Effective Parenting

By Student Support Department

Humor is a Good Way to Begin!

A little more humor

What is Discipline? Not this!

Discipline
Discipline
Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement (Webster); Disciple one who follows the teaching of another.

Perspective on Discipline
Shows kids what they have done wrong
Shows them how they are responsible

for their actions Teaches them how to solve the problems they have created Leaves their dignity intact

Punishment
Punishment
Defined as imposing external controls by force on children to change their behavior.

Perspective on Punishment
Is adult oriented Requires judgment Imposes power from without Arouses anger and resentment Invites conflict

Why Punish?
The misbehavior often stops

immediately. Children often show remorse during punishment. The parent gets to blow off steam. The parent feels in control. The parent hasn't let the children "get away with it. The parent was raised that way.

Whats Working and Whats Not!

We must examine our current practices, let go of the way it was when we were kids and find effective techniques to get the results we want!

The Approach We Need.

Must convey a belief that the child can make a positive choice and learn from his Mistakes Must teach the child the desired behavior Must look at the reason for the misbehavior to help us determine the best approach or strategy.

Reasons Children Misbehave

Child is tired or hungry
Attention Power Revenge/Anger Display of Inadequacy Fear Depression Loyalty to other family members

Positive Discipline
Ignore minor, irritating behavior
Praise and reward positive behavior Be specific with praise

Work with the child to set basic rules

Decide together what consequences will

result from breaking the rules Use consequences consistently and calmly when rules are broken

Discipline Techniques
Anticipate trouble
Give gentle

Be Firm
Stay in control Separation Behavior

reminders early Offer choices Overlook small annoyances Fix-up Ignore

management Redirection Praise

What Children Need.

I tried to teach my child with books, He only gave me puzzled looks.
I tried to teach my child with words, They passed him by often unheard, Despairingly I turned aside, "How shall I teach this child?" I cried. Into my hand, he put the key "Come, he said, play with me."

People are not for hitting,

And children are people too.
--John Valusek, Wichita, KS

Keep Up the Great Work!!

Recognize that behaviors meet needs.
Teach children healthy ways to meet needs. Model that working hard is most

important, not achieving perfection! Give praise for effort and hard work and help kids understand that success takes time . Provide consequences that teach and restore.

Albert Schweitzer once said: "There are three ways we teach our children. The first is by example; the second is by example; and the third is by example."

Thank You For Coming!!