nted · :_. _ :_ _. yo._··.·····.u - ~ [II5:0"': . _. :a·········ln·..ited _'. t· 0"':' 5·':'··8· ·,9· ····· he r " and I 6·":,0.· w::·····:a····· .. tOI be there _ _.-~ .. - -i .._ .. - . - ._1._ .' ._ _:_ . . ng nost blUll, ~ COiU not "_" t· h om th···· I ea Ol81rh"'" :5e181 rna art my mas t" II . ". Id .. ·,t' I;a, '.' Ie lid .'. . 'f' ~grolesque, and IIIwas still so fililled with anqer about the break up. By this time I 'W'i8S obese. I wanted to see her, but fell like a, chump for even wantilng tlO see her. II HATEIDI myself.
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My raqe was battlinq my sense of duty'. Abandon her or k:eep my' 'war d?.. II' Itt k · ~on "~ ~If w'en' ..01 se'e her.Lri rls< reJe1ct~ ;aga,lln an d rtc/ k '.' ·····Ier, rlS' runninq into her new boyfriend 'if any, and risk gle,ttiilng hurt all over agaiiiln (those niqhtrnares agai'nl~~~~~) I will se1e myself as a but [II rI r 0 no t go, sure I couic ne f ~I Id b PIUISSY an d Iose my se If'respect.t rd my measure of revenqe, g,el her back for the pain [IIW8,:S, in, BUT could [IIlive with myself and I lose my<' self-respect anvways?
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Illnthe end I decided fhat instead of goingl tiD se!e her, ~ d dl b d sen I h rer a gelt w'e II~ caro, ancd an a,U-110'OIOJ k on h I~ Sin' II nea Ing health managemenl related to [her particular situation. I sent it to h,elr place by courier, and[ I never talked tOI her directly' on 'tlhe ~ l:_ .._ ~.:_ 1,_ I:_ ~', ~ phone ~ Her_ _next._:_ p".~.:_., _:_ rnessaq Ie was .... one of absolute Qi ratitude ~ hone __ .:_.... :_, ..:_ ':_._,:_' ..:_. ._.. _.. _.:_ :_.. __ ,:_...:_.' ,:_,__ :_"':_'.,:_ __ ~ :_.:_ .-:-•., _._ :__:_ :_'_.:_~:_.' th····18 gllesl:ure t· t t t· Y' ca II· Ing rea IIY' rea III rea, III sweet, arx d ':IOI:aIIII 'y 'y .. uni·expected
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©) Frank.., Bocausc-l-Havc- To-Be , Kermit W WW'~fr,an.ktalI(sl~C,Oln

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2007
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[IIwas sflll so angry that when havinq to make a choice, bet ween m e:- a nd a to rm le:-' fr-'-:-I~e nd h'-" t II[t h·,0:-:· ,-g.':-'- h····t·-was a- lose r a nd r'-' a.. _ n~, ··' she chose the losert , TuA·.. TI frame '['II[S what re'al~y threw' , m e' for a loop, Illf she 'was w'ililling tiD IC:hIOiOSle a loser over me" what tlhe hell Idiii that sa,y about me? dl
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Author's Note: GI'ive~nshe d[ild choose' him over me, the reality is, how much of' a ' aybe II was to,':' 10':":' m uc:h' of a lo,·:·,··:~,e········r· she told me .. II hat C 10iser 'I'll'S'::· h··18.<?' M:·······: anythinq she thought I needed to hear. If' a man cannot ShOiW that Ihe IC';8In handle honesty', then a woman 'will lie to protect
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liltwas too muclh for me, 'The nightmare'.s had s'ia,rt,sd to cOlma back. l was free of them for 16 months bly' this point, I' 1:;'11..:-' >.. .'. .. .. rck and no'w' they were corn ·I·n·g· b'a' .>-.> I W" 'a's'so' 0'" bes e' that .. I could n't -b' . '. th'" "d'-"e'a 10'- -h" seemq me, or ,."or h. .. ·~'··· tc meet her bf (-:'' f-:.f:- le'r .'. ". ..... ... . ". . . f-:" iear tne 1navtnq to .. "...,', er nr ur ' ' .... th '. II '.' Ith ...., th' ere . 'W,8S one), I' was '. ba [II. '.".''. sc h 00,I my 'f'"a. er sSill'"' h eann, my . '. . .... .......)., '. .'.. a 8,nc,lllng . .. k t ow[n, h_e,a rt1 b _,:...:re,a~ ....~.. s······ d__thl t ge_ reve[nge .. _10 I US9:...: ,_ JUS, 1_0 _
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After' her last messaqe I blocked her number. W'hle'n slhe called Ime' from the hospital, I blocked that number tOIO. Wh,eln she got [her dad tOI call Ime after the, operation t:o let me know slhe 'W;8S fine, I had his number blocked too. FiinaU[y after recovery slhe mailed me a. lettler, and I didn't open it, marked ii't return to .... se ..··,n'de···r·
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IFinally after that, she calilledl from a pavphons (heard traffic in the street). She W'8S pissed and sounded hurt and was
mad that I obviously dld not want to be friends. AHA.!!!I thouqht, Revenqell I know that lt hurt her. Re,vengle was finally mine, lt '· __ . ······ ~or d ,..' ..d i ··· __o f_e It- glolO:...: ....,~..f .. a,:...::~ay or - tw ...
me. '"~.and I felt lik:e shit for it. I wou Id not know peace "or another four years, until 4 A@D when I would meet her in [person face to face.
Then I felt liiik:eshit realizing 'what a, piece 0 '1' shit I was. I regret very few' lhinqs in Imy' life, but this is one thling from ml'Y past that I reqret SID much. I finalUy' got what I thouqht I wanted: Revenqe, II[ hurt her. [II abandoned her when she needed
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©) Frank.., Bocausc-l-Havc- To-Be , Kermit W WW'~fr,an,ktalI(sl~C·Oln

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2007
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Againl, the universe had ~giiven me an opportunity to make amends. It had brought her back. to me. I squandered the opportunity. I was sick. ~neededl tOI heal, What a wimp I was", I
should have been there, and taken m'y lumps, b,ut I was not stronq enouqh.
111'1 had glonle', 'w'e probably would have glott:eln back I together. IBUT knowinq what I know now, it still would not have worked out iiin the end. But it should not have been about that, I
should just have been there. Why? Because when someone you IknlOIW gloes into the hospital, it is just the right thinq to do. What a simple concept, But ~Iwas not man enough to glet 'iit then.
That is when I learned tlhat gettingl revenue is about tlhe -" .-.n -. W"-.f '.-. - n -. -. b n' e m- pt~1 It' 'f' ee~' n g-I 'I~ ' fh el!o r-Id- T h'.-Ir'.-. ·1- a,: d ·1t· "lier' ecel'eee! - tw.,.-.-... es, -- ~ ~I "Ie eS'1,
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standing up for yourself (not toleratinq someone treaflnq 'you _< ___ badly) andl revenq Ie With revenqe there is no lonq -term _ satisfaction There is only hate and once 'you g let' rev'eng, e the .. hate leaves, and 'you fee,1 empty. If' you harbor that nepative f'eeliin~g to 0 lonq, you can get used to it', and only more hatred for can make you fee'l f'UIIi aglain.
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It does not matter thouqh, *~I* know wlhat I fee I',I andl I "11 <,., "·1' •• kn O'W be'tte r 'tlh'a' n' to' exhlblt t' hat kind' ..••. o t·" b aha' v'·....•.•. ~ I kn o W' thoat II s Ih'e I o'r '-I~,·s·s ,-'. ~- _ --~,-' d d"I n'o·t' s"e"'e it a'·.--r-'- 0" rnethinq tlo be fo rgi've' n or' if she did II d' 0'" believe she Ihas fOlrgiv'en mel for it. To this d a'y ", this is the one event between us, which I am unable to forqlve myself for.
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had ....d ecided that ~ .In... ··e·· ·e·· t .... flnJ m····:·y··s .... I . ··e ... .. :···dll · _I .... ........ · 0·..'.' d · ·:··lf·-andII be .....'a'"n" ·a···· ..:-·c·.·e... ··s· O..:··f ·g·· · pr·-o·· . ·s· ..· :-:,I'I~", :-:,I.~ _." ·:·e ~ th ~ m'y\e ~ f'S an d e I· · t· lei Imlna.lng a II t. h elou~gl':5 hi d lecolns t ruclngl a I~ 0fbi t· lilt d til d th t mac e me a h dl na "ypOCfIIIO:le. I focusec d on my ec ucanon Bin' . career. Ailithough my love ~ife was fa,irl'y non-existent, the occasional dates dld happened but not even a pleasant eveninq no' W' and the n c'0" uldl warm a' [ad e'd heart
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strinq of married women do not bode well to ter In,o enlcoluragle me t 0 enl"ler i t any-: d ecen t- Ire ~ ti a.lIOln~s[ -h~' ··llip. -W-' enl- II d" d. 'h '. date, I dld so with fhe hope that maybe I would find "the one' that f' t tb -t [lid wouic make m1e ,-olrglel, my' past. .ou t- I JlIS[--oouic never connect t Id k with women, and m'y pain just deepened. This W,8S tlhe beoinni Id I did __aglnnlng 0_f a fi"[ _!I[ve ve,ar ,s[exua __ ry s[ps ~ f' or me~ I h,a:._: earne:._:_ __ III ...........•h aoou women · genlera I over th ~ t coupie 0f years, muc rn tns rast 50···_···.-·b t_:_ but I was not worldly enouqh to put [it into a cohesive context (like -. - - - -- - t - -- d ~ t.h·- Ib - - Ik")'- ,0 t h e Iearnrnqs -f esteren, I-Ik- many 0 f" my der - - -.IS ,OlD r: ce -- - -,. - -.- c emons, sleepinq in obscurity, until thle final strike to send me on tlhe last ..· · p rt 0······f m"'y··'···' J10····· urney
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..... '2···· 'C' .•. ..........•.........I;: I -':11' gott'e'n Illn ,< B'~II_, l had finally'_ •.•~•. - .. :-! a' lob of- m -y chosen ind us't'_ ry' of career, and althouqh iiit was not a dream job, it was in fact an "in", It was almost 8 months of the purest hellIl and abuse that I would ever experience. I left tlhat job, glolinlg back to something more menial at another company, burt: when I cauqht myself drinklnq more than I ever did, andl flndinq myself ey'ein~g a collection of huntinq rifles in the g:a[rage, wonderinq what iii: would bile like, W'HOA, SI'TOP!!! No job is worth what little mental health I
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--'" nl., . -n -.-,:-;"st of :--. ,--: a,I :-; C' re[ad b ':-;"-': III s pe:-; t th . eire's.. 0" .2.-8 'C-: :a-nld .':--:I 10, -f'- 1-"B: ~::' '--:' -;-:.':-;.--. In 9>010<:5-ks and _n:stening··.··. tOI tapes:_:- , o[n p___:_hilosophv ._.' " law., neqotiatlons.:'_:: ~ tlhe:._: .... _ _ _ :___:-':_:--':'_:' :'_:.'_ _ ._ --'_ J:._:_ _ :_:_ :___: , _"':'_:' '_' :___:-- __ --' :'_:.' _ ..:___:, _ _ :___:-___ . _,:___: ,':'_: _ ".:'_: _,':'_:, _:__ ':'_: __ :._:, _ Ill '.J~ 'I, II .. ::-.......' ......•... ' ~ •.•.•. _:_ d .-~;, te ] '-' e- ~ es 'S'W' ] ;: -', e n 11,"'7 rt;I' a"[["I'n rn .e' n-t ;n d u·stry Ibus~'I~:':·1._,'n:[ es s a n'- [II 9 a I ·1S S U I~"., '~,[ [["I'ng'. e' Irs PliO lyarnory, rnaqick, religion, flnanclal success, and a variety of self help sources including but not lilimlited to Zigl Ziqlar, Anthony Robbins, Victor Frankel, A,yd Rand, and my ultimate favorite Robert Ringer. I didl [8 lot of soulll searchlnq ln that time. I found m ich Q:-·f··C myself 11,-.[I[ ....~ ~ [II 1
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The KE[Y of this part of my development w';as that I W;8lnted tOI cOlmpllelte,ly' elimlinla.te' any hypolcrisy iiln myself~[ I wrote Idlown alill [my' beliie,fs, and a,ny' beilliefs t:hat seemed] to Icolntra,dict a-' s- o'-'Ive'-- tlh- ·15-' It~ -w- a-' s-' a-- s-' e-'a- -r-'c-"h f·cQ.-. r> r-c,'_ e·-· c-"Ih-0'-' t'-h' e-"[r' I f'co<.'-' .", e-.d- -m-'--Y-s-' e-If" t--o-[-r'-'e-' absollute 't:rurthl; [my' truthl~ III didl mOire re'adlingl a,nd ta,lki[ng with
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different peoplle durinp this period of mi'Y life than any [poinit: previously. It i'51 scary tiD do this.
[IIlike olnle memory in particular of this time. I was iiin the _·~·.~6, _ ~ __ I :__:.' :_- __ -.)~, countryside and hatd boo uqht baqs ._'.~.f _ bird se'ed fillinq up the _'large number of bird feeders I had plut up tlhat year. I remember f'eeliiin~gquite happy, watchinq the' different colored birds flock, to - - -. - - .'-,'. - -. - . - .,-. - . - -d .- -. ••. ~Id[ b· 'd t.h e' f ee dl ers. W··h enl I was- youn~g I us,e-ot -. bIul-ir-ra,p's t -- - - au.t 0f'-, ·..::::1'> '.." ,....• tch .>' ., O-ldJIc a-g-:'-e-"s:-'..... • lt.' was [us t som e:-:···t- hln g:-"- to d 0':-: w··· "h-I,·e:-:"-n-'- I d ld c-"'a:- 1,,/ a bird•...~ I till · Id k 'W',OtLI__ceep [II fror a t··, rew hours, anodl t h __ tnen I t it ,gOI,!, ~ was sansit·,Yllng ret I· I· t for a' time bull unlike ,~,_:__:I~,dlo'g' o r-_~L'a' c at- I co.. uld.. n I~I:__ "hold ,1, a' b··1 r'd- ,:_'~and a :~I ~Jl :__ :__~I .•• " ".~' ~. .•.• ~ ~ . o-t ___: _~___ ;~ _-:~_ thus quickly Illostinterest, and waited to trap the! next one. A,s an adu ~thavinq found parts of myself', I realized that ;as a kid, I fell: tra pped
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[IIW,8S [not allowed to do much, not allowed to sav much, and [not in control of' what happened to me. So I got some temporary pleasures rnakinq some simple creatures 'feel as an d t nn :-: t rappecd as I 'was f ee Inlg. N'ow' a,~SI a:~U It f diling a sense 10' f'" freedom, I enjoyed watchinq birds [be 'free and flockinq to feeders. I no lonqer wanted tOI trap them. [IIwas free of parts of my··.··~:s·.--::.,e-·.lf··· a nd I wa nted th le:-::· rdS,\ free t-'IO:-:O:-:I b---:··I~
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[IIfaced and conquered many of m'y demons (not all), I .-; ~II:" •..•.•.... I_\~'-;-, . )1.::1:__ __ ;\:-1 .._/ " was-"L g'oinq~-_: tlo' cha n'g"e" I 'wa-s_.. tired of bad things h'iappe nl·n·g·1 to m'-e (love Iiii work etc. ~ II) SOl I was goiiin~g1:0 change, from the inside fie, ~ ourt:first, [I even only worked part time wherever possible, SOl that I would be able to spend more flme readlnq and learnlnq, It W'8S , ~ h as Ione [IIy as tII r ave ever b neen b t a sacnIllfi"tee I W:8S wu11[1-Ing t nut '~o make. I 'fi~gure'dthat [~was go'in,g 1'0 be unhappy a [n'yways, '5,0 I may as well be productive and functional. There was 'D'NE shininq light Id urinq this time'. III. a giilr~ from a foreiq n country, Although there was no sex, she, did give Ime the shred of hope that ~[ eeded to move onl. Enter: Strike 'Three. n
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...>, .[ ...••.. .•.. .•. ··r-·~· .. , ..···r- ...· : 1 ha 've-' us-'e-' th e'-' .'-W"' -0-' -r-'d IIIn.-.-: rd e·:-.· to .•. rote c--::II, h e··- ld-.•..e. "foreiqn" t:o replace her actual nationality and country of oriqin ~
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~: II.:.' ••.. a's ;:a' 'wo"rn I,a'n f'II ro rn'. a' "'0' re 9 n country, who Ihad come to Montreal to study, We melt in school .. ue I". '.. lOllinga -M'' -'asters dec ,..... [~-h' . . d II.. k' . . a -I~' ".. t'~o h'··er. .' t .".... •..• -k'" W·h~ -I was doir egree. ~ '8: Hallen 11'lllln~g . " and pursued her, but she made iiit 'very clear that ;8 relationshlp with her 'was simply out of the question. lf she did date, slhe could and would on[I['Y date a man from thle same country a.:s [her ....-.: r ,-' T h e· 'e' s ,I t·I h ,,': -I s ...••........ .'_ g'I-1 rl ~. ~ ,S····ch', e'
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At first ~ was disappointed, but partly relieved. After strtkes one and tWOI~ and Ihlen the married women, 1 found [her attachment to her culture and respect for tradifion velry' REFI[RESHINIG~ I felt like, eve,nl i'f [I could nol date her, at least
I could be iin 'the, presence of a 'woman that is honest and direct with heir standinq, It gav'e'me HOpIEI. IHope that all my soul searchinq would lead me to a better woman, If I coulld trust her, then iit means I wa,s wr'olng about w'omlen, and that there are women that II can love. Althouqh I was disappointed that II[ would not dste her, 1 wanted hiler to be a friend.
A woman that I Ic:;alntrust; what a rare find. We met in .January 2B.C""1 and "or two years, until December '11 B.C. I spent . .. .. nrne .'.lth ert ." ... ith . '. . ·t' . . . ~.-I (c '.'. -I" rneno:)'' ' fc . d-'more ti ".'.' WL~' het t'-h" an. .WI'-" any 101,"-h er glr lor male f-:ror that matter. Sihe 'W'8S a visiting studlent lmrnlqrant so she could not , work '. here ~'I;and.. Ihad very-~~' .... . .... .... .. ..' ~[ittlemoney :so 1paid for everythinq,< , 1 and:- 'ver'y' g' la"d[I'Y':':__ '..:,:._ 'so ~ W:""eIt_, •...•.' •:':..: and_ shared ..:,:_, and'__ becarn e' goo'd:,:._ talked ". :_'. '..•..• __::.. __ ' ___ .1.:' '_. -..: _.' .:,: ~ :':'., _ .'. did __::'-":_ .. _._ :,:. :_'. ..:,:. :.: -..: :,: __ ::': .. -":.~
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[II could not deny iijt~ I did have feelinqs for her. but 'the' 11,[. . [:- . ~.·.. u ..•... more s'he staved frue to" herself and 'W' ould not g"ll~ve" ln and ortlv . would date foreiqn men, the more I respected heir. Out [of that res p-:-::.e·-::.···c-:,t..,; I d ld tCI· n d some ve ry'~.'.'.' g.:-"e-,n-"-: u.-I~ feeli n-"-"g":-IS-: 0 f" love to r h e r S···:.··.·.·· n--Ie-::' Ih·--; e would..__ ,._ ..e:-"'II -m-:'__Ie-::',:_"- 'I~._..~:_'':'_' -U ..[t' t'h'-:' fo -r~e··:-··'[ilg -n'-" [b'-'· t 8-:: b e·-:···, O· :-···~y···:·S-:: that ,:._, :_:":" ..h le':-" ~W:'..,:_ uld :_'.. -m-:· ..'·e-:··'e,,:':._. -: ·,:-" t '__".,:._" :_ ,:_:_"-__ _ ':_'" It,.. _ , _,-:_, "_' ·~O·,-::",,_. [ __ ... ':._.' .. :._ : __ [II ·d I· ., W'I· __ '_ _,[ur: ~ th""'roug h ICIllrC.as 10f f_rl[Bln['_S, b t S~"19 nl9V'er SeSmI9 d t· :0 C_IC k...•.• ith them tor some reason. She planned tOr meet with some foreiqn boys in the' UIS,A on her one month summer. trip there ln 1[B.[e, blurt: as not expecting too much, w
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WhUe she, was ani her frip in the U,SA [IIW8,:S sflll IPluggilng - -..-- -- rsterunq t _ _- II - P t _-- - _ --_- d .. b - _k - -_d t ---~ tc -- to awa,'y I~_t - --~- -- to 'seIf" h IeI"- ..apes, r[ea,1 Iingoo''''s, - anu trytnq -- .. decent job W"h..'· e.ln····· she c····.··a······ ···, ck w··········'le···.· ..·'t for d inner . m··.·. e· ba .. .. ··e, S.:-[h""e-""'·, n'B,·:I·1 a·.·· ~ •. , '.•... .....~:~-: . .__ 'l~~:._ told rn e' about her trip but dld not ,l~~ , . , ..•. I~', .......• .•..... mention any ~.,_':_she had met g'UIY' ........:'< ...., "11 as" s pee "Iila' S:'he' a' s k ed m'.'"e" if I h'a'td c o nne c ted with any> g"ll·rls·· while '. she W';8S gonle that month, enid I W,8S honest and said no. Sihe said she [had [not connected with any boy' either. It would be t[he last time I see her until December 30 1[B,!,'C~
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II[·was t.. k'" h b [k [h db Ih a,'lnlg "e1r >'['aCr:'om[e, an,~'<e f' or[e s'e 910 t.. ou,t [0f'" the car~1 s[he s;ays that she has somet[hing very importanJ't: to t,ell me"'1 blleca,us,e it iiis imp[,olrt,ant fl'ar heir th;B't, peolpl[e tlell thle truth. Sihe tells me that shle has 18 [bo,y'f'riend,~ Nlow, there wa,~s;a tiny part lof'
me' that h,oped th'at :she 'w'as ,g-,oing·· tleU me' that s,h,e missled ME .. to anld that shiel ha,ld reclons,idlered goinlg Q[ut w'ith mle ev[en thlo[uglh ~
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[But, I h:ad tOI respect the fSlct that :s,h[e 'W'8S a, pllerson lof' h,err word," ~'f she d[ild mleet a, 'f'o,reiiign bo'y that she Ii[ked,~ t:hen
©) Frank .., B,e[cau'se~-I-,Ha'v'eTo,-Be , Ke~rmit 2007 W WW'~fr,an,ktalI(s,~ C,Oln

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Realizlnq that even after' Y'ou get tlhis part of your li'fe under , __ _ r·e··.·.· .'. 1_ ".''. . ·0".' . .r II . 'a·': y' '.'.:_'.'. __ 'a:·w :_,.:,II · ,:_"·· [ntro "I wh le··.·rJe· .. _ . .'__ ..:_ y····:O····lu a····" ,' only 'a, lo··:·n·.. _:_.:_d_1._.'.. s.····lp···.a::·n·· fro ..' m··· y····:o·lur·_ •. . ,'IIL 1 .:·····a·····:·Y' ···:' · ..__ •. ..' next steady ~girlf'ri~endlor one niqht stand~.lit hi at beinq a ~ Ii... II •.' i ." I "Il .....• .L, seducer c'a'n' not fulfill a'''...11 of your - needs a'n'd' 'y'O'U s·t·111 n'e"e'd' to" gelt to the rest of your life (career, educaflon. family, health .,U)
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III W'8S the worst of the losers 'when I startled this. It: has been a, lonq road, and it is [not completed, And when I finalilly' a" "~" t"o this level t u'rns 0[1: that I had a wholee ne'w'~...'. 0- 'f'~ -- airn I "1:, .1.':, wno "',. set : :.••.•.•. p, . _rrived .•....••••• - -ut"......•..•........fl. to deal with.
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The only thing ~can say is that ~ami still glad that I am lo[n II, _--,'III -; ·····I~'<·.-" O _'1"<-':' UI'h'~IS'n 5 '['1d e' of lt The pal n of" ;:a' s•. e'due"e'" "11[nIII'-traininq '['I'IS' In' o ··t, pleasan III,. .. '1 r However, it is less U'k,e1Iy'to make a gluy feel suicidal than the pain a loser reqularly gOles through. That I know from experience.
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•.' ....~ \ Pain .' I Rev tslte d: D':e'lpre'S'

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[D:'- .- -. -.d Ing.··· hov - [II .-_.-.- y10u h ave be -.--. a sec --.-.- '" -. .·.epeln,' on lOW onq ..- -- . .-..,.- oeen - -. -.d uce-mt..:.ralnlng-'I '·t_ IS... 'very>~ ,:,. .,:,.,_Itt',:,.' g-o tnrouq ..:.. _hJ v...'ery~'.:.,. .:. __ ·..:., .,_._ .:.,.. d"'': epressrons h norma "'0 •.:... .:.. .:.__ . ,:,... __ .-:., .:.,. ' .. serious .- .:_/ ... .:_.....:.".:.. _·..,:, .,,:,, ,:". .. :':'., I' '_ · .:., _ .:_ _ ,'.:' _ ,_, _.. ".:_:. 'y,QU continue to _ ......• , '., _ _ ..•. ' __ .'. ,_,_,I, . :., .'., _._ _ ,I.: ", .._ '.. __ As ,:..'" ,._ , __ .:. .:., .:.' learn , tlhe social,_ beliefs'', . that..:. 'you have had all .•..••.. ' ll'~;;:,· .... . ' -' ',~"'".'. b e' sh •.•..•.. la .•...... ~IIP'S ·111 atte,.'. red Y'O' ur . llfe ab QUit rn...-e"n W' 0" rn"en' rs r ·t·IO· nsh.'. W'......- - .... ..'.:-> •
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The b1iiigigest shatter is the iiidea that there 'is no happy 'I':: ····S,>.. 11,"' ···c,:_~', _ ...•... W"O' ~, <II~'>··s endlnq if Ie'ft· . to'; c'h'a'n'c'e" Th in'g's d ..... not I" "just ......' rk o ut "1"1-; m '·1ra'c ~Ie' 0'" do NOT' happen 'without ,a hand ,~ etc, ..there is; no hope .. left ....because that llluslon ~gIO!t: shattered b1y some unpleasant rea III '" ity
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THA,T can bel the most depressinq part. Illnevery other aspect of Iiii , a man has nO problem 'wiiiththe idea of workinq to fie 91e'l:results, Slut when it comes to "love", there is thiiis unreafstlc expectation that destiny will take care of you. 'Your love lif'e, is ·- . t ~. k ".' rth '.' _t " I""f' c' JUs.:. ~I'_e lalny O_fl er- pl;a rt 0'f__ e'l. ~,~gIOOIl__ or- b atd ~ ·t· "'. yOlu- r f'_I,a u-It'~ 1_ ~ -.... d '. _.:. __ 1_ IS, .... _:_
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To all seducers-in-tralnlnq e:xperiencing the depression that IIIam talklnq about, IIIsuggest the followinq: Stay firm", You wiiiU

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survive this 0 bsta cl e'" Y'IOIU wlll overcome this setback. You are a ~ ·~ · h t ourn t 0 se d ucer-m- t r;8Inllng, par t 0 f th 8 specra I e llt 0 f' men t·mat b .OS I''8 learn tlhe real truth about what iiis going on. The road is a painful -.... -.~: :-:. .:-:. .... onle·" b. Ut t.h e rear.s rds ,.,:-:'r-'e, r"-.-.,,:-:[II a n:-d 1"1:-: -:- ..:-.- '" b,:-:···I 'Y<:- .-u are,Q1' -' .'.:-:.' be .'.:-: a .:-: e,B ~. ..•.... angl e·. 0 '.:-:-.-.-:. '.ec,ome· .:-:',:-:..,:- s[pelc:[I[a peop~e' hat ". -:ot' -'.':-: ~Ive -:'" .. .~ -.~ ---. -:" onle' 0_ th ose .:-:"-.'..':-:.".-,~,-: I -'.:-:-: :-:'-".:-: -:" t~fla~ .ge'_ I'1_0 11"':- .... ,:- ou- t~ A:····· L yOlur ~_ r ..~ 'L ·'I f'a··"'·n..··t. a.······S···.,1'8.····.s.··.:- - 0.•····.ln···' tlI a···.'. 't· m········e.····-'- - - 1
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'f' III your d epres sion IIiS'" com ;In'. 9 fro rn tlh'e'" p'ro"g' Ire'S' rs o"f' -b ~ d[ ~ ~ iecommp a sec ucer, ~t~ a sl~gn you rea -III are C h anglngl f-:rom 1- IS y 'wiiit:hiin. You have to mourn the loss lot that previous part of dl W· ld 'y" t th yoursett, ' Itt '" [I[S:8 gOlo'- S[llgn.vvear tt wrtrh pnc e.You W'I~[II ~gle':- ~erie. rt ·t" If The trade off can bile a difficult one but a lot less pain is, involved ... h'· . iide f h . .' .. ,. . onl t~ _lS Sl~', e' all t~_e c::anlyon .~ _
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Wh,en you change, and most of, i'f' not all, 10f' your male friends are still t[he same losers! (I ami [not talkinq about the ones that !glot: lucky and 'still got married, I mean the loser sinqle guys) ne thley were b f ore 'your d eve Iopmen t ,~
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[1'1a In' n' o'1' spe ak fo r oth e'rs o n-Iy rn"ys' e'lf h'e' reo '[!I'['S' w· ha ··,t I c can tell yOIU,~ I have either dropped many of' m'y loser friends, or · ceep a.IS.B[nCe 'W[II':-t''· h 1"1h d~ t" I-' rty JUst k tnern, I SIIll II may invlt th InVI"e riem t -~oa party, e.-:I;s-"·;S:-:· . . .' . " " '.. . ", ",.. . . .~ I b . ". , the . close.. nI··.· '. ". 1"'8-:,'.. n ot th e:-:' re ~ The . [b-:.I"'g··:--Ig·:-:- est. reason I"'S.-:, that they.. know ~I have chanqed in the 'w'a'y I deal with women, One of two '-llngls haplpens: ,thi
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Sometimle's, they start to use you since tlhey don't want to learn about women the way a seducer-in-tralnlnq does, [but they hope yOIU win introduce, them to women (either in social circles or · c Iuosj. T~ nave oone th Ii t 0 me many t· Ib ) ney h d In i:I~S imes. They wiU tell me what a terrible person [II am tor thin[kilng the 'w'ay I do (like t:[he teachinqs otthls book) but then, when we
©) Frank.., Bocausc-l-Havc- To-Be , Kermit W WW'~fr,an,ktalI(s,~C·Oln

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. [II .' .b '. . '.. t .... the .... .. "th . · are.' a'1 IOIUt aoou t t·town, the . b .'. me to lmtrod ucetnern t·10,8 ·t gllr I .. ney oeq . 0 .'. .' ..•.••• g' over there" or find ;.:.< 'w'ay'" to' ~>_' s·t·, a' that g··I·lrl c orne slt with IUS to'
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[II g--ot fired of this so ldeclded tlO use them back [II started to only introduce my' own girlfrielnds to my loser friends when I rant t']IO··· s·:h.·o·w· [h'"' e···.······..rat kind losers a··:·r·e.·.·· O·IU·t there .· .... ···.·· r·· w··:·.:····h 5":10·'· I c····'a····:··n· IOlo······k····.· ..· ..· gloold in comparison, lin time, I thlnk they got the hint because they have not asked me tiD pick: up girls for tlhem,~
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potentially meet women.

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[linfact, there are some mien that I have learned from that .'/'" . / ... I would never ~'I and I mean never want to associate wifh socially busi t :_f19 II thi I'"f t I or I·n a _~IUISI n ass setH"J• ng ~ Th at [115 t~ f_0 __'Y 10 f" '_,~_IS JLeS:_y'_'8 ~
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f II t· f'" tori T ~JS· nelx t~ secuon I~S a couecuon IO~ stories otf- m'y ~h ' /,_, ••...',---' '.•-." experi " .•--.~ .- I-!/,I e-' mices on this sid e' o"f- the ca-nvo In' Th "e'y t·II',o o k pla res "- at different points ln Imy lite, some even before my development. . ."', -" -,. " ". , '. , ,'..,. . .. ". -.' ,'. .-' Th ey ;8Ire' m. nlo pa .. rti '. Iar or:' er.ley . , . are stones . O· success.jiut b t d '. Th t ~ .. f . II ..... - .. - -.. '. . . l" '--IC,U ,..ith e,ae· olne.. ".. 18 f . --- a f'-' th e Ipailin 10f'-~ success. '. T-h e paJln 10' -h . - '. I:S,." '~Inge -. .-'I -- ,-. ' -.. ,.. .~. .-f;-' Willi, I, I _' I;: <",].'v '•. success ·IS·"· somefhlnq•• that_, I never fathomed ot 'Th··IS·' ·IS·' to serve_.' a counsel men .' . '/ .',' '." ',' . -. . ," .. I, . ....: as,-''-·-'·_-·· "," ..' ,". .' -" .-' an d a'. wa'." min ~ ,<. t· t. h'e""--'~ '.- readin g'' ··1 this.. '.' boo'." .',k,i Careful for the' thinqs you wish for. Just like becoming a harem . - ..te .. -.... I" .. .. . --. .d .... . th -- -. f tne master, you can n'OI_,a,Iway~slsee -- or unc ers t·ancd t te d'"angers. ,.. or tlh'.. ftt '~OIO at e. se d ucer r f t e, 0'-':8 n un tn I"" IS t arestv
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other women cheat like this, and] can act as if' nothinp ever I').. ?.' III, ' ,.' happ 'e"n'e"d' Then .'I: I 'W' ond ered how many tim 8'5' have IIIbeen I ln the uc tne o "I e position o"f' that I, r the r g' uY' a'"nd:,, d'id n't_,'kn'0'"'W II,,"", id n't eve nco' n'sid e'"r d it until now ... ~?,She knew thai nice gluy for 10 years of her nf:e as friends, and he was a good provider to her, and her kid (hie is not the a f-" th'" ).... ~.. fa t' II. K····'N:··· W·:' [II '.. ' " ... In th:e pO'SIJOn 0fth 8' o~_er ..·:··' · sitiot uhe _a,~_er~ ~n aCII, ___' O·· .' . was ~ __ .' .". mted ,0 .:9 1········,·· e'r"1;an'd had Ino gUIY~ T'h'" t-·ac· that I on~y wan ..le,··· to b case! t1,0 he e ict '. ····a,. al ,. i ..•.• :.,., intentions o f breakinq tlh"e'm up d ld not consoille rne '"I
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,·~6,__. t he' __ ' __:_:.' ,__<,~ :~ :~' ntin ~_ •••~ ~_ ~ .'~'.. I 'was' seeinq two' rea [Illy' great g''1"1'lr'[I[c at..__~,_,t· irne I haive co.•__ I~__ .I ue.. d t'o sea both woman. and like the two of them more eac:h week (··.··1 -" know this is still the honeymoon phase, Ibut so far SOl glo,odl, keepinq fin~gers crossed). Here is what I am daallnq with.~.1 am actually startinq tlO feel gu'~ltYIl I haven't been this happy in a long time and 1:0 think [II have met not Dine, but two people in my life makes rne.. belie'V'8 that II~ am incredibly" fo rtunate~.~D '_:__ wa n"1 to'.' L_ :~,~_ ·...~ 1_, "L__ '~...' _}J t ~_~ ~' ~ .... not .. o 11 ~ ".~' jinks thiiis with bad karma or anytlhing .. Now, I am seeinq tlhese two, rnakinq SUire, tlo juggille my schedule so that I~ ,give eac:h olne .... ,.. ." d" ' " .'. .'·,tt .. f ..' .',". nave dI' ., d' cown proper anc neerd- e d attennon, ano have even 'rurnec" d ' seeling former fuck-buddles tOI give more time to these two. Ev,elryone . ,./ ., . ,/ .... /../ ". .....././ .//> ..... .... . .... " .... . .. ". " . '.. knows.. fhe .'score ~ no one is bel ng-deceived." ,." and the two'./ of them have even met and spent an entire eveninq toqether with me. So 'w'hy the heck am I feie[~inggu'i~ty?1
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-I '''In,8-I-I' acrhireve.d a persona'. -I mil -I'es 't,· . ,... .. an. d -h"18,.' twc 0 'f~'rr e oestt, fi-:-- .... ..;;; . . one, . d ,,0 .. t h .. -b" . y .... .... '. '.' .... blos i th .' ~ d jllln t t re Ianonsrups In mi'y llf e a t t e nme. 'Y': ''In;8[Ill arnve, anc fl' d" QUI I au f· y lt d oes no t rn a ke y~·"",,··o:-: u as h a p--:lp-:-·.y·.·.: a? y··.··:o.·:-:.··· U-··- fh O:-:IU-· .-g'.-." h·-:,t··.. s Frea k··~['i I~ nier n'Ig:-- n ...... ...... demons!
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This is ani email I got from a girl who [II only slept with twice, and wh 0':-:1 I h:-"d not :s::-"e-.le:-:· n I~ I a bo U-·rt 1·8-1 a.. ·· I't-..h·-:·IS-,: 0:•. r I~ nte ra ctio n s always . ended_ up in me telllnq her not tOI contact me for a while because .~ _J ... '.' .. ._..... _ _,~ _ of the 'erratic nature of heir behaviolr,11 Her'e i~sth,e ,elmail:
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Hi Kermit ••. IJ;O-IU,,- ,a:--n·:-,·d- I' .n-'e-',I:t:e:-:r·· 11~/1'~J'1 n-' I. ·S? m·-'-'·e,-"·~s-~ z'.... ..' , u.· IlO:-:,U.·.··- Ic·-~,a:--n:-··'s:-'Ie:-:e- . I" n-:- ·e-v<~e-',r- g--'~':t:e:-:. U"," !o··.~: 2'.... . .. .. . .'. ... .. ~": .... '. . .. ~Jus.t ,tel' me ask y~OIUonie qu'estion ~,Wh'stWOUld' it tak,e :for me to
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be bac:k In your life' (even as tuck kiends), we cen be what ever' your' beer: deslree. Well, if you' don,"t want' Just to let you' know I MISS 'YOU SO ,MUCH' I!! and this is m',Y last emelt I' em writin'g
you, ityou oln~y knew how much u meen to me sometimes l think ebout the qoo d,:-'"imes .. . ...' we' h·',,·;.··.··_.'.," .. ......,' ",'. . /. woutddo UI..· ,"' a.--·n~-:y~:t·':~h-:';n~-g::-·:' a- ." toqethe« . "0- g:--o'::I' J.... ".'. .. ....."... t : 1. .... '". d . in the pestjust to be with you' I' th',;nk' ebout it tim's to tim's end l g'o cra'zy I never opened to someone SIO mucn before' in my life ~You' ere p,ro'b,ab.ly thin,klng is this ,girl psycho? No" l em lust crazy ebout you honest ,an'd tnysett. xoxooxo
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Niii e email hulh? 8,01 wlhat is so painful about this? This girl has a c boyfriend! She hasn't seen me in over a yearl Fuckl? ~ Great success can translate to real trust issues for my future con nections,
I W'8S at a, weddinq. I knew the, bride, but I had never met the _ ,-> < _ 11--_"< ....• >'I~-_ _....., __ groom Th e b rid e and IIIfl;1-rt·e'd reqularlv and I kn- e'w' eve rvth -lln"g abcut her sexual past, and 'w'e always planned to hook UlP, but sornethinq a~tw;ays came up", At the weddlnq, the bride approached me tor a dance. Wlhile we were danclnq and talklnq, le···:-:,' 8, urt this f rn e sh e--' sta rted t~"IO:-:. t·--e.·-:···III m e·-:··· S- h·-: sta rte d to fli rt·-:-·-- aq a I'"n thinqs like how she' was still rnakinq arranqernents with her, and d d t f ner .. ~ one or h gllr'If'nencd S t JOlin me rn a,sex ani:' nuc e picture t ki '.0 ~~a I:Jlng session, She is teUing me about her oln goinlgl affair with this .. ... sl . t ram th d woman b t-I tnait since h out th rer h b .dl can.. no- h .d IIe tne 1····.·· e·a 10f'" rus oan her bisexuality, slhe would rather I be, there instead of him. Agaiiiln~ I remind the reader this is happeninq as 'WIS aria dancinq at her wedding. Sihe and her husband are 'still together, and tltley' i-' ,> ...;.'...•. ~., ••..•....~" .,....,..... . ....•. 'IllC on I "'1)"_ '.•.... I ..•.. have two'.... klds 'with a t·II hird ..•• ' I the 'way' .-' He' -" III .......~,~:es n'ot, kn o"w 5·t;[111 d o about her sexuality. She' broke Iher affair tlo the other woman after the birth of her first kid. It makes me wonder who 'will dance with ml'y future 'wi'f'e, at OUIr w'edldiIng'" It ls a shame that at my' weddinq, I w'i IIII nd up think.ing about this moment at some point. e (Duel tal other circumstances, our planned me'etiiin,g In elver mate rla Iized) '"'
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A divorced
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I was havinq sex with a recently divorced woman. They had Ino lld '.' wh ats '.' e:-::·v·le:-:: S'·': .. alwa y-~:s··:-::·, said a- nd believed.. lt'. was . 0:-: '.' . '.' II r II .. ". h··--"-Ie·--:·· '.'.. . .' ;.'" II". . . C-· h·-:· ren because she never wanted to be' tied down with kids ev·e,r~.d .untll she , __ .... t _:_ m"ls: ~ _I g':"': a······v······:e·'·[r-such_ .._:__.I 'a, p·····.··8:S··: : [0.., nate time that she ria·' a·······I·IZ··.··/8:d·.·: m··e . _ ··· he S' __ .I· _ _. . __ --:··.., .. that the real reason she'd never had kids ls that she f:e~tthat Iher husb and would have bee' n a lousy dad' a'nd L ~Iv'e'n her' lousy' g' .. ~.··· kids she IR~·····EA~··-L-L'C'Y···~ wan -t-e······d·-··-t'IO:' have kids now my kids fro rn:." -M·,:·-y··.'.' sperm. By' this time she consldered herself too old tal have kids. I was honored Ibut I could not Ihelp but feel sorry for t:lhat ex-' husband, I hope hie never learns how litt:le his wife values him for that. She married him for security, and that is what she gOlt~ "11 ,~~ :.2, .._-_ :~' " __ I~~~>~ '1" un III, .... ..'"~__ ,_ '._' __~: untll s'he dld not Ins's·d h'· ..' anymore .I_EV'en mora ihan"1 that_:_,_ I hope I am never Qloing to be that ex-husband 'wiiit'lh some other guy' ma.king my wlte want hiiis kids, and not mine. Ouch. The leadinq cause of sulclde in adult males 'is divorce. They were divorced before I !Qlot into the picture, Thouqh I never met him, I 'still think about that gu'y~ and what his life must have been llke those days. ln fact, I know something of what is could have le.·a k Id nave b oeon me a, f' ew' years a,go~ I h o[pe ..... been 111 T h t- guy couio h 1.-<.:·1. .I save' a man 1 like him I:.' I: .. this 'Ib' r.~:: can''-:.':. ook hope fhat_~-..' n'o' man that-~-i ~IS readinq thiiis book ever has to go through this sltuation. Wei deserve better
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[ h - Olrmer sWinger, " ,-e f I k:new a woman that had a. relatlonshlp with a man for 11 years. ~ Th dld II: 0"... . ld ey nvec me rresty I-I~ ·t- a II IIlrgle':s,l~ vrc eos, Th,--..- ~. d t h s'w'lngler llf t Ie.-:ey bi-sexu al experiences.i.nothinq was forbidden. Then one day' they broke UIP~ Sometime later, she married :a nice man (very : • . u'-' ••..••. 1:/ : 1:...• •••. s·t·111 t.:><11 ...._. ..''.' ...:~-:- even have oqeth er and r'el'I'I'lglllo'llllsman) andI:i, today they are ~...... < _-.~.-'-I-.---.•. ~... ',-~---, .'_ .-I-··.~· four.'..':. kids I m ·e··t Ih'e'"r W' he n' she 'W' '8' S in'-1- tho-> e' urn" a'. rried u pa rt o"f he r 1IIIIIfe'" ' and she 'was the first swinger woman I met and explained the ~f' tit Th~ 'W;BS years b f'I,ore my d eve Ioprnen t. bHegan. oe c I1 esty 18.0 me'IlIIS She ended UPI sharinq witlh me! all her swlnqer experiences ·nc:_ul:Jng !g~'vlnglme t he vid he rt' d h I I dl I__ e Vl)_e'os ~s _' an_d h x-'pa_'_ner mal_le WI·t·_:_ _ __Ier __ others; and a number of photos of her duriiing lifestyle activltles for fear that heir current husband may find them. W'ltlY did she ····8·US' .. ....•......... ........, '...•.. I' . 9 lv e'". th 'e'.m··.. "t-o': m" e? :'-I..I'.~/ It~ "Is· be ·c· .'.'e' '". h. I:.e".r. h. us· .'.b,</'8' n. d•.... k·n: 'e'",w···, no" ·ti-h in' •.•.....• IH e': k:new nothlnq IOf' Iher past lifestyle, nothing of her bisexuality, nothinq of tlhese pictures and videos..., I (faiiir~y,8 stranqer) knew
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2007
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more about a side of hls 'wif'e than she would ever ten him due to her tear of' him [not beinq abille to handle lt. I got to know her, TOI this day I still protect her material, even though 'wle are no longer ln .'conta . •. ..•.. c 't '"I '8,,:,':·' a n d III nI eve , , r d ld a nyth ln 1;-'g' ' -' 'Is e··x·:· a I to"., ·e·:-::··'. t-··h:-I 'e:-" I Ih·-:; -p· ·e·:-:·· Ih·-::. . e ' .,'.....u 0""" ..... '. . ". "' II I; . . .•.. ' ' , r ~. ..· e ,-g·-.·I n .. fuitu .. ." '.' I a' m...-··· stro n-"-::'g""···:-::·,n-·-O"""IU-·h"'-' '1'10:-. h····'a' ndIle every~t'"-h""I~I.g:-:- a."," bo IU''t,o m-'-:""'-I'y~: .. re "'..-' wife's . n" n" ·1'5' S ··I '-= .. ../_ n'. y'o'" n" m' c ke ..· '5' e r·e·····"I;'[ze a' . II ~ Ih 8 P I;,a·' 's"11 B:' e·1 ~~Ig' 0" ~~,~ 'I'h'"1),.'. ""~"d Ie..·· 0" .' f' t ~~ 1--- c····a···1<1 ~ ~, ~~".. a'" ~.~~ m" ~~ ~~_.~L~~_~~_: t h· e·.·· k lt ~seicre t ~s'w'omlen r/eep' frOlm t·.. ' e men th ay' commll..iOOI,~t I: h ...
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I met this woman over the internet, and wle hooked U]P~ Whenl I m I~t o' _~~II' __ ) __ e ~~ dinne " ~'._~"_.~.i~ '._,. ~ I~~· _~_~,_~~~ __ d ~~__;~_, ._~_ go' 1'1,t}~ he' horn J~ fo II'~_ ~. _J~. [r turns o'uII'_,~she '['I'lS' married{~ , a' J~_ t"h'8't Ihe"r husba nd wa·s on I_~a bu siness_ t. rip.~_ S···.····,h,e'w'··:··...:a····.·s_ r.._ ssed for S9'X'-, and _ __ - I _ .. .• ,___ ~__ ~_ _ _ d e _ __ _ _ _ _, __ ., .'••... II; .• ' I~ ....I onlv '.'~ .' ~ ready,; tlo'"g'o '"I ,"S':":.•... g' ave rn"e' .'••...... ' I ~'I one rule' I co uld do I ;", he anvthinqI ~ 'w;-a~nted 't"O:-:1. h er EX>'IC·.·..··~··IE, have ' 'S..7·e·"""'X,> .' with I her in her m .. rita. I be d.• 'P/T .. II 1 ,. .., ,.' .. ' ' '.. .. '. . I.-a . .. . Nothing else W'8S off' limits. 'W'lellll, I really wanted tiD see how far I could take ~it~ S'~'O I pre tlt'y- ~'~~~ uc' hJ too< ~~ the attitude t'h'at' ~~o'w' ed the k I ~ ~'"~ n ~~<~ I~ ~~ I" m ,I J~~ ~ ~~~, I ~'J,I:~ ,~'~, place, and well, one thing lead to another. and within :30 minutes,
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The pain ln 'this story is fhat I never anf clpated that just runnlnq ani expe!rlmenr': " I"'k t h "' COIU:-:"'-'U--C- rt" so[me'one'II' A" ft. h..... h us-18[n:-:d ~]=Ie .- ·-::~]S Id h .··.· ... ·····.··--er e,r ....... b · ...... " .....•.... •....•..•..•..•....... ••• I .......•..... ......., •..•..•. = I.' ", ca'm'~'.~.,' b ac'~ k 11'~0..... he~ r_, they' started ..:,,:~ to' ... have ~ sex ';':'.';' aqa ...:...._in.. ~ ~ Her' phone~ _ ._. _ J'.'e __:...:._._~._." _ .. _ ._~ ~ ~., '. :_:.,_.:....~_ .__ ~~ _ .. .:._.__.. ' :_:.'~ . _;..,.:..;., ~ _'..~.'~ ._:_ ~ "~"'. ~ calls tOI me would declare t:hat she could only fhink a,bllolut mel -h lth .' TJ-h;;; -h t~ 'Wh e!n sle! 'w'as Wl~ .... hiIm,"II~s"appelns .... SOmeJlme'S~1 b t rr e ;u-~ th .. .' ..,. .'. sessions, e ff' IleCI s usua II'" d!" no t ~ t f" IOIr' m 10re.' '. 't'lh'an y." 0 ' .. ias '., . ,....... t ' ..'. a IC10IUpi.I'" 011f" .. Ie ..... ·· p-:""'·Ie:-:.·· '0 a-I B.·a,-"'" s-""'Ie:-:d··"'-· 10:-:'n I~e-·.r-:- la,-: '1 . .. . . s-.....t··...... a- nd t'"'h-Ie:-: n-'-::' t- h·e:-: IC:-::IO:-:.IU"·- g··"'-·Io:-:e·:-:·'.s-"'"Ib""'·.a-Ic:-:-k···=.:-:·· n-'-Io:-:"r--:'m-:"""::'h···lnk' ~ sh'e' fl·····.' em" a' III'1'0 m'e sh'e' 'W'8S st'· III 't._,_.I~ - _~·lng· .'~" a'bo'ut'~ -m"e'" e'v'e'ry'.' t··lm" .'~e .~ ..._ - .~.' I~a'·~·s. ~'.~_~.' ,~,...._._ ~ _' ..~ ~ ._.. ~ - .' ~__ . _._',,'
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Put it this, wa'Y'il~~ie"ven with the bad stuff that has (·'1... . 11 "" ~ h '·'111 happene d lIn tlh restt 0"f mly I·fe I,OSS all a JO,b a norne, f aim[I]Y' me I I~-,',:'-:~" :-:~I aarm st'ruggles·)·'·' ~II I •••. '............. have m"'Y' love <I-=:c, deaths ;.·I~· personal health s .,".LI~:·':-'-'", and if'" did not ";'>"~I'_ life 'in order when the shit hit the fan, I would probably b,e REALL'y fucked IUp~ And for 'some reason, gletting this part of my' life together makes all the other crap". ~~_'..:_.' spits .,. at 'you SIO much I.~ ':_'':_~'.'.:_.' "'':_ ,.:_._: life .. ._: .:_~ ._'':_ ,:.:'.:__.~ ..:_.:_. ~~.:_._ ~ .. _ ~..:_~~ more rnanaqeable. Life is worth Illiviiing for.
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Actually, it ls brighter. I want you to know that, There is ~t d h'·' h JUS-- a se' t- 0' f ,., IIISSUlel~s,I' h a't- QIC:lc:Ulrlre'- W'-IIIIC-I- I did no t- expleIC:- t- t1-10 d ea I 11_h~' '·'1- h t k f' h~1 W~II, .. A'-" I e'as t now /u ylou.now glome 01 t-h e t- ~llngs you may ;8III·S,O ex pect ~I n -U-I futu -r~'e":-::' M:·...._.--··a kes 'Y"':'O-:I-U- b ette r p -r::e··:-:·· p ared A-···:-·~w·--·,·~·a-··:-; r-' .. ::. reness ~I·S;-·· ,., 1 ;-,"0'·"""ug,' ~.... s ~ d '. ~ "-~' ~,~ <,', th'' ' S'-:--'-' , firs t s t ep Here 'a,1"8·--'-' S·· me mo·'·re thI.·-_~/ " ht____:,'~an~~--"'_ po n'id,".' rlllnlg-":.~
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Now, what happens when 'youl have absorbed S,O much tactic/ekill/whetever ....1:0 the point where YOUI are a, new pe'rso nl,. and what you were ls but a shell? 'When your pie roe ptlon of realility alters ~S,UIChl that you don't see people falillinig in love anymore when YOUI go tal wedldings, Ibut instead yOlu tlry tiD flqure QUit: what tlhe seduction behind the' couple gettingl toqether "really" was. Where' are 'you then?
·---:·,e~1 lE en afte r- d evelopm ent a sed cer .S7t~111 ca n f ·e-.·e··~.··.1sorn.. · -- ---:- naln l ,., t- h ,., R d tl · t t- h d f' pl;aln~ Illf'1-I he pain IS Illnll:---:e, prolcess Ills',e'I---:-lemIP--lonl I:S, a,-----Ie elnl:- 10-" e -h"-,-'."'-'.-, , ,·d'l? t~J ~e ro,a ..~.
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(ThI8,nk you V'ER.N)

I think we are ta.lking about the embracement of truths,
.' .'.' ' ._. '. '. !!i .. _. s . it tt oreat Ina ' IOlr, ,~ A- s for -U- -LT-I-M'" '-A'-·'-TE' re.lld-'-emp. ··,·t,'-,IIIOln I~S,I..' t lua,. glrea. f~'" .. '-1 relationship? S,olrt ofthe best revenqe (tor 'your past loser life) is a life well Uv,edl?' Attractlnq your kieal partner? ls it to find the Ultl> ...., .- ..:.... ~ .. M ate ?.
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©) Frank,., Bocausc-l-Havc- To-Be , Kermit W WW'~fr,an.ktalI(s[~C,Oln

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©) Frank Bocausc-l-Havc- TOl-Be Kermit W WW'~fr,an,ktalI(s,~C,Oln

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The Story of Frank B. Kermit

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3

'g.' "'7/ 8"""."'-,10".' ".<.,

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fra nlkta Ik:s _co m.

If the offer is reasonable questions wUI be asked.

you just say thanks,

W~"--'-Ie:-: g·':--IO:-:It··• '. ..... ..

0···· W"->::B:- rd •. n ·..•.•.•

©) Frank.., Bocausc-l-Havc- To-Be , Kermit W WW'~ frlan,ktalI(sl~ C,Oln

Frank' lntroductlon lntroducfion: The ,Story of Frank B Kermit

©I Frank, B,e1cau,se'-I-Have- To,-Be, Ke~rmit 2007 W WW'~fr,an,ktalI(s,~C,Oln

Why see it as manag1elment?

The REAL d'anlgers of MWM

'What dlo I want from her?

AFTER Math, the final lessens

©I Frank, B,elcau.se'-I-Have- TOI-Be, Ke~rmit 2007 W WW'~fr,an,ktalI(s,~C·Oln

The IBest was vet to come. ..

The mOist ulnrealll and shlnin m-··o···lm····e· O.f" m···d evelo mt ..

E'v",e':-\'r'1 '.'. -::. I~..

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She paid Me for SEX

Part 6 - Epilogu,e: ThB~ Pain R8'V'isitB~dland the Clonc,lusiionl

17 17'2"-'" 176 177

1S"5 <I ','.

©) Frank.., Bocausc-l-Havc- To-Be , Kermit W WW'~fr,an,ktalI(s,~C,Oln

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This is the journey' beqinninq of' 'YOUIrSi

'of my being ~ .and

©) Frank.., Bocausc-l-Havc- To-Be , Kermit W WW'~fr,an,ktalI(sl~C,Oln

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that l'd known

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