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Introduction
Topics of Discussion
Models of effective communication: basic model and the pyramid of mutuality Communication styles Native tongue exercise
Sender message
channel noise
receiver
Pyramid of Mutuality
Mutual Respect
Mutual Meaning
Silence
Withdrawing Hiding
Mutual Purpose
Politicking Monologuing
Violence
Labeling Attacking
Mutuality
A win-win situation that is built on a foundation of trust Sharing things in common Seeking for things in common:
interests goals
values
Mutual Purpose
Common goals or objectives that are built on a foundation of trust Something we want
Mutual Meaning
Observations, assumptions, conclusions, and feelings that both parties acknowledge as valid Available Meaning: When ideas, observations, and values are acknowledged and understood, they become part of the available pool of common meaning Hidden Meaning: Through sharing meaning we become more aware of inconsistencies in our own thinking
Mutual Respect
Critical for maintaining dialogue Both parties choose to treat each other with dignity, decency, and consideration, based on the assumption that others are reasonable, and decent
Withdrawing hiding
politicking
Silence Strategies
At work
In school At home With friends
Violence Strategies
At work
At school At home With friends
Strategies Test
1. Let me see if I understand.
2.
3. 4. 5.
6.
7. 8. 9.
Answers
1. 2. Let me see if I understand. -dialogue. Trying to understand Oh yeah, you bozo. - labeling. Name calling
3.
4.
5.
6.
I can see youre angry. Is it because we missed the deadline? - dialogue. Trying to understand
Theres no time for discussion. Just do it! Monologuing
7.
8. 9.
Effective Communication:
A change of heart, not just a change in behaviour
Underlying Values
Silence Value Dialogue Violence Control outcomes Be right Control Shared outcomes meaning, Be right learning Keep it hidden Disclose little
Purpose
Share openly Demand your own Share openly Force your own Intentional strategy
Meaning
Respect
3 Practice Scripts
Make specific, personal ground rules: I will use a calm voice when speaking to Critique your performance: How did you violate the rule? What went wrong? Manage expectations: begin an interaction with some explanations - in the past this has ended in shouting match. Apologize appropriately to allow dialogue to continue
Next Steps
Commit to effective communication Understand the problems within your group Document your progress in you diary