In the summer of 2010, an ambitious social studies teacher named Mr. Jee decided to take over the world.

Throwing all threats to his authority in jail, he disposed of a group of twelve rambunctious teenagers. He and an army of wijits snuck into the kids houses and kidnapped them, throwing them into a small cell. They had no food, weapons, water, entertainment, or any item other than their clothes, glasses, and some light that had no source. The social studies teacher not only wanted to eliminate the threat the teenagers posed, but he also wanted to study them. He told everyone these were the two reasons for imprisoning them, but he actually had a good deal of money staked on who would survive. I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE! KILL ME!!! How long have we been in here?????? Panda screamed. Good idea! Leslie half-joked, irritated beyond belief at Pandas insistent shrieking. Uh, two minutes and forty-eight seconds, said Jeremy, checking the watch he had smuggled in. Stop whining, you big wuss, Leslie grumbled, curled up in a ball like some kind of animal. I dont WHINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Panda squealed. Leslie imitated her perfectly. Panda was reduced to quiet whimpers. NO LUIGIS TALLER! bellowed Brian. NO BOWSER IS! Markus asserted. Samantha mewled and tucked her hands over her ears, blocking out the sound. LOOKIT LOOKIT LOOKIT IM DOING YOGA!!!!!!!!!! Patel screamed, beaming as well as she could in her contorted situation on the ground. Im LOOKITING! Raj yelled. Thats not a word, Samantha grumbled. Three minutes, said Jeremy. STOP TALKING, you bunghole, Steven said. Im hungry, Kaniyaa mewled. Suck it up, grunted Steven. You shut up, Kaniyaa retorted. I didnt say shut up, but if you could that would be nice, Steven replied nonchalantly. I dont CARE! Kaniyaa whined. Everyone, youre stupid! Maddy exclaimed from her little corner. Thats what she said, Steven squacked. SHUT UP! Samantha growled, and charged Steven, knocking him into a wall. His glasses cracked but remained intact. That doesnt even make any sense! she said, after thinking for a few seconds. Ehh whyre you so mean to me? Steven whined. Why me, why me, why mee??????????? Rajashree sang to herself in her corner near Maddy. They had scraped together a little half-inch-high wall of dust around them and engraved next to it, Stay out if youre abnormal. Stay away from me! Samantha whined. Not possible, Brian said in an undertone. Were in a locked stone cell. You big bully! Panda said, and pushed Jeremy. God you guys are stupid, Leslie muttered, pulling her hood over her eyes. She smiled in ignorant contentment. Until Samantha fell and landed on her. Brian PUSHED ME! she wailed. Leslie jumped up and shoved Brian against a wall. Markus ran to avoid him. Everyone was running and yelling, except Raj and Maddy. Patel was especially frightened, because she was on the ground with her foot behind her head and her arms wrapped around her left leg. Help me she squeaked. She tried to scoot to Maddys corner, but she only succeeded in lurching forward, rolling over, and getting stuck. Rather like a handicapped turtle. On its back. When Leslie and Jasmine had Brian pinned against the wall, and Kaniyaa and Panda were standing on Steven, the dust cleared. Patel was limp on the ground, still in a contorted position. Holy *censored* I think shes dead! cried Steven. Rajashree wailed. NOW YOURE A BUNGHOLE, YOU STUPID PIDIOT!!! she shrieked at Steven. One down, thirteen to go, muttered Jasmine.

Pidiot, grumbled Panda. HAHA pidiot! Hah lawl! Hee hee! Heee hee heeeee hee hee hee. Five minutes later. Heee hee heheeeeee hahaha heh heeeeeeeee! Hee hee! Fifteen minutes later. AHAHAHAAAA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Thirty-six minutes later. HAHA HAAAA LAWL stoppit I cant take it anymore!!!!! AHAHAAAA pidiot HAAAAAA! Rajashree sniffled. Jinxie had hopes and dreams. I had hopes and dreams, but now I just want to die, Brian drawled, burying his head in his arms, curled up in a corner, trying to stifle the noise. This is a good time for a Ted imitation and a colorful metaphor, Maddy asserted. Brian, youre not the one who should die; Panda is the one who should be doing the dying, Samantha said sarcastically, and laughed to herself. Thirteen heads swiveled towards Panda. Thats not a bad idea, Michelle suggested quietly. Oh shoot. Hee hee. Hee. Oops. HEE HEEEEEEEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HEE. HEE HEE. Panda guffawed, her hand over her mouth in an attempt to stop the giggling. PIN HER DOWN! Markus hollered as everyone spontaneously jumped toward her. Her arms and feet were pinned against the wall, but her giggling wouldnt cease. Hee hee that tickles Sammywuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu stoppit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jazziminny stop poking me!!!!!!!!!!!!! Panda suddenly shuddered violently, shaking her arms and legs to make them let go of her. If you guys dont want me here Im just gona KILL MYSELF! Help yourself, Steven said in an undertone. My pleasure. Ohhh! Panda wailed.
*censored content*

After Pandas suicide via shoelace-hanging, Markus dragged her body so that she was laying next to Patel, whom Raj had finally managed to untangle. Ariel woke up and yawned. I need to stretch my legs, she said, beginning to do her warm ups and ballet excersizes. She glanced around. AWW Patels dead, what happened? BRIAN!!! she said, whirling to face him. Ehh its not my fault, Brian said, covering his face. DONT CALL HIM A PIDIOT! Steven said loudly, waving his hands. WEVE LEARNED OUR LESSON ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THAT! Ariel hmmphed and resumed her twirling. Leslie curled up near Raj and Maddy to avoid her flying legs. Markus, Brian, Jeremy, and Steven leaned against the wall, avidly discussing graphing calculators. Ariel began to twirl, doing one pirouette. Two. Three. Four. NO ITS SINE X SQUARED! Brian asserted, jumping up. AUGH! Ariel exclaimed, trying to jump backwards, but she had too much momentum. She fell away from Brian and her leg hit the wall. There was a sickening crack. *censored*! Ariel yelled. Ooh you broke your leg! Can I poke it? Jeremy asked, crawling forward. GO AWAY YOU YOU Ariel racked her mind for an insult to let out her anger. Bunghole! Steven suggested. Aghk! He stumbled backwards, waving his arms as Ariels fuzzy once-blue sock hit his face. The boys retreated to their corner again. Maddy and Raj tentatively peered over from their corner. Patel and Pandas bodies rested in the third. The rest of the girls sat scattered around the fourth corner and the center of the cell. Rajashree repositioned Ariel so that there was no weight on her injured leg. This is YOUR fault! Leslie said, shoving Brian. WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME? asked Brian, standing up. Because youre the only one here who cant go thirty seconds without hurting someone or hacking something! Samantha shouted in his face. Her volume grew until she was yelling.

WYREREACHHHHHHHHHHH! Jasmine snarled, jumping on Brian. It sounded like some kind of super-angry anteater. With a bullhorn. And amps. On steroids. He panicked and dove into an army roll. DUDE THAT WAS SICK! Steven shouted. Jasmines flying legs knocked him to the ground. *censored*! Steven shouted again. The other girls jumped into the fight. Jeremy and Markus were forced to intervene in order to make sure Brian didnt get killed. Leslie snuck up from the back and grabbed Brians neck. He yelled and spazzed. Leslie was thrown into a wall and cracked her head. She moaned and rolled over, then was motionless. YOU STUPID YOU KILLED ANOTHER PERSON!!! Rajashree bellowed at Brian after she checked Leslies pulse. No! Gosh, it wasnt my fault!!! Brian yelled back, and shoved Rajashree against the wall. YEAH IT WAS! Raj, Samantha, Jasmine, Maddy, Kaniyaa, and Ariel all yelled at once. Cool! Another Steven yelled, then started chanting FIGHT!!! FIGHT!!! FIGHT!!! Shut up!!! Kaniyaa screamed as she bashed Stevens face against the wall, leaving him lying unconscious on the floor. His glasses cracked again. I cant take it anymore! I need food!!!!!!!!! Leave him alone! Youve knocked him out! Markus said, then paused as he adjusted his glasses. Cool. Steven, are you ok? Jasmine asked. Glancing up awkwardly, she added, Not like I care Yes, you do, Kaniyaa teased. Take it back, you bunghole! Steven grunted as Jasmine rushed at Kaniyaa, shrieking. Both girls screamed as they collided. Stop it! Im hungry! You dont need make my life even more miserable!!! Kaniyaa screamed. Guys, guys! Leave each other alone! Too many people have died already! Rajashree cried, trying to separate them. She rushed forward to try to pull the two girls apart. THINK ABOUT LESLIE! Would she want you guys to fight? Everyone thought for a second, then stared at Raj like, That was a stupid question. Yes, she would, said Jasmine, and threw herself at Kaniyaa. Raj finally pried them apart, only to be confronted with a nasty surprise. Brian had charged toward the two fighting girls at the same time Raj pulled them apart, so his punched landed on her neck. After a sickening snap, Raj cried out, swayed, and fell forward, limp like a ragdoll. Oops, Brian said. He lay on the ground, Rajs twitching body slumped across his legs. Oh my god, its NEVER going to end, Maddy groaned. Holy *censored* I think shes dead! Steven said. For the second time that day. Neeyooooooopppppfffftttt! Maddy said, making a sound like an airplane crashing. Downhill from here. This has been a REALLY weird day. Youre so STUPID! Samantha yelled at Brian. Yeah, you bunghole! Steven said again. Markus slapped him. Okay, everybody LISTEN. Based on the lengths of everyones arms and legs and using careful geometry Markus launched into this whole super-long lecture about how by positioning everyone at a certain spot, sitting up or standing, no one would be able to hurt eachother. He talked about radii and geometry and distances and absolute values at such a high speed that Ariel began to snore. I feel like a blind person. Samantha said after Markus finished his lecture. In a dark room. With sunglasses. Looking for a black cat. Thats not there. Screw you, Markus, Steven moaned, rolling over and banging his fist on the wall. Priyanka Patel, Priyanka Panda, Leslie, and Raj have already died. Its been less than two hours! Samantha continued. I think we can make this Jasmines new record, Brian muttered. Now please get Rajs carcass off of me. In return, Kaniyaa kicked him. Brians hands were too slow to block his face, and blood began to pour down his cheeks from his nose. Akhlthpht! he spluttered, spitting out blood. DONT CALL RAJ A CARCASS! Kaniyaa shrieked. Well, she is one, said Markus. Shut up, said Michelle. She knocked Markus forward and he fell onto Chip.

HEY, NO PUSHING! Chip vehemently yelled, shoving him. Her usually ponytail was awry and her face was turning red. Dont tell me what to do, Markus said, and tried to shove her again. It didnt work. Chip growled and shoved Markus again. Ha! What now? she said. Steven, thinking that was enough, shoved Chip. Jasmine and Kaniyaa instantly attacked him, and the fight broke out. You guys never learn! shouted Maddy, trying to pull Markus away. The fight only grew worse. When everyone collapsed on the ground from exhaustion, they realized that one of them wasnt moving. Ariel had been trampled, kicked, and sat on in the brawl. Brian and Maddy carried Ariel to the corner, while Steven and Markus tried to take Raj. Her weight was too much for them, and they fell to the ground the first two tries. Jeremy jumped up to help them, and they successfully half-dragged her to the corner, where she lay between Priyanka Patel and Leslie. The row of dead bodies was depressing: Raj, Patel, Panda, Leslie, and Ariel lay in a line, bloodstained and battered. Ariels leg stuck out at an awkward angle, Pandas neck was twisted to one side(her neck broke when she hung herself with her shoelace), and Raj had blood trickling down her face. In most stories, they say, Her face was so peaceful she appeared to be asleep. It was not the case here. Panda looked like she was crying, which she was when she died. Rajs head lolled at a strange angle, and Leslies teeth were bared in a snarl, though her eyes were open and fearful. Samantha self-consciously reached down and closed them. Eww, eww, eww, eww, eww, eww!!! she squealed, breaking the mournful silence. Kaniyaa burst into tears and curled up next to Michelle. Jasmine stood near a wall in the shadows, but her eyes glinted angrily, flickering around until they came to rest on Brian. You know, she began ominously, Without much exaggeration, I can blame all their deaths onyou. She pointed with her index finger, first at the bodies then on Brian. What NO! Brian exclaimed in shock. I didnt want them to die! Whether you wanted it or not, it happened, said Samantha, standing next to Jasmine. The grief in the kids eyes switched to burning anger. Only Markus remained passive, dabbing at a bleeding cut with his shirt. Jeremy looked confused, but angry. Brian stared around in shock. They would be on my side if they were alive, Brian asserted. If they were alive we wouldnt be having this argument! said Michelle. She and Maddy stood up with the other girls, so that the four of them formed a dangerous, bloody semicircle around Brian, who was sitting on the floor. It was an accident! said Brian. Jeremy, you tell them! Im right, right? Youll be right if you say Im right cause Im right. Wait, what? Brian stuttered the last few words. Jeremy stood up, not next to Brian, but not with the girls, either. He bit his lip and it looked like he was confused, and when he spoke, his voice shook. This isnt Mariokart, Brian. Theyre dead, and theyre not coming back. Brian stared up at them in horror. Its time for you to pay, snarled Jasmine. They converged on him. Brian jumped up and tried to escape backwards, but he was against the wall. He was fighting hard, but the girls overpowered him. Jasmine especially was dangerous. The girls jumped forward, swiping at Brian. He slipped to one side and continued backing up, but the girls were relentless. Even Maddy struck Brian several times. Jeremy stood back, looking sad. Jasmines final punch pushed Brian backwards. He fell onto the floor, vulnerable. Ghost bananas! Go away! Stop! Fail! Agh! Brian yelled periodically. He spat out blood again. As Jasmine jumped down towards him, he swung his leg in an attempt to land a last blow. Jasmine! Jeremy yelled. Brians leg was heading right toward her neck, where her pressure point was. He jumped forward and grabbed Brians leg, stopping its motion. Jeremy! yelled Markus. Jeremys action allowed Jasmine, Samantha, and Michelle to rush forward. If Jeremy hadnt snatched Brians foot, Jasmine would have been knocked unconscious. Within a minute, Brians limp body was as cold and still as the others. You know what, Jeremy? Killing Brian was STUPID of you! Markus growled, and launched himself at Jeremy. Akk! Jeremy yelled. I didnt kill him!

Now its BORING around here! You HELPED! Markus yelled. Despite Maddys and Michelles attempts to pull Markus away from him, Jeremy was soon about as lively as the bricks in the wall. Markus had tears dripping slowly down his face, despite the fact that he was the one who killed Jeremy. Jasmine stood near the wall, then, her expression cold, her eyes closed. Markus walked behind her, heading towards the boy corner. His footsteps were silent, but Jasmine sensed him. She whirled around in alarm and struck his neck and stomach i Oh, shoot, Jasmine said. She rolled Markus over, but he groaned. After several minutes, Jasmine worked up the nerve to slowly drag Markus to where the other bodies lay. They sadly looked at the row, which seemed to expand every few minutes. Panda, Patel, Leslie, Raj, Ariel, Brian, Jeremy, and Markus all lay in a row, each with a different expression, though most of them looked like they were in both physical and mental pain. Jasmine whimpered, beginning to hiccup. She slowly backed up until she melted into the shadows for some quiet time, invisible to the other prisoners. There were a few minutes of silent vigil. Samantha stood there by the wall, vertical by the loosest definition of the word. Jeremy and Steven walked up behind her. Her gasping sobs masked their noise. Jeremy poked Samanthas shoulder lightly, murmuring, Sorry AHHHHHHHH! she screamed, jumping three feet in surprise. Her head hit the wall, hard, and she cried out, landing in a crumpled heap on the ground. YOU IDIOT! Michelle shrieked. The girls rushed to where Samantha lay. A thin trail of blood trickled out of her ear. This will get annoying pretty soon, Steven said. ANNOYING? Michelle screamed. YOU JUST KILLED SAMANTHA! Chip had tears pouring down her face by this time. They ran down her cheeks and into her scratches and made them sting. YOU COULD HAVE MADE HER FEEL BETTER! THEN SHE WOULDNT HAVE BEEN MOPING SO SHE WOULDNT BE DEAD! Steven yelled. Oh, now youre gonna blame it on me? Michelle retorted. YEAH, YOU BUNGHOLE! Steven said. ARGH! Michelle shrieked, and jumped onto Steven. His cracked glasses finally snapped, falling onto the ground. Ahh I cant see! Get away from me! He yelled, swiping at the air like a girly girl. Foooooooooood, Kaniyaa moaned piteously. Cant make it hungry . . . food! Michelle and Steven froze, Steven throttling Michelle while Michelles fist was inches away from his face. Kaniyaa moaned again. Steven let go of Michelle, who dropped to Kaniyaas side, shaking her gently. Theres some blood over there she said hopelessly. Kaniyaa shook her head sadly and curled up, clutching her stomach. Come on, Michelle. Lets play a game, Maddy began weakly, pulling Michelle away. Michelle burst into tears again. Life SUCKS around here! Chip screamed. And its all YOUR FAULT! She pointed at each of them in turn, ending with Brian. I dont even WANT to live anymore! Upon proclaiming that, she fell to the ground and curled into a small ball. I dont want to live anymore, I dont want to live anymore, I dont want to live anymore, she moaned over and over. Come on, Chip. This is so unlike you! Michelle said, gently shaking her. Chips chest rose and fell with sobs, until the violent shaking died away. Chip died with it. Michelle and sobbed, and held Maddy because she was the only one who wasnt bloodstained, crying, or dead. I guess Ive turned into the family shrink, Maddy said with defeated acceptance. Michelle and Maddy carried Chip to the corner of the room. It made the row of bodies look pathetic. How can you die that way? Michelle asked herself quietly after a while. You lose the will to live, Steven said sadly. Maddy began to cry for the first time that day. I cant TAKE IT ANYMORE! she wailed, sounding strangely like Chip. She leaped up to the wall, supporting herself four feet above the

ground by sticking her hand into a small crevice. She then used her legs to push herself off of the wall so she did a tumbling flip through the air. Though he was splattered with blood and tears, Steven looked up, squinting from the loss of his glasses. Dude, that was the sickest wall jump EVER! He yelled. Maddy twisted in the air so that her head went right through the shoelace noose Panda had made for her suicide. Her foot accidentally struck Michelle, who dropped to the ground, limp. There was a sickening snap, and Maddy hung from the ceiling, lifeless. Steven, blind as my hedgehogs grandfather without his glasses, couldnt see the slow rise and fall of Michelles chest as she lay there, unconscious; he thought she was dead. OMIGOD IM THE LAST ONE ALIVE!!!!! Steven cheered happily. He threw his head back and his arms up and he began to ran in circles. He smashed into one of the walls at full speed. There was a little crunch and he slowly slid to the floor, like in Tom and Jerry, but he didnt automatically inflate afterwards. Michelle coughed and lifted her head. After looking at the scattered bodies of her friends all around her, she realized she was the only one left. Unlike Steven, she curled up into a ball and sobbed. Something jingled in her jeans pocket. Huh? she whimpered. She felt her pocket and pulled out a set of keys. The key to the cell door. OMIGOD IM SO STUPID!!!!!!! she wailed. AUGHHHHHHH! she sobbed, heartbroken. There was a small thud and a shadow dropped from the ceiling and landed in front of her. AUGH! Michelle shrieked. Again. She jumped and spazzed, and the keys were tossed into the air. Jasmine caught them, unlocked the cell door, and rushed out. Michelle chased after her, screaming, Wait!!! Jasmine!!! But the door had automatically locked and Jasmine, ignorant of this, was free again. Michelle eventually grew old and senile, teaching herself how to speak Vulcan without any resources and talking to her dead friends for company. The guards eventually took them away, but Michelle drew their outlines in the dust with her finger and told them stories until she died, too. And they all lived happily ever after.