What it looks like and what to do about it?

By. Sri Ovaningsih Wed, 19th June 2013

Did you know?

The word bully used to mean the total opposite of what it means now. Five hundred years ago, it meant friend, family member or sweetheart. The root of the word comes from the Dutch boel, meaning lover or brother.

How does it make the kid feel?

Alone Hurt Depressed

Does it have to be a part of childs growing up?

No
Each and every person has the right to feel safe in her/his life and good about him/ herself.

A. What is school bullying?

A situation in which one or more students ( the bullies) single out a child ( the victim) and engage in behaviors, intended to harm that child (Wright, 2003) Bullying is when a stronger more powerful person hurts or frightens a smaller or a weaker person deliberately (on purpose) and repeatedly (Beane, 1999)

A conscious, willful and deliberate hostile activity intended to harm, induce fear through the threat of further aggression and create terror ( Coloroso, 2006)

B. The types of bullying

1.

2.

3.

Verbal Bullying : name calling, taunting, cruel criticism, abusive phone calls, extortion of money, etc Physical Bullying: kicking, pushing, punching, slapping, hitting, etc. Relational/Emotional Bullying : ignoring, isolating, excluding, spread rumor, etc.

C. Who is a Bully?

All bullies have one thing in common:

Something or someone is making them feel insecure. ~Therefore they bully to make themselves feel better.
They could have something going on in their family. They might not feel like they are getting enough attention from parents or teachers. They might have watched their parents or older siblings get their way by being angry and pushy. Maybe they are also bullied. They might be spoiled by their parents.

D. Who are the target of bullying?

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. The kid with special need The kid who is poor or rich The kid who is bright, talented or gifted The kid who wear braces or glasses The kid who has behaviors others find annoying The kid who is fat or thin, short or tall The youngest kid in the class

8. The kid may be a minority. 9. The kid may have a name that is not ordinary, etc.

Possible reasons for being a Target.

If the kid get anxious or upset easily. If the kid usually is alone and doesn't have many friends. If the kid doesn't have a lot of confidence and doesn't stand up for him/herself.

E. What are the effects of bullying?

1.

Physical bullying: broken bones, broken teeth, bruises, scratches, cuts etc. Verbal : afraid, alienated, angry, ashamed, depressed, hurt, sad, stupid, ugly, useless Relational bullying: deny others company, friendship and social interaction, feel incompetent and unattractive, stomachaches, nightmares

2.

3.

F. How to Deal with Bullying?

What to do In the moment

Pretend you Dont even look didnt hear them at them Dont Cry Dont get angry Dont show them that you are upset Talk about it to Write it down so Respond to the someone else you dont forget Bully evenly to tell someone and firmly Ignore them!
Continued

In the moment continued

Turn the comment into a joke. Remove yourself from the situation. Remember you are not the one with the problem. The bully is. Turn and walk away. Go somewhere that an adult is present.

Talk to an adult!

Ways to avoid future bullying

Dont bring expensive things or money to school. Label your belongings with permanent marker in case they get stolen. Avoid unsupervised areas. Sit near the bus driver on the bus or walk with a teacher to class.

More ways to avoid future bullying

Act confident. Hold your head up, stand up strait, and make eye contact. Dont walk alone, travel with at least one other person. Avoid places where bullying happens.

G. Why do others let it happen?

What is a bystander?

A witness

Reasons .

The bully is someone others look up to and want to hang out with. They want to side with the bully because to do that makes them feel strong.

Reasons

Theyre entertained by the bullying. They dont think speaking up will help.

Theyre afraid that if they say something, the bully will turn on them.

Question for bystander...

Would you support the bullied person?

What would make you decide not to help?

Did you know?

Bullying will stop in under 10 seconds when peers (other children) intervene nearly 60% of the time.

85% of bullying takes place with bystanders present. In playground observations, peers intervened and stopped bullying in more instances than adults did.

E. If a bullying happens, what do we have to do as a teacher?

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.

Listen to the report from the victim, the witnesses or parents Pursue the victim to tell the truth Talk to the perpetrator Talk to the witnesses/ bystander Confront the victim, witnesses and the perpetrator about what happen. Communicate with the victims parents by phone or face to face Communicate with the perpetrator's parents. Give consequence ( behavior contract) based on the schools rules

Setting up a bully-free classroom

(

Source : http://www.bullyfree.com/resources/teachers.php)

Hang anti-bullying posters Talk to your students about bullying (set the tone on the first day of

class) Make anti-bullying part of one of your lessons Give the students a list of anti-bullying rules that you can also hang somewhere in the classroom Have the students sign an anti-bullying class pledge on a banner and hang that banner in the classroom Train students on how to deal with bullying (ex: scenarios) Do activities that promote class unity Have an anonymous notes-to-the-teacher box Do not allow students to pick their own groups (for group work) Get students involved in an anti-bullying campaign Keep your eyes and ears open at all times! What else can be done?

Source: http://www.bullyfree.com/resources/teachers.php

Slogans to add to posters or poems.

Get help, do not look on, do something! Dont just stand there, do something! Say no to bullying!

Strategies for Teachers

Do not allow students to choose their own

groups/teams Have assigned seating (and change seating plan if you see a problem arise) Be consistent! Take every students complaint seriously Have meetings with students to discuss bullying issues Get parents involved! Be approachable Create an open and safe environment Provide students ways to deal with bullying Display the Kids Help Phone number in your classroom (1-800-668-6868) Others?

A lot of people are afraid to tell the truth, to say no. That's where toughness comes into play. Toughness is not being a bully. It's having backbone. - Robert Kiyosaki

Resources:
1. http://www.bullyfree.com/resources/teache

rs.php 2. http://www.bullyfree.com/resources/teache rs.php 3. Les Parsons, Bullied Teacher Bullied Student, Grasindo: Jakarta, 2009. 4. Tim Yayasan SEJIWA, Bullying, Gramedia: Jakarta, 2008.

Contact Address:
Email : sriovaningsih@yahoo.co.id Phone no : 0813 1080 7190

Thank You.