Understanding Communications in One-to-One Relationship

Bianto Windriyo Dimas Aditya Marko Rasuandi Mayang D. A. Y.

Background
Most of people who work in organizations are in relationship with a wide range of people. Problems of communication:
Political in-fighting and power struggles Personality conflicts Conflicting goals

Effective Communication vs Good Communication

Effective Communication:
Its a suitable concern for people in management who are constantly trying to use communication to obtain specific results

Good Communication:
Is prerequisite but does not insure effective communication.

Example of a situation in which occurred failure in communication

Tom, Steve, and an Opportunity
o Steve Watson, regional sales manager was recommended by Tom Ellery, vice president of sales to take over the marketing services department. o Tom recommended Steve for several reasons:
- Steves experience as sales manager would give idea of what kind support that marketing services need. - Steves transfer could correct the image problem. Marketing department considered as a place for ineffective people in product management or in field sales.

Example of a situation in which occurred failure in communication (cont.)

Steves response:
Steve both uninterested in the transfer and a little curt as well Steve assumed that he didnt have background to do the job, and he still had a lot to do in sales region

Toms response:
Tom felt annoyed by Steve's response and questioning his original judgments about Steve's flexibility and adaptability

Result:
Steve resigned to take position with competitor Tom later found out that Steve had left because he had concluded that his career with the company was finished when Tom offered him the marketing services job

Understanding the misunderstanding

Framework that describes different experience of two misunderstood people.
Assumptions: Values, beliefs about things ought to be in given situation. Perceptions: What actually seen, heard in given situation (contrast with the assumption) Feelings: Emotive response in reaction to a given situation.

Understanding the misunderstanding (cont.)

Assumption, perception, and feelings often interrelated.
Negative feelings Positive feelings
Anger, anxiety, fear
Satisfaction and self confirmation

Inconsistent perception of situation about how things should be

Perception of situation based on past experience

What Tom and Steve assumed, perceived & felt

Tom initial assumption: Promote Steve based on his outstanding performance Assumed Steve will be pleased & interested Perceived: Negative reaction (contrast with assumption) Felt: Annoyed and questioned Steves flexibility

Steve initial assumption: Good sales manager did not transferred out of sales division (based on observation). Steve is a good manager Perceived: Tom offering for position transfer as sign of dissatisfaction Felt: Negative feelings of surprise, anxiety, threat and resign to other competitor

Facilitating Understanding
Having had a glimpse of how each of the people experienced the situation The Purpose : Easier to understand the misunderstanding Information is an important thing to understanding more deeply about other people.

What do you do, if theres a possibility that could prevent you from hearing other persons views
Increasing your awareness to other persons :
Assumptions Perceptions Feeling Try to imagine the reality Recognizing your point of view

Assumption
Misunderstanding stemmed from the different sets of assumption. Assumption will impede the understanding because we never know another persons experiencing. But an Assumption is a process of communication.

Examples of assumptions
Below is the process of assumptions in the daily communication :
Other person perceived situation. Other person making same inferences we are. What is taking place should be logical The other person ought to experiencethe same feeling. The communication in a given situation has no relation to other event. The persons understanding are based on logic not feelings.

Tendency of evaluate and judge

Judgment on what we think based on our assumptions. Carl Rodgers ( Psychologist) Said that the Major barriers to interpersonal Communication are:
Natural tendency to judge with other person saying To evaluate To approve or disapprove

We approve the perception of other person behavior fit with our perception.

Solution to minimize judgment

Trying to hear other persons concerns in order to improving communications. Trying to hear it doesnt mean that your view is agree, but at least hold the judgment in order to understand other persons view.

Anticipate the problems of communications

There are three things are necessary to anticipate and deal with the problems of communication, follow as :
Awareness of other persons experience Conceptual understanding Examine and act upon what is taking place in the communication process.

Tagiuri suggestion
Tagiuri suggest the following strategies to prevent communication problems :
Suspend judgment of right versus wrong. Attempt to see the situation. Define terms and check the meanings with other persons. Deal with facts. Reopen communication. Restate issues. Stimulate feedback.

Thank you for your attention,,,